


中英字典

by orphan_account



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: 日本語
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 11:17:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 211,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: いつか結ばれる男と女は、足首を赤い糸（赤い縄）で結ばれているとされる。この赤い糸をつかさどるのは月下老人（中国語版）（「月老（ユエラオ）」とも）という老人で、結婚や縁結びなどの神だという。『太平広記』に記載されたこの神にまつわる奇談『定婚店』から[1]、仲人や結婚の仲立ちをする者を指す者を「月下老」というようになった（後述）。日本では、「足首の赤い縄」から、「手の小指の赤い糸」へと変わっている。[要出典]





	1. Chapter 1

her the first scenes of this fic as it was completed over Line and encouraged me to keep writing it~ You’re the bestest!  
Thank you so much to Bianca who also let me spam her with this fic (in significantly larger chunks than just a scene) and analyzed it and screamed and cursed me out a lot. She told me many times that she doesn’t appreciate my type of pain, and that might be one of the nicest things she’s ever said to me.  
Thank you also to Adele and Reeza who sprinted with me even when it was 4 a.m. and I should have been fast asleep. Thank you to Adele for the endless encouragement and support and the constant checking on my word counts (and teasing me that I was never going to keep this under my projected 60k from my first round of plans… she was right, as usual).  
Of course, thank you to Cla, without whom none of my fics would exist. You have my heart, darling.  
A side note of thanks to Ceren who decided WB stands for Wonder Bra. I’m still laughing.  
And thank you so much to all y’all who came here to read this! That y’all would even take a glance and check this fic out means so much to me, and I can’t express in words how happy I am that you’re here! Please enjoy this fic, and do heed the warnings.  
(Now for that cliché phrase you’ve been waiting for) Without further ado, I present to you:  
~*~Warrior Beauty~*~  
Chapter 1: I  
Chapter Text  
Jongin knows the stories; he’s heard them countless times over. They all start the same way: with a pretty omega with a heart of gold and a singular yet classic beauty, and they all end the same way: with a handsome and virtuous alpha who saves the pretty omega from dastardly circumstances, and they live happily ever after, having the most beautiful pups together. Jongin has heard these stories so many times and with such frequency that he might be able to tell the tales of the pretty omegas and the heroic alphas almost as well as his grandmother.  
No one tells stories as well as his grandmother. Jongin, if he weren't too big for it now, would still love to be able to clamber into his grandmother's lap and demand she tell him about the alpha who fought away an entire pack by himself, and kissed his beloved slumbering omega awake from the clutches of a sleep like death with the power of true love. Even now, Jongin still loves those stories, and even now, Jongin still loves to hear them.  
But Jongin is too big to clamber into his grandmother's lap, is too old to ask her to retell the one about the cruel beta who stole the position of lead alpha in his brother's absence and hoarded all of the food for himself, and the valiant alpha who stole food for the pack from right under the beta's nose and fell in love with the missing lead alpha's omega sister along the way. Jongin is old enough now too, and has been for awhile, to know that those stories are nothing more than fantasies, just stories.  
Maybe in some other packs, the desert packs or the elder packs hidden away in the mountains, those stories are true. Maybe somewhere that isn't here, Jongin would be able to lounge around looking pretty and sing to birds and wait for his one true alpha love to save him from some terrible fate and sweep him off of his feet. However, here is not a fairy tale, and here there will not be any alphas fighting through barriers of thorns to rescue him.  
Instead, it's Jongin who will be fighting through walls of thorns and poisonous words to get to his alpha. It's Jongin who will be a knight in shining armor. But he won't be saving any singular person, just proving himself to his own pack. It's his destiny, his father tells him; it's an honor, his mother tells him.  
Follow your heart, his grandmother says.  
"Look alive, Jongin!" his mentor shouts, and Jongin curses, jerking from his thoughts. His muscles scream at him as he pivots hard on his left heel to block his dueling partner's attack. Sehun is fast, pressing through Jongin's block. His forearm slides along Jongin's, slick with the sweat dripping from their skin. Jongin pants, and he slips forward.  
Sehun grabs his shoulder, stepping around Jongin's heel to trip him backwards, and the rush of the sensation of falling twists in Jongin's stomach. He grabs Sehun's shoulders as he falls, kicking at Sehun's ankles and tripping the other omega down with him. Jongin's back hits the ground hard, and he grunts at the pain, kicking both legs up hard into Sehun's stomach.  
Sehun flies over him, hitting the ground on his back too. Jongin hears the breath fly from Sehun's lungs, and he twists up onto his feet, teeth bared. Sehun scrambles up to his feet, copying Jongin's crouch, his nails digging shallow grooves into the dirt of their training ground. He shows his teeth, his canines flashing, and Jongin leaps forward at him, crashing into Sehun. They roll across the ground, dirt flying up around them, in a mockery of a fight they might have in their other forms, teeth snapping and hackles raised and claws tearing.  
They break apart, and Jongin ignores the blood he can feel dripping down his shin from his torn knee, pushing himself to his feet. He circles Sehun, a growl caught in his throat, the warning only barely swallowed as he waits for Sehun to get up.  
"Get up, Sehun!" Minseok shouts. Their mentor's voice has been enough to jerk Jongin from the heat of a fight, enough to distract him for a long second that ends in him flat on his back with teeth at his neck before, but that time is long past. Jongin learned his lesson about taking his eyes off of his opponent a long time ago, learned to keep his focus and his head cool in the midst of a fight. Jongin is good at this- at fighting.  
Sehun stumbles back into a standing position, and Jongin watches him for any sign of movement, rocking on the balls of his feet. In a flash, Sehun has moved in close, his eyes glancing left. Jongin catches the slight smirk on Sehun's lips before the other omega drops to the ground. Jongin jumps.  
It's a common trick of Sehun's to glance left and sweep out his leg from the right. Anyone who has never seen the attack before would follow the usual rule of combat to watch the opponent's eyes. Against Sehun, that person would subsequently end up flat on the ground with Sehun's teeth pressed against sweaty skin. Against anyone who isn't Jongin, the success rate of such an attack is nearly perfect, but Jongin knows Sehun. Jongin knows how to read his opponents, and Jongin does not lose fights.  
Sehun launches himself up from the ground a mere blink after his attack and Jongin's balanced landing, but Jongin is already throwing himself forward. Sehun doesn't manage to get his block up in time, and Jongin drives his knee into Sehun's side. Sehun staggers back, and Jongin lunges after him, grabbing his wrist and twisting it behind the omega's back. Sehun drops to his knees, teeth grit against the pain; Jongin follows, using his weight to press Sehun down so that his nose brushes the ground.  
"Yield," he growls against Sehun's shoulder, teeth just barely grazing over the skin, and Sehun whines to admit his defeat.  
"Alright, good," their mentor calls. "That was good. Relax." Jongin lets go immediately, prancing away from Sehun before he can get in any last minute swipes at Jongin. Sehun growls at him, and Jongin bares his teeth, that growl he'd suppressed earlier now spilling past his lips. Sehun shrinks back, still glaring. Sehun can snarl all he wants, but this is Jongin's victory. "Jongin wins again," Minseok confirms, walking towards them.  
Jongin hasn't lost a match in the past year; it doesn't matter which omega he's fighting, who he's training against.  
"Fucker," Sehun spits, eyes trained on Jongin as he forces himself up from the ground.  
"Sehun!" Minseok snaps, and the beta’s voice is harsh, the tone something that used to make Jongin flinch. Sehun still does, glancing up at the sky and whining "fuck" under his breath. Minseok's fist hits Sehun's shoulder, and the omega yelps, grabbing at the soon-to-be bruise. Jongin laughs, pleased at Sehun's misery.  
"You need to work on your reflexes," Minseok tells Sehun. "You won't be able to garner any respect from our Leader like that."  
Sehun shrugs, getting to his feet. He's much taller than Minseok, but one raised eyebrow from the beta and Sehun is dropping into a bow. He's a good kid, just a little on the young side. In a few sun cycles, he'll really be an asset to the pack. All of them, all of the omegas in training right now, will be.  
"You also can't dawdle on the ground like that," Minseok adds, voice sharp. "That won't be accepted at the tournament, and you'll be considered out even if you're not truly down. Understood?"  
Sehun nods. "Yes," he says. "Not that it matters." He waves a hand in Jongin's direction. "Between the two of us here, Jongin is the only one with any real chance of being the next Second."  
Jongin bristles. Being Second, being the Leader's mate, an arranged match- that's not what he wants. Maybe Jongin has been too tainted by his grandmother's stories; maybe Jongin has always been a romantic at heart. Either way, Jongin doesn't want to take the position of Second. Jongin doesn't want to belong to some alpha simply because he's the best omega to lead the pack. He wants to belong to an alpha who loves him, who belongs to Jongin first. The Leader of the pack belongs to the pack first, and the Second belongs to the pack first.  
There's no love story that can fit inside the tight seams of the hierarchy that structures the top positions of the pack hierarchy.  
"So what?" Minseok challenges. "Are you planning to lose miserably in the tournament? To embarrass your pack and your fellow omegas?"  
Sehun spits on the ground, a little bit of pink mixed with the saliva, blood from a cut Jongin had punched into his lip.  
"No," he mumbles. "I'm just being realistic."  
Minseok sighs, and he reaches out to brush his fingers through Sehun's hair. "You have to do well in the tournament," he says, leaning in close to Sehun. He's speaking loud enough for Jongin to hear him, but his words are not meant for Jongin. "The perfect mate for you might see your performance. This is your first impression as an omega of this pack. This is the first time you step out of the shadow of being a pup, you understand?"  
"Yes," Sehun murmurs.  
No, Jongin wants to say. No, I don’t understand. I didn't agree. Could you come here and say that to me too? If between the two of them, Jongin is more likely to win the tournament and take the title of Second, then between the two of them, Jongin is also the more romantically inclined.  
His mentor saw Jongin's potential and picked him to train. As Minseok is the eldest grandson of the current Leader, Jongin has been lucky, according to his parents, to be able to train under him. Jongin isn't sure that's luck as much as it is fate. If Jongin were lucky, he wouldn't have been born in the cycles of the moon that dictate the possible candidates for the next Leader. However, Jongin was born a night before a full moon in the middle of spring. That spring was in the midst of the sun turns that the moon goddess claims as her time to select the pups who will be participants in the tournament that will determine the strongest alpha and strongest omega. Those two wolves will then take the position of Leader and Second.  
Subsequently, the pair will mate. An arranged mating of circumstance- it's something of which Jongin wants to have no part.  
"You can go home, Sehun," Minseok says, patting the omega's cheek. "You look exhausted." Jongin stretches his hand up over his head, breathing with the release of the tension in his muscles. The breeze picks up, and the soft fabric of Jongin's shirt ripples over his stomach, tickling the skin there.  
"What can I improve on, beta?" Jongin asks. He adjusts his loose linen shorts, scrunching his nose at the blood drying on his leg.  
Minseok shakes his head. "You have a really good chance, Jongin," he admits. "If I hadn't seen some of the other candidates, I'd say it's definitely going to be you."  
Jongin perks up. He hasn't heard anything about the others and their training. He knows who they are, remembers playing with most of them when he was a pup, but now that they're all deep in their training, the most promising candidates spend most of their time with their mentors, Jongin included. He has no idea which of his childhood friends might be right alongside him in the top tier of ability.  
"I can't say anything else. You know that." Minseok drops a hand on Jongin's shoulder, and Jongin nods.  
"Yeah," he murmurs. "I know."  
Minseok squeezes his shoulder. "Now. About what you can improve on-" Minseok's fist slams into Jongin's stomach, and Jongin wheezes, curling in on himself, coughing, his arms folding in automatically to block the second blow.  
"Spacing out," Minseok says, and he draws back. Jongin slips easily into his stance, and he steps inside Minseok's attack, curling his fingers around Minseok's wrist and driving his elbow into his ribs. Minseok stumbles back, coughing out a surprised laugh.  
"Come on, Jongin," he taunts. "You've always wanted to fight me."  
The growl rips from Jongin's mouth before he can stop it, adrenaline running high through his system. He knows Minseok is a good fighter, has seen him take down alphas twice his size, and Minseok has been watching Jongin fight for many moons now. Jongin is at a severe disadvantage unless he does something new and unexpected, and that is something Jongin excels at.  
"You can try, beta," he goads in response. Minseok releases a short howl, and Jongin licks his lips. His canines feel sharper than they should, and he runs forward, arms drawn back like he's going to punch Minseok across the jaw. Minseok turns into the attack, acting like he's going to throw his own punch before Jongin can land his, and Jongin drops to his knees, sliding across the dirt. His knee aches as his skin tears open again, but Jongin ignores it, digging his fingers into the ground and forcing himself back to his feet.  
His muscles strain at the sudden change in momentum, and he spins quickly on his heel to kick hard across Minseok's shoulder. He never connects; Minseok is there, taking Jongin's kick on his forearm and grabbing his ankle. He yanks hard, and Jongin yelps. His supporting leg slips from under him, and he slams hard into the ground.  
"That was good," Minseok says with his eyes glinting dangerously, the irises looking more yellow than their familiar brown. "But not quite good enough."  
Jongin bares his teeth at him, showing his canines, and Minseok’s grin shows his own, his bottom canines reaching almost to his upper lip. He drives downward towards Jongin, rolls just a bit left to avoid the hit before throwing himself back to the right, tackling Minseok to the ground. He scrambles to his feet, panting. He's been sparring with Sehun for hours, and Minseok is fresh. This isn't a fair fight at all, but Jongin can't ever expect a fair fight in a border skirmish or a real attack on the pack. Then again, in a real fight, Jongin would be in his wolf form, but that's not allowed right now.  
Whether or not Jongin becomes the Second, he needs to be ready to defend the pack at any given moment. A slow smile spreads across his face. Defense. Right.  
Minseok attacks again, and Jongin ducks, spinning in and out of Minseok's attacks, blocking them only when he has to. A strong attack doesn't lose energy even after contact is made, continuing on with the force until the opponent has felt the full weight of it. With Minseok, there is no pulling punches. Jongin relies on this tactic in hopes that Minseok with over index his attack and leave himself flailing for his balance for just a second-  
There.  
Jongin steps in, grabbing Minseok's arm and driving his own shoulder into Minseok's chest. He heaves, and Minseok's surprised intake of breath paints a pleased grin on Jongin's face as he throws the beta over his shoulder.  
Minseok hits the ground hard, and Jongin dives after him, pressing his knees hard into the creases of Minseok's thighs and hips, struggling to get his hands around his wrists. He catches one, pressing it down flat on the dirt, and he tries to get his teeth in Minseok's neck before the beta can retaliate. Minseok's hand twists in Jongin's hair, and Jongin lets go immediately at the pain, his head yanked back.  
Minseok's twists up, and Jongin drops his weight again, falling off of the beta and tumbling away. He hears Minseok's teeth snap just beside his ear, and Jongin twists on instinct to retaliate, snapping his own teeth.  
His lips graze the skin of the back of Minseok's neck, and the beta stills, staring at him with a mixture of shock and pride. Jongin pants hard, staring at the beta from right beside him on the ground. If that bite had been real, Jongin would have torn Minseok's neck open, teeth snagging through his jugular.  
Minseok would be dead, and that says something about Jongin. He's strong, probably more than even Minseok realized, and that will make him prized in this pack where strength is the most important quality in those who lead the pack.  
"Jongin, Jongin, Jongin," Minseok laughs, getting to his feet. He brushes his hands on his pants before offering a hand to Jongin to help him up. "You're one crazy omega."  
"You taught me to fight, beta," Jongin reminds. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you lost on purpose."  
Minseok scowls good-naturedly. "If I have ever met a competitive person," he starts, "it's myself. But if anyone can beat me in competitive nature, it'd be you." He claps his hand on Jongin's shoulder.  
"You did well today," he says. "Remember to not space out during fights, yeah?"  
"Yeah, yeah," Jongin grumbles, breaking into a grin when Minseok jostles him.  
"Manners, brat," he says. "Now go home. Eat. Clean your leg." Jongin glances down. The blood has stained the hem of his shorts. His mother is going to skin him alive.  
"Shit," he swears.  
"Don't let Byulhee see that," Minseok warns, stepping away. "Spit gets blood out!" he calls back to Jongin as he heads away from their training grounds. Jongin spits on the ground for good measure, and instantly regrets it, noticing all of a sudden how thirsty he is.  
"Water," he mutters. "Water, water, water." He turns and trudges back towards his parents' home, making a detour towards the river to clean the blood off his leg and to hopefully get most of the stain out of his shorts. His mother just finished making these for him for this summer, and if he's already ruined them, well. He can just hear his mother’s displeased grumbling. The scolding he's going to get is already echoing in his ears as he dunks his head under the river water, scratching the dirt out of his hair.  
He strips out of his sopping clothing and shifts, picking up the articles between his teeth as he trots home. The slight red in his fur has always camouflaged well with the clay of his pack's homeland, but it's also always made him more distinct among his fellow pack members.  
His father carries the same red trait in his fur, and Jongin hopes that someday his pups will too.  
The water from his clothes drips on his paws as he heads towards home, and Jongin grins wolfishly around his shorts and shirt. It's been a long day of training, and he could really go for listening to his grandmother tell him the one about the omega and the alpha who was trapped in his wolf form.  
No one tells stories like Jongin's grandmother.  
~*~  
Jongin sneaks into his home as quietly as he can, hoping the slight drip drop of his clothing on the grass growing up through the cracks of the cabin walls and dirt flooring doesn't attract any attention of keen wolf ears. He presses himself into the shadows, slipping through the small family room before his grandmother or mother can spot him. He draws back his claws as much as he can, avoiding the sounds of sharp nails against the planks of flooring settled along the edges of the walls.  
A slight hum from across the room alerts Jongin to the fact that he's been spotted, and he presses his ears back, ducking immediately. He steps, still cowing, into the orange light filtering into the house through the open thatches in the roof. On a pile of furs gathered on the opposite side of the family room, his grandmother is resting, thread tangled around her fingers as she braids it into a complicated weave that she's tried to teach Jongin many times.  
He's never managed to learn the technique, and his grandmother has long since given up teaching Jongin anything beyond how to darn his usually torn shorts.  
"Hurry up and change before your mother sees you, hm?" his grandmother says quietly, not bothering to look up from her weaving. Jongin ducks his head in agreement before he darts across the family room and into the small corner of the house that he calls his own. The stretched leather hung over the open entrance to the room brushes against Jongin's fur as he pushes inside, stirring up the warm scent of tanned leather and long-since-dried dye that lingers in the threads Jongin's grandmother had used to stitch scenes from the stories she used to tell Jongin into the leather.  
He drops his sopping clothes at his front paws, and rolls his shoulders back, shifting up into his human body. It's dark in his room, but Jongin knows this space so well that he doesn't need much light to locate a strip of cloth and a pair of loose linen pants. He ties the thin band around his knee, hoping that it scabs over soon even if the skin will most likely be torn open again during training tomorrow. Jongin slips into his pants, and the fabric tickles as it brushes over the tops of his feet. Jongin stretches out and flexes his toes, satisfied with the comfortable burn in his muscles.  
Minseok has been working him harder than he ever has, preparing him and Sehun for the tournament, and as much as Jongin appreciates his faith in them, his body is ready for a break. He grabs last night's sweater from the low pile of furs where he sleeps, not bothering to put it on as he steps back out into the family room.  
The nights are cool this time of year, but Jongin's body is still a bit warm from all of the excursions of the day.  
"Hi, Grandma," Jongin greets, walking up to her like she hadn't caught him walking in dripping everywhere.  
"Your mother and father are outside roasting a few rabbits," his grandmother tells him. Jongin plops down next to his grandmother, careful to not disrupt her meticulous concentration on her weaving. "They should hurry up," the old woman continues. "I'm starving."  
Jongin shakes his head, breathing out a laugh. "Don't let my mom hear you rushing her," he warns.  
His grandmother releases her weaving to smack Jongin's shoulder. "My daughter has always been slow," she declares, smacking Jongin's shoulder again. He tumbles over to the side, pouting at her, playing the wounded wolf, and his grandmother laughs, showing a cracked tooth from a fight many moons ago.  
"Mom," is called from the back entrance to the house, and Jongin jerks up, looking over to where his mother stands with dirt on her feet, and rabbit's blood stained on the hem of her dress. "Stop making me look bad in front of my son."  
Jongin's grandmother scoffs. "The boy's seen just shy of twenty sun cycles of you, my dear," she says, throwing a wink at Jongin. "If anyone made you look bad first, it was you."  
Byulhee grumbles something, but she's smiling anyway. "Welcome home, Jongin," she says, choosing to ignore her mother. Jongin's grandmother tsks from her place on the furs but resumes her weaving without another word.  
"Are you hungry?” Jongin’s mother asks, and Jongin perks up again, scrambling to his feet. He hasn’t eaten since the carrots he and Taehyung had shared out in the fields that morning, and his stomach grumbles loudly enough for Byulhee to hear. She laughs, holding out a hand for her son. Jongin kisses his grandmother’s cheek.  
“I’ll bring you the best part, Grandma,” he promises, and his grandmother reaches up to pat his cheek.  
“I knew we raised a good one with this boy,” she says with a cracked-tooth smile. Jongin scrunches his face up at the praise, straightening up and walking over to his mother. Byulhee opens her arms, pulling her son in close to her. She pinches his waist, and Jongin yelps.  
“Ma!” he protests, curling in around himself. She snorts, ruffling his hair. Jongin is by no means tall, but his mother is tiny, standing up on tiptoes to tug on his hair playfully. Jongin struggles towards the door, trying to get away from his mother’s tormenting fingers. “Ma, stop!”  
She laughs loudly, snatching Jongin’s sweater from his hands. He growls, voice too light in his throat to harbor real malice, and his mother shoves him out of the house, shrugging his sweater over her own head.  
“Our terrifying little omega,” she teases, grabbing Jongin’s hand and pulling him over to where his father is pulling two fat, roasted rabbits apart, his nails lengthened into a wolf’s claws, fingers glistening with grease. He kneels over a platter of meat that’s already been separated from bone and sinew, adding another few pieces to the pile.  
“Sungkeun,” Byulhee says, voice gentler as she addresses her mate. Jongin’s father looks up from his task.  
“Jongin,” he greets. “You’re home.” He nods his head towards the second rabbit. “Would you help your mother and me out?” Jongin dips his head.  
“Sure, Pops,” he says, dropping to his knees opposite of his father and pulling the second hare in closer to him, turning it over on its back. His father is similarly shirtless, his stomach covered in little flecks of grease and blood. Jongin sighs in his head. He just washed earlier, and all of his efforts are about to go to waste. On the other hand, his stomach is grumbling all the more violently at the smell of food, and Jongin gets work, splitting the hare open from its neck to stomach, peeling the meat from the bones.  
“How was training today, son?” Sungkeun asks, his rough voice soothing, a familiar comfort after Minseok’s constant orders and demands for Jongin to work harder. He murmurs something to Byulhee, and Jongin’s mother settles on the ground cross-legged, sorting the thicker bones to be boiled into stock later into a carved, wooden bowl. Jongin snaps the hare’s hind leg from the socket, shredding through the dark meat there.  
“Tough,” Jongin answers honestly. His father gives him a look with an expectant eyebrow raised. Jongin swallows. “Minseok thinks I have a good chance, but, well, obviously, I haven’t seen the other omega candidates.”  
His father nods, distracted by his mother poking at his shoulder and holding her mouth open, asking for a taste of the rabbit. Sungkeun sighs, tearing off a piece and popping it into Byulhee’s mouth. She grins around the meat, eyes shining. It reminds Jongin of the way Minseok had looked when he’d met his alpha mate nearly five sun cycles ago now. He’d been so enamoured around Changmin, showing off during training sessions with Jongin and Sehun if Changmin stopped by to watch.  
Jongin’s parents still hold that original spark, that sweet bit of romance between them that initially formed their bond. Jongin looks away, tearing chunks of meat from the rabbit with a little more force than necessary. Everyone around him, everyone encouraging him and hoping for him to do well in the tournament and take the position of Second, have had their love stories; they’ve tasted the happiness that comes with a mate of their own choosing.  
Follow your heart, his grandmother has always told him. Jongin cracks open the hare’s ribs. That won’t be an option if he wins the tournament, and losing on purpose isn’t a choice either. The moon won’t allow that to happen, and the disappointment he would face from everyone around him if he doesn’t at least do his best would be unbearable.  
“Almost done with that one, Jongin?” his mother asks, and Jongin drops the last bit of meat into the pile.  
“Finished,” he announces, and his father whistles.  
“Always so efficient,” he laughs. He leans across the pile of rabbit meat to nudge Jongin with his forearm. The scent of his father, calming, beta, settles against Jongin’s skin, and he can’t help grinning at his parents. He wiggles grease-coated fingers at them.  
“Skilled hands,” he says. Sungkeun nods in approval.  
“Let’s take this inside then,” he requests, getting to his feet. He holds a hand out for Byulhee, and Jongin’s mother’s skirt flutters around her as she’s pulled up into standing position. She leans back down to snatch up her bowl of bones, and Jongin sighs hugely staring up at them.  
“Yes, Jongin,” his father says. “You can carry that inside.” Jongin pouts. “Your grandmother is waiting,” he reminds, and Jongin grumbles under his breath. He shifts into a kneeling position, getting a balanced grip on the platter before he stands, following his parents back into the house.  
“Finally,” his grandmother gripes, rolling her eyes at her daughter and son-by-the-moon. Jongin bites his lip to keep from laughing at his mother’s indignant squawk. “Please, Byulhee,” his grandmother dismisses her easily. “I know you and Sungkeun there take twice as much time as my grandson to prepare dinner.” Jongin settles down next to his grandmother, offering her a piece he’d set aside from the rabbit’s hind leg. She takes it, leaning over to whisper his ear.  
“Pups in love, those two,” she murmurs. “Can’t get anything done around here.”  
“Mom!” Byulhee admonishes, and Jongin’s grandmother simply cackles, stuffing rabbit in her mouth. It’s quiet for a few moments after that, the four of them too invested in eating to continue proper conversation. Byulhee and Sungkeun argue for a moment over who gets the last rabbit ear, and Jongin’s grandmother snatches it up before they can reach any sort of consensus, leaning back on her furs and chewing happily.  
Jongin bursts out laughing at his parents faces, and they shove at each other playfully, Jongin’s father leaning in to plant a sloppy, greasy kiss on Byulhee’s cheek.  
“So, good news,” he starts, leaning back into a more comfortable position, licking grease off of his fingers. Byulhee leans over to pat his stomach, and Sungkeun grabs her hand before she can pull away, tugging her in close to him. Jongin’s father isn’t as muscled as he was in his younger suns, his stomach softer, but his shoulders are still broad and strong, a trait that Jongin carries proudly. “It seems the tournament for the selection of our next Leader is well underway.”  
Byulhee grins, and Jongin’s mood immediately sours.  
“They’ll be returning soon,” Sungkeun continues, giving Jongin this particular look that Jongin doesn’t bother to decipher. He doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. Minseok had already spoken to him earlier about the competition, and Jongin just wants to take his last days before the tournament to determine whether he will or won’t be the next Second, to pretend that fate isn’t looming over him, digging her claws into his spine.  
“How do you know that?” Jongin’s grandmother asks, and Jongin is almost grateful for the apologetic glance she throws his way.  
“Saw our First earlier,” Jongin’s father answers. “He was talking to our Second, and it’s been ten sun cycles since the group left. They’ve got to be returning now. Our Leader and our Second are ready for a reprieve, I think.”  
“You really saw First?” Byulhee asks, twisting to look her mate in the eye. Sungkeun nods.  
“He’s unmistakeable,” he says, and he’s not wrong. The pack’s current First, Chanhyuk, is tall, standing a head over nearly every other wolf in the pack, and the scar that runs down his face makes him impossible to confuse for anyone else.  
Jongin bites his lip. If the First is really back on pack lands, then he’s determined that the alpha and beta pups he has been training alongside a few of the pack’s unranked alphas for the past ten sun cycles, are ready to be reintroduced to the pack. Two of them will be the next Leader and First, and if Jongin is the next Second, then one of them will be his mate.  
He tears apart a chunk of rabbit meat with his teeth, chewing violently to hide his unnerved shiver.  
“Do you think Seokjin will be the next Leader?” Byulhee asks, and Jongin only barely manages to avoid choking on his food. If their Leader’s youngest son is to succeed his mother, Jongin would probably be considered a very lucky omega. Their Leader is a very handsome woman, and it’s almost guaranteed her son would be just as attractive as she is. But Jongin doesn’t know Seokjin, only knows that he’s an alpha just like their Leader. The current Second, a very delicate looking omega with a positively vicious wolf form, is equally as beautiful as her mate, and by all logic Jongin should be grateful if Seokjin did manage to become Leader after his mother. Except that Seokjin is technically Minseok’s uncle even if he’s younger than him by almost three sun cycles, and that’s just weird in Jongin’s opinion.  
If Jongin is Second, then there is a very real possibility that he may never learn to love his mate. At least having an attractive one will make things easier, he hopes.  
“Who knows what the moon has planned,” Jongin’s grandmother says, her gentle voice soothing Jongin’s tense shoulders. “It could very well be Leader’s son, or it may be someone who we would never even consider.”  
“I bet Leader’s brother’s son has a good shot,” Sungkeun suggests. “Maybe even his daughter.”  
“Juhyeon?” Byulhee questions with a raised eyebrow. “She never seemed like the type to really be able to take that on that position and thrive.”  
“They all left when they were only eight to twelve cycles old,” Sungkeun reminds her. “The children we knew briefly will come back as wolves we hardly recognize.” Jongin wrinkles his nose. As an omega, he’s never been allowed to meet any of the alpha or beta children born in the sun cycles of selection. He knows some of the names of those who are out training: Juhyeon, Junmyeon, Seokjin, but his friends consist of fellow omegas and the betas who have been around to guide him into preparedness for the tournament.  
“I wonder which of the omegas are likely candidates,” Byulhee muses. She glances at Jongin. “Alongside our son, of course.” She sounds so proud, and Jongin wants to run away, to return to his room and escape this conversation. His father begins some speech about how the moon had better select some perfect alpha for his son, someone who can protect him and provide him with everything he needs.  
That sounds nice in theory, but Jongin knows the Second of the pack will never be able to live in luxury, doted on by the Leader and loved by the pack. Second is a dangerous position of honor and prowess, and Jongin feels like the echoes of his grandmother telling him fairy tales are growing ever fainter in his memory as reality begins to settle around him, the tournament looming closer and closer.  
If the moon priests are to be believed, then the moon will guide the tournaments according to her will, and all of their speculations will mean nothing. He doesn’t need to think about this, to worry about this, until he’s standing in the midst of the actual tournament being tested for his capabilities as an omega and as a fighter.  
“I’m so full!” Jongin’s grandmother exclaims suddenly, cutting through Jongin’s parents’ discussion of the alphas and betas they knew from before the exodus of the possible candidates. “I think it’s bedtime for me,” she adds. “These old bones need more rest than bears in winter.” Both Byulhee and Sungkeun look up at the elderly wolf, and Jongin pushes himself up to his feet.  
“I’ll help you to your room, Grandma,” he offers, and his grandmother offers him a slight smile, her eyes turning into crescents.  
“Thank you, boy,” she says, and Jongin leans over to help his grandmother up to her feet. She sways for a moment before her balance locks into place, and she slips her hand into the crook of Jongin’s elbow, allowing him to guide her away from his parents’ beginning to clean up and into her room.  
“Thank you,” he tells her after she’s settled down on her own bedding, draping one of the soft wool blankets over her legs.  
“You looked about ready to tear their heads from their shoulders,” she says with a slight shrug and a knowing glint to her eyes. She pats the space beside her. Jongin sits down, letting his grandmother lean up and brush her fingers through his hair.  
“I just didn’t want to talk about the tournament anymore,” he explains, leaning into his grandmother’s touch as she cups his cheek.  
“Then you’ll have to forgive me for saying this,” the old wolf starts, and Jongin feels the tension creep back into his body before he can stop it. “But Jongin, my son, if you do not want to win the tournament, not even the moon can make you.”  
Jongin sighs, his shoulders drooping. He draws his grandmother’s hand away from his face, curling his fingers gently over her wrist. “I can’t let Minseok down,” he admits. “Or my parents. Pops really wants to see me fight. I don’t want him to be ashamed of me.”  
This time, it’s his grandmother’s turn to sigh. “Your father will love you no matter what happens,” she assures him. “Whether you become Second or if you choose to chase after your dreams and find some handsome alpha who belongs to another pack, he will still love you.”  
Jongin tries to smile, he really does, but he’s tired. “Will you tell me a story?” he asks after a moment of silence, his grandmother’s thumb brushing over the back of his hand in a comforting manner.  
“Which one would you like to hear?” his grandmother asks, and Jongin just shakes his head. Anything that distracts him from the pressure trying to crush his chest will do.  
“Alright,” his grandmother begins, seeming to understand. Jongin lays down next to his grandmother, listening to her steady heartbeat as she begins her tale, her fingers returning to brushing through his hair. He relaxes, listening. “Long ago, when the sun and the moon did not rule separate skies and the prey was plentiful, a lovely omega was born to the Grand Alpha of the largest forest pack. This omega had the most pure white fur, and he was of a singular beauty the likes of which the forest had never seen before…”  
~*~  
Jongin wakes to the usual few streams of sunlight over his face, peeking through the cracks between the logs that make up the borders of the house. He groans, rolling over in his furs and stretching out. His back pops, and he flops down face-first in his furs, swearing under his breath about destroying his body before he even gets to the tournament at this rate.  
The sun still glances over his face, and Jongin presses himself up, blinking in the pale pink light of morning. Before winter comes in, Jongin will need to stop up the cracks in his walls with a mix of mud and sand from the river bank.  
He shivers. Next winter, he might not be living here. He could be living in the cabin standing behind the cluster of trees at the head of the large glade on pack lands. Or, if he is lucky, he might be in love and mated to another wolf, and they’ll be holding each other through the winter nights to keep warm. Maybe they’ll have a pup on the way. Jongin smiles gently and breathes a short prayer to the moon for that future, the one that doesn't end in a required mating, and eases himself out of his furs, rooting around his room for a pair of shorts and a long-sleeved shirt.  
He tumbles out of his room, blinking at the brightness in the rest of the cabin. He sighs; his parents forgot to close the open thatches in the roof last night. He walks outside, breathing in the fresh air of morning, the dewy grass clinging to his feet and ankles. He loves this, the gentle hum of morning.  
There's a rustle to Jongin's left, and he holds himself still, listening for a second sound, a follow-up to clue him into what he’d heard and the exact location.  
A wolf leaps out of the underbrush, and Jongin twists, dropping down underneath the wolf's attack. He leaps back up to his feet, baring his teeth at the wolf. The red streaks in the fur are unmistakeable, and Jongin growls, more of a sound of annoyance than threat. The wolf pants at him, shifting up into human stature.  
"Good morning, son," his father greets, snatching his pants from the ground next to the entrance to their home.  
"Pops," Jongin returns, watching his father warily. "Were you just waiting for me?"  
Sungkeun gives a light chortle. "I was out on a run with your mother," he says. "She went to meet some of the other omegas in the fields, and I came back here just in time to see you walking out. Thought I'd test you."  
Jongin rolls his eyes. "I'm not twelve anymore," Jongin tells him. "I'm not going to fall for that."  
"Of course not." Sungkeun waves a dismissive hand. "You're our big bad omega wolf." For all of Jongin's training, he has yet to learn how to avoid his parents' attacks of affection. Sungkeun swoops in, grabbing Jongin up in his arms and holding onto him tightly. "I'm proud of you," he murmurs, and Jongin runs hot and cold at the same time.  
"Thanks, Pops," he murmurs, returning his father's hug. It's a little awkward, their shoulders bumping, but Sungkeun is still Jongin's father, still the one who originally taught him how to hunt. He loves him even though he seems determined for Jongin to take the position of Second.  
"Heading out to the fields?" Sungkeun asks. Jongin nods.  
"They'll be expecting me," he says. "I'll be home in time for dinner, as usual."  
"Is my mother-in-moon awake?" Jongin shrugs.  
"I haven't seen her," he answers. Sungkeun sighs.  
"I'll take care of her. You go on ahead." He clasps a hand on Jongin's shoulder, squeezing it in a comforting manner, and Jongin gives him a half-smile, lips still closed.  
"Thanks, Pops," he says for the second time that morning before he scampers off, running out into the woods towards the southern middle lands of the territory where the pack works the fields. Mud splatters up his legs as he runs, and his skin tingles with the sensation of running because he wants to, of running free because he can. Branches poke at his arms and legs, and Jongin doesn't mind. He's used to this, the scratch of the forest against him. It's home, but the forest can kill him easily if he lets down his guard for too long. His pack is not the only pack that inhabits these woods; his people are not the only predators that call this place home.  
The general chatter and birdsong that accompanies the early spring in the fields reaches Jongin's ears, and he slows to a jog, stepping out of the woods and into the clearing that his pack has farmed for moons upon moons now.  
"Jongin!" Someone yells at him from within the flurry of people leaning down to dig and plant, and Jongin turns in time to catch a small blur flinging itself along with the newly overturned soil. "Jongin!" A small omega girl throws herself into his arms, and Jongin takes a step back to take her momentum, spinning them around.  
"Morning," he says.  
"You're late," Yerim accuses, jabbing a finger at Jongin's chest. He grabs her hand, twisting her around to tuck her under his arm, rubbing his knuckles over her head. She screeches, shoving at his side and trying to get away. Jongin laughs, pulling her in closer and gently flicking her forehead. She pouts up at him, whining.  
"You're still late," she grumps, and Jongin lets her go, reaching out to fix her hair. She bats his hands away, trying to tie her hair back into a braid but fumbling.  
"I'm not that late," Jongin argues. Yerim keeps pouting.  
"They made me start planting waiting for you!" she whines at him, and Jongin sighs, grabbing her arms and pulling her back close to him.  
"Turn around," he orders, and Yerim does, letting Jongin rake his fingers through her hair, twisting it into a braid for her. "Are the others working already?"  
"Yeah," she murmurs. "Jeongguk and Sooyoung were throwing dirt at me." Jongin growls a little bit, and Yerim pokes his cheek. "Don't worry," she adds. "I got them back."  
Jongin grins at her. "Did you?"  
"Yeah!" Her smile widens, eyes bright as they curve up. "Gukkie's gonna be trying to get dirt out of his ears for days." Jongin bursts out laughing, throwing an arm over Yerim's shoulders.  
"You've done well, kid," he says. Yerim just keeps smiling, leaning into him. Jongin didn't grow up with any siblings, but all the younger wolves around him have become something of his own family, his younger brothers and sisters. "Let's go find the others, yeah?"  
"Okay," Yerim says cheerily, and leads Jongin into the soft soil of the planting between rows of what will be cornstalks taller than Jongin himself by the time fall rolls around.  
"Hi, Byulhee!" Yerim calls across a couple rows, and Jongin's mother straightens up from filling dirt into the holes previously dug into the ground, covering the seeds.  
"Yerim," Jongin's mother greets. "I see you found my son."  
"Hi, Ma," Jongin says. He slips out of Yerim's hold to walk up to his mother, kissing her cheek. She pats his cheek in return.  
"The pups have been waiting on you," she tells him. "You know it's your turn to take them running today."  
"My turn and Taehyung's," he corrects. Byulhee shrugs, dropping back to her knees to continue her job. The hem of her dress is dark with mud and dirt.  
"Go find the others," she says. "All of us are tired of listening to them complain about having to work." Jongin throws a glare over his shoulder at Yerim, and the younger omega ducks, smiling sheepishly.  
"Brats," Jongin murmurs.  
"Oh, hush you," his mother scolds. "You complained too."  
Jongin sticks his tongue out at her, and Byulhee flicks dirt at him. "Go run," she says.  
"Yes, ma'am," Jongin murmurs, and he turns back to Yerim. Behind him, his mother's friends titter at her, talking about Jongin. He catches words like 'broad' and 'handsome' and questions about his training and how well he's doing. His mother simply hums in response, and Jongin is grateful for her silence. It's not really anyone's business but his, his family's, and his mentor's how well he's doing in training.  
Anywhere he turns, he can't get away from the tournament. The results will hang over his head for the rest of his life. There's no escape.  
Yerim takes his hand, tugging him over the other end of the field where baskets of seeds are being sorted by a couple of very familiar faces. The wind picks up a bit, and Jongin watches both Jeongguk and Sooyoung look up, noses tilted into the wind.  
"Jongin!" Sooyoung blurts out, dropping the unsorted seeds in her hand back into a basket and rushing over to Jongin. The beta girl is much taller than Yerim, but she doesn't let that stop her from barreling into Jongin, nearly knocking him flat to the ground. Jongin manages to spin on his heel, steadying the both of them.  
"You're late," she pouts, and Jongin sighs.  
"So I've heard," he murmurs, throwing a sharp glance at Yerim.  
"Hey," Jeongguk greets him, dropping the last few seeds in his hands into the proper baskets. "I'm bored."  
"I've heard that too," Jongin tells him. "Where are the others?" Jeongguk shrugs.  
"Dunno. Mom ordered them to dig. The two of us lucked out for sorting duty." Yerim scowls at Jeongguk, and the boy shrinks back even as he tries to maintain a dignified glare in her direction.  
"I was not so lucky," she mutters, kicking at Jeongguk's shins. The kid omega yelps, skittering back behind Joy. Jongin feels fondness warm his chest. These kids have grown up following him around; he almost feels a sense of responsibility over them, a protectiveness.  
"You can lead the run then," Jongin promises her. "To make up for it."  
"What!?" Jeongguk protests, and Yerim claps happily, sticking out her tongue. Sooyoung rolls her eyes.  
"Come on," she says, dragging out her words. "I wanna run." Jongin pinches her waist, and she squeaks.  
"Where's Taehyung?"  
The three younger omegas look at each other. Jeongguk turns and bellows across the vegetable field, "Tae!"  
"Jeonggukkie!" shouts back across the field, and Jongin perks up at the sound of his cousin's voice. It takes him a second to pinpoint the exact location of the voice, but when he spots Taehyung, his hands and shirt covered in dirt and his smile bright, he can't resist rolling his eyes at the omega.  
"Just had to roll in the dirt, didn't you?" Jongin teases when Taehyung jogs up to them. His cousin swipes a dirty hand across Jongin's arm, smearing dirt there with a square grin on his face.  
"Puppy," Jongin adds, wiping at his own arm. Taehyung just rubs more dirt there.  
"The puppiest," he confirms. "We running finally?"  
Jongin tilts his head back to the sky and sighs hugely. "I was not that late!" he complains, and the three youngest give him a matching dubious look. "All of you are brats."  
"You love us anyway," Taehyung says, grabbing onto Jongin. Yerim grabs his other arm, and with Sooyoung and Jeongguk in tow, they traipse across the fields, gathering up the other pups scattered about, easily located by their whining and complaining.  
Working in the fields is omega work usually, but the full pack assists in the production and storage of the crops. The pups begin working as soon as they're old enough to handle instructions regardless of classification, and the older, unmated omegas are the ones who take charge of them on a rotational basis. Jongin and Taehyung have been watching over these pups in the mornings when they're not required to be in training for the tournament with their mentors, watching them grow up for suns. Jongin is so relieved these pups will never have to know the pain of recognizing that they may have to mate for the strength and security of the pack instead of for the happiness of being part of a unit of their own choosing.  
"Any other pups?" Taehyung yells out across the work fields, and when no one perks up and comes running, he nods to Jongin.  
"Alright," Jongin says, counting the pups with them. There are eighteen of them, a mixed bunch of alphas, betas, and omegas. It's a smaller group than Jongin is used to leading, but this means he can take them on a more winding route through the woods, jumping the creeks and climbing up some of the rocks at the base of the mountains that make up the edges of their eastern territory. With more wolves, tiny routes and windy paths make it harder for Taehyung and him to keep track of everyone in their group. "Follow me closely," Jongin orders. "Anyone who trails off will be punished. This is your only warning."  
Most of the pups nod. They've heard the rule of a run many times before and have long-since memorized it. One pup, an alpha whose scent betrays him as being part of the small family that Leader had mercifully allowed to join their pack after their old pack kicked them out, does not murmur any agreement, his eyes sharp and curl of his lips mocking. "You can leave your clothing here," Jongin tells the pups, and pulls his shirt over his head. The alpha pup's eyes roam over Jongin's torso, his blunt fangs just digging into his upper lip. Taehyung nudges Jongin, peeling off his own shirt.  
"I'll take the rear," Taehyung tells him, dropping back. He's always yielded to Jongin's orders, and many of the omegas in training for Second are the same. The weight of expectation makes Jongin's throat burn, but he shrugs it off. The tournament doesn't matter right now; these pups want to run, and Jongin is the only one who can lead them. Taehyung, in wolf form, barks from the back of the pack, signaling he's ready.  
Jongin takes his cue and slips out of his pants to shift, falling onto four paws. The pups follow his lead, stripping out of their clothes and letting the shift roll through their bodies. Jongin, with his red coloring, makes for a good leader on a run, his fur easy to spot if the pups know what they're looking for.  
He barks once when everyone is comfortably settled in their fur, and he gets a chorus of low whines and the shifting of impatient paws on the ground. He turns and takes off at a slow trot into the forest, letting everyone adjust to running in wolf form before he picks up speed. He moves into a quick canter once they've gotten far enough away from the fields that Jongin won't have to listen to an earful of complaints from the older omegas and betas later.  
Someone brushes against his side, and Jongin glances to his side to the see the alpha pup from earlier pulling just a nose ahead of him. Jongin growls low in his throat, a warning for the pup to step back into line with the other pups, but the alpha just returns his own small growl, speeding up just a little bit.  
The group breaks into the open lines of trees, and Jongin takes off running for real. Excited howls follow him, but one slightly growling presence stays right at his side. The alpha pup struggles to keep up with Jongin's speed, and after a moment, Jongin hears Taehyung's bark.  
He slows just a bit, glancing behind him. The pups aren't quite as fast as Jongin yet, their bodies still a little unbalanced from their young age. Without the heavy training that Jongin and Taehyung have been through ever since they were around ten sun cycles of age, pups are not able to fully access the capabilities of their wolf forms until adulthood.  
At this slower speed, the troublesome alpha pup is able to regain a spot right next to Jongin, and his head raised just a tad higher than Jongin's signals his lack of respect for Jongin's position as leader on this run. Jongin growls again, a little louder, a little lower, a little more threatening than simply warning. The alpha pup bares his teeth, trying to pull ahead of Jongin as the group makes it out to the creeks that lead to the river.  
Out here, Jongin needs to slow down a bit for the benefit of the pups. He's run these trails so many times, knows the steps to avoid tripping in the thin streams of water like he knows his own scent, but these pups, even if they've created mental maps by now, don't have the easy control of their bodies that Jongin possesses. Not yet, anyway. With his slowing down, the alpha pup is able to fully overtake him, and Jongin releases a real growl.  
Worried yips and a few obedient barks sound from behind him, but the alpha pup simply releases his own growl. Jongin barks back at Taehyung, and the other omega runs at his full speed, taking the lead of the group. The instant that Jongin feels Taehyung's fur alongside him, smells his familiar scent, he takes off after the alpha pup.  
The alpha pup will one day be a strong wolf, Jongin can tell, but he's not strong now, and he's sun cycles too early to even try to challenge Jongin in a fight. His muscles burn pleasantly as he angles himself forward to reach his full speed, and it's only a few strides before he reaches the alpha pup. He releases one last warning growl, and he watches the alpha pup's ears press back against his skull as he realizes that he's not going to be able to get away with this stunt.  
He doesn't stop running, and Jongin leaps.  
He lands hard on the alpha pup's back, sending them both crashing to the ground, and the pup yelps as he flies off course, sliding across the muddy ground on his side. Jongin is over him before he even has a chance to roll onto his stomach, pressing a paw, claws extended, into the pup’s shoulder and his teeth grazing the back of the pup's neck. He growls again, this time with an order for the pup to stay still.  
Taehyung barks from behind him, and out of the corner of his eye, Jongin can see the omega standing at the lead of the group of pups, holding them all at a standstill. Mocking yips and barks ring out from the pups, their eyes focused on the alpha pup trapped underneath Jongin.  
He closes his teeth around the scruff of the pup's neck and shakes his head a few times, throat raw. The pup whines and whimpers, his ears pressed back still, and Jongin waits another moment, pressing his paw harder against the alpha pup's shoulder before he releases him. He turns to step away, and he hears the rustle of paws splashing into a creek before the growl bursts from the alpha pup's throat.  
Jongin spins, and he’ll bet that the snarl that rips from him is darker than anything the alpha pup has ever heard in his life. The alpha pup shrinks back, whimpering, and the chortles of the other pups soar louder. Jongin straightens up, ears and tail held high, asserting his position as the leader of this run.  
The alpha pup crawls towards him on his belly, twisting his head to bare his neck, licking underneath Jongin's chin to apologize. Jongin snaps at his ear, and the pup skitters back into line with the others. They howl, laughing at him, and Jongin keeps sharp eyes on the pup for a few moments longer before he signals to Taehyung to return to the back of the group and takes off at a canter that he shifts into a run as soon as he's got the whole group moving again.  
Jongin leads them out to the mountains, slowing again in the rockier areas of the territory. He focuses on his footing and maintaining his pace, ears perked for any warning barks from Taehyung or the rustle of any pup getting some crazy idea and running off. They splash through one of the shallow areas of the river, mud flying up around them as they cross back into the thick of the territory and towards the main glade.  
The loud panting behind him as Jongin leads his group of pups into the glade makes Jongin snort. The other omegas in training haven't been running this lot hard enough if they're this tired. Jeongguk whines from behind him, nudging his big, black-furred head into Jongin's shoulder.  
Jongin licks over his nose, and Yerim whines from Jongin's other side until he does the same to her. He feels warm; he loves these pups. If nothing else, he's grateful for the training to be the Leader's Second because of the wonderful pups that cling to him that he knows are going to become excellent wolves in the future.  
The group of wolves walks slowly through the glade, ducking their heads at any of the older wolves that they pass, heading back towards the fields to collect their clothes. The alpha pup that had challenged Jongin walks past him last, his tail tucked between his legs. Jongin licks over his muzzle, and the alpha pup whimpers, looking up at him with wide, respectful eyes. He's trembling a little in his skin, still scared of Jongin, and Jongin, as awful as it is, is pleased by this. He nudges the pup off towards the fields, and he turns his attention to Taehyung where he sits, snorting at Jongin.  
Jongin cocks his head to the side. Taehyung snorts again, clearly amused by Jongin's actions. Jongin shows his teeth, but he wags his tail to show he's just playing. Taehyung leaps up onto four paws, scrabbling at the ground with his front paws, tail wagging behind him. He points his nose towards the opposite side of the territory that they just ran through and scrabbles at the ground again, claws showing. Jongin looks up at the sky and then down at the shadows on the ground. There's still a bit of time before either of them are due for training, their mentors similarly busy with their duties as pack members at this hour.  
Taehyung wags his tail, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, and Jongin nods. He's definitely game for a hunt with his cousin. They haven't had a chance to go hunt together in a few weeks, and Jongin misses it, the easy camaraderie of loping alongside his cousin as they search for small prey.  
They turn tail and run out of camp together, falling into a two-wolf line with Jongin at the lead. His claws grip the mud, spurring him forward on silent paws, and Taehyung falls into step behind him, copying his paw steps.  
They slow as they reach the part of the forest where the underbrush is thickest, choosing their steps carefully so as to not make any noise. Jongin drops low to the ground, letting his red fur blend in with the clay on the ground. Taehyung and his brown fur already lost in the mud and tree bark.  
A sharp scratch on a branch to Jongin's right stills him, his focus directed solely on the beaver scratching away at a few sticks. Beside it, another beaver, a little bit smaller in stature but equally fat, chews at the stick caught between its small paws. Jongin glances over at Taehyung. His focus is settled on the two beavers as well, and he nods nearly imperceptibly at Jongin. They creep forward together, splitting off to leap from both sides, scaring the beaver's onto each other's claws.  
Wolves don't prefer to hunt such small game, but as a friendly hunt with only the two of them, Jongin isn't about to vote for hunting down any elk or bison. Jongin's wags his tail once, and he and Taehyung leap forward at the same time. The beavers look up just in time to see the two wolves descending, and then Jongin has his teeth in the back of the larger beaver's neck, his teeth sliding cleanly through its spine.  
He lifts the beaver in his jaws, looking at Taehyung doing the same, and together they trot around the territory, heading back to the fields to locate their clothes.  
"That was fun," Taehyung says when they're dressed and walking away from the field work with their beavers held in their arms. Blood drips over the crook of Jongin's elbow and he gives the dead beaver in his grasp an extremely unimpressed look as it soaks through the sleeve of his shirt. He should give up trying to keep his clothing clean.  
"That run was good," Jongin agrees. "And the hunt."  
Taehyung throws a grin his way. "You were so intimidating," he says. "That pup was shaking so hard."  
Jongin rolls his eyes, following Taehyung on the route towards his cousin's parents' home. "He's the one from another pack. I don't think he knows that omegas aren't actually alpha toys around here."  
Taehyung laughs. "I doubt he thinks that now." He steps over a small creek, shoving through the thick of the branches hiding his parents' home from view. Jongin follows him, scowling at Taehyung when he almost lets the branches snap back into Jongin's face. "I bet it will be a few sun cycles before he bothers to try to talk to another omega."  
Jongin just grins, following Taehyung around to the back of his house. "Dad?" he calls. "Dad, I got something!"  
"Inside, Tae!" calls back, and Taehyung lets out a loud groan.  
"But Dad," he whines. "We're outside with bloody things!"  
There a rustle from inside the house, and Jongin's uncle appears at the entrance to the house with a panic-stricken expression on his face. "What did you-? Oh." Jongin holds up the dead beaver, shrugging. Taehyung cackles beside him, and his birth father shakes his head, stepping up to the two of them to take the beavers off their hands.  
"You're a brat," he tells his son, and turns a far sweeter expression on Jongin. "How are you, Jongin?"  
"Doing alright," Jongin answers. His uncle gives him a once over, expression unreadable.  
"You look like you're doing well," he says as if Jongin hadn't just answered his question. "Training going okay?" Jongin nods.  
"Yes, Uncle," he answers. Taehyung's father looks up at the sky and clucks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He focuses his eyes on Taehyung, but his following words are for the both of them.  
"Doesn't training start soon for you boys?"  
Jongin and Taehyung both jerk to look at the sky before they meet each other's gaze, eyes wide.  
"Shit," Taehyung breathes.  
Jongin's uncle just laughs. "Get going, kids," he says, and he hefts the beavers up. "Tell your parents to come over tonight, Jongin," his uncle suggests. "It'd be nice to see my sister. And you did do half of the work," he adds, shaking the larger beaver at them.  
"Yes, sir," Jongin agrees.  
"You never appreciate me, Dad," Taehyung complains, but he grabs Jongin's wrist. "Come on," he says. "We gotta get out to training. You especially." He drags Jongin off towards the dry training grounds where Jongin has been meeting Minseok everyday for almost ten sun cycles.  
"Have fun, boys!" Taehyung's father yes after them, and Taehyung throws a smile back over his shoulder, continuing on towards Jongin's training grounds.  
"You're going to be late," Jongin warns as they near his own training lands. Taehyung just shrugs.  
"Do you really think I have any sort of chance to be Second?" he asks, eyebrows lifted. Jongin bites his lip.  
"If the moon determines that you're best for the position," Jongin answers carefully. Taehyung was born the night before the last full moon, the night before the cut off for the cycles of selection. He’s the youngest of them all; if he were to win, the moon would have a heavy hand in it. Taehyung just laughs at him, punching his arm.  
"Jongin, come on," Taehyung starts. "You, Seulgi, Chanyeol. Maybe Namjoon or Jongdae. Any of you would make a good Second. Me?" He puffs out his chest. "I'm a capable omega, but I'm not a capable Second." Jongin smacks his cousin's chest, and Taehyung deflates, dropping down to sit on a fallen tree. He digs his toes into the soft dirt and ferns.  
"Taehyung," Jongin tries, but his cousin shakes his head.  
"Listen to me," he demands. It's rare for Taehyung to give Jongin any sort of serious order, and worry surges through Jongin. He shuts his mouth and sits down next to his cousin. Taehyung fixes him with a very serious look, his eyebrows drawn in. "I'm going to do my best in the tournament," Taehyung promises. "And as much as I know my dad and my pops would love for me to be able to take the position of Second, they don't expect that of me. Between us, they know you're the one with a real chance."  
Jongin sighs, closing his eyes, and he shifts to avoid Taehyung's comforting hand on his wrist.  
"Did you know no one has asked me if I want to be Second?" Jongin murmurs his question, and he laughs out an annoyed huff of hair. "It's always 'Jongin, you're really a good candidate' or 'Jongin, I know you're going to make a great Second.' No one asks if that bothers me, or I even want to take on that responsibility."  
This time, Jongin doesn't shrug off Taehyung's hand on his wrist. "Look, Jongin," Taehyung says, and his tone is serious. Taehyung, for all of his silliness, is one of the wisest omegas Jongin has ever met. He thinks Taehyung probably inherited it from their grandmother. "Don't start resenting something that hasn't even happened yet, yeah?" Jongin opens his eyes, meeting Taehyung's. The shade of brown is the exact same as Jongin's grandmother's, and Jongin instantly feels just a little bit better.  
"You worry about this so much," Taehyung starts. "You bring it up all the time, and honestly, it sounds like you already think of yourself as Second." He bites his lip, dropping his gaze. His hand tightens on Jongin's wrist. "Jongin. Do you want to be Second?"  
For all of his griping about no one asking him this question, Jongin finds himself without an answer. Does he want to be Second? What he wants is a future with an alpha who loves him, but he also wants the security of his pack, of his home that he loves so much. His jaw works, but no answer is voiced.  
"I'm going to find a good alpha," Taehyung says, suddenly conversational. "Someone who wants a family more than anything else." He shows Jongin a huge smile. "I really want pups."  
Jongin licks his lips. Of course Taehyung wants pups; he's always loved pups. Jongin could be persuaded to have pups with the right alpha, but as of now, he doesn't have the same strong pull that Taehyung does towards pup-rearing.  
"I also just want someone gentle," Taehyung continues. "Like how my pops treats my dad. And you know, I just can't see you with that sort of mate, Jongin. Someone gentle. You deserve to be pushed to be stronger, and I think, as much as you don't want to hear this, that Second might be what you've been meant to be all along."  
Jongin tries to scoff, to shove away Taehyung's words. "You only say that because you think having your cousin as Second will get you special privileges." He expects Taehyung to whine, to lean against him heavily and bat his eyelashes, saying that Jongin would definitely give him special privileges. Taehyung doesn't do that though; instead, he says, very quietly, his words an echo of something Jongin's grandmother has said to him before.  
"The best omega for the position will win the tournament," Taehyung assures. "And the moon will guide the right person to win. And she won't let her Leader and Second suffer together. That will destroy the pack. Everything will work out the way it's meant to."  
They sit there for a few more moments, simply breathing, and Jongin rolls Taehyung's words over in his mind again and again. Taehyung jumps to his feet, pulling Jongin up with him.  
"Now, come on," he says, chipper again. "I'm definitely going to be late, but you don't have to be." Jongin allows Taehyung to lead him to the dry-dirt clearing where Minseok is waiting, and he greets his mentor on autopilot, his thoughts focused skyward on their goddess, the moon.  
Everything will work out the way it's meant to. That's not as comforting as it could be, but Jongin prays the words repeatedly in his head, still unsure which result he hopes the tournament produces.  
~*~  
Despite Jongin's father's insistence that he'd seen the First wandering around pack lands and speaking with their Leader and Second, Jongin doesn't hear any official news until three days later. It's Minseok who tells them, him and Sehun, ending their training session with a very serious look on his face. Minseok is usually serious, but not so much that he won't play around. Today, however, any sense of playfulness is gone. He doesn't give Sehun or Jongin any advice, anything that he'd noticed during the session that they need to work on improving. He'd called them over to him after their last bout, another win for Jongin, and crossed his arms over his bare chest.  
"They've chosen the next Leader," is all he says, and Jongin's heart seizes in his chest. The next Leader has been chosen, and that means the tournament will start soon. There cannot be a new Leader without a new Second.  
"And the First?" Sehun asks. Minseok nods.  
"She has also been selected," their beta mentor admits, and that's the most information they can get out of him. The next First is female, and the next Leader is completely anonymous. Most likely, Minseok himself doesn't even know who the next Leader is, only that that wolf is stronger than the rest of the candidates who left ten cycles ago to train. That much is common sense; that is how the Leaders are selected. That's how it's always been.  
"So then..." Sehun hedges, unable to really voice the question, and Minseok nods his head, eyes focused on Jongin.  
"Yes," he answers Sehun's unspoken inquiry. "The tournament will start in three day's time. When the sun rises three days from now, you both will stand before moon priests and be formally declared candidates for the position of Second in front of the pack."  
Sehun's head jerks with his nod of understanding, the motion inhibited by the tension Jongin can see now pulling harshly on the younger omega's muscles. Jongin understands; he feels the same way.  
"You're both going to be fine," Minseok assures them, but his gaze never leaves Jongin, never strays to Sehun or the moon or even Changmin when his alpha comes to collect Minseok and take him to their home for the night. Trepidation and pressure- they both take up residence in Jongin's chest, pushing down on his heart until the world starts spinning around him. Jongin can't breathe.  
"We'll train tomorrow," Minseok says, and his own nerves about the tournament tremble in his voice. "Go home, both of you. Enjoy your families." Jongin clenches his eyes shut, and Minseok's meaning rings harsh in his ears. It might be one of your last nights with them.  
Jongin all but sprints home, his feet pounding across the forest floor as he runs. He tries to outrun his own fear, tries to outrun the clear expectation that his mentor has for him, tries to outrun his own lack of knowledge as to whether or not he wants to try for Second or second, if he really trusts the moon to make the right decision for the pack. He questions if their goddess is even real or if she even cares.  
He bursts into his home with his heart beating far too quickly, his blood rushing in his ears. He tries to calm down, to relax before his parents see him and question after he well-being. Jongin is fine: he's healthy and well trained. Jongin is not fine: he's uncertain and afraid.  
"You're home!" his mother nearly shouts, bowling into her son. She clings onto Jongin tightly, and her excited energy rocks through Jongin's body. He forces his breathing to even out. "What's wrong?" Byulhee asks. "Are you feeling okay? You heard the news, right?"  
Jongin nods stiffly. "Yes, Ma."  
His mother reaches up to brush her fingers through Jongin's hair a few times, tugging apart some of the tangles before she tucks it back behind his ear and settles her hand on his jaw.  
"My omega son," she says, and the pride in her voice resonates in Jongin's chest. It calms the fear in his only a little, but it does not stop the thoughts of uncertainty that gnaw at him. "Come eat." His mother takes his hand, leading him outside where his father sits with a freshly-killed buck in front of him. Around him sits Jongin's uncles, his cousin, and his grandmother. "You're father and Uncle Dongwon caught a buck for tonight," his mother tells him as if Jongin can't see what's obviously right in front of him. His vision blurs. "Just in time for the occasion too!" Byulhee urges Jongin to sit at his father's side, and she settles herself beside him, her shoulder brushing Jongin's upper arm.  
"I see your mentor kept you late," Dongwon greets. "I hope that means exciting things for my nephew." He reaches out, and Jongin meets him in a daze, clasping hands with his cousin's father. Sungkeun's hand is steady on Jongin's shoulder.  
"He's a top candidate," his father says. His declaration could be nothing. Candidates don't battle or even see each other much outside of training, their days in the fields set in rotation so that they work in different fields at different times. The lack of interaction is supposed to keep friendships from forming so that the competition still runs thick in the tournament, no one losing because he or she can't bear to step on a friend's chances.  
"He certainly looks like it," Taehyung's birth father agrees. Byulhee grins at her brother.  
"Let's not say anything too crazy, hm, Beom?" Jongin's mother says to her brother, but she's still smiling, her pride evident at Beom's praise. Jongin meets Taehyung's eyes, and his cousin shrugs apologetically, frowning. Jongin sighs.  
"This isn't cooked," he interrupts the conversation.  
"A traditional meal, kid," Dongwon says. He gets to his feet and strips off his shirt, pulling at the ties on his shorts. "Hunters eat first, but since these two-” he point at Jongin and Taehyung “-will be fighting for their place in the pack in a few days, I say we give them the first bite." He glances around at them all, waiting for objections.  
Jongin coughs. "I think that we should thank the reason this is even a possibility," Jongin offers. "Neither Taehyung nor I would be here without our omega parents, and they wouldn't be here without our grandma." There's a collective hush around the small group, and it's Beom who breaks it with a small smile.  
"Mom?" he asks, reaching out to grab Jongin's grandmother's hand. She nods, pulling at the tie around the neck of her dress that holds the whole thing together.  
"Thank you, boy," she says to Jongin.  
"Yes, ma'am," he answers.  
"A true omega," Beom says. Jongin freezes, staring up at his uncle. "You have the makings of a good leader, Jongin," his uncle continues. "The moon has big plans for you." Jongin swallows, mumbling a garbled 'thank you' before he tugs off his shirt and shorts and shifts into his wolf form. The others follow suit, and everyone stares respectfully at their front paws at the eldest of them drops her dress to the ground and changes into her own wolf form.  
Jongin's grandmother is a dignified silver wolf, her muzzle white with age. Her front right canine is cracked, the point of it missing. She's a fantastic wolf, Jongin knows. He glances to his side where his father's wolf form stands only slightly smaller than Jongin's. He's a broader wolf, but the matching red in their fur brushes against each other, lining up evenly.  
Jongin's grandmother steps forward and lower her head to the buck's neck. The first bite is hers, and Jongin swallows hard at the smell of fresh meat. He hopes he's not drooling as he waits for his grandmother to eat her fill. He glances up at his cousin; Taehyung hasn't bothered to stop himself from drooling. He meets Jongin's eyes when their grandmother steps back, the blood on her snout standing out against the white fur. Together, he and his cousin step in to eat their own fill of the deer.  
It's been awhile since Jongin's been able to eat a traditional meal in wolf form, and he'd forgotten how excellent it is, how much better it tastes, and how messy it is. He eats a little more than his stomach wants, but he doesn't regret it, not when the taste of raw venison on his tongue makes him feel revitalized from the past week of training.  
Taehyung and Jongin's parents sit around after dinner with Jongin's grandmother, talking and joking about the upcoming tournament. They put Taehyung and Jongin to work dragging the deer carcass out into the woods for the scavengers to eat, but even out of their wolf forms, they can hear the conversation.  
"I hear Seokjin didn't win," Jongin's father says. Jongin throws an annoyed glance at Taehyung and makes him laugh with the rude gesture he throws back in their parents' direction.  
"Sungkeun," Byulhee scolds. "You don't know anything. You're making that up."  
"No, I think he's right," Taehyung's father adds. "Leader isn't the best at keeping secrets. She would have been running around all excited if her youngest were to be following in her footsteps."  
Jongin stops the deer and jerks his head back towards his home. Taehyung grabs him, pressing a finger to his lips.  
"They think we can't hear them," he mouths.  
Beom snorts. "Dongwon, love, Leader and Second are nearly sixty sun cycles old. I don't think they jump around excitedly for anything."  
"Sixty is not that old, boys," Jongin and Taehyung's grandmother interrupts. "I was sixty not that long ago."  
"Almost twenty sun cycles, Mom," Byulhee murmurs, and their grandmother hums.  
"Has it really been that long?" she asks. She raises her voice, "And where are my grandsons? Getting lost in the woods?" Taehyung throws Jongin a panicked face, and Jongin and his cousin race through the woods back to where their parents are talking. Just before they break through the treeline, Byulhee leans forward to whisper something else.  
"I bet it's Juhyeon," Jongin's mother murmurs. "She was always a force to be reckoned with." Taehyung grabs Jongin's hand, pulling him out of the shadows of the trees.  
"They won't stop talking about it unless we're there," he hisses. Jongin seriously doubts that.  
"There you are, boys," Jongin's grandmother greets when they settle into their original positions between their parents. "I was beginning to think a bear had gotten you."  
"Don't be silly, Grandmama," Taehyung says. "Jongin's good, but he's not that good. But we’re too fast to be caught." Jongin's cousin sticks his tongue out at him directly following that, and Jongin frowns at him, scrunching his nose. Their parents keep talking, Beom and Byulhee discussing the crops and Sungkeun whining at his mate to join him on a hunt again one of these days. The conversation drags on and on, Jongin and Taehyung only speaking when directly asked a question and spending the rest of the time trying to talk with small hand gestures and exaggerated eye movements. It feels like hours later that Jongin's grandmother announces her tiredness and shoos her son and his mate home.  
"Jongin," his grandmother begins after Taehyung has left, waving at Jongin as he walks away between his fathers, their arms thrown over his shoulders. "Can you help me back inside? I think shifting took a lot more out of me than I expected."  
"Mom, I can you," Byulhee says, getting to her feet. "Let Jongin go rest."  
"Ma, it's fine," Jongin interrupts. "Just. Talk with Pops, if you want. I'll go with Grandma."  
Byulhee pauses for a second before she nods, settling down next to Sungkeun again. Jongin helps his grandmother to her feet and lets her lean against him as he guides her inside the cabin and to her room. The scent of recently burned juniper berries assaults his sense of smell, and he scrunches up his nose.  
"Let me sit down," his grandmother laughs. "You've always hated that smell."  
"It's rancid," Jongin admits, helping his grandmother settle down on her pile of furs.  
"It clears the mind for prayer," she corrects him.  
"What have you been praying about?" Jongin asks.  
"You," his grandmother answers simply. She takes his hand between both of hers. "I pray about you and your cousin most. But we both know Taehyung is not going to make it to the final rounds of the tournament. So right now, my focus is you."  
Jongin breathes, letting the pain of the stench of the juniper berries stinging his throat calm him. "I see."  
Jongin's grandmother tightens her grip on his hand, her small fingers still agile as they slip between Jongin's own fingers, pressing between his thumb and first finger. It feels nice; her touch is warm.  
"The moon has a plan, Jongin," his grandmother says. "She will make the right choice for our pack. I promise you this."  
"Does the right choice have to be me?" Jongin asks, voice low. His grandmother shakes her head, and Jongin hangs his.  
"No." She reaches out and brushes Jongin's hair away from his face. "It will be who the moon decides is the right omega." She hums then, a gentle tune that Jongin recognizes. It's an old folk song that his grandmother and his mother both used to sing him to sleep when he was younger. It's a song that Taehyung used to sing when they were playing in the river together, cleaning up after training with their own mentors. He would splash Jongin repeatedly until he finally gave in and sang along. Jongin mouths the words as his grandmother hums the notes, but he's too tired to really sing along. His eyes burn as he listens, tears swimming at the bottom of his vision, a mixture of emotion and the irritation of the burned juniper berries. His grandmother's warbling voice cuts out.  
"You need to cut this mess, boy," she says, tugging on a lock that keeps falling in his eyes. "Your hair is too long."  
"But I look pretty, right?" Jongin tries. He smiles, but he can feel the expression stop at his cheeks, never quite reaching his eyes.  
"Oh, my darling," his grandmother says, and her fingers slip from his hair to his cheek, brushing away a tear before it can drip off of Jongin's chin. "You are ruggedly handsome, my son." Jongin lays his own hand over his grandmother's where it rests against his cheek, leaning into her touch. "And I promise you will find love."  
Jongin inhales and exhales shakily. "Thank you," he manages. He stands up then.  
"Goodnight, Jongin," his grandmother murmurs. "Don't forget to pray." Jongin ignores those words.  
"Goodnight, Grandma."  
~*~  
Jongin circles Sehun slowly in wolf form, his paws soft and soundless against the ground. He keeps his eyes on Sehun's, the pale blue of Sehun's wolf eyes riveting but also tell-tale if he decides to make a move. Adrenaline surges through Jongin, anticipation tastes like blood and the tang of not-yet-ripe berries. Jongin walks a little slower, circling continuously in step with Sehun. His training partner's gray fur ripples with his muscles at they walk, sizing each other up.  
It's been awhile since Jongin has seen Sehun's wolf form, but he could never forget the easy grace with which Sehun moves when he's down on all fours. He isn't really any bigger than Jongin is, his legs a little longer, his paws maybe a hair's breadth wider. Jongin lets his own paws fall into the print he and Sehun have been pressing deeper and deeper into the dirt with each circle.  
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jongin registers Minseok urging them to just hurry up and fight. This is their last spar of the day, and both of them are exhausted. But there is something about being in wolf form that is revitalizing; there's something about walking on all fours that makes this fight feel like it means more, like Jongin has something to prove.  
He leans in a bit, stepping inside the circle of paw prints, slowly closing the gap between him and Sehun. The other wolf follows Jongin's actions, and the space between them shrinks considerable as they move ever so slightly closer and closer. Jongin's claws extend, and he watches Sehun's to the same, their new paw prints looking more and more dangerous as they step in just a bit closer.  
Perfect.  
Jongin lunges, and Sehun rears back, clearly ready for him. The other wolf lifts up onto his hind legs, and Jongin crashes into him, knocking Sehun onto his back. His momentum is too much for him to hold Sehun down, and Sehun uses that against him, rolling over against until it's Jongin on his back. He kicks hard, scraping down Sehun's side with his claws, and Minseok shouts a warning at them.  
"No claws!" he screams. "You don't want to go into the tournament torn to ribbons already!" Briefly, Jongin thinks he might not mind. That would definitely almost guarantee his loss. But then Sehun is ducking down to snap at Jongin's neck, and Jongin is not about to lose this round. He squirms hard, throwing Sehun's balance before the wolf can get in too close to him. He rolls out from underneath Sehun, jumping up to his paws and whirling around to dive back in to attack.  
Sehun rears up on his hind legs again, ready to take Jongin's attack, but Jongin is prepared for that. He stays low, barreling forward and knocking into Sehun's side, completely throwing off his balance. He keeps running, loping away from Sehun. The gray wolf leaps after him, chasing him around with his teeth bared.  
Jongin shows his own teeth, and he and Sehun run shoving at each other, trying to get teeth in the other's neck, snarling and barking. It takes one well-timed shove from Jongin to get Sehun to stumble just enough off course, and he takes the opportunity. He dives onto Sehun's back, and he and the gray wolf roll again. This time, however, Jongin is prepared, and he lets go of Sehun before the other omega can trap him like he did last time. Sehun rolls, and Jongin steps over him, pressing him down much the same way he did to the alpha pup the other day. He presses his full weight onto Sehun's chest, and he leans down without preamble, jaws open and Sehun's fur against his tongue as he mimes tearing out his throat.  
Sehun is breathing hard, but Jongin doesn't let up, holding him down until he hears their mentor call the fight.  
"Alright, well done," Minseok says. It's then that Jongin steps back, and he and Sehun watch each other warily, changing back into human form and moving to grab their clothing.  
"That was good," Minseok tells them when they're standing side by side in front of him, their racing hearts calming. Jongin still feels on edge. Fighting in wolf form is something they don't do often; it's something that is reserved for real battles like border skirmishes and camp attacks. His hands shake a little bit with the leftover energy. "Jongin, Sehun," Minseok says, grabbing their attention. Jongin struggles to get his eyes focused on his mentor.  
"As you both know, the tournament begins in two days," Minseok informs, and Jongin nods, Sehun beside him doing the same. "Less than two, really," Minseok amends. "There's tomorrow and then, in the morning on the next day, you'll be officially in contest for the position of Second."  
Jongin catches Sehun rolling his eyes in the corner of his vision. "We know, beta," Sehun says.  
"You've both trained hard," Minseok tells them. His gaze settles on Jongin again. "Really hard."  
"Thank you," Jongin and Sehun chorus.  
"It's been an honor to work with you," Minseok says. "If I could ever have pups, I'd want them to be something like you."  
Sehun snorts. "You're really getting sappy in your old age," he teases, but he’s smiling, pleased as Minseok's praise. As a beta mated to an alpha, Minseok won't ever be able to bear his own pups, but Jongin has talked about this with Sehun before. The younger omega claims he would name Minseok the guardian of his pups in the case that anything happened to him. Jongin thinks Minseok would love that.  
"Hush you, brat," Minseok snaps without any real heat to his words. Sehun just grins.  
"We've still got training tomorrow though," Jongin interrupts. "Shouldn't you save the goodbye speech for then?"  
Minseok shakes his head. "I've trained you both harder than ever these past few days, and you've done really well." He reaches out, settling one hand on Jongin's shoulder and the other on Sehun's. "Tomorrow, I want you both to rest. Gather your strength. This is my last order as your mentor."  
"Yes, beta," Sehun murmurs immediately.  
"Yes, beta," Jongin echoes.  
"Good," Minseok states. He lets go of their shoulder then, and he pulls Sehun down into a hug. "Go home," he tells the tall omega. "I'm proud of you."  
"Thank you," Sehun says, and he briefly hugs Minseok back a little tighter before he lets go. He nods to Jongin and scampers off into the woods, running into the shadows of the forest. The next time Jongin sees him, they'll probably be enemies, facing each other much like they have for moons upon moons. If that's the case, Jongin already knows as well as Sehun does who will win.  
"Can I go?" he asks. "Or do you need to hug me too?"  
Minseok gives him this incredulous face. "You know I have more to say to you, Jongin."  
"Right." Jongin sighs.  
"Listen," his mentor begins. "You have very real chance of becoming Second." Jongin just nods. He's heard this before.  
"I don't want this to intimidate you," Minseok continues. "But I want you to be prepared in case the results are such that-"  
"Who's the top candidate?" Jongin asks, cutting through Minseok's words.  
"We don't rank you all," he says. Jongin flaps his hands at him.  
"Yeah, but you do come to watch all of us. I've seen the other mentors hovering around here, watching," Jongin argues. Minseok sighs.  
"I don't know if you've seen him any time recently," he relents. "His name is Chanyeol. He's tall."  
"Sehun is tall."  
"Chanyeol has natural leadership qualities," Minseok adds. "He would be an excellent Second for the pack." That makes all the sense in the world. Jongin used to know Chanyeol, but he’s sure the chubby kid he knew back before their training began is no more. Chanyeol is the grandson of the First; naturally, he would make a great candidate.  
Jongin worries his bottom lip. "Better than me?" He shouldn't be asking that; he doesn't want to be Second. Then again, he apparently doesn't not want to be Second, if Taehyung is saying anything with an ounce of his seemingly inborn wisdom.  
"Perhaps," is Minseok's response. He meets Jongin's eyes again. "This new alpha is going to be a good Leader."  
Jongin jolts. "You met...?" Him? Her? Neither? He doesn't finish his sentence. Minseok shrugs with a secretive smile.  
"I did," he says. "Trust me, Jongin. If you win, our pack will be very powerful." He opens his arms then and pulls Jongin into a hug, murmuring praise in Jongin's ear, telling him how proud he is of him, wishing him good luck.  
"Aren't you going to wish the moon's guidance on me?" Jongin asks when he pulls back.  
Minseok frowns. "Don't tell anyone this," he begins, "but I don't really believe in the moon goddess. I believe in hard work and well fought battles. I think ability will make the right choice in who our Second should be." He stares at Jongin as if challenging him to make an argument, but somehow, that's the most comforting thing anyone has said to Jongin yet in preparation for the tournament.  
"Good luck," Minseok says. "Go home. Rest."  
"Yes, beta," Jongin agrees. "Thank you." But he watches Minseok leave the dirt clearing first, watches the shift of the beta's muscles under his skin. He looks down at his own body, at his broad chest and shoulder, the slight flare of his hips that belies his real strength. Sure, he tells himself, he has a good shot at the position of Second, but maybe someone else, one of his rival omegas, has a better shot at taking over the role of leadership in the pack.  
Ability will make the right choice. Jongin clenches his hands into fists, watches the veins in his arms stand out. He wants a bath. He turns and walks off towards the river, humming to himself as ignoring the tickling of blades of grass against his ankles. Ferns brush over his legs, and Jongin feels comforted. No matter what happens in the tournament, he has his home. He can at least keep this much to himself, these quiet moments of walking alongside the stars and the moon.  
"Show, glow, pretty moon," he sings softly, shaping the words that his grandmother taught him so many sun cycles ago as the happy sounds of the river becomes louder and clearer. "Sing your lullaby." The sky is darkening, orange and purple streaked across the blue expanse. Navy chases the colors to the edge of the horizon as Jongin reaches the river. He peels off his shirt and shorts, dipping his toes into the chill water.  
"Day will end, I'll see you soon," he mutters more than he sinks, slinking out into the current. It's like this, cold and clean from the river, that Jongin can almost forget the weight of the possible future weighing on him.  
"After the sun runs from sky," he continues. He bends his knees, dunking underneath the water. Like this, all he can hear is the rushing of the river, the bubble and crash of it into the rocks.  
"La la la la hm, so sings the moon," Jongin sings softly as he exists the river. "La la la la hm, moon song she sings for you." He imagines his grandmother's voice when she sings the folk song, imagines her awe and reverence of the moon goddess they all worship.  
All except Minseok, it seems. Jongin tips his head back, staring up at the crescent face of the goddess. "Are you even real?" he asks under his breath. "Are you actually an existing thing that gives a damn about us down here?" He doesn't receive an answer, nothing beyond the usual cool of the nighttime breeze kissing his damp skin. He didn't expect a response, and he's almost glad he didn't get one.  
He tugs on his clothes, ignoring the way they darken from the water on his skin. They'll dry soon enough. He shoves his hair back out of his face and starts walking, heading back towards his parents' cabin with his grandmother and her burning juniper.  
He catches himself singing again, the same words that have long since been impressed into his heart. Even with all of his doubt in place, even with his uncertainty and lack of security caused by the looming tournament, he finds his comfort in Minseok's belief in strength and power and the folk song that his grandmother has always sung.  
La la la la hm, so sings the moon. La la la la hm, moon song she sings for you.  
Everything, Jongin tries to convince himself, is going to be okay.  
~*~  
Jongin jolts up from his furs, claws out and teeth bared. He pants hard, his skin dripping with cold sweat. His heart pounds in his chest, and his skin prickles with a presence that should not be around him at this hour of the day. He swipes out blindly, a warning note sitting low in his throat.  
"Jongin!"  
Jongin freezes, forcing his breathing to slow and even out. He knows that voice. He's not being attacked. The upcoming tournament has set his nerves on end, and the slightest stimuli is enough to set him off. The familiar tinge of burned juniper tickles his nose, and Jongin swears under his breath.  
"It's okay," whispers from his left. "Breathe, Jongin. It's okay."  
Jongin follows instructions, breathing in through his nose and evenly out through his mouth. He glances up to the side. Minseok is there, his aura serious but a welcome, steady calm, his hand set on Jongin's upper arm. The pale morning light is streaming through the cracks in the walls, and Jongin allows himself to really calm, to release the tension and adrenaline trapped in his muscles. His hands shake with residual exhaustion from hardly sleeping, but as least Jongin is where he's supposed to be- wrapped up in his furs in his small room in his parents' home.  
"What are you doing here?" Jongin rasps at his mentor, his voice thick with sleep.  
"You need to get up," Minseok tells him, and Jongin flinches away from his touch, bile rising in his throat and the inside of his mouth burns with the taste of blood from his raw nerves.  
His stomach twists.  
"Why?" Jongin inquires even if the answer is already sinking into his mind, carrying trepidation in to color all of his thoughts.  
"It's today," Minseok answers simply, and cold fear, terror of silver-masked future crawls down Jongin's throat and lodges itself in the pit of his stomach. He shivers. "We have to get there soon."  
"Why such rush?" Jongin asks, grabbing for his furs again. He just wants to sleep, to bypass the tournament completely by spending the days of ceremony lost in his dreams.  
Minseok huffs, obviously annoyed and impatient with Jongin's behavior. "You've known this was coming for moons now," his mentor snaps. "Get up. Let's go. The tournament can't start until you're there."  
"Can't I just wait another day then?" Jongin complains. "If I don't show up until tomorrow, then it won't start until tomorrow." Minseok grabs Jongin's arm and all but drags him from his furs, forcing Jongin to stand and wake up. He throws a punch, and Jongin reacts on autopilot, his arm coming up instinctively to block the attack.  
Minseok nods in the dim lighting of Jongin's room. "At least your reflexes are prepared even if you aren't," he sneers. He shoves fabric into Jongin's hands, and the material is sturdy, thicker than any fabric Jongin's ever worn before.  
"From the priests," Minseok says. "Pants. Put them on."  
"Is there something wrong with my usual pants?" Jongin asks, rubbing at his eyes with the backs of his hands. He's tired- he hadn't slept properly last night, too plagued with dreams of being bonded to a Leader who uses him at night and takes over control of the pack during the day, completely taking Jongin away from his duties as Second.  
That's not how the position of Second is supposed to work; the Second is the Leader's other half. The Second is a position of authority within the pack. Their pack doesn't operate like the others that live in territories that run close to their own where alphas take omegas for mates and use them as little more than dolls for sex and pup-rearing. The position of Second is not granted to the most beautiful omega; it is won by the strongest omega.  
Jongin swallows hard. His dream is baseless; the pack would never allow such behavior.  
"Those ones are dyed," Minseok says. "Put them on. Hurry. We have to get Sehun still."  
"Why?" Jongin questions, tripping into the pants. The material is soft and thick, and Jongin tucks on the cloth a little bit, grinning down at it. This won't tear the first time he hits the ground, he realizes. That's excellent.  
It's too dark in Jongin's room for him to distinguish Minseok's features properly, but he's pretty sure Minseok is rolling his eyes and baring his teeth in an impatient manner. "Mentors present their omegas to the priests to start the Sun Ceremonies," Minseok explains. Jongin's fingers fumble with the tie on his pants, and Minseok huffs in annoyance. He knocks Jongin's hands away, pulling the tie on Jongin's pants tight around his hips and knotting it with deft fingers.  
"I can dress myself," Jongin says. Minseok just hands him a leather pouch filled with water.  
"Drink that," he orders. "We need to leave now."  
Jongin allows himself to be pulled from his house, swallowing the water Minseok gave him and only barely managing a wave back towards his home as Minseok leads him into the woods towards Sehun's mother's home. His mother appears in the front of the house in time to wave to Jongin, blowing him a kiss and mouthing 'good luck' at him.  
Jongin isn't sure luck is going to have much to do with this, but he smiles as convincingly as he can at her and walks away with Minseok. His mentor leaves Jongin outside of Sehun's home when they reach it, letting himself in and pulling Sehun out in the same dark red-dyed pants that he'd forced Jongin into.  
Sehun squints at Jongin as he tumbles out of his mother's house, his hair sticking up at odd angles. Jongin runs a subconscious hand through his own hair, checking for any wayward strands. They're meeting all of the returned alphas and betas today, all of the wolves that have been training for just as long as they have. The only difference is those wolves already know whether or not they are Leader or First.  
Now, they return to their home in time to see all of the omegas born in the same sun cycles as them take on a series of tests to prove their strength.  
"Fix your hair," Jongin mumbles, handing the leather pouch over to Sehun. He takes it clumsily, sleep still clouding his vision. His eyebrows are already drawn down in serious line, making him look more awake than he is, but the tired pout on his lips says he's just as nervous and exhausted as Jongin is.  
Sehun drags a hand through his hair, but it doesn't completely calm the mess of sleep-mused hair. Jongin wrinkles his nose and hopes his own hair looks at least marginally better than Sehun's. He briefly considers running his tongue over his hand in order to get his hair to stay out of his face. Maybe should have listened to his grandmother and let his mother cut his hair. He snorts at himself then; is he preening?  
"Thanks," Sehun mumbles, passing the water back to him. Jongin sighs, turning the pouch over and dumping just enough on his palm to wet the skin, yanking Sehun down to his level and smoothing his hand over the wayward strands.  
"Now, you can thank me," Jongin says, and Sehun just nods, mumbling sleepily, leaning on Jongin with an arm over his shoulders.  
Minseok sighs. "You both are more trouble than you're worth."  
"Shush, beta," Sehun tries to snap, but it comes out sluggish. "Some of us aren't morning birds." Jongin can't stop the smile that breaks over his face. Being with Sehun and Minseok like this, tension in the air in preparation for a fight and the camaraderie of training together for suns and moons, is familiar. Jongin loops his arm around Sehun's waist.  
"Morning birds or not," Minseok says. "We have to get you both to the main glade now."  
"Lead the way." Jongin points one finger in the general direction of the glade, and together, Minseok, Sehun and him all traipse towards the rising noise of the pack gathering together. As they walk, the red pants far too flashy for the forest, everyone, wolves and other forest inhabitants alike, seem to make way for them. Even though the sun is out now, the pale blue of dawn brightening the sky, the moon still hovers overhead. Jongin squints up at her.  
They break into the clearing of the glade, and much of the pack is already there. The noise of their chatter rises up around Jongin, filling his ears and cutting through the sense of detachment he had built up during their walk. At the head of the glade standing in front of the boulders where only the Leader, First, and Second have authority to stand, the priests of the moon stand in a line, their shoulders covered by woven shawls dyed a deep blue. The head priestess has her head covered, the wrinkles in her skin diminished by the bright light of day and the wrapping covering her white hair. The magnitude of this situation suddenly hits him, and his grip on Sehun's waist tightens. His fellow omega glances down at him, and Jongin tosses him a reassuring grin that is probably lacking in the 'effectiveness' aspect.  
"It will be fine, Jongin," Sehun assures him, and if Sehun, one of the youngest of the omega candidates, can have such faith that the tournament will go well and end correctly, then Jongin can at least pretend to have the same certainty.  
"Right," he says. "Good luck."  
"To you, too," Sehun murmurs, and then he's removing himself from Jongin's side, pulling away to represent himself. Minseok walks ahead of them a few paces, his shoulders squared. Jongin and Sehun walk side-by-side, a forearm’s length between them. It feels very formal, and the cheers only get louder as more and more pack members arrive and Minseok leads them to the middle of the glade. He steps into place in a line with the other mentors, and Jongin and Sehun fall into place beside the other omegas.  
This is the first time Jongin has seen them all gathered in one place. They've been kept isolated from each other for most of their lives, but some of them he recognizes immediately. At one end of the line, standing tall and broad shouldered, is Chanyeol. He's the top choice for the next Second among the mentors, and Jongin can see why easily. His resemblance to his grandfather, the First, is uncanny. Taehyung stands only two people away from Jongin, and when he catches Jongin looking, he winks at him. On the opposite side of Taehyung, an omega Jongin would be a fool to not know rolls her eyes.  
Seulgi, another grandchild of the First. He hasn't met her in person before, but there's no mistaking the triple-lined scar that runs the length of her arm. Everyone knows the story of her run-in with a bear. He doesn't know where the scar ends, the bindings wrapped around her chest and over her shoulders covering it.  
Next to him, his smile curled and eyes bright, is Jongdae. It's been a long time since they've seen each other, but Jongin will never forget the trouble the two of them used to get up to. He manages to return Jongdae's smile with a tight one of his own. He hopes it doesn't look too much like a grimace.  
"Quiet!" is yelled out across the glade, the tone commanding and familiar. Jongin looks up. Ahead of them, standing on the pile-up of boulders at the head of the glade, is Leader, her long hair swirling around her in the morning breeze. The last time he'd seen her, Jongin had been in the midst of a spar with Sehun. Her presence had made the whole fight seem heavier, the full weight of her gaze seemingly settled on Jongin's shoulders.  
"Good morning, welcome all," Leader begins. She pushes strands of gray away from her face, and her eyes are just as piercing as Jongin remembers them. "Today begins the final days of my leadership over this pack. It has been an honor." She bows then, deeply, and the rest of the pack bends immediately to return to the gesture. The priests do not move. They've dedicated their lives to the moon, and though they follow Leader's direction without orders, they bow to none but the moon goddess herself.  
When Leader straightens, she holds out a hand to her mate, and Second climbs up next to her. Their arms fall naturally around each other's waists. Second's short hair shows the missing tip of her ear, the thick scar that runs from her temple to her neck. Despite that, she's still delicately beautiful. Jongin is almost certain she could still tear him to shreds in a fight even with her sixty sun cycles of age.  
"This is a trying time for the pack," Leader continues. "We are all gathered in one place after suns of separation for our omegas and betas and alphas who have been training in order to make this pack at powerful as it can be." She dips her head to Jongin and to the other omegas standing in line beside him. Jongin bites his lip, and Jongdae murmurs something about 'intimidation' at Jongin's side.  
"But we are also weak as leadership shifts from my hands to the those of your new Leader." She gestures back towards the oldest cabin on the territory where the Leader and Second live. The new Leader is there now, hidden from sight and scent, blessed already by the priests of the moon by her blessing. None of the omegas know the person; and the winner of this tournament will be the one to find out who it is first. It's good incentive to win, Jongin supposes. Being mated to the most powerful alpha of the pack sounds deliciously excellent to almost all omegas ears.  
"I assure you I am passing the mantle of Leader from my hands into hands more capable than mine," Leader says, soothing. "Powerful hands that will protect this pack." Her gaze focuses on the omegas again, and Jongin can feel her eyes rake over him. He shivers where he stands. "And that power will be supplemented by that of the omega that takes the position of Second." Leader quiets then, and Second takes a step forward. Her smile is bright; her eyes are bright. She looks lighter than Jongin has ever seen her.  
She's ready to step down, he realizes. He glances up at the moon again, but he doesn't find any comfort there.  
"The tournament will consist of three tests," Second says. "Though these tests are not difficult in nature, they will find the most capable of you that stand before me." She laughs a little, a light sounds that eases the tension in Jongin's neck. "I know, among this lot, stands someone whom the moon has selected to stand at the side of your new Leader."  
She dips her gaze then, and once again, Jongin feels scrutinized. Sehun's fingers brush his arm briefly, and Jongin is grateful for the comfort.  
"Before we meet our omegas and introduce them to the pack, let us reintroduce the alphas and betas who have stayed away for moon after moon." Second holds out her hand, and from around the back of the boulders, First steps out. He's so tall, his jovial smile dampened by his intimidating stature. Walking behind him in an even line, their footsteps falling into the prints of the wolf ahead of him, a line of alphas and betas steps into the glad across from the mentors and omegas. In their jaws, each one carries a pair of dyed-purple pants.  
There's a murmuring from the pack, the voices of parents and friends and family rising in excitement as their children or brothers or sisters return to them.  
First stands tall, and Jongin notices Chanyeol fidgeting at the other end of the line out of the corner of his eye. "These young alphas and betas are members of this pack," First says. "They will take a little bit of time to assimilate to the culture of this place, but please welcome them as working members of this pack." He nods, and the line of alphas and betas, about thirteen in total, shift.  
Watching an alpha or a beta change is no different from watching an omega change, but Jongin is fascinated anyway, attention rapt as dark fur becomes skin. Some of them shift more gracefully than others, and some stumble into their pants with pink cheeks and a haste that is almost cute.  
At his side, he hears Jongdae gasp, and Jongin turns immediately. Jongdae's gaze is focused forward, his cheeks pink. He licks his bottom lip, and Jongin can't believe they're standing at the ready for the tournament that will decide their fate in this pack and Jongdae is busy lusting over one of the newly returned wolves. He follows Jongdae's line of vision, and his own breathing pauses for a moment.  
Oh. The alpha Jongdae is focused on is undoubtedly beautiful, her features distinct, shoulders squared and stomach defined even with her tiny waist. The purple pants hang low on her hips, and her eyes are dark. If Jongin didn't know better, he'd say the alpha's eyes are focused on Jongdae just as much as Jongdae's are focused on her.  
"Your new First," First continues, and the alpha that has caught Jongdae's attention steps forward.  
"First," Jongin hears Jongdae breathe.  
"Don't get attached," Jongin hisses under his breath. "You're not exactly an available option right now." Jongdae throws him a sidelong glance.  
"Keeping my options open," he retorts. "Who knows what the moon goddess has planned?" Jongin clenches his teeth. He wants to scream and ask if the moon goddess even cares, because surely, if she did, she wouldn't put all of them through this nerve-wracking event. She would just choose by shining a moonbeam on her chosen omega, Jongin thinks bitterly.  
"Introduce yourself," First urges the alpha, and the new First bows.  
"I am Seungwan," she says, her voice gentler than what Jongin expected, but she still commands attention with her presence. "I am First." The pack bows again, and the First that Jongin has known all his life, bows to Seungwan as well.  
"I step down from my place as First at this moment," he says. "I will respond solely to my given name. Chanhyuk." He steps away from the other alphas and betas in the line, turning to merge with the rest of the pack members who have gathered. He has no more authority with the pack as of now, and Seungwan, the new First, swallows, her eyes sweeping over all of them.  
"I will serve you well," she promises. Seungwan turns to the alphas and betas she spent cycles training with, nodding to them. "Take your place in the pack." Every one of them follows in Chanhyuk's footsteps, walking into the pack to a rising chorus of cheers. Jongin watches the way they organize themselves, taking note of who holds what rank of unspoken power within the group. The first to walk away to greet her family is the only other female among them, and Jongin knows her instantly as Juhyeon. A very handsome alpha with shoulders near the width of a river turns and moves back towards the rocks, and the happy tears on the Second's face give away exactly who he is.  
So that, Jongin thinks, is Seokjin, the Leader and Second’s youngest son. He swallows. If that man, that alpha, was surpassed for the position of Leader, Jongin wonders exactly what type of alpha, how broad and how fierce, how powerful, they've selected to be the new Leader.  
Seungwan then turns and climbs the boulders to stand with Leader and Second. She looks odd standing with them, her skin mostly unmarred, her face young and demeanor commanding even if a bit nervous. Leader and Second are forty sun cycles older than she is, their hair white and skin decorated with scars.  
"Now that our pack is whole, I turn this over to our priests," Leader announces. "The tournament will continue as they direct." She places a hand on First's shoulder, and Seungwan nods at her. She is the head power of the pack currently, Leader and Second phasing out as the tournament commences. As Leader and Second descend to greet their son, pulling him into a tight embrace, First stays standing up on the rocks, watching everything around her.  
"She's so beautiful," Jongdae whispers with just a hint of longing in his voice.  
"You haven't even met her yet," Jongin says. "She could be a total fuck."  
"I'd fuck her," Jongdae says, nonchalant, completely ignoring Jongin's meaning, and Jongin has to swallow to bit back an annoyed growl.  
"Children of my goddess the moon," the head priestess begins, and her voice is far too smooth for someone of her age. Her eyes almost seem to glow silver. "We have gathered under the blessing of our goddess to decide the new Second for our great pack." Her words are practiced, ritual words. Jongin's skin buzzes.  
"After a series of test, the wisest and strongest of our candidates will be revealed to us, and it is that omega who will take the honor of being Second." Take, she had said, and Jongin feels a twist of anger. There isn't even an option to decline. He's always known this, but hearing it still sets him on edge.  
"Mentors, please introduce the omegas chosen by our goddess." Jongin doesn't miss the way Minseok's shoulders shake with a short laugh of incredulity as he turns to face Sehun and Jongin.  
"These are Sehun and Jongin," he says loud and clear for the whole pack to hear his words and know their names. He points at each of them, and he winks at Jongin before he says the next words. "Chosen by the moon."  
There are slight cheers, and Jongin thinks he makes out his mother's voice in the mix. Minseok turns back around, facing the priests, and the mentor beside him turns then to introduce the omegas she had trained.  
"These are Jongdae and Namjoon," she says. "Chosen by the moon." It continues on down the line, Taehyung and Seulgi, Jimin and Taemin, down the line with the same repetition of words until Jongin hears Chanyeol's name and hears the roar of the pack. He's clearly favoured; Jongin bitterly hopes that the moon favors Chanyeol too.  
"Mentors," the head priestess continues. "You may return to the pack." Minseok throws Sehun and Jongin a look, his lips forming a wish for luck, and then it's all the omegas in a line on display for the pack. Jongin has never hated the idea of the tournament more than he hates it right now. He feels like he's some sort of prize, like he's on display to win himself. He scrunches his toes in the grass.  
"The first test begins now," the head priestess announces. "A race from here to the edges of the mountains to the edge of the forest and back." Jongin wishes he'd had more water to drink. That's a long run but not so long that it can't be done at nearly a full sprint. Exhaustion at just the thought of the challenge seeps into his bones, and Jongin rolls his shoulders back, hoping to ease it. Butterflies take wing in his stomach. "Anyone who does not run the required path will be removed from the tournament," the head priestess warns. She steps down from the head of the glade and moves to walk to the opposite end. The pack parts for her, and the omegas follow her, reforming their line at the opposite end of the glade, facing out towards the mountains.  
"The moon goddess is watching," the head priestess says. She holds up her hands. "All omega candidates, please shift." Jongin doesn't waste a second. He steps out of his pants, folding them neatly and placing them on the ground at his feet. He takes deep breath and falls forward, landing on the ground with four paws instead of two feet. He glances down the line, looking at the coloring of the omegas around him. Taehyung's nearly white fur and Sehun's slate gray are a comfort. Jongdae, small and wiry, is nearly the color of night, and his teeth gleam.  
Chanyeol is huge, his russet fur gleaming in the morning light. Jongin shakes himself. He's not going to worry; he's just going to let everything happen as it's bound to happen.  
"Goddess," the head priestess calls out, her hands still raised. "Our pack does not need a leader too slow to escape the clutches of an enemy, nor do we need a leader too slow to reach the pack members who call for help. Please speed the paws of these candidates who run, and allow the fastest, the surest of foot, to be made clear."  
Jongin breathes, staring ahead of him. He can't see the mountains through the trees right now, but he knows where they are. He's run this route before. Everything around him slowly fades away, and the head priestess drops her arms.  
Jongin moves.  
His paws fly over the ground, his blood rushing thunderous in his ears. He pants, forcing himself to hold of from a full-fledged sprint, but not letting himself slow to an easy run either. He runs, keeping his breathing even, focusing on his footsteps. He tries to avoid seeing the other runners; they're not about to attack him, and therefore they’re out of his range of care. All they're doing is running. He does not need to watch his back right now.  
Jongin stares ahead, watching the mountains come into view through the trees, feeling the ground change into a slight incline as he races forward. A bark of happiness resonates in his ears when his paws touch the first low rocks of the mountain, and the treeline is only a few more paces uphill. His muscles burn, but still he runs upward until he steps out onto sunlit rocks and ferns. There are no trees here, and for a moment, Jongin considers continuing up the mountain and disappearing over the edge to never return.  
He loves this forest though. He loves his pack.  
Jongin turns and races back the other direction, heart pounding and tongue dry from his heavy breathing as he surges back towards the glade.  
A flash of black barrels past him, and Jongin only just barely manages to make out Jongdae before the other wolf is gone from sight. So Jongin wasn't the only wolf holding back just a bit, but Jongdae was really holding back. Jongin tears after him, but he can't catch him. He doesn't understand how anyone can move his legs at such a blinding speed, but Jongdae, apparently, can.  
Jongin is tired, his heart threatens to burst from his chest, to break through his ribcage. He just want to stop, to breathe, to drink water. Still he keeps running, and the moment the glade comes into view, Jongin's focus widens just enough for him to make out Chanyeol loping along beside him. Behind him he can hear smaller paws, and he isn't sure which of the other omegas is right on his tail, but he doesn't have time to look.  
Chanyeol races at Jongin’s same pace, and Jongin wishes he'd let himself go at the beginning of the race. He could be the clear second place (because obviously no one was capable enough to beat Jongdae), but now he's racing along with Chanyeol, neither one able to pull ahead.  
They burst into the glade together, paws stepping in time with each other. They've made it; they're back. Jongin sinks his claws into the ground to slow himself, coming to a halt in front of an already human and dressed Jongdae. The omega pats Jongin's head.  
"You're fast," he says. Jongin snorts, nipping at Jongdae's wrist. The message is clear: not as fast as you.  
Around him, the roar of the pack cheering renews his energy, and he listens for a moment to find his mother's voice, to find his father's voice. They're yelling for him, excited for him. He turns then to walk back to his pants, shifting into human skin and pulling the red cloth back over his legs. He catches Seulgi wrapping the bindings back around her chest, and the start of her scar at the back of her neck is visible for only a moment. So it's she who came in fourth behind him and Chanyeol.  
“Good race,” stops Jongin in his tracks of walking back to his place in line. He turns and then looks up to see Chanyeol there. The omega’s voice is deep, effortlessly authoritative. Jongin isn’t sure there exists any reason why Chanyeol shouldn’t be Second. In terms of strength, he seems to have that in spades.  
“You too,” Jongin says, trying not to pitch his voice lower intentionally.  
“The red in your fur,” Chanyeol continues. “You look like a part of the forest.”  
“The clay,” Jongin responds, trailing out. This feels awkward, like some sort of stand-off. Jongin coughs. “Um. Good luck with the next test then.”  
Chanyeol nods. “Goddess bless you.” He reaches out and tentatively pats Jongin’s shoulder, and though they’re not friends, not really anymore, there’s a sort of comfort to the act despite the awkwardness.  
“Yeah,” he says. “And you.”  
As the omegas arrive, panting, they all return to stand in their line. Jongdae's eyes keep straying up to the First where she stands on the outcropping of rock, and Jongin nudges him.  
"I didn't realize you can run twice as fast as any other wolf here," he says just for conversation as they wait for the others to make it back.  
"It's about my only talent," Jongdae murmurs to him. "Mum says I was always outrunning everything. This is the first race where I actually got to see how much faster I am." His eyes are bright, his cheeks still flushed with adrenaline. Jongin runs a hand through his own hair. He feels windswept; looking at how Jongdae's hair is a complete mess on his head, Jongin looks windswept too.  
"Do you want to win?" Jongin asks. Jongdae just shrugs.  
"I want the First," he answers. "Not the Second." A bad innuendo if Jongin's ever heard one, but he knows what Jongdae means.  
"And if you win?" he prompts.  
Jongdae shrugs again. "Then that's what the moon wants." He looks down at his feet. "I don't really have a say in it." It strikes Jongin then. All of them are trapped into this tournament. None of them are here because they want to be Second. Mostly likely all of them would rather live in one of the stories Jongin's grandmother tells than be forced into these tests of expectations. Jongin sighs.  
"What about you?" Jongdae asks. Jongin just stares down at the back of the glade, watching the slowest of their small group of twelve omegas return. "Do you want to be Second?"  
"I just want what's best for our pack," Jongin says automatically. Jongdae's fingers are gentle on his shoulder.  
"Careful talking like that then," he murmurs. "You sound like Second already."  
His words strike deep into Jongin's heart, cracking over his skin. Maybe that's why Minseok has always had such faith in him, why his parents have such hope for him. Maybe he acts the way that Second should act.  
He swallows thickly, and his mouth tastes like blood. If fate and the moon are really at play here, is Jongin already doomed to forever be seen as a good candidate for Second? Even if someone else wins, will Jongin ever really be free of this fear of a loveless life?  
The last omega, fur a gorgeous brown, steps back into the glade, limping. The head priestess tuts at him, and she gestures for another of the priests to come over and tend to the injured wolf.  
"Taemin," Taehyung says just loud enough for Jongin to hear. He glances over at his cousin. "He doesn't want this at all. He's not made for being Second." Jongin thinks about breaking something too just to get out of this. The desire to forfeit, however, is not really there.  
"Welcome back," the head priestess says, and instantly the pack quiets. "Our goddess has blessed this race, the first trial, and now, we let those who she has not deemed worthy of the position of Second rest." She holds out her hands, palms facing up, and her eyes still look silver.  
"The goddess has blessed omega Jongdae with the gift of running," the high priestess says. "He will continue on in the tournament." A round of cheers follows this, and Jongdae steps out of line to take the priestesses hands. "Congratulations, omega," the priestess murmurs, and Jongdae bows his head to her before he returns to the line.  
"The goddess has blessed omega Chanyeol and omega Jongin with speed and sureness of foot, and we welcome them to continue the tournament." Jongin feels inexplicably cold at the sound of his name, and he glances over to see Chanyeol staring at him. Together they step forward and take the priestesses hands. "Congratulations, omegas," the old wolf says, and Jongin dips his head. This close he can catch the scent of the priestess. A beta, scent tainted with juniper, but the strength that she emits does not feel like one.  
Seulgi is called forward next, and the cheers sound again. She's beautiful; Jongin would have to be blind to not see that. She would make an excellent Second.  
After her, Taehyung and Yixing are called, followed by Jimin and Namjoon. The last name is Sehun, and Jongin smiles at that. Jongin commits their names and faces to memory. It's these wolves who could be the next second. The other three who raced are not called, and the head priestess calls blessing on them from the moon before she dismisses them to rejoin the pack. The envy Jongin feels at seeing the relief on their faces sickens him, and he stares at his feet and the dirt on his skin to distract himself.  
"The next test will commence when the sun reaches its highest point," the head priestess announces. "Omegas, you may speak with each other and with your mentors and with any members of authority who wish to talk to you. That is all." She sweeps away then, striding into the large hut built at the side of the glade where the priests work and practice their medicines. Jongin watches her go, his breathing finally slowing to a resting speed.  
"I wonder what's next," Sehun mumbles next to Jongin.  
Jongin shakes his head. "Sparring, maybe?" he suggests. "I haven't seen or been in this tournament before. None of us have." Sehun sighs.  
"I was slow," he says. "They should have just cut me from the competition then."  
Jongin grabs Sehun's hand. "They've got this thing set up in some specific way," he says. "Don't fret too much. Like you told me, everything will work out, right?"  
"Right," Sehun agrees, but he just sounds tired. Jongin is tired too. The run was long and hard. If he thought it was appropriate, he would curl up in the grass here and take a nap. Behind him, he hears Taehyung squeal a little bit, and Jongin whips around.  
"What?" he demands. Taehyung throws him a secret little grin.  
"First is coming down," Taehyung says, and sure enough, Seungwan is stepping down the rocks, heading into the clearing of the glade where the omegas are all standing around. Jongin glances back at Sehun.  
"Is Minseok coming over?"  
His fellow omega straightens up, staring around the assembled pack members. Some of them are leaving, heading home to eat or rest before the next part of the tournament. Jongin really wishes he could join them.  
"Yes," Sehun says. "Do you want to speak to him first?"  
Jongin shrugs. "You can." He doesn't really give Sehun an option other than that, moving over to Taehyung as First walks up to him.  
"Hello," First greets Jongin's cousin. Jongin steps into place beside his cousin.  
"First," Taehyung says, dipping his head. "Congratulations on your appointment." Jongin follows suit, murmuring Seungwan's title.  
"Oh, I know you," Seungwan says, and Jongin is startled to see the First's eyes on him.  
"You do?" he asks. He's pretty sure he's never seen the alpha before this moment.  
"Your mentor told me to watch you," she says. "Minseok. He said 'the one named Jongin. Watch him.’"  
"Haven't looked at anyone else at all?" speaks up from Jongin's side, and Jongdae is suddenly there, his smile pretty and eyelashes fluttering. Jongin sniffs, the only disapproval he can bring himself to show.  
"I might have strayed a few times, I admit," First says, and her voice dips and slows, looking at Jongdae. Seungwan’s eyes are dark, and Jongin looks back and forth between the First and his fellow omega candidate. Something seems to pass between them, and Jongin instantly labels it as nothing but lust.  
He can't blame Jongdae; the First is gorgeous. She's a strong wolf too, as is evident by her position. But still, Jongdae is first in the running for becoming Second right now. He shouldn't be flirting with the First of their pack; he shouldn't be looking at anyone.  
"You are very fast," First says to Jongdae, and the omega hums.  
"Yes," Jongdae agrees. "I'm quite difficult to catch."  
Jongin thinks he might throw up.  
Taehyung grabs him, leading him away from the First and Jongdae back towards where Minseok was talking with Sehun.  
"The moon won't let anything happen that isn't supposed to," Taehyung tells him. "Don't worry so much."  
"He won the race!" Jongin argues. "He's winning for the position of Second. And he's-"  
"Jongin," Taehyung interrupts him. "The race is only one of three tests. Everything will be fine."  
"I'm really sick of hearing that," Jongin mutters.  
"Jongin," speaks before Taehyung can formulate a response, and his cousin lets go of his arm, making some excuse about his mentor and water before he scampers off. "You did well," Minseok praises.  
"I did a little better than 'well,'" Jongin sniffs. "I came in second."  
"Third, really," Minseok argues. "The call might have been a tie, but somebody has to take third place."  
Jongin really wants to stomp his foot. "And why can't Chanyeol take third?" he demands. "We ran in at the same time."  
"Because he's favored by the pack," Minseok answers. "And it shouldn't matter to you after how many times you've complained about becoming Second."  
Jongin's mouth snaps shut. That is an excellent point. Everything will work out as it should. As tired as Jongin is of hearing that repeated over and over, it's the only thing he can cling to right now.  
"I can't tell you about the tests," Minseok is saying, and Jongin blinks slowly to clue himself back in. "But I can tell you that Jongdae isn't going to stay in first place for very long."  
Jongin picks at his thumb nail. "How do you know?"  
"Trust me," Minseok requests, and Jongin figures that while he's stuck in the midst of this tournament, he has nothing to lose by placing a little bit more faith in his mentor’s words.  
~*~  
The grass in the glade is dry by the time everyone has gathered again. The sun beats down on Jongin's back, and he's grateful for every bit of water he can get his hands on. He licks his lips yet again, plopping down in the grass of the glade. His skin is starting to tan in this light, and he flops back onto his back, sighing at the slight cool of the greenery.  
"I would kill for a swim in the river right now," Taehyung groans, flopping down next to Jongin. Jongin mumbles, his tongue too thick in his mouth to properly reply. He wonders if this, laying around and thirsting for water and burning up under the sun, is actually a test that the head priestess forgot to mention. They said three tests total; the omegas could theoretically be in the middle of one right now.  
"I think that was an agreement, but mumble once for yes and twice for 'go away, Taehyung,'" Jongin's cousin jokes. Jongin licks his lips.  
"I'm just thirsty," he manages. He can sense Taehyung's humor before he actually says anything.  
"Like how Jongdae is for the First right now?" Taehyung teases. Jongin would choke on his spit if he had any spit to choke on, instead he just takes in a mouthful of air that's far too dry on his throat and rolls over on his stomach as he coughs. Taehyung leans over and pats his back lightly, not letting his fingers linger long enough for the heat to sink into Jongin's skin.  
"Fuck, it's hot," Jongin mutters, shrugging Taehyung's hand away. "Isn't is supposed to be spring?"  
"It is spring," Taehyung tells him. "It's just unseasonably warm today."  
"Scorching," Jongin argues. It's high noon right now, the sun about as high overhead as it can get. Even still, the moon shows her face in the blue sky, and Jongin contemplates cursing the goddess out. He wants to ask her if roasting the members of her pack alive is part of her plan to decide the strongest of them. If that's the case, Jongin is going to just melt into nothing but steam.  
"The mentors went to go get more water for us," Taehyung says with a note of urgency. He's thirsty too, and when Jongin glances at the other seven omegas waiting around for the next part of the test, all of them are licking their lips or chewing on their gums to try to get some moisture in their mouths.  
"Thank fuck," Jongin sighs. He flops back onto his back, throwing an arm over his face to stop the horrible glare of the sun.  
"Careful with your language," Taehyung hisses as him. Jongin startles, sitting up to meet his cousin's eyes. The other omega jerks his head back towards the cabin where the priests are exiting again. Some of them now have their shawls tied around their waists or twisted in their hair instead of wound around their necks. Jongin can't blame them; the day really is too hot.  
"I don't care if they hear me curse," Jongin says. He would never say that if he weren't so irritable with the heat and the thirst bothering him, and Taehyung seems to know that, judging by the way he sticks his tongue out at Jongin.  
"You don't mean that," he says. He breaks into a smile then and scrambles to his feet. Jongin looks up too, and he feels his dry lips stretch in the same square smile that Taehyung wears. Stepping through the throngs of pack members waiting around for the next test to start with bowls of water in their hands are the mentors of the omegas still involved in the tournament.  
Jongin considers crying with relief when Minseok comes to a half in front of him, helping Jongin lift the large dish to his lips.  
"Slow, Jongin," Minseok warns. "Careful. You have time. Slow." Jongin tries to drink slower, but it's a losing battle with himself until Minseok untips the bowl, turning around with it and passing it into Sehun's hands when the omega sits down across from Jongin.  
"You're going to give yourself cramps if you drink too much," Minseok warns. Even though he's looking at Sehun, Jongin feels like he's giving him a slight reprimand for not heeding his warning. Jongin just shrugs.  
"We've been out here for hours now," he complains. "It's high noon. All of us are ready to start the next test."  
Minseok sets the bowl on the ground, and Sehun thanks him before he wanders away, going back to whatever conversation he'd been caught in before. "They were waiting for all the noise to calm a bit," he says. "And for all of you to get water."  
"They should have thought of that beforehand," Jongin says. "They could have had water waiting for us when we got back from the race." Minseok's hand connects hard with Jongin's shoulder, and Jongin yelps, grabbing the affected skin and glaring at Minseok.  
"Be grateful you even got water," Minseok tells him, voice stern. "They have a ritual, a ceremony, to follow. It's not the fault of the priests."  
"I thought you don't believe in that stuff," Jongin whispers. Minseok shrugs.  
"I don't," he agrees. "But they do." He gestures towards the priests where they're spreading out again, holding back the crowd. Someone rushes past Jongin, and he sees, after a moment of blinking to clear his head, that it's Seungwan. First heads back to the outcropping of rock, climbing up to take her position watching over the proceedings, and Jongin turns in time to see Jongdae licks his lips in a way that does not imply he needs water.  
Jongin rolls his eyes, and Minseok bursts out laughing beside him.  
"You seem very bothered," he says, nudging Jongin.  
Jongin wrinkles his nose. "I'm bothered when you and Changmin get handsy. This is not any different."  
"Brat," Minseok says.  
"Careful," Jongin says. "You don't know exactly what type of omega you're talking to."  
Minseok gives him the most unimpressed look. "I do," he insists. "And he's a brat."  
"Beta!" Jongin whines, shoving at Minseok.  
"Quiet!" the head priestess calls out, voice still so smooth for her age. "The sun has reached its highest point, and the time for the next test to begin has come." The hush that follows her words sets Jongin on edge. What will this test be? Will they be fighting each other? Will they-?  
"Omegas, please line up," the head priestess requests, and Jongin pushes himself to his feet. Minseok whispers a word of encouragement before he walks away to rejoin the pack spectating.  
"The first test determined the speed of the omegas chosen by the moon," the head priestess begins, and Jongin is beginning to wonder how many time the head priestess can say the same phrases about the moon before he decides to rip his own ears off. "This next test will determine who can provide for the pack. As we all know, families hunt for themselves here, but those who are too sick or too young or too old to provide for themselves, are provided for by hunting parties that go out every day. Our new Second must be able to provide for those who need the assistance."  
Jongin shifts his weight from foot to foot. This test is a hunt. Jongin knows how to hunt. He knows how to work the fields too, but that's basic knowledge that every wolf in this pack needs to have.  
"From now until dusk, our candidates will hunt," the head priestess says. "The greatest kill will determine the winner." Jongin swallows. 'Greatest kill' could mean greatest quantity or it could mean most impressive quality.  
"Whatever is brought back will be served to the pack during the feast tonight to celebrate the return of our pack members and the appointment of our First." The head priestess raises her arms, and the sun is blinding in Jongin's eyes. "You may shift," she says, and Jongin does, stripping out of his pants before invoking his wolf form, settling on the dry grass on all fours.  
The sun feels even worse on his fur, and Jongin pants. He can't wait for the head priestess to drop her arms and send them all off into the forest where there's shade.  
"May the goddess bring us prosperity and bless this hunt," the head priestess murmurs, and then her arms drop.  
Unlike the race, none of the omegas take off immediately. Like Jongin himself, they all stand around, tasting the air, checking for which direction will yield the best results. Some take off towards the eastern border where there is always something, but Jongin keeps waiting. He catches the northern wind at the same moment Chanyeol and Taehyung do, their ears perking up. Jongin turns then, and the assembled members of the pack part for him to pass, nose and belly already low to the ground.  
He walks as quietly as he can, grateful that Chanyeol and Taehyung seem to have had the sense to stay away from him. This isn't a group hunting activity, which bothers Jongin at a core level. They're wolves; they've always hunted in packs. They hunt to eat, but this feels a bit like hunting for sport even with the promise of a feast tonight.  
Jongin wanders around the forest on silent paws for awhile, measuring his breathing and his speed. He thinks through the head priestess' words over and over again, wondering if she means for them to bring back a large quantity or high quality. He has a feeling it's the former because without a hunting party around him, Jongin can't bring down most of the large game by himself.  
Even if Jongin were to have luck and his side, he can't drag anything much larger than himself back to the glade alone, and none of the other competing wolves are going to want to help him drag in any large catch and lose time for their own hunts.  
With that in mind, Jongin puts his nose to the ground. There are usually beavers or hares in this area, and Jongin just needs to be patient and alert. He wanders in circles for awhile, keeping himself out of sight and downwind of anything that might be hiding in this area.  
When he hears the unmistakable snap of a hoof cracking through a dead branch, Jongin ducks low immediately, creeping forward. A hoof snapping a branch is not going to be the fault of a beaver or a hare, and Jongin hopes he hasn't just found an elk. He doesn't want to face that by himself, and only one snapped twig doesn't give him enough information to tell if the animal's herd is around here too.  
Jongin crawls forward a few more paces, watching and listening for anything else. The wind is mostly still today, and with his shift in position, it makes it very difficult for Jongin to figure out if he's upwind or downwind of the area he's trying to hunt.  
He talks through the lyrics of his grandmother's favorite folk song in his head to calm himself, to make himself wait another few minutes. He's told countless pups the importance of patience enough times to hear the echoes of his own words in his ears. He needs to practice what he preaches, so Jongin adopts a mantra of 'wait, wait, wait,' repeating it over and over again as he slides forward on his belly, careful to not cause any noise.  
Sure enough, brown fur and a set of antlers that looks far too small for an elk emerge from between the trees. A young buck. Jongin glances over the buck, unable to believe his luck. The buck's hind leg is lifted ever so slightly off the ground, its hoof broken down the middle.  
If this were a pack hunt, Jongin would howl a signal for his fellow hunters and dive in without hesitation. However, right now, this is not a pack hunt. This is a test, and Jongin has a significantly lower chance of killing this deer simply because he is alone.  
Wait, wait, wait, he breathes over and over in his head. The fastest way to kill prey has been drilled into Jongin's head since he was old enough to crawl- go for the neck. If this deer bolts, Jongin won't have a chance to get close enough to its neck, and if it decides to hold its ground, then the antlers are extremely intimidating.  
He waits, letting out his claws. The buck looks around for moment, scanning the area, and Jongin holds himself as still as he can and hopes the red in his fur is blending into the ground. The deer then turns, bending its head to the ground and leaving its back facing Jongin.  
Jongin doesn't wait another moment. He darts forward, and he leaps at the same time the buck looks up. It's over quickly, Jongin slamming into the deer's back and clamping his teeth over the back of its neck, biting down as hard as he can. The taste of the deer's blood and the grit caught in its fur is nearly identical to the taste of success, and Jongin does not release his grip until the buck falls to the ground, dragging Jongin down with it.  
Jongin gets to his paws carefully, sliding out from underneath the deer. The animal's hind leg with the split hoof twitches, and Jongin snaps down hard on its neck again to put it out of its misery.  
Success. It was almost too easy, too lucky, but when Jongin turns to look at how far away from the glade he is, he thinks maybe this wasn't luck at all. Though the sun is still high in the sky, he only has until the light dims and the sky is streaked with orange to return to the glade with his kill. This time of the season, the sun drops quickly, and Jongin doesn't have as much time as it seems looking at the sun.  
He snorts, wiping a paw over his nose before he leans down and clamps his teeth around one of the duck's antlers and digs his claws into the ground. His muscles complain, but Jongin just adjusts his grip on the buck's antlers before dragging it backwards.  
It's not a particularly graceful way to move the animal, but there is really nothing else for it. If he had another wolf with him, he could shift back and carry the thing with human arms. He growls as he tugs the buck back with him, his back protesting and jaw beginning to ache as the shadows lengthen around him.  
His heart is beating too fast, anxiety as his time to be out draws to a close dragging fear down his spine. He tries to pull the buck along faster, but he's just too tired to really move any quicker than his current speed. He pants harshly around the buck's antler, annoyed with how often he backs off course the slightest bit, adding onto his travel time.  
Jongin feels like his teeth are about to rip right out of his jaw by the time he hears the rumble of the impatient and excited pack waiting for the return of all of the competing omegas. When the glade comes into view, the sky is streaked orange, and Jongin can hear the head priestess' voice.  
"Dusk has arrived," she's saying over the disgruntled murmur of the crowd. "One of our candidates has not yet arrived, but we must honor the rules we have set. Dusk is here, so we will now compare the success of the hunts that each omega was sent on." Jongin is ride at the top of the crest of the glade, and a few of the pack members turn around to look at him, recognition lighting up in their eyes as they begin to shout.  
"Quiet!" the head priestess calls out, and Jongin does the only thing he can think of to gain her attention. He throws his head back and howls.  
The response is instantaneous. The pack and the omega candidates standing in front of their small piles of game all turn to look at him, and Jongin grabs the buck again, dragging it across the ground towards the middle of the glade and his place in line. An excited gaggle of voices surrounds him as the pack steps aside to allow him to pass with the buck still sliding along the ground behind him. He drops it once he's made it to his place in between Sehun and Jongdae, and everything seems to hold still for a moment.  
Jongin shifts into his human form, grabbing his pants and pulling them on.  
"I arrived just as dusk came in," he tells the head priestess, bowing his head to her. "Please forgive me."  
The head priestess stares at his kill with wide eyes and coughs. She calls for quiet again.  
"Jongin has returned," she announces. "Let us begin the comparison of each kill." She moves towards the other end of the line, starting with Chanyeol. The omega has a sizable pile of kill in front of him, mostly beavers and hares like Jongin had originally intended to hunt down. He's done well, and Jongin can tell the head priestess is pleased with the omega's performance.  
Jongin bends down, resting his hands on his knees as he pants. His arms shake with the tiredness in his back.  
"Fuck," Sehun says next to him, leaning over to rest a hand on Jongin's waist, supporting him as he sways. "How the fuck did you manage this?" Jongin shakes his head once.  
"Dumb luck, probably," Jongin answers. The crowd begins to cheer, and the head priestess calls for silence again as she moves on to describe the next omega in line's success. "I found it limping. Herd already gone."  
"Oh," Sehun says. "Its hoof." Jongin nods.  
"Yeah. Like I said. Dumb luck."  
"Or a sign," Sehun murmurs, and Jongin elects to not respond to that.  
The head priest is describing Jongdae's kill to the pack now, his fat hare and pheasant a good contribution, but nothing extraordinary.  
"And now Jongin," the priestess says. "Has returned to us with a buck." The cheers that go up are deafening, and Jongin trembles with exhaustion and excitement where he stands. "Although he was almost late, such a feat cannot go unmentioned." Jongin simply breathes.  
"The moon goddess has blessed his hunt," the head priestess says. And that is all she says about Jongin, moving on to praise the two hares and the beaver Sehun had caught.  
"The moon goddess will choose which hunter she deems the most worthy of winning this challenge," the head priestess says, and she holds out a small pouch for Sehun to reach into. "Each omega will pick a marked piece of wood from this bag," she explains, and she offers the pouch to Jongin. He reaches in, grabbing one of the small carved pieces. She moves down the line. "I will then draw one from the bag after I have recollected each piece." Jongin peers down the line, watching Chanyeol take his pick of a chip from the bag. The head priestess watches him for a moment before she holds out the pouch again, and Chanyeol drops the small chip back inside.  
Jongin snaps out of his staring to look at his own small carved piece. The surface is smooth, decorated with nothing but a simple circle filled with a black dye. A new moon. He closes his fist around the small decorative chip, breathing shakily as he drops it back into the pouch. The head priestess gives him a look he can't decipher before she returns to place standing in front of them all.  
"The moon goddess does not choose the hunter based simply on the magnitude of his kill," she says. "The moon is also a judge of character, and so I turn my hands over to her service. I ask that the moon guide my fingers to pick the correct piece so that the winner of this challenge may be revealed."  
Jongin swallows hard. All that work for another game of luck? This is little more than drawing lots to decide to has to plant and who has to sort out on the fields, only the weight of the outcome is much greater.  
The head priestess reaches into the bag, still murmuring under her breath in prayer. It seems a simple concept to reach into a pouch and draw out a piece, but the head priestess' hand stays within the bag for a few long moments as the darkness stretching across the sky falls fully into place. The moon rises high to wash the glade in silver light. She's not quite a full moon yet, but Jongin can feel the power, the revitalization that comes with being in the presence of moonbeams seeping through his muscles.  
The priestess withdraws her hand from the pouch, and Jongin watches her face scrunch up in confusion and concentration before she holds the piece out for all of them to see.  
"A new moon," she says. "Who chose this piece?"  
A new moon. Jongin chose a new moon.  
He steps forward. "I did," he says. "That was my piece."  
The head priestess regards him for a long, tense moment of silence that seems to be louder than any roar of the pack. She blinks, slow and careful.  
"I see," Jongin thinks he sees her lips form, but she does not make any sound. In the darkness of the recently fallen night, he can't be certain that's what he saw.  
"Jongin wins the challenge," the head priestess announces, and the cheers up the pack are wild, carrying Jongin's heart back into his chest from the pit of his stomach. The head priestess goes on to announce Chanyeol as the next place and Seulgi as the third. She continues on down the line, and Sehun flinches next to Jongin when his name is called last.  
"I'm dismissed," he whispers. Jongin reaches out, slipping his hand into his fellow omega's.  
"We don't know for sure," he says. "We don't know anything about this."  
Sehun shakes his head. "Sure we do," he argues. "There were twelve of us originally. Three were cut from the race, and now one will be cut from the hunt."  
"It could be another three?" Jongin tries.  
"Eight omegas to carry out the third task leaves for even competitions, don't you think?"  
Jongin blinks. "What?"  
Sehun gives him a look that asks if he's stupid, and Jongin is too tired to be affronted by that. "The next challenge, test, whatever," Sehun starts. "It's sparring. Isn't it obvious?" Jongin supposes it is a bit obvious. That's the number one test of strength- whether or not an omega has what it takes to win a fight. That's the number one thing they dedicated their time to in training.  
"Oh," he says.  
"Yeah," Sehun replies. "So I'll return to the pack as soon as the priestess makes an announcement." He tightens his fingers around Jongin's. "Don't give up yet," he urges. "You caught a buck for a reason."  
"You make it sound like the outcome is already decided," Jongin sniffs, and Sehun shrugs. If everyone's repeated words of 'everything will turn out the way it is meant to' are to be believed, then in one way, Jongin thinks, the outcome is truly already selected by fate.  
"Sehun," the head priestess says, and Jongin squeezes Sehun's hand once before he lets go. "The goddess has not chosen you. Please return to the pack." Sehun bows his head before he stands straight and moves to merge with the wolves gathered around. Jongin can only just see Sehun's mother, far smaller than Sehun himself, stand up on her tiptoes to kiss her son's cheek. She's proud of him for just this much, Jongin can tell, and he smiles gently.  
"With this, the first day of the tournament reaches its conclusion," the head priestess announces. "We will feast now. All of us together in honor of our candidates, of our First and the returned pack members, and of the goddess." She holds out her hands, and the priests other priests move forward to the various pits around the glade where dirt and twig and fallen branch create stone-encircled pits for fires. "Please come forward and mingle with these omegas," the priestess requests. "Help them skin their prey for roasting so that we all may eat and enjoy the company of the night."  
The first fire of the night lights, and the orange glow of the flames casts warmth and light over the glade. Jongin watches in a numb state as the priests begin to spread the flames to the other pits around the glade until the largest of them all, the one set in the center of the glade, is finally lit, the flames soaring high and loud into the sky. The moon spins jovially overhead, and Jongin can't believe this.  
He won the second test. With Jongdae's own catch only garnering him fifth place, Jongin now stands in the lead of the competition. He doesn't know how he feels about that.  
"You're in first!" Jongdae says to him, and his grin is bright. He's relieved Jongin realizes.  
"Doesn't that upset you?" he asks, brow furrowed. Jongdae's own brow furrows in confusion at Jongin's question.  
"I want what's best for the pack," Jongdae says. "Don't you?" Jongin can taste bile on the back of his tongue as the words he's been clinging to are thrown back at him. "The best for this pack is not going to be a wolf whose only quality is his speed." Jongdae raises an eyebrow. "Or do you not agree?"  
Jongin swallows. "There are other important aspects," he agrees slowly. Jongdae pats him on the shoulder.  
"Exactly," he says. "Now. I'm going to go talk to our First, and I'm going to eat something. Would you like to come with?"  
Jongin snorts. "Come with to watch you flirt? I think not." Jongdae shrugs.  
"Whatever, Jongin," he says. "See you later, tomorrow, whatever." He wanders off then, and Jongin watches him sidle right up against Seungwan, watches the obvious pleasure the First feels at this in the way her arm drapes easily around Jongdae's waist. No one makes a move to stop them, and Jongin glances around. The only omega candidates not caught in conversation with an alpha or beta are Chanyeol, Seulgi, and himself- the top three in the tournament currently.  
"You look like you're ready to have fun," Taehyung teases, stepping into Jongin's line of vision. Jongin frowns.  
"I think I'm just ready to go home," he says. "Sleep. It's been a long day." Taehyung laughs at that even if there was no humor in Jongin's words.  
"Yeah," he agrees. "It has been a long day. Especially for you, dragging that buck back must have been-" He cuts off suddenly, staring at a point somewhere over Jongin's shoulders.  
"Taehyung?" Jongin prompts.  
His cousin shakes his head. "Nothing," he says, but when he looks up, his eyes fall right back to the same place. "I just- nothing." It's clearly not nothing if Taehyung can't stop looking, and Jongin is curious and maybe a bit concerned. He hasn't seen Taehyung lose focus like this in a long time. His fellow omega might be silly, a bit of a wild card, but he's observant. He rarely loses track of a conversation to stare at nothing.  
Jongin turns around, trying to match his angle to Taehyung's gaze, and he sees one of the wolves who has just returned to the pack after sun cycles away training in the mountains staring at his cousin. Something protective and something fiercely jealous twist in Jongin's chest, and he growls lowly.  
"Stop it!" Taehyung hisses, grabbing at Jongin. His eyes never leave the wolf with a thin frame and a smile that Jongin recognizes as stunning. From here, Jongin can't catch the wolf's scent, can't determine if he's an alpha or a beta. "Don't growl at him," Taehyung adds, and he tugs on Jongin's arm. He sounds embarrassed, and Jongin coughs to clear his throat of another growl he wants to emit in hopes of scaring the other wolf away.  
"We're still in the middle of the tournament," Jongin tells Taehyung. "You shouldn't be trying to find a mate right now when you could end up belonging to the Leader."  
"I'm not going to win, Jongin," Taehyung says. "That much is obvious. You and Chanyeol, Seulgi, maybe Jimin if he pulls out a miracle in the fights tomorrow- that's who the real competitors in this competition are, and everyone knows it."  
"Still," Jongin tries, and he sounds weak even to his own ears.  
"Those wolves have only just returned to the pack," Taehyung argues. "They need the attention and the care of every pack member. Are you denying them that?" Jongin shakes his head.  
"No," he says. "They're part of the pack just as much as we are." Taehyung hums, but he doesn't sound at all happy.  
"Maybe instead of worrying over all of us who are catching the attention of alphas and betas, you should worry about how averse you are to the idea of meeting someone before this tournament comes to a close," Taehyung nearly snaps, and Jongin takes a step back in shock.  
"Taehyung," he starts. His cousin holds up his hand.  
"There is a lot happening right now that I know you don't want to hear," he says. "But don't you dare try to get in the way of any of us finding happiness." His mouth is drawn in a straight lane. "You have wanted a happy ending like those stories Grandma tells since forever. Don't be so cruel to stop any of us from having that." Taehyung turns on his heel then, marching toward the fire where his hare is roasting. Jongin stares after him, feeling remorse run through him. He needs to apologize, but right now, he doesn't want to focus on how upset Taehyung might be.  
The wolf Taehyung had made eyes at is walking up to the same fire where Taehyung is, and Jongin clenches his fists. He looks out over the crowd almost desperately. Maybe he too can find someone who holds interest in him.  
The only eyes he sees looking back at him are those of the head priestess and those of his family. Jongin sighs and steps away from the center of the glade to greet his parents, burying his face in his mother's neck and closing his eyes to the celebration happening around him. He wants to go home and sleep; he wants to be anywhere that isn't here.  
His gaze falls on the corner of the cabin where the new Leader hides away, waiting for the chosen omega to walk through the front doorway.  
"Let's eat," he suggests, and his mother grins at him.  
"You did so well," she praises. "Let's go get some of that venison you brought back, hm?" Jongin doesn't argue. He nods his head and says nothing else for the rest of the night. When his parents urge him to pray to the moon to thank her for his good fortune and success, he obediently turns his head up towards the moon, but he doesn’t pray.  
He has nothing to say.  
~*~  
Jongin hasn't even fully woken up before Minseok is shoving him into the medicine hut alongside the other seven omegas who will continue onto the third test today.  
"We're fighting for the test, right?" Taehyung mumbles, his forehead pressed to Jongin's shoulder as they stand awkwardly inside the medicine hut. "What are we doing here then?" Jongin shrugs gently so as to not jostle Taehyung too much. Jongin's only been here before when he was delirious with fever, and he doesn't remember the place well. He supposes that won't be an issue unless they grow a corn maze inside of here and ask him to find his way through it.  
"Maybe sparring is just something we do for the tournament," Jongin whispers, his voice trailing out in a yawn. Taehyung yawns too, hanging off of Jongin who half expects him to collapse on the ground and go back to sleep. Jongin would join him on the floor for another nap if he couldn't smell the juniper berries burning faintly. His skin burns with the scent, and he picks at his fingernails with irritation.  
"So there's a separate third test?" Taehyung asks, and Jongin sighs, reaching up to run his fingers through his cousin's hair. Taehyung murmurs a thank you against Jongin's shoulder, and Jongin tugs on his hair lightly.  
"We'll find out," he soothes. Taehyung wraps his arms around Jongin's waist.  
"I miss when we were younger," he murmurs. "You were squishier."  
"Hadn't been through years of fighting then," Jongin says. He pinches Taehyung's side in return, and his cousin yelps, jumping up and tripping over Namjoon's legs. He falls back, tumbling down to the floor, and Namjoon yells in surprise. Taehyung looks up from Namjoon's lap, throwing Jongin the most disgruntled of expressions. Jongin bites his lip and holds his breath, trying to keep in the laughter bubbling in his chest.  
There's a tense moment of all of the omega candidates jerking up to see what the commotion is, and when they see Taehyung sprawled on their fellow omega gaping up at Jongin looking terribly affronted, they all burst out into laughter.  
Jongin laughs with them all, and it feels good to look at them all smiling and relaxed. The tension of the first day and the rising tension of the beginning of the second day of the tournament has not faded completely, but right now, it is eased. Jongin takes his small blessings where he can get them.  
"Good morning," interrupts the laughter, and all of them straighten up, jumping to their feet and falling into line. With Sehun gone, Jongin stands on one end of the line, looking across the other seven candidates. The head priestess looks younger in the dim lighting of the medicine hut, the shadows hiding the wrinkles on her skin. "I hope you all rested well."  
There's very little about her tone that says she sincerely means that, and Jongin only barely resists the urge to roll his eyes as he bows to her.  
"The third test is done in two parts," the head priestess begins. "While the pack gathers, we will conduct the first part as it is quite private and for no one to know of other than yourselves, myself, our Leader and Second, and the moon goddess." At her words, the Leader and Second of the pack emerge.  
"Leader," Jongin hears Chanyeol say, and directly after him, Jimin's voice.  
"Second," the other omega greets. All of them bow to the mated pair, heads turned to the side to show submission.  
Leader simply waves a hand, dismissing their actions. "No need for that," she says, voice low and gentle. Jongin's heard her shout orders before; he knows exactly how much command she can hold. To hear her speak like this to them, as if they are equals, is a bit unnerving.  
As if noticing Jongin's hesitation, Second speaks up, her smile still youthful despite her scars and gray hair. "I am stepping down tomorrow after the last fight and relinquishing my position to one of you. There is no need for formality here."  
"And directly after that," Leader says, pulling Second in close against her side. "On the morning after, I will step down." Second's fingers curl around Leader's wrist, and Jongin watches the tenderness on their faces as they meet each other's eyes. Their days in this pack are numbered down to two now, and Jongin grits his teeth.  
That's one more reason to not want to be Second. After forty sun cycles of leading the pack, Leader and Second are required to leave by order of the moon goddess. If the goddess is real, Jongin thinks, she's rather cruel to the wolves whom she is supposed to love and protect.  
"This test is designed to reveal your strength of character," Leader informs them. "As strong as a Leader must be to guide her pack, a Second must be even stronger in order to guide the Leader." She smiles at her Second then before she nods to the head priestess.  
"We will begin with Chanyeol," the head priestess says. "After you leave here, the next time you see each other will be in a fight. Good luck, and may the moon goddess bless you." She turns then, sweeping deeper into the medicine hut, Leader, Second, and Chanyeol all following her.  
Silence settles around the remaining omegas, and they all settle on the floor to wait, eyeing each other awkwardly.  
"Why are we still here?" Jimin whines after Yixing has stood up to follow after wherever Chanyeol went a few minutes ago at one of the priest's urging.  
"Because we haven't done the test?" Seulgi says, tone of voice distinctly unimpressed. Jimin throws her a 'no, shit, really?' expression, his eyebrows raised.  
"That's not what I meant," he says. "Why are we" -he gestures to himself, Namjoon, Taehyung, and off in the direction Yixing just went- "still here? We're not going to win."  
"There's a ritual they have to follow," Jongin says before he can't stop himself from speaking.  
The others all snap around to look at him. Jongin does his best to meet their eyes, especially Jimin's, evenly. "Even if you're not a top contestant, you're still here because the ceremony requires the numbers." Jimin barks out a laugh.  
"You've hated this from day one," he sneers. "And now you're defending them?"  
"We don't have any other options," Jongin says. "No need to gripe about it uselessly."  
"Jimin," a priest calls. "Come with me."  
The omega gets to his feet with an annoyed sigh. He looks at Jongin for a long moment. "The moon loves you," he says. "More than she should considering how much you hate her." He disappears after the guard, and his words hang heavy over Jongin's head.  
Everything will end the way the goddess intends. Jongin closes his eyes, sinking into those words. Jimin might not want to be Second, or maybe he does. Either way, it doesn't matter when everything seems to be slipping into place for Jongin to take on that role.  
He breathes, even and deep, waiting until he's the last omega left to be called. He bites his fingernails and hums his grandmother's folk song until he can remember the tune backwards and forwards.  
"Jongin," calls out. "Come with me."  
Jongin gets to his feet, his toes a little numb and his thighs cramping from holding still for so long. He follows the priest back to a small room where the air is pungent with the scent of juniper burning. He tries not to scrunch his nose, but the smell burns.  
"You don't like the scent of juniper?" questions softly when Jongin sits on the floor across from Leader and Second. The head priest sits between them, her wrinkled hands curled over their wrists. It was Second who had spoken, and Jongin shakes his head apologetically.  
"My grandmother uses it often to aid in her prayers," he answers. "I never really got used to the smell."  
Second laughs at that. "He's honest," she says. Leader hums.  
"That's more than can be said for some of the others already," she murmurs. She fixes her eyes on Jongin, and he fights to not shrink back from her stare. "We are going to ask you a few questions, Jongin." She holds out her hand for Jongin to take, and Second does the same. Jongin hesitates, reaching out in returning tentatively. Second's smile is encouraging, calm where Leader is serious. They compliment each other well. "Answer as you see fit," Leader continues. "And do not be frightened."  
Jongin wants to ask why he would be frightened of anything in this room, but then the head priestess' fingers sink into the skin of Leader and Second's wrists, and her eyes roll back in her head. The dark circles of her irises disappear to be replaced completely by the blankness of white sclera, and her lips tremble as she recites words under breath that Jongin is not sure he could understand even if he could properly hear them. As he watches, the head priestess' eyes seem to glow a blank silver that echoes that of the color of the moon.  
"Jongin," Leader begins. "What do you think of this pack?"  
Jongin swallows, coughing slightly around the burn of Juniper. He could answer this in his own words, or he could choose to speak lines that he thinks they want to hear even if they do not necessarily match his own beliefs. If the moon goddess expects pretty words, she won't hear them from him.  
"The pack is home," Jongin answers. "My family, my friends- they're here. So this is home."  
"Jongin," Second says next. "What is most important to you?"  
That's easy. "The safety of my family," he says.  
Leader speaks, "Do you like to kill?"  
"I love it when it accompanies the thrill of a hunt," Jongin answers. "But I have never killed another wolf."  
"Would you to protect your family?" Second asks.  
"Yes."  
The head priestess' voice becomes loud for a moment, and Leader and Second do not even glance at her, simply waiting until she's quiet again to ask the next question.  
"Jongin," Leader questions. "Have you ever been in love?"  
"No," he responds.  
"Ever lain with a wolf with whom you did not intend to mate?"  
"No."  
"Do you want pups?" she continues.  
"With the right alpha, maybe."  
Second cuts in then, and it's her question that Jongin pauses over. "Jongin, would you take a mate who you do not know, and perhaps may never love, simply to protect your family?"  
Jongin sees right through her question. As carefully worded as it is, at the core, the question only asks whether or not Jongin would take an alpha to bed tomorrow night should be win the tournament. That alpha would not be any alpha, but the alpha, the next Leader of this pack.  
Jongin knows how bonds are formed. Jongin knows the permanence of such a thing. He desperately wants to answer 'no,' to say that he will only take a mate whom he loves, but Taehyung's words from last night ring back to him, asking him in the echoes of his memory exactly why he held no interest in finding someone to dance with during the feast.  
Perhaps Jongin already knows somewhere in the depths of his mind that the alpha whom he is destined to bond is waiting for him in the cabin built for the leading pair of the pack.  
His stomach churns violently. Where is the love in that situation?  
"Jongin?" Second prompts. Jongin nods his head stiffly, body protesting as he answers.  
"Yes," he mouths, voice caught in his throat. "I would." Leader nods at him, and Second gives him a near heart-broken look. In tandem, they release his hands, and Jongin almost misses the warmth of their grips.  
The head priestess' murmurings cut out, and the smell of juniper seems to disappear. The priestess releases the arms of both Leader and Second, and Jongin can see the nail marks left on their wrists.  
"You're an interesting omega," the head priestess murmurs, her eyes rolling back into place. She focuses nearly black eyes on him, and Jongin simply returns her gaze.  
"Honest," she says. "Up until the very end. I wonder..." She tilts her head to the side, scrutinizing him. "Why would you feel the need to lie about that?"  
Jongin coughs. "I-"  
"Don't answer," the head priestess orders. "The moon goddess has heard your words, and she knows what lies in your heart. Now. Get up. Leave that way." She points one long finger towards the opposite side of the room where Jongin entered. "Follow a priest's instruction, and we shall all see you in the glade."  
The dismissal is clear, and Jongin gets to his feet, hurrying out into another room of the medicine hut. A priest is there with a leather pouch not quite full anymore.  
"Drink this," he says, holding the pouch out to him. Jongin takes it slowly, sniffing the contents. The scent is foul, and he gags.  
"All of it?"  
The priest shakes his head. "A mouthful will be sufficient." Jongin holds his breath and tips the drink into his mouth. The priest holds out his hand once Jongin has swallowed.  
"Sorry about that," he says. "There's nothing to be done for the taste. You might feel very sick in a few moments."  
"What?" As if on cue, pain spirals through Jongin's limbs and churns his stomach. He heaves, curling in on himself with his arms tightened around his middle. His hands shake violently, and his body aches with a consistent thrum of suffering.  
"Just breathe," the priest advises. "It will pass in a moment." Jongin tries his best to follow instruction, but with his stomach twisting like this, he struggles to even take in a shallow breath.  
The pain subsides slowly, and Jongin wobbles on his feet. He feels weakened from the attack of pain, but nothing else feels out of place.  
"Okay?" the priest prompts. Jongin breathes in through his nose.  
"Yes," he says. "What was that?"  
The priest sets the pouch down. "A potion of wolfsbane," he explains. "It's meant to cut off your connection to your wolf form."  
Jongin stares. "Why the fuck would we want to be able to do that?"  
"The first rounds of fights are supposed to be based solely on your ability as a fighter, not your strength as a wolf," the priest answers. "It is a safety precaution in case a fight accidentally invokes a shift." He rolls his gaze down towards Jongin's fingers. "Show me your fangs and claws, please."  
Jongin rolls his eyes. "You just told me I can't do that anymore because of your potion," he snarks.  
The priest looks highly unamused. "Please," he repeats. Jongin sighs, but holds out his hand, reaching for that easy ability he's always had to draw out his claws and his fangs. He blinks. Somehow, his claws are there, hard and curved and wicked and sharp. He tongues at his teeth, feels his fangs, both upper and lower, extend.  
"Is this supposed to happen?" he asks. The priest's bewildered expression betrays the answer to that question.  
"I'm so sorry," he says. "It seems your connection with the moon is stronger than that of the average wolf." He reaches back and picks up the pouch again. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to drink again."  
"Oh, fuck no," Jongin breathes, but he takes the pouch obediently and tips the contents back. It burns going down this time, and he expects the pain when it hits. It's twice as bad this time, and Jongin collapses to his knees, coughing at the pain of the poison in his body. It turns his stomach violently, and he wants to throw up everything he's ever eaten in his life.  
The pain takes longer to stop this time, and when it does finally cease, leaving his limbs all in a rush, he can feel the distinct lack of connection to his wolf side.  
"We also use this to keep those with broken limbs from shifting during the full moon," the priest tells him. "Sometimes the elderly request to take it because the pain of the shift during a full moon is too much for their bodies to handle anymore."  
"Why," Jongin gasps out. "Would anyone willingly put themselves through this. Fuck."  
"Sometimes one pain is better than another," the priest answers. "Can you stand?" He holds out his hand, but Jongin is a little bitter about this priest poisoning him and ignores the offer, pushing himself to his feet. He takes one step and stumbles a little, but his balance holds.  
"I'm fine," he insists, eyeing the priest's worried hands where they pause, extended as if to grab Jongin. "Please don't touch me." The priest returns his hands to his side.  
"Go out to the glade," he instructs. "The fighting will begin soon." Jongin nods his understanding and complies.  
Stepping out into the glade has always been something of a comfort for Jongin. He loves standing in the middle of his home, feeling the comfort that comes with being some place so familiar.  
The other candidates are gathered in their line where they had stood yesterday, and Jongin walks with his head held high out to take his place next to Jongdae. Watching over them all, Jongin sees Seungwan standing up on the rocks again. Her eyes roam the crowd, and Jongin doesn't miss the way she pauses an extra moment to look at Jongdae. Even though Jongdae's back is turned to him, the other omega seems to know that he's being watched, a pleased smirk curling up one side of his mouth.  
Jongin falls into line. "First is staring at you," he whispers.  
"Good," Jongdae responds. "If I'm going to stand here on display, may as well have someone of importance looking at me." Jongin shakes his head; he shouldn't have asked.  
"Hey," whispers around Jongdae. Jongin leans back to meet Taehyung's eyes.  
"Yeah?" he asks. "What?"  
"How about that wolfsbane?" Taehyung asks, and Jongin gags at the memory.  
"Made me drink it twice," he answers. "Disgusting stuff."  
"Yeah," Taehyung agrees. "Twice though? Jongin that's poisonous."  
"I know," Jongin whispers at him. "But I couldn't exactly say ‘no’ to a priest." Taehyung's eyebrows furrow, but he says nothing else. Jongin turns to stare ahead of himself, feeling the grass tickle between his toes.  
They wait, all of them, under the fully risen sun, for the head priestess to emerge from the medicine hut with the Leader and the Second. Priests emerge first, carrying pouches of dyed sand. They walk around each other in circles, spreading the purple-dyed sand on the ground in a wide round.  
"Boundary lines," Jongdae breathes. "Are they trying to contain us?"  
"I don't think they're trying," Jongin says, watching the head priestess emerge from the hut with the leadership pair beside her. She's wearing a pleased smile as she watches the priests trail the sand on the ground. "I think that's literally what's happening right now."  
Jongdae growls quietly, and Jongin agrees with him. He could fight all day and night, but stepping inside that ring of colored sand and limiting his fight to that designated space seems fake. Staged.  
"My pack," Leader calls out, and the silence, the hush, is immediate instead of fading out like when the head priestess calls for it. "The most exciting part of the third challenge is now to begin." Jongin blinks. He's not sure about exciting; violent might be a more apt description.  
"The following rounds of spars will be matched randomly with no divine influence," Leader announces. She holds up the bag of marked chips from last night. "Our First will be the one to draw these. Omega candidates are not permitted to watch the fights, and anyone who attempts to cheat will be thrown from the tournament." Leader and Second then move towards the rocks at the front of the glade, climbing them carefully and quickly. Seungwan takes the offered bag from Leader, and old wolf dips her head to the younger.  
First reaches into the bag. "All omega candidates face me," she orders, and all of them turn, facing away from the ring of colored sand. She pulls out one chip and then another.  
"A new moon," she announces. "And a star."  
Jongin breathes. Of course he would be selected to go first.  
"Our first two, please make your way over to the ring," First asks, and Jongin steps out of line. Namjoon does as well, and Jongin's heart begins to beat just a little bit faster. He has never before seen Namjoon fight, and he doesn't know what type of technique he might be up against.  
They step into the ring together, facing each other with tense expressions. Namjoon's eyes are sweeping over Jongin's body like the answer to exactly how skilled he is in a spar is written there. Jongin slides back into a stance. His balance isn't quite at his full capability, and his stomach still hurts a bit with residual pain from drinking wolfsbane. He doesn't let any of that show; he doesn't need to show any weakness.  
"Those in a fight will not step over the borderline," the head priestess tells them. "And wolf forms are forbidden in this round." Jongin snorts in his head. They'd poisoned their wolf sides away, but of course, they couldn't just tell the pack that they had done that.  
"The fight begins whenever one of you decides to attack," the priestess says. "Good luck. Blessings from the moon goddess be with you." Her words stop, and Namjoon moves.  
He slams into Jongin, and Jongin only just manages to get his block up in time, pressing his arms out to throw Namjoon back. The other omega snarls at him, and Jongin takes one step forward, then another. Namjoon's muscles tense, and Jongin moves before he can.  
He tackles Namjoon from the side, grabbing his arms and pushing them over his head, his shins hooked over Namjoon's thighs to hold him down. Jongin bends and snaps his teeth at Namjoon's neck, and the other omega stills.  
The fight ends, just like that. Only a few moments of battle time, and the sudden stillness is accompanied by the stillness of the shocked pack gathered to watch.  
"Jongin wins," First announces, and Jongin lets go of Namjoon as the cheers begin to rise up around them.  
"Return to the line, Jongin," the head priestess requests. Jongin holds out his hand to Namjoon, helping the other omega stand.  
Namjoon's eyes are wide. "That was insane," he says.  
"Namjoon," the head priestess calls. "You have been through two tests successfully, but the moon goddess has not chosen you. You may return to the pack." Namjoon goes, and Jongin watches him greet his father and mother. They seem relieved to see him out of the tournament; Jongin wishes he were done with it too. He returns to his place in line.  
It continues like this for three more rounds. Jongin listens to the fights, the pounding of feet on the ground, the crack of fists over skin, gasps and groans from pain. Jimin loses to Chanyeol, and Jongin is not shocked at all when Seulgi defeats Taehyung. Jongin had almost hoped Chanyeol and Seulgi would face off first, but alas his luck is not that good. He could potentially face both of them now. Jongdae takes Yixing down with a tortuously long fight that Jongdae laughs his way through, his cackles goading Yixing into losing his temper and control.  
The first round closes with Jongdae's victory, and when he returns to the line at Jongin's side, they are only two of four total candidates.  
The results are not surprising by any means. The four of them had taken the best places in both the race and the hunt, and now they stand prepared for the penultimate round of spars.  
Overhead, the sun is beginning to droop from its place in the sky, pink streaking across blue.  
"The mentors may bring forward water now," First says, and Jongin hadn't even realized how thirsty he is, mouth still rancid with the flavor of the wolfsbane, until First had mentioned it. He glances around frantically for Minseok, and the beta is already stepping out of the pack, a familiar leather pouch in his hand.  
"Here you go," he says, handing it over to Jongin. Jongin mumbles his thanks around mouthfuls of water.  
"You're fight was impressive," Minseok praises when Jongin takes a pause in drinking.  
"Too easy," Jongin says. "Chanyeol or Seulgi or Jongdae will much more of a challenge."  
"If it's you against Jongdae, you'll win," Minseok murmurs in a very low voice. "He's a fast runner, but he relies on tricks. It'll be like fighting Sehun again." Jongin tips his head back and swallows the rest of the water.  
"I'll fight," he says. "I have to."  
"I'm proud," Minseok tells him. "If that's worth anything." Jongin tries not to smile too broadly.  
"Thanks, beta," he says. Minseok ruffles his hair and takes the pouch back, turning to rejoin the pack members.  
"We will begin the next round now," First announces, and almost like it's become a habit, Jongin steps easily back into his place in the now significantly shorter line of omegas. Seungwan dips her hand into the bag.  
"A tree," she calls out. "Jongdae, your turn." She says it warmly, and Jongdae throws First a secretive smile that Jongin catches.  
"Are you going to lose on purpose?" Jongin hisses. Jongdae narrows his eyes.  
"No," he says. "But I won't win. I'm not meant to." He stalks off then, and Jongin turns his eyes back to Seungwan.  
"A wolf," Seungwan calls out. "That would be Chanyeol."  
The fights begins only a few moments later, and Jongin stares at the ground, listening for any sounds that could be telltale signs of the events. The pack is cheering, and Jongin can't distinguish all the sounds of the fight over the roar, twice as loud as it was before.  
They're scaring off all the game for miles, Jongin thinks bitterly.  
It's another few minutes before there's a sudden lull in sound, and the First's voice carries over them all.  
"Chanyeol wins," she says, and Jongin clenches his eyes shut as Jongdae is released back to the pack. Jongdae is pleased about this, he knows. Jongdae wants the First; he's never wanted to be Second. Chanyeol, however, might legitimately want the position, and Jongin, as he's called up to stand opposite Seulgi, realizes that if he wins this, he'll have to make a decision to lose to Chanyeol or to actually fight for the title of Second.  
Right now though, Seulgi is smirking at him, and Jongin needs to focus.  
"When I heard about 'Jongin,'" Seulgi murmurs, quietly, taking a very familiar step across her body. She's circling; Jongin copies her, moving to circle his opponent as well. "I expected some tall, mountain of an omega." She tosses him a smile that is far more disarming than it has any right to be. "You're much smaller than I thought you'd be."  
"I shrunk for the occasion," Jongin quips. "Didn't want to make Chanyeol feel outmatched, you see."  
Seulgi laughs outright at him, and Jongin watches her heel shift on the ground.  
"How considerate," she nearly purrs, and then she leaps. She clears the distance between them easily, and Jongin allows her to crash into him. They both tumble to the ground, rolling over each other. Seulgi comes out on top, attempting to press Jongin down. Jongin goes lax for just a moment, and Seulgi leans down to go for his neck.  
Jongin surges up, throwing Seulgi off of him. He scrambles to his feet, and she's right there with him, throwing out a kick that Jongin blocks on his forearm. He grabs her ankle with his opposite hand and yanks hard, stepping backward. Seulgi's supporting leg crumples underneath her, and Jongin's grip on her ankle slips as she drops completely to the ground.  
He sees her leg sweep out, intending to trip him, and Jongin step over it, diving down to press Seulgi down with his weight. She gets an arm free, and her elbow smashes hard across his jaw. Jongin rears back, and Seulgi looses a punch into his gut.  
Jongin coughs hard, thrown back onto the ground. Seulgi breathes hard, pressing herself back up into standing, and Jongin swallows the blood from his split lip, pushing himself up to stand. She's not going to fall easily, he recognizes. But he does have one major advantage that she doesn't seem to be taking into consideration.  
Jongin takes two steps to the left, and then darts in on the right. Seulgi doesn't twist in time to get to block up for her right shoulder, and Jongin's hit with his forearm smacks over her skin. She stumbles to the side, and her thrown balance is all Jongin needs to dive in and tackle her again.  
This time he goes lax immediately, and Seulgi rolls over on top, her hands reaching for his throat. Jongin twists hard, and they roll over again, Seulgi trapped underneath him. He grabs her arms, pinning them out to her sides. Her knee digs painfully into the crease of his hip, but Jongin leans in despite the pain, holding his teeth over her jugular.  
"Jongin wins!" echoes out over the glade, and Seulgi stops struggling.  
"Get off of me," she says, shoving at Jongin's chest. "Jongin, what the fuck are you waiting for? First already called you as the winner." Her voice is garbled in Jongin's ears as he slowly sits back and lets her up. He's won this fight. He is going to fight in the final round.  
He's only one step away from the claiming the position of Second.  
"Hey, are you okay?" Seulgi asks, sitting up. She presses the back of her hand to his forehead. "Jongin?"  
"I'm okay," he manages to tell her. It's a lie, and Seulgi keeps glancing back at him in concern as she's dismissed back into the pack.  
Jongin stands on shaky legs, walking back over to where Chanyeol is.  
"It's just us now," the other omega tells him, and Jongin is shaking.  
"We've come to the final two chosen by the goddess," the head priestess calls out. "Tomorrow will be the final day of the tournament, and tomorrow night will bring the rise of our new Leader and our new Second."  
Seungwan picks up. "Go home, everyone. Hunt, enjoy the evening. Tomorrow we will watch these two fight, and then we will celebrate the strength of our pack!" The pack cheers, and intermingled with the excited yelling are shouts of Jongin and Chanyeol's names.  
"Good luck tomorrow," Chanyeol tells him, offering his hand. Jongin takes it.  
"And to you," he says. "I'm just ready for this to be over."  
"I'm ready too," Chanyeol agrees. "But I think the results are already quite clear."  
"Do you want to be Second?" Jongin asks. "Because if you want it, then I'll lose. I'll-"  
"Jongin," Chanyeol interrupts. "Let's just fight and see what happens. I'd rather not test fate or the goddess."  
"Right," Jongin says. Around them, the pack is wandering home, and the glade is clearing out. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Sleep well," Chanyeol says, and he turns and leaves. Jongin stands still in the glade until he's the last one there. He stares up at the night sky and the moon floating overhead. She seems to be staring at him, and Jongin's chest feels tight, a sense of foreboding settling over his shoulders. Some small part of him thinks he already knows how this ends.  
"Fuck," he whispers. "Fuck."  
~*~  
Jongin inhales deeply before he opens his eyes to the blinding streams of sunlight pouring into his room. His eyes adjust slowly, and he waits patiently. He's in no rush- not this morning anyway. Today is the third day of the tournament, and with only two contestants, it does not start until the afternoon.  
The scent of burning juniper that's been in his house for the past few days is finally gone, and Jongin is immeasurably pleased by this. He's sick of the headaches that accompany the smell.  
He stretches out on his furs, flexing his fingers and pointing his toes. He feels like he hasn't had a chance to relax like this, to take a morning off, in moons even if it's only been two days. He plans to enjoy it fully. As his body wakes up, Jongin notices a familiar energy running through his skin, and he jolts up, curling his fingers in front of him.  
Claws curve from his nail beds, and when Jongin runs his tongue along the edges of his teeth, he nearly slices it open on his extended canines. He wants to cry at the relief of being whole again.  
His wolf side is returned to him, the effect of the poison the priest had given him, the wolfsbane, finally nullified after his system has had enough time to get rid of it. Jongin rolls out of his furs and onto all fours. He doesn't bother to pull on the red pants for the tournament, instead choosing to shift right away in his wolf form and panting happily when his body complies.  
It was not even a full day of suffering through the effects of the wolfsbane, but Jongin had felt cut off and incomplete the whole time his body fought to remove the poison from his bloodstream. He never wants to have to experience that again, and he apologizes to his body. Now, able to shift into his wolf form, Jongin feels like himself again. He jumps back into his furs, walking around in circles until he's created a comfortable spot, and he plops down on top of the bedding, burying his nose under the leather undersides of the pelts.  
He doesn't quite fall back asleep - not with the pressure of the final round of the tournament later today starting a little bubble of anxiety in his heart - but he does manage to doze off, ears pricked in case someone starts yelling for him. He's not sure how long he spends resting, simply relaxing in the form of his second body, but the sun is no longer sending direct beams of light through the walls of his room when the leather covering to his corner of his parents' house moves.  
Jongin jerks up, and his grandmother startles when she sees him there, alert and silent.  
"Jongin," she greets. "May I come in?" Jongin nods his head and thumps his tail on the furs. His grandmother shuffles over, the hem of her dress pooling on the floor as she sets a hand on his neck, her fingers caught in his scruff to give herself an anchor with which to lower herself down to his furs.  
"I haven't talked to you in awhile," she says. It has only been a couple of days, but Jongin supposes when she's used to talking to him every day that a span of three would feel much longer. He turns and noses against her neck, and his grandmother laughs, bringing up her hands to scratch behind his ears and down his flanks. Jongin pants happily.  
"I haven't been watching the tournament," his grandmother confesses to him. "I'm too old to stand out there for so long, but I think I might come today. Would that be okay with you?" Jongin licks her cheek in response. He doesn't particularly care if his grandmother comes to watch him fight Chanyeol or not; it won't change the outcome.  
Whichever outcome that is going to be.  
"I want you to know, my darling," his grandmother says. "You are a powerful wolf, but the best candidate for Second will be the one who wins today. And if that is you, remember this: for all of the goddess' meddling, she will not make it easy. You're in for a tough fight today, and you are possibly in for a tough lifetime."  
Jongin whines. He knows; he couldn't not know. He saw the relief that seemed to overtake Chanhyuk when he stepped down from the position of First. He's seen the readiness in both Leader and Second's eyes to release the burdens of this pack from their shoulders.  
"I'm so proud of you," Jongin's grandmother says, and that's all she says, pushing herself to her feet to shuffle out of the room. She doesn't wish Jongin good luck, and she doesn't offer him blessing from the goddess of the moon. For this, Jongin is grateful.  
If he wins the position of Second, he's going to do it on his own strength because he is the best option for the pack. If he loses, it had nothing to do with the goddess and everything to do with him.  
Do you want to be Second? Taehyung's question from what feels like sun cycles past but was only a few days previous rings in Jongin's head. Do you want to be Second?  
Jongin still doesn't know the answer.  
He doesn't manage to figure it out in that moment or even later before he steps out into the glade, standing next to Chanyeol as they wait for the head priestess to take her place and for First to climb onto the rocks. The head priestess does come out from the medicine hut just past high noon, but Seungwan never does climb the rocks that allow her to stare out over the entirety of the glade. Instead, she comes forward and stands next to the head priestess, her eyes raking over Jongin and Chanyeol in turn.  
"Today," the head priestess calls to the pack. "Today is the final day of the tournament that our two omega candidates here have trained for their entire lives." That's an exaggeration; they've been training for ten sun cycles at most, maybe less. "Today Jongin and Chanyeol will fight each other to determine the strongest of the them." She pauses as the pack cheers. Jongin glances up, and today it is Leader and Second who stand up on the rocks. Their fingers are linked, and Jongin's heart begins to pound with anticipation.  
"Strength," the head priestess announces, "is not built solely on the physical capability of a wolf. Strength is a culmination of intelligence and determination, resilience and power. These two omegas have shown themselves to be holders of all of these qualities. Now our goddess of the moon shall decide which one shall stand beside our next Leader for forty sun cycles as the Second of this pack."  
Jongin doesn't flinch when the cheering flares up. He only hopes that the hunting for the feast tonight was completed this morning. With all of this noise, there won't be any game in their territory for catching until tomorrow.  
The head priestess holds up a hand, asking for silence. She waits patiently until it falls, and she continues speaking. "Unlike yesterday's duels, today there are no boundaries. The entirety of the territory of yours to fight in, should you need it." She looks at Chanyeol and then to Jongin. Jongin struggles to not glance to his side and see what expression Chanyeol is wearing at this news.  
"The fight will take place in wolf form, as this is the test of your wolves' abilities. The fight will continue until someone has made himself a clear winner, but do not actually bite through each other's necks. My priests can heal a lot, but fatality is something from which you cannot be recovered." There's a slight smattering of nervous laughter that follows that announcement.  
"After one of you has won this fight, we will move immediately into preparation for the Grand Ceremony tonight. At dusk, we will feast and welcome our new Second into his position."  
Jongin breathes out slowly, closing his eyes. He can let Chanyeol win- he could. He could tempt fate and make the decision for them both, letting Chanyeol best him and take the position of Second.  
Something churns in Jongin's chest. His pride won't allow that. He has never lost a fight against another omega even once in his life; why would he start now?  
"You may shift," the head priestess says, and Jongin strips off his pants, letting his wolf form take the place of his human body. Beside him, Chanyeol does the same, and the contrast between Jongin's red-tinted fur and Chanyeol's russet brown almost seems to declare them as enemies instead of pack members.  
"First will follow you wherever you go," the head priestess tells them. She steps back, and beside her, Seungwan takes off the dark blue pants that all of the returned alphas and betas were given and tugs her shirt over her head. She shifts into her wolf form, huge paws thudding on the ground as she falls forward, gray fur covering a powerful frame.  
She's an impressive wolf with a certain fluidity to her change. It's easy for Jongin to see why Jongdae is so enamored.  
"The fight begins whenever you are ready," the head priestess announces, and her words are followed by a moment of stillness. Jongin can hear his own breathing, the blood rushing in his ears, the wind whistling in the trees. Everything around him seems to fade away for a long span of nothing, and he waits for any movement, any sign of attack. He knows how to win a fight; he's been trained for this moment.  
Do you want to be Second?  
Does he? Or is that just an expectation that has been placed on him for so long that he doesn't know the difference between his wants and the wants of those who support him? Chanyeol growls, and Jongin reacts the only way he knows how.  
He bares his teeth and attacks.  
He and Chanyeol clash in the middle, both of them rearing up on their hind paws, forelegs grappling as they fight to get their claws in the other's neck. Like this, their balance can't hold long, and Jongin brings Chanyeol crashing down with him when he falls.  
He lands hard on his shoulder, but he ignores the sting of the pain, pushing himself up to his paws and jumping in again to rake his claws down Chanyeol's shoulder. He tries to snap at him with his teeth, but Chanyeol is dancing back. He barks at Jongin, and Jongin growls back, the sound ripping through him and bouncing off of the sky. Chanyeol takes off running across the glade, and Jongin follows him, pressing against Chanyeol's shoulder, trying to throw off his balance as they bark and snap at each other's necks with bared teeth.  
The forest rises up around them, and Chanyeol seems to know this territory just as well as Jongin does, his steps sure and even over the roots and foliage as they run. Just behind them, Jongin can hear Seungwan following, but he shoves that edge of focus from his mind. Seungwan is not a threat; Chanyeol is.  
Jongin jumps, crashing down on Chanyeol's back. The wolf crashes to the ground under him, and they roll across the ground, snarls rings around them. A sudden shock of cold encompasses Jongin as Chanyeol drags him into a wide creek. Mud and water drip in his eyes, but Jongin doesn't pause to shake it away, instead tackling Chanyeol back into the stream.  
He used to play like this with Taehyung when they were pups, splashing around in the water and coming home dripping only for Uncle Beom and Jongin's mother to yell at them about getting sick.  
This is far less fun, but the exhilaration is twice as much. He snaps his teeth around Chanyeol's ear, and the other wolf howls, rearing up. Jongin leans up to meet him, and the slip and crash into the water again. Jongin breaks free, scrambling up and leaping out of the water, taking off across the territory again. He hears the sudden break in Chanyeol's thudding paws behind him, and he doesn't manage to twist out of the way in time before Chanyeol's claws are in his back, dragging him down as if he were a hunted deer.  
Jongin drops to his side, rolling, and Chanyeol's claws snag deep. Jongin forces himself to keep pressing even as his skin tears, and Chanyeol snarls, letting go before his paw is twisted at an unnatural angle.  
Jongin leaps back to his paws, and Chanyeol is after him again. Neither of them are backing down, each attack calculated to wear the other down. Jongin is panting hard, his shoulders bruised and back bleeding. Chanyeol doesn't look much better, and they crash back into the glade, snarling and snapping.  
Chanyeol's slight limp from Jongin rolling over his paw earlier has worsened, and Jongin attacks again, harsh on Chanyeol's weakened side. He closes his teeth around Chanyeol's scruff and tries to shake him, but the other wolf stands strong. Jongin releases his scruff, snapping at his wounded leg instead, and Chanyeol stumbles back.  
It's opening enough for Jongin who slams into his side again. Time seems to slow, the sun and moon frozen in the sky as Jongin watches Chanyeol fall back, his stomach and neck bared.  
For a split second, Jongin hesitates, distracted by the defeat in Chanyeol's eyes, and then instinct wins out. He dives forward, and his teeth graze over Chanyeol's throat.  
Dead. Not really, but if this had been a real fight, he would be, and that’s signal enough.  
Seungwan howls, and the song pounds through Jongin's skull, ringing with a victory cry that echoes with Jongin's name.  
Jongin steps back from Chanyeol, shifting slowly out of his wolf form. Everything is a daze, sounds nothing but a wall of color that spins around him as Jongin sways on his feet, tired and in shock. Minseok is beside him, pressing Jongin's pants into his hands, urging him to dress.  
"Chanyeol," Jongin hears the head priestess' voice over the roar of the pack. "You've fought valiantly, but the moon goddess has not chosen you. You may rejoin the pack." Chanyeol nods, taking his pants from his mentor's hands and stepping into them before he walks off to join the ranks of the other pack members.  
Jongin stares at his hands, watching them as they tremble. Minseok's hand is warm and comforting on his back, but it's not enough to break through the haze of incredulity clouding Jongin's mind.  
"Jongin," the head priestess says. "Congratulations. You've shown your prowess, and the goddess of the moon has chosen you." She steps in close to him, her hand laid flat over Jongin's heart.  
"You are the new Second."  
It plays over and over in Jongin's head as the entire pack dips their heads to him. Up ahead on the rock structure standing at the head of the glade, even Leader and Second have their heads bowed to him, and Jongin sags heavily against Minseok as he realizes that the Second he's known his whole life is no longer Second of this pack.  
He is.  
He can barely hear Minseok's congratulations, can barely make out the world around him as he's led from the glade and into the medicine hut. The world blurs around him, and he faintly makes out the head priestess giving demands for the preparations for the ceremony to begin. The priests lead him into another area of the medicine hut where they strip him of his pants and urge him into a large basin of water that smells faintly of pine.  
It's not until Jongin is left alone soaking in the water that the shock breaks, and he can only press the back of his hand to his mouth before he sobs out loud. He's terrified. He's the Second of his pack; he's taking on a position that he's spent sun cycles preparing for but just as many cycles avoiding. He wants a romance straight from one of his grandmother's stories. He doesn't want this.  
With a jolt, he realizes the purpose of the sudden bath. He's going to be celebrated tonight, led through a ceremony according to the customs of the priests of the moon, and then he will be handed off to whoever the new Leader is. He shudders. The idea of mating is not foreign to him; he's knows the mechanics of it. The idea of mating with someone he doesn't love, however, sets his hands shaking again.  
Jongin sighs and sinks down into the water, holding his breath and trying to keep himself from sinking into actual crying. He scrubs at his arms and chest until the need for air becomes too much, and he rises up from the bottom of the basin, settling against the edge again.  
"It's okay to be afraid," murmurs through the water in Jongin's ear, and he shakes his head to clear them. Second, or maybe not Second, sits down at the edge of the basin, dipping her toes into the water. For a moment, with the scarred side of her face not facing him, Jongin can see how beautiful she was when she was his age. She probably felt the same confusion and uncertainty that he does right now.  
"Even when I'm blessed by the moon?" Jongin asks, sinking low in the water again. Second's runs her fingers through his hair, untangling the knots.  
"Especially then, if you believe that," she says.  
Jongin turns to look up at her, and her smile is gentle even if her eyes are a bit sad. "You don't believe in that?" he questions. "The moon goddess?" Second's touch is soothing, but her words are what actually gives Jongin any sort of sense of calm.  
"We shift from humans to wolves, and only omegas can resist the change during a full moon," Second says. "There is something out there that gives us these powers. But is it some goddess who determines our every move? I'd like to think not. I'd like to think I've been living my life of my own volition and free will."  
Jongin tries his best to breathe evenly, but his body is shaking to much.  
"It's okay to cry," Second tells him, and Jongin slumps against her thigh, letting her play with his hair as he lets the shock of his win run its course through his body.  
"Listen to me, Jongin," Second says. "You know what happens tonight, don't you?" Jongin nods his head. "Listen to me carefully. You can't say no." Jongin flinches. "The head priestess will check in the morning that the bonding was successful, but you can save a little something of yourself from your mate until you mean it."  
Jongin looks up at her and furrows his eyebrows. He's about to turn over his entire life and body to an alpha whom he has never met and to this pack. There is nothing of himself that he can keep private.  
"Don't kiss our new Leader," Second says. "Trust me on this. Not until you mean it."  
"And if I never mean it?"  
Second sighs. "Love can be learned, but it won't grow in a hardened heart." She gets to her feet then, turning to leave the room. "And one last thing," she says before she exits. "When the head priestess offers you a pouch, don't drink the potion."  
"Is it fucking wolfsbane again?"  
Second shakes her head. "It's some sort of potion they've concocted that temporarily sends you into heat. If you want to be you when you meet your alpha, please, just trust me and do not drink it."  
"I won't," Jongin promises. His stomach twists. He remembers the pain of the wolfsbane, and he knows the pain of heat. He's not going to willingly accept that into his body, but a horrid thought stirs at the back of his consciousness. Would accepting the drug make the night easier?  
Second nods to him.  
"Good luck, Second," she says, and Jongin chokes. "May the cycles of your leadership be blessed."  
"Wait," Jongin calls after her. "What do I- you're Second- your name?"  
"Hana," she says. "I'll see you in the morning."  
"You're not going to the celebration?"  
Hana shakes her head. "I'm going to spend some time with my children and grandchildren. I'm about to spend be five sun cycles without them, and I haven't seen Seokjin in nearly ten."  
"Oh," Jongin manages. "Thank you. For the advice."  
"You'll do well, Second," Hana says. "Goodbye, Jongin." She disappears then, and Jongin feels like his life as just another wolf ends at that moment. He picks all the dirt from under his fingernails and waits in the water until the priests return and urge him to get out of the bath. They dry his skin with soft cloth and hand him clean white pants to put on. On his shoulders, they drape a cloak of white fur- multiple winter rabbit furs sewn together.  
"We're going to walk out with you," the priest says. "Simply follow the head priestess' instructions. The ceremony requires nothing of you but an offering."  
"I don't have anything," Jongin says, but he's proven wrong when another priest walks in with antlers in her hands. On one side of the rack, marks that look an awful lot like wolf teeth are dug into the bone, and Jongin realizes the antlers belonged to the deer he brought back to win the second test.  
"Take these," the priest says in a soft voice, and dressed in white and holding the rack of the buck he had dragged across the pack's territory, Jongin walks out of the medicine hut.  
The moon shines brightly, set against a backdrop of dark navy and stars. In the glade, fires roar in all corners, and the main bonfire seems to reach all the way to the moon herself. With soft prods at his back by the priests to guide him, Jongin walks through the pack, heart racing as they all - both friends and pack members whom he's never met - bow their heads to him, murmurs of 'Second' reaching his ears. He tightens his grip on the antlers and moves to stand opposite the head priestess in front of the main bonfire. It casts an orange glow across much of the glade, and through the flames Jongin can just barely see the cabin where the new Leader waits for him.  
He knows nothing about the new Leader - doesn't know the new Leader's name or gender or face. Somehow, that makes this easier.  
"My pack," First shouts, and the only noise to interrupt the sudden silence is the crackle of the flames. Seungwan meets Jongin's eyes. "Second," she greets.  
"First," Jongin returns.  
The head priestess speaks next. "Tonight occurs only once every forty sun cycles, and we thank the goddess for this blessing of the continued strength of our pack." A murmur of agreement fills the air.  
"In order to ensure the prosperity of the pack, our Second will leave an offering for the goddess," the head priestess directs. She holds out a hand towards the fire, and Jongin steps forward at her invitation. "What do you bring?"  
"The rack of a buck," Jongin answers, hoping that he hasn't accidentally said something wrong. The head priestess simply nods, and Jongin tosses the antlers into the flames. The fire seems to stretch a little higher, a little brighter, for a brief moment, and Jongin returns to his original position.  
The head priestess is smiling. "Your offer has been accepted," she says, and Jongin imagines Minseok scoffing at that to settle his nerves. "The moon goddess always chooses well," the head priestess continues. "Before her now, repeat these vows that our new First has already spoken after me." She clears her throat, and Jongin licks his lips.  
"From now until a new Second has been chosen by the goddess," the head priestess says, and Jongin repeats the words loudly for the pack to hear. The conviction in his voice feels forced, but no one seems to notice. "I swear my life to the good of this pack, and I swear my body and companionship to my alpha." It doesn't seem right to Jongin to say vows like that for an alpha who is not even present to hear them, but he repeats the words anyway.  
"May forty sun cycles begin now, by the grace of the goddess of the moon."  
The words fall from Jongin's lips, and he can see that silver glow in the head priestess' eyes again. She nods to one of the priests, and he brings forward a leather pouch that reminds Jongin of the one he had been handed and subsequently poisoned with the contents. He accepts the pouch and holds it in front of him.  
"Drink," the head priestess encourages, and Jongin lifts the pouch to his lips. The smell of the potion inside is sweet, but Jongin does not drink, heeding Hana's words.  
"Now," the head priestess says when Jongin has returned the pouch to the priest's hands. "We eat, and we drink. We dance, and we celebrate." The great resonance of drums fills the glade, and chatter and excitement run rampant in the air, seeming to coax the flames of the bonfire into dancing along with the rest of them.  
"I suppose congratulations are in order," First says to Jongin, and Jongin jolts from watching the flames.  
"I- Thank you," he says, managing to catch himself before he protests. "For you as well, First."  
"We’ll be seeing a lot of each other, yeah?” Seungwan says. She dips her head. "Second." Jongin returns her bow, and he's not surprised at all when the next person Seungwan speaks to is Jongdae, his fellow omega's smile wide and his eyes bright. At least one of them will be happy, falling in love with a powerful alpha who chose him for him and not for some requirements of a ceremonial union.  
“You won’t banish me to the fields, right?” speaks low behind Jongin, and he whirls around, his white cloak flaring around him. Chanyeol stands there looking every bit as broad and powerful as he had the first moment Jongin had seen him. Any other day, any other set of circumstances, and their positions right now could be reversed. Jongin can respect that.  
“I’d be a fool to put a talented fighter in the fields,” he answers. “But we all do our part around here.”  
Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. “Are you going to keep working in the fields?”  
This time it’s Jongin’s turn to lift his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asks. “I’m Second, not exempt. I’ll pull my weight and set an example.” Chanyeol grins then, shaking his head.  
“You were always a better than me, huh?” The question seems to be rhetorical, but even if it’s not, Jongin has no response for that.  
“Congratulations,” Chanyeol finishes, dipping his head. “Second.” He walks away, and Jongin finds he doesn’t quite agree with Chanyeol’s previous question. He’s not sure, had the roles been reversed, that he would have had the grace to walk up to Chanyeol and congratulate him.  
It strikes him then how much he still has to learn versus how much he’s expected to already know. His pack expects him to be wise, and Jongin is not wise. Jongin a mere twenty sun cycles of age. He’s a good fighter, a good field worker, but he’s not a good Second.  
At least, not yet. He wonders when the need to prove himself to his pack will kick in and replace the haze of disbelief that all of this is real, that this is really happening to him.  
"Second!" calls out, and Jongin turns to see a glimpse of his mother's hair and dress before she's throwing herself into his arm. "My baby boy," she sobs against his neck. "I'm so proud. So proud of you."  
"Hi, Ma," Jongin murmurs, wrapping his arms tight around her. A sturdy hand settles on his shoulder, and Jongin's mom lets go of him just enough to pull her mate and Jongin's father into the hug. Jongin is glad he can say he didn't disappoint his parents, but them calling him by title instead of his name makes a sort of chasm open up in his chest. For a brief, panicked moment, he wonders if his heart is actually going to start bleeding.  
"My son," his father says against Jongin's hair. "Who knew you could fight like that?"  
"I worked hard, Pops," Jongin answers him. Part of him regrets it, but he doesn't say that out loud. His father laughs at his answer, ruffling his hair.  
"I'm proud of you too," he says. Jongin tries to grin at him, and he hopes the dark in the glade hides how wonky his smile feels.  
"Thanks, Pops."  
"Shall we get something to eat?" his mother asks. "I've seen just about everything there is being thrown on fires, and I'm starving." She nudges Jongin. "And you had that long fight today. Surely you're hungry?"  
"Not really, Ma, no," Jongin answers with an apologetic quirk of his lips. His mother gawks at him.  
"I have never seen you turn down food!" she exclaims. "Are you feeling alright?"  
"Nerves," his father says by way of explanation, cutting off anything Jongin could have said, any truth he might have imparted upon them, and Jongin doesn't want to correct him that 'disgust' is a part of it too. His parents are happy about this; they're pleased that Jongin has won such an important role in the pack. He doesn't want to disrupt their happiness. For this moment, he'll just enjoy the feeling of being with his family.  
"Ah," his mother allows, and what comes out of her mouth next is information Jongin never wanted to hear from her. "The first time is always a bit nerve-wracking, but I'm sure your alpha is perfectly attractive. Rugged, a bit wild. There's something wickedly wonderful about that sort of person. And if he’s male, you can't say no to a knot-"  
"Ma!" Jongin nearly shouts at the same time as his father does shout, "Byulhee!" His mother cackles, losing herself in her fit of giggles, and Jongin rubs his temples. It's weird enough to think about what he's about to be sent to do; it's even weirder to think about the fact that the whole pack knows- that his parents know.  
"I think we should go eat now," Sungkeun says. He throws an arm over Byulhee's shoulders. "Come with us?"  
"Okay," Jongin agrees because he has nothing else to do. He enjoys talking with his parents, and watching them as they eat feels like the last bit of his old life that he'll ever get to experience. His grandmother greets him with only a nod and a crooked, close-lipped smile, too invested in her food. The smell of meat cooking churns Jongin's stomach, and he can barely even think about consuming it without feeling sick. Everyone around him is happy, though. Jongin is in no place to destroy that happiness. A happy pack is a strong pack, and Jongin is in charge of them now.  
It's daunting.  
The butterflies in his stomach feel like they're trying to razor their way out of his belly. He wraps his arms around his stomach, and the white cloak shifts in closer around him. He watches his parents dance to the drum beats, talks with countless members of the pack as they congratulate him.  
"What did I tell you?" Taehyung's face seems to say the one time he manages to catch Jongin's eye, and Jongin refuses to look at him after that. He's Second now, and Taehyung had expected it all along. For some reason, even though it doesn't make sense, Jongin feels a bit betrayed by his cousin.  
Later, when the head priestess calls the pack together again, she asks Jongin to kneel in front of her. He does so, and the head priestess settles her hand in his hair before she tilts her head back and prays loudly to the moon in her too-smooth voice.  
"Oh, goddess," she begins. "Bless us here tonight who celebrate you. Bless this one here who has dedicated his life to your pack. Grant blessings upon him, and teach him the lessons that he needs to learn in order to become the Second that this pack needs."  
She continues on, repeating what feels like the same things over and over again until she suddenly stops and stares out over the pack with a gasp.  
"The time of the high moon is here," she explains herself. "It is time." She urges Jongin to his feet, and Jongin nearly swallows his tongue as comprehension dawns on him.  
"We will now send our Second to the cabin on the hill where our Leader waits for him," the head priest announces. The pack cheers, and Jongin wants them to not cheer, to pretend they're not there and pretend they don't know what is about to happen between him and the Leader that only a select few of them have met.  
"Who takes our Second to our Leader?" the head priestess asks. "Who releases him into the arms of another?" Jongin expects to hear his father's voice or maybe his mother's, but he does not hear either of them respond to the question.  
"I will," his grandmother's voice speaks. He twists, and his grandmother steps out of the throngs of the pack members. She looks so proud of him, and yet all Jongin can hear are the stories she's told him ever since he was a pup repeated over and over in his ears in her voice. "I will take my grandson, and I will release him."  
The high priestess nods in approval. "Then, Second," she says, looking directly at Jongin. "Go to meet your future with the blessings of the moon." The pack cheers and roars, and Jongin offers his elbow to his grandmother, walking away from the pack and fires and the priests and into the inky calm of undisturbed night.  
"Did you drink?" his grandmother asks once they've stepped away from the celebration. The old wolf keeps her hand tight around Jongin's elbow as they walk up behind the outcropping of rock towards the cabin where Jongin's new alpha waits.  
Jongin shakes his head. "No," he says. "You know about it?"  
His grandmother tuts at him. "There is very little I don't know about this pack," she tells him. "And that is one of our more disgusting practices. Inducing a heat. That won't lead to a strong bond between Leader and Second." Jongin squeezes his hand over the fingers wrapped around his arm.  
"I didn't drink," he restates. "Hana told me not to."  
His grandmother hums. "She's always been a wise one, that girl." She pats Jongin's arm. "You will be too. I know it."  
Jongin chooses not to respond, coming to a halt with his grandmother a mere ten paces away from the entrance to the cabin. Here, he feels like he's on the other side of the territory from the rest of the pack, the orange light of the fires dim and the heat not quite so intense.  
"I guess this is it," Jongin murmurs. "I don't know who I'm about to meet. I don't anything about this person, our new Leader, and I'm expected to bare myself and become part of a mated pair tonight." He bites his lip "How can they expect this of me?" His grandmother adjusts her grip, taking both of Jongin's hands in hers and lifting them to kiss the backs of his hands.  
"You will do what you need to do," she says. "As you have always done."  
"I'm scared," Jongin admits very quietly.  
"You would be a fool not to be," his grandmother soothes. She kisses the back of his hands again, and her smile is the only source of encouragement that Jongin has right now. "I release you," his grandmother says. "Go and meet your alpha, our Leader." The permission stalls Jongin, keeping him still, and his grandmother brushes her thumbs over his knuckles.  
"I wanted a story, Grandma," Jongin whispers, staring down at their conjoined hands. "I wanted to be swept away by some handsome alpha and be treated like the royalty in the stories you used to tell me."  
"I will always tell you stories, child," his grandmother tells him. "It might be something you're not interested in hearing, but listen when I say this: you could very well be in the middle of writing your own story, Jongin." Jongin, his grandmother had said - his name instead of his title. Jongin drops his grandmother's hands.  
"Do not worry, my boy," his grandmother says. "I know this will end in happiness for you."  
"You don't know that," Jongin refutes.  
His grandmother reaches up and brushes his bangs out of his eyes. "Don't I?" she asks. Jongin meets her eyes, and she grins at him, crack-toothed and all. "Sure I do," she insists. "The moon told me so."  
"It's always the moon, isn't it?"  
His grandmother shakes her head. "It doesn't have to be," she murmurs. "Follow your heart and become the story you wanted to be a part of, Warrior Beauty." Jongin leans in and kisses his grandmother's cheek, thanking her. She walks away then, heading back towards the celebration, and Jongin stares after her until the darkness has hidden her from his vision. He turns back to face a new darkness, a future he's now expected to fulfill.  
His steps are slow but steady, his heart racing but visage calm, as he takes the final few steps steps towards the cabin and the alpha whose side he will stand at for the rest of his life.  
Follow your heart, his grandmother had said. She's said that to him for years, and Jongin clings onto those words and the promise of happiness that comes with them as he steps out of his time as just Jongin and into his time as Jongin, Second. Become your own story, Warrior Beauty.  
~*~  
There is history here. It breathes through the walls of the cabin and whispers over Jongin's skin as he steps into the cabin. How many omegas before him have taken these very same steps, nervous and unsure, skin buzzing with the excitement of the celebration still ongoing. How many of them had taken the offered drug and burst through the entrance to the cabin with heat simmering low in their stomachs? How many had walked in the same way that Jongin does now - unwilling and scared of the future he's walking into.  
The scent of an alpha is faint here, muted by the scent of earth and burning pines. The familiar scents overlaying the one that Jongin has never encountered before help to ease his fear, but there is nothing to be done for the nerves that shallow his breathing and set his hands trembling.  
He steps out of the entrance into an open space, the ground decorated with furs and pillows colored with dark dyes. Jongin's family has never owned and pillows, but now, as Second, he is walking into the privilege that comes with being in the top tier of leadership for the pack. In the center of the room, a small fire crackles merrily, and its happy, carefree dancing is almost annoying. How unfair it is that on this night the fires can lick happily at the air while Jongin is drowned under the weight of a singular requirement.  
"Hello," Jongin speaks, and from the other side of the fire, the figure waiting for him stands.  
He's not tall, but he is distinctively male, body thick and sturdy. In the light of the fire, Jongin sees his hair has been cut short, the strands stained a bright red. He wears a pair of white pants, identical to the one Jongin had been dressed in, but he does not have a cloak of pelts of white hares thrown over his shoulders.  
He's handsome, undeniably so. But he's also Jongin's mate, and Jongin doesn't even know his name.  
"Hello," the alpha responds. His voice is not as low as Chanyeol's, but it is deep, tone rich and spinning around Jongin pleasantly. The alpha steps forward, and even if he is not even quite as tall as Jongin is, his strength is obvious. It's clear in the way he stands, in the set of his jaw, in the callouses turning the skin of his palms white. He's nothing like what Jongin expected, but then again, Jongin hadn't expected anything.  
"What's your name?" the alpha asks, and Jongin forces himself to hold his gaze steady on the alpha's eyes. The other wolf meets him evenly. He's not challenging Jongin, not leaning forward and asking him to back down. His stare is simply intense, and Jongin feels marginally like he's drowning as the alpha scrutinizes him, sizing him up in much the same way Jongin had done after greeting him.  
"Jongin," Jongin answers.  
"Kyungsoo," the alpha returns. "How many sun cycles are you?"  
"Twenty," Jongin whispers. Kyungsoo takes a step in closer to him.  
"I as well," he says. Jongin wants to scoff. The two of them, only recently removed from puphood, are now in charge of a whole pack. It seems more ridiculous than it does like a ploy of strength, but Jongin is in no mood to laugh.  
Kyungsoo's fingers close around the edge of the cloak Jongin is wearing, but he does not make any move to pull it from his shoulders.  
"Soft," he murmurs, and Jongin is not sure Kyungsoo is even aware he's spoken.  
"Ceremonial," Jongin corrects. Kyungsoo simply shrugs at that, releasing the cloak from his hold. It settles back around Jongin, and he shivers. Silence follows that, the two of them standing facing each other, neither speaking and barely breathing. The crackle of the fire is the only sound, the din of the celebration only barely reaching them. This close, Jongin can easily make out Kyungsoo's scent, and he hates how much it opposes the truth of the their situation.  
Kyungsoo smells like wild and freedom, smells like the pines and the terror of the forest. He smells exactly like what Jongin wants, and yet he too is just as trapped as Jongin is. He did not choose to be Leader; Jongin did not choose to be Second.  
He remembers the fight against Chanyeol, remembers the pause in time when he debated for a quick moment between defeating Chanyeol and letting the other omega get back to his feet. He wonders if maybe Kyungsoo went through something similar, if he too had a moment to decide his own future.  
After the silence has drawn out for too long, Kyungsoo sighs and steps back, moving to return to sitting on the furs around the fire. Maybe it's the sudden distance between them, or maybe it's Kyungsoo's completely lost expression, but words tumble from Jongin's mouth before he can stop them.  
"Welcome home," he says. "To our pack." There's a terrifying heft to that statement. It is their pack that they've both belonged to since birth, but now it is also their pack, the one they are now expected to lead. The phrase, though nothing particular warm, startles the corners of Kyungsoo's lips into pulling up. His smile is breathtaking, but Jongin wasn't breathing from the pressure of the situation anyway.  
"Thank you," Kyungsoo says, and Jongin nods at him. He shuffles forward towards the fire, settling down on one of the piles of furs. This cabin is comfortable, nearly luxurious, but the atmosphere is not. The two do not cancel each other out to make a neutral area; Jongin almost wishes they would.  
"Do you miss the mountains?" Jongin tries. He's not sure if he's stalling or if he's simply trying to make himself more comfortable; maybe it's a combination of both. Kyungsoo leans over and adjusts one of the logs in the fire, setting the flames flaring up just a little brighter. It's a warm night in Spring, but Jongin feels cold from his uncertainty. He welcomes the warmth of the fire.  
"It's different," Kyungsoo answers eventually. "Maybe I haven't been gone long enough to miss them. I can still see them from here." Jongin just nods sort of noncommittally. Kyungsoo glances over at him. "Being in here for three days alone hasn't really made being away from the mountains a good experience."  
Jongin draws his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. "How did- or. Um. How were you chosen?"  
Kyungsoo pokes at the fire again. "A tournament, same as you."  
"Did you want to be Leader?"  
"Maybe a little bit," Kyungsoo says honestly. "But those who desire to be Leader never are the ones who become Leader." He shifts to sit a little more comfortably on the furs. "I think it's the same for Seungwan. And maybe for you too?"  
"Yes," Jongin consents, and that same burn behind his eyes, the choking sensation, is back. He buries his face in his arms and tries to control the shaking so that he won't start to cry again.  
"Jongin?" Kyungsoo's concern is obvious, but he makes no move to console Jongin.  
"I'm fine," Jongin mumbles. "Really."  
"You're not," Kyungsoo states. He shifts, moving to sit next to Jongin. His warmth next to him is nice, and if they had been meeting under any other circumstances, Jongin probably would have welcomed his presence in such close proximity. "Neither am I."  
Jongin jerks up to stare at Kyungsoo's face.  
"You're not," he agrees after a moment of studying the alpha's expression and the tension of his muscles. "I'm sorry."  
"You shouldn't apologize," Kyungsoo says. "Fuck that. You should never apologize."  
Jongin raises an eyebrow. "And you should? We were both put here by some priestess with silver eyes who addles her mind with burning juniper."  
"Do you know what the last thing those priests said to me before leaving me here to wait for you is?" Kyungsoo asks. He sounds desperate and upset, and all Jongin can do is shake his head. He doesn't know. "They told me to mate you," he whispers. "They said to mark you and mate you to secure my position as leader. They said it doesn't matter if you don't want me to, that I have to do it anyway." Jongin's stomach twists up into knots.  
"They told me something similar," Jongin tells him.  
"Jongin, you don't even want me to touch you," Kyungsoo argues. "You flinched away when I sat down next to you."  
"I was startled," Jongin sniffs.  
"You're still not relaxed next to me right now."  
Jongin has no argument for that. "Still," he says. "I know what they- what we- I know."  
Kyungsoo looks absolutely miserable. "It's not right," he says. "It doesn't feel right for me to touch you when you don't want me to." That should be comforting, should make Jongin feel like he has some say in this, but the reality of the matter is that he has no say, he doesn't get to decide with whom he mates or when. It doesn't matter if Jongin is ready for this or not, and anger filters through him, red and blinding. It would be easiest if Kyungsoo would just take, not hold back and express his own concerns over the situation.  
It would be easiest if Kyungsoo were like one of those villains in Jongin's grandmother's stories, the ones who don't value their omegas, who use them for nothing but pleasure and pups. But Kyungsoo isn't like that- he's made that much abundantly clear. Jongin is never going to be okay with this situation that's occurring right now, no matter how gentle Kyungsoo is about it.  
"It doesn't fucking matter, does it?" Jongin nearly snarls. "It doesn't matter if you want to be chivalrous or courteous or whatever. We don't get that option!"  
"I'll just mark you," Kyungsoo tries to compromise. "As long as you're marked, then-"  
"The head priestess is going to check," Jongin growls, cutting the alpha off. "She's going to check to make sure we've bonded. Or else they can't finish the ceremonies and send off the Leader and Second whom we've replaced."  
Kyungsoo freezes. "I'm not prepared for this," he murmurs. "All of that training and I still don't have any fucking clue." Jongin closes his eyes. He understands that, but he also understands that they have something they must do together. The night won't last forever, and time runs short.  
"I know," Jongin sighs.  
"We were trained to fight, not question the demands of the goddess," Kyungsoo says, sounding absolutely broken. His shoulders slump, and he looks so small sitting there like that, facing Jongin. It becomes clear to him, in that moment, what Kyungsoo is waiting for, and Jongin swallows hard. He reaches out slowly, very gently brushing his fingers across Kyungsoo's shoulder and across the line of his jaw.  
"It's okay," he whispers, and he hopes he sounds convincing. He needs to sounds convincing; maybe then he can convince himself too. He runs his fingertips over Kyungsoo's eyebrows, smoothing the concerned pucker on his forehead.  
"It's okay," he repeats. "This is just-" He slides his hand down Kyungsoo's arm, encircling his wrist and lifting Kyungsoo's hand to where the white cloak is settled over his shoulder. He grabs the alpha's other hand and lifts it to the other side of the cloak, encouraging him to twist his fingers in the fur. "This is how things are."  
But Jongin isn't sure this is how things should be.  
The cloak falls from his shoulders, and Kyungsoo stares at him, eyes raking over his body, tracing him and learning him without touch. Even this much feels like more than Jongin is prepared for, but he steels himself, tugging open the tie that holds his pants up around his hips.  
Kyungsoo grabs Jongin's wrist then. "Wait," he says. "Wait. I- Jongin. We-"  
"We have to," Jongin says, and he cocks his head to the side. "Don't you want me?" Kyungsoo doesn't answer for a long span of a few heartbeats. His eyes are dark, and the smell of him, of freedom that Jongin has lost, almost makes Jongin dizzy.  
"I've been alone for three days," Kyungsoo says slowly, voice cracking. "And then they send me you."  
"Is that a problem?"  
"For my self control," Kyungsoo admits, and that's as much of an acknowledgement that he does want Jongin as Jongin needs. He twists his wrist out of Kyungsoo's grip and places Kyungsoo's hand against his chest. His fingers are hot against Jongin's skin, and Jongin tries his best to suppress his shudder as he reaches out to pull apart the tie on Kyungsoo's pants. His hand brushes over Kyungsoo's crotch, and Kyungsoo gasps, rocking up nearly imperceptibly into the faint touch.  
He doesn't want this. He has to do this. For Kyungsoo's sake, for his own sake, for the sake of the pack.  
"It's okay," he repeats for the third time. "You can touch." Kyungsoo inhales, and Jongin holds still.  
"It's okay," Kyungsoo echoes, and then he surges forward. Jongin turns his head, tilting his chin up, and Kyungsoo's lips land on his neck just over his pulse. Jongin's body reacts to the touch the way an omega is designed to react an alpha, but the way his heart races is not entirely from the sudden sparks that seem to light on his skin.  
Kyungsoo draws back. "Jongin," he sighs. "I can't- I won't-" Jongin stands then, letting his pants fall to his ankles and stepping out of them.  
"Kyungsoo," he murmurs, and he plants one knee in the furs, throwing his other legs over Kyungsoo's waist, pressing the alpha back against the furs, his hand on Kyungsoo's chest to balance himself. He not wet at all, his cock still mostly soft between his legs, but determination is something Jongin has never been lacking in. "Just feel," he urges Kyungsoo, rocking his hips back, brushing his ass over Kyungsoo's stiffening cock. "Just feel," he repeats to himself, and Kyungsoo lifts his hands to Jongin's waist. Jongin lays his thumb along Kyungsoo's collarbone, the other set against his ribs, and closes his eyes.  
He knows how to work himself up; he's taken care of himself through heats before. He knows how this works, and he knows what his body likes. If he can just shut down the part of himself that is still mad at the moon, close off the trails of thought that lead to how much he isn't ready for this, he'll be able to lose himself in the sensations that come with hands on his body, his cock, working him open.  
He rocks back again, and Kyungsoo lets out the breathiest little sigh that sets Jongin's spine tingling. He does it again and again until Kyungsoo is lifting up to meet him, his cock hard and pressed up against the seam of Jongin's ass.  
Jongin reaches back, and Kyungsoo's fingers dig into the skin of his waist, supporting him as he works to shove Kyungsoo's pants down his thighs. The first touch of skin on skin contact urges a gasp from Jongin's lips that draws out into a moan as Jongin grinds down. The slide is not quite smooth, and Jongin maintains the slow rocking, teasing himself and Kyungsoo into states of bliss and need. He drags his own hands up his stomach to flick over his nipples with his thumbs, and then back down to wrap his fingers around his own cock.  
Pleasure zips through him, and now his heart is racing with a state of arousal. This is okay, he tells himself. This is fine.  
Kyungsoo sits up suddenly, his mouth closing around one of Jongin's nipples, and Jongin arches. His knees slide on the furs, and suddenly he's pressed so much closer to Kyungsoo, his cock trapped between their stomachs, and the friction tightens the coils in Jongin's stomach. He feels like he's melting, the heat of the fire and the heat between them mixing and escalating.  
He's really dripping now as Kyungsoo works his mouth over Jongin's chest, can feel his slick sliding down the insides of his thighs, and Kyungsoo is rutting up against him a little faster, a little more frantic. He's moving like he means it, and Jongin's gotten himself so worked up that getting Kyungsoo inside of him is starting to sound like an even more excellent idea as Kyungsoo's little grunts and low moans of appreciation fill his ears.  
"Now," Jongin says, panting. "Now would be as good of time as any." His words aren't sexy, aren't all that inviting, but it seems to be enough for Kyungsoo who wraps his arms tight around Jongin's middle and flips them over.  
Jongin's back hits the furs, and he sinks into the softness of the pelts, spreading his legs and pulling Kyungsoo in between them. The alpha holds onto Jongin with a sort of gentleness that betrays his uncertainty, and the head of his cock pressed against Jongin's rim is on the verge of tipping Jongin into a state of absolute desperation.  
Kyungsoo's hands slide up the undersides of Jongin's thighs to his knees and then back down. He whispers apologies and maybe praises as he slips first one, then two fingers inside of Jongin, being more careful with him than Jongin's ever been with himself.  
"Now," Jongin repeats. "Kyungsoo, now." The alpha presses his lips to Jongin's collarbone as he slides in, the beginnings of his knot catching on Jongin's rim, and Jongin wriggles his hips, trying to get comfortable.  
"Fuck," Kyungsoo chokes against Jongin's neck. Jongin drapes his arms over Kyungsoo's back, urging him to move, to make all of this official.  
"Touch yourself," Kyungsoo urges, and Jongin listens, reaching down between them to wrap his fingers around his cock again, jerking his hand in time with Kyungsoo's thrust. His body responds only too well to this, all of the stimulation and pleasure racing through him. On a purely physical level, this is completely okay.  
If only Jongin were a purely physical person. If only leadership were a purely physical role.  
Kyungsoo moves faster and faster, and Jongin's hands and feet are tingling, starting to go numb from the onslaught of sensation. He grabs tight to Kyungsoo when the alpha's knot slips fully inside of him, pressing up against Jongin in all the right ways, and he throws his head back, digging his thumb into his slit before he comes.  
Kyungsoo grinds into him through it, and Jongin tightening around him triggers his own orgasm. He shakes, bottom lip caught in his teeth as he comes, and Jongin holds him as he comes down.  
They pant hard, staring at each other. There's no sudden spark of interest, no sudden desire to do that again. All Jongin wants it to dig his teeth into Kyungsoo's neck and call this ordeal finished.  
Kyungsoo licks his lips, and when he opens his mouth to speak, Jongin can see the tips of his canines as they extend in his mouth.  
"Mark me," he says. "You have to."  
Kyungsoo's eyes are dark with something more akin to sadness as he leans down and sinks his teeth into the juncture of Jongin's neck and shoulder. It's the most traditional place a mark could be placed, and Jongin hisses at the pain of it. Kyungsoo's tongue laving over the wounds brings some relief, but now they're tied together, Kyungsoo braced over Jongin as they try to avoid making eye contact.  
"Do you want to mark me?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin shakes his head.  
"Not right now," he murmurs. "Just. In a little bit."  
"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo says with utmost sincerity, and Jongin merely hums in response. He doesn't want an apology from Kyungsoo. He just wants to sleep and forget about this night.  
Kyungsoo's knot takes what feels like a small slice of forever to finally shrink, and when he pulls out, Jongin doesn't make any move to pull his now mate in close to him, to hold him through the night. He doesn't mark Kyungsoo in return.  
Now that it's over, there is nothing to stop Jongin from wallowing in the pain of accepting that all hopes of his life becoming one of grandmother's stories are dashed. He's Second of his pack and mate to a Leader whose name and body are the only parts of him he knows. He knows nothing else of Kyungsoo, and that's not romance. That's not what Jongin desires.  
He wiggles around in the furs, trying to find a comfortable position, keeping quiet as Kyungsoo gently wipes him clean and then throws one of the blankets over him. The alpha does not make any move to lie down beside Jongin, and Jongin does not offer him any sort of invitation. He buries his face in the furs and tries to block out the sound of Kyungsoo's breathing as the alpha falls asleep an arm's length away.  
The fire dims and dies, and Jongin finally drifts off as the first shadows of day begin to stretch across the floor of the cabin.  
~*~  
Chapter 2: II  
Chapter Text  
The morning comes with a displaced sense of familiarity. The pale light of broken dawn is relentless against Jongin's eyelids, streaming through the gaps in the cabin walls. The comfort of being wrapped in furs is expected, but the smell of ash from a dead fire and the stench of come and sweat are not.  
This is not a morning Jongin ever wanted to wake up to; if he could pretend all of last night, all of the past three days, never happened, he might be okay. But the sting of the claim marks on his shoulder and neck are not there to be forgotten. They're there to be remembered, to show off his status as a mated wolf.  
When Jongin was younger, he imagined he would be claimed by an alpha whom he trusts and adores. He should have known he was never destined to have that sort of happiness.  
Jongin shifts uncomfortably, too warm wrapped up underneath the blanket Kyungsoo had thrown over him last night. He feels like he's choking under the weight of reality, but that might just be the weight of Kyungsoo's arm draped over his shoulder. Jongin moves in an almost violent manner to shove the blanket wrapped around him off and away and to get out from underneath Kyungsoo's touch.  
He whimpers as soreness, a deep ache in his back and legs makes itself known, and Jongin claps a hand over his mouth at the noise. It's too late; Kyungsoo is already blinking awake, grumbling about heat and comfort. Jongin freezes, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to block out the memories of Kyungsoo's moans and Kyungsoo's hands on his skin. He tries to ignore the ghosts of the words he'd spoken, the assurances he'd given the alpha so that the two of them could fulfill the task they'd been assigned.  
Jongin grabs his pants from the floor, stumbling into them and pulling them a little too tight around his hips as if it will protect him from something that has already occurred. Kyungsoo rolls onto his back, stretching his arms up over his head, and Jongin looks down and away quickly, cheeks burning, when the blanket slips free of Kyungsoo's body.  
He's hard, cock curved up. He hasn't started to knot like he probably would if the cause were Jongin's scent, his nearness, the fact that he now belongs to Kyungsoo in the most intimate manner, but Jongin is irritated anyway.  
"Sorry," Kyungsoo mumbles, and Jongin jerks his head up to look at the alpha. Kyungsoo grabs the blanket, draping it over his lap, and Jongin grits his teeth.  
"For what?" Jongin asks, trying, and failing, to sound unruffled. "Nature?" He waves a dismissive hand at Kyungsoo's crotch, and the alpha sighs.  
"For cuddling you," he says. "For mating you. For marking you. Take your pick."  
Jongin sneers at him. "What did you expect?" he demands. "For us to be the first Leader and Second pair to not have to mate on the first night?" He rolls his eyes. "Stop apologizing. You didn't have a choice."  
Kyungsoo's eyebrows draw into a slant. "You say that, but you blame me anyway."  
That is an accurate statement, and Jongin swallows. "I don't," he denies. "Anyway, I think we can both agree I was the one who-"  
"Stop it, Jongin," Kyungsoo says, and his voice is darkly colored. "Don't lie to me."  
"Right," Jongin mutters. "Because I'm your mate now, and you can make all the decisions between us because you are the one who was born an alpha. You're the one who is Leader."  
"I expect you to tell me the truth on matters between us," Kyungsoo corrects him. "I have to take care of you."  
"Oh?" Jongin scoffs. "Take care of me?" He looks pointedly at the blanket over Kyungsoo's legs. "And you think I'm going to just let you? Do you expect me to climb onto your knot again and fall for you because you fill me so well?" His words are over-the-top and rude, but anger is a dangerous emotion that loosens Jongin's mouth and makes him blunt and cruel. "Why don't you just tell me to come over to you, then?"  
"Why would I?" Kyungsoo asks, and he's just as angry as Jongin is, his hands clenched into fists. He holds himself frighteningly still, eyes dark as he holds Jongin's glare.  
Jongin smirks, lips twisted into a semblance of a snarl. "So I can take care of you," he sneers, and Kyungsoo stands, leaping to his feet and stepping in close to Jongin.  
"Is that what you want?" he asks, taking another step. "To be fucked into submission?"  
Jongin growls at him. "It doesn't matter anymore if you want me," he says. "You have me." He points at the bit marks on his neck, and he steps back, putting just enough distance between himself and the alpha to give himself room to breathe. "You can fuck me anytime now. It doesn't matter."  
"Yes, it does," Kyungsoo snarls at him. "We did what we had to do, and I'm not going to make this worse by fucking you again out of simplistic need for pleasure."  
"So you don't want me?"  
"I want a strong Second," Kyungsoo snaps. "Mate is only a formality." The word burns through Jongin like a wildfire, and he grabs Kyungsoo, slamming him around and into the wall of the cabin they now call theirs. He presses his forearm against Kyungsoo's throat, the claws of his opposing hand resting in warning against the alpha's side.  
"Good," Jongin says. "Then I don't want you to touch me. Ever."  
"I won't," Kyungsoo says. "I didn't want to touch you last night. Like you said, I'm not suddenly in love with you because you can take my knot."  
"Good," Jongin repeats. "Don't sleep next to me. Just do your job leading this pack, and I'll do mine."  
"Fine," Kyungsoo agrees. Jongin glances down at the unblemished skin covering Kyungsoo's throat, considering.  
"One last thing," he says before he presses Kyungsoo back harder, holding him still as he dips his head and sinks his teeth into the juncture of Kyungsoo's neck and shoulder, a mirror of the mark Kyungsoo had given him last night. "It's only a formality," he says when he pulls back, wiping Kyungsoo's blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. Kyungsoo glares at him,  
"I hope you care about this pack at least half as much as I do," Jongin says, releasing Kyungsoo completely. "Because protecting them is the only thing that matters now."  
"I'm your mate," Kyungsoo mutters. "Don't forget that."  
"A formality, like you said," Jongin insists. "But you're pack too, and our Leader at that. So yes. You matter." They stare at each other for a moment, challenging the other to say something first. Kyungsoo sighs finally, breaking eye contact and moving to grab his pants. Jongin rubs at the blood now smeared across the back of his hand, and he watches the faint glimmer of fresh blood on Kyungsoo's neck where his teeth just were.  
A knock sounds at the entrance to the cabin.  
Kyungsoo straightens up, and Jongin holds up a hand. "I'll get it," he says. "Just tie your pants." He turns away from Kyungsoo then, and creating more distance between them for just a brief moment as he walks up to the entrance of the cabin is a relief. The moon goddess or his own skill has dictated him the best omega for the position of Second, but he's not about to give himself over to an alpha whom he doesn't know or love.  
Jongin pulls open the cabin door open, and he's not surprised to see the head priestess standing there, her shawl wrapped around her head and trailing down her back over her dress.  
"Good morning," she says. "May I come in?"  
Jongin wants to refuse her, to tell her she's not welcome here, but he doesn't have that option. He's Second now, and he must be an example to the pack in listening to the head priestess even though she is bound by pack law to follow his orders.  
"Of course," he says. "We were expecting you."  
"We?" the head priestess asks. "Already able to refer to yourselves as a unit," she observes, humming. "That's wonderful. The goddess of the moon has made the right choice." Jongin chokes down the rage in his stomach, the desire to correct the head priestess and say that this is not a good match, that he doesn't want this alpha or any alpha, is potent. Still, Jongin holds his tongue.  
"Of course," he says again because there's nothing else to say.  
"Jongin?" Kyungsoo asks as Jongin leads the head priestess inside. "Who's here?"  
"The head priestess," Jongin answers, keeping his voice sweet. Kyungsoo balks at the sudden change in his tone, but he remembers himself in time to dip his head to the priestess who returns his bow.  
"Leader," she greets. "You've had a lonely couple of days, but the good news is today you will be able to meet the pack. I'm sure your parents have missed you."  
"I'm sure," Kyungsoo echoes, a slightly sour note to his tone. The head priestess smiles, and Jongin tries not to focus on how much he appreciates Kyungsoo's obvious distrust of her. At least, if nothing else, they can agree on that much.  
"I came to verify that our Leader and our Second have taken the appropriate steps to ensure the success of the pack." That is an awfully careful way of asking if Jongin had let Kyungsoo fuck him, and it leaves a bad taste in Jongin's mouth. He turns to the face the priestess.  
"We took the necessary steps, priestess," he says. He points to his own marked shoulder and then to Kyungsoo's.  
"We are marked," Kyungsoo tells her. "Mated. Bonded. However you choose to call it."  
"So I see," the head priestess consents. "However, there is another portion to the requirements that claim marks cannot prove." She turns her gaze on Jongin, and cold, a sense of foreboding, rushes through him.  
"How do you plan to prove such a thing?" Kyungsoo asks her. "Is our word not enough?"  
"It is not that I do not trust you," the head priestess says. "For to do so would be to display a lack of trust in the goddess who chose you. However, the goddess also requires that I ensure you have actually knotted your omega."  
Jongin shakes. This nightmare - last night and this morning - feels like it's never going to end.  
"Second," the priestess requests. "Please remove your pants and bend over for me."  
Jongin withstands the need to shake his head and step back, but he absolutely refuses to let this priestess see him in such a manner. Baring everything to Kyungsoo had been bad enough; he's not ready to do something like that again in such a short span of time.  
"I am not sure anyone but my mate should see me like that," Jongin tries. Nudity is a common sight among the pack members. All of them strip out of their clothes before initiating a change, but no one bats an eye at that. That's nothing like the intimate view the priestess is requesting from Jongin.  
"Normally I would agree, but this is for the moon goddess," the head priestess argues with him. "Unless you have something to hide, the fact that you did not actually mate with Leader, perhaps, then this will be over quickly."  
"Trust me when I say we did mate," Jongin says. "Surely that's enough for the moon goddess. You already know me to be honest."  
"Second," the head priestess says. She suddenly sounds much stricter. "Do as I ask, please. The pack is already gathered for the release of our former Leader and former Second, and I do not wish to be delayed any further."  
Jongin takes a breath, and his hands shake as he brings them to the front of his pants, slowly, unwillingly, pulling the tie undone.  
"Stop," Kyungsoo's voice cuts through Jongin's panic, and he looks up to see the alpha holding out the rag he had used last night to wipe the come from their bodies. The head priestess pauses, eyeing the rag. "Here," Kyungsoo says, giving the rap a little resolute shake. "Proof."  
"Leader," the head priestess begins, but Kyungsoo gives a short shake of his head.  
"Here is all the proof of what we did last night," he says. The head priestess makes no move to touch the rag, and Kyungsoo lifts his chin, staring down his nose at her. "Don't touch my mate," he orders. "You have seen enough evidence here, and you have our words. Don't touch him."  
The head priestess is furious; it's plain as day on her face. However, even she cannot refuse a direct order from the Leader, and so she bows to them both.  
"We will being the release ceremony for our former leaders as soon as you both are present," she says, and then she turns and walks out of the cabin. The scrape of the door closing reaches Jongin's ears, and he collapses to his knees, burying his face in his hands. He's never felt more humiliated in his life.  
"Jongin?" Kyungsoo murmurs, too close and too concerned.  
"Don't touch me," Jongin responds immediately on reflex.  
"I won't," Kyungsoo assures, and Jongin just focuses on breathing. He can feel Kyungsoo close to him, and his instincts are calmed by the presence of an alpha even if his heart revolts at the Leader's claim over him. He takes his time to calm down and wipe his nervous tears from his face. Kyungsoo says nothing when Jongin pushes himself up to his feet, retying his pants, merely copies him in rising to stand.  
"Thank you," Jongin manages to tell the alpha, and Kyungsoo gives him a rather bland look.  
"It's just a formality," Kyungsoo reminds him. "But you're still my mate to take care of."  
Jongin doesn't offer any response to that, choosing instead to walk out of the cabin at Kyungsoo's urging. The alpha stands close to him, only close enough for Jongin to feel his warmth, his strength, but not his skin. He wonders if he should step closer, should let their arms brush. He has no idea what the pack is expecting to see from their leadership pair. Do they want to see what the pair that came before them have? Do they expect the awkwardness that comes with two people who have never met and have been suddenly forced together into a life-long bond?  
As it is, walking side-by-side with Kyungsoo, amicable by choice and not at all comfortable, he's toeing the line between truth and lies.  
The rustle of the ground, the slight murmuring of goodbyes, becomes clearer at Jongin and Kyungsoo step around the rock formation hiding their cabin from view. Jongin looks at everyone gathered, staring out over his pack, and a chill brushes down his spine when they all look back at him, dipping their heads.  
Silently, he leads Kyungsoo to the forefront of the rocks, not climbing them yet. They come to a stop in front of the former Leader and the former Second, their First, and the head priestess. The murmurings of the pack rise in volume, the hushed whispers all concerned with the presence of their new Leader.  
Kyungsoo shifts next to Jongin, and he glances over to see Kyungsoo's shoulders are ever so slightly hunched forward. He taps the small of Kyungsoo's back, straightening his own shoulders in a slightly exaggerated fashion for Kyungsoo to catch his message. The alpha straightens his back, and even if he is shorter than their former Leader, shorter than his Second, there is no mistaking his authority. The murmurs from the pack are excited, and Jongin scans them all, searching for his mother or father.  
His eyes focus on Taehyung first, and his cousin gives him a nod and a slight smile that's twisted by sadness. His eyes are fixed at a point below Jongin's face, and it takes Jongin a moment to realize he's staring at the claim marks scabbed over on Jongin's shoulder.  
"Blessings upon us all gathered here," the head priestess begins. "Might I first introduce to the pack, your new Leader."  
Kyungsoo takes a step forward, and the pack goes into an uproar at his presence. They chant his title, and an aching sadness fills Jongin as he realizes that no one but himself and the First will ever again call Kyungsoo by his given name. He will be Leader until the moment the next Leader takes his place and Kyungsoo is released.  
Jongin only knows the former Second's name because she told him, and he still doesn't know the name of their former Leader.  
"The ranks of leadership in our pack are complete," the head priestess says. "Our Leader, First, and Second all stand here ready to take full control." She turns then to the former Leader and former Second. "Do you entrust your pack to these three who have proved themselves before the sight of the moon?"  
Second speaks first, reaching out to grasp Jongin's hand. "I remove myself from my position of Second," she says. "I place my pack into your hands, Second." She looks to the pack. "I am called Hana, and I will be addressed as such until I die." Her words are formal, but they fall so readily from her lips. She's smiling, and she looks younger than she is. She's been ready to step down for a long while now, Jongin surmises.  
"I, too, remove myself from my position in this pack," the former Leader speaks. "I will no longer be called Leader, but Minyoung." She focuses on Kyungsoo then, and Jongin watches the stern set of Kyungsoo's mouth turn into a slight frown. "I entrust this pack to our new Second, our new First, and our new Leader." She bows to them, all three, and the pack echoes her.  
"Leader, First, and Second," the head priestess says. "You may ascend to watch your pack." Seungwan takes the first step up the rocks, and Jongin follows her, climbing up. From here, standing at Kyungsoo's side, Seungwan slightly behind them, he can see across the entirety of the glade and the haze of the mountains in the distance.  
"As per the rules that have been set so many cycles of the moon ago, Minyoung and Hana must leave the pack for a minimum of five sun cycles to ensure the transfer of power from their reign to our new Leader and Second. After that time, you are both welcome to return. Who says the final goodbyes?"  
Seokjin steps out from the crowd, his broad shoulders and height looking far more like the alpha Jongin would have expected to be mated to if he had been allowed to make his own choice.  
"Mama," he begins, holding out his arms, and Jongin's heart shatters as Minyoung breaks, hurdling into her youngest son's arms and holding him close. Hana steps in too, and Seokjin's whisper of "Mom" does not skip Jongin's attention as the wolf presses kisses and well wishes to Seokjin’s cheek. The head priestess begins to sing, her voice warbling over the hush of the pack as they all watch Seokjin walk with Minyoung and Hana out of the glade. The other priests join in the head priestess' song, and the words are ones of loss and goodbye.  
The singing continues until Jongin can no longer see Minyoung or Hana, can no longer catch their scent on the breeze. The priests only stop their song when Seokjin returns from escorting his mothers from the territory.  
"Do you think they'll return?" Seungwan asks. Jongin stares at the place where they had disappeared for a few moments.  
"They loved this pack," he says. "They have family to return to."  
"That's not really an answer," Seungwan presses, and Jongin shakes his head minutely.  
"I don't know," he answers. "But I hope they do."  
The three of them watch as Seokjin walks back into the ranks of the pack and the priests leave the glade, going back to the medicine hut. It suddenly seems so much more pleasant without their haunting song and the head priestess' presence.  
The pack stares up at them, fidgeting and waiting, and Jongin realizes, as he watches Kyungsoo blink, turning wide and bewildered eyes on Seungwan, that neither of them have any idea what to do next. There are a few murmurs from the pack, and Jongin takes a resolute step forward, distancing himself from the Leader and First.  
"Thank you," he begins. "This was a loss to our pack, but with any luck, we will see them again. For now, time continues on, and this forest isn't kind to those who don't take care of themselves." The pack nods, murmuring in agreement. Jongin breathes. He can do this. He has to do this; it doesn’t look like Kyungsoo and Seungwan are about to give any instruction.  
"Those working in the fields can return to work," he calls out. "The two omegas meant to run with the pups today can do that immediately." There are shouts of agreement, and some of the pups whoop, jumping up and running away with Namjoon and Jongdae tearing after them. The wolves heading off to tend the fields do so slowly, gathering into groups as they walk towards that end of the territory.  
Jongin looks at the alphas and betas still waiting for orders. "Anyone who is no longer required to work may return home," he says. "And I need a hunting party to bring food for those of us who cannot feed themselves." Almost immediately, alphas and betas step forward, gathering in front of the rocks where Jongin stands.  
"Seun- First will lead the hunt, and anyone left can tend to any repairs around the cabins and attend to anything the priests ask of you. Am I understood?"  
"Yes, Second," calls back to him, and Jongin nods.  
"Go on then." He twists around to look at Seungwan. "The hunting party is yours. Please tell me you at least know how to hunt."  
Seungwan at least has the decency to look sheepish. "Yes, Second."  
"Your party is waiting for you," Jongin says. "The medicine hut has records of how much needs to be brought back if you don't know." Seungwan dips her head to Jongin before he moves to scramble down the rocks, leading the hunting party away. Jongin waits until everyone has left the glade or is too busy scrambling around to pay attention to whirl on Kyungsoo.  
He grabs the alpha's wrist, dragging him down from the rocks and into the cover of the trees. The shadows slink over them, and Jongin whirls on Kyungsoo.  
"What the fuck what that?" he demands. "You're Leader. You can't stand there claiming that position and also be frozen in front of our pack. They were waiting for you to give orders!"  
Kyungsoo tries to step back, but his back his the wide trunk of a tree.  
"What do they teach you during your time away training if not how to lead a pack?" Jongin asks, and he can't keep the sneer from his voice.  
"How to fight," Kyungsoo answers. "How to hunt. How to protect."  
"Great," Jongin scoffs. "Everyone in this pack know how to do that. That's not going to make you stand out as our Leader."  
"They taught us how the pack works," Kyungsoo adds. "The history, the stories of the moon goddess, and the inner workings of the priests and us- you, Seungwan, me." Jongin rolls his eyes.  
"That's not hidden information-"  
"Battle tactics," Kyungsoo continues. "How to keep a level head and see things rationally." He's making a dig at Jongin now, and Jongin growls. Maybe this is what he wanted- for Kyungsoo to fight back, to hate this as much as Jongin does. Kyungsoo leans forward then, his fangs showing. "And they told us all about the importance of mating an omega."  
Jongin reacts before he can think about his actions. He shoves Kyungsoo's chest, throwing the alpha back a step. He pants hard as he steps down on the inside of Kyungsoo's foot, and the Leader cries out.  
"Until you figure out how to lead this pack, Kyungsoo," Jongin says. "I'll be Leader. I, at least, know what's going on around here." He doesn't mention that he has a huge advantage over Kyungsoo; he never had to leave the pack to train. Kyungsoo doesn't say anything about it either, but he does bare his teeth again.  
"You're an omega," he argues. "You're not cut out to be the Leader." Jongin closes his eyes for a second, trying to calm himself from the insult of those words. "You're my Second." Jongin doesn't stop himself. He swings his fist around, his knuckles cracking hard against Kyungsoo's cheek. He presses Kyungsoo back a little harder against the bark of the tree, and he watches Kyungsoo wince.  
"You're lucky tradition required me to let you knot me," Jongin murmurs darkly. "You don't deserve an omega like me." He steps back, releasing Kyungsoo. The alpha coughs, glaring up at Jongin.  
Jongin wrinkles his nose and turns, storming away.  
"Where are you going?" Kyungsoo calls after him.  
"To the fields to work," Jongin snaps back to him.  
"You're Second," Kyungsoo says. "You don't need-"  
Jongin spins on his heel, marching right back up to Kyungsoo. "Listen, Kyungsoo," he says. "We all do our part around here. We all put in the effort for the survival of this pack. Until you can wrap your head around that, I refuse to call you by your title." He doesn't stick around to see Kyungsoo's reaction, doesn't stay to argue with him further.  
He walks off across the territory, already missing his home with his parents and his grandmother. He's trapped with a Leader who doesn't understand what it means to lead, and Jongin refuses to bow to an alpha whose understanding of this pack is based purely on theory instead of intimate knowledge even if that alpha is his alpha.  
~*~  
The fields are a welcome familiarity that soothes Jongin's irritation. The smell of dirt and seeds and wet, the chatter and happy singing of those working, and the grumble of a lone pup complaining even as she powers through getting the most work done all calm him, and Jongin feels at home in his own skin as his feet sink into the soft, overturned dirt.  
"Second!"  
Jongin looks up, and Taehyung is kneeling in the dirt, waving at him. Beside him, face streaked with mud and grinning around her shout of triumph as she finally yanks a weed free from the soil, is Yerim. She drops the plant almost immediately after uprooting the plant and leaps to her feet, bowing to Jongin, the grin wiped from her face.  
"Second," she greets with a tone Jongin has never before heard from her. She's muted, her eyes not quite as bright and focused somewhere around his left ear. His marks, he realizes belatedly.  
"Yerim," Jongin says, and he opens his arms. She hesitates, and Jongin can feel something inside himself crack. He can stand taking control of the pack, but he won't be able to survive the demands of his position if the members of the pack whom he treasures most begin to isolate themselves from him. "Come here."  
Yerim looks to Taehyung, questioning. Jongin's cousin shrugs and waves her off towards Jongin. The pup steps forward slowly, not throwing herself into Jongin's arms the way she has for suns now, the two of them spinning around each other with the momentum of her body. The moment stretches out, and Jongin steps in finally, meeting Yerim's hesitation with his own impatience. Maybe it's desperation for a taste of normalcy, or maybe for physical comfort, that has Jongin tugging Yerim to him a little harder than necessary. Yerim squeals a little when she hits his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist on instinct.  
"Is this allowed?" she whispers. Jongin's never seen her so timid before, has never seen such withholding of affection from her.  
"Why wouldn't it be?" Jongin asks.  
"You're Second," Yerim stresses. Her arms around his torso are loose, held just away from his skin and only barely brushing against him as if touching him fully is no longer allowed. Maybe it's not, for all Jongin knows, but he doesn't care. He's Second, as Yerim said; he makes the rules now.  
"Give Second a hug, Yerim," Taehyung directs, standing up and brushing the dirt off of his hands on the seat of his shorts. "He's still him. The guy you've known for moons."  
"I'm not gonna get in trouble?" she asks, and Jongin sighs.  
"The only thing you might get in trouble for here is not being on the run with the rest of the pups right now," Jongin tells her. "Which," he adds, throwing a narrow-eyed look in his cousin's direction, "is probably more Taehyung's fault than yours."  
"She didn't want to go!" Taehyung protests. "She told me she wanted to see you, and I can't be held responsible when she pouts! It's highly effective!"  
Yerim whines and clutches onto Jongin tight, burying her face in his chest. He laughs, ruffling her hair.  
"You're supposed to run," he reminds her. "How am I supposed to know if Jeongguk and Sooyoung are okay if I don't have you to watch over them?" Yerim mumbles something unintelligible against his chest. She twists her hands in his shirt, poking his side.  
"Didn't want to," she says, and Jongin can almost hear the whine in her voice. He tugs on her hair, teasing. "Second!" she complains, and it sounds almost exactly like how she had said his given name only a few days previous.  
"You know I'll be introduced to the pack as an adult wolf and join the runs during the full moon soon," Yerim says, staring up at Jongin with bright, excited eyes. Jongin sighs and threads his fingers through her hair out of habit.  
"You won't have anyone telling you to run soon, is that what you're saying?"  
Yerim bites her lip, cheeks coloring. Jongin laughs. She’s got another couple suns to go before she’ll be seen as an adult wolf; she’s only fourteen sun cycles now.  
"Until then, pup," Jongin tells her, urging her to turn around so he can twist her hair into a knot at the base of her skull. "You have to go on runs with the other pups, yeah?"  
"Yes, Second," she answers. Her tone is respectful, but it's not different than the one she used in response to Jongin's orders before the tournament. He flicks the back of her neck gently, and Yerim ducks away before he can do it again.  
"Get back to playing with your weeds," Jongin urges her off, and Yerim all but flops right back into the dirt to attack another weed before it can grow and strangle the crops. Jongin watches her fondly, grabbing up her small pile of already-pulled weeds and jerking his head for Taehyung to follow him as he takes the weeds to one of the burlap bags already half filled with weeds from the other side of the field.  
"Does it hurt?" Taehyung asks, holding the sack open for Jongin to drop the dead plants into. He brushes off his hands, contemplating his answer.  
"Physically, no," he says after a moment. Taehyung hums in response, the corners of his mouth tilting down into a frown.  
"You want to-?"  
"No," Jongin interrupts. "I''d rather not talk about it." He snatches up the seed bag, and Taehyung shrugs, following him as he heads down the row. Taehyung hums their grandmother's favorite tune, leaning down to fill in the now planted holes in the earth, and Jongin lets himself be soothed by the sound. Without the words of the piece, he can almost forget that it is dedicated to the moon goddess and simply focus on the song that his grandmother taught Taehyung and himself.  
"After the sun runs from the sky," Taehyung sings soft under his breath, and Jongin jerks to look at him.  
"I'm not going to say I hate this," Jongin says, sudden and sharp, and Taehyung just stands and takes the bag from him, walking ahead of Jongin and continuing Jongin's task of dropping seed on the soft ground.  
"You've only been in this position formally for less than a moon, Second," Taehyung says, cutting through Jongin's declaration that he does, in fact, hate that he's now mated, that he does, in fact, hate that he's now in such a position of authority, and he does, in fact, hate that it's so easy for him to assume command even as the perceived distance between himself and his pack cuts deep into his heart. "Not even two days, really. You haven't been giving orders long enough to determine whether or not you really do hate this."  
"You don't know how it feels," Jongin argues.  
"No, but I know how you are," Taehyung responds not cruelly. "And I know you're stubborn. And I know you're determined to hate everything about this even if you realize that you're a good Second. Or to hate Leader even if you start to like him."  
"I don't hate him," Jongin says. It's only partially a lie. It's not that he hates Kyungsoo- it's that he doesn't respect him even if he appreciates his actions with the head priestess this morning. "But that doesn't mean I like him, either."  
Taehyung gives him a rather unimpressed look before he turns down another row, dropping the corn seed at even intervals. Jongin follows behind him, leaning down to fill in the dips in the ground with soil. It's humbling, after Yerim's display earlier, to feel the ache in his back and knees as he follows behind Taehyung, his hands dark brown with mud stains as he works in the fields.  
He looks around as he works, watches the rhythm of his pack as they prepare for the fall harvest to help them through the winter. Their stores are running low now this time of year, but the wild forest berries will be ripe soon, and he'll have to send out gathering parties alongside the hunting parties to supplement until the fall yields the year's harvest.  
Jongin says a short prayer in his head for a good harvest this year. He's been through rough winters without a bountiful store, and he knows the devastation it leaves on the pack. He doesn't want to ever see that for his pack, and he doesn't want his first winter as Second to be tainted by harsh, icy memory.  
The morning passes slowly, and Jongin lets the repetitive motion calm his thoughts. He joins in singing alongside with his packmates, enjoying the way the song fills the fields and bounces off the sky as they work.  
"Pups are back!" Jongdae yells out, and Jongin jerks up, watching Jeongguk and Sooyoung race each other into the fields, nipping playfully. Namjoon, still in wolf form, stands next to Jongdae, shaking his head and swiping at Jongdae's leg with a paw when the other omega flicks the wolf's nose.  
"You lot get to work!" Jongin's mother calls, and the collective grumble that rises up as the pups shift back into human form and tug on their clothes eases a laugh from Jongin.  
"It's really not difficult to see where you get your bossy side from," Taehyung muses next to him. Jongin considers shoving him, but he doesn't want to risk the heavy bag of seed in Taehyung's arms falling to the ground.  
"Like Uncle is any better," Jongin mumbles. Taehyung just laughs, and Namjoon, now standing in human form, shoving his shaggy hair out of his eyes with a sigh, and Jongdae walk up to them. Jongin tries to hide his wince when Namjoon steps directly into a recently planted spot, packing the soil too tight. Judging by Namjoon's sheepish face, he's not entirely successful.  
"Those kids are fast," Jongdae says with a whistle. Namjoon pants exaggeratedly for emphasis.  
"And I'm sure not a single one of them caught up to you," Jongin says.  
"Obviously," Jongdae says. "There's not a single wolf in this pack who can catch me."  
"Omegas have to be fast," Taehyung says. "Otherwise, the Chase would be too easy."  
"Speed isn't necessary if you're clever," Namjoon tries to argue, but Jongin has to cough through his amusement when Taehyung stares pointedly at his foot settled in yet another freshly planted gap in the field.  
"Right," Taehyung says. "Clever."  
"The Chase is all ceremony now anyway," Namjoon adds, glaring at Taehyung. "Falling in love is much preferred."  
"Does the Chase even apply to two omegas?" Jongdae asks, tapping his chin in thought, and Jongin jolts, staring at his fellow omega. He doesn't know the answer to that question; the Chase used to be reserved solely for alphas and omegas, the alpha chasing after the omega until the omega wolf was caught and wrangled into submission. While that sort of force is no longer tolerated in the pack, the basic idea of the ceremony still stands to represent the bonding of two wolves who have chosen each other.  
It's something Jongin used to look forward to- leading his chosen alpha on a chase through the woods until he grows bored of the event and allows his alpha to catch him and claim him. He'll never get to experience that now.  
"Why would you even ask that?" Namjoon demands with a lopsided pout.  
Jongdae shoves him, cracking a grin. "Everyone knows exactly who you've had your eyes on for suns now," he says and sighs dramatically. "Ah, if only he were here. We could call him over and ask what he thinks of two omegas doing the Chase."  
"Well, Jimin isn't here," Namjoon snaps. "So it doesn't matter, even if I did like him. Which I don’t."  
"Oh, but," Taehyung barges in, eyes lit with mischief. "No one mentioned Jiminnie's name."  
Namjoon flushes bright, and Jongdae and Taehyung break out into twin cackles.  
"Alright," Jongin says, cutting through their fun, deciding to have a little mercy on Namjoon. His face looks horribly sunburned with how red he's become in his embarrassment. "Taehyung and I have some work to do, and you both have some pups to make sure are doing their work."  
Jongdae keeps laughing. "Sure thing, Second." He grabs Namjoon's arm. "Come on, Cleverness, let's go before Second decides to join in on the fun and none of our work gets done." Jongin watches them go, Jongdae's words ringing in his head.  
Being Second doesn't mean he can't have fun anymore, but this type of fun, joking about like and love, leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.  
"Don't think about it too much," Taehyung soothes. "Let's just plant, yeah?"  
"Yeah," Jongin agrees, and he's grateful for his cousin picking back up his humming as they get back to work. Jongin keeps one eye on the pups, especially Yerim and her weed-pulling. This is his pack, and he doesn't mind that. He just wishes this were his pack with an alpha he loves at his side as Leader. Jongin shakes his head and lets himself sink into the mindlessness of the routine of planting.  
Taehyung and he make it through another few rows of planting before a howl, high in pitch, non-threatening, rings over the fields. It's the voice of Jongin's mother, her call clear and familiar.  
High noon has arrived. Jongin can feel it in the burn of the sun, high in the sky, on his back, and the tops of Taehyung's forearms look a little pink.  
Taehyung throws him a happy grin. "The day is over," he sing-songs, walking off with Jongin trailing behind him to return to the bag of seed to the supply pile located where the corners of the four fields meet. Before the tournament, Taehyung and Jongin could have gone hunting now, they could have gone to play in the river, they could have found some of the pups and played tag in the forest.  
Now, Jongin is Second, and the day is not yet over for him.  
"Second," greets him as he and Taehyung move to stand with the other wolves coming in from the fields.  
"Hi, Ma," Jongin returns.  
"I didn't realize you had come out to work," she says. More wolves come to stand around them, waiting for their dismissal for the day. A little ways away, Namjoon and Jongdae round up the pups, repeatedly shushing them as they wait.  
"I just needed-"  
His mother holds up a hand to cut him off, setting it on his shoulder. Her thumb brushes over the teeth marks scarring his skin, and Jongin jolts, shifting under her touch so that her fingers can no longer come in contact with his claim marks. "This is your pack," she says. "We are glad to see you still a part of it." She doesn't reply directly to what Jongin had wanted to say, that he needed a taste of familiarity to shake off the suddenness of yesterday and last night, but Jongin thinks she understands his unspoken words. She's his mother; she should know at least this much about him.  
"Thank you for the hard work today," Byulhee says to all the gathered words, and there are some exaggerated pants from the pups and whoops from those who are ready to go play and enjoy the rest of the day. "Second, since you're here..." Byulhee's words fade out, but Jongin is already stepping to stand beside her, looking at the wolves gathered around with dirt-smeared hands and faces.  
"Tomorrow," Jongin begins, "I will see you all back here. Thank you for your time." The wolves all dip their heads to him, and Jongin takes comfort in Taehyung's smile.  
"Thank you, Second," is chorused back at him, and Jongin returns the slight bow to his pack.  
"Dismissed," he says, and the quiet shatters, the pack members breaking into continuous chatter and laughing at each other as they head away from the fields.  
"You'll do just fine," Byulhee tells him when it's only her and Taehyung remaining in the center point of the four fields. "Will you be bringing our returned pack members here tomorrow?"  
Jongin raises an eyebrow. "Should I?" he asks. His mother nods.  
"They need to be introduced to pack life sooner or later," she says. "And we need all the help we can get on the fields if we want to make it through the winter."  
"I'll bring them," Jongin tells her. His mother smiles, throwing her arms around his neck.  
"Ma!" Jongin protests, and Byulhee plants a wet kiss on his cheek.  
"Go off and play," she says and turns to waltz off in the direction of the home Jongin was born and raised in. He swallows the whine in his throat. He would like to go home too, to sleep in his own room, but he can't. Kyungsoo is expecting him, and the pack is expecting him to stay with their Leader.  
"I have work to do," he tells Taehyung.  
"Yeah, you do," his cousin agrees. "I'll see you later, Second."  
"Yeah," Jongin murmurs, but he waits for Taehyung to wander off first, meeting up with Namjoon and Jongdae at the edge of the fields before they all take off sprinting in the direction of the river, chasing after the rambunctious pups.  
Jealousy coils in Jongin's stomach, and he turns to walk determinedly back towards the main glade. Maybe if he walks fast enough, he'll be able to leave his own yearning to play with his friends and packmates behind. It's best for the pack if he can let his foul mood fade away before anyone notices.  
Jongin manages to swallow the worst of his mood by the time he gets back to the glade. Only a day previous he stood here in wolf form, ready to fight Chanyeol for the position of Second, and now, here he is, in mated and in a position of command.  
He forces himself to breathe evenly and swallow back the bile rising in his throat.  
Noise, yips and frustrated growls, come from the edge of the glade, voices that Jongin doesn't recognize. He tugs the ties on his pants undone immediately, stepping out of them and dropping them next to a pile of shirts and pants left behind by the alphas and betas he sent First out with this morning.  
Following the sound of the wolves and shifting into his wolf form. He slinks forward, walking up to the crest of the hills that surround the glade.  
A low growl echoes, and that's a low tune that Jongin knows. Seungwan is back with the hunting party, the betas and alphas growling at each other, arguing over a giant moose left lying on the ground in the midst of the wolves. Seungwan growls again, and silence follows.  
Jongin barks.  
Attention snaps to him, and it's then that Jongin notices the giant moose has two prominent sets of teeth marks on its neck. It's a dispute over who killed the beast, then, and Jongin has very little patience for something like this.  
He barks again, padding down to the wolves and snatching up a beaver in his jaws. He jerks his head, a clear order for the others to follow him with the kill, and the growls ring out again. Jongin drops the beaver and whips back around, snarling deep in his chest. Beside him, Seungwan does the same, and the argument ceases, the wolves ducking their heads and tucking their tails as they grab the rest of the prey and trudge into the glade.  
It takes three of them to haul the moose into the center of the clearing, and the wolves stand tense around a female alpha and a male beta who bare their teeth at each other. The moose alone takes up half the pile, but the amount is exactly what the pack needs. Seungwan, at least, can follow orders and make sure others adhere to them as well.  
Jongin shifts, nodding at Seungwan, and the First barks softly at the others, signalling for them to shift too. They do, and Jongin keeps his eyes focused on the two wolves who still hold themselves as if they're in dispute even in human form. In this skin, Jongin recognizes them- Juhyeon and Yoongi.  
"What is going on?" Jongin asks even though he already knows from the state of the moose's neck. Juhyeon and Yoongi are too busy snarling at each other to answer. Juhyeon takes one step forward, her nails lengthened into wolf claws.  
"Don't move," Jongin orders, and Juhyeon freezes. Yoongi smirks at her. "Tell me what is going on," Jongin repeats. "Now."  
"It's my kill," Juhyeon explains, eyes blazing. She gestures towards the moose.  
"It's not," Yoongi argues with her, the slant of his eyebrows distinctly unimpressed.  
"It is!" Juhyeon insists. "My teeth were in its neck when it fell. You just managed to get an extra bite in that makes it look like you killed it."  
"It's the other way around, and you know it," Yoongi hisses. Juhyeon growls.  
"Stop," First snaps, and Jongin steps in between the two arguing wolves.  
"In this pack," he tells them, flicking his vision back and forth between them. "It doesn't matter who killed this moose. It was a group effort. That's how we survive around here- as a pack."  
"But-!" Juhyeon starts. Jongin snaps his gaze to her, and she quiets.  
"This isn't a tournament anymore," Jongin says. "You're not fighting for strongest, and no display of nonchalance will get you anything extra." At this, he looks pointedly at Yoongi, and the wolf's upper lip curls.  
"We all work together. Am I understood?" Jongin asks. He receives a chorus of 'yes, Second' in response. "Another dispute like this will not be tolerated, and you will be not be allowed on the pack run for three moons if I hear of something like this again." There are grumbles in response to this, low whines of displeasure. The punishment is harsh, but Jongin can't allow dumb rivalries over who-killed-what to weaken the pack when Kyungsoo and himself are doing enough to weaken it by not getting along.  
"Go get your clothes," Jongin sighs. He points at the kill bleeding on the ground. "Bring all of this to the priests. Juhyeon, Yoongi- if the priests ask you to take any of this to a family in our pack, you will do so." They bow to him. He turns to Seungwan. "First, you can go tell the wolves who went to work in the medicine hut that they're free too."  
"Sure," she agrees. First waves a dismissive hand, and the other wolves scamper off to grab their clothes before they get to work dragging their kill over to the medicine hut. Seungwan taps his shoulder, and together the two of them walk to pick up their own clothes.  
After Jongin has his pants on and Seungwan is in her shorts and shirt, the First leans in and whispers quietly, "Thank you for settling that."  
"Omega," Jongin reminds, and he feels almost proud of that fact. "Peacekeepers."  
Seungwan gives him a grin then, nose scrunching up in a sign of approval. "So, am I free for the day too?"  
"I suppose," Jongin answers. Seungwan's face splits into a wide, dimpled smile.  
"Do you know where Jongdae is by chance?" she asks, and she looks so excited at the prospect of seeing Jongin's fellow omega that the answer tumbles from Jongin's mouth before envy can clamp it shut.  
"The river," he says. "With Namjoon and Taehyung."  
"Great," Seungwan squeals. She turns to go but pauses suddenly, giving Jongin a very serious look. "This is going to get easier," she promises. "At least, I hope it will." Jongin picks at his thumb nail.  
"I hope so too," he says more to himself than to Seungwan. First walks away then, humming as she heads over the medicine hut to relieve the alphas and betas working there from their duties. She's a good First, Jongin thinks. She's unsure of some things right now, but she'll learn. That's why Chanhyuk is still here and not exiled like Minyoung and Hana. He's here to be an advisor if they need him; Minyoung and Hana are gone to solidify Kyungsoo and Jongin's positions as Leader and Second. Maybe Jongin should talk to Chanhyuk and learn from him.  
Jongin really doesn't want to do that. He's done alright today, hidden his true feelings and given orders much the same way he'd grown up watching Hana do for the pack. Right now, he's thirsty from working in the fields, but he has very little desire to go toward the main areas of the river where the others are playing.  
He turns to look towards the mountains where the river cuts through. It's a bit further away, but it's quiet. Jongin could really use some quiet right now. The past few days have been long and loud, and Jongin doesn't see that changing anytime soon. He misses the river.  
The walk through the forest is an almost lonely affair. Jongin wishes Taehyung were with him, his laughter enough to fill the gaps between the trees. and it's enough of a reminder that he's meant to be with a pack when the sound of his own breathing is a hollow reminder of how alone he is right now.  
The water is colder up here only about an sun shift away from the others. If Jongin closes his eyes and concentrates, he can almost hear the jovial voices of his pack mates over the sound of the river rushing. He shakes his head and strips off his pants again, stepping into the river. The rocks are slippery, but Jongin's been playing in the river since before he was trained to fight. The water stings at the bite marks on his neck, and Jongin wonders briefly if the longing for company he feels in his gut is a now instinctive urge to be next to his mate.  
He shoves that thought down. He doesn't want to be near Kyungsoo right now. He doesn't even know where Kyungsoo is, which is another problem Jongin doesn't care to address.  
The water tastes sweet, but it can't numb the dull aching in his chest.  
"Second," speaks from behind him, voice low and withdrawn, and Jongin spins to see Kyungsoo standing at the river bank. He crouches down, and Jongin steps back closer to the shore.  
"Kyungsoo," he says in reply, keeping his tone distant. He pulls himself up on the bank. "Where have you been?"  
"Out," Kyungsoo answers. "Border patrols. This is my territory to protect. I'm Leader now."  
Jongin snorts, but internally he cringes. He'd completely forgotten about border patrols, and he hadn't sent one out. One wolf isn't enough to check the borders of the expansive territory Jongin's pack lays claim to, but one wolf is better than no wolves. "Right," Jongin says. "Doesn't mean I'm going to call you Leader."  
"Should I not call you Second then?" Kyungsoo asks. Jongin just shrugs, standing up and pulling his pants over his still-damp legs. "Should I just call you Jongin?"  
"I am Jongin," Jongin answers.  
"So it's not an insult," Kyungsoo muses.  
Jongin tilts his head, trying to shake water out of his ears. "I guess I want to hear my birth name from someone."  
"Even if that someone is me," Kyungsoo whispers, and he sounds oddly broken. Maybe he's been feeling just as lonely as Jongin has been today. They're both new to this- both leadership and being mated.  
"You and Seungwan are the only ones who can say it now," Jongin tells him. "It's going to be another forty suns before the pack will call us by name again. And how many of them will be pups who never even knew we had names beyond 'Leader' and 'Second?'"  
Kyungsoo remains silent, and Jongin takes this as his cue to start walking back towards the main glade, his simple afternoon ruined. Neither he nor Kyungsoo speak as they walk back towards the glade. Kyungsoo's breathing doesn't fill the space around him the way Taehyung's laughter does, the way Minseok's commands and Sehun's grumbling did, but it's better than wallowing in his own heart beats.  
It's not until they reach the line of trees just before the woods thin into the glade that Kyungsoo's whisper pauses Jongin's walking.  
"Jongin," he murmurs low, and Jongin turns to look at him, an eyebrow raised expectantly. Kyungsoo swallows, and in the dimming light of the sun, pink beginning to stretch across the sky, Jongin can at least appreciate the strength that resides in Kyungsoo's frame. The shadows stretching out from the marks on Kyungsoo's make Jongin feel a little nauseous, and he does his best to ignore the feeling.  
Those marks, the imprints of his teeth, were supposed to be impressed on the skin of someone he loves.  
"I went hunting for us," Kyungsoo tells him quietly. "I wasn't sure you would have time to for yourself, so-" He cuts himself off, and the nausea rolls in Jongin again.  
"I should make sure everything is fine with- uh. With the pack." Jongin stumbles through his words. He tries to breathe evenly, but this is something he hadn't expected.  
"Alright, good," Kyungsoo says, his voice halting. "But you have to eat."  
"I'll eat," Jongin promises. "I will. At the cabin." He can't say 'our cabin;' they're not really a unit yet.  
"Good," Kyungsoo says, and he walks off then, strutting out into the glade. Jongin waits a few moments before he follows him, and he halts at the edge, watching Kyungsoo walk past the pack members that see him and bow to him, murmurs of 'Leader' on their lips. He swallows his growl. Kyungsoo should greet them too. He's just another wolf; he shouldn't treat them like that.  
As Second, Jongin isn't sure it's his place to say something, but he rushes out, making sure to greet every person Kyungsoo saw as he makes his way over to the medicine den.  
The head priestess is there, and her smile is far too wide to be comforting.  
"Hello, Second," she greets.  
"Priestess," Jongin returns. "I'm just making sure everything is alright here?"  
"Ah," the head priestess hums, dragging the note out. "Having new wolves working here today was a bit of a stress, but it's good to see you integrating everyone into the pack." Jongin doesn't respond to that; he's not sure there is an appropriate response. "Despite some of the difficulties of today, no, Second, everything is fine. And your mother said you were at the fields today, working hard as always."  
A chill runs down Jongin's spine. The head priestess has never seen him working in the fields before as far as he knows. Is her declaration an assumption or supernatural knowledge? Jongin is banking on the former.  
"The moon goddess chose well," the head priestess continues. "Our pack is lucky to have you." She adjusts her scarf over her head. "I wonder who she will call to be the next priestess in my stead."  
"I don't know," Jongin says, taking a step back. "If everything is alright, then-"  
"Yes, yes," the head priestess dismisses. "Go back to your alpha."  
"Goodnight," Jongin says to be congenial.  
"Moon goddess' blessings," the head priestess responds, and Jongin takes his first real breath since stepping inside the hut in the moment that he exits it. He wanders up to the outcropping of rock at the head of the glade, climbing it carefully in the dim lighting. The pack is quieting, returning to their own homes as the day winds to a close, and Jongin should do the same.  
Except Jongin's home doesn't feel like home.  
He wonders if it ever will.  
When the stars have chased away the last of the orange light, Jongin slides carefully down from the rocks and trudges up the path towards the cabin. He can see the faint orange glow from inside the cabin, and the second he steps inside, the smell of rabbit roasting reaches his nose.  
"Jongin?" Kyungsoo calls out. Jongin pads inside, heading straight for the pile of furs he'd slept in last night. It's the only comfort he knows in this cabin so far, and he chooses, knowing its childish, to not even try to branch out.  
"Here," Kyungsoo says, holding out one of the legs to Jongin who takes it as carefully as he can to avoid touching Kyungsoo's fingers. If Kyungsoo notices, he doesn't say anything, and Jongin bites into the offered food.  
It's good. He just can't quite bring himself to say 'thank you' as he and Kyungsoo finish off the Leader's catch.  
"I think we should sleep out here," Kyungsoo says once they've shoved the uneaten bits away and licked their fingers clean. Jongin holds his breath, waiting for Kyungsoo to continue. "I think it's just better that neither of us stay in a private room until we're both ready for what that means."  
"What does that mean, Kyungsoo?" Jongin asks, but he already knows.  
"It means we're really a mated pair," Kyungsoo says. "Right now, it's just-"  
"-a formality," Jongin finishes for him. He points to a pile of furs a little distance away from his own. "Sleep there, then."  
Kyungsoo agrees easily, and Jongin rolls over, facing away from the alpha and letting sleep claim him before he can dwell in the hollowness spreading in his chest that the sound of Kyungsoo's breathing does nothing to fill.  
~*~  
Jongin walks into the glare of the morning sun with his body still lethargic from sleep. He had been too exhausted to be bothered by Kyungsoo rolling over close to him again, eyes too heavy with sleep for him to even consider getting up and moving to the other side of the main room. Yesterday's work hadn't been more strenuous than what Jongin has been used to for the past ten sun cycles, but the mental stress had worn him ragged more than a dozen sparring matches ever could.  
Kyungsoo was still sleeping when Jongin woke, slipping out from underneath the alpha's light touch on his upper arm to dart outside before his eyes had even begun to adjust to the early light. He tries to glare at the sun but ends up sneezing instead for his trouble. His second sneeze becomes a long, drawn out yawn that he shakes his head to clear.  
Another day has come, and Jongin has things to do.  
He walks down to the main glade and steps into the field of green, sinking his toes into the long grass. The pack is just starting to wake up, alphas and betas, both returned from the mountains and ones Jongin has known all his life, gathering near the outcropping of rock at the head of the glade. He sees Minseok and Changmin there along with a few of the other mentors he'd seen only a few days ago during the tournament. Seungwan is already there asking for volunteers, and while this would be exactly what should be happening, Jongin needs these wolves for something else today.  
"First," Jongin calls out, walking up to him.  
"Hey, Second," Seungwan greets. "Good morning."  
"Hunting party?" Jongin inquires.  
"Those who hunted yesterday are staying here today," Seungwan tells him. "Those who stayed are going to hunt."  
Jongin gives her an apologetic look. "Can you save that for tomorrow?" he asks.  
Seungwan's eyebrows furrow. "Why?"  
"The fields," Jongin answers. "I would like to introduce everyone to the fields as soon as possible." Seungwan regards him for a moment, slight confusion on her face.  
"So you want me to take a group of older betas hunting?"  
"No," Jongin informs. "I want you to come to the fields too."  
"And who will hunt?" she asks.  
Jongin scoffs. "You all saw the tournament. There are plenty of omegas who can take on that role."  
There's a tense moment between First and Second, alpha and omega with equal influence over the pack. At least, it should be equal, but right now Jongin is just a step ahead of the First and another step ahead of the Leader. He's been here longest; he knows this pack best. However, the alphas and betas who returned with Seungwan and Kyungsoo know the other two heads of the pack better than they know Jongin. They didn't grow into adulthood around omegas, and to have one suddenly in command of them must be jarring.  
Very quietly, Jongin whispers to the First, "Jongdae would be insulted if you thought him incapable because of his status."  
Seungwan's eyes widen before she breaks eye contact and takes a step back, relinquishing her command to Jongin.  
"Of course, Second," she says. "If you think that's best."  
Jongin breathes, reaching out to brush his fingers against Seungwan's wrist to say 'thank you.' He turns to the alphas and betas gathered in front of him, watches their slightly confused frowns.  
"Slight change of plans," he says to them. "Changmin, will you take a patrol up to the mountains to make sure foxes haven't moved into the training grounds up there?"  
"Yes, Second," he agrees, and one female alpha Jongin recognizes and one beta Jongin doesn't break apart from the group. "Is three enough?" Changmin asks.  
"It's your safety," Jongin tells him.  
Changmin nods. "We will return tonight." Minseok grabs the alphas hand before he can walk off with the two other alphas. Changmin turns to look down at his mate, and the beta doesn't say anything, only gives him a hard expression that Changmin returns with an equally serious stare before both of them break into wide smiles. Changmin leaves then, walking off across to the opposite side of the glade towards the mountains.  
"I'll lead the border patrol," Minseok offers. Jongin looks at his former mentor, and other mentors are already moving to stand beside him. Jongin gives him a nod.  
"Wait for Leader," he commands. "And then go."  
"Yes, Second," Minseok agrees.  
"The rest of you come with me," Jongin directs. "We're going to the fields." There aren't any complaints, but no one follows Jongin with any excitement. He beckons Seungwan to walk beside him as they all cross the glade, heading for the four fields that supply the pack with most of their food when winter sends much of their prey into hibernation.  
"What were you all told about the fields when you were away training?" Jongin asks.  
Seungwan bites her lower lip and lowers her eyes, watching her feet as they step into the forest.  
"Seungwan," Jongin urges quietly.  
With a sigh, she admits, "Omega duties." First pushes her hair out of her face. "We were told omegas are the ones who run the fields, and for us- well. All of us were training to become Leader or First. We never considered the possibility of standing underneath an omega's command."  
Anger boils in Jongin. If he hadn't already hated the tournament system for destroying the childhoods and choices of those born in the years of the moon goddess, he would have begun to hate it fully now. "Omegas and betas and alphas work in the fields," Jongin tells Seungwan. "But because omegas are usually better at controlling their instinctive need to run and fight, it's easier for them to maintain the fields over many moons."  
"Them?" Seungwan questions. "You talk as if you're not an omega."  
"I prefer to run," Jongin admits. "Like I said, this is usually the case, but not always." First simply hums in response to that, and they keep walking in terse silence.  
"Second," breaks through their silence, and Jongin turns to see Seokjin stepping in close, almost positioned right between First and himself. The son of Jongin's predecessor glances at Seungwan for permission and then looks at Jongin when she only shrugs. "Second, I'm just curious if you expect us to work the fields every day?"  
Jongin's eyebrows slant down. "No?" he says. "Some of you may decide you prefer field work, but my only goal is for everyone in this pack to understand that everyone is capable of fulfilling any duty asked of him."  
"But-"  
"Trust me, Seokjin," Jongin says. "None of us- Leader, First, or I- would disregard the individual strengths and weaknesses of our pack members." At least, Jongin hopes the other two agree with his statement. Seungwan throws him a pleased, if not slightly surprised, smile.  
"Okay," Seokjin says. "I trust you."  
Jongin knows he does so because it is required of him. He hopes that one day all of them will trust him because he's earned it.  
The bustle of activity that constantly fills the air around the fields reaches them just before they step out of the trees. The alphas and betas behind Jongin spread out into a line behind him and Seungwan, and their presence does not go unnoticed by anyone near them. If the scent of unfamiliar alphas and betas wasn't enough to attract attention, Jongdae's happy shout is.  
"First!" he hollers across the field, jumping up from in between rows of wolves working hard to get all of the spring planting done to catch Seungwan's attention. He looks ridiculous, but Seungwan is ducking her head, failing to hide her amusement. He's suddenly tackled back to the ground by Jimin, and Seungwan lurches forward as if to go over to him. Jongin sets a hand on his shoulder to calm him. Jongdae pops up again in the next second, and his wide smile looks almost painful.  
"Second!" is called out next, and that's his Uncle Beom's voice. Jongin blinks. Is his mother not here today? Beom jogs up to them, looking across the line of alphas and betas that Jongin has brought with him.  
"New recruits?" he asks, joking.  
"Of a sort," Jongin returns, cracking his own grin. His uncle is a lot like Taehyung, and being near him puts Jongin at ease. "The last time they've seen the fields was ten sun cycles ago, so. They're beginners."  
"Initiation," Beom muses. He smiles at the alphas and betas shifting uncomfortably on their feet as they survey the work going on in the fields. Jongin's uncle jerks his thumb over his shoulder towards the farthest field from where they're standing. "Byulhee's over there. If you want to go grab her, and I'll introduce the basics to our returned warriors." Jongin nods.  
"Alright," he tells his uncle. "Alright," he repeats a little louder, turning to look at the alphas and betas he'd brought. "This is Beom.” He waits for attention to focus completely on his uncle before he continues. “He’ll give you the basics. Please give him due respect.” First moves to stand beside Beom and enforce Jongin’s words. “I’m going to speak with the forewoman.” He steps back, and Beom’s easy transition into talking about which crops are grown in which field this sun cycle eases Jongin enough for him to walk away to the farthest field.  
His mother sees him before he gets there, and the question in her expression fades when she glances behind Jongin to see her brother speaking with the alphas and betas, First keeping them all in line.  
“Good,” she says when they’re within speaking distance. “You brought them.”  
“You asked me to,” Jongin reminds her. Byulhee cocks her head.  
“Yes,” she agrees. “But you’re Second. You’re not obligated to listen to me.”  
“Haven’t grown out of that habit yet, Ma,” Jongin tries, and his mother laughs.  
“You were never in that habit,” she tells him. Jongin offers her a cheeky grin in response. “Come on then,” Byulhee continues. “I’ll get these wolves oriented with their jobs for today, and you can…” She wiggles her fingers.  
“I need to gather some of the omegas here,” Jongin says. “I sent the old hunting parties on patrol with Leader, and those who would be hunting are here with you to learn the fields.”  
Byulhee clucks her tongue, thinking. “I can’t lose too many wolves,” she says. “This is the critical season.”  
“I know,” Jongin says. “But we still need a hunting party. I’m bringing you hands to work instead.”  
“And I need people to watch them and make sure any jobs I give them are being done correctly,” Byulhee adds. Her tone is unyielding, and for the first time, Jongin learns what it’s like to see his mother not as his mother but as the valuable pack member that she is. His mother has been in charge of tending these fields since before Jongin was born, and he needs to respect that.  
Still, his mother needs to recognize that he brought her the alphas and betas like she requested, and there has to be some sort of pay off. He glances over his shoulder and takes a quick head count.  
“I brought you thirteen wolves,” Jongin says. “I will take six with me to hunt.”  
“That’s fine,” his mother agrees easily. “Most of them are over there.” She points towards the field opposite of the one they’re standing in now. “I’ll go ahead over there with your uncle.”  
Jongin throws her another grin and heads off to where he can see the omegas his age working hard with the pups.  
“Heyo, Second!” Taehyung greets first, and Yerim and Sooyoung are on their feet in an instant, abandoning their planting to run at Jongin. They slam into him, and Jongin can’t hold up against their momentum, reeling backwards. He grabs them both around the middle, pulling them in close to his chest as he falls flat on his back in the dirt.  
Sooyoung laughs, and Jongin holds his breath to stop the groan of pain in response to the girls' elbows in his stomach from escaping his mouth.  
“Seulgi!” Jimin shouts. “You should join them! Revenge.”  
Jongin lets go of Yerim and Sooyoung and sits up just in time to see Seulgi choose to flatten Jimin into the dirt instead, and he misses Jimin’s response when Yerim and Sooyoung use his chest to push themselves back up into a sitting position.  
"Are we all crushing Second today?" Taehyung asks. He sounds far to excited, and before Jongin can get out a 'No!,' he's squashed back onto the ground with Taehyung on top of him. Laughter surrounds him, Jongdae's cackles soaring above everyone else, and Jongin can't be mad. Joking around like this, playing like this with the pups and his fellow omegas, he needs this. His chest feels light even with Taehyung's full weight pressing down on him.  
"Hey," Taehyung whispers in his ear. "There are a bunch of alphas and betas over there. Something going on?"  
"Introducing them to the fields," Jongin wheezes. "Get off."  
"No fun," Taehyung pouts. He pokes Jongin's cheek and proceeds to push himself up, holding his hands out for Yerim and Sooyoung, helping them up.  
"Here, Second." Jongdae steps up in front of Jongin, holding out his hand. Jongin grasps his fellow omega's forearm, letting himself be pulled into standing.  
"Thanks," Jongin says. Jongdae nudges his shoulder with his own.  
"Your mom is staring over here," he says, a note of urgency to his tone. Jongin glances back to confirm that sure enough, Byulhee is staring, arms crossed and fingers tapping on her upper arm in her impatience. "If you've got something we need to do, better sort it out now. Byulhee is a terror if we don't get out work done." His eyes spark like he's teasing, but Jongin knows his mother. Jongdae is completely serious.  
"Right," Jongin starts. "Okay. Pups, back to work." Yerim and Sooyoung whine, and Jongin frowns. "Where's Jeongguk?" he asks.  
Taehyung copies Jongin's frown. "He didn't show today. His dad said he's sick, but I'm not sure that's entirely true. He's sixteen sun cycles." He doesn't say anything else, but it isn't necessary. Jeongguk is almost of age; his body is preparing for the winter. He'll probably have his first heat this year.  
"Okay," Jongin says. "I can go check on him later."  
Taehyung grins. "His mom is home with him."  
"I'd still like to make sure he's okay." Taehyung puts his hands on his hips, and Jongdae nudges Jongin's shoulder again.  
"Really, Second," Seulgi tells him. "Who else could take this position but you?"  
It's high praise, but Jongin shrugs it off. "I would check on him whether or not I was Second."  
"And this is why you are," Seulgi adds. "So what's up? Why are all of them here?" She jerks her head in the direction of the alphas and betas. Beom is looking over at him now, and Jongin realizes too late he's wasting time.  
"I need a hunting party," he says.  
Jimin lifts an eyebrow. "And they aren't party enough?"  
"Thirteen wolves?" Seulgi cuts in. "On a hunt? Are you insane?"  
"Anyway," Jongin cuts in before Taehyung can say something obscene about Jimin's mental state. "They're all here to work here in the fields. I need a hunting party to replace them. And I need some of you to stay here and instruct them."  
"Let's go over there first," Jongdae suggests. "Maybe we'll figure it out before we get over there." Jongin sighs doubtfully.  
"You just want to see First," Jimin accuses. Jongdae leers at him.  
"Maybe," he says, drawing out the word.  
"Let's go, boys," Seulgi orders, throwing her arms over their shoulders. "If we don't, Byulhee is going to destroy you."  
"Yes, ma'am," Jimin pipes in, taking off towards the alphas and betas. Jongin beckons for his mother, following after the other omega, and the group with him walks beside him, keeping up their joking.  
"Hey!" Taehyung bellows as they pass the first field on their way to the waiting wolves. "Sehun! Taemin! Chanyeol!" He waves frantically at them, and the three omegas glance at each other.  
"What about Namjoon?" Jimin pipes up, pointing over towards the second field. Seulgi gives him a dubious look.  
"Namjoon on a hunt?" she asks, eyebrows raised. "Besides, isn't he figuring out some system for getting water to the crops?"  
"With Yixing, yeah," Jongdae adds.  
"What's going on?" Taemin asks. Seulgi grabs his hand, and pulls him in close.  
"Hunting party," she tells her friend. Taemin's face lights up with determination, and he throws Jongin a near pleading stare. Jongin gives him a slight nod.  
Taemin isn't the best hunter, but he's an amazing tracker.  
"The returned alphas and betas are gonna do field work today?" Chanyeol asks, and Jongin meets his gaze.  
"Yes," he says. "You know they need to learn."  
"Yes," Chanyeol agrees. "I just didn't realize it'd be so soon." Jongin doesn't have a response for that, so he lets the conversation drop.  
"Finally," Byulhee says as they all step into line across from the alphas and betas. She's standing directly across from Seungwan, and Jongin steps forward to stand with the First.  
"Have you sorted out who is working where?" Jongin asks. His mother gives him an affirmative nod.  
"Namjoon and Yixing will stay here working," he tells her. "Of the omegas here, who volunteers to come hunt?" Taemin steps forward immediately, and Chanyeol grabs Jongdae's arm and drags him forward. Jongdae throws him a glare, but Chanyeol doesn't relent. Jongin's grateful. He can't leave the omega here with his alpha of interest- work does have to get done today.  
Seulgi offers her services for hunting, and Jimin steps forward with her.  
"Taehyung?" Jongin asks, having expected his cousin to volunteer. Taehyung shakes his head.  
"If it's alright, Second," he says. "I'd like to stay and work here."  
"Okay," Jongin agrees, startled. "Sehun?" Jongin's former training partner agrees easily, stepping out of line to join the others.  
"This is six," Byulhee interjects quietly.  
"Alright," Jongin says. "You six with me. First, please make sure there are no mishaps."  
"Sure thing, Second," Seungwan says with a salute. She waves at Jongdae, and Jongin swears he sees his friend's eyes start to sparkle. They all turn then, ready to part ways, but one alpha steps towards them, eyebrows drawn.  
"This is a hunting party?" Juhyeon asks, stepping forward. "A bunch of omegas?" Seulgi snarls at that, spinning around and pressing in close to Juhyeon- a threat. The omega is taller than the alpha, but Jongin can see the way her hands shake at defying an instinctively higher status of wolf. All of the omegas - those with Jongin and those staying behind - bristle at the insult.  
"Yes," Jongin snaps, stepping in between them. He curls his fingers loosely around Seulgi's elbow, hoping to calm her. He raises his chin and his voice, speaking to all present alphas and betas. "I know you all have been gone from this pack for ten suns, but surely you haven't forgotten that omegas pull their own weight just as much as alphas and betas do. You saw all of us in the tournament, so you've seen first hand that we are all capable wolves." He fights to keep his voice steady.  
"Insulting our fellow pack mates will not strengthen our pack," First continues after Jongin. "A swallow of wolfsbane tea- that's what you'll get should I hear of any sort of insult like this again." She glances at Jongin who nods.  
"Great," Byulhee says, cutting through the tension. "Let's all get to work then."  
Jongin leads his hunting party away, glancing repeatedly over his shoulder at Juhyeon. That's twice she's caused issue, and he hopes she calms soon. Being surrounded by omegas after years of being solely with alphas and betas can mess with an alpha's head; Jongin hopes her brother being there will keep her calm.  
"Are you okay?" Jongin asks Seulgi when they're all out of earshot.  
"FIne," Seulgi answers, tone short. "Pissed."  
"I'll find us an elk or something," Taemin promises, coming up to walk beside Seulgi. "Take your frustration out on its neck."  
Seulgi grins, long canine teeth showing. "Definitely."  
"Okay, okay," Jongdae starts. "It's bound to be that some of them who were up in the mountains are total fuckers, but what First did?" The omega makes a big show out of swooning, and Chanyeol shoves him in response. Jongdae doesn't even flinch. "She's perfect."  
"Yeah, yeah," Seungwan shoots at Jongdae. "You're happy in love with the girl you've known for five days. Lucky you."  
"I am," Jongdae agrees, batting his eyelashes at her.  
"Let's shift," Jongin says, dropping his clothes at the treeline.  
"Oh thank the goddess," Seulgi says, rolling her eyes. She strips quickly, and the others follow suit. Seven sets of feet become seven sets of paws, and talking ceases, all of them watching Jongin's body language for direction.  
Although Jongin has never hunted with a large group of omegas before, he's been on plenty of hunts with betas and alphas during his training; he knows how this works. With this smaller group, Jongin can't designate two wolves to carry kill back to the glade as it's caught, but with Taemin stepping into the lead, nose to the ground, it probably won't be long before they've got a buck and a moose to drag back.  
Jongin has never been much of a tracker, preferring to wander around until he finds something, but Taemin has them on the tail of a herd of deer in what feels like mere moments from the time they all shifted.  
It's a successful hunt, and Seulgi's clear pride when they drag in an elk and a doe to the reception of Juhyeon's shocked face has Jongin shaking his head, nudging his fellow omega in warning. She whines but complies with his unspoken order to not provoke Juhyeon.  
"Clothes," Taehyung says, stepping forward with an alpha at his side that Jongin recognizes from the night after the second test. Taehyung has a wad of clothing in his arms, and the alpha at his side is also carrying a bundle of the omegas' clothes. They drop them on the ground, and Jongin's hunting party shifts, searching for their own clothing tangled in the piles.  
"Thanks," Jongin whispers to his cousin.  
"Not a problem," Taehyung says with a wave of his hand. "It'd be silly to make you go all the way back to the fields for a pair of pants."  
"Do you need these taken anywhere?" the alpha beside Taehyung asks, looking over at the two large animals dead on the ground.  
"They need to go to the medicine hut," Jongin answers slowly. "And the priests will take care of the distribution."  
"I can take them?" the alpha offers.  
Jongin blinks a few times. "If you want to, I won't stop you." After a second he adds, "What's your name?"  
"Hoseok," the alpha answers. He jabs a thumb at his chest. "Don't worry, Second. I'll take care of this." He strides off, grabbing Yoongi and Seokjin and yelling for Juhyeon to 'pick a friend and come help.' Seungwan throws Jongin a sideways glance.  
"He offered," he says, watching as Junmyeon and Juhyeon march over to help out their fellow wolves with draggin the doe and the elk to the medicine hut.  
"I'll go tell them they're free for the day," First says. “And tomorrow I’m switching the hunting parties.” She walks off, and Jongin dismisses the other omegas. He thinks briefly that Kyungsoo doesn't know to release the wolves he sent on patrol with him. Minseok will probably tell him gently, Jongin hopes. He turns to his cousin.  
"So that is why you wanted to stay and work," Jongin states, raising an eyebrow at Taehyung. His cousin shrugs, stealing a quick glance in the direction of the medicine hut.  
"He's nice," he defends. "And funny." He tacks on, "I enjoy his company."  
"So you-"  
"I don't love him," Taehyung continues. He's in his serious mode, the one that means he's trying to tell Jongin something without directly saying it. "I'll leave love at first sight to Jongdae. Maybe in the future. Maybe we're just friends. We have to get to know each other first."  
"Oh," Jongin says. "That works for some people."  
"Sometimes we don't get what we thought we wanted," Taehyung adds. "Or we get things we didn't expect. That doesn't mean everything is ruined." Jongin chooses not to respond; he hears Taehyung. He understands his cousin's words perfectly.  
"I'm going to go to the river," Taehyung says. "You want to come with?"  
"Second," interrupts Jongin before he can find a way to decline.  
Jongin turns around to see Chanyeol, and he throws a quick apology to Taehyung who shrugs and walks off towards the river. "Chanyeol?"  
"I want- can I talk to you?" Chanyeol stutters. Jongin furrows his eyebrows.  
"Yeah?" he says. "I'm pretty sure that's part of my position." Chanyeol gives a weak little laugh, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  
Jongin catches his hint. "Do you want to go somewhere private to talk?"  
Chanyeol gives him a grateful nod, and Jongin throws him a smile. "Follow me." He leads Chanyeol up the path towards his cabin with Kyungsoo. It's oddly cold inside without Kyungsoo there, but that's probably just the lack of the fire Kyungsoo has lit both nights they've slept there.  
Jongin shows Chanyeol to the main room, and they sit down together, closer than Jongin sits with his own mate. Chanyeol is quiet for a long moment, and Jongin waits patiently. He could be worried about Kyungsoo coming back, but it's just past high noon. With a comforting presence like Chanyeol's here, the cabin suddenly feels a lot more like it could be his home.  
"Please don't take this in a bad way," Chanyeol starts. "But the full moon isn't too far away."  
Jongin blinks. It's not that he'd forgotten about the cycle of the moon per se; it's more that he hadn't been thinking about it.  
"Oh," he says intelligently. "Right."  
"It's just," Chanyeol presses on, "that you didn't expect to be Second? Even though we all kind of knew, and I just- the full moon. It's the pack run. Your first run as Second, and Leader's first run ever. It's important."  
"You've thought about this," Jongin observes.  
"A little," Chanyeol admits, sheepish. "My grandpa wanted me to be prepared in case it was me."  
"I asked if you wanted it," Jongin reminds him, and his heart rate picks up, a little bit of that rage at his fate that he's been burying under his skin bubbling to the surface. "I would have stepped back. I would have-"  
"The moon goddess would never have let that happen," Chanyeol interrupts. "You're the best choice. The strongest omega wolf."  
"Does strength mean good leadership?" Jongin demands. Chanyeol flinches. "Does that automatically mean I can lead a pack because I'm good in a fight? Because I can hunt?"  
"Well, no-"  
"I was stubborn and competitive," Jongin tells him. "And now I'm Second. That's how it works."  
"The moon goddess-"  
"Chanyeol, I don't give a fuck about the moon goddess." Silence covers them both at Jongin's admission, and Jongin clamps his mouth shut. He shouldn't have said that. Chanyeol's eyes are wide, mouth gaping open as he stares at Jongin.  
"You-" he whispers very quietly. "You can't say that."  
Jongin doesn't respond. He can't respond. There's nothing to say. Chanyeol is quiet for another long moment.  
"I won't say anything," he says. Jongin could have ordered that of him, but he's grateful he doesn't have to make that sort of demand.  
"Thank you," Jongin returns.  
"Should I leave?" Chanyeol asks.  
It'd be easiest if Chanyeol just left. Jongin could go back to the glade to wait for Changmin's party to return and pretend he never admitted his doubts to Chanyeol. He takes in a breath.  
"No," he says. "Tell me whatever it is you wanted to tell me." Chanyeol blinks, and Jongin's shoulders sag. "You can't have only wanted to say that the full moon is coming!"  
"No!" Chanyeol defends. "It's. More."  
Jongin waits.  
"You and Leader need to be prepared for the run," Chanyeol says finally. "And if you can't synchronize enough, then let First and Jongdae run the pack. But this is still your first run as the leadership pair, and you should do it."  
"But?" Jongin prompts.  
"But there can't be any rift between you two," Chanyeol murmurs. "The pack can't know."  
Jongin's eyes go wide. He leans forward. "And how did you know?" he hisses.  
Chanyeol stares at him. "I didn't," he answers, and his voice is open and honest. "This was all advice from my grandpa." Of course, Jongin thinks. Of course Chanhyuk would notice. He's seen this before. He knows what goes on between Leader and Second; at least, he has an idea from watching Jongin and Kyungsoo's predecessors.  
"He's been talking to First ever since she was decided," Chanyeol tells Jongin. "But he said he's waiting for you and Leader to come to him. Like he thinks you might not need him."  
Jongin doesn't say it out loud, but he thinks it: we definitely need his advice.  
"I'll talk to Kyu- to Leader," Jongin says. He swallows. "Thank you."  
"I'm sorry," Chanyeol says.  
"You needed to say it." Jongin pats his fellow omega's knee. "It's okay."  
"I meant I'm sorry you're not happy," Chanyeol amends. He stands up then, and Jongin follows him. He refuses to be waiting in the cabin when Kyungsoo comes back, and Changmin should be arriving back before dusk. It strikes him belatedly that he should check on Jeongguk too, and he picks up his pace, angling himself towards the pup’s home. "I hope some day you will be," Chanyeol adds on right before they walk into the glade. Chanyeol jogs off towards where Jongin suspects must be his family’s cabin because it's definitely not the direction of the river. He doesn't get to tell Chanyeol that he hopes so too, not that he could have brought himself to say out loud that he does want happiness, but...  
He really hopes so, too.  
~*~  
The spring continues, dragging on in the same routine day after day, each one warmer than the previous. each one bringing them closer to the full moon. It gets easier - leading a pack with the help of Seungwan. First, with Jongdae guiding her and Jongin taking command whenever Seungwan isn't so sure of the next best move, is an excellent leader. But there's something about her that's lacking, and it becomes more and more obvious to Jongin that whatever that lacking something is is the reason Seungwan is First and not Leader.  
Still, Jongin hasn't seen anything from Kyungsoo that proves him to be the perfect Leader the way the head priestess would lead them to believe. Whatever Seungwan is lacking is better than Kyungsoo's complete lack of presence. At least First is trying to connect with the pack, but connection between the pack and the First is difficult to form when the Leader isn't there to hold them all together.  
That task seems to have fallen on Jongin's shoulders, but instinct overrules reason in the forest. An omega cannot lead alone no matter how much he tries.  
Jongin is simply grateful that their borders are secure. The pack seems strong, everything functioning under Jongin and Seungwan's leadership, but the pack is not strong. It's different from the days when Minyoung and Hana ran the pack with Chanhyuk to enforce them. It's like an act, the way the pack is right now. His wolves play at strength, but Jongin knows if they were to be attacked right now, they could only defeat their enemies by sheer luck.  
It's this that urges Jongin to gives the pups fifteen sun cycles and older to betas and alphas - both those returned from the mountains and those who have been here in the territory their whole lives - to train their pups to become good fighters and hunters.  
"Is that how it usually works?" First asks him when he brings up his idea to her, both of them sitting up on the rock ledge overlooking the glade.  
"No," Jongin admits. "But it will be good for them. Nothing as intense as what we went through, but enough to ensure our own survival." He doesn't mention the other part of his plan: building connections between the wolves who spent suns away from the pack and the rest of the pack so that the division between them ceases to exist. Jongin needs one whole, healthy pack unit. A group of thirteen wolves who keep themselves apart from pack life is nothing but a gash in the side of the pack body.  
"Fifteen?" Seungwan asks.  
"Fifteen," Jongin reiterates. "The age when pups can join in the pack runs during the full moon if they wish." He holds up his fingers. "Three suns in training followed by three suns of mentoring. Obviously, at first it won't be so clean, but we have to start somewhere."  
"Alright," Seungwan agrees. "Every pup will be given to a mentor eighteen sun cycles or older at fifteen suns of age." She cocks her head to the side. "Can omegas be mentors too?"  
Jongin blinks. Somehow, for all of his proclamations that omegas are just as good as alphas or betas, he hadn't even considered omegas being mentors.  
"Assuming that omega pups are being trained as well," Seungwan continues, "then it makes sense that we would have omegas who are well trained and can train others."  
"You're right," Jongin agrees. "Jongdae has been getting to you." He hides his jealousy under his grin. The scars on his shoulder itch.  
Seungwan shrugs, not bothering to deny it. "We have the omega power right now for this to start right away," she says. "All of the omegas who trained for the tournament can be mentors."  
"So we just assign a pup to a mentor?" Jongin questions out loud, tapping his chin.  
"Then we put compatibility at risk," Seungwan warns, and Jongin bites his lip. "Let the mentors choose their pups?" Seungwan suggests, and that might work. Jongin pushes himself to his feet, and First gets up as well.  
"Should we call a meeting for the pack tonight?" she asks.  
Jongin wants to say 'yes,' wants to get this started right away, but a lurch in his gut quiets that response. "I should talk to Leader first."  
First nods, but her mouth is pulled down in a frown.  
"What is it?" Jongin asks. Seungwan's frown deepens, and she twists her fingers in her shirt. "What?" Jongin urges. "You can tell me."  
Seungwan looks at him with something like sadness and something like pity. "He's been running border patrol every day since he was instated as Leader," she begins. "The pack doesn't know him. Does his opinion really matter?"  
Anger flashes through Jongin, but it's not anger at Seungwan. It's anger that Kyungsoo deems it okay to hide away from the pack so much that even his right hand would consider his opinion and leadership void.  
"I will speak with him tonight," Jongin repeats. "And we three will speak tomorrow." Seungwan backs down.  
"Sure, Second," she murmurs. Jongin sighs.  
"I know how you feel," he promises the other wolf. "I feel the same way, but these things we can't decide just the two of us." Seungwan agrees with that; Jongin knew she would. "While we're talking," he adds, "all three of us, we should discuss the full moon."  
"Yes," Seungwan agrees. "We should."  
They head off then to return to the repetitive cycle of the day, First going to gather a hunting party and Jongin heading to the fields. It's easiest to get through the day when he can take time to lose himself in the mindless tediousness of field work. He's been assisting on the fields since we was seven sun cycles, only a cycle or two earlier than most pups. He finds comfort in it; it's the short few moments of the day where he can forget the responsibility pressing on his shoulders and the worry clogging his throat.  
"Hello," Jeongguk greets him when Jongin's mother has howled to signal the end of the day. He doesn't call Jongin by title, and something about that is both soothing and grating. But this is Jeongguk; he's a brat, but he's never been disrespectful.  
"Hey, pup," Jongin gets out before Jeongguk is smashing his head into the crease of Jongin's shoulder, slumping against him even though he's taller. Jongin pats his back and runs his fingers through Jeongguk's hair. "You feeling better?"  
"Better," Joengguk affirms, voice muffled by Jongin's shirt. "Not looking forward to winter." Jongin squeezes the back of Jeongguk's neck in sympathy.  
"I know," he says. "Me neither."  
"But you're mated," Jeongguk whines. Jongin swallows hard to stop himself from saying he might as well not be.  
"You're a tough kid," Jongin assures him. "It's your first heat. It won't be too bad." Jeongguk pouts, and Jongin pokes his forehead. "Hey. I lived, didn't I? Made it through more than one by myself. You'll be fine."  
Jeongguk groans into Jongin's shoulder, continuing to complain about field work in terribly muffled words that Jongin understands more through sympathy than actual comprehension.  
"Hey, Second, hey," comes up panting from behind them, and Jongin twists awkwardly around Jeongguk's hold on him to see Namjoon with river silt smeared up his arms.  
"Yeah?" Jongin raises and eyebrow, patting Jeongguk's back to try to get him to let go. The omega boy grumbles at him but complies, standing up straight.  
"Namjoon?" Jeongguk blurts out. "I thought you were digging today? With Chanyeol?"  
Namjoon looks down at the silt on his arms. "We were," he says. "But..." He trails off, looking at Jongin. Jongin gives him a little wave in response.  
"I just wanted to ask you something," Namjoon hedges, and he falls into step beside them, keeping his footfalls slow in time with theirs as they walk towards to the meeting point of the four fields where Byulhee stands waiting to dismiss them all.  
"Okay?" Jongin inquires.  
"Is Leader okay?" Namjoon asks. Jongin can't help it; he freezes in his tracks, staring at the other wolf. Jeongguk's hand on Jongin's shirt tightens, encouraging him to keep walking.  
"Second?" Namjoon presses.  
"He's fine," Jongin answers. He has no idea what else he could possibly say that wouldn't be cause for alarm. He can't exactly say he's 'absent,' which is true, and he can't express that he's less of a leader than himself or First because that would be pretentious.  
"It's just that no one has seen him really since the day Minyoung and Hana left," Namjoon adds. "I thought maybe he's gotten sick or-"  
"He's not sick," Jongin cuts in, a little too harsh. Jeongguk flinches next to him, and Namjoon looks startled. Jongin drops his gaze to the ground. "He's keeping the borders safe," he says, softer this time.  
"Well," Namjoon whispers, voice so low Jongin can only barely hear it as they step up to the back of the group of wolves waiting to be dismissed. "He's still our Leader. It'd be nice to know him. I'm not sure I even remember what his face looks like."  
Namjoon's memory with people who aren't Jimin, Jongin has heard from Jongdae, is about as effective as hunting without claws and teeth. He tells himself to shrug the comment off, but Jeongguk murmurs next to him with an apologetic frown, "Me too."  
Maybe it's because Jeongguk is a pup, or because Jongin's seen Jeongguk nearly every day since the pup started working in the fields, but something about his soft declaration stabs Jongin deep in the chest. This isn't right - Kyungsoo's absence - and Jongin knows it.  
"I'll tell him he's missed," he promises. He's making a lot of promises to talk to Kyungsoo today, he realizes belatedly, and his stomach turns, unsettled. He's Second- of course he has to talk to Kyungsoo, make decisions with Kyungsoo, but he's been doing okay with everything by himself so far.  
At least, that's what he thought, but the more he mentions he'll speak with Kyungsoo, he realizes that there is something that he as Second and Seungwan as First can never replace or fill in the absence of their Leader.  
The pack needs a Leader, and Jongin is their closest link.  
"Keep dragging your feet, why don't you?" Byulhee asks the wolves. "I know it's getting hot outside, but we've got more work to do before we can just let these crops grow on their own until harvest."  
Weak groans of understanding and faint, sarcastic cheers follow this. Byulhee's smile doesn't falter. "Is everyone here?" She pops up onto her tiptoes to try to see over everyone's heads out to the fields for any stragglers. Some of the wolves jokingly duck, and Byulhee swats them over the head.  
"Okay, dismissed," she says. "Go enjoy your day."  
"Coming to the river?" Jeongguk asks, tugging on Jongin's arm.  
Jongin doesn't have to talk to Kyungsoo until tonight; he supposes he can relax until then.  
"Sure," he agrees.  
"Race you!" Jeongguk shouts, taking off, and Jongin laughs, speeding after him. They gather up others on their way, heading for the river, and Jongin lets everything go. It feels good to just play, to just be with his pack members and not feel like they're waiting for his permission to breathe. When Seulgi and Sooyoung team up to dunk Jongin under the water, it strikes him with crystal clarity that this is how the pack is supposed to be. He's Second, but he's still pack. He's still young, and there's no reason he can't play except for his own reservations.  
He doesn't forget about the conversations he needs to have with Kyungsoo, but neither topic feels as heavy as it did earlier now that he's had a chance to relax and play.  
"Kyungsoo?" Jongin calls when he gets back to the cabin, sunset glaring purple into his eyes. "Are you here?" There's no reply, and Jongin drops down on his furs, hair still damp from his afternoon in the river and sticking to his neck. He shivers in the empty room even though the night is yet fully fallen and the coming summer warms the night air.  
Waiting is not a fun game; it's lonely. Kyungsoo waited here for three days for him, but Jongin doesn't think he can last a moment past nightfall.  
He pushes himself off the furs, settling down on his knees in front of the fire pit, taking one of the thinner pieces between his fingers and slowly bringing the fire to life. He bends lower, blowing softly on the single flame until it bursts and cackles, orange and yellow lighting up the main room of the cabin and scaring away the dark of night. Warmth settles on Jongin's skin, and he sits back, leaning against the furs.  
He's nearly dozed off before he hears Kyungsoo pushing the door open, the uneven wood scratching over the dirt floors.  
"Oh," Kyungsoo breathes instead of a greeting. "You're already here."  
Jongin jerks up, forcing his eyes open. "I have to talk to you."  
Kyungsoo hefts the fawn thrown over his shoulders up over his head, carefully lowering the young deer to the ground. Jongin's eyes fly open wide, and he stares up at Kyungsoo in faint horror.  
"That's a fawn!" he shouts, scrambling to his feet. "Kyungsoo, we don't kill bab-"  
"It was already dead," Kyungsoo interjects. "I think it was sick and abandoned by its mother." Jongin's shoulders slump.  
"Couldn't catch something fresh?"  
"I watched it collapse," the Leader tells him, and his lip is curling. "I don't know how much more fresh it could be."  
"Are you going to roast it?" Jongin asks. "Or I can."  
"Later," Kyungsoo tells him. "You were here waiting for me. You've never done that before."  
"I wasn't waiting."  
"You were falling asleep half out of your furs," Kyungsoo says, an unimpressed eyebrow raised. "I've never see that from someone who wasn't waiting on someone before."  
Jongin gives in. "I have to talk to you, like I said." Kyungsoo's shoulders stiffen, and he steps over the fawn's body to sit on the ground beside the fire across from Jongin. Like this, Jongin sits just a little higher than Kyungsoo does, and Jongin almost wants to shift, to sit on an equal level with the Leader.  
"About what?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin twists his fingers together, breathing to calm and organize his thoughts.  
"I spoke with First earlier," he reveals. "About the pups. About training them." Kyungsoo makes no move to interrupt, and Jongin presses on, telling him about how he wants to see every member of this pack formally trained and mentored.  
"I need your approval," Jongin says when his explanation is over.  
"Why?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin blinks.  
"Because you're Leader?" he responds, slightly unnerved.  
"You and Seungwan came up with this and sorted out the best way to do this," Kyungsoo murmurs. "I wasn't a part of that conversation. So why do you need my opinion?"  
"Because you're the Leader of this pack!" Jongin bursts out. "You're the one this pack expects to follow, and if Seungwan and I implement some change that you haven't approved, do you really think the pack would be okay with that?"  
"Just tell them I gave my permission," Kyungsoo argues. "It's basically the same."  
"It's not," Jongin snaps. "I'm trying to include you in something I feel would be good for this pack, and you're-"  
"You've already decided on it!" Kyungsoo nearly snarls, and Jongin clenches his teeth to stop himself from baring his neck on instinct at the anger in Kyungsoo's voice. "You already know exactly what you want to happen, and who did you present that to?"  
Jongin tries to keep his mouth shut.  
"To First. Not me. Not your Leader."  
But Jongin can't keep his mouth shut.  
"How the fuck do you expect me to bring this to you when you're always gone?" he demands, hands shaking. "All you do is run border patrol after border patrol, hunt for us, and sleep! I can't even call you Leader if I wanted to because you're never here to hear me say it!"  
"And you keep running this pack without me just fine, don't you?" Kyungsoo shouts back. "You work the fields, you make sure the priests get the appropriate supplies, and you give Seungwan orders as if she were just another wolf in this pack and not my First." He exhales harshly. "All I do is ensure you get enough to eat. I’m basically your servant. So why would I stick around if you're going to just give me orders the way you to everyone else?"  
Jongin gapes at him, eyes burning. "I do not!" His chest feels too tight. "I don't have to anymore! Seungwan figured her shit out, and we're all waiting for you to do the same. But you're too busy stalking around our borders every day to learn a fucking thing!"  
"You think I want to stand around being taught by an omega?" Kyungsoo growls. "I'm Leader. Not you. You seem to think otherwise."  
"Like I said," Jongin snarls. "Until you figure out how to be the Leader this pack deserves, you aren't one." He pants hard, staring at Kyungsoo, the sound of their breathing echoing in the cabin. The wind blows, and the cabin walls creak with disapproval.  
"The full moon is soon," Jongin tells Kyungsoo, and he presses on before the alpha wolf can say anything. "It's your first run with the pack, and it's your first run as Leader. But this pack doesn't know you, so it's more likely they'll follow Seungwan than they'll follow you when rational thought is completely blotted out by instinct."  
"They'll follow me if it's instinct they're following," Kyungsoo sneers. "Seungwan couldn't beat me in a fight, and wolves recognize strength when they see it."  
"Strength comes in numbers," Jongin argues. "You are pack. You should know that. A duo of an alpha and an omega is the pair that this pack respects. Seungwan is going to run with Jongdae, and they're going to look a lot more like Leader and Second than you and I will if we can't figure out how to get along."  
"Figure out how to be a bit more submissive and we'll get along fine."  
Jongin jumps to his feet, hands in fists. "This is who I am," he declares, staring down at Kyungsoo. "I am not some submissive little omega wolf. I am as much a warrior as you are, and this is as much my pack as it is yours. You can run beside me this full moon or not at all."  
"Can you stop me from running?" Kyungsoo asks, furious. He gets to his feet, stepping in close to Jongin, challenging him.  
"No," Jongin admits. "But it will be extremely embarrassing and an insult to your title if you don't stay beside me and the pack drifts away from you to follow Seungwan instead."  
"Seungwan is First."  
"But she's still an alpha," Jongin reminds. "An alpha with an omega willing to support her. That's going to win out over a lone alpha every time, and you know it." Silence crashes around them, the both of them standing too close, neither giving an inch. Their words speak of a battle of logic, but their stance speaks of a battle of pride. It doesn't matter how this ends, Jongin thinks. Both of them have lost.  
"Stay beside me, and the pack will run as we're supposed to," Jongin says after a few moments of waiting for their breathing to calm. "You can choose the direction, I don't care. I won't stop you. Just. We have to present as a pair. We have the scars to show it."  
"Formalities," Kyungsoo says just as Jongin thinks it. "Fine. Tell Seungwan that tomorrow."  
Jongin shoves the alpha's chest, putting much needed distance between them. He breathes in air that isn't as cloying with Kyungsoo's scent, and immediately he feels like his head has cleared. "Tell her yourself," he snaps back. "Wouldn't want your Second giving your First any more orders, right?" Jongin then strips off his shorts and shirt, dropping down onto all four paws. He moves to stand over the fawn, waiting for Kyungsoo to shift and take the first bite as the hunter.  
Kyungsoo stares at him, his jaw working like he wants to say something, but the alpha never does. He slips out of his pants and shifts; his dark fur gleams in the firelight. They can't say a word in this form, and Jongin doesn't shift back after he's eaten, choosing instead to sleep as a wolf and avoid any further conversation with Kyungsoo.  
The alpha wolf goes to drag the carcass of the fawn outside for the scavengers, and Jongin curls up, tucking his tail over his nose and pretending to be asleep when Kyungsoo comes back in.  
If the Leader wants to be absent from the pack, then fine. He can be absent. It's not Jongin's problem.  
Except, Jongin knows that it really is his problem. And he doesn't know how to fix it; he only knows how to be angry at his so-called mate.  
~*~  
The buzz under Jongin's skin that accompanies the approaching full moon sets his teeth on edge if he focuses on it too much, his body preparing to throw itself into a full change, his instincts ready to take over completely. At the same time, his lower stomach is in constant pain from a combination of pulled muscles from too much work and play and the pain that accompanies his body realizing that Jongin is not having pups. It happens every moon cycle, but this is the first time Jongin has had to pretend that he's not feeling any pain at all and keep up his smile.  
You're fine, he chants to himself over and over in his head while he and Seungwan sort the older pups into a line and introduce them to their mentors. It goes smoother than Jongin expected, the only complaints being the expected ones from an alpha pup taken under Seulgi's wing (she knocks him flat on his ass, and that's the end of that discussion) and Yerim whining at Jongin for not choosing her. It hadn't been easy to let anyone else mentor Yerim, but Jongin and Seungwan had decided that they should exclude themselves from the list of possible mentors.  
"Give her to Juhyeon," First had encouraged, and Jongin, as loath as he was to let one of the more volatile alphas be close to the pup he's viewed as his little sister for sun cycles, could see the logic behind Seungwan's suggestion. With someone to care for, it's likely that Juhyeon's alpha instincts will calm, and Yerim would be insulted if Jongin didn't recognize that she's fully capable of taking care of herself. She's sweet but about as bright as a bonfire.  
Juhyeon will need luck to take care of her, and Jongin is more confident in his and Seungwan's decision when he sees the two of them size each other up. Yerim throws him a pout before she walks off with her mentor, and Jongin grins for real instead of plastering the expression on to hide the pain in his stomach.  
Before becoming Second, Jongin spent days like this curled up at home, drinking water flavored with mint and honey and rubbing his stomach while praying for the cramps to stop. This moon cycle might be the worst pain with which Jongin has ever dealt; it's as if his body is punishing him for being mated and not pregnant. Fuck you too, he grumbles in his head. His lower back starts aching in response to that.  
The moment that Seungwan places the last pair together, Jeongguk almost looking more like Yoongi's mentor than Yoongi looks like the omega boy's mentor due to his height, Jongin stutters out some sort of excuse and walks without limping as best he can towards the medicine hut. He wants mint and honey and to go back to his furs in the cabin.  
On the second day of his body trying to tear and shred his guts to pieces, Jongin wakes to a late spring rain coming down hard, and everything seems to stop. Field work halts, and Jongin takes the excuse to curl up in his furs in the main room and not move for the entirety of the gray day.  
Rain is good; rain means the crops will be well watered and the forest will be wet and the risk of fire is low. But rain also means that work ceases on the fields, and all the wolves who work their stay home and keep themselves entertained. Without the heavy work in the fields, the buzz of the full moon roars heavy in the veins of the pack, and this next run is going to be fast and hard.  
Jongin whines into his furs. He and Kyungsoo are not prepared to lead an overly energized pack on a run, but it's their job. Jongin says a prayer for success, but he doesn't know who he's praying to when he's denounced the moon goddess for himself. Maybe no one; it probably doesn't matter.  
"You're still here?" Kyungsoo's voice startles Jongin from his thoughts, and he thinks about sitting up to greet the alpha before he decides that he would rather not aggravate his gut anymore.  
"Yes," he answers. "Obviously."  
"I brought food," Kyungsoo tries.  
"I don't want it," Jongin says. It's true; his stomach turns over at the thought of food. He should eat, though. He'll only hurt worse if he's cramping and hungry.  
"Then don't eat," Kyungsoo returns, and Jongin frowns.  
"I'll eat." Kyungsoo seemingly tries to not look shocked at Jongin's sudden change of heart, but he fails. He looks almost cute with his eyes wide like that. Jongin shoves that thought process to the back of his mind, forcing himself to stand up from his furs.  
"Are you okay?" Kyungsoo asks.  
"No," Jongin says, voice short.  
"Oh," Kyungsoo murmurs. "What's wrong?"  
"Cramps," Jongin answers, and he can't help but burst into laughter no matter how much it hurts at Kyungsoo's sudden expression of disgust.  
"Should I leave?" he almost whispers, and that sends Jongin into a fresh set of giggles.  
"What?" he laughs. "I'm not sick! I'm just-" He waves his hands vaguely like that will explain everything, and Kyungsoo just looks even more uncomfortable. "Let's just cook this," Jongin offers, changing the subject. Kyungsoo's shoulders slump. The rabbit is fat, and Jongin can smell something else with him. He sniffs the air, and he smiles slow.  
"Is that...?"  
Kyungsoo holds up a small sack with red stains soaked into the bottom of the tan cloth.  
"Strawberries," Kyungsoo confirms, and Jongin almost completely forgets the pain in his stomach at the prospect of strawberries. "I thought after the field work you would like something sweet."  
"Is this an apology?" Jongin says carefully, and Kyungsoo meets his gaze.  
"I'm not the only one who owes an apology," he answers. Jongin drops his eyes to his feet.  
"I'll take the strawberries as an apology, and I'll roast the rabbit as your apology," he offers. Kyungsoo sighs, and Jongin winces. That's a sorry excuse for the apology that they both owe each other after their words two nights ago, but neither of them are ready to apologize. At least, Jongin isn't, and Kyungsoo isn't pressing the issue. Jongin sits down with the rabbit, letting his claws lengthen and tearing the skin from the rodent.  
"So you didn't do any work today?" Kyungsoo asks, settled on his knees to start the fire.  
"It's raining too hard for field work," Jongin answers.  
"You could have hunted or patrolled," Kyungsoo says. "The rain won't hurt you."  
Jongin scoffs. "We can't all go hunting and patrolling the borders. That's too much noise on the territory. We'd sabotage our own efforts." The fire roars to life. "Come on, Kyungsoo. At least pretend to know what's going on around here."  
The twig between Kyungsoo's fingers snaps.  
"It's hard to know what's going on in the fields when you're in the medicine hut talking to the wolves who won't be joining the run," Kyungsoo states, voice darkly colored and edging towards the angry tone he'd used only two nights before. Jongin backs up quickly, trying to switch the tone of the conversation back to a friendlier one.  
"Ah," he tries. "The wolfsbane."  
"Yes," Kyungsoo says, tone still clipped. "Which is, apparently, something that the Second usually does, but as you were nowhere to be found today, the priests asked me to come."  
Jongin blinks. He hadn't known about that job. "Why do they need us to administer doses of wolfsbane?"  
"Because you and I are the most resilient to it," Kyungsoo sniffs. "If something goes wrong, we're the best ones for dealing with it." He rolls his eyes like the answer is obvious. Jongin just furrows his eyebrows.  
"How do they know that?"  
"From the tests during the tournament," Kyungsoo says. "You had to take it twice, didn't you?"  
"How did you-?"  
"So did I." They stare at each other.  
"Oh," Jongin says.  
"Yeah, oh," Kyungsoo snorts with another roll of his eyes. He stares into the fire. "Come on, Jongin, at least pretend to know what's going on around here."  
Pain shatters through Jongin, but it's his heart and pride, not his stomach. He knows what being with a mate is supposed to be like, and he knows how Leader and Second are supposed to act from seeing Minyoung and Hana, but he and Kyungsoo just keep getting it wrong. They only have two nights until the full moon, and they're not going to figure it out before then.  
They eat in silence, and the rain keeps falling.  
~*~  
It's pouring, black clouds doing their best to blot out the moon, when the moon song begins to ring in Jongin's ears, the power of the full moon surging through him and urging him to shift into his other body, to tear apart his human form and howl up at the silver glowing through the storm clouds. Jongin fights to hold onto his human skin, rushing out into the chill of the rain to check on his pack.  
He won't hold on for long; he's never wanted to resist the call of the moon. His mother is good at it- retaining her human form even while she sings along to the tune of the moon song. Taehyung does it sometimes just to see if he can, and Jongin has always just rolled his eyes and fallen into a shift, paws itching to run. Omegas are gifted with the ability to hold themselves back from the call of moon song, maintaining their human form to prevent crushing and killing their unborn pups. Some betas work for sun cycles to perfect their own control, but Jongin has never understood why a wolf would want to hold back from the change. Jongin himself has never tried to resist it; he loves his wolf form. He loves the power that it holds.  
The glade is filling with wolves, all of them antsy and prowling around each other, short howls of impatience rising over the roar of the pouring rain. Jongin walks through the glade, feet stained green from the wet grass. He holds out his hands, his pack rubbing up into his touch. They all nudge at him, nipping at his ankles and knees and baring their necks, ears tucked back even as their tails wag. They're excited; they're ready to run. Jongin falls down onto his own four paws, not caring about his pants as they shred, walking with his head and tail held high into the midst of the pack gathering in the glade, fur flattened in the heavy rain.  
A weak whine of pain in a familiar voice, a sound far too human for the time of night, reaches Jongin through the noise of the impatient pack, and Jongin darts through them, leaping over pack members and bursting from the midst of those gathered to see Sooyoung collapsed on the ground, fingernails breaking as she scrabbles at the ground, tearing up dirt and grass. Her shoulders hunch forward, and her ribs crack, splintering up and pressing through her skin.  
Her mothers stand beside her, one in her wolf form and the other still human, hands hovering over her daughter, whispering encouragement to her. The moon doesn't call pups to run with the pack, but Sooyoung's first heat was last winter. She's been desperately waiting for the full moon when her connection with her wolf side is solidified and she can no longer resist the pull of moon song.  
"It's alright, sweetheart," her mother whispers, trailing her fingers over Sooyoung's hairline where sweat drenches her face more than the rain. Sooyoung screams, her legs snapping, joints switching switching directions and toes curling smaller into hind paws. It's not Sooyoung's first shift, but it's her first shift using power that's not her own.  
The moon shines bright overhead, breaking through the clouds.  
Jongin gets down on his belly, crawling up next to the beta pup, growling softly to command her to change. It's not much, but if he can encourage her to put herself into the change without the moon dragging her into it, it should be easier.  
Sooyoung's fingers snap and curl, and she throws her back and wails in agony, teeth sharpened into long canines in her mouth.  
"Let it happen, Sooyoung," her mother encourages. "It won't hurt." She runs her fingers through her daughter's hair again just as Sooyoung's ears begin creeping up the side of her head. Jongin crawls to place himself directly in front of Sooyoung, watching her pain-glassed eyes focus on him, flashing between brown and yellow.  
"Second," her omega parent murmurs, unsure, but her mate nudges at her hands with her nose, encouraging her to step back from Jongin and Sooyoung. Jongin remembers his first full moon shift well; he'd heard the moon song and fallen onto all fours with a wrench of pain tearing through his body, the pain fading as soon as he'd fully moved into his wolf form. It had happened only one moon after his first heat. He'd only been fifteen at the time.  
Although the shift hadn't been difficult for the moon to invoke in him, Jongin had also been there for Sehun's first moon song-led shift and seen how difficult it is for other young wolves.  
It had looked a lot like this moment with Sooyoung. His bones had cracked, slow and torturous, and he'd cried until his voice cracked. It hadn't stopped until Hana, Second at the time, had knelt down in front of him and growled, ordering him to invoke his own change. Jongin growls the order for Sooyoung to change again, and her body lurches to obey. Her screaming becomes an excited, high-pitched howl, and she gets up on four paws, damp, dark fur reflecting the moonlight.  
"Thank you," her mother tells Jongin, dipping her head, and her mate noses at Jongin's shoulder, and Sooyoung licks over Jongin's muzzle. The change itself is painful before the body becomes used to it and the wolf becomes more adept at switching between forms, but once the change is over, it's as if nothing even happened.  
Sooyoung bounds away into the pack, slamming into Jeongguk's side, and the omega pup yowls as he's tackled down into the long grass of the glade. Jongin takes a step forward to join the pack, but there's a shift in attention in the air.  
He follows the direction that the pack turns as one to face, and even he is a little shocked at the power that Seungwan seems to emit at she walks into the glade, her huge head held high and large paws leaving deep impressions on the grass. She stands at the head of the pack, her eyes sharp and presence ringing very clearly of alpha.  
A low whine resonates from within the pack members, and Jongin watches as the pack splits very slowly, making a path for a familiar dark-furred wolf to step from within the ranks of pack members. Jongdae crawls forward on his belly towards Seungwan, and Jongin holds still, waiting for Jongdae to whine again, to present himself to the First. But it's Seungwan who crouches down to meet Jongdae's level, and it's Seungwan who noses along Jongdae's neck, asking his permission to run next to him.  
Something in Jongin tears, jealousy slicing clean through his heart as he watches Jongdae nip at Seungwan's ear. The two of them stand together, and the pack murmurs low, claws out and teeth bared. They're staring at an alpha and omega pair; in this instinct led state, they're ready to run.  
A howl splits the air and the rain, low and thundering, and it vibrates through Jongin's body, sitting in his chest and stretching up to his throat to tease his answering howl, just a tad higher pitched than the original, from his open jaws.  
There's no way to mistake Kyungsoo. If Seungwan had drawn the attention of the pack, Kyungsoo commands it. It's not the first time Jongin has seen Kyungsoo's wolf form, but it's the first time he's felt drawn to him, the first time he's felt awed by his obvious strength, the first time he's seen him as Leader.  
He blames the moon song.  
The scars on Jongin's neck itch where they part his fur, and yellow eyes turn to meet Jongin's. Kyungsoo throws his head back and howls again, even lower than the first note he'd sung, and Jongin responds, singing higher than Kyungsoo. The pack isn't invited in this howl; it's the for the two of them. It's to display who they are - Leader and Second. Kyungsoo stops singing, and Jongin strides purposefully through the pack. Unlike Jongdae, he doesn't crawl up to Kyungsoo but slips into place next to him, his red fur a stark contrast to Kyungsoo's black. It's a reminder to Kyungsoo that they have to run together, but Kyungsoo stiffens next to him.  
Jongin leans in against his side, and the difference in the size of their wolf forms is like an opposite reflection of their human ones, Kyungsoo's shoulders just less than a hand's width higher than Jongin's. Standing like this, they look like mates- they look like the leadership pair. But standing like this, forcing themselves to be close to one another, reminds Jongin that this is an act.  
There's no real pair leading this pack right now, and it shows in the way they reacted so readily to Seungwan's presence.  
Jongin nudges Kyungsoo, whining and pawing once at the ground. Kyungsoo takes the hint, and when he howls, Jongin feels it run through him from Kyungsoo's weight pressed right beside him. He echoes Kyungsoo, and the energy of the pack shatters across the glade. Seungwan's howl follows his, and then more wolves are throwing back their heads and singing. The voices of the pack join, tangling together as they echo the moon song, rising up in higher pitches. They never sing lower than Kyungsoo's howl, and they cut off directly after he does.  
There's a moment of stillness, of simply breathing with the full moon drifting over them all and the rain soaking through to skin, and then Kyungsoo turns. They run.  
It feels amazing to run with the pack. It feels like coming home, and it feels like belonging. Running with the pack before the tournament had been wonderful, a break in the routine of field work, running with pups, and training. It had been the closest thing to feeling what being a part of a complete pack is like. Now, as Second, his paws flying across the ground, his ears perked up to listen to the excited howls of his pack mates, and the glow of silver covering the territory, running the pack is thrilling. It almost doesn't even bother Jongin that the wolf he's running beside is Kyungsoo when he's got endless land to race across and a whole night to run through.  
Except Kyungsoo mistakes his apparent comfort as a reason to draw away and pull ahead, and suddenly the pack's excited howls are those of confusion as their leadership pair separates. Jongin speeds ahead to realign himself with Kyungsoo's stride, paws thundering across the ground together. They look powerful, and Jongin feels powerful. But then Kyungsoo is pulling ahead again, guiding the pack off to the right towards the edges of their forest territory.  
Jongin nudges him, trying to get him to move the opposite direction towards the mountains where the trees open up and the pack can bask in the moonlight unhindered. Kyungsoo snaps at him, and Jongin yelps, startled, ears pressed back against his head. Unease filters through him, a sudden sense of loneliness.  
He and Kyungsoo are not a real pair; in the excitement of the full moon, he'd almost forgotten. It seems the pack has noticed something too, their eyes flicking between Leader and Second and First and Jongdae. Jongin growls in the back of his throat. This is his pack- his and Kyungsoo's. He refuses to lose them to an instinctive notion that Seungwan and Jongdae are a better pair.  
Jongin forces his ears back up, shaking off his submission and moving in close to Kyungsoo again. He whines, urging Kyungsoo to take notice of the pack's confusion and herding him towards the mountains again. He's panting, the moon song ringing through him quieting as he runs his energy away. Kyungsoo is panting too, and he allows Jongin to lead him towards the treeline, a stretch of scraggly grass and rocks greeting them where the mountains surge up into the night sky. His yellow eyes are narrowed and sharp, staring at Jongin as they come to a halt, the pack stopping behind them.  
This time, when Kyungsoo throws his head back to sing, Jongin lets Seungwan take his place singing next, and as the rest of the pack howls to the moon goddess, Jongin keeps his jaws shut and voice silent.  
When the voices of the pack members have tired and quieted, the rain begins quieting too. Jongin barks once, releasing the pack to have the rest of the night to themselves. Slowly, the pack wanders away, some sprinting off with friends, some in mated pairs, the air between them singing with want.  
Seungwan very carefully turns to Jongdae and buries her face in his shoulder for a moment before she leaves for the glade with a mixed group of alphas and betas. Jongdae watches her go before he sprints off into the trees in the direction that Chanyeol and Seulgi had gone, leaving Leader and Second alone near the mountains. At least Seungwan and Jongdae, Jongin thinks, are smart enough to go home to the glade separately, not tempting the still quietly humming moon song to urge them into giving in to lust. At least someone around here has sense, very much unlike their Leader.  
Jongin flicks his ears irritably at the drizzle of rain, glaring over at Kyungsoo. The alpha growls, and Jongin, body still buzzing with the effects of the full moon, does not resist his challenge. He hurls himself at Kyungsoo, slamming into the wolf's shoulder and knocking him off-balance. Kyungsoo collapses to the ground, rolling over on his back and throwing Jongin away from him with his hind paws digging into Jongin's belly.  
Jongin lands hard and shoves himself back up to his paws, rearing up in time to meet Kyungsoo's attack. They grapple on their hind legs, claws pressed to shoulders and teeth snapping at necks.  
This has been coming, Jongin thinks. Maybe they need this. Maybe Jongin needs this.  
Kyungsoo shoves forward, snarling, and Jongin falls back, unprepared. He barks harshly, snapping his jaws over Kyungsoo's ear, and the alpha yelps, skittering back. Jongin leaps up, chasing after him. He leaps on Kyungsoo's broad back, trying to get his teeth in the back of Kyungsoo's neck, but Kyungsoo flips, crushing Jongin underneath him.  
Jongin wheezes, claws catching on Kyungsoo's side, but Kyungsoo ignores the pain, twisting out of Jongin's grip and tripping Jongin onto his stomach. Kyungsoo presses Jongin down, teeth grazing over the marks already scarred eternally into Jongin's skin. Yield, his actions demand. Jongin doesn't move to antagonize him further, but he doesn't relax and yield either. Kyungsoo closes his teeth around Jongin's scruff and shakes, growl resounding in Jongin's ears.  
He gives his own frustrated snarl but relaxes, and Kyungsoo lets him up. It's been awhile - sun cycles - since Jongin has lost a fight, and he'd nearly forgotten what it feels like.  
Kyungsoo stalks forward ahead of him, stopping three body lengths away. He jerks his head- an order for Jongin to follow. Jongin does only to the edge of the trees, and then hurries ahead to take the lead back to the cabin, ignoring Kyungsoo's warning growl. The need to be in wolf form has burned out of him in his anger by the time they make it back, and Jongin shoves his way inside, the door scraping over the dirt ground.  
"What were you thinking?" Jongin demands the instant he's back in his human form, grabbing a pair of shorts from the pile of his clothes in the corner of the cabin and pulling them on despite his wet skin.  
"You attacked me first!" Kyungsoo spits. He doesn't even bother with clothing, stalking in close to Jongin.  
"At least I waited until the pack was gone," Jongin sneers. "And then there's you trying to lead the pack away and run by yourself."  
"You weren't following me," Kyungsoo snaps. "You said you would let me lead."  
"You veered off before I realized where you were taking us," Jongin argues, shoving Kyungsoo's chest to put much needed space between them. "Our full pack right next to our border? That's suicide! You were almost begging for a territory dispute."  
"I was running," Kyungsoo tells him. "Just running with my pack."  
"Your pack?" Jongin laughs without humor. "They don't even know you."  
Kyungsoo is silent. Jongin holds his breath. The faint patter of rain on the roof is the only sound. They stare at each other, and Jongin feels like his heart is about to beat right out of his chest. He flexes his fingers, tips of his claws still out from the residual energy of the full moon.  
"We've had this argument before," Kyungsoo mutters, face shadowed. "Not that long ago."  
"Only a few days ago, yeah," Jongin agrees. "And nothing has changed."  
"No," Kyungsoo says, staring hard at Jongin. "Nothing has."  
Rage boils in Jongin's blood, and he bares his teeth. "We agreed to run together," he snarls. "We agreed to run together. We said-"  
"You said," Kyungsoo corrects.  
"Fuck," Jongin spits. "This is infuriating. You're infuriating."  
"No more than you are," Kyungsoo retorts.  
Jongin smirks. "Keeping it interesting, right?" He pulls the ties of his shorts apart and steps out of them. "I'm leaving."  
"You can't leave!" Kyungsoo shouts.  
"I'm not leaving the pack!" Jongin returns, equally as loud. "I'm just getting away from you."  
Kyungsoo's eyes are wide and a little bit wild. "Jongin..." Jongin ignores him, storming out of the cabin and jamming the fabric of his shorts between his teeth. The rain is pelting down again, soaking his skin and hair thoroughly before Jongin has even made it to the glade. He tears forward, throwing himself into his wolf form and racing hard across the glade farther and farther away from Kyungsoo.  
The farther Jongin runs, the more he feels empty, his body echoing with the cruel words he and Kyungsoo had spoken.  
He races through the forest, passing the grounds where he and Sehun had trained under Minseok's tutelage for sun cycles. His paws sink into the wet ground, mud caught under his claws. He ignores it, barreling into a very familiar section of pack lands. The rain dampens the smell, but he's still comforted by the scent of his family and the sight of his home. He barrels into the cabin and throws himself across the shared living space and through the curtain that leads to his room.  
He doesn't bother to shift back, dropping his shorts on the ground and burrowing underneath his old furs. His parents are murmuring softly in the next room, and Jongin tries to ignore their soft whispers and proclamations of affection for each other. They haven't even noticed he's here, or maybe they don't care.  
Maybe Jongin is truly alone now, nothing more than a body to hold up the mantle of Second.  
Jongin lets out a soft whine and swallows hard, forcing himself to pretend the ache in his chest is from his desperate run across the territory and the angry pounding of his heart, closing his eyes to the reality that he hates so much.  
~*~  
Soft humming and bony fingers running gently through his fur and the faint whiff of burned juniper wake Jongin from his fitful sleep.  
"My grandson," is murmured quietly, breaking through images of a broken pack and a flooded territory. The nightmares had fused themselves with Jongin's once story-laden dreams, and he shakes slightly under his grandmother's gentle petting. "Second," his grandmother tries again, and the sound of his title is enough to jerk Jongin fully from the dark horror of an eternal new moon hanging over his dead pack that had clung to his dreams.  
He blinks his eyes open slowly, scrambling to free his face from underneath the furs and squinting into the light of his room in his parents' cabin. His grandmother offers him close-lipped smile and holds up a pair of his shorts in one hand.  
"Good morning," she greets him, flicking his nose. Jongin whines low, ducking his head and reaching up with a foreleg to paw at the itch his grandmother's fingers had left on his muzzle. "You are not what I expected to find when I walked in here," his grandmother tells him. "This is not where any of the pack would expect to find you nowadays." Despite her words, Jongin's grandmother doesn't sound shocked at all. She reaches up to tug at his ear, and Jongin pretends to snap at her fingers. She drops his shorts on his head in response.  
"Shift," she requests. "Your parents are already out working. It's just me here." Jongin gets up, shifting quickly and pulling on his shorts before rummaging around his room for a shirt. He finds one of his father's old ones, the sleeves cut too long, falling over the backs of Jongin's hands.  
"You look so much like your mother," his grandmother tells him. She holds up a hand. "Come, help your elder up. We can go sit and talk outside, hm? The sunlight is good for clearing your head." Jongin could deny her, could say he'd rather stay inside and pretend everything around him has paused; he has the rank to do that. However, Jongin reaches down obediently and helps his grandmother to her feet, letting her lean against him as they shuffle outside.  
She's a wise woman, and Jongin would be a fool not to listen to her. He might be Second, but he's a quarter of his grandmother's age. She's seen more- knows more. Even when what she knows is something that Jongin doesn't want to hear, it's often something Jongin needs to hear.  
They walk out of the back of the cabin, and Jongin's grandmother directs him to one of the fallen trees he and his father had carved a bench into many sun cycles ago. The sun falls onto the backs of their necks here, bright but not glaring directly into their eyes. Jongin's grandmother pats the back of his hand, tracing her fingertips over the veins there.  
"It's so nice out right now," she hums. "Give it a few hours, and the pups in the fields will be begging to be done so they can go for a swim." She shows off her cracked tooth with her grin. "I remember when you were only seven sun cycles or so. The only place you ever wanted to be was playing in the river. I think you learned to swim before you learned how to run in your wolf form. One time - I will never forget - your mother was nearly in tears with panic because you didn't come home for dinner, and it was so dark out. A storm was coming. Your father went out to look for you, and when he brought you back, you were soaking wet and screaming that you hadn't caught a fish yet. You wanted to bring us fish for dinner so badly, and your mother was so mad." She laughs, shaking her head. "You told Byulhee that you would catch a fish and you weren't coming home until you did."  
Jongin doesn't remember this, but the stubbornness is so characteristically him he can almost piece together exactly what the scene would have looked like.  
"You caught a fish the next day," his grandmother continues. "And you ate it even though you didn't really like it. But you were so proud. We all were. A seven suns boy already hunting. Already so determined. You haven't changed much since then. Still just as stubborn and just as determined to try again when things don't go the way you planned the first time."  
"Why are you telling me this?" Jongin asks, but he already knows.  
"Because you are you, and Leader is the river and the night, and the leadership you two share over the pack is the fish," she says. "It's not easy to catch fish with your bare hands when you're still clumsy and small, but persistence and diligence, some stubbornness too, will yield results." She reaches up and grabs Jongin's chin, making him meet her gaze. "So everything hasn't worked out yet, but it will. You'll make it work. You'll try again."  
Jongin bites his tongue, holding back snapping at his grandmother, telling her there are no do-overs for the tournament, there are no do-overs for a pack run, there are no do-overs for a mated pair who were forced to become one. His shoulders slump.  
"Maybe that's how it worked for Hana and Minyoung. A trial and error and then success. Maybe it worked for whoever came before them," he says, bitter. "But Kyungsoo and I- it's just. He doesn't understand the pack. He doesn't know anything about leading them. He's just a powerful wolf with a powerful position but no knowledge of anything!" He twists his fingers in the sleeves of his father's old shirt. "Sure, he can hunt well. Fight well, I guess. The alphas and betas he trained with listen to him, but they also listen to Seungwan because they know to do that. But the pack- right now the pack doesn't even know him, and he's not making any effort to change that." Jongin is shaking, his lower lip trembling. He swallows hard against the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.  
His grandmother is quiet for a long moment. "Have you asked him to make an effort?"  
Jongin scowls. "Yes."  
"Or have you demanded for him to make an effort?"  
Jongin stills, knuckles white. His grandmother hums. "And how well do you expect a man raised to lead this pack to respond to blatant orders?"  
That is an excellent point, but the memory of Kyungsoo's fury, his accusations of Jongin belittling him, sends anger curling in Jongin's gut.  
"You don't know what it's like," he speaks through gritted teeth.  
"My mate was an alpha, Second," his grandmother says in a warning tone. Jongin presses on, too caught in his frustration to stop.  
"And you chose her! Nana loved you so much, but does Kyungsoo love me? Did I choose him?" He stands lets his words run wild with his emotions. "You have no idea how it feels, and you don't know how to make a leadership pair suddenly work together!"  
"Watch your mouth, boy," his grandmother warns for the second time, but Jongin does not heed her warning, continuing to talk, hot tears on his face and hands shaking.  
"Grandma, it's been a moon since this started." He points a rigid finger at the claim marks on his neck. "And he doesn't want anything to do with this pack, and for all your stories, you do not know how to make a Leader suddenly do his job! You don't know how to fix a mistake by some imaginary moon goddess-!"  
His grandmother's hand cracks across his cheek, and Jongin gapes, stunned, cheek stinging.  
"I said 'watch your mouth,'" his grandmother reminds him. "Second or not, I will not be spoken to with disrespect by my own grandchild, and I will not listen to that same grandchild deride my beliefs and tell me what I do and do not know." Jongin's cheeks burn with shame alongside the pain of his grandmother's slap. "I was there when Minyoung and Hana became the leadership pair. I saw them fight, and I saw them figure out how to love each other and how to lead the pack. I was there, boy. And before them I grew up watching Jun and Gibum learn the same things. Two pairs, Second. I've seen two of them grow into their roles, and I still told you all those stories as you grew up knowing you might become Second one day. Does that not say anything to you?"  
Jongin wipes at the tears on his face, looking anywhere but at his grandmother. The woman reaches out and curls her fingers around his wrists, pulling his hands away from his face, angling herself so that she can look at him directly. Jongin keeps his eyes downcast.  
"Wolves live and learn," his grandmother murmurs, touch gentle. "And then once we've finished learning, we old wolves stay alive a little longer to teach the young wolves what we've already learned so that you don't have to suffer the way we did."  
Jongin opens his mouths to retort, but his grandmother tuts at him before she carries right on speaking. "You'll suffer your own path, Second. There are things I cannot prepare you for. But from what I can prepare you for, you won't suffer because you already know how to protect yourself. That's why I'm here for you still. That's why Chanhyuk is still here. To advise you- to counsel you. To keep you from stubbornly destroying this pack because you haven't realized a few things." She waits patiently after speaking, not continuing nor urging Jongin to say anything, giving him time to digest her words.  
"What things?" Jongin asks after a moment, and his grandmother offers him a slight quirk of her lips, guiding him back to the carved bench to sit.  
"Our Leader is only as strong as his weakest link," his grandmother answers simply. "His isolation from the pack growing up has taught him that a group too large will drag him down. He hasn't learned what you know- that there is strength in numbers."  
"I've tried to tell-"  
"And when has an alpha ever sat around listening?" his grandmother interrupts. She settles her hand on Jongin's jaw. "You must show him how to be an alpha. Teach him how to be a Leader."  
Jongin sighs, but his grandmother keeps talking, cutting through any protest he could offer. "It has always been this way, Second. The alphas and betas go away to learn strength in the hardest of times, and the omegas stay to learn the pack. It is then the Second who reintroduces the Leader to the pack, acting as a sort of link between the two." She squeezes his hand. "The pack knows you. The pack adores you. You've been working hard, and they know it. They trust you. And who you trust, they too will trust."  
"Kyungsoo," Jongin whispers.  
His grandmother appears a bit smug. "Exactly him, yes."  
"But I don't trust him," Jongin admits. His grandmother taps his jaw in warning.  
"If you do not show your trust in him," she says, "neither will the pack. And without both Leader and Second, and of course, First, the pack will fall apart."  
Jongin nightmares of flooded territory and a dead pack swim at the edges of his vision, and he shakes his head, a sharp movement that startles his grandmother. "I don't want that," he breathes. "The pack- that's not what I want."  
"So then teach your alpha to be our alpha," his grandmother encourages. "Teach him to be our Leader."  
Jongin inhales deep, closing his eyes and shoving down his pride. "How do I do that?"  
"Learn him," his grandmother answers. "Listen to him. Apologize when due, and the rest will follow." Jongin sits and listens to his grandmother talk and explain, the lilt to her tone soothing and familiar, until the bright sun of high noon has passed and Jongin begins to understand what it means to listen and learn.  
~*~  
Jongin's grandmother sends Jongin to work on the roof of his family's cabin after pinching his still-stinging cheek, telling him his father has allegedly been too busy to fill the gaps left from last winter. Jongin's sweating, his shirt soaked through as he works in the bright afternoon sunlight. His lips are starting to feel chapped, and his throat works from how thirsty he is. His feet prick painfully from splinters that he's not looking forward to pulling out of his skin. He's still up on the roof scrambling around with a mixture of mud and sand, layering it over carefully lain long grasses, when his parents return home.  
They're in wolf form, pelts brushing against each other, jostling each other with their shoulders. They appear to be smiling around the prey clamped in their jaws, eyes bright. Jongin's father is beginning to gray around his muzzle, but it almost makes him look even more distinguished against his red fur. Jongin stays quiet, crawling over to the other side of the roof, watching his parents walk around the cabin to drop their catch by the fire pit. He makes to scramble back before they turn and see him, but the mud on his hands slips on smooth, weathered roofing, and he fails to swallow his yelp as he slips forward on the roof.  
His mother's bright yellow eyes are narrowed, her teeth bared in warning at the sound, but her whole body relaxes when she sees Jongin staring back at her with wide eyes. She shifts immediately, slipping into her skirt and shirt, her smile making her look years younger.  
"You're home!" she calls up to him, standing up on her tiptoes as if that would allow her to reach him. Jongin nods.  
"Chores," he says. "Grandma told me Pops has been too busy napping to fix the roof." A snort of his grandmother's laughter rings from inside, and Jongin's father whines in protest, ears and tail drooping. Byulhee leans over and tugs her mate's ear, dropping his pants on his head.  
"Hurry up and change and greet your son," she orders. Sungkeun snorts at her, trotting into the house. The human version of Jongin's father reemerges a few moments later, and Jongin slides onto his stomach to drop down to the ground. He rolls on impact, jumping back up right in front of his parents.  
"Hey, Pops." He lets his father drag him into a hug, and he breathes easier even when the air is yanked from his lungs as his mother pulls him into a fierce hug.  
"I haven't seen you in days outside of the fields, young man," she scolds, and Jongin is suddenly twelve years old again, hiding from his parents after long hours of training, his arms and legs shaking and not wanting to help his mom scrub the furs clean in summer.  
"I know, Ma." He hugs her back tightly, hoping to appease her. "It's just. A little weird right now. I'm still trying to get used to- well. This."  
His mother freezes, staring at him. Her jaw drops and her eyes keep widening. It would almost be fighting if Jongin weren't entirely familiar with his mother's overexcited expression.  
"Ma?" he starts.  
"Second," she interrupts. "Are you not telling us - your parents - something?"  
Jongin blinks. "Ma?" he repeats.  
"Are you pregnant?"  
Jongin stills, forgets to breathe, chokes on his own shock. "Ma?" he practically screeches. "Ma, no! Fuck- I mean. Uh. No. I-"  
"That's a huge fucking relief," Sungkeun sighs loudly, throwing an arm around his mate. "We're not old enough to be grandparents, right, Byulhee?" The woman grumbles, narrowing her eyes at Jongin who is doing his best not to panic at the notion of having a pup on the way already.  
"Don't wait too long," she requests. Jongin forces himself to smile, swallowing hard around the disgust at the idea of Kyungsoo touching him again in any manner that isn't just for show in front of the pack. He will wait as long as he wants, even if that's forever.  
"Right," he grits out between his teeth.  
His mother grins and kisses his cheek. "Good," she chirps. "Now. I'm gonna skin these." She makes a gesture towards the prey she and Jongin's father brought back, and Sungkeun lets her go. He leans in close to his son.  
"Wait as long as you want, kiddo," he says like Jongin isn't the third most authoritative member of the pack. Jongin's smile turns into a real grin.  
"Yeah, Pops," he agrees. "Will do."  
"Good," Sungkeun says, clasping Jongin on the shoulder. "So. How do you want the catch? Rare or bloody?"  
Jongin bares his teeth. "Bloody."  
His father laughs, and Jongin enjoys this. He likes being home; he likes being comfortable with his family. There's a certain draw to avoiding responsibilities for awhile, and eating his mother's cooking is never a negative. He ignores his mother's questions about their Leader as best as he can, and he kisses his mother's cheek to get out of answering why he's staying the night.  
Walking out to the fields in the morning with his mother and father, listening to his father whistle alongside his mother already singing some of the songs Jongin's grandmother has taught all her children, is a step outside of what has become Jongin's everyday life. He wonders if he'll ever get to feel this moment of peace with the alpha he calls mate. He frowns to himself, wrinkling his nose at the idea of Kyungsoo singing or whistling. He's never even heard the alpha truly laugh.  
Byulhee doesn't give Jongin orders to work, but Jongin hurries off to work among a group of betas that are a few sun cycles older than him. They work hard, and Jongin works harder, letting the strenuous work of the fields calm him. The betas barely speak, too intent on digging shallow trenches to better channel water through all areas of the field, and the silence is like existing in a moment of frozen time. Sweat drips down Jongin's back as he works the fields, the salt stinging his eyes, and he doesn't even realize he's blinking rapidly against the burn until a hand settles on his shoulder, and a pleasant smile shows in his blurry vision.  
"Second, wait," Juhyeon asks, her voice calm. Her hands are just as dirty as Jongin's, fingers stained brown. In front of Jongin, Yerim holds out a clean rag, and Jongin nods, letting her brush his bangs out of his face and wipe the sweat from his forehead.  
"Byulhee called for us already," Yerim says. There's dirt streaked across her cheeks, and she and Juhyeon wear twin tired expression.  
"This time of year is the worst for fieldwork," Juhyeon says. "Or so Yerim says." She plops down on the ground, nudging her charge with her elbow. Yerim shows her a face full of teeth. Jongin's heart warms. It's nice to see Juhyeon integrating into the pack, to see her earlier hostility starting to ease.  
"Juhyeon told me she hated field work," Yerim crows. "But I think she likes it."  
"Really?" Jongin asks, and it only occurs to him when he starts speaking how winded and thirsty he is. "I thought you might be able to figure her out, pup."  
"I'm going to get up and pretend my Second is not insulting me," Juhyeon sniffs, pushing herself to her feet. Yerim whines at her, holding up a hand and wiggling her fingers at her mentor.  
"Yes, brat," Juhyeon sighs, pulling Yerim up with her. She holds her hand out to Jongin next. "Coming?" Jongin wipes his hands on his shorts and reaches up to clasp Juhyeon's hand, allowing her to pull him to his feat. The dirt on their hands slides roughly over Jongin's skin, but the feeling of being with his pack takes away the sting of it.  
"Your hair looks nice," Jongin tells Yerim, throwing an arm over her shoulder. She ducks her head.  
"Juhyeon is better at braids than you, Second," Yerim whispers. She cackles when Jongin protests, and Juhyeon's fond look at Yerim takes away any offense he might have felt from Yerim's words.  
"Don't tell Seulgi that," Jongin whispers to Yerim. "She's the one who taught me."  
"Weren't you only six sun cycles or something then?" Yerim asks, bumping up against Jongin's side. She winds her arms around him middle, forcing Jongin to hold most of her weight as they walk up to the other wolves gathered around Jongin's mother, waiting to be dismissed.  
"Don't say it like I'm old!" Yerim simply bursts out laughing, snuggling her head against Jongin's chest. The dismissal is called out over the dirt-smeared pack members, and they all scatter.  
"Hey, Yerim!" Jeongguk's voice yells through the dispersing crowd, and Yerim jolts up.  
"No!" she screams, hurtling away from Jongin and running off across the fields. Less than a moment later, Jeongguk and Sooyoung go sprinting after her, dirt flying up behind them as they run. Yerim screams, racing off in the direction of the river.  
"She pranked them earlier," Juhyeon informs Jongin. She looks proud. "I guess she's due some revenge."  
"Seulgi's been coercing Yerim into pranking all the other pups for sun cycles now," Jongin laughs, rolling his eyes at Juhyeon. Her expression sours, but she manages to crack a grin through her twisted expression when she sees Jongin looking.  
Jongin draws his eyebrows down. "Is everything okay?" Juhyeon sighs, taking a few deep breaths. Jongin sets a hand on her shoulder, pressing his fingers into the skin at the back of her neck. It takes a moment for Juhyeon to relax, but she does, shoulders sagging.  
"I'm fine," her lips form. "Just. That omega- Seulgi. She rubs me the wrong way. Yerim loves her."  
"Yerim loves everyone," Jongin reminds. "So does Seulgi. Has she done something to upset you?"  
"No," Juhyeon denies, but Jongin has a sneaking suspicion she's not telling the truth. "It's nothing like that."  
"I see," Jongin says. He clears his throat. "Just know that I won't tolerate any sort of unnecessary discord in the pack. It weakens us." He ignores the hypocrisy of that statement.  
"Of course, Second," Juhyeon says, dipping her head. "I won't- I'll figure it out."  
"I'm sure you will," Jongin says, and his encouragement is met with a real smile from Juhyeon. She's truly a beautiful alpha, and for a moment that Jongin chooses to forget, he wishes that she'd been the one he'd been given to. "Come on." Jongin grabs Juhyeon's wrist, pulling her along behind him. "Let's go see whatever revenge the pups are going to exact on Yerim."  
Jongin runs across the territory with Juhyeon, arriving just in time to see Sooyoung and Jeongguk throw a screaming Yerim into the river, and he dives in after her, pulling the two other pups in with him. The day passes in a blur of laughter, and Jongin revels in the feeling of freedom with the sun sparkling on the surface of the river and the pack mates around him. He wishes for the day to never end, for the sun to never hide away so that he can avoid going back to Kyungsoo, but the moon rises high in an orange and purple sky, the wolves playing in the river running home to mates and parents.  
Second should return to the Leader too.  
Jongin trudges across the territory towards the glade, waiting for the nighttime breeze to dry his skin before he tugs his shirt back on. He shivers as he walks. The grass sticking to his bare feet is uncomfortable, but he can't bring himself to shift, dragging his feet and shoulders slumped.  
He doesn't expect to see Kyungsoo's wolf-form silhouetted in the light of the fire burning inside the cabin, the wolf standing in the open doorway as he waits for Jongin. Jongin stops walking, staring at the Leader of the pack, watching as the wolf takes an uncertain step forward, a low whines echoing in Jongin's ears.  
"Kyungsoo?" he asks, walking forward. The wolf stills, head held high, and Jongin drops to his knees in front of the alpha wolf, reaching out to sink his fingers into the fur at the scruff of Kyungsoo's neck. The wolf whines again, and Jongin sighs, getting up to walk inside, pulling Kyungsoo along with him.  
"Kyungsoo," Jongin says, startled when he sees the wolf clearly in the firelight. His dark fur is matted, his eyes cloudy. He looks like he hasn't slept in two days, and Jongin swallows hard as he realizes that the alpha probably hadn't. "Change back," Jongin orders, grabbing a rag from where he'd hung them to dry after washing. He dunks the fabric in the basin of clean water, noting that it's almost empty.  
The sound of Kyungsoo's bones snapping and reforming seems twice as loud as it should be in the quiet of the cabin, and Jongin hands him the rag, making a faint gesture for him to wipe himself down.  
"You look awful," he says, and then flinches, remembering his grandmother's lecture. Don't antagonize him, she'd said. Jongin owes it to the pack he'd spent the afternoon laughing with to at least try to do better in his relationship with Kyungsoo.  
"You left," Kyungsoo rasps, and he wipes the rag over his face. "I didn't sleep. Eat. I couldn't- I-"  
"I told you I wasn't leaving," Jongin says, trying to keep his voice gentle. "I just needed some time."  
"You being physically distant hurts me," Kyungsoo tells him. "We're bonded."  
"Because we have to be," Jongin says. "Let's not pretend that you would have chosen me or that I would have chosen you if neither of us had won that tournament."  
Kyungsoo shakes his head and clears his throat, but his voice is still like the edges of water reeds- sharp and rough. "Remember when you told me that you'll do anything you deem necessary for the pack?"  
Jongin nods. "I do."  
"Directly after that you told me that I am as much pack as anyone else in this territory," Kyungsoo's voice is quiet, a broken whisper. Jongin goes back to the basin, scooping some fresh water into a small bowl to hand to Kyungsoo. The alpha wolf takes it, but he doesn't drink, choosing instead to focus on Jongin. "You said you weren't leaving the pack, but you walked away from me."  
Jongin's heart thuds in his chest.  
"I'm pack too, Jongin," Kyungsoo reminds him. "You said it first."  
Jongin swallows, watches Kyungsoo watch him for another few long moments before he sags, taking sips of the water. Jongin drops back on his furs, staring at his hands and the dirt still caught under his fingernails. He knows what he needs to say, but he doesn't want to say it. He can imagine his grandmother's disappointment if he doesn't, and he can imagine the fragile state of the pack falling to ruin all because of his stubbornness.  
His voice shakes. "I'm sorry," he breathes so quietly he's not really sure he could even hear himself speak. Kyungsoo's head snaps up, and Jongin can feel his eyes boring into him where his heart beats too fast in his chest and his stomach is crawling up into his throat.  
"Jongin?" he asks.  
"I'm sorry," Jongin repeats, louder this time. "I'm sorry I walked away. It hurt me too, but I ignored it because I didn't want- I don't want to need you. But that's not how the pack works, and I'm- we're- slowly ruining our own pack because we can't get along. And just- I'm sorry I've been Second for this pack but I haven't been Second for you." He stops, biting his lower lip and finally looking up to meet Kyungsoo's stunned gaze. "That's all," he adds when Kyungsoo's mouths works but the silence stretches on.  
"Okay," Kyungsoo says, exhaling. "Thank you."  
Jongin twists his hands in the furs he's sitting on. "Okay," he echoes. "I'll just-"  
"I'm sorry too," Kyungsoo interrupts. "This isn't easy, and I just- I didn't think it would be, but I didn't realize it would be so hard. You're not what I expected."  
"I see," Jongin says.  
"It's a good think," Kyungsoo says. "I think. The moon goddess knows best, right?"  
Jongin coughs. "Right," he says. Kyungsoo nods at him and makes his way over to his own pile of furs, limping slightly in his exhaustion.  
"Goodnight, then, Jongin," Kyungsoo murmurs. The alpha wolf turns over, his back to Jongin, and Jongin watches him for just a moment before something Kyungsoo had said registers with him. Jongin groans, pushing himself up out of his furs again. Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder at him, his eyebrows furrowed. He raises one at Jongin pulling his shirt over his head.  
"You said you haven't eaten," Jongin states in answer. Kyungsoo blinks and then shakes his head in confirmation. "Get up," Jongin says and flinches at the clear ring of an order in his tone. He tries again. "Let's go hunt," he offers. "Or I'll go. You need to eat something."  
Kyungsoo pushes himself up slowly. "Okay," he agrees. "Let's go hunt." He shifts then, falling onto all fours as a giant, black wolf, and Jongin steps out of his shorts to shift, walking just in front of Kyungsoo as they pad out silently into the night.  
Listen to him. Apologize when due. That is what Jongin's grandmother had told him, saying that the rest will follow in turn. If hunting in the dark of night is what comes next, then maybe Jongin can do this. Maybe he can learn to be Second for the Leader of this pack.  
He catches a scent and turns left sharply, Kyungsoo following him. The hunt has begun.  
~*~  
Jongin’s eyes snap open as the pale orange morning light begins to creep through the cracks in the cabin. He feels almost displaced, waking up in a place he’s associated with anger and resentment with a new sense of purpose. He had needed the two days away from Kyungsoo, but the pack had not needed his distance from the wolf he is supposed to call mate. Spending time with Kyungsoo, being with him- the thought still churns his stomach. The time away from Kyungsoo had helped calm him, and the night spent back in the cabin that belongs to the leadership pair had centered him. His grandmother is a wise woman. Jongin has much to learn.  
He stands from his furs, stretching his arms above his head. His shoulder cracks with a satisfying pop!, and Jongin leans down to snatch up his shirt, tugging it on. He glances over at Kyungsoo's pile of furs, and the alpha is still sleeping, curled up in his wolf form with his tail tucked over his nose.  
"Kyungsoo," Jongin says softly, taking one tentative step closer to the black wolf. "Kyungsoo, wake up." Kyungsoo doesn't move, and Jongin sighs, steeling himself and walking up to Kyungsoo, squatting down by the alpha's bedding. "Kyungsoo," he murmurs. Kyungsoo just snorts in his sleep, ruffling the dark fur on his tail. Jongin reaches out, slowly settling a hand on Kyungsoo's shoulder. "Hey. Kyungsoo. Get up." He shakes the wolf gently, his fingers sliding through thick fur, and Kyungsoo jolts.  
The wolf jumps up, his teeth bared, and Jongin instantly snatches his hand back, baring his own teeth at Kyungsoo.  
"It's morning," he says. Kyungsoo blinks at him, calming after taking a moment to see that nothing is going on besides Jongin insisting he wake up. He groans, brushing past Jongin.  
"Where are you going?" Jongin asks. Kyungsoo gives his answer by moving to stand over the pants he'd stripped out of that night before they'd left to go hunting. He shifts, and Jongin glances away.  
"We're mated." Kyungsoo's words alert Jongin that he's changed, and Jongin turns back to look at him.  
"Formality," he reminds him.  
"Still," Kyungsoo says, "you don't have to... look away."  
"Do you want me to stare at you?" Jongin asks, eyebrow raised. Kyungsoo coughs.  
"I suppose not," he says. Silence falls over them, and Jongin shifts, trying to shrug off the sudden uncomfortable feeling. "Well," Kyungsoo says, clearing his throat. "I'll go gather a hunting party." He looks at Jongin, expression just as uncomfortable as Jongin feels. "Will you lead the patrols today?"  
Jongin starts to nod, but then readjusts to shake his head instead. "No," he answers. Kyungsoo's face hardens.  
"No?" he asks.  
"No," Jongin confirms. "Ask Seungwan to lead to patrols. I have something else I need to do."  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo starts, voice lowered, edging on a growl. "You spent the last two days hiding from me. The pack-"  
"The pack needs me right now," Jongin cuts in. "The pack needs you too." He stands, walking right up to Kyungsoo. "I'm not going to lead the patrols. And you're not going to lead the hunting party. Let someone else do it."  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo's tone is covered, a warning. "I'm Leader-"  
"I know!" Jongin defends. "I know. You're the leader. As leader, you should know everything that goes on to keep this pack alive." Kyungsoo's shoulders relax, but his arms remain crossed. Jongin takes that as permission to keep explaining. "You were out running patrol when I introduced the rest of the alphas and betas to the fields."  
"I know what the fields are for," Kyungsoo argues.  
"Do you know how they work?" Jongin demands. "Do you know that even you and I follow orders there? Do you know how to plant? How to tend to them?" Kyungsoo swallows and looks down. His silence is answer enough. "Everyone in this pack is fully invested in ensuring our survival. You and I need to be the most proactive."  
"What do you want me to do, Jongin?" Kyungsoo relents. "Dig in the dirt?"  
"I want you to come with me to the fields and work," Jongin says. Kyungsoo's eyes narrow, and Jongin doesn't back down. "Please." Kyungsoo is silent, mulling it over. Jongin swallows, holding himself still, trying to not show his irritation. He wants to add more, to insist that the pack needs this, that Kyungsoo needs this too, but Kyungsoo has to make it own decisions. Jongin can't force him to be a certain type of Leader; his grandmother had told him that. He can, however, offer him opportunities to be the best leader he can be.  
And maybe, along the way, Jongin, too, will learn how to be the Second the pack needs.  
"Alright," Kyungsoo relents. "Let's at least get the two parties out, and then we'll go to the fields."  
"Okay," Jongin says, and he flinches at how bright and he relieved he sounds. "Okay," he repeats, a little softer. "I'll send the patrol if you send the hunting party?"  
"Yeah," Kyungsoo agrees. "Yeah. Sounds..."  
"Effective," Jongin supplies, striding towards the front of the cabin. "It's effective." He and Kungsoo walk down to the glade together, and Jongin keeps his distance from Kyungsoo, not letting their arms brush. They're not friends, but they can at least be amiable. They have a lot to learn, but Jongin is going to put the pack as their priority. They, the two of them, can wait.  
"Hoseok!" Jongin calls out, and Kyungsoo's voice rings loud and clear right after his.  
"Seungwan!" Two wolves bound up to them almost immediately, First's dark silver fur appearing almost pale next to the deep midnight of Jongdae's. A few moments later, Hoseok runs up to them, pushing his hair out of his face.  
"Leader," he greets verbally while the two wolves dip their heads, ears pressed back. "Second."  
"Hunting parties and patrols," Kyungsoo says. "Seungwan could you take a hunting party out?" The silver wolf yips, dipping her head again and taking off across the glade with Jongdae beside her. She howls, a gathering call, and a few wolves glance up. A variety of wolves step from the forest around the glade, fur sleek and healthy. Some choose to follow Seungwan out, and by the time she's exited the glade, a full hunting party is stalking behind her in a single-file line.  
Jongin's chest swells. His pack is healthy- for now. He sets his jaw. He plans to keep it that way even when winter inevitably rolls in.  
"Hoseok, take a patrol," Jongin orders. "If you come across anything suspicious, fetch Taemin from the fields."  
"Alright, Second," Hoseok cheers in agreement. "He's that tracker, yeah?" Jongin nods, and Hoseok grins at them, waving as he darts off. "I'm off, then!" Kyungsoo snorts next to Jongin when Hoseok is out of earshot.  
"What?" Jongin asks. Kyungsoo shrugs.  
"I've never seen him so awake in the morning," Kyungsoo says. "He's always bright, but he's not always awake before noon." The alpha bites his bottom lip, chewing on it in thought. "Curious."  
Images of Taehyung's sudden piqued interest, of Hoseok staring right back at his cousin, flash through Jongin's mind, and he swallows his growl. "Yeah," he agrees. "Curious."  
"To the fields?" Kyungsoo asks, and he sounds so unexcited that it startles a laugh from Jongin. Leader scowls at him, and Jongin just laughs again, taking off walking in the direction of the fields.  
"Come on," he says. "The fields wait for no one."  
"Are they going to run away?" Kyungsoo grumbles dryly, and Jongin freezes, staring at him. "What?" Kyungsoo sniffs.  
"That was..." Jongin swallows. "Almost funny." He coughs. "Let's just go." They traipse through the glade and over the well-trodden ground towards to fields in silence, walking with just enough distance between themselves to keep from touching but close enough to give the illusion of being comfortable. Their elbows brush on occasion, and Jongin fights to keep the annoyed cringe off of his face. A glance over at Kyungsoo reveals the alpha looking just as uncomfortable and uncertain as Jongin feels.  
"We're here," he says when the smell of green and mud becomes interspersed with the scent of sweat and crops. The trees thin, and together, he and Kyungsoo break out into the open air, the sun already beating down on them through the sparse summer clouds.  
Kyungsoo lets out a low murmur of what sounds almost like appreciation, and Jongin ducks his head to hide his pleased smile.  
"You've never seen this before?" Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo shakes his head slowly, eyes wide as he watches the pack work and sing to pass the hours of labor. "Even with all the patrols you did?" Kyungsoo shakes his head again.  
"No," he admits. "I never came inland enough. I really..." He trails out, and Jongin watches him fidget. "I really didn't want to be seen," Kyungsoo whispers, so quietly Jongin almost misses it. His skin itches with Kyungsoo's words, with how much he relates. He hadn't hid away the way Kyungsoo had, but he wanted to. He wonders if that really makes him any better than Kyungsoo, if desires sometimes weigh heavier than desires.  
"Oh," Jongin says because he doesn't know what else to say. There's silence between them for a moment, the two of them simply watching their pack continue to work, and Jongin suddenly wants to turn around, to pretend he'd never brought Kyungsoo out here. His grandmother had advised Jongin to introduce Kyungsoo to the pack, but she hadn't mentioned that spending time with him would eventually break down the barriers between them.  
Jongin clenches his jaw. He's not ready for that. He's not ready to be anything but enemies with the wolf he's supposed to call mate.  
"People are looking over here," Kyungsoo mutters. Jongin glances around, and sure enough, a few of the wolves working on the field closest to them are shifting constantly between doing their work and looking at them. It's nearly every day that Second makes an appearance at the fields, working alongside them, but it's been over a couple moons since Leader has stepped onto these grounds. "Shall we?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin straightens his back and squares his shoulders.  
"Get ready to sweat," he says, walking forward into the field with Kyungsoo beside him. Wolves stop working as they pass to bow, murmurs of 'Leader' following them.  
"Why aren't they greeting you?" Kyungsoo hisses, voice kept low so that his words reach only Jongin's ears.  
"They see me nearly every day," Jongin says as they pass Jeongguk and Sooyoung. Sooyoung waves to him, and Jongin holds out his hand to clasp with Jeongguk. The pups bow to Kyungsoo like the others, but their bright smiles are for Jongin. His heart feels warm. "I'm not nearly as interesting as Leader is."  
Kyungsoo doesn't answer, instead walking towards the center where the four fields meet with his head held high. Their pack members bow deeper in response, and Jongin sighs at Kyungsoo's unintentional display of dominance. Body language speaks loudest in a pack of wolves, and Kyungsoo's voice as Leader is the strongest. Jongin picks up his pace, stepping in beside Kyungsoo and reaching up to scratch lightly at Kyungsoo's hairline. The alpha tenses, glancing over at Jongin.  
"Show," Jongin murmurs, both a reminder and a warning. Kyungsoo relaxes, and his chin drops just a bit. He looks much more welcoming this way, and the next few pack members they pass do not drop to their knees or completely hide their faces.  
"Ma," Jongin calls gently when he and Kyungsoo step into the soft grass that separates the four corners of the fields. His mother looks up from sorting seeds, encouraging the pups watching her to try on their own.  
"Second," she says, her face relaxing. She bows. "Leader."  
Kyungsoo looks to Jongin, an eyebrow raised. Jongin forces himself to swallow his pride.  
"Leader," he addresses Kyungsoo for the first time, his eyes slightly narrowed. "This is my mother, Byulhee."  
"Pleasure to finally and formally meet my son's mate," Byulhee says, taking Kyungsoo's offered hand. "I'm sure it hasn't been easy."  
Jongin sighs, and Kyungsoo looks wildly confused. Byulhee tugs him into a hug instead, somehow managing to dwarf Kyungsoo even though she stands only at his shoulders. Kyungsoo's eyes are wide, shocked. He looks like a pup for a moment, and Jongin coughs to hide his laugh. Kyungsoo glares at him over Jongin's mother's shoulder.  
"It's good to have you here," Byulhee says, releasing Kyungsoo and stepping back. "Come to see how things are coming along this year?"  
"Actually, I'm here to work," Kyungsoo says. "Nini- Second says I need to learn." Byulhee turns expectant eyes on Jongin.  
"These are your lands," she says gently to Kyungsoo. "And this is your pack. It's your decision to learn."  
Jongin closes his eyes. His mother has given Kyungsoo the ability to walk away after how hard Jongin worked to convince him to come out here. He clenches his fists.  
"Second is right," Kyungsoo says. "The best leader doesn't shy away any responsibility."  
"Oh, I can see why the moon chose you," Byulhee sing-songs, visibly delighted. Jongin wants to whine, to roll his eyes and say that he had been the one to get Kyungsoo to come here, but then he remembers that as Leader, Kyungsoo still stands above him in the pack hierarchy. If he had really objected to the idea, he would have. Jongin's mother claps her hands together. "These lands haven't felt the touch of our Leader since moons before Minyoung left," Byulhee adds, smiling. "We're honored to have you with us."  
"I'm ready to learn," Kyungsoo responds, and Byulhee's smile only widens, her eyes turning up into crescents. She's genuinely pleased to hear it, and Jongin's heart thuds in his chest, the knots in his stomach loosening. His grandmother had told him Kyungsoo is leader for a reason that Jongin cannot see, but maybe here, right now, Jongin is getting a glimpse of it.  
"I guess there's no better teacher than our own Second," Byulhee says. "He's been out here on the fields since before he knew how to shift."  
"Ma," Jongin protests. His mother blows a kiss his way, and while Jongin grumbles in annoyance, Kyungsoo lets out a soft chuckle that Jongin fights to not jerk up in surprise in response.  
"I'll let you two get to work then," Byulhee says. "The third field needs weeding, if you want to start with something easy." She winks at Jongin, ignoring his grumbling, before bowing to Kyungsoo. "Leader," she says. She doesn't leave it that, stepping forward quickly to kiss Jongin's cheek. "Second." She dips her head to her son before she darts away towards the third field.  
"Ma," Jongin repeats, wiping at his cheek. He rolls his eyes. "Mothers." He turns to look at Kyungsoo for some sort of agreement, but Kyungsoo just looks bright-eyed and slightly awed.  
"I like her," Kyungsoo tells him. "Your mom."  
"Really?" Jongin asks. "My ma?"  
"Yeah." Kyungsoo shrugs. "She's, I don't know, bright."  
Jongin snorts. "You should meet my cousin then. He's also very..." Jongin flounders for a second. "Sparkly," he settles on.  
"Well," Kyungsoo says, and he sounds unsure, hesitant. "I suppose since I'm your mate, I should know your family." He lets out a breath, and he looks at Jongin, unsure.  
"Sure," Jongin agrees. "At some point, I'm sure you'll end up meeting them all." Kyungsoo nods, and Jongin stiffly leads him over towards the third field where the barley is green and ankle high. "So," he starts, kneeling down. "This is barley."  
"Like tea," Kyungsoo comments.  
Jongin's lips quirk up. "Yeah," he says. "This is what we use in tea during winter." He points at an equally green plant, the leaves prickly and the top of it slightly yellow. "And this is a weed."  
"It's a dandelion," Kyungsoo states.  
"It will be," Jongin says.  
"Aren't those flowers?" Kyungsoo asks. Jongin shakes his head.  
"Not among our crops they're not," he says, and reiterates, "Weeds."  
"Weeds," Kyungsoo repeats, and he's quiet as Jongin shows him how to carefully pull the weed from the soil, making sure all the roots come free. "That's not difficult," he says, watching Jongin strip off his shirt and set the weed on top of it, keeping its seeds from finding a new home in the ground he'd pulled it from.  
"No," Jongin agrees. "But it is easy to mess up. Or to cut yourself. So just be careful." Kyungsoo stares hard at him for a moment, and Jongin clears his throat, gesturing towards another weed growing happily near Kyungsoo's knee. "Your turn."  
Kyungsoo goes slow, digging carefully around the plant first before he starts to work it free of the soil. Jongin watches until Kyungsoo's managed to get the weed free, setting it on Jongin's discarded shirt. "Are we going to be doing this all day?" Kyungsoo asks, and he sounds absolutely horrified. Jongin can't help himself; he bursts into laughter.  
"Welcome to the fields," he snorts, reaching out and patting Kyungsoo's shoulder. He freezes with his fingertips still resting against the fabric of Kyungsoo's shirt, and Kyungsoo stares back at him. Jongin pulls his hand away like he's been burned.  
"I'm gonna have to come again and learn more," Kyungsoo says slowly. The moment cracks and breaks, the second of comfort between them returning to their usual distance.  
"To learn it all, yes," Jongin agrees.  
"More weeds?" Jongin nods, sliding back and dragging his shirt with them. They work in silence for the most part, Jongin helping Kyungsoo with the more stubborn weeds. They make it through two rows of the field before Kyungsoo lets out a low groan of discomfort, and Jongin looks up at him.  
"This is the least comfortable thing," Kyungsoo says.  
"You get used to it," Jongin says. "Or you don't and suffer through it."  
"Like shifting," Kyungsoo says.  
"Yes," Jongin says. "Exactly like shifting."  
Suddenly, the silence becomes less of a protective barrier and more of a comfortable quiet as they keep working. They make it to the fourth row of barley when Byulhee's howl to end the day's work sounds. Jongin's skin feels a little burned, but his stomach doesn't feel queasy with his closeness to Kyungsoo.  
Beyond being mates, he thinks they're reaching a level of understanding now. He might venture to call them good acquaintances.  
"What is that?" Kyungsoo asks, bristling at the howl.  
"My ma," Jongin answers. "The day's over. It's high noon."  
Kyungsoo glances up at the sky, squinting. "Oh," he says. "I hadn't even noticed."  
"You were awfully invested in pulling weeds," Jongin teases, and he himself is surprised at his own willingness to joke.  
"I was thinking," Kyungsoo defends, standing.  
"Hard or hardly?" Jongin says, and he's rewarded with a slight smile and shove from Kyungsoo. Not hating each other seems awfully nice right now. He leads Kyungsoo back to the meeting point of the four fields, gathering around his mother with the other wolves. Many of them murmur, stepping aside to allow Kyungsoo and Jongin more space.  
"Don't," Jongin encourages them. "We're pack too." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kyungsoo nod in agreement.  
"Is everyone here?" Byulhee asks, standing on her tiptoes to try to peer over the wolves standing around her. Murmurs of confirmation come from the crowd, and Byulhee smiles gratefully. "Then," she says, "I thank you all for your hard work. We're looking to be in good shape with the crops this year, and this means winter won't be too difficult." A few cheers answer her, and Jongin knows his pride is obvious on his face. He looks over at Kyungsoo, and the alpha looks just as pleased, if not more, to hear the news.  
"Alright then," Byulhee says. "That's it for today. You all can-"  
A shrill scream rings out, the sound bouncing off the sky, and Jongin flinches, shoving through the crowd of wolves immediately. He knows that voice.  
"Where is Yerim?" he demands.  
"Fourth field," one of the other pups answers him. "She was pulling weeds with her mentor there-" Jongin doesn't stay to hear the rest, turning in the direction of the fourth field. The wolves part for him immediately, and Jongin runs towards the fourth field. Kyungsoo’s footsteps follow him, running in time with his own. As soon as he clears the crowd of wolves, he sees Yerim there, kneeling on the ground in the corn, Juhyeon hovering over her, hands held out awkwardly as if afraid to touch the omega. Alarm mars her features, and Jongin’s stomach twists, tangling up his insides.  
“Juhyeon,” Jongin starts, reaching out to grab Juhyeon’s upper arm, demanding her attention. The tang of Yerim’s blood is sharp in Jongin’s nose, and Juhyeon shakes in his hold, the alpha’s eyes wide. She glances between Jongin and her charge, clearly uncertain.  
“Juhyeon,” Kyungsoo snaps. “Focus.”  
“What happened?” Jongin demands. “Tell me,” he adds, ignoring Kyungsoo’s warning hand on his shoulder. He needn’t ask; the answer is clear enough in the purple flowers and the angry rash breaking out on Yerim’s skin. The omega pup tries her best to swallow her sobs, but her body trembles with the pain, her knees sunk deep into the dirt.  
“Wolfsbane,” Juhyeon gasps out in answer. “She went to grab it before I could stop her.”  
Jongin crouches down, shrugging out of Kyungsoo’s hold, pulling Yerim into his arms. The rash is creeping up her left arm, dark and blistering around her sliced palm. She collapses back against Jongin’s chest, and Jongin grabs her hand, holding it away from her body.  
“She’s not bleeding,” Kyungsoo says, and he’s kneeling now too, eyeing Yerim’s hand and the wolfsbane plant. Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo then at the cut on Yerim’s hand.  
“It’s not deep,” he tells Kyungsoo.  
“The poison-” Kyungsoo starts to explain, but Jongin already understands. If the cut were deeper, still bleeding, the poison could be flushed out naturally. As it is, the rash is spreading, the poison seeped deeply into her skin.  
“Shit,” Jongin swears under his breath, and Juhyeon lets out a distressed wail sound. The others of the back are staring over there, some coming over, but Jongin’s mother stands in front of them all, keeping them back, giving Jongin and Kyungsoo space. Yerim whimpers, biting into Jongin’s shoulder, muffling her crying. “We have to get her to medicine hut,” Jongin says, hoping his voice doesn’t betray exactly how frantic he feels.  
“No,” Kyungsoo cuts in. “Second. You and I- we’re the best defense against wolfsbane this pack has.”  
Jongin narrows his eyes. “What?”  
“The tournament,” Kyungsoo reminds him. “The test. The wolfsbane.”  
Understanding dawns on Jongin, and bile rises in his throat. “The others survived a dose of it just fine,” he argues. “She’ll-”  
“She’s a pup,” Kyungsoo speaks. “What if her connection to her wolf is ruined forever?”  
Jongin squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. He can’t let that happen. “I have to hurt her more to get the poison out. I don’t know if I-”  
“She’ll die if you don’t, Second,” Kyungsoo tells him. Jongin swallows.  
“Please,” Juhyeon asks, dropping to sit beside Jongin. She takes Yerim’s other hand in hers, soothing her thumb over the omega pup’s knuckles. “Whatever it is. You can’t let her-” She chokes, stopping herself before she can say die.  
Jongin refuses to let that happen.  
“Hold her,” he requests, his resolve hardened. Juhyeon pulls Yerim into her lap, and Jongin glances at her pale face.  
“Be careful, Second,” Kyungsoo urges, and Jongin looks back at him. “I’ll take care of the wolfsbane. You take care of the pup.” Jongin nods.  
“Yerim,” Jongin calls, reaching out to brush Yerim’s hair off of her forehead. “Yerim, can you look at me?”  
The pup’s eyes do not open, but she whimpers weakly. “Second.”  
“Yes, I’m here,” Jongin says. “Listen to me. This is going to hurt.”  
“Hurts,” Yerim echoes, and Jongin meets Juhyeon’s terrified eyes.  
“Hold her still,” he asks, and then he takes Yerim’s hand and lets his nails lengthen into claws. Carefully, he drags his middle claw through the cut on Yerim’s palm, the smell of fresh blood laced with wolfsbane. Yerim shrieks, and Jongin presses on pulling a trapped bit of the plant from her hand. “Okay,” he whispers to himself, and then he ducks down, laving his tongue through the cut and carefully drawing the poison out of her, swallowing it. He can’t spit it on the ground and risk it infecting the corn crop, and he can’t risk the poison affecting anyone else. His stomach churns, an echo of the pain he’d experienced only a few moons ago. He hears Kyungsoo hiss behind him, and the concerned, confused murmurs of the pack watching them.  
Jongin sucks gently over Yerim’s wound again, and it tastes clean, no trace of wolfsbane. He pulls back, watching the rash on her skin instantly calming. The blistering on her palm is still there, but that too will heal. She’ll be okay. Jongin slumps in relief, pulling Yerim back into his arms, cradling her head.  
“Second!” Byulhee’s panicked voice interrupts Jongin’s moment, and he glances up at his mother. Her eyes are wide. “That’s- you- are you-?” Jongin just nods.  
“I’m fine, Ma,” he promises. “Wolfsbane is-” He clears his throat. “The moon goddess will protect me for protecting my pack,” he says. The wolves watching seemed warmed by this, relaxed and comforted. His mother looks so proud even if her mouth is still drawn into a worried frown.  
“Second…” Juhyeon murmurs. “Thank you.” She looks over at Kyungsoo. “Leader. You too.” Kyungsoo stands, moving beside Jongin. His shirt is balled in his hand, and Jongin can smell the wolfsbane inside the fabric.  
“Keep closer watch of her,” Kyungsoo says. “She’s your responsibility.”  
“Yes,” Juhyeon says, bowing her head.  
Jongin loops an arm under Yerim’s knees, cradling her like a newborn pup, lifting her into his arms as he stands. She’s passed out, and Juhyeon carefully tucks the pup’s head more comfortably into Jongin’s shoulder. “I’m taking her to medicine hut,” he says. “Come.”  
Juhyeon nods.  
“You can dismiss the pack,” Kyungsoo tells Byulhee. He stops in front of an alpha that Jongin recognizes. “Yoongi, burn this.” Kyungsoo hands over the wolfsbane still wrapped in his shirt. “Don’t open it.”  
Yoongi snorts. “Obviously, Leader.” Kyungsoo nods curtly, and he and Jongin do not stick around to see their directions followed, trudging off through the territory back towards the glade.  
“I tried to stop her,” Juhyeon says when they break into the open sunlight of the glade. “I really did.”  
“I know,” Kyungsoo says before Jongin can. “You wouldn’t have let her kill herself, Juhyeon. It wasn’t your-”  
“Yerim!” The screech is followed by a flurry of movement from the medicine hut, Seulgi rushing out. “What happened?” she demands. “She’s not dead is she?”  
“Seulgi!” Jongin shouts. “She’s fine.”  
“She’s unconscious!” Seulgi argues. “That’s isn’t fine.” She turns to Juhyeon, snarling at the alpha. “She’s your responsibility,” Seulgi growls. “What did you do?”  
Juhyeon bristles, her shoulders slumped. She looks defeated, but an omega antagonizing her incites her instinct to assert dominance. “I did nothing,” she snarls.  
“Seulgi,” Kyungsoo cuts in. “This can wait until after Yerim is taken care of, yeah?” Seulgi shrinks, ducking her head.  
“Yes, Leader,” she says. “Of course. Come this way.” She glares over her shoulder at Juhyeon, leading them into the medicine hut. It’s dark inside, the low light from the fires in each room keeping the heat up. “She’ll have to be bathed first before we can give her a pallet,” Seulgi says, holding out her arms. “Keep everything as clean as possible. I’ll take her.”  
“I should,” Juhyeon interrupts. “I’m her mentor.”  
“Oh, some mentor,” Seulgi sneers. “Landing her here.”  
“Seulgi,” Jongin warns.  
“You don’t even know what happened,” Juhyeon retorts.  
“Does that matter when you’re the one who is supposed to keep her safe?” Seulgi steps in close to Juhyeon, a clear challenge. “It looks like you failed.”  
“Stop this. Both of you,” Kyungsoo orders, stepping between the arguing pair. Jongin puts on his most unimpressed expression, watching the both of them with a frown on his face. Kyungsoo growls a warning note low in the back of his throat, and Juhyeon finally relents to her Leader’s orders, backing down first.  
“I’ll go find her parents,” Juhyeon offers. “They’ll want to know.”  
“I’ll come with you,” Kyungsoo says. “Second, can you-?”  
“I’ll handle things here,” Jongin promises.  
“I’ll be back,” Kyungoo tells him, and he turns, walking away with Juhyeon. Seulgi’s angry stare follows the alpha female out, and the second they’ve disappeared back outside, she scoffs, muttering a few choice words under breath and turning to walk deeper into the hut, waving at Jongin to follow to her.  
Two priestesses receive them at the baths, leading them in. Jongin carries Yerim all the way to the water’s edge, stepping away to let the women undress and bathe her. Seulgi’s hands never leave Yerim’s hair, gently keeping her head above the water. Jongin directs his gaze to his feet, standing awkwardly off to the side as the priestesses scrub Yerim’s skin clear of the dirt from the fields.  
“Second,” one of the priestesses call, and Jongin looks up from the floor. The priestess gestures at Yerim, now dry and redressed in a simple dress, “Will you help us?” Jongin nods, coming forward to gather the pup into his arms again.  
“The far wing is mostly empty,” the other priestess tells Seulgi. “Take her there.”  
“Thanks, Hyejin,” Seulgi says. She walks off again, and Jongin follows her, glancing down at Yerim’s sleeping face. She’s fine, he reminds himself. She’s going to be just fine. Her body is just exhausted from the contact with the poison. Her wolf needs to heal.  
Seulgi is quiet, helping Jongin tuck Yerim into one of the pallets, pulling a blanket up to her chin and keeping her injured hand free.  
“The head priestess will be here soon to check on her,” Seulgi murmurs, brushing Yerim’s hair back.  
Jongin nods. “Yeah.” Seulgi sighs, stepping back.  
“Are you going to tell me what happened?”  
Jongin shrugs. “Are you going to tell me why you’re always so quick to attack Juhyeon?” The female omega snorts.  
“I just don’t like her,” Seulgi answers simply. Jongin grabs her wrist, making sure she’s looking him in the eye.  
“I don’t care,” Jongin tells her in a hushed tone. “She is Yerim’s mentor and a member of my pack. As are you. I told her before, and I’ll tell you now: if you choose to hate her, that’s fine. But letting it interfere with the pack, with a pup’s health, will not be tolerated.”  
“She let Yerim get hurt!” Seulgi hisses. “She’s supposed to be watching over her.”  
“She didn’t allow her to get hurt,” Jongin returns. “She’s probably the first reason Yerim wasn’t dead before I could get to her.”  
“Dead?” Seulgi bites her lip, watching the sleeping pup.  
“Wolfsbane,” Jongin answers. “If Juhyeon hadn’t been watching her, Yerim could be dead right now.”  
“Wolfsbane?” a familiar, far-too-smooth voice interrupts. Jongin looks over Seulgi’s shoulder to see the head priestess striding into the room, her shawl flowing out behind her. “Second,” she greets. “It’s a nice surprise to see you.”  
Jongin bites his tongue. “This pup was poisoned by wolfsbane,” Jongin explains instead of returning her greeting. “She had a cut on her hand when she came into contact with it.” The head priestess nods, walking around Yerim’s pallet to examine her palm.  
“The cut looks clean,” the head priestess says. “Only a little blistering. There really aren’t any signs of infection.” A slow smile steals over the head priestess’ face. “I see our Second has realized one of his strengths.”  
Seulgi’s eyes narrow. “What is she talking about?”  
Jongin shrugs.  
“Tell her, Second,” the head priestess urges.  
“When will you understand that as Second he does not answer to you?” the authoritative tone of Leader interrupts. Jongin turns around to see Kyungsoo and Juhyeon reenter the room. Behind them, Yerim’s mother and father walk in.  
“Yerim,” her mother gaps, grabbing onto her mate’s hand. He wraps an arm around her instantly, and Jongin ignores the flash of jealousy at their display of comfort and affection.  
“Come see her,” the head priestess says. “She’s just sleeping. She’ll be alright.” Yerim’s parents walk forward, and while her mother goes directly to her bedside, sitting beside her and holding her uninjured hand, her father stops right in front of Jongin.  
“Leader told me what happened,” the man says. “What you did. Thank you for saving my daughter.”  
“She’s like my little sister,” Jongin says. “I wouldn’t have let her- I mean. I’m Second. I had to.”  
“Still,” the man insists. “You could be lying right next to her.” He bows. “Thank you.” Jongin blinks, trying to clear his eyes. His eyes burn suddenly; he’s overwhelmed.  
“Thank you,” Yerim’s mother echoes her mate. “Second, thank you so much.” She dips her head, and Jongin does the only thing he can think to do. He bows back. A hand settles on his shoulder, and Jongin half expects it to be Kyungsoo. The hand is considerably smaller than Kyungsoo’s, however.  
“Tell me what you did,” Seulgi demands.  
“He sucked the poison out,” Juhyeon answers for Jongin. “He wasn’t even phased by it.” Seulgi turns to face Juhyeon, her features twisted.  
“I didn’t ask you,” she snaps.  
“You didn't ask Second either,” Juhyeon quips. “You ordered.”  
“Out, both of you, if you’re going to fight,” Kyungsoo orders. “This is not the time or place.”  
“Yes, Leader,” Juhyeon says. She looks to the head priestess. “As Yerim’s mentor, I request permission to stay.” The head priestess nods.  
“Of course,” she says. “Stay as long as you like. I’m sure Yerim will be awake by morning.” Yerim’s parents thank her, and Juhyeon moves to kneel at the other side of the pallet, watching intently as the head priestess gets to work bandaging Yerim’s hand.  
“I’ll go,” Seulgi mutters.  
“You’re dismissed from work for the day,” Jongin tells her. “It’s past noon.”  
Seulgi glances to Yerim and to Juhyeon before she bows to Jongin and Kyungsoo. “Okay,” she says, still giving Juhyeon a most distrustful glance. “I’ll be around if something- if something changes.”  
“Someone will come find you, I promise,” the head priestess assures. Seulgi nods, leaving then.  
“Should we leave too?” Kyungsoo asks Jongin quietly, and Jongin startles at his sudden proximity.  
“One moment, please,” the head priestess says before Jongin can tell Kyungsoo ‘yes.’ “I would like to speak with you both.” She sets Yerim’s hand down, now bandaged, and stands, brushing off her dress as she does. “Come with me,” she requests, walking past Jongin and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo glances at Jongin with his eyebrows furrowed. Jongin shrugs, making a face to show his displeasure. Kyungsoo nods once in agreement.  
“The moon goddess has tested you both today,” the head priestess says. “Wolfsbane. You’re feeling alright?” She directs the question to Jongin.  
“Fine,” Jongin answers. “Ready to enjoy the rest of the day.”  
“With Leader?”  
Jongin grits his teeth. “Yes.”  
“It’s wonderful to see you two getting along,” the head priestess says, and she truly does sound overjoyed, her smooth voice lilting.  
“Even if we didn’t,” Kyungsoo cuts in, “we’d never let you see.” He grabs Jongin’s wrist, and Jongin is mollified by the sudden rage on the head priestesses face. “We’re going to leave now, Priestess.” He drags Jongin out of the medicine hut without waiting for an answer, and Jongin finally can breathe once they’re outside.  
“I hate her,” he says.  
“Me too,” Kyungsoo agrees.  
“Glad there is one thing we can agree on,” Jongin jokes. Kyungsoo’s grin is wry, but it’s a smile nonetheless. “There’s still daylight left. Let’s go walk?”  
“Sure,” Kyungsoo agrees. “We may see the patrols and the hunting party coming in.”  
“Right,” Jongin says. He doesn’t really have any desire to see the patrols or the hunting party. He has faith that they’ll be able to take care of themselves as they finish their duties for the day. He starts walking through the glade in that direction anyway, but Kyungsoo grabs his wrist again, stopping him.  
“On second thought,” he says, “I see that part of the territory every day.” He jerks his head in the opposite direction, eyebrow raised in question.  
Surprise and happiness seer through Jongin and he catches himself fully smiling. “Okay,” he agrees. “Yeah, we can do that.”  
The forest shade is a relief from the heat of the medicine hut and the relentless sunlight in the glade, and Jongin sighs as his toes sink into the wet earth.  
“This way leads toward the river,” Jongin says casually. “Most of the pack is there.”  
“I know,” Kyungsoo says. “I’m not totally out of touch with the pack.”  
Jongin hums, biting back a sharp remark. For once, it’s nice to not be at each other’s throats. “You found me at the river once, that’s right,” he says.  
“Yep,” Kyungsoo says. “I remember.” Jongin also remembers the fight that followed, and he has no doubt that Kyungsoo does as well. They both fall silent then, walking aimlessly through the territory along the unofficial trails left by hundreds of pack members walking them over and over through many sun cycles.  
“Pa taught me to shift right up here,” Jongin says quietly, gesturing vaguely up ahead.  
Kyungsoo is quiet when he answers. “My mom taught me there too,” he says. “My brother kept making fun of me for getting stuck mid-shift.”  
“You have a brother?” Jongin asks. “You never- well. I never asked.”  
“You didn’t,” Kyungsoo agrees. He picks up his pace a little bit, and Jongin frowns but lets the subject drop. He sighs, curious but unwilling to start another argument between Kyungsoo and himself. Jongin hums a bit of his grandmother’s favorite tune, walking a few paces behind Kyungsoo. After another few quiet minutes of walking, the sound of pups yipping and growling reaches Jongin’s ears, and he darts forward, striding past Kyungsoo.  
“Do you hear that?” Jongin asks.  
“Your humming?”  
“No,” Jongin sighs. He makes a general waving gesture. “The pups.” The yipping is getting louder as they walk, and Kyungsoo’s face darkens with uncertainty.  
“I hear them,” he confirms, speaking slowly.  
“This way,” Jongin cheers, loping forward until he breaks through the trees. He’s familiar with this area. He could never forget the very spot where he learned to control his shifting, where his mother first told him his fur color is the prettiest.  
“Red,” she used to say. “A warning for all those who see you.” Jongin smiles fondly at the memory, and his smile grows when he sees the three pups playing together. Their paws are far too large for their bodies, and their fur is fluffy and thick around their necks. They can’t be more than six sun cycles of age.  
“Do you know them?” Kyungsoo asks, stopping half a step behind Jongin.  
Jongin shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re just… playing. It’s sweet.” He turns to look at Kyungsoo; the alpha is shrinking back, shaking his head ever so slightly. “What are you doing?”  
“I just- don’t want to- it’s not- umm…” Kyungsoo never manages to actually form an explanation, and Jongin just stares at him for a second.  
“Do you not like pups?” Jongin asks after a moment. One of the pups yowls, his fellow pup tackling him. The other yips before jumping in to join the pile.  
“No,” Kyungsoo answers. Jongin frowns. “I mean I like them just fine. I just don’t know what to- how to-”  
“Play with them?” Jongin suggests, waving a hand towards the pups. Kyungsoo blinks hugely. “Jeez. It’s like you’re scared of them.”  
“I’m not scared!” Kyungsoo protests, and Jongin can’t help himself. He scoffs and rolls his eyes.  
“Sure, you’re not,” Jongin drawls, and he can’t stop the teasing grin breaking out across his face. “What a big, bad alpha.”  
“Quiet,” Kyungsoo hisses. His voice is low, warning, and Jongin glances back at the pups, nervous they might have noticed their Leader’s metaphorical hackles raising. Naturally, they’re all still happily playing. Jongin wants to play too.  
“Prove it. That you’re not scared,” Jongin urges, stripping out of his shorts. “Come play.” He turns then, shifting mid-bound into wolf form. He crawls on his belly up to the pups, whining on a high pitch at them. They all startle, scrambling back. Jongin wags his tail, barking. The pups all bounce down to face him, butts and tails wriggling in the air.  
Jongin barks one more time, and the pups howl, leaping forward to tackle him. Jongin mock yowls and falls back, letting the pups crawl all over him, biting harmlessly at the fur on his shoulders and neck. He bats them away with his paws, sometimes grabbing one by the scruff and pretending to shake his head. The pups squeal, attacking him again.  
A new bark, lower than Jongin’s but not low enough to be serious, joins the sounds of their playfight. Jongin twists, looking up. In front of him, Kyungsoo’s giant, black wolf is in a hunting crouch, his tail wagging behind him. Jongin growls playfully at him, and the pups crawl all over Jongin to swarm Kyungsoo, tackling him instead.  
Jongin watches, tongue lolling out of his mouth, as Kyungsoo plays with the pups. He’s overly slow in his play, actions careful and snapping his teeth a good distance away from their necks. The pups don’t really notice, only pushing Kyungsoo to play harder, and Jongin lets out a few happy yips, cheering the pups on.  
He doesn’t expect it when Kyungsoo rolls out from underneath the pups and charges Jongin, knocking him backwards with the pups in tow. They all tussle, Kyungsoo doing his best to bury Jongin into the forest floor while the pups nip at his ankles and ears.  
“Kids!” rings through the trees, and Jongin freezes. A couple of wolves steps into the clearing, prey held in their hands. Their eyes widen when they see Leader in wolf form playing with their pups, and both of them duck their heads immediately.  
“Leader,” the male omega breathes. His alpha, the female wolf, nods to Jongin, picking up his and Kyungsoo’s shorts from the ground. She approaches them slowly. “Come here, pups,” her mate calls, and the three pups all dart over to their father, yips turning into chatter as they shift back into human form.  
The alpha holds out the clothing to them. Jongin gets to all four paws and breathes, shifting back, fur melting into skin. “Hello,” he greets her.  
“Thank you for keeping my pups busy,” she says, ducking her head. Jongin takes his shorts from her, pulling them on. He tosses Kyungsoo’s to him as soon as the alpha wolf is back in human form too.  
“It was fun,” Jongin assures her.  
She smiles, taking a step back towards her family. “Still,” she says. “They’re all so excited right now. Thank you.” Jongin ducks his head to her in goodbye, and he doesn’t feel like putting distance between himself and Kyungsoo when Leader steps in close to him. They watch the couple wave and lead their pups away before they too continue on their aimless walk around their territory.  
“Do you want pups?” Kyungsoo asks suddenly, quiet and halting. Jongin startles, jerking up from watching the underbrush to stare at him. That wasn’t an expected question. “You don’t have to answer,” Kyungsoo follows up his inquiry.  
Jongin waves him off. He’s trying to learn Kyungsoo, trying to understand at his own grandmother’s urging. In order to gain Kyungsoo’s trust and truths, Jongin needs to be willing to show his own. “I did,” he answers honestly. “I told my ma once that I wanted seven.” He laughs a little.  
“That’s a… lot of pups,” Kyungsoo says, clearing his throat. Jongin shrugs.  
“I was a pup then,” he explains. “And now...I only wanted pups with a wolf I loved. I just don’t know if…” He trails out, not wanting to directly tell Kyungsoo that the idea of siring pups with him is absolutely repulsive to him. “I’m just not sure,” he finishes.  
“Because I’m your alpha?” Kyungsoo asks for clarification.  
“Because I- yes,” Jongin returns, giving up his protest in favor of the truth. It’s best Kyungsoo understands his position on the matter when it’s something that would take both of their commitment. Kyungsoo nods, kicking absently at the forest floor.  
“I always wanted pups,” Kyungsoo tells him. He faces through the trees towards the mountain training grounds. “I wanted to teach them to hunt and to patrol. I wanted a family.” He sighs. “Up in the mountains, that was one of the few things we had: imagination.” He looks back in the direction of the pups playing with their parents. “I wanted a family so badly.”  
“That’s some imagination,” Jongin says, trying to keep how shaken he feels at Kyungsoo’s admittance to his desire for pups out of his voice. He evidently fails because Kyungsoo stops walking, grabbing Jongin by the shoulders.  
“I promised I wouldn’t touch you,” he says, voice firm. Jongin frowns, eyeing Kyungsoo’s hands on his shoulders. The alpha wolf lets go, taking a step back. “I won’t touch you,” he repeats. “I promised I wouldn’t, so I won’t.”  
Jongin crosses his arms, covering his bare chest. “There are alphas who just take what they want,” he says. “With the head priestess watching our every move, I wouldn’t be able to stop you. The pack would-”  
“Stop, Jongin,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “That’s not permission. That’s not even right.” Kyungsoo sighs, voice softening. “Like a told you when we first met, I don’t- we’re not really mates. You don’t want me. Besides, any pups we had now would be raised by a mateship formed from necessity, not founded in love.”  
“I know that,” Jongin murmurs. “I just meant-”  
“I’m not trying to hurt you,” Kyungsoo states. He turns to keep walking. “I’m not a villain.” Jongin halts, staring at his hands. In those stories his grandmother used to tell him, the villain was always easy to spot, always someone with malintention and a slimy disposition. Kyungsoo, Jongin has to admit, is no villain.  
But he’s not a hero, either.  
“I know that,” Jongin repeats. “I know.”  
“If you ever doubt it,” Kyungsoo begins, “you can ask me. We’re supposed to be a pair.” Jongin forces himself not to snort incredulously and just nods.  
“Yeah,” he says. “Okay. Let’s just keep walking?”  
“Sure,” Kyungsoo agrees. The silence this time is not quite as comfortable, but Jongin has this suspicion that that’s more his fault than anything. He’s the one keeping his distance even while asking Kyungsoo to open up.  
There are things he’s just not ready to give up, to share; for some of them, he’s not sure he’ll ever be ready.  
“Who is that with Hoseok?” Kyungsoo asks, breaking Jongin from his inner musings. He knows even before he sees, jealousy already curling in his stomach.  
“My cousin,” he answers when he sees Taehyung’s wide grin, his eyes scrunched up with his laugh.  
“The sparkly one?” Kyungsoo inquires. Jongin nods.  
“Yeah,” he says. “Taehyung. He was in the tournament with me.” They take another few steps closer to the pair of wolves talking animatedly together. They seem completely out-of-touch with the world around them, their eyes focused only on each other, laughter loud and conversation hushed and private. Jongin looks away, drawing in a breath through his nose to calm himself. That is what he wanted. That is what he’ll never have.  
“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo’s touch is gentle on the back of Jongin’s elbow. He shrugs him away instead of answering, and Kyungsoo simply hums. He probably understands, probably feels a similar jealousy. Jongin struts forward, not bothering to avoid a twig on the ground. He steps on it, and the small sound of it snapping seems to echo in the quiet of the forest. Jongin watches Taehyung and Hoseok flinch at the same time, eyes flicking around to look for the source of the sound.  
“Second?” Taehyung greets, standing up. He doesn’t wait for Jongin to acknowledge him, throwing himself forward and grabbing Jongin up in a hug. “I heard about Yerim and the wolfsbane today,” he chatters. “You’re amazing. And Leader!” He grins at Kyungsoo. “Leader working the fields and saving us from wolfsbane. It’s great!”  
Hoseok comes up behind Taehyung, tangling their fingers together.  
“Our pack has really been blessed by the moon goddess,” he says. Taehyung nods furtively in agreement.  
“She always makes the right choice,” he says. Jongin scowls at his cousin, and Kyungsoo coughs. He’s looking at Jongin, and somehow Jongin feels like he can see his discomfort and jealousy. He doesn’t want to see a happy alpha-omega pair right now, and he doesn’t want to be reminded of his place at Second because of some moon goddess.  
If he’s Second, it’s because of his own strength not some questionable goddess.  
“Hoseok,” Kyungsoo requests suddenly, changing the subject, “will you lead the hunting party tomorrow? You can ask Yoongi if he wouldn’t mind doing the patrols.”  
“Yeah, of course,” Hoseok agrees. “Might ask Seokjin though. Yoongi’s been hanging out in the fields a lot recently.” Kyungsoo shrugs in consent. “What will you be doing?”  
Kyungsoo looks over at Jongin. “I still have a field to finish weeding,” he says. The knot in the pit of Jongin’s stomach loosens. “I’m not going to stop halfway through a job.”  
“Sure thing, Leader,” Hoseok says. “Good luck. The fields are...” He shakes his head. Taehyung grabs his arm, immediately snatching all of the alpha wolf’s attention.  
“Race you to the glade?” Taehyung challenges. Hoseok bares his teeth. “On my mark!” Taehyung cheers, and then he waves to Jongin. “Bye, Second!” He takes off running then, and Hoseok howls at him in mock rage, racing off after him.  
“He is bright,” Kyungsoo says, staring at the pair as they disappear into the trees. “But somehow you two are similar.”  
“We are family,” Jongin states.  
“Yes,” Kyungsoo acknowledges. “But it’s more than that.” Jongin shrugs.  
“That was good of you,” he says. “Asking Hoseok to lead instead of ordering him to.”  
“Well,” Kyungsoo says, slowly, thinking through his words. “They’re my pack. They’ll follow me if they respect me, right?”  
“Right,” Jongin agrees. He jerks his thumb towards the mountains. “I’m hungry,” he says. “Want to hunt?”  
“Out here?” Kyungsoo asks. “This isn’t the most plentiful area of the territory.”  
“It’s a challenge,” Jongin insists. Kyungsoo grins, fangs and all.  
“I accept.” Kyungsoo strips off his shorts, and Jongin tugs at the ties of his own. They fold their clothing and stash it underneath a bush before shifting. Jongin falls into step behind Kyungsoo, and after last night’s hunt together, this time is almost easy and familiar.  
They stalk quietly through the territory until they’ve gathered a couple rabbits to share. The sun is sinking, the sky streaked through with orange when they return to the cabin. They set to work skinning the rabbits outside, and Jongin takes them in to skewer them while Kyungsoo goes to gather kindling.  
Once the fire is lit and both of them are dressed in clean pants and shirts, Kyungsoo clears his throat.  
“Thank you for today,” Kyungsoo says, soft, humble. “For teaching me.” Jongin’s jaw drops and he pauses in carefully setting the rabbits over the fire. “I mean it,” Kyungsoo adds. “The pack- I needed to do that. I’m glad I was there. For Yerim. For you. I really learned a lot today. So. Thank you.”  
Jongin shakes his head. “We both needed to go out and be with them today,” he says. “Just me doesn’t mean nearly as much as both of us. Thank you for agreeing to come. You didn’t have to.”  
“I did,” Kyungsoo asserts. “And you know it. You knew it. You told me. Thank you.”  
“Well, I-”  
“Just say ‘you’re welcome,’ Jongin,” Kyungsoo snaps.  
“You’re welcome, Jongin,” Jongin says before he can stop himself. Kyungsoo stares, and Jongin meets his gaze for a second before he dissolves, laughing to himself at his awful joke.  
“We’re really quite opposite,” Kyungsoo muses. “You act serious, but you really just want to have fun.”  
“You don’t act fun when you want to be serious,” Jongin returns. “You’re just serious.”  
“I’m Leader,” Kyungsoo asserts. “I have to be.”  
Jongin just hums in response, stoking the fire. There’s silence for a while, Jongin carefully cooking the two hares. It’s almost comfortable again; moments like this are becoming more common. Jongin doesn’t mind.  
“Earlier,” Jongin begins after they’ve eaten and cleaned up the mess, licking grease from their fingers, “back in the fields. You mentioned you should meet my family. I-” He coughs. “Should I meet yours?”  
Kyungsoo’s flinch is not a reaction that Jongin expects, and he starts to apologize, backtracking. “I don’t need to, I mean. Only if you- I mean, I know we’re not real mates, so it-”  
“Jongin. My family is dead.”  
Jongin quiets. Stares. Opens and closes his mouth. “What?”  
“They’re dead,” Kyungsoo repeats. “My parents and my brother. All gone. The avalanche fifteen suns ago.”  
Jongin remembers that. He remembers the days of mourning. He remembers not understanding what was happening, and he remembers the small alpha pup standing in front of the funeral pyre, flames reflecting off of his tears.  
“That was you,” Jongin breathes. “I’m so-”  
“It was a long time ago,” Kyungsoo cuts in. “I don’t need pity.”  
Jongin bristles. “I’m not pitying you. I’m sad that you didn’t get to grow up with your family. I’m sympathizing with you.”  
Kyungsoo scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I wouldn’t have gotten to grow up with them anyway,” he says. “Not with the tournament.” He drops down into his furs, staring at his hands. The firelight looks the same on his skin as it had fifteen sun cycles ago, and Jongin’s heart hammers in his throat. He settles himself into his own furs, not quite comfortable. The silence between them is stifling, but what does one say to his unwanted mate for deaths occurring over a decade ago?  
Kyungsoo inhales, his voice coming out quiet and broken when he speaks.“Five sun cycles spent with my grandparents and brother, my parents off scouting. The one time my brother goes with them, there’s an avalanche. Five years with my grandparents alone. Then ten sun cycles in the mountains wondering if another avalanche will come and swallow me too. I came back as Leader and your mate, and I came back to the news that my grandparents had died two suns ago.” Kyungsoo’s shoulders shake, and Jongin moves without thinking, kneeling beside Kyungsoo’s pile of furs and pulling him into a hug. Kyungsoo stiffens, and Jongin keeps his grip loose, allowing Kyungsoo to pull away if he wants.  
Instead, the alpha wolf sinks into it, and Jongin says nothing when Kyungsoo buries his face in Jongin’s shoulder, holding his breath like it will keep the tears away.  
Kyungsoo mumbles something against Jongin’s skin that Jongin doesn’t quite catch, but he presses a hand flat against Kyungsoo’s back between his shoulder blades. “It’s okay to cry,” Jongin tells him. “It’s okay to miss them.”  
When Kyungsoo draws back and retreats into his furs, hiding his face, Jongin decides to shift into wolf form and roam around the territory for a bit. He’ll give Kyungsoo space. They’ve both had a long, exhausting day; they need it. At least tomorrow they’ll wake with the mutual understanding of how to work together, of how to be there for their pack.  
Very slowly, they’re learning.  
~*~  
The summer stretches on, the days growing hotter and the crops thriving. By mid summer, the corn is up to Jongin’s thigh and Kyungsoo spends just as much time working out in the fields as he does out patrolling and hunting. Jongin alternates with him, taking the opposite duty. They’re not perfect by any means, but they no longer spend each night and morning at each other’s throats, arguing over every little detail. By the time the autumn months roll in, the two of them have nearly perfected playing the perfect leadership pair in front of the pack.  
Shorter days make for less time to mess up their act.  
Jongin finds Kyungsoo sitting up on the outcropping of rock at the head of the glade as the sun sinks over the horizon. Tomorrow is the full moon. Being inside the cabin makes Jongin feel antsy, like he’s trapped. Kyungsoo turns and catches him standing there below the rocks, watching Leader.  
“You can come up here, you know,” Kyungsoo says, voice low and a little rough. He’s drumming his fingers on his knee, and Jongin has never seen him unable to hold still before. Jongin climbs up the rocks, plopping down beside Kyungsoo.  
“It’s almost dark,” he says. Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow. “Tomorrow’s the full moon.”  
“Yeah,” Kyungsoo murmurs. He flexes his fingers. “I can feel it.”  
“Me too,” Jongin agrees. “I guess I never really thought about it before, but I’ve always felt the moon more than the others. My family for sure, but also Taehyung and Seulgi and the other omegas I trained with.”  
“Sehun, right?” Kyungsoo asks.  
“Yeah. Sehun.” Jongin falls silent, watching the sun sink further behind the trees.  
“I know what you mean,” Kyungsoo says after a moment. “About the moonsong.” He kicks his feet over the edge of the rock face. Jongin curls his own up underneath himself, sitting cross-legged. “We had tests during training to see who could hold off the change longest.” Kyungsoo lets out a dry laugh. “I lost every time.”  
“I would have lost if we’d done that,” Jongin says. “I think. I don’t know. I’ve never even tried.”  
“Omegas are made to be able to hold off the shift.” Kyungsoo pats Jongin’s shoulder. “I’m sure you could do it.”  
“I just don’t want to,” Jongin tells him. “I have no reason to. I want to run.”  
“You’re Second,” Kyungsoo says. “You have to run.”  
“And you, as Leader, have to run with me,” Jongin adds. He sighs then. Tomorrow’s moon won’t be the disaster of a run that their first was, but it’s not going to be perfect or smooth either. In human form, they can play happily mated and they can play organized, but in the instinct driven state of a moonsong-induced shift, there’s no place for fake acts of compatibility. They’ve been through five runs, and they’ve yet to finish one entirely successful full moon. Kyungsoo sighs too.  
“We’ve got to do better,” he says. “The pack is going to start noticing. If they think we’re not the pair fit to lead this pack, they’ll stop following us. And with Seungwan and Jongdae being as close as they are-”  
“We’ll get better,” Jongin promises both Kyungsoo and himself. “We have to. For the pack.”  
Kyungsoo exhales, shaking his head. “It’s always ‘for the pack’ with you.”  
“Well, I am Second,” Jongin says. “The pack is my first priority.” Kyungsoo looks at Jongin for a long moment, and Jongin leans back and away from his stare.  
“What?”  
“The moon goddess really knew what she was doing when she gave me you,” Kyungsoo finally says. Jongin stills and doesn’t respond, looking down at his hands in the rapidly fading light. “Jongin?”  
Jongin inhales, holding his breath in his chest for a moment, steeling himself to admit to Kyungsoo what he’d accidentally revealed to Chanyeol what feels like thousands of moons ago. “To be honest with you,” he starts, “I don’t really believe that.”  
“You should,” Kyungsoo says immediately. “You’re a great Second. You know this pack, and you care for them. You know these lands, and you’re not scared to make sure things get done-”  
“No, I meant the moon goddess,” Jongin clarifies, voice just above a whisper. Kyungsoo doesn’t move, and Jongin thinks he’s holding his breath. He adds, “I don’t think she’s real.”  
Kyungsoo is staring at him again, and Jongin can practically taste his confusion, his uncertainty.  
“She’s all we know,” he tries. “She’s everything to us.”  
“I know,” Jongin murmurs. “Don’t think I don’t.”  
Kyungsoo’s eyebrows knit together in the middle, his lips drawn down into a frown. “How couldn’t you believe it?” he demands. “We were raised to believe it, and now you and I are leading this pack because she chose us!”  
“Did she?” Jongin counters. “Did she really? Or did we simply complete a series of tests and win a few fights? Is it really fate, or is it really chance?”  
“But the head priestess and all the priests,” Kyungsoo argues. “Minyoung and Hana and all the ceremonies and traditions we have that are built around the moon goddess. How can you just… throw that away?”  
“I’m not,” Jongin defends. “I’m not letting go of this pack and what makes us us. I just simply doubt the existence of a goddess whose will we’re forced to follow.” Silence meets his words, and Jongin’s shoulders slump. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have-”  
“Does the pack know?” Kyungsoo cuts in. Jongin blinks.  
“No. Of course not. No,” he answers. “They don’t need to know. And knowing their Second doesn’t believe in the moon goddess would devestate them. We don’t need that.” He laughs dryly. “We do enough of that ourselves.”  
“Jongin…” Kyungsoo sighs.  
“Poor humor, I know,” Jongin tries. “I just… I needed you to know. You needed to know. So we can keep up this farce, I guess.” Kyungsoo touches Jongin’s knee.  
“Thank you for telling me,” he says.  
“Yeah,” Jongin returns. “I know it’s not good news or anything but…” He shrugs. There’s nothing else to say. Kyungsoo kicks his feet over the edge of the rockface again, the dirt caught in his toenails easy to see in the bright moonlight. Jongin looks up to the sky, watching the nearly full moon float among the clouds.  
“I’m going to sleep,” Jongin announces, pushing up to his feet. “With the run tomorrow, we should be well rested, yeah?” Kyungsoo doesn’t move. “Are you coming?” Kyungsoo keeps quiet, and Jongin sighs. They’ve been doing so well, moving in the right direction of being able to really work together. He hopes he hasn’t just ruined that with his admission of truth. Jongin makes to climb down.  
“The ceremony for a short winter is soon,” Kyungsoo says suddenly. Jongin pauses one step down from the main platform.  
“Yeah,” he says. “It is.”  
Kyungsoo twists to look at him. “Will you still do it? Even if you don’t believe in the moon?”  
“Yes,” Jongin says without hesistation. “I will. I’ll do anything for this pack, Kyungsoo. You know that.” Kyungsoo nods, turning back around and looking up to the sky. “This is my home,” Jongin adds. “This is the place I love. My lack of faith isn’t going to change that.”  
“I’m relieved to hear that,” Kyungsoo whispers. “Just don’t keep things like this from me, okay?”  
“Things like this?” Jongin’s inquiry is met with Kyungsoo’s most serious gaze.  
“Things that could ruin the pack.”  
Jongin matches Kyungsoo’s declaration with one of his own. “I’ll even tell you lies to keep you safe, Kyungsoo,” he says, and it’s one of the most honest things he’s ever said to his Leader. “You’re pack too, remember?”  
Kyungsoo swallows, and Jongin moves to climb back down the rocks and make his way to the cabin.  
“Goodnight, Second,” Kyungsoo calls after him. Jongin glances back at him.  
“Goodnight, Kyungsoo.”  
~*~


	2. Chapter 2

~*~  
"This is my least favorite ceremony of the year," Jongdae whines to Jongin as they and a group of other wolves roll stones from the river into the center of the clearing, organizing them in a wide circle. "'To keep winter short and the pack safe.' If winter wants to be brutal, it will be. Winter doesn't exactly give a fuck what the moon has to say about it." Jongin grunts in response to Jongdae's statement, hoping his friend understands he means it to be an agreement. Another group of wolves carry firewood and kindling into the center of the ring of stones, dropping them into the fire pit.  
"This is the only consistent one," Namjoon says with a grunt, dropping his stone on the ground in front of him. "At least you know when it's coming."  
"More warning means more time to dread it," Jongdae returns. He angles his head, looking at the stone Namjoon had brought. "Move that one a little bit that way," he says, jerking his thumb to the left. Namjoon gives him the most exasperated look. "Don't make that face," Jongdae tells him. "You look ugly."  
"You look ugly all the time," Seulgi sing-songs as she breezes past them to drop her armful of firewood into the center of the pit. "You should hope Namjoon makes that face all the time so that you're not the only hideous one."  
"Oh, the kitty has claws," Jongdae hisses at her, holding up his hands in a crude imitation of mountain lion paws.  
"Shut up, Jongdae," Seulgi sneers, flouncing back out of the barely started circle of stones, shoving Jongdae's shoulder as she passes.  
"Alright, mountain cat!" Jongdae calls after her, mock purring as she heads back off into the forest. He cackles when the only response to his teasing is Seulgi's shrill, frustrated scream. "She's too much fun these days. So much tension."  
"You're asking for death," Junmyeon warns, walking in with his own armful of firewood. Jongdae sticks his tongue out at the alpha, and Junmyeon watches him with a vaguely annoyed expression.  
"I've known Seulgi for awhile," Jongdae says. "If I want to tease her as her friend, I will."  
"I wasn't referring to Seulgi as your death," he says. "My sister, however, might be."  
"Juhyeon?" Jongdae asks, voice nearly cracking in incredulity. "She keeps fighting with Seulgi, you know? Why would she-" He cuts himself off and stares at Junmyeon. Junmyeon stares back, and Jongin glances between them, wondering if he's going to have to step in. Jongdae's face lights up suddenly, lips stretching into a huge grin. "Oh," he says, drawing out the syllable. Jongin relaxes. "Oh, I see."  
Junmyeon shrugs. "I didn't say anything."  
"Oh, of course you didn't," Jongdae agrees. "But I'm quite quick. I figured it out all on my own."  
"Cocky brat," Junmyeon says.  
"Careful what you say, Junmyeon," Seungwan's voice warns in jest from in front of the medicine hut where she's busy braiding juniper into a long strand to wrap around the bonfire they're building for the ceremony.  
Junmyeon gives her a pleasant smile. "Tell your pretty boy to watch his mouth," he says.  
"No point in that," Seungwan calls to him, getting up and walking over. "He's selectively deaf." Jongdae grabs her around the waist when she's close enough, pulling her in close to him. Jongin rolls his eyes at the quick kiss Jongdae presses to her ear, and Jongdae winks at him.  
"All these omegas thinking they're Second," Junmyeon says.  
"Oh no we don't," Namjoon interjects. "I don't think anyone could replace our Second."  
"Well," Jongdae teases, "no one wants his gray hairs anyway."  
Jongin snaps his teeth at Jongdae in response to that, and Jongdae just laughs, rocking from side to side with his laughter and knocking Seungwan off balance as he forces her to rock with him. The alpha growls in annoyance, and Jongdae just nips at the top of her ear.  
"You look lovely today," Jongdae murmurs against her ear.  
"You're revolting," Junmyeon says pleasantly. Jongdae and Seungwan bare their teeth in tandem.  
"Get back to work, and you won't have to watch," Seungwan hints. Junmyeon dips his head.  
"No need to tell me twice, First," he says. He bows to Jongin, "Second." He jogs off into the forest,  
"Watch your hands, Jongdae," Seungwan warns.  
"But First," Jongdae whines, making grabby hands at her. She slaps the backs of his hands, walking back to the medicine hut and sitting down next to a couple priests and a few other wolves gathered to help. Everyone but the pups is involved in preparations for the upcoming ceremony right now. According to the head priestess, the upcoming equinox is the best time to pray directly to the moon goddess.  
"She's perfect," Jongdae sighs even as he rubs at the reddened skin on the back of his hands.  
"Yeah, she's great," Namjoon deadpans. "Now, could you move so I can move this stone?"  
"Didn't I ask you to do that an eon ago?"  
"You do think you're Second, don't you?" Namjoon retorts, crouching down when Jongdae moves to force the rock over just a little bit.  
"Well, if I mate with First, would that make me Third?"  
"It makes you impossible like always," Jongin cuts in. "And doesn't excuse you stalling in getting ready for this thing." Jongdae groans, throwing his head back dramatically.  
"Didn't think you were so excited about the winter ceremony," Jongdae mutters, kicking at the stone Namjoon had just moved. Namjoon grits his teeth, flashing his fangs at Jongdae. Jongin can't answer his friend's question with a definite 'no' in case one of the priests overhears, so he chooses to kneel and put Namjoon out of Jongdae-induced misery, shoving the rest of the stones into line. They've got a good third of the circle in place now.  
"It's Seungwan who has to do all the work," Jongin says, brushing his hands off on his pants. "Leader and I only have to kneel and pray the whole time."  
"Just think," Jongdae starts with mock enthusiasm, "this is only the first time of forty that you'll have to do that!"  
"Don't remind me," Jongin breathes, forcing his grimace of distaste off his face. He stands, turning to the rest of their group milling around waiting for Jongin to announce their next trek to the river for another set of stones. Jongin is tired though, and if he's going back to the river, he wants to go to bathe and relax. "Alright," he says, "we have three days to get this done, and it's almost high noon. I say we're done for the day." A few tired cheers from his group sound in response.  
"Letting everyone go so soon, Second?" Seungwan calls over from her braiding. Jongdae turns and wiggles his fingers at her.  
"Keep working hard, love," he tells her. "You're doing great." Seungwan scowls at him.  
"Braiding Juniper isn't quite the back-breaking work of carrying small boulders," Jongin says to First. He grabs Jongdae and Namjoon's wrists. "I'm going to river. Join us when you're done if you want."  
Seungwan rolls her eyes at him. "Watch out when I get there, Second," she warns. "I'll dismiss this group soon, and then..." She drags a finger across her throat.  
"Your threats are absolutely thrilling," Jongin sneers. "Happy braiding!" Jongdae blows Seungwan a kiss, and Jongin trudges forward with his eyes stubbornly set ahead, dragging Jongdae and Namjoon behind him. A few members of their small team hurdle past them into the forest to hunt or towards the river to relax.  
"So nice of you to bring Namjoon along, Second," Jongdae says once they've cleared the glade. Namjoon raises an eyebrow, and Jongin almost hesitates to ask why. Namjoon does it for him.  
"Should he not have?" Namjoon asks.  
"He should have," Jongdae says. "I have to ask you about Jimin every chance I get." Jongin sighs, but he's not about to stop Jongdae. He's curious too.  
"Why don't you pick on Second instead?" Namjoon tries. His ears are already going pink.  
"He's mated already to our Leader," Jongdae explains with a shrug. He glances at Jongin. "I can't tease you so much anymore, high and mighty Second."  
"Pretty sure you're getting worse," Jongin grumbles. Jongdae cackles, looking pleased at that. Jongin smirks at him. "Should I be expecting to officiate a mating between you and First anytime soon?" Jongdae flushes, tucking his chin into his chest. Jongin catches Namjoon's eye, and the other omega looks far too gleeful at Jongdae's show of shyness.  
"If she asks," Jongdae murmurs with a small smile, "I'd run."  
"Away?" Jongin teases.  
"No, you insufferable ass," Jongdae snaps. "The chase! I'd do it!" He brightens suddenly, gaze sliding over to Namjoon with a sly grin. "What if Jimin asks you?"  
Namjoon does his best impersonation of a fish out of water, jaw gaping open. "What?" he screeches.  
"You know, Jimin? Omega? Tiny? Nice ass? Your crush?"  
"I know who you're talking about!" Namjoon squawks, shoving Jongdae. He stumbles into Jongin, clutching at his shirt to right himself. "I just don't understand why you think I would be the one running!"  
"So you would do the chase with Jimin," Jongdae muses. He taps drums his fingers on Jongin's shoulder. "Interesting."  
"That's not what I said!" Namjoon protests.  
"You said you'd chase him," Jongdae counters. "Which isn't going to fair well for you when he's twice as fast as you, but." He leans in close to Namjoon. "He'll probably pity you and let you catch him."  
"Are you planning to pity First?" Jongin breaks in, slinging an arm over Jongdae's shoulders, placing himself between Namjoon and Jongdae. Jongdae whines, shoving at him.  
"Why would I?" He pouts, and Jongin rolls his eyes at him.  
"Love-addled minds," he scoffs. Namjoon snorts, and Jongdae scowls.  
"If I want First to catch me, then it's not pity," he asserts. Jongin swallows around the jealousy rising up in his throat. He would not have let Kyungsoo catch him if they'd been forced to do the Chase in front of the whole pack. He figures that's why the Second is supposed to present himself to the Leader; omegas are notoriously known for being faster than alphas. A well trained omega like himself or a naturally speedy omega like Jongdae would never be caught, and the leadership pair would never form, leaving the pack to ruin.  
With the right person, he supposes he'd have to let him or her catch him. Still, he's not giving up a chance to tease Jongdae.  
"I just think you don't want her to be too tired to claim you after she hunts you down," Jongin says.  
Jongdae's grin is lecherous. "Oh, please, Second. My stamina makes up for it."  
Namjoon groans. "Maybe I regret bringing up you and First," he sighs, eyes raised skyward. Jongdae cackles loudly in Jongin's ear.  
"What you should have brought up is our dear Seulgi and Juhyeon," Jongdae points out. "That's a far more interesting topic."  
"Not really," Namjoon counters. "They fight all the time. If they didn't both have the biggest soft spot for Yerim, they'd have torn each other's throats out by now."  
Jongdae leans around Jongin to show Namjoon all his teeth. "That's what Seulgi wants you to think, buddy."  
"Like you know her that well," Namjoon returns.  
"I know everyone," Jongdae says. "I make it my business to know everything that goes on around here." Jongin's stomach twists; there are things Jongdae definitely doesn't need to know.  
"You're worse than my grandmother," Namjoon says. "She knows if the neighbors fucked last night."  
"Does she know her grandson is pining after another omega and too rabbit shit to make a move?" Jongdae asks. Namjoon flushes, and Jongdae grins. "She doesn't? So actually I'm better than your grandmother."  
"It's not exactly a competition, Jongdae," Jongin sighs. "Do you know if your neighbors fucked last night?" Jongdae purses his lips. Jongin rolls his eyes.  
"It's a draw," Jongdae declares. He reaches out to poke Namjoon's chest. "But I still stand by the fact that if you believe Seulgi and Juhyeon aren't going to be mated by next spring, then you're an idiot."  
"But they're always fighting!" Namjoon argues. "Seulgi actually hates Juhyeon's guts."  
Jongdae tsks, wagging a finger. "No, no, no," he chides. "What she hates is how attracted she is to her."  
"You're making shit up," Namjoon says. Jongin feels inclined to agree. He and Kyungsoo fight all the time, and it's not some game of coy like Jongdae seems inclined to believe about their peers.  
"Just wait until Seulgi's heat hits," Jongdae says. "And we'll see who it is who crawls after her. Besides, Junmyeon just told me Juhyeon likes her."  
Jongin regains his spot between the two of them. "This is getting you both approximately nowhere."  
Jongdae ignores him, pressing on with his theory. "Besides, it makes sense doesn't it? Seulgi is the one who challenged Juhyeon back when you introduced the alphas and betas to the fields. Juhyeon was probably smitten since that moment." He winks at them. "You know alphas. They act all tough, but really they just want someone who challenges them." Namjoon shrugs. Jongin swallows back a comment about him being more interested in omegas; he's supposed to be the peace-keeping party here.  
"Okay," Namjoon starts, "even if that's the case, it doesn't explain Seulgi liking Juhyeon."  
"Aw, come on!" Jongdae's hands flail around with his exasperation. "Even you have to be able to see how gorgeous Juhyeon is. There's no way even our dear winter queen can avoid her going thump thump with someone like Juhyeon showing her interest."  
"Fighting with her doesn't seem to be an effective way to show interest," Namjoon deadpans.  
"I don't pretend to understand the alpha mind," Jongdae counters. "I'm just stating my observations."  
Jongin speeds up his walking, passing the two of them as they continue to bicker. He breaks through the last of the trees into the sunlight. He spots Yerim waving at him, Jeongguk and Sooyoung beside her.  
"If you two grandmothers want to stop hissing at each other," he calls back to Namjoon and Jongdae, "we're here."  
"I'm just saying," Jongdae finishes, holding up his hands in surrender. "And you both know how rarely I'm wrong."  
"Second!" Yerim screams. "Come on!" Jongin shakes his head to clear all thoughts of Juhyeon and Seulgi dancing around each other, stripping off his shirt to jump into the water with his favorite trio of pups. It's not until Jeongguk manages to successfully dunk Jongin under the water that Jongin is able to let loose and exact his revenge on the three pups, forgetting about Jongdae's predictions that maybe felt a little too close to his chest.  
~*~  
The first chill autumn wind of the season creeps under the furs draped over Jongin's shoulders and brushes against his bare stomach. He's back in the ceremonial white rabbit furs, standing with Kyungsoo at the far end of the glade, hidden just behind the first line of trees. Kyungsoo, too, is dressed in a ceremonial collage of rabbit pelts, the pants he wears dyed black like Jongin's.  
"I hope it doesn't get any colder," Kyungsoo whispers to Jongin as they watch the pack gather in front of the bonfire pit. "My knees will freeze to the ground." Jongin shivers through a short laugh. If he weren't shirtless underneath the pelt, he probably wouldn't be cold at all, or if he were allowed to hold the cloak closed around himself, the chill air wouldn't be able to brush against his skin. However, his hands are laden with a platter of corn and wheat, barley and rye, all only just ready for the fall harvest, and the white cloak threatens to fall from his shoulders.  
"I'm going to fall asleep in the middle of this," Jongin warns, yawning. "Rolling stones from the river and then hunting for sacrifices..." He sighs. "I'm exhausted."  
"Don't sleep," Kyungsoo warns. "Even if you don't believe in the moon goddess, I do. The pack does." Jongin shivers, looking at Seungwan where she stands on the outcropping of rock at the head of the glade. Conviction is clear on her face in the glow of the torch held in her hand. Jongin ducks his head to hide his grin when the wind picks up again, Seungwan shivering as her cloak, red fox fur, flutters in it.  
"It's too cold to fall asleep outside, anyway," Jongin says.  
"How long does this take?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin stares at him.  
"You don't know?"  
"No?" Kyungsoo admits. "The last one of these I went to was when I was nine sun cycles. I don't remember much more than bits and pieces."  
Jongin swallows. Right. "It varies," he says. "But definitely past midnight."  
Kyungsoo groans under his breath, and Jongin shares in his frustration. "The sun only just went down," Kyungsoo mutters.  
"Yep," Jongin concurs. "Get ready for sore knees tomorrow." The priests exit the medicine hut, drums slung around their necks and their shawls fluttering out behind them as they walk. In the middle of the procession, the head priestess strides with confidence, her chin held high. Her shawl is not wrapped around her hair today, long silver locks nearly reaching her waist. She spreads her arms wide, and the priests scatter to take their positions around the edges of the glade, lighting the torches Chanyeol's team of wolves had worked hard to set up during the three days of preparation for this ceremony.  
"I'm not sure I have enough material to pray about for hours," Kyungsoo whispers, leaning down and hauling his sacrifice over his shoulder. The buck is nearly the same size he is, and Jongin glances away from the way the slivers of moonlight that reach them seem to mold themselves to the definition of Kyungsoo's body. "This is heavy."  
"A great catch," Jongin compliments, and Kyungsoo jerks to look at him. He smiles, slow and surprised.  
"Thank you," he says earnestly. Jongin would shrug if he could, but he's fairly convinced that if he tries, the furs are going to fall from his shoulders.  
The drums speed up, low notes echoing off the sky, and the head priestess raises her arms. Seungwan leaps down from her post on the rocks, carrying the torch high over her head. She looks ethereal, red dress and furs glowing in the moonlight and torchlight. Jongin imagines Jongdae is probably drooling right now.  
The noise of the drums and the priests humming low in their throats halts, and Jongin adjusts his platter of sacrifices on his arms.  
"This is us," he whispers. "Welcome to a few hours of silence."  
Kyungsoo adjusts the buck over his shoulders, and he steps forward with Jongin. They break through the treeline, striding together into the glade. The pack parts for them, bowing as they pass. It's just like the full moon, but this time all of them gathered stand in human skin, sinking to their knees as Jongin and Kyungsoo advance towards the front of the glade. They stop on either side of Seungwan, standing in front of the fire pit. The glade is quiet, the breathing of the pack and the flickering of Seungwan's torch with the breeze the only sounds to stir the silence. The head priestess moves to stand in front of them, her silver hair reflecting the moonlight.  
"We come before the goddess of the moon to ask her protection over us through the winter," she announces, her smooth voice sliding down Jongin's spine. He forces himself to not shiver, to keep his face forward. "Who represents the pack?"  
Jongin wants to roll his eyes. It's not as if she doesn't already know.  
"Our Leader and our Second," Seungwan answers. Jongin bites his tongue, a slightly painful reminder to stay quiet. He and Kyungsoo aren't allowed to speak unless a dire emergency should arise during the ceremony proceedings.  
"Who speaks on the behalf of the pack?"  
Seungwan's back is straight, her chin forward. "I do, Priestess," she declares. "The First." The head priestess bows to her then, her hair falling forward around her face.  
"Proceed," the head priestess permits, her voice echoing around the glade. "The moon goddess waits to hear you." Seungwan clears her throat, stepping forward towards the fire pit. Her knuckles whiten, her grip tightening around the torch she holds.  
"I, the First of this pack, present myself as the voice of the pack," Seungwan recites. Her voice shakes, and Jongin bites his tongue harder. "The pack asks three things of the moon in return for faithful service to her commands. I pray for the goddess to hear and heed our requests."  
The drums beat thrice.  
Seungwan holds up the torch. "I ask the goddess of the moon to grant us warmth this winter." She leans forward, setting the torch against the kindling circling the pit. "This is our first request." There's a crack followed by a loud snap! as the fire catches. The bonfire roars to life, the flames rising higher and higher until they seem to touch the very face of the moon itself. The priests hum, the haunting harmony holding the pack in a moment of frozen time. Seungwan turns to face the pack, and the tension bleeds from her body. Jongin itches to turn around to face his pack, to see what First sees, but he holds himself still, keeping with tradition.  
"I ask the goddess of the moon to grant us success on the hunt throughout the winter months, to keep the pack's prey healthy so that the pack may be healthy as well." Seungwan's voice is stronger, clearer. The humming of the priests raises in pitch and volume. "This is our Second request." She gestures to Kyungsoo, and he adjusts the buck over his shoulders, stepping forward. "The Leader of the pack offers a sacrifice to the goddess so that she may hear it," Seungwan says, and Kyungsoo hefts the buck over his head, throwing it as best he can into the flames. The fire glows brighter, consuming the buck's body in a fury of flames.  
Kyungsoo steps back, pulling his cloak tighter around himself.  
"I ask the goddess of the moon to grant us a bountiful harvest, too keep her servants fed until the spring comes to bring new birth," Seungwan asks, gesturing to Jongin. "This is our third request." The heat of the fire is intense, and the smoke stings Jongin's eyes as he steps up close to it with his platter of offerings. "The Second of the pack offers a sacrifice to the goddess so that she may hear it." Jongin's arms ache from holding the tray for so long, but he grits his teeth and tosses the wooden platter along with all of its contents into the fire. He steps back, returning to stand a few paces from Kyungsoo's side.  
"These are the three requests of the pack," Seungwan finishes reciting. "We will now pray that the goddess hears them." She moves to stand between Leader and Second, and the head priestess steps out in front of the flames again.  
"Bow your heads, Leader and Second," the head priestess commands. There's a general rustle of pack members moving to kneel more comfortably that sounds behind Jongin, and he imagines them watching with rapt attention as Jongin and Kyungsoo press their hands flat to the ground and lean their heads down. Jongin bends until his forehead is pressed to the backs of his hands and the long grass tickles his nose. He sighs with relief from the cold as the fur cloak settles around him, keeping out the cold air. With the bonfire raging, he's probably going to be sweating by the end of this.  
Better hot than cold, he thinks. The sharp smell of burning barley and the acrid odor of the buck's fur burning sting his nose, but he doesn't move, keeping himself pressed to the ground as he pretends to pray. He can feel the heat of the flames, and Kyungsoo's presence an arm's length away from him keeps him grounded. For the pack, he reminds himself, steadying his breathing with the rhythm of the drums.  
"I ask the pack to join our leaders in prayer," Seungwan calls out, and the drums beat thrice more. The priests' humming turns to singing, the words muddled with strange syllables from ancient words that the pack no longer uses. Her cloak brushes over Jongin as she walks past, moving to greet each pack member and pray with them.  
The night wears on, and the voice of the pack raises, growing louder as Seungwan dismisses each member from bowing his or her head after hearing their prayers. Jongin's knees and back ache from bending over for so long, but the singing of the priests only seems to grow stronger. Jongin twists his fingers in the grass, trying to distract himself from the stiffness in his muscles and his own tiredness. It feels like an eternity, but finally Seungwan is brushing back between Kyungsoo and Jongin and standing in front of the bonfire.  
"The pack has spoken," Seungwan recites. "May the moon goddess hear." The singing cuts out, and the drums stop beating. Jongin's heart still thrums with the deep noise of it.  
Kyungsoo stands, and Jongin swallows his groan as his back pops when he too straightens. In unison with Seungwan, they bow one more time towards the bonfire. Jongin is about done with bowing for the next year after this night.  
"The ceremony is complete," the head priestess announces. The whispers of the pack turn into full blown cheers, excitement a far more pleasant hum than the priests' singing. "And now, we dance!" The drums beat heavy again, and Jongin can't help but grin as he turns around to see the pack breaking from their kneeling positions to grab one and another, pulling friends and mates off to dance to the rhythm of the drums and the crackling fires.  
"We have to do this every year," Seungwan whispers despairingly. Jongin nods.  
"Yeah," he says.  
"Fuck," Kyungsoo agrees. Jongin glances over at him. "I can't feel my knees," Kyungsoo says. "Kneeling for that long is cruel punishment." Seungwan slings an arm over his shoulders, leaning into him heavily.  
"Talking for that long is cruel punishment," she adds. "Jongdae was right about this one." Kyungsoo's eyebrows furrow.  
"What did Jongdae say?" he asks.  
"He hates the winter ceremony," Jongin answers. "He thinks it's a waste of time and resources." He groans. "And we have to put everything away over the next few days too." He lets out this pitiful little whine, and Seungwan nods sympathetically, reaching out to pat his shoulder.  
"Just think," she whispers, "this time next year, you could be pregnant and get out of this." Jongin's responding laugh sounds weak and far too high to be real, and Kyungsoo flinches. Seungwan winces, letting both of them go. "Wrong topic," she whistles. "Sorry."  
"Go find Jongdae," Kyungsoo suggests. "Go dance." His tone sounds more like a command than a suggestion.  
"Yeah," Seungwan says. "I will." She leans in to Jongin again. "Out of curiosity, how long do you think I should wait before I ask him to run?"  
Jongin jerks his chin in the direction of his friend, watching him making fun of Namjoon and Chanyeol like he isn't just as awful of a dancer as them. "Ask him," he tells his First. "I think he'll know better than me." Seungwan snorts, jostling him with her shoulder as she walks off towards Jongdae. Jongin swallows; it looks like he might be orchestrating his first Chase soon.  
He's happy for Jongdae, but jealousy is still stale in his mouth.  
“Well,” Kyungsoo breathes, and the tiredness is clear in his low tone, “that’s one winter ceremony over and done with. Only thirty-nine left.”  
Jongin rolls his eyes. “Yeah,” he says. “Only thirty-nine, I guess.”  
Kyungsoo sighs, and his shoulders are slumped underneath the white fur. He looks so small like that, and for a moment, Jongin almost forgets to see him as the alpha and Leader that he is.  
“I suppose so,” Kyungsoo murmurs absently. His eyes slide from the pack to Jongin, and his gaze is curious as he asks, “Did you pray?”  
Jongin swallows. “No,” he answers truthfully. Kyungsoo gives an immediate nod of his head, not shocked at all.  
“You didn’t have anything to pray about?” he inquires.  
“It’s not that I don’t have anything to pray about,” Jongin scoffs. He quiets. “I just don’t have anyone to pray to.” His correction hangs bitter in the air between them, a slight taste of unease amidst the dancing and revelry of their pack around them.  
“Jongin…” Kyungsoo starts, but Jongin does not want to hear whatever admonishment Kyungsoo has for him right now.  
“I’m going to go dance,” Jongin declares.  
Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You look like you’re in the opposite mood to go dancing,” he says.  
“You’re right,” Jongin agrees, stepping away. “But I’m even less in the mood to have this conversation than I am to go dancing. So.”  
Kyungsoo’s face is carefully blank, and if Jongin didn’t spend so much time with him as his Second, he probably wouldn’t notice the slight downturn as the corners of Kyungsoo’s mouth. “Okay,” Kyungsoo allows. “Go ahead.”  
“Right,” Jongin says, and how he wishes he’d just said he was heading back to the cabin early. He’s tired; he’s frustrated. He doesn’t want to dance. “I’ll see you later. At the cabin.”  
“Yes,” Kyungsoo whispers. “See you then, Second.” The title is a gorge forged between them, and the distance feels far more than physical as Jongin steps back, walking away from Kyungsoo and meandering into the throng of dancing pack members.  
He pays little attention to his surroundings, letting the drums carry him away, and he falls into step alongside anyone who asks him to dance. He sees Taehyung and Hoseok whirl by, fingers tangled together, and he sees Jongdae’s hands pressed to Seungwan’s back, holding her close to him. He tips his head back and dances more vigorously, hoping to exhaust the jealousy away. His skin feels bereft of a warm touch even with the pack pressed in around him as he dances.  
There's an angry shout over the drumbeats and the cheering, and Jongin snaps around to look up towards where he left Kyungsoo. The alpha is no longer standing there. Jongin's eyebrows furrow, worry coursing through him. There should be no anger on a night like tonight; at least, there shouldn’t be any outwardly shown.  
Out of the corner of his eye, Jongin sees Junmyeon sprinting through the crowd, sees more than he hears Junmyeon shouting for his sister. He doesn’t see Juhyeon anywhere, but Junmyeon’s urgency is palpable.  
"Second," Jeongguk's voice calls out, and Jongin surges forward at once towards the young beta’s voice, not bothering to apologize to the group with whom he’d been dancing. Pack members move out of his way immediately, their eyes not quite focused, too lost in the celebration to take note of the frantic shout of a pup. Jongin grits his teeth; a pup is the future of the pack. Everyone should be worried and making sure he’s okay.  
"Over here!" Jeongguk's hand waves just past a small group of people, and Jongin takes a few long strides forward, breaking through them. There are a few things he’d expected to see once Jeongguk’s voice had reached him, the worry and panic clear in the sound, but Jeongguk and Yerim standing on either side of Seulgi, the omega woman sweating and shaking, is not one of the situations Jongin had envisioned.  
“Seulgi,” he barely breathes, and the woman’s head snaps up, feverish eyes focusing on him. She shakes free of Yerim and Jeongguk, stumbling towards Jongin. Jongin meets her mid-stride, stumbling as she crashes into him.  
“Second,” Seulgi whispers, breath strained. “Help.” Jongin folds her into his arms immediately, tugging on his ceremonial cloak under it covers his fellow as well.  
“I’ve got you,” he promises, tugging the cloak tighter around the two of them.  
“Second,” Yerim murmurs, coming up on his other side. Her eyes shine with her worry, and Jongin forces his best reassuring smile onto his face.  
“I’ll take care of her,” he tells the omega pup. “Stay here, alright?” Yerim frowns, but she nods in agreement anyway. She can’t refuse a direct order from her Second, and Jongin doesn’t have time to be accommodating of her no matter how much he adores the pup. Heat is not something the pack trifles with, and an early onset of heat is that much more painful for an omega wolf. Seulgi shakes, her nails digging into Jongin’s arm.  
“I need to go,” she nearly begs. “Second.”  
“We’re going,” Jongin soothes, taking a step forward and pulling most of Seulgi’s weight onto himself to support her. “Right now.” Seulgi sags more fully into him, and Jongin keeps walking, hoping his cloak and his presence will hide most of the obvious scent of Seulgi’s heat from the other wolves.  
A low whine follows them, and Jongin holds Seulgi tighter when she shivers in response to it.  
“Juhyeon!” Junmyeon’s voice snaps, and Jongin looks back to see Jeongguk hovering beside Yerim as she tugs on Juhyeon’s hand, trying to calm her. Junmyeon’s hands are firm on his sister’s shoulders, holding her in place, but the alpha female hardly seems to notice him, her eyes fixed right beside Jongin where he holds Seulgi against him. The whine from before repeats itself from Juhyeon’s throat, and Jongin thinks back to Jongdae’s words about Juhyeon and Seulgi.  
Of course, he thinks. Of course.  
"Stay close to me," Jongin murmurs to Seulgi even if her nails have already dug deep welts into his arm as she clings to him. She's not a weak wolf; she could have made an amazing Second. But heat is a violent monster all on its own, dragging even the strongest omegas into a feverish haze. If there were a goddess, Jongin would thank her for keeping heats limited to once a year events.  
"Where are we going?" Seulgi rasps, mouth pressed to Jongin's shoulder. She breathes in deeply, and Jongin is glad to be here to help her keep her sanity before she becomes delusional in the onset of her body going into hyperdrive.  
"The medicine hut," Jongin answers. Seulgi's nose wrinkles, and she takes in another lungful of Jongin's scent.  
"Juniper," she groans, and her distaste amuses Jongin. He settles a hand on top of her head, fingers stroking through her hair as he leads her away from the celebration and towards the priests waiting outside the medicine hut.  
"I fucking hate juniper," Jongin agrees. "But if there's one thing that smell is good for, it's keeping the air too clouded to discern the smell of heat." Seulgi nods weakly, and Jongin hauls her gently with him. The expressions on the priests' faces are full of worry, and even as their feet shift in agitation, they do not move to help their Second. As much as their help would be appreciated, Jongin is grateful for their lack of action. It helps him attract as little attention as possible as he brings Seulgi into the hut, leading her immediately towards the small rooms in the back of the sprawling hut that he's visited only once before with his cousin when Taehyung's first heat him months after the rest of the omegas had already been through their winter heats.  
"Where are we?" Seulgi asks, blinking rapidly. Her eyes shake, and she seems to be having trouble focusing even if her speech, though labored, is clear.  
"The private rooms in the medicine hut," Jongin answers, breathing shallowly to avoid taking in a huge whiff of the juniper hanging over the doorway. The heavy leather acting as a door doesn't allow any light inside, the small space illuminated by a single torch flickering merrily. Jongin leads Seulgi over to the bedding laid on the floor, the down feathers and fur inviting. She collapses with a groan, still shivering.  
There's a knock.  
"Who's there?" Jongin asks immediately, untying his cloak to toss it over Seulgi instead. The heat from the torch is pleasant against his bare back.  
"Second," a priestess' voice responds. "I saw you lead one of our omegas in here. I've brought water." Jongin looks at Seulgi, asking for permission. She nods, curling up underneath his cloak. Jongin reaches out and pulls the leather back, beckoning the priestess inside. She bows to him before scrambling immediately to Seulgi's side, setting the large basin of water in her arms on the ground.  
"Did this just come on?" she inquires, taking Seulgi's hand and pressing the handle of the ladle in the basin to it. "I'll go fetch your parents or-"  
"Yarrow," Seulgi requests, "and poppy."  
"You know I can't give you medicine for fever and sleep during a heat," the priestess says sharply. "Those won't stop the heat, and the possible damage isn't worth it." The priestess' warning doesn't seem to phase Seulgi who just shrugs.  
"You're a beta," the omega hisses. "You don't know how how much we loathe this." The priestess retreats, standing.  
"We will leave you then," she says. "No alphas or betas will be allowed to visit you except for the priests." She bows to Jongin again. "Come, Second. Let's leave her to rest."  
"No!" Seulgi protests immediately, jolting up from her reclining position. The priestess looks startled, eyeing Seulgi's outstretched hand warily. Seulgi's bottom lip trembles. "Second," she pleads, "stay with me. Please." The priestess glances between him and Seulgi, and Jongin waves a dismissive hand at her.  
"Go tell Leader where I am," he says. "I won't be at the cabin for a few days."  
"You shouldn't stay with an omega in heat..." the priestess begins, and Jongin narrows his eyes at her.  
"I am Second," he says, voice low and tone warning. "And caring for this pack is what the moon has called me to do. Go do as I've asked." The priestess sighs, nodding and bowing again before she steps out into the main area of the hut.  
"Can you do that?" Seulgi asks, shuffling over on the furs a little bit. Jongin sits beside her without her asking, letting her lean her head on his shoulder. Right beside her, he can smell her heat clearly over the juniper.  
"Do you remember when Taehyung's first heat hit him in spring instead of winter?" Jongin asks. Seulgi nods, forehead pressed to Jongin's collarbone. "Hana was Second then. She stayed with him in another one of these rooms. He's never said that she touched him, but just that her presence kept him calm." Jongin's smile is wry. "I don't know how much good I can do for you, though. I'm not Hana."  
"You are Second, though," Seulgi murmurs, snaking her arms around Jongin's middle, pulling herself in close against him. "And you're my friend. I need- no. I mean. You're the best person to have here right now."  
"I'll be here then," Jongin promises. He can still hear the drums thrumming out a steady beat and the happy cheering of the pack. Kyungsoo will be fine without him for a few days, he tells himself. He has to learn to trust Leader to lead. That's what he's there for.  
"Thank you," Seulgi mumbles, and Jongin settles down on the furs, allowing Seulgi to curl in against him, leaching his warmth and his unaffected presence. Jongin plays with the ends of her hair much like he does with Yerim, and he forces himself to stay awake even when Seulgi dozes off, clutching onto him. She would never do this if she weren't in heat, and that only deepens the frown on Jongin's face.  
He sighs, listening to Seulgi’s shallow breathing. The rhythm is even in her sleep, but the slight gasps that accompany it make Jongin’s heart hurt. He’s never been through an early or delayed heat, but he’s seen it enough times to know how much worse the experience is than regular winter heats. He reaches around Seulgi, carefully braiding her hair to distract himself from his own sleepiness. This isn’t a good time to be revelling in the closeness of someone else, but it’s been half a sun cycle since Jongin has been held so securely.  
The last time was when he gave himself over to Kyungsoo for the sake of the pack. He swallows down bile at the memory.  
Seulgi shifts, throwing one leg over Jongin’s, whining in discomfort even in her dreams. Pressed against his thigh like this, Jongin can feel Seulgi’s slick against his thigh, and his heart breaks at seeing one of the strongest omegas he’s ever known reduced to a whimpering mess.  
Jongin tries his hardest to keep his eyes open, but he dozes off, still stroking absently at Seulgi’s hair. He roused only moments before sleep takes him away with Seulgi clawing at his stomach to get his attention.  
“Call Juhyeon,” she demands. “Second. Juhyeon.” Juhyeon is an alpha. Juhyeon and Seulgi have never gotten along as far as Jongin knows. Juhyeon would never be permitted to see Seulgi like this; even if she could be, Jongin would not allow it.  
“Seulgi,” Jongin starts.  
“Second,” Seulgi cuts him off. “I need to talk to her. I have to kill her. I want to-” She bites her lower lip, body shaking. “Just call her.”  
Heat is aptly named, and it is absolute torture. The pack has strict rules regarding omegas in heat for the safety of its own pack members, and Jongin, as Second, should be the first to enforce those rules. Heat sex outside of mated pairs is simply not allowed, the hallucinations that come with heat and the fevered mental state making decision-making unsafe. Jongin's parents have told him before that they never slept together during Jongin's mother's heats. Only young betas and alphas like the concept of heat - unlimited sex - but after watching their lovers go through it, opinions change all too quickly.  
"I can't do that," Jongin says gently.  
"This is her fault," Seulgi tells him. Her gaze is imploring, her grip pleading. "Call her here."  
"I can't do that," Jongin repeats. "You know I can't."  
"You're Second!" Seulgi tries, pounding a weak fist against his chest. "If you order it, no one can say 'no' to you!"  
“If you can hit me and make it hurt, then I’ll call for her,” Jongin bargains, and Seulgi’s fist connects lightly with his neck. Jongin looks at her, watching the frustration on her face. “Remember when we sparred during the tournament?”  
Seulgi blinks her fevered eyes. “I’m not so far gone that I don’t remember that,” she sneers.  
Jongin tugs on her hair in response, and Seulgi tries to growl. It gets caught in her throat.  
“You hit hard,” Jongin tells her, “and right now, I don’t think you could hurt me at all.” Seulgi snarls, digging her nails into his side. It stings, his stomach muscles tightening. Seulgi collapses, backing away from Jongin a little bit. Her shivering returns, but she bares her teeth when Jongin reaches for her again. “You’ll freeze,” he warns.  
“I don’t care,” she says. “Cold is better than heat.”  
Jongin gives up easily. He knows himself to be completely unreasonable during his own heat; Seulgi is the same. This time when Seulgi dozes off, Jongin stands to leave the room. Heat, much like a fever, can be sweated out, but he needs more furs for that.  
“Don’t leave,” Seulgi mumbles into her arm thrown across her face. “Get Juhyeon.” Jongin shakes his head, stepping out of the room. The heavy leather curtain swings back into place with a rush of juniper, disguising the scent of Seulgi’s heat.  
“You’re going to trigger your own heat if you stay with her,” the priestess from earlier says by way of greeting when Jongin steps down the hallways into the main area of the medicine hut. He shrugs.  
“If my pack is taken care of, then I really don’t care.” He glances around the room. “I need more furs.” The priestess nods, scuttling away towards a few shelves of folded furs in various neutral colors.  
“Second,” one of the priests says, tapping Jongin’s shoulder before he bows. “Leader is outside. He wants to see you.” The priest is an omega, and Jongin points towards the priestess grabbing furs.  
“I’ll go see him,” Jongin says. “Will you take those to the omega, Seulgi, in the back room? Maybe make sure she drinks some water if she’s awake?” The priest bows.  
“Of course, Second,” the priest agrees. Jongin turns and walks out of the medicine hut, nearly crashing straight into Kyungsoo. He blinks hard at the sunlight. He hadn’t realized morning had already come.  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo greets, steading him with hands on his shoulders. Jongin shrugs him away.  
“Kyungsoo,” he returns. “I can’t talk long. I-”  
“Seulgi,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “I know. The priestess told me. But I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”  
“I’m fine,” Jongin tells him, throwing in a tired smile. Now that he’s in the sunlight again, his exhaustion is hard to ignore. Kyungsoo frowns. “Just a little tired.”  
“I just…” Kyungsoo coughs. “I know that one omega’s heat can trigger another’s. I don’t- if you-”  
“I won’t,” Jongin promises. “Besides. You said you won’t touch me unless I ask you to, and I’m not about to ask.”  
“It’s not...that,” Kyungsoo says. “It’s…” He clears his throat and squares his shoulders. His voice lowers so that only Jongin can hear, but he speaks clearly. “I’m not honestly sure I can handle the pack alone.” Jongin stares. Kyungsoo bites his bottom lip.  
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin starts quietly, “you’re our Leader. You have Seungwan to help you. And Chanhyuk. Seulgi’s heat won’t last more than a few days.”  
“I know,” Kyungsoo whispers. “I know, but… I rely on you. I really-”  
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin states. “Leader.” He doesn’t say anything else, just reaches out and grips Kyungsoo’s shoulder.  
“Second,” the priest from earlier interrupts. “The omega is asking for you. And someone named Juhyeon?” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen.  
“She’s an alpha,” Kyungsoo emphasizes at the same time as Jongin says, “Absolutely not.” The priest bows.  
“Yes, Leader, Second.” He retreats into the medicine hut, and Jongin turns back to Kyungsoo.  
“I should go,” he says. “I need to take care of Seulgi. Can you keep Juhyeon away from here?”  
Kyungsoo smiles, ducking his head in agreement. “You were meant to be Second,” Kyungsoo confesses. “I couldn’t be Leader without you.” Jongin’s heart thuds painfully in his chest.  
“You can do it,” Jongin encourages. He hopes Kyungsoo believes him. “You won for a reason, right?”  
Kyungsoo scoffs. “You don’t even believe in the moon.”  
“No,” Jongin agrees before stepping back towards the medicine hut to return to Seulgi’s side. He licks his lips and steals himself for his own confession. “But I believe in you.”  
~*~  
Winter arrives unseasonably late, announcing its arrival with a storm that comes and goes as gently as summer winds. Jongin falls asleep one night to a frosted, green glade, furs wrapped around his shoulders and the fire crackling in the pit in his and Kyungsoo’s cabin, and wakes to a fresh blanket of white covering everything.  
“It’s really winter,” Jongin says, standing in the doorway of the cabin, holding out his hand. Tiny, white flakes settle on palm, melting instantly.  
“Huh?” Kyungsoo’s voice grumbles from underneath the furs he’d piled over himself last night. Jongin glances back at him, barking out a laugh.  
“Get up,” he calls back. “It snowed.”  
Kyungsoo perks up, sleep-mussed hair and eyes the only thing Jongin can see peeking out from his blanket. “Snow?”  
Jongin sticks out his tongue. “It is winter time, you know? Snow usually happens around this time of sun cycle.” Kyungsoo pads up next to him, rubbing his eyes and blinking at the white world around them.  
“Obviously,” he deadpans. “I was almost convinced the ceremony had scared winter away completely. The goddess has been gentle.”  
Jongin restrains himself from rolling his eyes. “I think it was the buck you caught,” he says, half-sarcastic and half-sincere. Kyungsoo side-eyes him.  
“It definitely wasn’t your corn,” he says. Jongin shoves him, hard, and Kyungsoo tumbles right out of the doorway and into the snow with an indignant shout.  
“Jongin!” he snarls, crouching with his teeth bared. Snow sits stark on his black hair, his bangs sticking to his forehead. He shivers a little bit, but that’s his own fault for not shifting immediately after falling into the snow. Jongin shows his own teeth with a wide grin.  
“Kyungsoo!” he answers in the same tone of voice. Kyungsoo growls, and Jongin hasn’t even made it halfway through his laugh before he’s tackled into the snow, Kyungsoo hovering over him. The alpha snaps his teeth near Jongin’s ear, and Jongin reacts on instinct, bucking his hips up to dislodge his attacker. Kyungsoo rolls across the snow, and Jongin shoves himself up, throwing himself after the alpha.  
He explodes into wolf form, crashing into Kyungsoo, snapping his jaws next to Kyungsoo’s neck. He expects it when the human body beneath him melts, tearing itself apart to become the familiar form of Kyungsoo’s black wolf. He doesn’t expect the strength that comes with it, doesn’t expect the way Kyungsoo throws him away easily. Jongin skitters across the ground, paws scrambling to catch his footing. When he looks up, Kyungsoo’s tongue is lolling out of his mouth, and his tail wags behind him.  
Jongin wags his own tail. He and Kyungsoo haven’t played before, and Jongin’s heart soars as he bounds forward, meeting Kyungsoo halfway. They tumble through the snow together, barking and chasing each other into the glade. Their play fight attracts the attention of the pack, wolves stumbling away from work to howl and cheer, egging them on.  
Kyungsoo is all brute strength, but Jongin is faster. Where Jongin is a trickster, Kyungsoo is sly. They’re both panting hard, the tide of their wrestling switching back and forth between who has the upper-hand until Jongin trips himself with his own paws. Kyungsoo strikes, pressing Jongin back into the snow, panting hard as his teeth graze Jongin’s neck. Jongin tucks his ears back and his tail between his legs.  
Kyungsoo steps back, huge paws leaving perfect prints in the snow. The pristine snowfall is ruined all around the glade, and Jongin leaps to all fours, panting happily at the aftermath of their wrestling. He should lick Kyungsoo’s jaw and admit defeat, but he darts forward and nips his ear before he turns tail and sprints. Kyungsoo’s howl, a note low and full, follows him, and Jongin throws his head back and howls just above Kyungsoo’s as he runs. Dozens of pawsteps pound after him as he runs, and Jongin is happy.  
Winter is mild and the pack is surviving just fine, able to play together. Even he and Kyungsoo can play together now, and with a start just as Kyungsoo catches up to him, fur brushing Jongin’s as they run with the pack behind them, Jongin realizes the original animosity between them is long gone. He wonders if the snowfall has anything to do with it, or if his heart has managed to thaw before the sun returns to warm the earth.  
~*~  
As winter carries on, never too cold, the pack continues to thrive. Most of the pack members spend their time solely in wolf form, sometimes curling up together outside with their tails tucked over their noses. Jongin hopes the strength he sees in the pack right now continues; he hopes this mild winter isn’t just settling him into a false sense of security.  
Just before the end of the sun cycle, more and more omegas retreat into their homes, some of them kicking their mates out and other bringing their mates in with them. The end of the sun cycle means heat season, and it usually leads to pup season in the spring. The pack is thriving.  
Jongin’s heat simmers under his skin for a few days before it surges to the surface, driving him into hiding in the cabin while Kyungsoo is out with a hunting party. He works himself off, washing his hands and stepping into a clean pair of fur-lined pants before Kyungsoo returns, but there’s nothing to be done for the obvious scent of his body waiting to be bred.  
Kyungsoo pads in in wolf form, fish caught in his jaws. He eyes Jongin oddly, and then his nostrils flare the moment he drops the fish from his mouth, his eyes darkening. He shakes, snow flying off of his fur. Jongin watches in slight amusement as the alpha shifts, darting immediately for his pants and nearly tripping in his haste to put them on.  
“You-” He swallows. “You’re in heat.”  
Jongin draws his furs up a little higher, his nose buried in the pelt. “Yeah,” he says. “Happens every year. Nothing to panic about.”  
Kyungsoo’s fingers curl into fists and release. “Do you- should I leave?” he squeaks. Jongin full on laughs at Kyungsoo’s discomfort, shaking his head.  
“You don’t have to unless you want to,” Jongin says. “This is your cabin too.”  
“Yeah, but.” Kyungsoo takes a step towards his furs before changing course to stoke the fire, grabbing the fish and lengthening his nails into claws to skin them. He looks towards Jongin and then towards the door. “Do you- are you comfortable? Should I take you to your parents’ house?”  
Jongin shakes his head. “I’ll stay,” he declares. “You’re already cooking enough for two anyway.”  
“Well, I-”  
“You won’t touch me,” Jongin says, fully confident in it. “I know you won’t.” He bites his tongue to stop himself from cackling at the way Kyungsoo is sitting to hide his obvious erection. “Even if you may want to.” Kyungsoo’s nose twitches, and Jongin almost thinks he’s going to smile. Instead Kyungsoo settles the fish over the fire and practically waddles to grab his furs, dragging them to the opposite side of the fire from Jongin.  
“I’ll be right here,” he says. “If you need anything-”  
“I’ll ask,” Jongin promises. “All I want right now is that fish and maybe a little extra time alone tomorrow.” Kyungsoo’s cheeks flame, and Jongin can’t hold back his teasing cackling anymore.  
“Sure,” Kyungsoo agrees, voice higher pitched. Jongin doesn’t manage to stop giggling before he falls asleep, trying his best to ignore the slick between his thighs and how much colder the air feels when his skin is so heated like this.  
Kyungsoo releases a deep breath in his dreams, and Jongin blinks at him sadly as the winter wind blows outside, giving up his dreams of spending a heat carefully cared for by an alpha he loves. At least the alpha he does have is perfectly willing to give Jongin his space. As Second, that’s all he can ask for.  
~*~  
Little green shoots of grass and underbrush poke through the snow, and Jongin leans down to poke at one. The leaves are soft and appear almost blindingly green against the snowy backdrop. Jongin rubs one of the leaves between his fingers before pushing himself back into a standing position.  
“Spring is coming,” Seungwan breaks through the quiet. Jongin nods, breathing in deeply. The air is still cold, but it tastes of new life. There are many new pups who will be born to the pack this spring, the mild winter having resulted in a pack that will emerge already strong into the spring months. They won’t have to rebuild their numbers this sun cycle, and still they’ll be welcoming another ten wolves into their ranks of nearly one hundred pack members. Hana and Minyoung would be proud to see their pack living well, Jongin thinks.  
He tosses a smirk in Seungwan’s direction, and she recoils, nose wrinkled as she stares at him. “What are you making that face for?”  
“How was heat season for you, First?” Jongin asks, teasing. Seungwan groans out loud, kicking at the snow.  
“I can’t wait anymore,” she says, turning to slam the side of her fist into a tree trunk. “He’s everything I want. He was asking for me during his heat, and, well. You know the rules.” Jongin nods. He does.  
“When are you going to ask him to run?” he inquires. Seungwan gnaws on her lip.  
“I don’t know,” she says. “It just hasn’t felt right quite yet. It hasn’t even been a full sun cycle since we met.”  
“Almost is,” Jongin tells her. “This time last sun cycle I was preparing for the tournament.”  
“Kyungsoo and I too,” Seungwan says. “I think we all knew if would be him though.” Jongin raises his eyebrows.  
“Really?” he asks. Seungwan shrugs.  
“Jongdae told me everyone knew it would be you,” she says. “Everyone except you. It was the same with Kyungsoo.” Jongin looks down at his wrapped feet, leather and cloth keeping out most of the cold. Seungwan pokes his shoulder. “Just think,” she starts, “we could have all died this first year. But we made it out completely fine.” She grins. “The moon made the right choice with you and Kyungsoo.”  
“What about you?” Jongin asks instead of responding to his First’s comment about the moon goddess.  
“What about me?” Seungwan cocks her head to the left.  
“The tournament,” Jongin clarifies. “Did you know it would be you?”  
Seungwan shakes her head. “Maybe after the preliminary rounds were over,” she says. “I kind of thought I might have a chance. But I took myself out of the running for Leader after I saw Kyungsoo spar.”  
It’s Jongin’s turn to cock his head. “You got to decide you didn’t want to be Leader?” he inquires. Seungwan twirls some of her hair around her fingers.  
“It’s different from the omega tournament,” she answers. “Where you all only had one position you were competing for, we have two positions to fill. Some wolves go all the way for the Leader position, but some of us, like me, take ourselves out of the running and align ourselves with one of the wolves still aiming to be Leader. In the end, it was Kyungsoo and I versus Seokjin and Junmyeon. We won, and now…” She makes a vague gesture with her hands. “We’re Leader and First.”  
Jongin wrinkles his nose. If Seungwan hadn’t ended up with Kyungsoo, his First could be someone else completely. If Kyungsoo hadn’t defeated Seokjin, Jongin could just as easily be mated to him instead. It makes him sick, his stomach churning, as he comes face to face once again with how little his mateship to Kyungsoo matters in the grand scheme of the pack. Their union signifies the strength of the pack, but it doesn’t stand for anything loving.  
Jongin thinks back to Hana and Minyoung and how in love they were. He thinks of his grandmother's stories and how the strength of love was always tenfold the strength of body. He wonders, not for the first time, if the traditional tournament does more harm than good.  
“Some people get lucky, I guess,” he murmurs to himself. Even still, the pack hadn’t idolized their love in any way. They admired their strength and their ability to lead. The pack wants a leadership pair who loves the pack and does anything for the pack.  
“What was that?” Seungwan asks, and Jongin shakes his head to clear his thoughts.  
“Nothing,” Jongin says quickly. “It was nothing.” Seungwan purses her lips, and Jongin crosses his arms, a clear sign that he doesn't want to answer. Seungwan doesn't press, but her curiosity is blatant as the chill still hovering in the air.  
"Who died?" interrupts the tension between First and Second, and Seungwan visibly relaxes as Jongdae slips out of the trees, pulling the ties on his pants. His skin is a little pink; he shouldn't be out here in human form without a coat. He wraps his arms around Seungwan, pressing himself against the fur cloak she wears.  
"You if you don't let go," Seungwan quips. Jongdae kisses her cheek in response and blows a raspberry towards Jongin.  
"You're disgusting," Jongin informs him.  
"And yet I'm getting Chased," Jongdae almost sings. He releases Seungwan, skipping a few steps away. Jongin blinks. Seungwan stares ahead, frozen in place. Jongdae coughs. "I mean," he tries. "Probably."  
"I-" Seungwan starts. She swallows. Jongin presses the back of his hand to his mouth to stifle the cross between a choked cough and a laugh that's threatening to break free. There's no reason it can't happen, but it doesn't. Omegas don't ask alphas or betas to chase them; alphas ask if omegas want to be chased. Jongin rolls his eyes. Trust Jongdae to throw caution to the wind at a completely inopportune time.  
"Just a thought," Jongdae says, his hands up. "You can think about it."  
"Jongdae!" Seungwan nearly shrieks, twirling around and driving her fist hard into Jongdae's chest. Jongdae stumbles back, clutching at his chest, but he's grinning.  
"So...is that a no?" he asks, and the genuine worry in his voice is clear through the joking tone and bright eyes.  
Seungwan is flushed. "We'll talk about it later," she tries to hiss, but it's a little too breathless to carry any real threat. Jongdae's face is about to split with the size of his smile.  
"What are you doing out here, Jongdae?" Jongin cuts in before his First and his friend can start another round of flirting. "Aren't you supposed to be out running the pups?"  
Jongdae perks up, eyes very focused. "I was. Namjoon has them now, and Jimin stepped in for me."  
Jongin narrows his eyes. "Why?"  
Jongdae's mouth straightens into a line. "We were out towards the border instead of the mountains, and I smelled something."  
Seungwan wrinkles her nose. "Namjoon farting?"  
Jongdae snorts into a laugh but straightens immediately into serious mode again. "No. Maybe. But really, there were wolf scents I didn't recognize. But I know another pack when I smell one."  
Jongin's mouth turns upside down into a deep frown, and Seungwan's lips draw back in a snarl.  
"Another pack?" she repeats. "How close were you to the border?"  
"Not close enough for the scent to be as clear as it was," Jongdae says. "I wouldn't lead the pups that close to another pack's territory." He stares at Jongin, challenging him to argue. Jongin doesn't. "Besides, I followed the trail nearly to the glade before it looped back around."  
"So our neighbors are just walking right in," Seungwan snarls.  
"They've wanted our territory for sun cycles," Jongin says. He looks to Jongdae. "Remember when we were thirteen sun cycles? The scuffle?"  
Jongdae's eyes light with remembrance. "Yes. It was the same area. They're back." Jongin's stomach churns violently. Another pack is encroaching on his pack's territory. He knows nothing about this pack; he doesn't know how large it is. He doesn't know how they fight.  
And now, evidently, this pack knows a little about his pack if they've been sending scouts.  
"Do you know if this is the first time they've come in?" Jongin asks. Jongdae shakes his head.  
"I would assume this is the first time," he says. "We send patrols out every day. Surely they would have noticed?"  
"Surely," Jongin repeats. He chews on his bottom lip. "I'll go speak with Leader."  
"I'll go too," Seungwan says. "Hopefully this won't become a large problem is we're proactive about it."  
Jongin nods in agreement. "You've got a plan, I guess?"  
"Yes," Seungwan confirms. "But it could be risky."  
"Might be worth the risk," Jongin says. "But let's not say anything here. We don't know who could be listening."  
"I'll get going," Jongdae says. "Our best tracker is out near the border now sniffing around. I'll go meet up with him."  
"Taemin doesn't fight well," Seungwan says worriedly. Jongdae grins at her.  
"But I do," he says.  
"If the other pack is still around, they'll kill him," Jongin warns.  
Jongdae's grin flips upside down. "Exactly. That's why I'm going over there now. Chanyeol should be heading out there now too."  
"Good," Seungwan says.  
"Good job, Jongdae," Jongin adds. His friend wrinkles his nose.  
"This is my pack too, you know? I care." He doesn't wait for any response to that, stripping out of his pants and handing them to Seungwan before he bursts into wolf form. He's nothing more than a streak through the trees as he takes off.  
"How the fuck do you expect to catch him?" Jongin asks. Seungwan shakes her head, tying Jongdae's pants around her waist.  
"I'm hoping he runs slow," she answers. "Now come on. We've gotta meet with Kyungsoo." They start off back towards the glade, running side by side, leaping over branches, snow spraying up behind them. More than once, Jongin wants to tear through his skin and clothes into his wolf form, but he actually likes his fur lined clothes. They're not as easy to mend as summer clothing.  
Kyungsoo is in the middle of a circle of wolves, facing off against another alpha, when Jongin and Seungwan arrive. Howls and yips resound in the glade, the wolves circling their Leader and fellow pack member prancing around and stamping their paws, snow flying up and settling on their noses.  
"Well," Seungwan breathes, and she sounds excited, her worry suddenly dissipated, "this is not what I expected."  
"A duel?" Jongin asks, bristling. Kyungsoo is being challenged right now; Jongin feels challenged.  
"No!" Seungwan laughs, smacking Jongin's shoulder playfully. "Look at their fur. They're all relaxed." All the wolves' tails are wagging, tongues lolling out of their mouths. "It's a game."  
Jongin watches Kyungsoo tackle his opponent to the ground, listens to the bright cheers from the other wolves at his victory.  
“A game…” Jongin repeats slowly, watching the defeated wolf walk back into the circle. From the opposite side, a beta wolf steps out, starting to circle Kyungsoo. Jongin frowns. “I don’t get it.”  
Seungwan clears her throat and points toward the side of the circle that the beta wolf had emerged from. “See that gap there?” she asks. Sure enough, the circle is broken at one point, the wolves standing apart from each other to make two distinct ends of a curved line. “The two wolves there are the next competitors. Once on of the dueling wolves loses, one of them will come take his place to spar with the winning wolf.”  
“Which one?” Jongin inquires, listening to Seungwan talk and trying his best not be distracted by the beta wolf prancing forward, trying to feign his attacks. Seungwan looks at him. “They’re both up next,” Jongin elaborates, pointing at the two wolves standing at the circle’s ends. “How do they know which one spars next?”  
“Each end is in line behind one of the dueling wolves,” Seungwan explains. “So if that beta loses, the side he came from will send the next wolf in line.” She points to Kyungsoo. “But if Kyungsoo loses, then the wolf on the other end will come out against the wolf fighting Kyungsoo right now.”  
“And this just...continues?” Jongin asks. It looks fun. A round robin sparring tournament.  
“Yes,” Seungwan confirms. “Usually it just keeps going until everyone is too tired. It’s great for training, but it’s also good fun. It makes the players support each other. Like right now, Kyungsoo has probably been winning for a few duels now.”  
“Is there a limit to how many duels he can be in?” Jongin flexes his fingers. He wants to play.  
“No,” Seungwan says. “If he keeps winning until one side of the circle have all fought him, then he switches sides and will start sparring through the other side of the circle. If he makes it through all the member playing, then he wins.” Jongin stares.  
“There’s over twenty wolves playing!”  
“Yeah,” Seungwan laughs. “It’s a long game. When we were out in the mountains training, it would last for days sometimes.”  
“Days,” Jongin repeats numbly.  
“Yeah.” Seungwan grins, nudging his shoulder. “Do you want to join?” She taps her finger against Jongin’s nails where they’ve extended into claws.  
“Is it obvious?” he asks. Seungwan just keeps smiling. “We shouldn’t play right now though,” Jongin decides, sighing. Seungwan nods.  
“I’ll stop him,” she offers. She snorts as Kyungsoo tackles his opponent to the ground again, teeth on the beta wolf’s neck. “He’s competitive.”  
“How often did he win?”  
Seungwan grins. “I told you we all knew he’d be Leader, didn’t I?” Kyungsoo takes out another pack member, and Seungwan raises an eyebrow at Jongin. She tosses her hair over her shoulder and trots off across the glade. Jongin follows at a significantly slower place, watching as Seungwan breaks into a full on sprint and hurdles herself over the pack members forming the circle.  
“Leader!” she calls out in warning. Kyungsoo turns from his fight, and Seungwan barrels into him, dragging them both to the ground.  
The cheering wolves pause immediately, and the wolf Kyungsoo had been dueling backs off. Kyungsoo snarls, hackles raised, and Seungwan gives him her own growl through her human throat.  
“Second is waiting for us,” she says. Kyungsoo calms, his fur relaxing along his back. He looks up at Jongin, and his eyes don't waver as he shifts from four paws to two feet. One of the betas in the circle scramble to hand him his pants, and Jongin winces a the pink tinge to Kyungsoo's skin from the cold.  
"Come on," Seungwan urges, walking back towards Jongin. "It's too cold for you to be out here like that."  
Kyungsoo shivers. Seungwan laughs, urging him out of the circle. Kyungsoo's eyes narrow into a glare.  
"Your hands are cold," he mutters.  
"I've been out here for hours, and I haven't been sparring to keep warm, so." Seungwan sticks her tongue out. She glances back at the circle of wolves. "Keep playing!" she urges. "Let someone other than Leader win for once."  
Jongin rolls his eyes at Kyungsoo's smug little smile.  
"I don't do it to win," he tries to protest to Seungwan. First looks completely unimpressed.  
"Don't forget I fought with you in the tournament," she says. "I know that better than anyone here." Kyungsoo makes to elbow her, and Seungwan ducks away, sidling up to Jongin instead.  
"I like Second better," she declares. "He's more fun." Jongin blinks. Kyungsoo shrugs.  
"Sure," he agrees. "You just don't want to piss him off. He could probably take you in a fight."  
"Are you mocking me?" Jongin demands, eyes narrowed. Kyungsoo reels back.  
"No?" he says. "Seungwan told me about your fight with Chanyeol. I'm pretty sure you could take her."  
"I really feel like a worthy First right now," Seungwan mock sulks. She pouts at Kyungsoo, and he just frowns at her. "Anyway," Seungwan sing-songs, switching gears. She sobers quickly, and Jongin and Kyungsoo follow her lead. She leads them up around the rock faces towards their cabin. "We have to talk."  
"We have to plan," Jongin corrects. Kyungsoo's frown deepens.  
"What's going on?" he demands, pushing open the door to the cabin. They file inside, settling in the main room. If Seungwan notices the separate piles of fur in the living space obviously being used for sleeping instead of the private room around the corner, she doesn't say anything.  
"Our neighbors," she says. "They've crossed the border." Kyungsoo bristles, a snarl tearing from his throat.  
"Where?" he demands, hands going to the ties on his pants. Jongin reaches out and grabs his wrist.  
"Wait," he urges. "Jongdae and Chanyeol are out there right now to make sure Taemin's protected. He's going to figure out exactly where they went to. And then we'll know why."  
"Isn't that obvious?" Seungwan cuts in. "They want our territory. Maybe they want to take our pack. It doesn't really matter; they're somewhere they're not supposed to be."  
Kyungsoo nods in agreement. "I assume you've got some sort of plan?"  
"I say we just intimidate them," Seungwan answers. "If they're scouting, that means they're trying to learn about us. No one has caught the scent near the glade, so they probably don't know how many of us there are."  
"We're nearly one-hundred strong," Jongin says. "They've got less land than we do. They can't be bigger than us. There wouldn't be enough prey for them."  
"But that one-hundred includes the pups and the elderly," Seungwan argues. "There are only forty or so members who are able to fight if we consider that nursing wolves and omegas with young children and the priests all cannot leave the inner circles of our territory to engage in a border skirmish."  
Jongin bites his bottom lip. She's right. "There's also the fields to consider," he adds.  
"Exactly," Seungwan says.  
"But we can't send out forty wolves at once and leave the glade unguarded," Kyungsoo protests.  
"No," Seungwan agrees. "But we can send out over half of that in four patrols all at once. It will make us look like we have more active members than we do."  
"It's risky," Jongin breathes. Seungwan grins.  
"But effective."  
Jongin can't argue with that.  
"We also don't know how far they're traveling to get in," Kyungsoo adds. "We'll have to send one patrol in every direction from the glade to cover the whole territory at once."  
"The pups can hunt tomorrow with a few mentors," Jongin offers. "The older pups, anyway. They're well-trained. They've been hunting with their own families for moons now."  
Kyungsoo's eyes slide between Jongin and Seungwan. "Each of us will lead a patrol," he declares. "And Jongin will choose the pups who go out."  
"I'll let Sehun and Seulgi make their own choices," he says.  
"I volunteer Junmyeon and Juhyeon to lead the fourth patrol," Seungwan says. "They can take six wolves with them towards the mountains."  
"No," Kyungsoo interjects. "I'll lead the patrol towards the mountains. That's the next likely place they'd go to after the borderlands."  
"I'll go to the borderlands then," Seungwan says. "And I'll talk to Taemin about the trails he found." Kyungsoo nods.  
"I'll head south," Jongin offers, "and loop up towards the borderlands to meet you, Seungwan." First smiles.  
"Perfect," she says. "That should keep them away."  
"Or it could scare them into attacking," Kyungsoo warns. Seungwan bares her teeth.  
"Good," she says. "I'm just aching to get my claws wet."  
Kyungsoo looks at Jongin. "Go pick your team now," he orders. "We leave at first light. There's a lot of ground to cover." He looks at Seungwan. "You too."  
"I'm taking Jongdae," Jongin tells Seungwan as they step out into the darkening evening. She pouts but agrees.  
"I trust you to take care of him," she says. Jongin scoffs.  
"He can outrun an avalanche. I doubt he needs anyone to protect him." He grins then, sticking out his tongue at his First. "How do you plan to catch him?" Seungwan snarls at him, shoving at him.  
"Go get your wolves," she says and darts off in the direction that Jongdae and Taemin will coming from. Jongin shakes his head. He's jealous, yes, but he's happy for his friends.  
Both of them, Jongdae and Seungwan, they're friends. He's not nearly as alone in this pack as he thought.  
"Our first crisis," Kyungsoo's voice interrupts Jongin's thoughts. He turns to look at the alpha wolf now dressed in all fur-lined clothing, follows his eyes up to the moon where she floats high above them against a purple background, not quite full again.  
"Yeah," Jongin says. "We're going to keep this pack safe."  
"Yes," Kyungsoo agrees. "We have to. This is what we're meant to do." He takes a deep breath. "This is when the pack is weakest," he adds. "We're still in our first sun cycle as Leader and Second. We're still transitioning. I think the other pack was probably waiting for this."  
Jongin doesn't say anything in response. He agrees; he also knows exactly how much he's slowed his and Kyungsoo's progress towards being a good pair to lead this pack. Kyungsoo reaches out and squeezes Jongin's upper arm. "Be careful tomorrow, Second."  
"You too, Kyungsoo," Jongin returns. His stomach turns with nerves anyway. Someone could die tomorrow, from this pack or that pack. "Be prepared for anything." He walks away then, heading towards his cousin's home; he wants wolves he trusts to have his back tomorrow.  
~*~  
A miserable drizzle mists around Jongin and his team as they patrol to the south, making a wide circle around the southernmost tips of their territory. They walk in silence in a perfect line, all of them stepping in the pawprints Jongin makes. It looks like there’s only one wolf wandering around in the snow, but Jongin and the five pack members with him with fall into line with Seungwan’s wolves after they finish scouring this area of the pack lands and become part of an intimidating force.  
With any luck, they’ll scare their neighbors away from ever crossing into their territory again. Without any luck, they’ll probably spill blood before the moon rises again.  
He just hopes his pack will be fine. As individuals, almost all of them are capable of holding their own in a fight. As a pack, in theory, they should be unstoppable. But with Jongin and Kyungsoo still not solidified in their roles as Leader and Second, Jongin fears the wolves in their pack won't recognize their orders in the frenzy of battle.  
Jongin has never been in a real fight before; most of them haven't. He's seen wolves tear each other to shreds before, but he's never done it himself. He was a mere twelve sun cycles when his pack was last involved in a border war. He remembers sneaking off with Sehun and Taehyung to watch Minyoung and Hana lead the charge against their neighbors, remembers the bright splash of blood against the snow. Will he see the same thing today, he wonders? Will he cause it?  
Jongin angles himself towards the center of the western lands of his pack's lands to come up behind Seungwan's group, guarding her back. His team follows him quietly, but Jongin can feel their tension in his own muscles. They're anticipating a fight just as much as Jongin is. Jongin glances back at them, looks at the way Yoongi's hackles are raised, the way Jongdae's tail wags in agitation.  
He's got a lot of strength behind him. His chest feels ready to burst with the power that these wolves possess.  
The trees make for good cover as Jongin and his patrol slip through their own territory. Jongin signals for Yoongi to take the lead; his pale silver coat blends much better with the snow than Jongin's red fur. The alpha carefully pads ahead of Jongin, his tail brushing Jongin's shoulder. He doesn't have to slink through the shadows nearly as much, prowling through the snow with his teeth bared, looking every bit the dangerous predator he's been raised to be.  
Jongin and Jongdae split to hide on other side of Yoongi, burying themselves in the mud and dead foliage, letting the snow settle over their fur for camouflage. Jongin jerks his nose towards Yoongi, and Taehyung and Byulyi spread out to flank Yoongi in the open. They're entering the area where Taemin warned them this morning that he had scented the other pack. They could be walking directly into a fight as any moment, and Jongin does not want to show their numbers or strength right away.  
Jongin's nose twitches when he smells their neighbors a few moments later, but the scent is not clinging to the ground or the trees. It's not stale; rather, it's a fresh scent carried on the wind accompanied by the sounds of fighting.  
Seungwan's howl rings in the air, and Jongdae darts from his hiding spot, the fur along his back standing on end. Jongin growls once, quietly, grabbing his attention. Jongdae freezes, whining in the back of his throat. His claws dig into the ground, ready to run.  
Jongin bares his teeth, and Jongdae presses his ears back in submission. Jongin signals Taehyung and Byulyi to run for the glade and warn the pack to be alert. There aren't many wolves there, but unless their neighbors have sent out the entirety of their capable fighters, the four patrols out right now should be enough to stop them before they can reach the center of their territory. The two sprint off side-by-side, and Jongin takes off in the opposite direction, Jongdae and Yoongi beside him.  
The din of a fight, the shred of claws through fur and the gnashing of teeth, gets louder as Jongin runs west towards the border. He can feel Jongdae’s worry and anger in his own chest and taste Yoongi’s unwavering need to defend the pack in the copper scent in the air.  
There’s no mistaking the scent of blood. Jongin hopes fervently that it’s not blood from one of his pack members. The land takes a sudden steep descent, and Jongin's paws scrabble over loose snow and rocks as he pushes himself faster, throwing himself forward with the force of his momentum. Jongdae's shoulders brush his, and Jongin pushes himself harder. Jongdae is holding back, running beside Jongin on his orders. If Jongin would let him, Jongdae would most likely already be in the midst of the battle they can hear just ahead.  
Jongin feels like he's floating, his paws barely touching the ground as he surges up an incline. The scent of blood is sharp, stinging his nose. Jongdae's control snaps and he hurdles past Jongin to the top of the slope. He freezes at the top with his teeth bared in a snarl of pure rage. Jongin's blood boils even before he crests the top of the incline and sees what Jongdae sees.  
If Jongin's pack is hurt, he will not hesitate to tear out the throat of the wolf who wounded one of his own.  
Yoongi's growl rips from deep in his chest, and Jongin comes to a halt between the two of them. The chill of the end of winter season seems to seep through his thick layer of fur as he takes in the battle in front of him, takes in the red stains splashed on the ground and the trees. Seungwan's patrol is being pressed back, all of them too distracted by their wounded First to fight properly.  
Jongdae releases the deepest sound of fury and fear, and Jongin follows his gaze to where Seungwan's wolf form lays prone on the ground. Hoseok stands over her, his body curled over First's to protect her. Hoseok's stomach is colored red with blood, and Jongin relaxes for only a moment when he realizes that it's not his.  
It's Seungwan's.  
First's side is torn open, deep gouges parting her fur and soaking the ground around her. Only a few paces away, a brown wolf sneers at her, trying to coax Hoseok away from Seungwan with taunts. Her front paws are covered in the same blood that coats the ground, and Jongin sees red.  
Seungwan! Jongin screams in his head, and out loud he releases the most threatening growl he can muster. Yoongi echoes him, drawing the attention of the other pack's wolves for long enough to give their own pack a moment to gain the upper hand in their individuals battles again. He has barely even glanced at Jongdae to give him permission to run before his fellow omega has taken off down the hill they stopped at the top of. He's at Seungwan's side in the blink of an eye, raking his claws down the flank of a wolf diving in to attack her. He snarls at the wolf, voice loud and enraged, and Jongin dives down the side of the hill with Yoongi to enter the fray.  
Seunwan's entire party is fighting, but they're outnumbered by over half. With Jongin and Yoongi and Jongdae joining the fight, the numbers are only one in their favor, but Jongin's pack is full of skilled fighters. They just have to fend their neighbor pack off and push them to retreat to their own territory. Jongin's muscles tense.  
He leaps, barreling into the large brown wolf, tackling her to the ground with his teeth in her shoulder and his claws in her sides. She howls in pain as they roll away from where Hoseok stands guard beside Seungwan, and Jongin only bites down harder, the taste of fresh blood filling his mouth. The wolf twists, trying to break free, but her movement only gets her throat closer to Jongin's teeth. He drags his claws down her belly, and the wolf goes limp, whimpering and crying out loud.  
Jongin isn't going to fall for that. He knows better than to believe she's going to submit to him. He rears back and snaps his jaws around the back of her neck. His teeth sink into her flesh, and the wolf's crying cuts out, her body frozen as her neck snaps.  
Jongin releases the body, stepping away. The brown wolf slumps to the ground, never to move again. Blood flows freely from her broken neck, drenching Jongin's paws. He turns and meets the enraged eyes of the brown wolf's fellow pack members, and he stares at them in challenge. Jongin snarls, his throat burning with it, and his pack attacks again, moral lifted with their Second standing beside them in battle.  
Jongin sprints back to Seungwan's side, and Jongdae dips his head to him, a sign of gratitude for the vengeance Jongin exacted on his lover's attacker. Jongin jerks his head back towards the glade, telling Jongdae to take Seungwan home, to get her help. She's not dead, but her breathing is shallow. She's still losing blood, and she's already lost a lot.  
Another one of their pack members, his muzzle covered in blood and gore, walks up beside them, and it takes Jongin a moment before he recognizes Seokjin, the wolf's broad shoulders hard to mistake even in lupine form. Seokjin's eyes display a weariness that only comes with a long battle, and he's limping. His front paw is probably sprained, and a wounded fighter is almost worse than no fighter at all. Seokjin jerks his head back towards the fight, and Jongin glances at Jongdae and Seungwan before he nods.  
Take care of them, he thinks with all his fight, watching Seokjin help Seungwan onto Jongdae's back and supporting her as Jongdae takes off back toward the glade. Yips and yowls of cruel glee direct Jongin's attention back to the fight, and he stares in horror as another two alpha wolves from the neighboring pack arrive, fresh and ready to fight.  
Beside him, Hoseok shakes, his eyes wide. He's tired; all of Seungwan's party is tired. Jongin and Yoongi are their only reinforcements right now, and the two of them against the two new wolves from the neighboring pack does not help their odds.  
Jongin watches as the new arrivals start to circle, and he nudges Hoseok's side. The alpha wolf visibly calms, shifting to guard Jongin.  
They need help, and there is only one wolf whom Jongin trusts to bring strength and victory with him.  
Jongin throws back his head and howls. The sound soars up and out, ringing in his own ears and spinning in his chest. He howls until the need to breathe overwhelms his need to call out for Kyungsoo. He opens his eyes, and the wolves from the neighboring pack have frozen. They can recognize a howl to signal one's location, no doubt. They can understand how low Jongin's call had been, the note only a tad higher than the one that head alpha's sing to their packs.  
They regard Jongin with a new hesitation in their movements. They know who he is now, and they've heard the stories of how his pack's alpha's mate is chosen. Jongin draws back his lips in a snarl.  
Yeah, he thinks. Think real carefully about who you're attacking. The other wolves snarl a command to attack, and Jongin dives in to meet them. He's intercepted by another of the pack, and he doesn't even hesitate before he sinks his teeth into the wolf's neck and tears through his throat. Yoongi is beside Jongin when he barrels into the larger of the two new arrivals, and Yoongi attacks the other with a certain deadly grace.  
They fight their hardest, giving worse than they get. Jongin's side stings with new cuts and scrapes, but there's more fur caught under his claws than his opponents, more blood on his teeth than his opponents.  
Hoseok yowls in high-pitched pain, and Jongin glances back at him for just a moment. Hoseok is fenced in by two wolves, and he's limping now too. Jongin turns away from his opponent and sprints to his pack mate's side, stopping in front of him to snarl at the wolves attacking him. The two attacking Hoseok do not hesitate to turn their attention to Jongin, fighting him instead.  
Jongin barks at Hoseok as he throws one of them to the ground just before the other tackles him flat. Go, he'd ordered. Hoseok shakes, holding a hind paw gingerly off the ground. If they lose Hoseok, then it's Jongin and Yoongi and the four remaining wolves from Seungwan's party versus ten of the other pack, but Hoseok is tired and panicked. He needs to leave.  
Jongin's shoulder screams as he shoved to the ground, the two wolves he'd been defending Hoseok from and the wolf he'd been fighting only moments before bearing down on him. Jongin leaps up, hoping that Hoseok has run off to safety. He's tackled again, his hind leg caught underneath him painfully. He ignores it, pressing up again, locking his teeth in one wolf's throat. His bite isn't quite right, and he misses anything vital, coming back only with his teeth full of fur and blood. That wolf whimpers, taking a step back, and Jongin takes the moment to push himself to his paws.  
He makes to leap onto the back of one wolf, but he hind leg gives out behind him, and he crashes hard to the ground. The large wolf he'd been fighting before barks in mocking laughter, and Jongin drags his claws along his belly, shedding blood.  
The wolf yowls, prancing back, but Jongin can't win on the ground. His leg won't support him. He's dead.  
The energy of his pack members drops rapidly, and he can feel them glancing toward him, dangerously distracted from their own fights. Jongin howls at them, a command to fight hard, to protect themselves. He feels teeth dig into his shoulder, and he howls his command again, his eyes never leaving the wolf stalking towards him.  
He's pinned to the ground now, teeth in his shoulder and another wolf's weight holding him flat against the bloodied snow. He snarls, trying to shake him off, but with his hind leg not responding, there's not much movement he can make.  
The wolf stalking towards him leans down, his teeth just barely scraping against Jongin's muzzle before he's knocked to the side, black fur filling Jongin's vision instead. The wolf on Jongin's back is dragged away, and Jongin lifts his head to confirm what he already knows.  
He knows that fur. He knows that aura and that strength.  
Kyungsoo, Jongin mentally sighs. The Leader turns to look at him, and Jongin bares his teeth to say he's fine. A lie, and Kyungsoo might know it, but he only turns back towards the wolf who had been about to tear out Jongin's throat. He snarls, diving forward, and blood splatters across Jongin's face as Kyungsoo rips apart the other wolf's neck. Kyungsoo's patrol streams down to join the fight, Changmin and Minseok and Chanyeol bear down on the other pack, attacking with ferocity and anger. Changmin and Minseok fight side by side, protecting each other, and for a moment, Jongin regrets not having the chance to fight alongside Kyungsoo.  
Leader stands over Jongin as he fights, keeping him safe even as he shreds skin and throats. The other pack doesn't last long with Kyungsoo's arrival. They can't fight another pack's Leader; they're all too tired now, and Kyungsoo stands unworn and protective over his mate and pack. They retreat quickly, intimidated, tails tucked between their legs as they sprint off.  
Kyungsoo barks at Changmin and Minseok, and the two of them race off after the other pack with Chanyeol and the rest of that patrol behind them, chasing the other wolves back towards the border. Harsh yowls and angry barks echo off the sky as they run.  
Jongin stays on the ground, listening to Kyungsoo breathe over him. He takes a deep breath and allows his fur to recede, his body shifting and morphing back into his human form. Behind him, Kyungsoo does the same.  
"Go home," Kyungsoo orders the exhausted pack members in front of him. "You've all done well." He looks to Yoongi. "Will you make sure everyone gets back to the glade and their wounds are tended to?" Yoongi dips his head, showing his neck in submission. The silver wolf walks off in the direction of the glade, walking with his head held high and the other wolves dragging their paws as they walk behind him. Exhaustion is clear in their unsteady gates, but pride and victory are bright in their eyes.  
Pride swells in Jongin's chest. This was their first battle, and they won.  
“They’ll run the border patrol right after that,” Jongin tells Kyungsoo, gesturing off in the direction that his mentor and his mate took. “Minseok and Changmin will mark up the border. They know.” Kyungsoo doesn't respond to that, choosing instead to kneel down next to Jongin. His hands are gentle on Jongin’s shoulders.  
"Are you okay?" Kyungsoo asks. “I’m not worried about Changmin and Minseok. I’m worried about you.”  
“Don’t be,” Jongin says.  
“Still,” Kyungsoo presses. “Are you okay?”  
"Yeah," Jongin breathes. "I'm alright."  
"Can you stand?" Jongin nods, pushing himself up to his feet. He wobbles, and his right leg won't take his full weight, but nothing feels broken. Kyungsoo's stares hard at his knee. "Your leg," he murmurs.  
"It's fine," Jongin insists even though it's starting to ache the longer he stands there. "It's... I'm okay, Kyungsoo."  
"You're not," Kyungsoo sighs. He steps in close to Jongin's side, and the warmth of his skin is relief in the chill air. Neither of them have clothing with them; they shouldn't be in human form. "Lean on me," Kyungsoo urges. Jongin does so without protest, sagging against Kyungsoo's side, allowing Leader to take most of his weight onto himself. Jongin limps forward, and Kyungsoo slows himself to Jongin's pace.  
They don't make it much further than over the hill before Jongin's knee gives out completely, and he collapses against Kyungsoo, the other wolf stumbling as he adjusts to hold Jongin upright.  
"Okay," he whispers. "Are you okay?"  
Jongin shows him a pained smile. "I don't think I can walk," Jongin laughs although there is no humor in the sound. "Give me a second. I'll be alright in a minute." Kyungsoo shakes his head.  
"No."  
"No?" Jongin returns. He's about to snarl, to tell Kyungsoo that he literally cannot walk even if he wants to, when Kyungsoo speaks again.  
"I'll shift," he says. "I can carry you on my back."  
Jongin blinks. "Are... you sure?"  
Kyungsoo nods. "Yes," he says. "I wouldn't offer otherwise. Come on." He shifts then, falling forward onto all fours. Jongin pushes himself up, hobbling forward. Kyungsoo leans down, and Jongin all but crashes onto him, his hands shaking with exhaustion and the pain in his leg as he adjusts himself to sit astride Kyungsoo's back. He stays flat, his cheek pressed between Kyungsoo's shoulder blades.  
"I'm okay," he murmurs into Kyungsoo's dark fur. "Let's go home." Kyungsoo whines low in his throat, taking off in a trot back across their territory. Jongin twists his fingers in Kyungsoo's fur, sinking his hands deep to feel the warmth of his skin.  
"We won," Jongin whispers. "Our first battle." Kyungsoo growls a little. He's proud too. Ice suddenly curls around Jongin's heart, and Kyungsoo whines when he feels Jongin tense up.  
"Seungwan," Jongin explains. "You saw all the blood right? That was Seungwan's. She's- we have to hurry." He grips Kyungsoo's fur tighter, and Leader takes off running across the territory, heading back towards the glade and the medicine hut. Jongin holds his breath, keeping himself from grimacing out loud when his knee is jostled with Kyungsoo's strides.  
They break through the trees into the glade, and Jongin sits up, looking around for Seungwan. He sees Jongdae in human form being held by Juhyeon, Yerim and Sooyoung sitting beside him, holding his hands. Jongin's friend is shaking, but he's not crying. Jongin hopes that's good news.  
"Leader," Seokjin's voice drags Jongin away from watching his friend. The alpha holds out two pairs of pants, and Jongin slips off of Kyungsoo's back, tumbling to the ground.  
"Thanks," he says, holding out his hand for the pants. Seokjin hands them over, and Jongin struggles into them. He looks up to see Kyungsoo's hand outstretched toward him to help him up.  
"Let's get you checked out," he says with a jerk of his head back towards the medicine hut. Jongin nods in agreement, and he doesn't protest when Kyungsoo turns his back to Jongin, telling him to get on. It's not graceful; Jongin's bum knee not allowing him to jump up like he wants to, but it's much easier clinging to Kyungsoo's back than to limp across the glade.  
"Second," a priestess greets, and Jongin recognizes her.  
"Hyejin," he greets. "Hey."  
"You're hurt?" she asks, and her eyes are already on Jongin's knee where it's lodged agaisnt Kyungsoo's side.  
"Sprained, I think," he says. Hyejin offers him a smile.  
"Follow me," she says, waving them back towards one of the bays full of bedding. "We'll get that wrapped up, and then you go home and rest." Kyungsoo settles Jongin gently on the fur mat that Hyejin points out, and Jongin bites his lip to hide the worst of his wince.  
"You're gonna have to stay off your feet for a few days," Hyejin warns, grabbing a roll of cotton and carefully straightening out Jongin's leg. Jongin sucks in a breath, biting harder on his lip. "Sorry," the priestess says, but Jongin kind of doubts it. She's gentle as she binds his leg. "I can get you some poppy if you-"  
"No," Jongin interrupts. "I can handle a little pain."  
Hyejin pats his ankle. "Your wolf is strong," she says. "You'll heal quickly. In no time, really."  
"That's a relief then," Jongin says. Kyungsoo too looks relieved. Hyejin makes to stand, but Jongin grabs her wrist. "How is Seu- First?"  
Hyejin's expression darkens. "She's okay," she says. "She'll live."  
"You don't sound convinced," Kyungsoo observes. Hyejin glances around, biting the tip of her tongue.  
"Hyejin," Jongin murmurs lowly.  
"We're not entirely sure her muscles will heal properly," Hyejin admits quietly. "The damage is really severe. She's has to stay in wolf form for the next moon at least."  
"And if she doesn't heal?" Jongin asks, and Hyejin's downcast eyes are answer enough.  
"Then... perhaps the moon goddess didn't make the right choice of First," Hyejin says. "Or she has other plans for First. You never can be sure."  
Jongin shakes his head. "She's a strong wolf," he says. "She's going to pull through just fine."  
Hyejin sighs. "She is strong," she agrees. "But that doesn't mean she's indestructible." Kyungsoo squeezes Jongin's shoulder.  
"For Jongdae's sake," Jongin tells him, looking up at him, "I'm going to believe that she'll be fine."  
"He would like that," Hyejin says. She stands then. "That's everything for you then. Stay off your feet for a few days. You should be fine by the time the full moon rises." That's only a few days away. Jongin's heart pounds at the thought. Maybe this time he and Kyungsoo will get it right; maybe this time they'll lead a successful run. It's been quite a few moons. They're long overdue.  
"Come on, Second," Kyungsoo whispers. "Let's go back to the cabin." Jongin reaches up, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo's neck and leaping up as best he can onto Leader's back.  
"I want to go see Seungwan first," Jongin says, and he glances towards Hyejin.  
"Tomorrow, maybe," the priestess says. "She needs to be kept away from any possible danger as much as possible. Even an infection as this point could be her death." Jongin's stomach turns.  
"Don't keep Jongdae away from her," he orders quietly. "It'll be easier for her to have him there." Hyejin nods and bows.  
"I'll see what I can do," she promises. Kyungsoo thanks her and walks away then, taking Jongin with him. Jongin leans his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder as they stride back out into the glade.  
"Do you want to see Jongdae?" Kyungsoo asks. Jongin looks over at his friend where he's collapses half-asleep on Juhyeon's shoulder. Yerim is snuggled up in his lap, and Seulgi kneels in front of them both. She and Juhyeon are being civil, and Jongin wonders if he's just imagining the awkward tension between them.  
Jongdae would be pleased to see his predictions don't seem to be too incorrect. Across the way, Jongin sees Sooyoung asking Seokjin about the fight. He'd nearly forgotten that he'd given Seokjin Sooyoung to mentor.  
"Juhyeon will take care of him," Jongin says. "She's friends with Seungwan. I'll see him tomorrow or something." He watches Juhyeon brush Jongdae’s hair off his forehead. “She’s really become a good wolf now that she’s got Yerim to care for.”  
“Yes,” Kyungsoo agrees. “She has.” He pauses, turning towards the head of the glade. "Should we go back to the cabin, then?"  
Jongin tightens his grip on Kyungsoo's waist, holding himself up better on his back. "Yes," he agrees. "I can't even pretend to not be tired right now."  
"You fought hard," Kyungsoo tells him. "I saw you. Three wolves against one." He glances back over his shoulder as he treads up the path towards their cabin. "You're a good fighter Jongin, but those odds were never going to be in your favor."  
Jongin nudges him. "I didn't have much choice. Hoseok had to get out of there."  
"You-" Kyungsoo starts, and then he shakes his head, exhaling. Jongin doesn't press; he feels like he might just fall asleep on Kyungsoo's back right now. They're silent the rest of the way to the cabin, Jongin only murmuring a quiet 'thanks' when Kyungsoo helps him settle down in his furs. Kyungsoo grabs him some water and sits beside him, his hands hovering as if Jongin is going to hurt himself in his own bed.  
"I'm fine," he says, handing the ladle back to Kyungsoo. The alpha wolf sits back and draws his knees in close to himself. He looks so small; Jongin has never seen him look like this in front of the pack. Trust, he thinks, is something they're learning.  
"I was so scared today," Kyungsoo admits quietly. "I didn't think I would get there in time." Jongin shrugs.  
"But you did," he says. "You made it. I could be dead right now."  
"Yes," Kyungsoo agrees. "You could have been. That's why I was scared." Jongin watches him silently and says nothing.  
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. "I've told you before," he begins softly, "that I don't know how I would lead this pack without you. And when I saw you on the ground, I thought the worst. I didn't even- it didn't matter that you were still alive. I wanted that other wolf dead for threatening you." He's shaking, his hands in fists. Jongin reaches out and curls his fingers loosely around Kyungsoo's fist.  
"I killed Seungwan's attacker," he whispers. "I- I get it. She hurts my pack, so I hurt her. And you-"  
"It's not the same," Kyungsoo interrupts. "Seungwan is pack, and you're pack. But you're also my mate. My Second."  
Jongin shrugs. "I don't think it's all that different," he insists. "Just because I'm your mate- I mean. We're just pack to each other. You don't love me anymore than you love the others." He doesn't say it bitterly. He's not; he doesn't love Kyungsoo either. Kyungsoo looks at him carefully.  
"Was that your first kill?" he asks. His fist relax.  
Jongin nods, letting go of Kyungsoo's hand. "Yeah," he admits. "I didn't even think about it at the time. I just knew I had to protect my pack, and so I-" He breathes. "Yeah. I just... I don't think I'll ever forget the taste of her blood." He grimaces. "Was he - the wolf who attacked me - was he yours?"  
"My first kill?" Kyungsoo looks down at his hands. "Yeah. Yeah, he was."  
"It doesn't make you a killer," Jongin assures him. "You're a protector. A Leader."  
"You're not either," Kyungsoo says. "Like you said, you were just protecting the pack." Jongin nods.  
"If we don't protect them," he begins, "then will they protect us? Protect each other?"  
Kyungsoo breathes out a little laugh. "You really... you're smart, Jongin. And you have a good heart."  
Jongin frowns. "If you think I'm going to compliment you just because you're compliment me..."  
Kyungsoo shakes his head then, and his eyes are serious when he meets Jongin's again. "Jongin," he starts. "I'm just trying to say that I'm proud of you as Second." Jongin is quiet, and Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before he presses on. "I can't ask you to love me. That would be unfair. But... just." He takes a moment to steady himself. "But maybe I can," Kyungsoo continues, "in the future... I can ask you to be proud of me as your Leader."  
Jongin quirks his lips up into a half smile. "You're almost there," he says, half teasing and half serious. "You're not nearly as bad of a leader as you seem to think you are." Kyungsoo visibly relaxes, and Jongin smiles at him, snuggling into his furs, exhaustion weighing on his eyelids. "I'm going to sleep now."  
"Okay," Kyungsoo whispers. He doesn't move from Jongin's side yet, and Jongin doesn't even mind anymore. He's not uncomfortable. Not anymore.  
"I heard your singing," Kyungsoo adds before Jongin can drift off. "When you signaled your location today. It was very beautiful. Like moon song." He gets up then, moving towards his own furs to settle in for the night. Jongin doesn't say 'thank you,' doesn't even acknowledge Kyungsoo's words, and he doesn't give Kyungsoo his own thoughts in return.  
But he promises himself he'll tell Kyungsoo when he wakes up how glad he is that, despite everything, the two of them have managed to move past their initial hate, how glad he is that Kyungsoo was patient with Jongin's anger.  
They're friends now, Jongin thinks. And that friendship is only going to grow their pack into a stronger one. Friends make a better team than enemies, after all.  
~*~  
Chapter 3: III  
Chapter Text  
Moon song rings in Jongin’s ears, and he stretches out on his furs, his back cracking and his shirt riding up his stomach. He's sweating, and the cool air of early spring nights is sweet relief against his skin. He sits up and strips the fabric off and over his head, tossing it behind him. He won’t be needing it tonight. It’s the full moon, and Jongin is excited to run.  
He stretches his legs, flexing his toes. It took a few moons, but his knee no longer bothers him. The run that had followed that battle had been slow, and very few wolves had wanted to join out of fear of leaving the glade or their homes unattended. This run should be fast and hard, fun and full of life.  
This run marks a sun cycle since the disaster of a run that he and Kyungsoo led after they were first named Second and Leader. Jongin hopes Kyungsoo shares his sentiments that if they're going to redeem themselves, this run is the one to do it. It's been a sun cycle of passable runs, but nothing like the runs that Minyoung and Hana used to lead.  
Jongin's finger tips itch, and he curls his fingers into his palms, the sharp edges of his wolf's claws dragging against his palms not quite hard enough to draw blood. It's been only a few months since the attack on his pack's territory by their neighbors- a few months since he and Kyungsoo really became able to talk like friends. Jongin is nothing if not stubborn, and admitting that he actually likes the equally stubborn wolf who he calls Leader in the presence of other wolves would practically kill him.  
Still, they're friends. Jongin would go so far as to say they're close. They do live together and sleep in the same room without baring their teeth. They've seen each other in heat and in tears from sheer exhaustion. They've cared for each other through wounds like Jongin's sprained knee and through sickness like Kyungsoo's flu last moon.  
If Jongin were a pack member, he'd almost think them to be the perfect couple. But Jongin isn't pack; Jongin is Jongin. He knows better.  
Jongin rolls out of his furs, landing on his hands and feet. He pushes up from the floor a few times, revels in the slight burn in his muscles. He can feel his wolf form aligned under his skin, waiting to burst forward and run. He jogs out of the cabin, running down to the glade. The pack is gathering, called out by the moon song. Some of them have already shifted, their tails wagging, and others are humming along and talking excitedly.  
One conversation grabs his attention, and he turns towards the outcropping of rock. Sitting in front of it, Jongdae and Seungwan sit in focused conversation, Jongdae's fingers trailing absently over the long scars running the length of Seungwan's torso. Jongin bounds over to them, the moon song singing energy into his blood.  
"-no way I'm staying behind this time," Seungwan is saying. "Aren't you tired of running without me?" Jongdae looks torn, glancing between Seungwan's eyes and her scars.  
"This will be your first turn since you healed," he says. "Are you sure you want to shift and run immediately after?"  
"Jongdae," Seungwan sighs. Her mind is made up; Jongin had talked with her about it yesterday while they were strolling around the fields, watching the early pre-planting work begin. This is the run Seungwan has been waiting for for moons. Her injury had taken its time healing, leaving Seungwan stuck in her wolf form for weeks. When she'd finally been allowed to shift back into her human skin, the wounds had torn again. Weeks stuck in wolf form is one thing for an alpha, but stuck in human form, according to Seungwan, is absolute torture.  
Besides, Seungwan needs to return to running quickly if she's planning to catch Jongdae later in the month when they have their official chase ceremony. Jongin's head is starting to hurt from memorizing the procession of the ceremony.  
"You really think she's going to be able to catch you if she doesn't get used to running again?" Jongin butts into their conversation. "Let her run."  
"I'm not stopping her," Jongdae protests, pouting. "I'm just... concerned."  
Seungwan scowls at him. "I've been in this body for too long," Seungwan tells him. "You try being in human form for a few months and let's see how you feel."  
Jongdae raises an eyebrow. "What do you think is going to happen once I'm pregnant?" he asks. "And I don't get any convenient medicine to cut me off from my wolf form then." Seungwan ducks her head, blushing at the mention of pups. If she were in wolf form, Jongin's pretty sure her tail would be wagging.  
"That shit is terrible pain and you know it," Seungwan argues.  
"Why are you talking about wolfsbane on the full moon?" Kyungsoo's voice interrupts, and the hair on the back of Jongin's neck stands up with the buzz of the pack Leader's presence. Seungwan shifts her gaze towards Jongdae.  
"This one brought it up," she says as she bows towards her fellow alpha. Jongin looks over at Kyungsoo as he steps in close beside him. The alpha wolf is practically glowing, the silver moonlight reflected in his irises.  
Kyungsoo grimaces. "I hope he did in sympathy for you having to take it the last two full moons," he says. Seungwan shakes her head.  
"He's not nearly that loving," she scoffs. Jongdae shouts in protest, and Seungwan sticks her tongue out at him. "Get up," she says, holding out her hand to him. "Let's go find a good place in the pack to run." Jongdae grumbles under his breath even as he readily places his hand in Seungwan's and allows himself to be pulled to his feet.  
"Wait," Kyungsoo murmurs before they can leave. Jongdae and Seungwan glance at each other. Kyungsoo's fingers curl loosely around Jongin's wrist. Jongin frowns, glancing over at him.  
"Do you still not feel well?" he asks.  
Kyungsoo shakes his head. "I feel fine," he says, waving a dismissive hand. "I wanted to ask you something." Jongin cocks his head in the direction of Seungwan and Jongdae.  
"Okay? First and Jongdae are still here though."  
"They'll wait," Kyungsoo orders subtly, heading off behind the rocks back towards their shared cabin. Jongin tries not to show his bewilderment, walking off with Kyungsoo when Seungwan dips her head in compliance with Kyungsoo's order.  
"What is it?" Jongin asks when they're out of earshot of the third member of their leading team and the rest of the pack.  
"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to run," Kyungsoo lets out in one breath. Jongin blinks at him.  
"Well," he starts slowly, not sure he understands. "This is the full moon. We're kind of supposed to lead the pack?"  
"Not like-" Kyungsoo coughs, letting go of Jongin's wrist. He picks at his fingernails; he's nervous. "I mean like... just us."  
"We can't exactly leave the pack behind..."  
"I want to run with you, Second," Kyungsoo states, cutting Jongin off. "Just us." Jongin stares.  
"But the pack-!"  
"Seungwan and Jongdae can lead the run," Kyungsoo says. "But you and I- I've been thinking about this. We've never had a good run with the pack, and I wonder if that's because we've never had a good run just you and me."  
Jongin stops himself before he can immediately protest, mulling Kyungsoo's words over in his mind. He makes a good point- an excellent point, even.  
"You..." he starts. "You're not wrong, per se, but this is twelve moons since our first run. Shouldn't it be- I don't know. This is our chance to show the pack we're really their leaders. Redemption from the first run, you know?"  
Kyungsoo nods along with Jongin's words, but he doesn't look convinced.  
"I don't want to spend any more time as that pair who leads but doesn't really lead," Jongin presses. "We've gotten along fine for awhile. I get that I was injured and then you were sick, which kind of ruined us leading together the past few moons, but we- don't you think we can... that we'll be fine?"  
"Fine is what we did last month, Jongin," Kyungsoo protests. "Fine doesn't show us off as a leadership pair." Jongin thins his mouth into a line. "Just listen," Kyungsoo asks, and continues when Jongin shows no sign of protest. "Last month we ran the pack and it wasn't any different than it was before we were friends. They're following us because they know they should, not because they want to."  
Jongin's chest feels tight at Kyungsoo's words. He can't argue with him.  
"We can run fine this month again, or we can run together now, just us, and next month-"  
"We don't know if it will work," Jongin interjects.  
"We have nothing to lose," Kyungsoo says. "We can keep doing the same thing over and over, or we can try something else and just see if something... clicks." He grabs Jongin's shoulders, staring hard into his eyes. The sky is completely dark now, the moon singing high overhead, and Jongin is getting impatient to burst into his wolf form. He can see the same wildness in Kyungsoo's eyes. "We either try this now, or we have to wait until next month," Kyungsoo presses. "And if we wait, we're pushing back our own progress."  
There's nothing Jongin can say to refute that.  
"If nothing else," Kyungsoo adds, "this is us doing something different on the anniversary of our first run." Jongin's shoulders sag, and Kyungsoo's thumb slips to slide against the scars on Jongin's shoulder that mark him as Kyungsoo's mate.  
Jongin can't help it; he bares his teeth. Kyungsoo wins; he's convinced.  
Kyungsoo grins back at him, teeth pointed and feral. "Shall we run?" he asks.  
Jongin dips his head. "Go tell Seungwan and Jongdae to run the pack, and meet me back here." Kyungsoo complies easily with Jongin's direction, running off towards where the two of them had left the soon-to-be-mated pair.  
The moon song roars in Jongin's ears in Kyungsoo's absence, and Seungwan's howl, only a tone higher than Jongin's when he sings, sets his whole body shivering with the desire to move. He keeps his eyes fixed on the point where Kyungsoo disappeared around the rocks, shifting from foot to foot, flexing his fingers.  
When Kyungsoo rounds the corner, he's already running, striding towards Jongin on human feet. Jongin takes a breath and turns, taking off across their territory with Kyungsoo hot on his heels. The chill night air cools his heated skin, and the swish of his pants interferes with the moon song in his head. He presses on faster with Kyungsoo beside him, the line of trees marking the ending of the clearing they're running through looms before them.  
Jongin glances over at Kyungsoo, and the alpha's eyes are bright yellow. Jongin takes a deep breath and throws himself into the trees on all fours, exploding from his human skin. His paws are light on the ground, his claws digging into the melted snow and mud. His change shreds his pants, but he doesn't care.  
He's unstoppable; he's driven by moonlight. Somehow, without the pack behind them, Jongin feels comfortable running beside Kyungsoo. The pressure of showing the pack perfection is gone, and suddenly it doesn't matter anymore if they're perfect or not. They're just them, Leader and Second, running across the territory they call their own.  
Jongin's heart is soaring with his running, and there's a howl bubbling in his chest. Beside him, Kyungsoo seems to be grinning. Their eyes meet, and Jongin would laugh if his vocal chords were currently capable of that. He barks instead, and he and Kyungsoo sprint from the trees into the foothills of the mountains, running alongside a brook that babbles with the same freedom that Jongin feels.  
The thunder of dozens of paws against the ground reaches Jongin's ears. The pack is close, and Seungwan and Jongdae's howls echo off the sky. Kyungsoo shoulders Jongin a bit, directing him towards a slight break in the trees. The rocks making up the top of a cave jut out over the tops of the trees, and Jongin races up the incline with Kyungsoo, claws scrabbling on loose dirt and pebbles.  
They're both panting hard when they reach the top, and Jongin settles onto his haunches across from Kyungsoo before he has a chance to think about what he's doing. Kyungsoo throws his head back and howls, voice rising above the trees to the moon itself, note low and long. Jongin's throat itches with the need to respond, so he does. He lifts his face to the sky and sings just above Kyungsoo, their voices tangled together, calling to their pack.  
So this, Jongin realizes as his body warms with the combined sound of his and Kyungsoo's singing, is running on instinct. This is what he hasn't felt since he and Kyungsoo took control of the pack, and now, here it is, running rampant in his blood.  
Kyungsoo takes a moment to breathe, and Jongin keeps singing until Kyungsoo has come back in before he takes his own breath. With no break in sound, the song continues, sung out for their pack to hear them. Over their voices, Jongin hears the howling of his pack joining in, hears them drawing nearer as their voices rise louder. He doesn't open his eyes to look around, but he can feel each pack member on the run as they arrive, led by Seungwan and Jongdae. He feels empowered with them singing behind him, situated in front of Kyungsoo just as he is.  
Excitement and pride, the overwhelming bond that speaks of home- Jongin sings of them, and he hears Kyungsoo's agreement with his sentiments in the alpha's tune.  
Jongin quiets, letting his song fade. Kyungsoo cuts out a moment later, and Jongin meets his eyes, meets the round body of the moon reflected in Kyungsoo's dilated pupils. The pack quiets behind him, and a moment passes, the stillness only broken by the shining moon song around them.  
Jongin wags his tail. He doesn't remember ever feeling this this, before in his life. The elation carries him forward to nip at Kyungsoo's shoulder and to release a playful bark. Kyungsoo startles, staring at him. Jongin dances back. He wants to play; he wants to-  
Kyungsoo dives forward, and Jongin turns tail and runs, Kyungsoo right beside him. he doesn't have to think about it, doesn't have to worry. The pack is behind them, running and barking and howling, joy and instinct sharp in the air- a signal of success and victory.  
Jongin loops around the territory, and Kyungsoo leads them from the river back to the glade, running past the majority of their pack mates' homes. The number of wolves has diminished to none by the time Jongin and Kyungsoo reach the rock outcropping at the head of the glade. All of the pack has returned to their home or gathered in small groups in the glade to play.  
Jongin and Kyungsoo press on, sprinting out of the glade and up the path to their cabin. Jongin speeds ahead, shouldering the cabin door open and tumbling inside with Kyungsoo following quickly behind. Jongin walks with his head held high into the main room, clicking of claws against the wood-plank floors becoming the padding of soles as he shifts from his wolf form. He turns to face an equally human and equally naked Kyungsoo.  
"You were right," he whispers in a rush, breathless and excited. His heart pounds. Kyungsoo' eyes are still yellow. Jongin wonder if his own eyes are still those of his wolf. "That was..." He trails out. What word exists that can explain the sheer euphoria that Jongin feels right now? What word can explain the energy buzzing under his skin and the steady he finds in grabbing Kyungsoo's arm to attempt to ground himself.  
"Everything," Kyungsoo murmurs, reverent. The tone of his voice is so low, flooding Jongin with a rush of happiness and pleasure. Kyungsoo's hand settles on Jongin's shoulder, his thumb fit up against Jongin's claim scars again. "Beautiful," Kyungsoo adds, the words more a release of breath and shaped lips than actual spoken sound. Jongin's body thrums.  
He's not sure who reaches for who, but he knows the gasp that fills the quiet cabin and cuts through the moon song echoing around them when Kyungsoo's mouth finds his collar bone just underneath his scars he left a sun cycle ago is his. Jongin grabs for Kyungsoo's shoulders, and he can't help himself. He pulls the alpha closer, seeking the warmth of Kyungsoo's skin. Kyungsoo's mouth travels up Jongin's neck, and his teeth dig painlessly into Jongin's skin, aligning along the scars perfectly. Jongin's head falls back, a sigh leaving his lips. Kyungsoo pulls him in flush against him, and Jongin slips to stand over one of Kyungsoo's thighs. The alpha rolls his hips up, and his low moan reverberates against Jongin's neck.  
He works his way up to Jongin jaw, and he's about to kiss him when Jongin jerks back. Hana's words from a sun cycle ago on the night Jongin became Second in her place ring in his head. Don't kiss him until you mean it.  
"What are we doing?" Jongin asks, half-hysterical, half-desperate.  
"I want you?" Kyungsoo breathes. He sounds confused; Jongin can relate.  
"Moon song," he offers in explanation. "And we... we were really a pair tonight. We really- the pack-" He's too breathless, body wound too tight, to really form sentences.  
"Should we stop?" Kyungsoo asks, but he does with a frown. He's still standing flush against Jongin, and Jongin can feel just how much Kyungsoo doesn't want to stop.  
"No," Jongin says. "No, I want-" He cuts out with a slight groan when Kyungsoo jerks his hips up against him, his hand sliding around his waist to press flat against his stomach.  
"Can I...?" Kyungsoo asks, tentative. Jongin dips his head and breathes against the scars he left on Kyungsoo's shoulder a sun cycle ago. Kyungsoo shivers, the hand on Jongin's back pressing into his muscles, fingertips just barely grazing the top of his ass.  
"Yes," Jongin breathes. "Let's- it's fine. I just- I’ve got to do something..." He rolls his own hips against Kyungsoo and lets the action speak for him. Kyungsoo's eyes darken, his lips parted. Jongin steps around Kyungsoo, pulling him down on top of him when Jongin tumbles back onto his pile of furs.  
"I just want to get off," Jongin confesses, and Kyungsoo growls in agreement. "Don't kiss me," Jongin warns. "Because this isn't- it's not real."  
He thinks Kyungsoo might have frowned, might have disagreed, but the alpha wolf doesn't chase his lips, just dips his mouth down to Jongin's chest, and Jongin lets himself get lost in it, tilting his body to press himself into Kyungsoo's ministrations.  
It just feels good to touch someone, and Kyungsoo is the only someone Jongin really has as an option. The alpha is warm and careful, but his every touch is on purpose. Jongin closes his eyes to simply feel. It doesn't mean anything significant, Jongin thinks, when Kyungsoo hooks Jongin's legs over his elbows and presses in slow. It doesn't mean anything when Kyungsoo can't drag his mouth away from Jongin's claim scars, leaving new marks over the old ones.  
It doesn't mean anything when Jongin's orgasm hits him hard, his hands scrabbling at Kyungsoo's back and his body arched up into Kyungsoo's hold, his mouth open in a high, breathy moan. It doesn't mean anything when Kyungsoo's hips stutter, and he comes. Jongin runs his fingers through Kyungsoo's hair to bring him down, his legs aching from how curled up he is. Kyungsoo's knot keeps them lodged together, and Jongin doesn't mind when Kyungsoo drifts off beside him on his furs, both of them still a mess of come and sweat. Jongin's eyelids droop, Kyungsoo's deep, even breathing lulling him into sleep. He turns his head, and his sleepy eyes focus on the heavy leather hanging over a doorway to another corner of the cabin.  
The moon song no longer rings around them, and Jongin doesn't feel quite so drunk on the sensation of Kyungsoo's touch and the sound of the shining moon calling him to run and to give in to instinct. This has been an unexpected end to their first sun cycle as Leader and Second, but Jongin can't call it a bad end. The pack ran well; they ran the pack well. Jongin smiles into his furs and drifts into dreaming.  
The door to the room intended for them to stay in as a mated pair stays firmly shut and undisturbed.  
~*~  
"I know what you did last night," Taehyung sing-songs. Jongin squints at him through the glare of the sun in the morning mist. They're both on their knees in the middle of the fields, covered up to their elbows in dirt as they turn the soil to prepare for planting this sun cycle's crops.  
Taehyung grins. "I know," he emphasizes, "what you did last night."  
Jongin raises an eyebrow at his cousin. "Slept?" He flicks dirt at Taehyung's face.  
Taehyung sighs, sitting back on his heels. "Okay, fine, sourpuss," he drawls. "I know what you did a few nights ago." He looks so smug and sounds even moreso. Jongin rolls his eyes.  
"I'm still gonna go with 'slept,'" Jongin says. "Or went for a late night swim?"  
"You're being purposefully obtuse," Taehyung accuses, and Jongin can't say he's right. He really has no idea what his cousin is talking about. He didn't do anything last night other than sleep as far as he remembers. Taehyung flicks dirt at Jongin in return. "I'm talking about the night of the full moon."  
"Oh," Jongin starts. "The run?" He grins, a real, genuine smile. "It went really well, right? Finally."  
"Well, yes," Taehyung agrees. "That. But also not that."  
"If I'm being obtuse, it's because you're being painfully vague," Jongin grumbles.  
"Also something else," Taehyung whispers like it's some grand secret. Apparently, it's some secret he thinks Jongin is privy to when he actually isn't. Jongin groans.  
"I'm going to go work in the opposite field from you in a second here, brat," Jongin threatens. "And leave you to do my portion of work." Taehyung pouts at him, jutting his bottom lip out. The expression lasts only for a moment before he's grinning again, his eyes bright and mischievous. He scooches in closer to Jongin, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him.  
"You," he whispers, voice kept low as if he's about to reveal some sort of grand conspiracy. Jongin appreciates his barely-there discretion in case someone else manages to overhear something no one else but Jongin has business hearing. "You really actually love Leader now, don't you?"  
Jongin coughs, choking on his spit. "What?"  
"I saw you," Taehyung tells him. "Well. Heard, anyway."  
"Heard what?" Jongin demands.  
Taehyung makes a very lewd gesture in the dirt. "You know," he says. He winks. "You know."  
"What the fuck," is the only response Jongin can manage.  
"I came back late with Hoseok," Taehyung admits. "We went on our own run, and when we walked past your cabin... I mean." He shrugs. "The sounds of sex are really unmistakable, did you know?"  
Jongin hopes the terrible blush burning his ears and cheeks can be mistaken for sunburn or something. "What the fuck," he repeats.  
"So am I right?" Taehyung presses. He claps his hands together, resulting in a little spray of dirt and mud. He leans forward excitedly towards Jongin. "Do you love him? I mean, it has been a whole sun cycle since you two met, and you do spend almost all of your time with him, so..."  
"No!" Jongin blurts out far too loudly, sitting up straight, putting space between himself and his over eager cousin. Some curious eyes shift over to their conversation, and Jongin coughs awkwardly to clear his throat, crouching back down to bury his hands in the dirt. "No," he repeats loud enough only for Taehyung to hear. "We don't love each other. Respect, maybe. Friendship, definitely."  
"You... respect him?" Taehyung snorts, his eyebrows raising. "Okay. Respect and sex. That sounds... dull."  
"It-" Jongin grits his teeth, swallowing. "It was the heat of the moment," he admits. "Our first successful run. We didn't- I mean. We both knew what we were doing, and- and it's not really something you need to concern yourself with anyway!" He ends his words with a hiss, and Taehyung recoils.  
"You're my cousin," he argues. "And Second. You're definitely someone I need to concern myself with."  
"Then I concern myself with you," Jongin retorts. "What were you doing out with an alpha?" Taehyung colors, but he doesn't look ashamed.  
"He wanted to run with me," he answers defensively. His smile turns soft and affectionate, his eyes downcast. His gaze is turned towards the ground, but Jongin doubts that's what he's seeing. "Hoseok and I..." Taehyung trails out. "I- I think he's going to ask if he can chase me."  
"Oh," Jongin murmurs. His throat feels tight. "Isn't that kind of fast?"  
Taehyung cackles. "Second. It's been a whole sun cycle. I think we'd have given up by now if it wasn't going to work."  
"I see." Jongin speaks mostly just to say something to distract himself from the burning jealousy in his throat. He coughs. "Well, there's a chase ceremony in the middle of this month if you- if he does."  
Taehyung smiles hugely, his mouth forming the square shape that runs dominant in their family. "I hope he does," Taehyung says. "I want him to."  
"I'm happy for you," Jongin says. He sighs. "That's really... great. That's what I wanted, so I'm happy you get to have-"  
"Second," Taehyung interrupts. "I know you really-" He stops himself. "I don't know what to tell you." Jongin looks at him, and for once he doesn't hold his shoulders stiff and strong. This is Taehyung who knows him possibly better than Jongin knows himself. He has nothing to hide.  
"I'll never have that," Jongin sighs. "Someone to love because I choose to." He gestures to his shoulder where the imprint of Kyungsoo's teeth is scarred over. The marks are still a little too bright after the full moon, and Jongin keeps his shirt on to cover them. Still, everyone knows where his mark sits: in the same place as Kyungsoo's.  
"Second," Taehyung whispers quietly. The warning is clear in his tone. "It's been a whole sun cycle. Aren't you tired of this?"  
"Of the truth?" Jongin offers. It is true: no matter how well he and Kyungsoo are doing leading the pack, Jongin's original bedtime story dreams still hold a prominent place in his heart. He longs for it even if he really cannot act upon it at all.  
"Of being stubborn," Taehyung corrects. "You can choose to love Leader, if you want to. Love takes time; you know that. Grandma told you the same stories she told me."  
"Choosing to love someone out of necessity-"  
"You're mated to him out of necessity," Taehyung hisses. His eyes flash. "But loving Leader... that's up to you." He lightens up then, rolling his shoulders back. "After all, it's likely that Leader loves you already."  
Jongin scoffs and then scoffs again. "Yeah, okay," he laughs. "Sure. Sex means love. Right. Of course."  
"That's not what I'm saying," Taehyung sighs.  
"No. What you're saying is random things you've made up," Jongin asserts. "Don't tell me what you think or wish I felt for Leader, and don't make up what Leader feels for me." Jongin pushes himself to his feet, brushing his dirt-stained hands off on his pants. Taehyung stares at him without regret or remorse, his eyes fixed on Jongin's stomach.  
"I really don't think I am," he murmurs almost too softly for Jongin to catch. Jongin uses that as his excuse to ignore his cousin, stepping over to the next row and busying himself with breaking apart the hard soil to prepare it for planting. Taehyung doesn't say anything else to Jongin as they work, and Jongin almost feels like he should apologize.  
But for all his wisdom, Taehyung cannot change Jongin's place as Second, and he can't clear his skin of the marks that claim him to be mated. Jongin forces himself to think about something else, singing his grandmother's favorite hymn under his breath. Taehyung joins his humming, and Jongin loses himself in the mindlessness of repetitive, backbreaking work.  
His uncle's howl at high noon breaks him from his concentration, and Jongin sighs with relief when he's able to straighten his back. He feels much calmer. Taehyung jerks up with a wince.  
"Dad," he whines, "he's so loud."  
"You're really the mouse calling the bunny small," Jongin informs him. Taehyung sticks his tongue out.  
"Sourpuss," Taehyung reiterates from earlier, getting to his feet. "I'm hungry."  
"Same," Jongin murmurs. "Kind of want to just go show up at my parents' house and eat there. Ma wasn't here today anyway. I should go see her."  
Taehyung nods, looking horribly excited. "Are you going to bring Leader with you to tell Aunt and Uncle?"  
Jongin blinks. "Tell them what, exactly?"  
Taehyung groans loudly. "Seriously! What is it with you and being so obtuse today?"  
"What's with you and being insulting?" Jongin retorts.  
"You are telling them tonight, right?" Taehyung asks. He claps his hands together.  
Jongin stops walking and grabs Taehyung's elbow, forcing his cousin to look at him. "Taehyung. Seriously. What are you talking about?"  
"Your pregnancy?" he whispers helpfully with the most expectant look on his face. Jongin's blood runs cold.  
"My what?" he hisses, recoiling.  
"Are you trying to keep it secret?"  
"I'm not pregnant," Jongin tells him, pressing his hands to his stomach.  
Taehyung scoffs at him. "Come on, Second. I've known you for the grand approximation of forever. I know your scent, and-" He sniffs the air. "That's not quite your scent. You can't hide something like that from me." He tilts his head to the side. "Unless you're sick?"  
"I-" Jongin tries, but he has nothing to say. He could protest again, but really, what would that do? He swallows. "I'm-"  
"You didn't know?" Taehyung gasps, eyes widening. "Oh. Oh, shit." He scratches the back of his neck. "That's why- I mean. That's why I was asking about you and... but you didn't even know." Jongin's cousin tilts his face up towards the sky.  
"I have to go," Jongin says, already walking away from Taehyung.  
"Second-" Taehyung starts.  
"See you later," Jongin breathes out in a rush, and then he turns and sprints across the fields. His heart is beating so hard that his chest aches, but he keeps running until he's crashed through the entrance to the medicine and nearly tackled Hyejin to the ground.  
"Second?" the priestess asks. Jongin stares at her, and he hopes the confusion and uncertainty bordering on slight panic isn't too obvious on his face. "Is everything alright?"  
Jongin opens his mouth to answer, but he can't. He doesn't know the answer to something as simple as 'is everything alright?' Hyejin frowns, reaching out for him, and her fingers curls around the wrist of the hand Jongin has pressed to his stomach. She looks at his hand and then at him, breathing in. Hyejin breaks into a slow smile.  
"Second," she starts, gripping his wrist a little tighter. "Are you-?"  
"I don't know," Jongin answers, a little frantic. "I don't know, and I need to know if my cousin is right."  
"Okay," Hyejin says. "Come with me." She beckons Jongin further into the medicine hut, leading him into one of the bays lined with fur pallets. There aren't any patients other than an ancient wolf sleeping near the fire lit in the middle of the room. The air is stifling, and Jongin can literally feel the weight of it crushing him as the head priestess stands from her place next to the sleeping elderly wolf, adjusting her scarf over her head. She's covering her hair today, but some of her long silver locks have fallen out, draping around her shoulders.  
"Head priestess!" Hyejin calls, leaning backwards to stick her head into one of the bays. "Can you come over here, please?"  
The head priestess walks over slowly, eyeing Jongin up and down with a vague look of bemusement. Jongin snarls internally. He knows he looks like a panicked mess; she doesn't have to gloat about it.  
"Second," the head priestess murmurs, dipping her head.  
"Second wants to know-" Hyejin starts, but the head priestess holds up a hand to stop her priestess from talking. She breathes in, closing her eyes. When she opens them again, the realization dawning on her face is far more confirmation than Jongin needs even before she speaks.  
"So our Second is pregnant," she says more to Hyejin than to Jongin. The priestess nods.  
"Yes," Hyejin says. "He thought so, but he wanted to check. And I'm not very good yet as distinguishing the scent, so I had to ask." She smiles brightly, and the head priestess nods to her. Her expression is the most fond look Jongin has ever seen on her face for a brief moment. His skin crawls when that expression returns to her usual lack of emotion, her eyes settling on Jongin. Her too-smooth voice trails down his spine. "The moon goddess has blessed you."  
Jongin's shoulders slump. "I don't know-" he starts, but the head priestess tuts.  
"You know how, Second," she says. Jongin frowns. He knows he knows how this happened. That wasn't what he was about to say. "And I'm assuming that after whatever night this happened on, you haven't felt the urge to shift?"  
Jongin's forehead creases. "I've been working in the fields," he says. "I don't have a reason to shift." But as he thinks back, he remembers telling Kyungsoo that he didn't want to patrol, his reason being 'I just don't feel like it.'  
Oh.  
"Good," the head priestess says. "Keep doing that. You know what happens if you choose to shift." Jongin nods. He does know. That's what he's afraid of.  
"Priestess," the head priestess orders, "Fetch Second some tea for the mornings to help with any nausea, and make sure he doesn't pass out in our front entrance." Jongin startles. Just how light-headed he feels and how badly he's swaying had completely escaped his notice until the head priestess had spoken. He feels like he's in a trance as he accepts the tea leaves from Hyejin and is ushered from the medicine hut. He stumbles back towards the cabin, his head still spinning with the head priestess' stern warning not to change forms until the baby is born.  
The baby.  
The baby. A pup.  
He's pregnant. Jongin is pregnant with Kyungsoo's pup. He stops walking, pressing a hand to his stomach. This is real; this is happening.  
Jongin can't decide if bouncing in excitement or crying in fear is a more appropriate response.  
"Are you not going to go in?" speaks from behind Jongin, and he jumps, whirling around to face Kyungsoo. He hadn't even noticed he'd made it back to the cabin, standing only a few paces from the front door. Kyungsoo's forehead wrinkles, his eyebrows creased as he takes in Jongin's appearance.  
"I-" Jongin tries. He coughs. "Sorry."  
Kyungsoo's lips turn down into a concerned frown. "Why are you apologizing?"  
Jongin frowns too. "I don't-" He clears his throat. "I don't know?"  
"Okay," Kyungsoo says. "So...does that mean you're going inside?"  
"Umm, yeah," Jongin manages. "Yeah. I guess so."  
"Okay then." Kyungsoo gestures towards the door. "Go ahead."  
"Right." Jongin really can't breathe well, can't walk straight. Can't even think. The pup, the pup, the pup. The room won't stop spinning; the wood planks that make up the floor are rushing in to meet him.  
"Jongin!" Warm arms wrap around Jongin, and he's pressed into Kyungsoo's chest before he realizes he'd just fallen over. He curls his fingers around Kyungsoo's bicep, squeezing to ground himself. "Breathe," Kyungsoo urges. His fingertips are warm on the back of Jongin's neck, massaging the skin there gently. "Are you sick?"  
"No," Jongin rasps. He laughs dryly at himself. That was the least convincing answer he could have mustered.  
Kyungsoo sighs, tucking Jongin more securely against him and hooking his arm under Jongin's knees. He hoists him up, and Jongin lets his head drop against Kyungsoo's shoulder, his nose bumping against Kyungsoo's claim marks. Kyungsoo sets him down gently, and he's gone for only a moment before he's back, pressing a small bowl of water into Jongin's hands.  
"Drink," he orders. He brushes Jongin's hair off his face, and Jongin dimly registers that he should ask his mother to cut it for him when he goes home to tell her about the pup.  
The pup.  
Jongin chokes, sputtering water and sitting upright.  
"Fuck," Kyungsoo mutters, grabbing the bowl from Jongin. He rubs circles into Jongin's back, and somehow, the action centers him, helps Jongin regain his focus. When Kyungsoo asks him what the hell is wrong with him, Jongin actually hears and comprehends.  
Fear wraps its cold fingers around Jongin's throat. He doesn't know how to say this; he should have asked someone for advice.  
"I-" he starts. He stops.  
"You...?" Kyungsoo prompts. Jongin swallows.  
"Do you... remember the full moon?" he asks. Kyungsoo's concerned expression molds into one of confusion.  
"The run? Of course I remember that."  
Jongin shakes his head. "Not the run," he says. "After."  
Kyungsoo lips show just the ghost of a smile. "Of course I remember that too."  
"Right," Jongin says. "We fucked."  
"Yeah," Kyungsoo agrees. "We did."  
"No," Jongin tells him with feeling. "We fucked." He grabs Kyungsoo's hand, squeezing it hard as he brings his fingers underneath the hem of his shirt. He presses Kyungsoo's hand flat against his lower stomach. "You know?"  
"So..." Kyungsoo pulls his hand away. He breathes. "You..." Jongin waits; Kyungsoo will get it. He has to. Jongin isn't sure he can really say he's with child out loud.  
"I see," Kyungsoo says. His tone is unreadable; Jongin feels like whining. "I see," he repeats.  
Jongin feels like he can't breathe again. "I didn't mean to-"  
"Stop," Kyungsoo says. "Don't speak for a moment." Jongin's jaw snaps shut. He curls his hands into fists, trying to contain himself from shaking, but begging Kyungsoo just say something. The silence, the quiet, the waiting- it's all killing him.  
Jongin forces himself to breathe, watching Kyungsoo watch him.  
"You're pregnant," Kyungsoo says after a long pause, "with my pup." He inhales sharply. "You're pregnant.  
Jongin nods. "Yes," he whispers. "Yeah."  
"Okay," Kyungsoo murmurs, and his face slowly relaxes, the corners of his mouth turning up until he's smiling widely. "Okay," he says. "Okay."  
"Is that...all you're going to say?" Jongin hedges. "This isn't like- I mean. This is kind of a big deal."  
Kyungsoo's smile falls from his face much faster than it originally got there. "Oh," he says. "Do you not want to-"  
"No!" Jongin blurts out, his heart thudding in his chest at the mere thought of ending his pregnancy. "No, I- I was just worried that you-" He cuts himself off, swallowing. He shakes his head. He can't say it; he doesn't think he could accept it if Kyungsoo were to not want the child.  
"That I don't want it?" Kyungsoo inquires. Jongin nods, and Kyungsoo grabs his hands, curling both of them between his own. "Jongin, I told you want a family. I told you almost a sun cycle ago." He glances down, and Jongin can't be positive, but he thinks Kyungsoo's focus might be entirely on his stomach. "A family..." Kyungsoo exhales. "I haven't had one in so long."  
"So you... you do want to-?"  
"Yes," Kyungsoo confirms, and his smile is back, wide and real and genuine. "Yes, Jongin. I do. So much."  
"Oh," Jongin says. Relief floods him.  
"But," Kyungsoo continues. "If you don't... if you... you can change right now, and all of this will be- it won't-" He stops, taking a deep breath. "If you want to change, Jongin," he says, meeting Jongin's eyes. The rejection of his own words is clear on his face, but he's still offering Jongin the choice. Jongin's chest doesn't feel quite so crushed anymore. "If you really don't want to do this, then you don't have to. You can change right now. I won't stop you."  
Jongin twists his hands in Kyungsoo's grip, holding the alpha wolf's wrists instead. "I want to do this," he says. "Call it omega instinct or whatever, but I- I want to."  
"Okay," Kyungsoo says, and he's still smiling. He laughs, and Jongin finds it within himself to turn his own mouth into a smile through the fear and uncertainty. Kyungsoo grabs Jongin into a hug, and Jongin allows it, his forehead against Kyungsoo's neck. "We're going to be parents," Kyungsoo murmurs, voice ringing with awe. "That's amazing."  
"Speaking of," Jongin begins, drawing back from Kyungsoo's hold. "Will you come with me? To tell my parents?" He glances down at where Kyungsoo's knees are showing through the worn fabric of his pants. "They would want to know. And you're the father, so."  
Kyungsoo's reaches up, tucking his fingers under Jongin's chin and forcing him to look at him. "Of course," he agrees. He's so excited, and it makes excitement thrum under Jongin's skin too. "We're in this together, you know?"  
Jongin nods, pressing his hand over his stomach. It's not the loving household he'd told Kyungsoo he wants for his pups on the same day that Kyungsoo told him how much he wants a family, but it's not a house of hate. It's a house of trust that they're working on building together.  
Together. Their pup.  
~*~  
"Fuck," Jongin whispers, staring at his parents' home. He takes a step back, slipping back into the shadows of the trees. Kyungsoo grabs his elbow.  
"Are you alright?" His grip is gentle but firm.  
Jongin looks at him. "I'm not sure," he says. "I've never had to tell my parents they're going to be grandparents before. I'm fresh out of experience." Kyungsoo's fingers tap against the inside of Jongin's arm as he hums in amusement.  
"Your snark tells me you're fine," Kyungsoo tells him. "Just nervous. Do you think they won't react well?"  
Jongin exhales a quiet, dry laugh. He remembers his mother's word to him the day after the first failed run he and Kyungsoo had led. "Don't wait too long," she'd requested. Jongin swallows.  
"Ma will be pleased," he says. "Pops might complain that he's not old enough. Grandma will say something about the moon goddess, probably." He shrugs.  
Kyungsoo's hand leaves his elbow to clasp the back of his neck, rubbing gently into the muscles there. Jongin shifts his gaze over to him, reaching back to grab Kyungsoo's hand. He squeezes his hand once and lets him go.  
"If you don't want to tell them yet..." Kyungsoo whispers.  
"I'm not even scared of their reaction," Jongin says. "It's just that saying I'm- saying it to someone else will make it, I don't know, real somehow." His hands are shaking. Kyungsoo takes his fingers between his own again.  
"Let's go then," Kyungsoo urges. Jongin nods and takes that first step out of the trees. He pushes the door open, pulling Kyungsoo in behind him.  
"Hello?" Jongin calls out. "Ma? Pops?"  
"They're out back," answers his grandmother's voice, and Jongin's feet turn towards the back corner of the common space in his parents' home. "Come greet your grandmother." Jongin lets go of Kyungsoo, crossing over to his grandmother's favorite pallet of furs and settling on his knees in front of her.  
"Hi, Grandma," Jongin says. His grandmother reaches out and pushes his hair out of his face.  
"Second," she says. "You need your hair cut. You look unruly."  
Jongin laughs. "Nice to see you too," he says. His grandmother's focus shifts to Kyungsoo, and she dips her head.  
"Leader," she greets. "You'll have to forgive these old bones for not bowing properly."  
"You don't have to bow to me," Kyungsoo tells her. "You've seen more leaders than sun cycles that I've been one." Jongin's grandmother hums, her eyes bright as she looks between Kyungsoo and Jongin.  
"Is it good news that brings you here?" she asks, focus on Kyungsoo. She pats Jongin's hand to tell him to speak.  
"You already know," Jongin says. "I bet." His grandmother's smile is secretive.  
"I do," she says. "So you should feel safe to say it."  
Kyungsoo's eyebrows furrow. "How...?" he asks. Jongin's grandmother laughs behind her hand.  
"When you've lived as long as I have, you learn the smell of milk on an omega before even the omega himself notices," she answers, thumb brushing over Jongin's knuckles. "It's a very distinct scent. Blessings should not go unnoticed."  
"Yes," Kyungsoo agrees.  
Jongin's grandmother's smile is gentle and encouraging. "Go on, Second," she urges. "Tell me your news."  
Jongin takes a deep breath. His tongue feels too large for his mouth, his stomach a house of butterflies. "I'm-" he starts.  
"My son is home!" booms through the house, and Jongin closes his eyes, sighing at his father's sudden appearance. Kyungsoo turns around, the hair on the back of his neck raised. Jongin stands and places a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "Byulhee!" Sungkeun yells. "Get in here and hug your pup!"  
"You're so loud today," Byulhee whines, stepping into the house. Her gaze lands on Jongin, and then it's her who's squealing. "Second!" she shouts, making to hurry over to him when she sees Kyungsoo standing beside him. She quiets immediately. "Leader," she greets, bowing.  
"Leader," Sungkeun echoes next to her, bowing too. Jongin's eye twitches. Kyungsoo is not that great, he wants to say.  
"An honor to have you in our home," Sungkeun says.  
"Truly," Byulhee agrees. She steps forward, and Jongin steps out to greet her, holding his arms out.  
"Ma, it's okay," he says, and his mother careens into him, wrapping her arms tight around him. Jongin pats her back and kisses her cheek.  
"I missed you, Second," his mother says. "You've been away from this house for far too long."  
"You see me on the fields, Ma," Jongin mutters. His mother draws back and smacks his shoulder. Jongin glares back at Kyungsoo when he hears the alpha try to disguise his laugh as a cough.  
"It's not the same," his mother says. "It's too quiet without you running around here with Taehyung."  
"Taehyung is..." Jongin begins, unsure how to say his cousin has been out lately, running patrol and hunting with Hoseok.  
"Suitably distracted," his grandmother fills in for him. Jongin nods.  
"Yeah." He reaches back and grabs Kyungsoo's wrist, pulling him up to stand next to him. "Leader," he says. "This is my father, Sungkeun." This time, it's Kyungsoo who bows to them.  
"It's an honor," he says, returning the words Jongin's father had spoken. “And a pleasure to see my mother-in-moon again.” He dips his head again to Byulhee. Jongin’s parents grin widely, and Jongin doesn't miss the way his mother looks between Kyungsoo and himself. She smiles after a moment, and Jongin internally relaxes. If he and Kyungsoo can fool even his mother into thinking they're a good couple, then they're doing well in their leading.  
Sungkeun clears his throat. "Well, we were just about to roast a deer, but since Leader is here, we can have a more traditional meal if you like?" He gestures towards the back of the house and looks to Kyungsoo for approval. Kyungsoo simply glances at Jongin. Now, seems to be what his expression is trying to say.  
"A-actually, Pa," Jongin stutters. "I can't."  
His father stares. "But you love venison?"  
"Yeah," Jongin says. Kyungsoo nudges him. "But I- I'm- I can't right now." He swallows. "Eat a traditional meal, I mean."  
"Why not?" Sungkeun demands, and Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's wrist for support.  
"Well, I'm-"  
"Oh, sweet goddess," Byulhee breathes. She's grinning, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She presses a hand to her heart. She grabs her mate's arm. "Sungkeun, our son is pregnant." She covers her mouth, and Jongin can see happy tears shining in her eyes.  
Reality hits Jongin like a fallen tree, and he locks his knees to keep himself upright. "Yes," he confirms. "I'm... yes. You're right. I'm pregnant." Kyungsoo pulls his wrist from Jongin's grasp and slides his arm around his waist instead, and Jongin is grateful for it. His heart pounds in his chest, and he looks over to see the upward quirk of Kyungsoo's lips.  
"That wasn't so bad," Kyungsoo murmurs too low for anyone but Jongin to hear, and with the way his mother is still excitedly cheering, he's not sure such secretive tones are necessary.  
"No," Jongin agrees. "Still not easy, but not bad."  
“We have to celebrate!” Byulhee declares. She tugs on Sungkeun’s arm. "Come outside," she urges him. "Let's roast this deer."  
"Second," Jongin's grandmother says when they're gone. "Will you help me up?" Jongin turns immediately, and Kyungsoo is right beside him. Together, they lift Jongin's grandmother to her feet, and the old wolf brushes off her dress.  
"I'm going to take a walk before dinner," she announces. She looks to Kyungsoo. "Leader, would you join me? Second should spend some time alone with my daughter and her mate."  
"Grandma," Jongin whines. His grandmother sniffs at him.  
"Go be with your parents," she tells him. "They've missed having you around here so much."  
"I will accompany you," Kyungsoo agrees, and he offers his arm to Jongin's grandmother. She takes it and pats his elbow.  
"A good boy," she praises. "Come now. We have much to discuss if we really want to work up an appetite for Byulhee and Sungkeun's hard work.” She and Kyungsoo disappear out the door together, and Jongin glances around the common room of the home he was raised in.  
He wonders if he'll ever look at the cabin he and Kyungsoo share and think of it as home too.  
Jongin sighs and moves out back to sit with his parents as they prepare the deer for roasting. They chatter about anything and everything that's happened since over a sun cycle ago, and Jongin has to laugh and interject when his father forgets that it was Jongin who fixed the roof too long ago.  
He participates in the conversation as best he can until there is nothing else to say and the deer is nearly all ready to be cooked over the hot flames dancing in their fire pit.  
The soft murmur of voices can only barely be distinguished over the crackling of the fire, but Jongin hears it. Leaving his parents to the cooking, he gets up, wiping his hands off on the grass and walking as quietly as possible in the direction of his grandmother's voice.  
He finds them only just barely hidden in a dense area of the woods, and Jongin ducks behind a tree downwind from them, listening to his grandmother tell Kyungsoo a story. Jongin closes his eyes. This is one of his favorites if not his ultimate favorite. He leans his head back against the trunk of the tree to listen to the end of the tale, his grandmother's voice swooping and falling with the story, speaking faster the more the story progresses.  
"...so the alpha prince fought through an entire pack, not stopping until every single one of them who had stolen his love away lay dead, the brush and bramble surrounding their camp laid to ruin," his grandmother is saying. "The prince rushed into the sun priestess’ den to find his love there, sleeping. He'd never looked more beautiful, the prince thought, and he kissed his omega awake with true love's first kiss."  
"And then?" Kyungsoo asks.  
“The omega prince opens his eyes to his handsome alpha, and he knew that we was freed from his curse of sleep, that the sun priestess was defeated, and that he could finally be with his alpha forever. There is feasting and celebration when they return to their pack, and their lives are happy for the rest of their days," his grandmother finishes the tale. "Happily, ever after." Kyungsoo is quiet, his face concentrated in deep thought.  
"Second always loved stories," his grandmother goes on. "Still does, I wager. I told him stories every night when he was a pup. He had all these ideals about what his alpha would be-"  
"I know," Kyungsoo interrupts. He ducks his head, his ears red. "Sorry for my interruption." Jongin's grandmother reaches out and holds his shoulders.  
"I'm sure you don't want to hear it," she says. "But you must understand that Second is perfect for the position in every way except for his desire for a real, loving mate."  
"That's not me," Kyungsoo says. Jongin's grandmother shakes her head.  
"You do love him," his grandmother states, and her tone leaves no room for argument. Jongin steps back; his heart is in his throat. Jongin closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see Kyungsoo's response, but that doesn’t stop him from hearing it, doesn’t stop the words from embedding themselves in Jongin’s mind, spinning there and making him dizzy. "Be patient with him," Jongin's grandmother continues. "He needs time. You both do."  
Jongin swallows through the tightness in his throat, turning around and hurrying as quietly as he can back towards where his parents are busily roasting pieces of venison they've pulled from the deer's bones.  
"You have to eat well," his mother urges, handing him a piece. "For the pup." Jongin takes the meat obediently, but can't taste the flavor around the sour disbelief in his mouth.  
He'd told Kyungsoo that it wasn't real on the night of the full moon. Horror burns his lungs as he realizes that for Kyungsoo it might have been. He presses his hand to his stomach and wishes fervently that Kyungsoo had denied his grandmother's claims.  
When Kyungsoo and his grandmother return to eat, Jongin doesn't say anything to them. He zones out, letting his mother lead conversation and ramble to him about what pregnancy is like while he pointedly ignores Kyungsoo's glances in his direction. He hears his grandmother sigh, but he refuses to acknowledge it.  
"Your grandma told me a lot of things on our walk," Kyungsoo murmurs hesitantly as they walk back towards their shared cabin.  
Jongin just gives a noncommittal hum. Kyungsoo sighs.  
"Jongin," he says, turning himself so that he stands in front of Jongin, forcing him to pay attention. "I know I'm not any sort of alpha charming-"  
Jongin can't help himself: he bursts into laughter. "Oh, trust me, Kyungsoo," he laughs. "I know."  
"But," Kyungsoo presses on. "I will be a good alpha to you. I'll become such a good leader for this pack and an even better alpha for you. I’ll become the alpha you want to raise your pups with. I promise." Jongin watches him, not saying anything in response. He doesn't know what to say: does Kyungsoo love him or does he not? Are they a team or are they the couple from his grandmother's stories who end in tragedy and strife?  
"Let's just go to the cabin," Jongin says. "I'm tired."  
Kyungsoo's shoulders looks so small. "Okay," he says. He doesn't try to take Jongin's hand.  
”Yes,” Kyungsoo had said. “I do love him.”  
Jongin feels sick.  
~*~  
"At least it's warmer this time around," Kyungsoo muses, standing beside Jongin in front of the giant bonfire crackling behind them. "Unlike the winter ceremony."  
"It could be just as cold," Jongin returns. With the fire at his back and the ceremonial white fur thrown over his shoulders again and the warm spring air, he's sweating. "It just so happens that they chose late spring for the Chase."  
Kyungsoo shifts uncomfortably under his own fur cloak. "Your best friend isn't here this time, though," he argues. "So it's not as bad."  
Jongin furrows his eyebrows, jerking his chin in Jongdae's direction. "He's right there?" The omega stands with his family, the navy robe draped around him showing off most of his chest. He's not wearing anything underneath, prepared to change and run off in the chase as soon as Jongin allows it.  
Jongin glances down at his fully dressed self and swallows back the jealousy burning his throat.  
"I meant the head priestess," Kyungsoo amends. "She doesn't lead this ceremony. You do. I don't think she's even here to witness it." That's somehow soothing: the absence of the head priestess means Jongin won't be judged if he messes up a few words of the chase rites. The priests, however, are not absent. They line the edges of the glade, their drums hung around their necks.  
"Thank fuck," Jongin whispers to himself. Kyungsoo snorts in agreement next to him. "I can't stand her."  
"After what she asked of you that morning-" Kyungsoo coughs. "Anyway. Neither can I." Jongin glances away. He remembers that; he'll always remember Kyungsoo asserting himself as Leader over the head priestess and defending him from absolute humiliation with crystal clarity.  
Kyungsoo coughs again, and Jongin shifts under his furs, trying to cool off. The fire keeps crackling away, mocking his discomfort.  
"Is your cousin here yet?" Kyungsoo asks. Jongin glances around. He doesn't see Taehyung, but he can see Taehyung's fathers and his own parents with his grandmother chattering excitedly.  
"My family is," Jongin answers. "So Taehyung is probably not far behind." He frowns. "I hope so, anyway. Because I'm going to sweat through this fur." Kyungsoo nods in empathetic agreement. "First and Hoseok are both ready?" he questions Kyungsoo, and the alpha nods.  
"Yes. They're waiting behind the rocks with their offerings for whenever you call," he says. "And I think most of the pack is here, so whenever Taehyung shows up..."  
"I'll start as soon as I see him," Jongin promises. He runs through the words he's slowly learned over the past few days in preparation for sending off two omegas to be chased. As Second, as the highest ranked omega in the pack, it's him who gives permission for an omega to be chased. He bites his lip to hide his smile at the way Hoseok had asked him for permission to chase Taehyung.  
"Isn't it weird that I have to ask you and not his parents? But, I mean, I don't really care who I have to ask, I'll ask the moon goddess herself as long as she says 'yes.'" He remembers the nervous shaking of Hoseok's knee, and he hadn't been able to say ‘no.’ Besides, Taehyung would skin him alive if he'd turned down Hoseok's request.  
He wonders if, in another life, an alpha of Jongin's choosing would have gone to his Second to nervously and adamantly ask for permission to chase Jongin.  
"He's here," Kyungsoo whispers, drawing Jongin's attention to his cousin, dressed in the same navy robe that Jongdae is wearing, walking up to his family to kiss his grandmother's cheek. Kyungsoo takes a step back, giving Jongin all control over the night's proceedings.  
Jongin clears his throat.  
"The moon is high," he declares, and the pack turns in tandem to look at him. "Let us begin. Taehyung and Jongdae, come stand here with me." The pack roars with cheers as Jongdae and Taehyung turns to hug their families and make to walk towards Jongin. They clasp hands with their friends as they pass, and Jimin and Jeongguk manage to simultaneously tackle Taehyung to the ground. Jongdae nearly falls over when Seulgi claps him on the back, and the cheering only grows louder.  
Both of them are smiling widely when they make it to the front of the pack, standing in front of Jongin. They glow in the firelight in their happiness, the breeze stirring their robes around them.  
Jongin holds up his hands, and silence descends.  
"Two wolves have asked me if they can chase these two omegas, and I have given them permission," Jongin recites. "If they please you," he continues, speaking to Jongdae and Taehyung, then we will proceed." He turns around, speaking towards where Hoseok and Seungwan are waiting. "Hoseok! First! Come out!"  
Two wolves sprint forward, dragging fresh kill between their teeth. Seungwan bulls a buck behind her, and Hoseok's eagle leaves red stains on the grass. The pack cheers again, and Jongin doesn't miss the way Taehyung adjusts his stance, angling himself towards Hoseok.  
"Present your offering to your chosen mate," Jongin directs Hoseok and Seungwan. He turns around to face Jongdae and Taehyung. "If you accept the offering of your chosen mate, offer it to the moon goddess so that she may bless your union." Jongin steps aside then, and Kyungsoo moves with him, allowing Taehyung and Jongdae to approach the alpha of their choice. Neither of them even bother to pretend to examine their alphas' offerings, dragging the kills to the fire immediately and throwing them in.  
"I accept," Taehyung announces as the flames roar higher. Jongdae echoes him, his eyes caught solely on Seungwan's wolf form. The bonfire seems to reach all the way to the sky, tickling the partially hidden face of the moon.  
The priests lining the edges of the glade beat the first stroke on their drums, and two priestesses walk up to the omegas, handing them navy robes which they in turn present to Seungwan and Hoseok. The two alphas shift back into their human bodies, pulling the robes around themselves so that all four of the wolves participating in the chase tonight are dressed in the color of night. Jongin steps front and center again.  
"These omegas have accepted the offerings of their chosen mates," he announces. "Now we eat and dance and celebrate together."  
The priests beat their drums again, and the priestesses bring out platters of food that the pack has worked hard to gather over the past week. Jongin watches Hoseok offer Taehyung his hand, and the two of them whirl around the fire together, dancing with the drum beats. Jongdae's smile is so wide Jongin fears his face may split into two pieces.  
"Want to eat?" Kyungsoo asks quietly, and Jongin shakes his head.  
"There will be leftovers," he says. "I'll eat at the cabin later." Kyungsoo frowns, but he doesn't argue.  
"I'll eat with you then," he offers. Jongin just shrugs.  
"If you want," he says.  
"I'm sweating," Kyungsoo says abruptly, tugging on his ceremonial furs. "Are you still?"  
"Yes," Jongin sighs. "But there's a little more celebrating to go before I can send them off on the chase and-" He pauses, looking over at Kyungsoo. "I won't be able to howl."  
Kyungsoo cocks his head to the side. "What?"  
"I can't shift," Jongin says. "So I can't howl to send them off." Kyungsoo looks down at Jongin stomach and then back up at his face.  
"I'll howl," he offers, hand on Jongin's shoulder. Jongin shrugs his hand away, and Kyungsoo's face collapses into a moment of absolute misery before he rearranges his expression into interest at the celebration going on around them. Jongin forces the corners of his mouth up like he hadn't just watches Kyungsoo's whole demeanor fall, guilt stirring his stomach.  
"It's too hot for touching," Jongin tries. Kyungsoo just hums. Despite the noise of the pack dancing and cheering and eating, it's terribly silent between Jongin and Kyungsoo. They stay like that, watching the celebrating of their pack without taking part until the moon is as high as it will reach in the sky and Jongin feet are beginning to ache from standing still for so long.  
"I'm going to go talk to Taehyung," Jongin mumbles. "Congratulate him since he's my cousin and all, you know?" He doesn't wait for Kyungsoo's response, walking off into the crowd of gathered wolves. He grabs Taehyung from a conversation with his parents, apologizing to his uncles. Taehyung won't stop moving even in Jongin's hold. He can practically feel Taehyung's skin vibrating under his touch.  
"You're fidgeting a lot," Jongin comments as casually as he can. Taehyung jolts in what looks like embarrassment, tearing his eyes away from Hoseok where the alpha is dancing with his sister.  
"Sorry, Second," Taehyung murmurs. "It's just--" He gestures vaguely in Hoseok's direction. He doesn't finish his sentence, and Jongin is grateful for it. This is what he wanted for himself; Taehyung knows it. Jongin clears his throat.  
"You want him," Jongin says. Taehyung nods, and Jongin looks up at the moon. The middle of the night has to be close to passing by now. "I guess Leader and I can send you off then."  
Taehyung breaks into a grin, grabbing for Jongin's hand. "Right now?" he asks.  
Jongin laughs this time because it's easier to laugh away the pain than to sit in his own jealousy. "Yes," he confirms. "Right now." Taehyung squeezes his hand, and Jongin reaches out to ruffle his cousin's hair before he wanders back over to the Kyungsoo, stopping a few paces from him.  
"Ready?" Jongin asks him. Kyungsoo rolls his shoulders back and cracks his neck. Kyungsoo reaches out slowly, watching Jongin for his reaction. His hand settles on Jongin's stomach.  
"Yeah," he says. "Lead the way, Second."  
Jongin swallows and takes Kyungsoo's wrist, removing the alpha's hand from his body. He doesn't let go of his wrist, and he walks back to stand in front of the fire. The drums stop and the noise of the celebration calms suddenly, everyone turning to look towards the front of the glade.  
Jongin lifts a hand, and the drums pick up a slow, steady beat instead of the heavy pounding that's been sounding since Taehyung and Jongdae accepted the offerings.  
"My wolves, my pack," Jongin recites. "Now that we have eaten and now that we have danced, it is time for us to release our wolves and send our new mated pairs off for the oldest of the dances."  
There's slight laughter, and Jongin hears his cousin's excited giggle above the rest of the pack.  
"I invite Taehyung and Jongdae forward," Jongin says. "I invite Hoseok and First forward. Take your wolf forms." Four navy robes fall to the grass, and four sets of feet become four sets of paws. Taehyung and Jongdae move to stand at Jongin's side, tails wagging. Anticipation is sharp in the air, tension so thick between the alphas and omegas that Jongin thinks he could tangle his fingers in it. He instead beckons Kyungsoo forward, and Leader shifts into his own wolf form, dark fur glistening in the firelight.  
"Step aside," Jongin directs the pack members gathered to watch the beginning of the chase. The pack parts, leaving a clear path for the wolves to run through on their way out into the far reaches of the territory and towards the homes they've prepared for themselves.  
Jongin curls his fingers in Kyungsoo's scruff, and the drums stop. Kyungsoo throws back his head and howls, and Jongdae and Taehyung take off across the glade. Jongdae disappears into the trees long before Taehyung does, and when Kyungsoo howls again, Seungwan and Hoseok race after them, the answering howls of the pack cheering them on. The drums beat again. The ceremony is complete. In the morning, all four of the wolves racing through the territory will wear fresh claim marks.  
Kyungsoo shifts upright, snatching up his fur cloak and wrapping it back around himself.  
"Ready to go?" he asks. "Are you hungry?"  
"No," Jongin answers. "I just want to sleep."  
Kyungsoo doesn't argue, just walks with Jongin out of the glade back towards their shared cabin. His fingers brush Jongin's arm and back repeatedly. Jongin blames it on his pregnancy. Kyungsoo is excited; Jongin is excited.  
But Kyungsoo thinks of Jongin in a way that Jongin can't think of him.  
Can't or won't? he hears in his head in Taehyung's voice.  
"That's what I wanted," Jongin tells Kyungsoo when he's settled down in his furs. Kyungsoo looks over at him from his side of the room, but he doesn't say anything.  
"The chase," Jongin continues. "I wanted to be released by Second and run into the night with my mate running after me."  
Kyungsoo sighs, and he's not looking at Jongin anymore. "I don't want to talk about this," he says. "We're mated and having a pup together. Isn't it time to just-" He exhales. "I'm not telling you to let it go. I'm just saying I don't want to hear it anymore."  
Jongin stares at him, and the guilty feeling from earlier spreads from his stomach to his throat. "I just wanted to be chased," Jongin finishes. Trying to appease Kyungsoo and his own guilt, he adds, "It could have been you even. I don't know."  
"That's not-" Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. "Let's not talk about it anymore, okay?" Jongin's mouth snaps shut, and he looks away. He can't stand seeing the utter defeat that Kyungsoo won't show on his face in the slope of the alpha's shoulders.  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo continues after a long moment, "you're my mate. If you ran- if you wanted to run, I would chase you."  
Jongin snorts, rolling over. "You're required to," he answers. "It doesn't mean the same thing." He ignores what he knows about Kyungsoo's heart, ignores that he knows Kyungsoo would chase him because he wants to. Jongin doesn't want Kyungsoo to chase him.  
Kyungsoo doesn't press the issue further, and Jongin closes his eyes firmly, ready to sleep away the jealousy and guilt doing their best to make his eyes burn with apologetic tears.  
~*~  
The scent of fresh blood reaches Jongin before the cabin door opens and Kyungsoo drags a pair of rabbits inside, his bare hands coated in his catch's dried blood. Jongin's stomach growls loudly, and Kyungsoo snorts out a laugh at him as he settles in front of their small fire pit. He claws are still out, and he sets to work tearing through the pelt of one rabbit to skin it.  
"Give me the other one," Jongin requests, clambering off of his furs and onto the floor across from Kyungsoo. He reaches for the other rabbit, and Kyungsoo smacks his hand away.  
"Get the fire going," Kyungsoo orders. "It'll be hard to cook these without one."  
Jongin groans. "I want to eat them raw," he whines. "And bloody."  
"Ask me when you're not one moon pregnant," Kyungsoo says, continuing to calmy peel the skin from the rabbits. Jongin tries not to flinch - he really does - but the sound of those words is still so foreign even after weeks of them being true.  
"You won't let me do anything," Jongin complains. "I'm Second. I have things to do."  
"You've been out in the fields every morning," Kyungsoo counters. "Don't tell me you don't have anything to do." Jongin pouts at him as the fire sparks to life.  
"But I'm bored," he emphasizes, reaching for the pieces of meat Kyungsoo has already torn from the rabbits' bones and skewering them. Kyungsoo gives him his best sympathetic look, but it doesn't quell Jongin's desire to run on four paws, to sink his claws into his catch and tote it back to the glade with his head held high.  
But that desire cannot outshine how much he needs to protect the life growing inside him. He presses his hands to his still-flat stomach. He'll start to show next month, and the whole pack will know.  
"Are you worried?" Kyungsoo asks, eyes on Jongin's hands where they're pressed to his own skin. The full moon is tonight, and Jongin has never even tried to resist the moonsong before.  
"Of course I am," he admits. "I've never gone through a full moon without changing since I was a pup." He goes back to skewering pieces of meat. "I'm not saying I can't resist," he continues, babbling and determinedly looking away from Kyungsoo's face. "I'm just saying I haven't before. It's probably easy, right?" He ignores Kyungsoo's frown, ignores how many omegas work for months before getting pregnant to learn to resist the call of moon song and how many beta women have given up on ever having a pup of their own.  
Moon song is addictive, and Jongin's connection to it is strong. The priests have been telling him that for sun cycles. Kyungsoo reaches for him, but then looks at the blood and grease on his fingers and retracts his hand.  
"Do you want me to stay?" he asks.  
Jongin shakes his head. "I think you being here will just encourage me to change." He shrugs. "I'll be fine. And the pack needs you to run it."  
"I have Seungwan and Jongdae backing me tonight," Kyungsoo says. "I could ask them to lead."  
"No," Jongin states, resolute. He sets the skewers of rabbit meat over the fire. "I'm going to stay here in this form, and you're going to run the pack." Kyungsoo doesn't offer him any argument after that, and Jongin tends the food while Kyungsoo takes the scraps outside to bury them. He returns with clean hands just as Jongin is pulling the skewers from the fire.  
"It's hot," he warns. Kyungsoo seems unbothered by that, biting into the rabbit anyway. The sky is darkening, and the full moon glows brighter as the colors of sunset recede from the sky. Jongin hums to himself under his breath to distract himself from the faint cooing of moon song.  
In another few hours, the moon will be high in the sky, and the pack will run while Jongin sits calmly and keeps his skin in place. He and Kyungsoo eat and watch the orange and purple disappear completely from the sky.  
"The pack is gathering," Jongin says as casually as he can. "I can hear them."  
Kyungsoo gives him a long, unreadable look, and Jongin leans back to avoid the intensity of it. The alpha wolf sighs and gets to his feet.  
"I'm going out then," he says. "Are you sure you'll be-"  
"Just go," Jongin insists. "I'll be right here when you get back."  
"Okay," Kyungsoo says. "Just... good luck." Jongin waves him away, and Kyungsoo turns, stripping out of his pants before he bursts into wolf form and trots out of the cabin. The moment he disappears, the sound of the pack rustling around in the glade reaches Jongin clearly, and he swallows.  
"You're fine," he tells himself. "You're fine."  
He hums a little louder, forcing his grandmother's favorite folk tune to ring more forcefully in his ears than the moon song beginning to crash through the gaps in between the logs of the cabin walls.  
Kyungsoo's howl shakes through him, and the pack answers. Jongin digs his fingers into his furs, ignoring how his claws slice through the leather backing and loose fur gets caught under his nails.  
"Show, glow, pretty moon," Jongin sings, voice breathy and shaking. "Day will end, I'll see you soon..." He coughs, baring his teeth in the direction he knows the moon to be. "Night will end," he says instead. "I'll be fine."  
Silver washes the floor, and Jongin gets up to pull his furs away from it, moving himself into a dark corner of the cabin to avoid the moonlight. Still, the moon song sings higher, and Jongin can't hear the pack in the glade anymore, but he can feel the energy the pack radiates through the territory as they run. Jongin curls himself into a fetal position, hands pressed to his stomach. His claws are pinpricks of pain against his hip bones, and he grits his teeth so hard he can hear them grinding together.  
Moon song whispers into his ears, caresses his neck, and if the moon goddess were real, she'd bare her teeth at Jongin and drag her fingers along his body, urging him into his wolf form.  
"No," Jongin grits out. "No." He presses himself against his furs, focusing on the soft feeling against his skin. Human skin.  
The moon song crescendos, melody closing around Jongin's throat and harmony coaxing his claws from his fingers. He bites his lip, and his fangs slice through his skin.  
"No," he says again. "No. Jongin. Stop."  
He buries his face in his furs, holding his breath, focusing on the shape of his body, on the way his joints bend and how cold his toes are. He slowly takes in a breath through his nose, exhales through his mouth. Adamantly ignores the moon song echoing in his ears.  
But moon song will not be ignored. Moon song is beautiful and luring. It tells Jongin to run, to be with his pack, to be a wolf.  
For his pup, Jongin will not listen even though ignoring the moon song is starting to hurt. His skin feels like it’s being peeled from his bones. His spine is trying to extend, to form a stronger back and a tail, and Jongin screams against his furs, hands clenched together. His claws tear through the soft skin on the backs of his hands, and the scent of blood is almost as tempting as the moon song.  
It's been so long since Jongin's hunted, been so long since he's raced through his own territory...  
"Stop!" Jongin screams.  
It does. The moon song quiets, pauses. Jongin breathes, shaking. The air still hums with the glow of the moon, and Jongin doesn't move. He stays hunched over on his elbows and knees, face in the furs and breathing harsh, trying to calm his racing heart.  
The howls of the pack reach him across the territory, and Jongin smiles slightly, letting their voices calm him. His fingers have only begun to relax when the moon song joins in with the pack's singing. Jongin opens his mouth to yell at himself, to tell himself 'no,' to tell himself that he's fine, but the moon song has broken through his defenses. It sings to clearly in his ears, soaring above any other sound, and Jongin...  
Jongin can't turn his thoughts from it. In horror, he watches his hands reshape, forming massive paws instead of fingers. He feels his skin part, his ears shift along the sides of his head. He lets out a sob and closes his eyes.  
He's failed.  
Jongin's wolf form tears through him, bursting from his skin and snapping all of his bones until they realign. Jongin whines pitifully, not moving, letting the change take his body and tear his heart. The smell of blood is strong, and Jongin can't look. He won't look. He just stays still, motionless, and broken-hearted.  
His grandmother's stories never included the loss of a pup; his grandmother's stories never had anything but a happy ending. Jongin doesn't know what to do, so he cries. The tears burn his eyes, rolling down the short fur on his face. He squeezes his eyes shut so that he can't see the silver washing the floor of the cabin.  
He's never hated the moon, moon song, or his wolf form as much as he does right now. He feels sick. He's going to be sick. He holds his breath again, shaking and crying. He's pathetic - a giant wolf crying by himself. He's a failure who couldn't the one life that mattered most.  
Jongin doesn't move when the moon song stops and his body shifts back into human form. He doesn't move when he hears the pack return. He doesn't move when he hears Kyungsoo walking up to the cabin, paws becoming human feet.  
He doesn't move because his heart hurts too much for him to want to move.  
The cabin door creaks open, the scrape of it against the floor is pain down Jongin's back. The cold of the evening air bites his skin, and Jongin shakes, curling in closer to himself.  
"Jongin?" Kyungsoo calls out, and Jongin holds his breath to stop a sob from tearing from his throat. The alpha wolf's footsteps are quiet, hesitant, as he crosses over to where Jongin is on the floor. "Jongin," Kyungsoo breathes, coming to kneel beside him. He can smell it; Jongin knows he can. The blood.  
"You're human," Kyungsoo says hopefully, and he reaches out, taking Jongin's arms to pull his hands towards him. His eyes widen when he's sees the blood coating his skin, fresh and red. "Did you hurt yourself?" he asks, but his voice is shaking, his hands trembling even as they hold Jongin's wrists. Jongin doesn't look at him, doesn't move from lying prone in his furs. "Where are you hurt?" Kyungsoo demands, and the worry in his tone borders on panic.  
Jongin moves his eyes from nothing to his own hands to Kyungsoo. "Leader," he whispers, and a cry breaks through his one word. He shakes. "I'm sorry."  
Kyungsoo's eyes are wide, and if Jongin doesn't look at them, he won't see how pained they are. He looks away.  
"But you're still human," Kyungsoo tries. "You're still-"  
"I lost control," Jongin whispers. "I didn't- I couldn't- I'm sorry." Kyungsoo doesn't let go of his wrist, his grip tightening. He looks at Jongin's thighs, at the mess of blood there.  
"No," Kyungsoo denies. "No. You didn't. You didn't-" He cuts out, and his chest is heaving in the same way Jongin's does when he's trying hard not to scream or cry or both. "No," Kyungsoo repeats. "No, no, no no-!" He breaks, letting go of Jongin's hands and burying his face in his hands. Blood streaks across his face from his fingertips.  
His crying shatters any denial they could have stayed in, and it's all Jongin's fault.  
Jongin's second kill isn't nearly as easy as his first.  
He and Kyungsoo stay like this, crying only a few hands' breadths away from each other until their throats are too raw. Silence hurts more than it comforts when Jongin thinks about how, in just a few months from now, the cabin should have been filled with the sound of a pup's laughter.  
Instead, that pup is lost- crushed to death by the change that Jongin couldn't hold back.  
When the light of morning replaces the moonlight on the cabin floor, the blood and tears are dried and washed away, but the pain of loss still squeezes its fingers around Jongin's heart and throat.  
"I'm going to go lead a patrol," Kyungsoo announces, standing. "We have to just... keep going."  
Jongin bites his lip and doesn't move. He'd watched Kyungsoo clear away the crushed, partially-formed body of their pup and scrub the blood from the floors and from his hands. He doesn't want to step outside and see the where the ground is freshly turned over to bury the pup.  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo starts, reaching for him.  
"Don't touch me!" Jongin snarls, rearing back. "I shouldn't have let you touch me- I shouldn't have- if you hadn't, this-" He doesn't finish. He can't. Kyungsoo straightens up, and his face is stone.  
"You let me," he reminds him. "And I wanted to. And you let me. This isn't my fault. This isn't your fault. It's no one's-"  
"It is my fault!" Jongin retorts. "And it's because I let you touch me. So don't-" He scoots back a little more, putting more space between himself and Kyungsoo. "Don't touch me."  
Kyungsoo closes his eyes, and for a moment Jongin thinks he might cry again. If Kyungsoo cries, Jongin will too. He swallows, willing his heart to become stone.  
"I'm going then," Kyungsoo says, and he does, leaving Jongin alone with his pain and the slight tang of blood. Jongin curls around himself. He needs to go out there and be Second, but he can't. He needs time. He needs to heal.  
The prospect sounds impossible.  
~*~  
Jongin is awake again to watch the sunrise a week after it happened, and he stares at the red light streaking across the cabin floor, remembering the blood that colored there in much the same way with a sort of detached longing to erase that memory. The past does not simply disappear with the sunrise, and the moon doesn't hide as much as the head priestess says she does.  
"Did you sleep at all?" jerks Jongin from his staring, and he turns to look at Kyungsoo.  
"Did you?" he mumbles in return, his words carrying no real bite and no real interest. He feels numb inside. It's easier to feel nothing than it is to feel pain.  
Kyungsoo doesn't answer, but his eyes are just as red and weak as Jongin's must be. He still carries an air of determination that Jongin has foregone completely in favor of wallowing in his sorrow. The pack is still living and thriving, and Kyungsoo uses that to keep himself going, uses that as his excuse to go out everyday and lead them, to play with the pups.  
In the face of tragedy, Kyungsoo has begun to lead the pack in the way Jongin has always expected of him. There's a shadow on his face every time Jongin sees him in the cabin, but out in the glade, he acts as if nothing is wrong. His ploy is much more effective than Jongin's. The pack is doing well now that Kyungsoo has thrown himself so completely into his role as Leader. Jongin is proud of him and of them; they're strong.  
But Jongin himself is not strong. In the face of tragedy, Jongin runs in a state of repetition, his performance as Second based solely on muscle memory. His heart isn't there. His heart is broken.  
It had taken days of crying and then days of stoic silence before Jongin had dared to step outside of the cabin, and it's another day still before he goes back to the pack to work again. They all ask him if he's feeling better, if he's still contagious. He's grateful to Kyungsoo for spreading the rumor that he was sick, but he still wants to cry every time a pack member asks him how he's doing.  
He's not doing well. He's not sure when he'll truly be well again. He and Kyungsoo are the only ones who will ever know about the lost member of the pack who never even had a chance to see the radiance of the sun.  
"I'm fine," he tells one concerned, older pack member on the fields before Taehyung grabs him away for 'urgent' business.  
"Thank you," Jongin says once he and his cousin are hidden behind the tree line. "I'm really getting tired of hearing that question, but I'm okay." Taehyung frowns.  
"You're not okay," Taehyung states, and he stares hard at Jongin, daring him to contradict him. Jongin doesn't refute him. "And neither is Leader." Again, Jongin does not argue with him. Taehyung sighs.  
"You need to talk to him," he encourages. "You're both in so much pain- shared pain." Jongin shakes his head almost violently. "Second..."  
"I don't know how to talk to him," Jongin confesses. Taehyung is quiet, waiting. "I'm so guilty."  
"No," Taehyung says immediately, grabbing Jongin's hand. "This wasn't your fault."  
"Then whose was it?" Jongin demands, snatching his hand back. "Leader's? He wasn't the pregnant one."  
"I'm saying many omegas fail their first time," Taehyung says. "It's not like you intentionally shifted." He pauses. "Right?"  
Jongin glares at him, baring his teeth. "Fuck you," he hisses.  
"Okay," Taehyung soothes. "See? Not your fault. Not Leader's fault. There is no blame to be placed here. So just-"  
"So just what?" Jongin demands. "Let it go?" Taehyung has no answer for that. "How can you expect me to do that?" He winds his arms around himself, his elbows pressed against his sides like it will stop his heart from trying to shred itself into pieces. "That was my child, Taehyung! My pup! My son or daughter." He's crying again, shaking in fury at himself and at the moon, shaking in pain for the pup who only knew suffering before it knew nothing.  
"I know," Taehyung tries to soothe.  
"No, you don't," Jongin snaps. He hiccups, and repeats much more quietly, "No, you don't." Taehyung closes his mouth. "You don't know how it feels," Jongin continues, looking at his hands and remembering how brightly colored red they had been when Kyungsoo had found him lying on the floor, sobbing for a life lost. "And most likely, you never will. You've always been good at controlling your shift during the full moon."  
"You're right," Taehyung acquiesces, and he's much gentler now, reaching out to take Jongin's hands, smoothing his thumbs across Jongin's palms. "And I don't want to know how it feels. But I know you're hurting, and I know Leader is hurting. You both are the only two who can understand each other right now, so why are you avoiding him?"  
Because Kyungsoo only wanted a family, Jongin thinks. Because for once they had wanted to do something together, for them, and Jongin had ruined that. But Taehyung doesn't need to know what Kyungsoo had shared with him in confidence; for all of his misery, Jongin doesn't want to break Kyungsoo's trust.  
"Because I'm the one who hurt him!" Jongin blurts out. "I'm the one who lost- who couldn't- it's my fault! It's all my fault." Jongin wobbles where he stands, and Taehyung grabs him before he collapses. Still, Jongin crashes into his cousin's chest, crying brokenly into his neck.  
"He didn't deserve this," Jongin sobs, and he lets Taehyung stroke his fingers through his hair. Taehyung rambles about the pup, saying again that it's not Jongin's fault, that of course the pup didn't deserve that. Jongin doesn't correct him, doesn't tell him that he'd meant Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo has proven in the past week that he fully intends to follow through with his promise to Jongin to become an alpha that Jongin can be proud of.  
Kyungsoo is a Leader that Jongin can be proud to call his mate, but that doesn't make him an alpha who Jongin loves.  
And now he's an alpha whom Jongin doesn't deserve.  
"Stop it," Taehyung whispers, petting Jongin's back. "Don't upset yourself further." But Jongin's mind is caught in a spiral of self-doubt and self-hate. He cries his way through it until he's too exhausted to even think demoralizing thoughts. He allows Taehyung's low humming to course through him, letting him float alongside reality until he's ready to enter it again.  
Jongin is finally mostly calmed when the howl to signal the end of the work day sounds, bouncing off the sky alongside the relieved cheers of the workers.  
"Go back to the cabin," Taehyung encourages him, helping Jongin back up to his feet. "Talk to Kyungsoo. Ah-" He holds up a finger to stop Jongin from protesting. "Just do it. Please. For your sake. For his."  
Jongin closes his eyes, forcing himself to stay standing. "I don't want to," he admits. He'll cry again if he does.  
"You need to," Taehyung tells him. "It took you two a whole sun cycle to become amicable, and all of that is going to fall to pieces in a matter of days if you don't just talk to him."  
Jongin snorts out a humorless laugh. "When did you become so wise?"  
"Well," Taehyung starts, and a mischievous grin pulls at the corners of his mouth. "With you so busy being Second, Grandma has put all her attention on me." He leans in, holding a hand to his mouth like he's got some grand secret to share. "I think Hoseok is getting a little jealous."  
"Of our grandmother?" Jongin asks, trying to inject as much sarcasm as he can muster. His attempt falls flat, but Taehyung ignores that.  
"He wants to spend time with me," Taehyung says. "As much as he can. We're mates, you know?" He gestures to the claim mark on his neck, the marks mostly healed.  
"You're an ass," Jongin informs his cousin, but he hears Taehyung's message within his words.  
"But my point is made," Taehyung argues. "Go now."  
"Don't give me orders," Jongin warns. "I'm still your Second."  
"Yes, Second," Taehyung murmurs. "And still my cousin." He waves his fingers and turns to leave first, leaving Jongin no choice but to stand alone in the woods or to head back to the cabin. He could go to the river or go to run around the territory, but while either of those options will keep him away from Kyungsoo, they won't keep him away from the pack asking over and over again if he's feeling alright.  
Jongin is getting so sick of lying to them every time. Taehyung is right, as usual. Jongin wants to be fine; he doesn't want to just say he is. The first step in that process is to talk to the only person who might understand how Jongin feels, and that person will be at the cabin they share.  
Jongin sighs and wipes his face one more time before he steels himself and spins on his heel to walk back in the direction of the cabin. He circles wide around the edges of the glade, keeping his steps silent to avoid anyone taking notice of him. He creeps up to the cabin, walking inside as quietly as he can, but Kyungsoo's voice still greets him along with the light of the fire.  
"Jongin?" Kyungsoo asks, and he slowly stands as if he's scared he'll spook Jongin. Jongin pauses before fully entering the room, watching Leader and the way the shadows from the firelight flicker across his skin. It's still light outside, but the cabin is gray and orange, lit by filtered sunbeams and fire.  
"I wasn't sure I would see you until tonight," Kyungsoo says, and his voice is low, gentle. "How are you today?"  
"I'm fine," Jongin responds out of habit. He flinches at his own response. It's too warm in the cabin. He takes a step back towards the door. "I'm-" His foot catches on an uneven floorboard, and he tips backwards.  
"Jongin!" Kyungsoo shouts, and he's there, grabbing Jongin around the shoulders and steadying him before he shatters against the ground. "Jongin?" Jongin shrugs away Kyungsoo's touch, and he ignores the alpha's sigh as he heads over to the fire, plopping down in front of it.  
"I told you not to touch me," Jongin says before he can stop himself. He clamps his mouth shut, and he closes his eyes so he can't see Kyungsoo's reaction to his words.  
"You were about to fall..." Kyungsoo starts, and then he quiets too. He makes his way over to sit in front of the fire, and Jongin settles himself in the middle of his furs, sitting cross-legged. It's uncomfortable, but so is the whole atmosphere around him and Kyungsoo.  
"Why did you come to the cabin- back here- why..." Kyungsoo coughs. "I mean: what brings you back to the cabin before sundown?"  
Jongin bites his bottom lip and breathes in through his nose, holding his breath for a long moment before he releases it. "To talk to you," he exhales. Kyungsoo stiffens, staring at him.  
"To... talk to me," he repeats. "Actually talk?"  
Jongin ducks his head, guilt coursing through him. Their conversations the past week have consisted of less than three phrases in total.  
How are you today?  
Fine.  
"To talk," he echoes himself. "We need to. We- I need to." Kyungsoo turns around from facing the fire to set his full attention on Jongin. Like this, the shadows dancing across his face, Jongin can see just how tired he is, how weary he is. It enforces what Taehyung had said to him: they're both grieving, needing each other to get through this loss.  
"Okay," Kyungsoo say, and he doesn't say anything else, simply sits and waits. His focus never wavers from Jongin, and Jongin keeps his eyes focused on Kyungsoo's face and hands. He watches the way the alpha wolf's hands twist in the fabric of his pants, the way his mouth stays down-turned. His eyes are pained; Jongin's sure he reflects the same expression.  
The fire crackles, a fresh wave of warmth rushing over Jongin. He feels stifled.  
"I'm sorry," Jongin blurts out. His eyes sting. "That's- I'm just-" His throat is too tight, his heart pounding. "I'm just so sorry." He wavers in his seat, but Kyungsoo doesn't move to hold him upright. He stays rooted right where he is, still staring.  
"I know," Kyungsoo whispers. He sighs, pulling his knees up to his chest. "I'm sorry too."  
Jongin blinks both in surprise and to force away the tears threatening to fall. "Why?" he asks. His voice shakes.  
"Because," Kyungsoo begins, voice just as shaky as Jongin's, "I left you alone. I shouldn't have. I should have-" He swallows. "I should have stayed."  
Jongin shakes his head. "No," he mumbles. "No, you shouldn't have had to stay. You're Leader. You went to lead, and I-" He clamps his hand over his mouth, choking back a dry sob. "I just couldn't..." His voice drops to a miserable whisper, and then, finally, Kyungsoo moves, sitting in front of Jongin's furs instead. If Jongin were to reach out, he could grab onto Kyungsoo easily, could wrap his arms around him.  
Kyungsoo doesn't make any move to touch Jongin; Jongin doesn't make any move to touch Kyungsoo. Jongin had been the one to order Kyungsoo not to touch him anyway.  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo starts. He twists his fingers in the furs of Jongin's bedding. "I'm sorry."  
"You shouldn't-"  
"And you're sorry," Kyungsoo interrupts, continuing. "So are we sorry to each other?"  
Jongin nods. "And to our- the pup."  
Kyungsoo's hand is dangerously close to Jongin's knee. He takes a deep breath, and he looks so serious, so genuine, that Jongin can't look away. "You're a strong wolf Jongin," he says. Jongin starts to shake his head, and Kyungsoo continues on before he can protest. "You are.You're the best omega this pack could have as Second. You're a good Second. This - what happened - doesn't change that." He lowers his gaze from Jongin's, and Jongin follows his hand as it settles on his knee. "I forgive you," Kyungsoo says.  
"A good Second," Jongin repeats. He picks up Kyungsoo's hand and sets it back on the furs. "But not a good parent. You're a good Leader, Kyungsoo." He waves a hand out in the general direction of the glade. "You've become an alpha I can respect, and I'm just- I can't be-"  
"Stop," Kyungsoo tells him. "Just stop. I've already said I forgive you. I don't blame you. Stop blaming yourself."  
Tears fall hot over Jongin's cheeks. "You can't just tell me not to feel a certain way!" he cries. "You can't tell me not to be sorry when I am. I'm so. Fucking. Sorry. I killed your pup, Kyungsoo! How can you just- how can you-" He shoves himself to his feet, pacing around in agitation. "How can you say you forgive me when I'm a murderer?"  
"You are not a murderer!" Kyungsoo shouts, jumping up to his feet as well. "You're just a wolf, Jongin. You're under the sway of the moon the same as the rest of us. You-"  
"I'm an omega!" Jongin argues. He sounds hysterical. He doesn't care. "I'm supposed to be able to resist the moon!"  
"And yet you can swallow two mouthfuls of wolfsbane because just one isn't enough to cut your connection with your wolf," Kyungsoo returns. "You stand here as Second because you're the strongest omega in this pack. You're a fighter, a protector- you weren't raised to be just any other-"  
"Just any other omega?" Jongin scoffs. "Like omegas are a just another tree in the forest."  
"That's not what I'm saying, and you know it," Kyungsoo says. His face is shadowed; his voice is dark.  
"Right," Jongin says. "But that is what you said."  
"You're trying to start a fight." Kyungsoo takes a step back. "You're trying to fight with me like we did when we first were named Leader and Second. Why do you want to go back to that?"  
Jongin freezes. His stomach twists with guilt and pain.  
"If we go back to that," Kyungsoo continues, "we'll just be tearing the pack apart again. And I-" He shakes his head. "I refuse to be a part of that. So I'm not going to fight you."  
"Why won't you yell at me?" Jongin screams. "Why won't you just- just be angry? Furious? I killed-"  
"Stop saying it, Jongin!" Kyungsoo shouts. "Our pup is dead. You're not going to make him any more dead by repeating it." Jongin's jaw snaps shut. "You're not going to be a killer just because you repeat it. You're not going to be a bad Second just because you repeat it. You're only making yourself miserable."  
Jongin inhales, and he feels like he's choking on misery. "What about you?"  
"What?" Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.  
"Does it make you miserable too?"  
Kyungsoo's shoulders sag, and he looks utterly defeated. "Of course I'm devastated," he admits. "Of course I am. But I can't - we can't - let this ruin an entire sun cycle of progress." He straightens his back and his mouth thins into a line. "We can't let this ruin the pack or ourselves." He steps towards Jongin, and Jongin doesn't move. "We need to heal, Jongin." Another step. "What happens when something worse strikes us? Do we just dissolve like this every time?" Another step. This time, Jongin steps back.  
"What could be worse than this?" Jongin demands.  
"Does it matter?" Kyungsoo asks. "If it's something like this again or a plague or a food shortage- a famine, even - we have to be prepared to stand tall and strong for the pack. We support them. They support us. If one of us crumbles, the entire pack falls to pieces. I don't- we can't let that happen." He steps forward again. Jongin allows him to.  
"I told you not to touch me," Jongin whispers, eyeing the hand's breadth of space between them.  
"I'm not," Kyungsoo says. "I'm waiting for you to tell me I can."  
Silence falls between them and around them, broken only by their breathing. Jongin hiccups from crying, and Kyungsoo's cheeks are wet with his own tears. Jongin reaches out, and Kyungsoo catches him when he pulls Leader into a desperate hug that he hopes conveys just how sad he is, how sorry he is.  
"It will be okay," Kyungsoo promises. He assuring both of them; Jongin can feel it. "It's not right now, but-"  
"But it will be," Jongin mumbles against Kyungsoo's shoulder.  
"I shouldn't have touched you then," Kyungsoo says, his hands pressed to Jongin's back. "We weren't ready for that."  
"I wanted it then," Jongin says.  
"I should have said no," Kyungsoo insists. He pulls back and lets go of Jongin. "I'm sorry. You're just - just like the first time I saw you - you're hard to resist." He sighs. "But I shouldn't have let myself get so carried away like that."  
"Kyungsoo, I-" Jongin cuts himself off. What should he even say in response to that? That he knows Kyungsoo loves him? That he heard him admit it to his grandmother? Kyungsoo hasn't told him himself yet, and Jongin realizes belatedly that it would be better if he hadn't known at all.  
We weren't ready, Kyungsoo had said, but it's Jongin who wasn't ready. He's still not ready. He chest feels hollow.  
"I don't want to cry again," he says, but tear are already starting to fall.  
"Better to feel pain now than to suffer later," Kyungsoo tells him, returning to sit by the fire. Jongin sits next to him, not quite touching, but close enough to feel the presence of the other.  
"I forgive you for anything you feel sorry towards me for," Jongin murmurs. "And I-" He coughs. "Thank you. For your forgiveness, even though I don't deserve it."  
"Don't," Kyungsoo directs. "Don't say that. It's not true."  
Jongin falls silent. He wants desperately to believe Kyungsoo. Maybe - hopefully - it won't be too long until he does.  
The fire crackles on merrily, and the warmth sits on Jongin's skin, a reminder that happiness and forgiveness are not unattainable.  
"Do you want to hunt with me?" Kyungsoo invites, and Jongin doesn't want to at all. Still, he agrees and pushes himself to his feet and falls into wolf form. The first time the two of them had hunted together, they'd set off a chain reaction of learning to work together. Maybe this time, they'll set off a reaction that leaves them healed and whole.  
Jongin wants that desperately.  
~*~  
Jongin dangles his feet over the edge of the outcropping of rock at the head of the glade, watching pack members scurry in and out of the trees. The air buzzes with grasshoppers chirping and the faint hum of moon song. The pack's energy is high, shimmering against Jongin's skin. He kicks his feet again, leaning back on the heels of his hands, watching the sky slowly darkening, the light blue darkening to color-tinged clouds.  
He can feel the pull in his chest that signifies the arrival of the full moon; tonight, he will run with the pack. The difference in the pack when he and Kyungsoo run as Leader and Second versus when Seungwan and Jongdae lead the run is really the only thing that has kept Jongin from hiding in shame from the full moon in these months after he lost his child. He wants the pack to be healthy, even if right now, all that he's managing is a hands-off approach.  
He keeps a blind eye turned to the way the pack members notice his distance from them. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with Jongin; he just doesn't know how to tell them that. He hardly knows how to admit it to Kyungsoo, but he thinks Kyungsoo knows already.  
The days are getting hotter, and the prey is plentiful. Kyungsoo is around the pack all the time, and Jongin can see the happiness in the wolves as they get to know their Leader better. He's trying his best to fill the position of Leader the way he had promised Jongin he would, and something about that fills Jongin with relief. He can take his time healing; he doesn't have to stress about pinning a grin to his face and hoping the pack members can't see the unshed tears in his eyes. It makes it so much easier for Jongin to learn how to be happy again.  
It's hard. Some days he goes back to the cabin and holds conversation with Kyungsoo, hunting with him or eating with him depending on if the alpha has hunted already or not. Some days, he can almost believe he's not aching with sadness. His smiles are brighter, growing bolder and more genuine as he heals. But some days he goes back to the cabin and collapses immediately, pressing himself flat into his furs and shaking, stomach twisting as he tries to figure out if he wants Kyungsoo to yank him out of his misery or if he wants to be left alone.  
Still, the days where he forces himself to wear a smile and the nights where the loud mourning of his heart keeps him awake until sunrise are depleting, becoming fewer and further in between as the months pass. He'll never forget, but he'll also not choose to never move on.  
The sky is a myriad of pink and purple clouds against an orange backdrop, and Jongin can see the hope in it even with the moon floating in the center of it all. Footsteps call Jongin's attention to the path leading up to the rocks where Jongin sits, and he waits to speak until Kyungsoo has settled down next to him, close but not touching.  
"Are you ready to run?" Jongin asks. He twists his fingers together. His wolf form presses up under his skin at the mention of running. Jongin doesn't spend nearly as much time in his wolf form as he used to; he doesn't like the feeling that his wolf skin controls him more than he controls it.  
Kyungsoo taps absently at the smooth surface of the rock. "Why don't we stay here tonight?" he suggests instead. His voice is quiet and smooth. The sun is sinking, and if Jongin closes his eyes, he can almost imagine the moon song in Kyungsoo's voice. He tips his head back and stares at the full moon.  
"We have to run the pack," he reminds. "We can't exactly not show up."  
Kyungsoo shakes his head, tipping his head back to look at the moon too. "We won't just 'not show up,'" he argues. "I have an idea, and I want you - us - to try it."  
Jongin draws his knees up to his chest. "I think we should run the pack like we're supposed to," he says. "This will only be our fifth run together after we learned how to really lead the run. The pack won't want us to take a break already."  
"I'll ask Seungwan and Jongdae to run the pack in our place," Kyungsoo offers, seemingly ignoring everything Jongin has just said. Jongin frowns.  
"I don't think it's a good idea," Jongin asserts.  
"You haven't even heard my idea," Kyungsoo counters. "How can you know it's bad?" Jongin purses his lips and waits. Kyungsoo adjusts how he's sitting, turning to look at Jongin. Jongin can feel the alpha's gaze on his profile, but he doesn't turn to meet it.  
"What is it?" he asks.  
"I think we should stay here tonight," Kyungsoo says. "Just the two of us while the pack is out."  
Jongin jerks, turning his attention to Kyungsoo. "Is this like before?" he asks, leaning away from Kyungsoo. His heart pounds in trepidation. "Is this like when you wanted to run alone on our sun cycle anniversary? And then we-" He chokes. Swallows. "We-"  
"Not that like," Kyungsoo interjects quickly. "I'm not asking for- I mean-" He stops and takes a breath. "I think you should try not shifting." Jongin's head snaps up to stare at Kyungsoo, his heart pounding in his chest.  
"There's nothing to lose," Kyungsoo continues. "No one's life is at risk."  
Bile rises in the back of Jongin's throat. "I wasn't able to resist when it mattered," Jongin mutters. "Why the fuck would I be able to do it now?" Kyungsoo opens his mouth to answer and then closes it again. Jongin shakes his head. "You have no reasoning," he states. "Let's just run the pack like we're supposed to." He makes to get up, but Kyungsoo grabs his wrist, keeping him in place. His grip shakes, but it's not with anger. The alpha wolf radiates desperation and sadness, all of it wrapping around Jongin.  
He's not desperate or sad because they lost their pup; he's desperate and sad because of Jongin. And Jongin doesn't know why.  
"But what happens next time?" Kyungsoo blurts out, thumb pressed to the fragile skin of Jongin's wrist. "What happens the next time we get carried away and you get pregnant? Are you just going to give up on the pup every time?"  
Jongin is silent. Frozen.  
"Prove this to yourself, Jongin," Kyungsoo urges him. "Prove to you that you can control yourself."  
"I'm not planning on getting pregnant again," Jongin snaps. "It doesn't matter."  
"You didn't plan to get pregnant last time, but you did," Kyungsoo returns. "It could happen again, and if it does, you need to know that you're better than the moon. You control you- not the moon goddess."  
Jongin has no argument for that. He pulls his arm from Kyungsoo's grip, folding his hands together on his lap. Kyungsoo sighs.  
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Kyungsoo concedes. It's the most gentle he's been since the conversation started. "But I just thought..." He trails out; Jongin waits. "You're so distant, Jongin," Kyungsoo says slowly. "The pack misses you. You're here, but you're not here. You haven't been here since... since then."  
"Since my pup died," Jongin elaborates. Kyungsoo flinches.  
"I'm not upset at you," he says, adamant. "Why won't you understand this?"  
"Because it doesn't make sense, Kyungsoo," Jongin answers. He remembers Kyungsoo admitting to his grandmother that he loves him. If Jongin could understand that, maybe he could understand Kyungsoo's forgiveness. Nothing is easy; nothing has been easy since he became Second. He murmurs, "I just don't know if I can resist- if I can ever resist." He faces Kyungsoo. "You have too much faith in me," he says. I can't do this, is what he means.  
"You have the will of an avalanche, Jongin," Kyungsoo tells him. "Not even the brightest full moon can stop you if you don't want to be stopped." His eyes are bright; Jongin frowns. "You can do this," Kyungsoo adds. "I know it, but you don't." He's challenging Jongin now, and Jongin has never been able to resist a challenge.  
"If I don't succeed," Jongin begins, "will you ask me to try again?"  
"No," Kyungsoo promises. "I'll wait for you to tell me you're ready to try again." Maybe it's his unwavering voice or the honest intent behind his words, but Jongin wants to at least try. Kyungsoo is right: what happens next time the moon sings too loudly and they get lost in lust and pleasure?  
Jongin isn't going to be responsible for a lost life that he could have prevented.  
"Okay," he agrees. "I'll stay here. I'll try."  
"We'll stay here," Kyungsoo corrects. "I'm not leaving you to do this alone." Jongin's chest feels warm; he can't breathe.  
"I-" he stutters. "I'll go tell Seungwan."  
"No need," Kyungsoo says. He tosses back his head and imitates his wolf's howl as best he can. It's not as low as his wolf form sings, and it's not a call that demands the pack's attention. Still, a spike of energy resonates in the glade; the full moon putting every wolf on edge, ready to run. Seungwan comes sprinting through the glade, emerging from the trees that lead toward the home she shares with Jongdae. The wrappings around her chest are falling loose, her navy robe from her mating ceremony four-months passed slung over her shoulders.  
"Hey," she pants, scrambling up the rocks to plop down behind Jongin and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo turns to look at her, and Jongin keeps his focus on his hands folded in his lap. "What's happening? Shouldn't you both be getting ready to run?" She can't stop grinning, her fingers tapping on her knee. Jongin notices her fidgeting out of the corner of his eye, and it draws him to turn around and face her. He watches Kyungsoo give his First a long perusing stare.  
"I was going to ask you and Jongdae to run the pack tonight," he starts, "but looking at you, somehow I get the feeling you won't be able to."  
Seungwan shakes her head. "No," she says. "I'm sorry. I can't. Or rather, I can, but Jongdae can't."  
Jongin's focus snaps to the female alpha. "Is he sick?" he asks, but his gut twists just as he says it. That's not the case at all.  
"He's pregnant," Seungwan corrects. "So...we can't run the pack. I could ask someone else for you though?" Her eyebrows stitch together. "But you're not pregnant." She forms the words slowly, carefully. "So why aren't you and Kyungsoo running the pack?"  
Jongin swallows. He doesn't want to answer.  
Kyungsoo does it for him. "We're looking into something," he answers vaguely. His tone is clipped, an unspoken demand that Seungwan not offer any further questions. First ducks her head in consent.  
"I'm sorry we can't," she speaks for herself and Jongdae. "Who should I ask-?"  
"We can just wait," Jongin says to Kyungsoo. "Until Seungwan and Jongdae can- it's not that urgent."  
"No," Kyungsoo stops him. "Do you want to do this, Jongin?"  
Does he? Jongin breathes. "What about Chanyeol?" he asks Seungwan. Kyungsoo squeezes Jongin's knee. "He was next in line to be Second. Is he seeing anyone?"  
"Oh," Seungwan says. "Yeah. He might be able to, actually. If the pack trusts him as a leader."  
"Who is he seeing?" Jongin asks.  
"Yoongi, I think?" Seungwan says. "They've been... I don't know. Talking? But they might be close enough to be able to... I mean. I can ask?"  
"There's always Minseok and Changmin," Jongin concedes. "The pack knows them. And If not them, then Seulgi and Juhyeon."  
Seungwan snorts. "Jongdae would be happy with that. He's determined to see them mated."  
Jongin smirks in amusement. His friend is far too interested in the affairs of the two female wolves.  
"Go ask," Kyungsoo orders. "Please."  
"Sure, Leader," Seungwan says, getting up and adjusting her wrapping back around her chest. "This is going to be weird. Running without Jongdae?" She shrugs. "Guess I'll have to get used to it."  
"Not for too long," Kyungsoo encourages. "Just a few months."  
"Yeah," Seungwan agrees, and she'll never know how encouraging her words are for Jongin. "Only four runs without him. It will just make me appreciate the fifth even more."  
Maybe that's what Jongin had been missing last time: something to look forward to. Seungwan scampers off, and Kyungsoo helps Jongin to his feet.  
"Let's go back to the cabin," he suggests. "The sky will be fully dark soon." Jongin nods. He wants to speak, but he's pretty sure he's about to throw up if he does. Nerves twist in his stomach. Kyungsoo is confident in him being able to resist the moon, but Jongin is not nearly as certain.  
The walk to the cabin is silent, and Jongin can feel Kyungsoo's presence next to him, the acute rise in the alpha wolf's energy in tune with the rise of the moon. Jongin closes his eyes as he walks, breathing evenly, listening to Kyungsoo breathe to distract himself from the humming of moon song. Kyungsoo enters the cabin first, and Jongin stands at the threshold for a long minute, staring inside. He can still refuse to even try, but the number one way to lose a fight is to forfeit. Minseok had told him that back during his training.  
You lose every battle you don't fight, Minseok had said.  
"It may seem impossible," Jongin whispers to himself, echoing the memory of Minseok's words out loud. "It may be hard. But unless you give yourself a chance to win, you won't." He clenches his hands into fists and walks through the front door of the cabin.  
Fight, he cheers himself on, walking right up to Kyungsoo.  
"You're gonna be fine," Kyungsoo assures him.  
"Yeah," Jongin says, and it's the most resolute he's felt in anything since that full moon three months ago.  
"Can I shift?" Kyungsoo asks. The moon song is picking up, the sound reverberating in Jongin's mind. He refuses to pay attention to it.  
"Yes," Jongin says. "Better now when you want to than being forced to."  
"Did it hurt?" Kyungsoo asks. It's the first question he's asked Jongin about that night, and Jongin finds that answering isn't as difficult as he'd expected it to be.  
He nods. "I've never felt so out of control," he admits. "Nothing mattered to my body but shifting. I could feel-" He cuts out. Kyungsoo doesn't press him. Jongin takes a deep breath. "I could feel the moment the shift crushed everything." He narrows his eyes. "I never want to feel that again. Never want to feel that out of control again."  
"You won't have to," Kyungsoo assures. "I'll be right here." Jongin takes that as his cue to step back from the alpha wolf as he falls forward, his skin and bones twisting and cracking. A black wolf lands on four paws in front of Jongin, and Jongin waits patiently for Kyungsoo to look up at him, to orient himself to this body. When he does look up, eyes bright and fur making him almost disappear into the shadows, Jongin reaches out and brushes his thumb over Kyungsoo's eyebrow, dropping to his knees in front of the wolf.  
Kyungsoo sticks out his tongue and licks up Jongin's cheek. Jongin stares a him, a grimace frozen on his face. He swears Kyungsoo is laughing, his tail swishing behind him. The wolf barks, and Jongin shoves at him.  
"Go over there," he says. "Keep your tongue to yourself." Kyungsoo goes, curling up on his furs. Jongin retreats to his own furs, settling down on them and waiting for the moon song to begin to really sing.  
Jongin is calm, listening to Kyungsoo breathe. It's the same as the first time; he's able to ignore the moon and her song at first, distracting himself with other sounds around him. When it's someone else's breathing, it's easier. He doesn't have to produce the sound himself; he can focus wholly on something besides himself.  
Maybe that's what makes the difference. When the pack starts to run, tearing off across the glade in response to a howl that Jongin has never heard in the lead of a song before, a gravely howl and rattles his bones, he simply presses himself into his furs and ignores the resounding pawsteps echoing in his head, matching the beat of the moon song.  
Jongin desperately wishes to shift forms and run with them, but he doesn't feel like he's about to burst out of his skin. Kyungsoo's ears are perked up, his nose slightly wrinkled at the sound of another wolf's commanding howl, but he remains still, his eyes on Jongin. There's a comfort in that. He never stops watching Jongin until Jongin can't keep his mind away from the moon song, the bright silver light streaming across the floor of their cabin too bright to ignore.  
"Fuck," Jongin curses, twisting his fingers in the furs of his bedding. He's not going to let go this time; he's not going to let himself give in.  
He's not sure he can prove to himself that he can do this, but Kyungsoo is watching. Jongin is going to prove it to him.  
A whimper draws his attention from right next to him, and Jongin lifts his face from the furs of his bedding to look at Kyungsoo. The huge wolf lays down next to him, reaching out a paw to bat lightly at Jongin's side. The moon song surges, singing higher, and Jongin's fingers convulse, letting go of the furs.  
He dives into Kyungsoo's side, clinging to the alpha's fur instead. If Kyungsoo feels pain from Jongin's tugging, if his ears hurt from Jongin screaming and swearing at the moon, he doesn't show it. He just lays there, tail tickling Jongin's foot, and lets Jongin cry into his neck.  
The moon song pauses, silent at the point of the moon height, and the ring of the pack singing sears through the air. Jongin inhales the scent of dirt and wild on Kyungsoo's fur and holds himself perfectly still. His back strains with the desire the shift, but Jongin has something to look forward to if he doesn't give in. He's looking forward to Kyungsoo telling him he was right, telling him he knew he could do it.  
Jongin has what he was missing last time: support. The moon song can sing as loudly as it wants to, can demand his shift as much as it wants to, but Jongin is not giving in this time. He's in control of himself, keeping his body locked in place, human skin unchanged.  
Jongin doesn't know how long he stays like that, curled against Kyungsoo's side, but his fingers are stiff when the moon song finally stops its echoing, and his throat is raw. His nose is running and his cheeks are wet; his whole body aches, but he's made it. He breathes, trying to calm down, trying to get feeling back into his toes and fingers. Kyungsoo twists, leaning over to lick the backs of Jongin's hands.  
I told you, the action says. I never doubted you.  
"I did it," Jongin hiccups, still crying. He's never felt this type of bone-deep ache before, but the power he feels from resisting the moon is infectious, spreading through his whole body and erasing his pains. He feels invincible, high. "I did it."  
Kyungsoo stays beside Jongin until the sky has turned from black to gray, resting his huge head on Jongin's lap. Jongin strokes his fur absently. He's so tired, exhausted from his fight with the moon, but he's too elated to sleep. He made it through the night; he resisted.  
When the silver of the moon's glow has been replaced with the pale light of dawn on the floor of the cabin, Kyungsoo gets up, plodding over to his furs where he'd left his pants. He shifts, and Jongin watches him change, moving between forms gracefully. Kyungsoo approaches Jongin slowly, watching him carefully.  
"You made it," he begins. Jongin breaks into a grin. He can taste salt on his lips, tears from the pain of resisting the moon song mixed with tears of happiness and success.  
"Yeah," Jongin breathes. "I made it."  
Kyungsoo exhales into a smile, kneeling in front of Jongin. "I knew you could," he says.  
"I couldn't when it mattered," Jongin murmurs, "but I think I didn't know- I wasn't ready." Kyungsoo is silent, watching Jongin with concerned eyes. "It doesn't make the loss hurt less, but it makes moving forward easier, knowing that I can do this." He waves a hand at his human form.  
"You were amazing," Kyungsoo praises. "I don't know how you could- resisting the moon? I could never do it. I would never want to do it. And you did." He sounds so awed, so genuine. Jongin glances away, laughing off the compliments with a few awkward chuckles.  
"I almost can't believe I did that," Jongin says, flexing his fingers, twisting them in the fabric of his pants before releasing. Kyungsoo takes a hold of his hands, forcing him to relax his fingers. Jongin tries to hold his breath to stifle a yawn.  
"You're tired," Kyungsoo says. Jongin nods. "You can rest," Kyungsoo offers. "I'll take care of the pack today."  
"No," Jongin refutes. "I can do my own work."  
Kyungsoo frowns. "You were awake all night fighting. You need to sleep."  
"You were up all night too," Jongin argues. "We're both tired. But I can sleep later. Right now, I need to return to the pack. I need to be Second again."  
"You were never not Second," Kyungsoo says. "One more day won't hurt. Rest."  
Jongin shakes his head. "I want to go out there and be with the pack," he states. "I haven't been the Second they deserve because I didn't feel like I could be him. But you proved me wrong."  
"You proved you wrong," Kyungsoo corrects. He looks proud, the corners of his lips curled up. "You're a strong wolf, Jongin. You just needed a reminder."  
"The pack needs a strong wolf to stand as Second," Jongin says, and he can see Kyungsoo consenting to his argument in his relaxed shoulders. "The pack needs a strong Second to stand next to a strong Leader. So I'm going out there. I'll lead the hunting parties today."  
"Okay," Kyungsoo agrees, and he reaches out with the hand not holding Jongin's wrist. His fingers slide over the claim marks on Jongin's shoulder and up his neck to cup his jaw. Jongin doesn't move. He holds his breath, holds perfectly still. Kyungsoo is watching him with something Jongin doesn't understand, something Jongin can't place.  
Kyungsoo leans forward, and for one terrifying moment, Jongin thinks he's going to kiss him.  
Jongin is going to allow Kyungsoo to kiss him.  
Instead, Kyungsoo raises up on his knees just a tad to press his lips to Jongin's forehead, and Jongin grabs onto the hand cradling his face to keep himself upright. The strength of the affection, the pride, in Kyungsoo's action nearly bowls him over.  
"Sorry," Kyungsoo says when he draws back, but he doesn't look even marginally apologetic. Jongin slowly uncurls his fingers from holding Kyungsoo's hands. He's not quite relieved that Kyungsoo didn't kiss him, but he thinks it's best. The heat of the moment was their excuse before they suffered the worst pain; the heat of the moment isn't going to convince Jongin to make more mistakes.  
"That's okay," he says. Kyungsoo watches him with something like expectation on his face, but the moment is broken. Jongin doesn't know what the alpha is waiting for, so he gets to his feet, making to head out the door to the glade to gather a team of wolves to hunt with him.  
"Wait," Kyungsoo calls, standing and grabbing Jongin's wrist, whirling him back around to face him. His expression is a twist of many, and Jongin can't make out his feelings on his features. "I'm proud of you," Kyungsoo says finally, and Jongin's ears burn.  
"Thank you," he whispers. "I couldn't have... without you. Thank you." He walks out then, and even as he puts distance between himself and Kyungsoo, he can feel the growth of something between them. A shift in their understanding of each other.  
Fall is coming, and with it, change.  
~*~  
The sun glares in Jongin's eyes as he makes his way down the side of the mountains, stepping carefully with his patrol in line behind him. They're all panting; Jongin letting his tongue loll out of his mouth. The morning had been unseasonably cold, and Jongin had been grateful to slip into his wolf form and the warmth of his own fur. Now, coming around the last leg of patrol, the sun is high overhead and beating down on them.  
Jongin purposefully treks through the mud, reveling in the cool against the pads of his paws. They've been walking all morning, him and his patrol team, heading out to the farthest edges of the land they live in to check for other packs wandering through. If the wolves walking behind Jongin are tired, they don't show it. Their ears are perked up and alert, tails swishing with each step.  
Jongin hasn't seen tiredness in the pack members in two weeks. He attributes that to his full return to the pack. They had missed him while he'd been busy with his sorrow; Kyungsoo was right. His physical presence hadn't quite filled the gap that makes up the position of Second. Making it through the full moon unchanged had been the lesson in confidence that Jongin had needed.  
Leader holds his title for a reason, it seems.  
Jongin leads his team into the trees that lead out to the westernmost areas to which his pack lays claim. He keeps his paw steps as quiet as possible, whining low in his chest to signal the others to do the same. They're coming up on the area with the best hunting this time in the sun cycle. It's extremely likely that Kyungsoo and his hunting party are out here right now, stalking the undergrowth for rodents and hiding in the trees to single out which deer or moose they might be able to bring back to the pack.  
The wind shifts, and Jongin catches a hint of Kyungsoo and his team on the edges of the breeze. He looks back over his shoulder at his team. Minseok and Juhyeon give him barely perceptive nods to tell him they smelled their fellow pack members too. Sooyoung, in between Juhyeon and Minseok in line, is busy sniffing the air. Her ears are laid back, the fur along her back slightly raised. Behind Juhyeon, Joengguk is also distracted by the wind, his teeth barely bared. Jongin lifts his nose too.  
The scent of the pack that neighbors their territory, that attacked Seungwan not all that long ago, wafts towards them. As close to their borders as they are, it's not uncommon to scent the other wolves. Sooyoung and Jeongguk haven't been out this far before, and the last they've heard of this area was the attack that nearly cost Seungwan her life. Both of them are soon to be named full-fledged wolves in the pack, and being able to keep a level head during a patrol is one of the few things they must prove about themselves before being allowed to leave their status as pups behind.  
Minseok's tail brushes over Sooyoung's shoulder, and she ducks her head in apology. Juhyeon does the same to Jeongguk, and although the beta boy is a much larger wolf than the alpha female, he does his best to shrink into himself in apology, making himself appear smaller than Juhyeon. The alpha rolls her eyes.  
Jongin returns his attention to the woods in front of him, leading his team forward. They trod carefully along a fallen tree trunk that bridges the two sides of a shallow ravine. The creek that runs through it is only four or five body lengths below them. The fall wouldn't injure a wolf, but it will bruise.  
A flash of dark fur catches Jongin's eye, and he pauses in the middle of the trunk. Kyungsoo's eyes look back at him through the branches of an evergreen. Jongin dips his head and wags his tail, and he barely makes out of the glint of Kyungsoo baring his teeth at him. Around spread out behind Kyungsoo throughout the ravine, his party lays low in hiding. All of them duck their heads when Jongin's gaze lands on them, and Jongin nods to them in turn before signaling his party to follow him the rest of the way to the borderlands.  
The scent of their neighboring pack is strong, and Jongin straightens his tail, showing himself as the dominant wolf of this patrol. He barks, quiet but just enough noise to warn his team to be alert. Sooyoung's ears are pinned back against her head, and Jongin hopes desperately that they're not about to walk into a fight.  
Minseok and Juhyeon can hold their own in a fight, and Jeongguk has size on his side. Still, Jeongguk and Sooyoung are just pups. He doesn't want them in a position where they have to kill to survive before they've even been proclaimed adults.  
Minseok and Juhyeon move up to flank Jongin, keeping the pups hidden behind them. Jongin's tail swishes across the shoulders of the two youngest, assuring himself that they're there, that they're fine.  
The trees thin to the same clearing where Seungwan nearly lost her life; the only proof that the fight ever happened are the claw marks marring the tree trunks around the clearing. Jongin ducks low into the underbrush, eyes and ears alert, flicking around the clearing, waiting. The smell is too strong here for the other pack to not be in the area, and with the unsuccessful first attack, Jongin expects another try.  
Just not today, Jongin begs in his head. He signals Juhyeon to spread out to his right, and he ducks a little lower, waiting for Juhyeon to signal to him that it's all clear before sending Minseok out. Instead, he hears a bark from the alpha wolf- a warning signal. Juhyeon steps out into the clearing, her hackles raised. A party of seven wolves steps out from the opposite side to greet her. Minseok bares his teeth, and Jongin turns his own bared teeth at him to quiet him.  
The wolf in the middle of the seven shifts into a proud alpha, her hair long and smile closer to a grimace. Juhyeon shifts to meet her. She stands at the other alpha's collarbones, but her stance and saccharine expression are twice as fierce.  
"This isn't your territory," Juhyeon starts. She waves her fingers back towards the other pack's lands. "Leave."  
"I can't," the alpha says. "My Alpha has sent me, and I think it'd be best if I spoke with yours."  
"I am my own alpha," Juhyeon retorts.  
The other alpha rolls her eyes. "Right. Of course. Your Leader. Bring me to him."  
"I'm not letting you take another step further into my pack's lands," Juhyeon sneers. "Give me your message for Leader if you must, and then leave."  
"I'm not speaking to rankless wolves," the alpha wolf says. She tosses her hair behind her head. Juhyeon cocks her head to the side, and Jongin can imagine the way her eyebrows are slanted in question.  
"Rankless?" she repeats. "Is 'alpha' not enough rank for you?" Jongin shifts then, keeping himself low and hidden behind the bushes. Minseok shows his teeth, the fur along his back raised. The scent of a human is easier to distinguish than that of a wolf, and Jongin is in danger in this form. So is Juhyeon, and the taste of bile sits in the back of Jongin's throat at the thought.  
"Sooyoung," Jongin orders in a low whisper, "run for Leader. Tell him to come." Sooyoung's eyes are wide and a little scared. Jongin reaches out and brushes his fingers across her muzzle. "Go," he orders again. "Jeongguk go with her. Protect each other."  
Jeongguk dips his head in consent. "Now," Jongin commands, and Sooyoung turns and sprints, Jeongguk running close behind her, his ears perked and alert. A growl rings out from one of the wolf's on the other side of the clearing, and Minseok leaps from the bushes, tackling the wolf from the other pack to the ground. Minseok snarls, snapping at the pinned wolf's neck. The wolf struggles, straining to run after the two pups, but Minseok keeps him pinned, his teeth bared at the other wolves.  
The female alpha rolls her eyes. "Another rankless wolf? And a beta, no less. Did you tell those pups to run?" She snorts. "Two wolves against seven. That won't be much of a territory contest, dear." She sniffs the air. "Oh, there is one more. In human form. How threatening." She smirks at Juhyeon. "Take us to your Leader before you all get yourselves killed." Jongin takes that as his cue and steps from the bushes.  
The female alpha bursts into laughter. "An omega?" Juhyeon bares her teeth.  
"Calm," Jongin orders, smiling. He doesn't saunter, doesn't project anything that this other pack would expect of an omega. Juhyeon backs down immediately.  
"And you listen to him," the alpha female muses. Her eyes brighten when she next looks at Jongin. "You're their Second."  
Jongin raises an eyebrow. "Your guesswork is impressive," he mocks. He shrugs his shoulders back. "You asked for a ranked wolf. Am I 'ranked' enough?"  
"Ranked, yes," the alpha female says. "But still an omega." She tosses her hair behind her head. "You're all bark and no bite." She's testing him, challenging him. With one of her party's wolves trapped at the mercy of Minseok's teeth and claws, Jongin takes her bait.  
He narrows his eyes. "Rip his throat out, Minseok."  
The alpha female's eyes widen. "Wait-!"  
But Minseok doesn't wait. The snap of his jaws through the wolf's neck and the terrible shredding of skin rings in the clearing. The color drains from the alpha female's face. The remaining five wolves whine, growling at Minseok. Blood drips from Jongin's former mentor's muzzle. He shows his red stained fangs. The alpha holds out a hand to keep her pack members from attacking.  
"Now," Jongin begins, taking a few steps forward. They're all naked here, vulnerable in human skin. "Let's not pretend that you are any more ranked than Juhyeon." He gestures at his fellow pack member. "You were told to lead this expedition by your Alpha, and you think that gives you authority to stand on equal ground with someone like myself or my Leader." The alpha female clenches her hands into fists. "But then, I've heard that your pack has some strange beliefs about omegas. How dare I suggest that you stand underneath me, an omega, in rank?"  
"You talk a lot," the alpha female retorts. "Do you think you can talk us out of making our claim here? That you can seduce us away from your territory?"  
Jongin laughs, doing his best to hide his fury at her statement. Minseok growls next to him.  
"I would never disrespect my mate in such a way," Jongin says. "So I ask you to put aside your incorrect notions of omegas while we have this conversation." He shrugs. "Maybe you would actually be able to land a mate for yourself if you could do that always."  
"You're mocking me," the alpha seethes.  
"Why wouldn't I?" Jongin snaps back at her. He's antagonizing her, provoking her to anger, and it's working. He keeps going, watching her fight to keep herself level-headed. It slows her responses and her ability to make decisions. It will hopefully give Kyungsoo time to arrive with his hunting party, because if they don't, Jongin, Minseok, and Juhyeon alone will be killed. For all their strength, three wolves cannot fight off six plus the others Jongin can sense crouching in hiding behind the trees. "You're blind to my abilities as Second because all you see me as is a thing to be bred." He wrinkles his nose. "Disgusting."  
"Don't presume to know how we think in our pack," the alpha defends. Jongin rolls his eyes.  
"I don't have to presume," Jongin counters. "A couple sun cycles ago an omega-omega pair fled from your pack to ours, bringing their alpha son with them. They told us how you treat omegas. How their own son used to treat them, how he used to treat me, is testimony enough."  
The five wolves standing behind the alpha shift uncomfortably. Jongin grins. "Don't worry," he tells them. "They're all fine. Alive and healthy. It took a few unfortunate encounters for the pup to learn how to be a respectable alpha, but he's a good wolf now."  
"And when my team of alphas and betas bests your team of one alpha, one beta, and one omega, you'll see that we're just keeping weakness away from the battlefield."  
"The battlefield?" Jongin responds, feigning surprise. "And here I thought we were just having a discussion."  
The alpha hardens her gaze. Her patience has run out, but it doesn't matter. Jongin can ever so slightly smell Kyungsoo coming this way. "We claim this land."  
"It's ours!" Juhyeon snarls.  
"Juhyeon," Jongin speaks in a warning tone. Juhyeon backs down.  
The alpha female huffs out a breath, her lips spreading in a dreadful smile. "We claim this land," she repeats.  
"To where?" Jongin snaps. "Just this clearing? Fine. You can have it. It's yours. Good luck getting to it because the land leading up to it is still ours."  
"From the foothills of the mountains on the rocks you sing on during full moons down to the southern valleys and their creeks," the other pack alpha declares. "That's what we want."  
"That's just beyond the glade," Juhyeon murmurs.  
"I know where it is," Jongin quiets her, but Juhyeon's eyes are sharp, eyebrows slanted down.  
"Second," she hisses. "Those are our hunting grounds." Jongin blinks to hide the widening of his eyes. She's right. She's exactly right. He looks at the other wolves, at their bared teeth. Now that he's looking, he can only just make out the thinness of the alpha female's wrists and the outline of her dead pack mate’s ribs.  
He hardens his expression, eyes narrowed. "No," Jongin asserts. "No, you can't have that. That's ours. Those are our hunting grounds. Those belong to our pack, and they've been in out pack for moons. We will not give them to you."  
The alpha female glares back at him. "I'm not asking you to simply hand them over as a gift. We'll exchange our southern reaches for your western lands."  
Jongin snorts. "You'll give us barren, dry creeks for lands rich in prey. How very generous." He straightens his shoulders, lets his teeth grow into fangs in his mouth. "That you'd ask for that part of our territory specifically tells me only one thing: your pack is dying."  
The alpha snarls. "No," she rebukes. "Our pack is growing." She clears her throat, forcing that same saccharine smile back onto her face. "So, we wish to grow our territory too."  
"Have you been letting the foxes teach you to lie?" Jongin scoffs. "Be brave and walk north into the mountains. There's plenty of unclaimed territory there."  
"The mountains belong to the elder packs. They're sacred," the alpha female argues. Out of the corner of Jongin's eye, he catches Minseok's ears swiveling to face behind him, and Jongin listens as hard as he can. Just under the rustle of the wind through the trees, he can only barely make out what might be his imagination or might be Kyungsoo's paw steps. Jongin grins, feral.  
"If the mountains are sacred to the elder packs.." He raises an eyebrow. "Then these lands are sacred to my pack." He points to the west in the direction of the neighboring pack's lands. "Get out. I'm not giving them up."  
"Then we will take them," the alpha female threatens.  
"Is that a formal challenge?" Jongin demands, and his wolf presses against his skin, ready to break free for a fight. Jongin flexes his fingers.  
The alpha female laughs, high and mocking. "There are seven of us and only three of you. Two really. I wouldn't count an omega."  
This time, it's Juhyeon who barks out a humorless laugh. "You're really going to eat your words," she sneers. She nods her head towards Jongin and bares her teeth at the other woman, a growl in her words. "Or have them torn from your throat."  
"I'll kill you first, alpha," the alpha female returns with the same growl in her voice. "And then I'll kill your Second, and then your Leader. It'll be easy. Seven against three. Such a challenge."  
"Let's not pretend we both don't know there are more members of your pack hiding just behind that treeline," Juhyeon says. "No Alpha or Leader would send a patrol to start a border patrol and not send enough wolves with them for a fight. You have more. They're just behind there."  
The alpha female flicks her fingers, and wolves seem to stream through the trees and bushes until twenty of them stand before Jongin and Juhyeon and Minseok, growling with hackles raised. Jongin is a good fighter; Juhyeon and Minseok are good fighters. But talent and strength can only take a wolf so far when the odds are so overwhelmingly against them.  
"What about you?" the alpha wolf asks. "You look like a border patrol. The rest of your pack is busy with hunting or tending to pups or-"  
"This is your mistake," Jongin tells her. "You caught us patrolling our hunting grounds and demands to take our hunting grounds from us. So who do you think is around here right now?" Jongin watches the shock and rage come over her face as he drops back onto his haunches, shifting into wolf form. He digs his claws into the ground, throws back his head, and howls.  
Juhyeon shifts beside him, and Minseok stalks the short distance from the body of the dead wolf to flank Jongin's other side.  
"It's an official dispute then," the alpha female says, taking a step back. "On my Alpha's orders, we're taking these lands." She looks uneasy as she makes her declaration, but Jongin isn't surprised by that. His low song is joined by Kyungsoo's even lower voice.  
Kyungsoo is here. Beside him, Minseok's tail wags. Leader is here.  
Twenty wolves is more than Kyungsoo's hunting party and Jongin's patrol combined, but neither Minseok nor Juhyeon appear to have even a doubt that they're going to win. This is their home to protect, and protect it they will.  
Jongin sees one of the wolves at the female alpha's side dive forward, and Minseok leaps to meet him, tackling him to the ground. Juhyeon leaps next, taking down another of the wolves in the pack. Jongin's pack members race past him, leaping into the fray. Black fur comes to press against Jongin's side, and Jongin shows his teeth.  
When he leaps forward to tackle the female alpha to the ground, his teeth in her shoulder and her hind paws scrabbling at his belly, Kyungsoo is there to tear through anyone who tries to save her. Jongin snarls, and his teeth snag in her ear. He can taste her blood, and it only drives him to make her bleed more.  
How dare she threaten his pack? How dare her Alpha send her instead of making a claim on their territory himself?  
Coward, Jongin snarls in his head, and his teeth sink deep into the female alpha's neck. He yanks his head back, tearing through her skin. Her blood splashes hot on his chest. He does it again for good measure, ripping through her throat. He rises up to greet the next wolf who dares to attack him, smearing the alpha female's blood on this beta's neck and shoulders with his teeth. At his side, Kyungsoo's fur brushes against his, his snarls ringing in Jongin's ears as they fight together.  
It's when it's over, when Jongin and Kyungsoo are left standing in the middle of the clearing, corpses of wolves at their feet. They bare their teeth at the survivors, watching the tips of their tails disappear beyond the bushes, heading back to their territory. Their pack members growl, snarling and howling in victory in the direction of the other pack's territory.  
Jongin hopes that Alpha hears and knows he's lost.  
Kyungsoo yips at Minseok, and he races off after them, paws silent. Juhyeon runs behind him to cover him, making sure the other pack's wolves all make it back to their territory.  
Kyungsoo's fur still brushes against Jongin's, and Jongin doesn't feel tired at all, doesn't feel that sudden flood of relief after a fight. He feels like he could attacked again and again by the other pack, but he would never go down. As long as Kyungsoo is fighting beside him, protecting him as much as Jongin protects him, he'll be fine.  
Jongin pauses in helping one of his beta pack mates stand up, glancing around for the Leader of his pack. The beta at his side wobbles on three paws, drawing Jongin's attention back to him. He holds his right hind leg gingerly off the ground, and Jongin yips at Juhyeon to come help him stand. He steps away from the beta, Juhyeon taking his place and licking the beta's ears to let him know she's there to help. Jongin looks up to where Kyungsoo stands over the bodies of two wolves, his eyes downcast and his tail drooped.  
Jongin sits down beside him and leans down to press his nose against each of the dead wolves' muzzles in turn. Their blood is sharp and terrible. Kyungsoo lets out the smallest whimper next to him, and Jongin adjusts to sit shoulder to shoulder with the alpha, burying his face in Kyungsoo's neck. This close, he can hear Kyungsoo's crying deep in his throat.  
He wants to tell him it will be okay, that they'll avenge them, but his vocal chords cannot articulate human speech as a wolf. Instead, he leans up and licks Kyungsoo's muzzle. Kyungsoo noses at Jongin's ears in response. Jongin turns, growls and jerks his head at the other wolves present, telling them to leave, to go home.  
As the highest ranked wolf present at the time of these two wolves' deaths, Kyungsoo is the one who will have to tell their families of their passing. Jongin shifts, his chin digging into muscle and fur. It’s not Kyungsoo’s duty to bury them; that task is left for their families. Still, the air hangs hollow with mourning. Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's shoulders. With the other pack members gone, Kyungsoo's crying isn't louder, but it's more physical. He shakes in Jongin's hold, and Jongin sinks his fingers into Kyungsoo's fur.  
"You're not alone," he says. There are multiple things he means with that statement; he hopes Kyungsoo understands them. His arms don't make it all the way around the width of Kyungsoo's wolf form; there's something terrifying about being this vulnerable in front of the other wolf.  
But the terror is not in the fact that Kyungsoo could turn and tear him into thread for mending shirts with a single swipe of his claws, but that he's comfortable here.  
He relies on Kyungsoo; he just doesn't know why it took him so long to realize it.  
Slowly, Kyungsoo's shaking changes from silent sobs to his body morphing from four legs and fur to skin and an openly distraught expression.  
Jongin opens his mouth to say something, thinks better of it, and closes it again.  
"Killing isn't difficult," Kyungsoo whispers. "But protecting is hard." His eyes are red and focused on the two dead wolves in front of them. "I should have been able to save them." His hands come up to hold onto Jongin's arm across his chest. "I should have been able to save them."  
Jongin shakes his head. "Don't disrespect their sacrifice like this," he murmurs. "They fought because this is their home. This land is theirs as much as it is ours. They have families to protect just like we have a pack to protect."  
Kyungsoo bites his lower lip, squeezes his eyes shut. "I always knew this would happen eventually - losing a pack member. I just didn't expect it to hurt."  
Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's hands in his, tangling their fingers together. "Our pack is strong," he says. "We're all bonded together, and you and I - we're what makes it work. So if someone suddenly walks with stars..." He scratches his fingernails across Kyungsoo's knuckles. "It's going to hurt."  
Kyungsoo snorts, tucking his face down to his shoulder to rub his tears away. "Isn't the moon goddess supposed to bless our pack?"  
"But we're the ones who are here," Jongin argues. "We're the ones living this life. She's just - if she's even real - a phantom floating high above us." Kyungsoo is silent then, his eyes closed and his head bowed. If Jongin didn't know any better, he would almost think Kyungsoo is praying, but Jongin knows better. He waits until Kyungsoo is ready to speak, and when Kyungsoo's eyes meet his, they're full of worry and determination.  
"This is only the beginning of this dispute," he says. Jongin nods. "These are only the first deaths." He gestures around the clearing at the bodies both familiar and foreign. All of them are wolves, fur matted and drenched in their own blood. Kyungsoo swallows, adjusting to sit a little taller. "I'm not alone, right?"  
"You're not alone," Jongin confirms. "I'm right here."  
"I need you here," Kyungsoo states. "I'm not - what's a Leader without his Second?"  
"And what's the leadership pair without First?" Jongin continues. "We're going to make it out of this. We're going to win." He takes a deep breath. "Just rely on me."  
"I do," Kyungsoo says. "I have to. I couldn't do anything without you." He quirks a sad little grin. "I know better." He gets to his feet, and he offers a hand to pull Jongin up too.  
"Time?" Jongin asks.  
"Yeah," Kyungsoo says. "We have a couple families to talk to." He doesn't release Jongin's hand, squeezing his fingers tightly. They walk away from the clearing together, and Jongin's stomach twists at the truth that this won't be the last time his pack's blood is shed.  
In these woods, his pack is always fighting to survive. Sometimes, they just have to fight a little harder, and Jongin hopes they're all ready for that.  
~*~  
The evening air fills Jongin's lungs with every breath he drags in. His sides heave, and he lets his tongue loll out of his mouth as he and Kyungsoo trot across the glade together, the last of the pack members trailing off to their own homes, the priests returning to their quarters behind the medicine hut.  
The full moon still glows bright overhead, but the moon song is quieting, Jongin's ears ringing with the blood rushing in his ears and Kyungsoo's breathing rather than the goddess' melody. He stays by Kyungsoo's side, walking with him all the way up to their cabin. Tonight's run was a success; it's so much easier to just run with the pack, their shoulders brushing and bumping. Jongin looks forward to full moons now. There's something incredibly awesome in the power of the whole pack running together; it's even more empowering to be the one leading a strong team of wolves across the expanse of their territory.  
The moonlight stretches across the cabin floor, and Jongin enjoys the resolute clack of his claws over the wood flooring. Behind him, Kyungsoo's claws clicking become the dull thud of bare feet. Jongin shifts too, turning back to Kyungsoo only once he's pulled on a pair of shorts.  
"That's my shirt," he tells Kyungsoo. The alpha wolf glances down at his torso. He shrugs.  
"So?" he says. "This is my home." Jongin swallows. "What's here is mine, you know?"  
Jongin rolls his eyes. "It's the common area, you mean."  
"Well," Kyungsoo begins with an almost teasing grin, "There's a room for us over there, but-"  
"If you really want to wear my shirt just wear it," Jongin interjects before the subject of the room the two of them are supposed to share as a mated pair is opened. "I'm going to go visit my grandma."  
Kyungsoo sobers. "Are you- is something wrong?"  
Jongin shakes his head. "No, I just want to visit my grandmother."  
Kyungsoo reaches out for him, apology plain on his features. "Jongin, wait," he starts. "I was just joking. I know we're not really together. It was a joke, yeah?"  
Jongin exhales. "I'm sincerely not mad," he says, throwing out a bright smile. "I just think I need to visit my grandmother. I've been thinking about it for a few days now." He reaches out and clasps Kyungsoo's shoulder. "I'll be back tomorrow."  
Kyungsoo stares at him, and his fingers close over Jongin's wrist, rubbing his thumb along the soft skin on the underside of his arm.  
"You're going alone?"  
Jongin nods. "Yes," he confirms. "She's my grandmother, Kyungsoo. I'm not exactly walking into another pack's territory." Kyungsoo visibly flinches. "Sorry," Jongin says. "Not funny."  
"Not right now anyway," Kyungsoo agrees. "Who knows when we're going to be attacked next?" Jongin squeezes his shoulder.  
"Anytime," he says. "We don't know. But we'll be ready for it."  
Kyungsoo tightens his grip on Jongin's wrist. "Alright. Get going."  
"Yeah," Jongin says. He draws back and snatches a long-sleeved shirt off the floor, yanking it over his head.  
"Be safe," Kyungsoo requests.  
"Yeah," Jongin repeats, and before he can think better of it, he leans forward and presses his lips to Kyungsoo's cheek. He draws back slow, his lips tingling with the salt on Kyungsoo's skin. Kyungsoo stands suitably frozen, his eyes focused forward in Jongin's direction but not seeing him. His hand falls from Jongin's wrist, and he takes a step back, clearing his throat. The flush on his cheeks is almost cute. "Goodnight," Jongin whispers, and he sidesteps Kyungsoo and all but flees the cabin, grass tickling his bare feet as he runs across the glade.  
It's not the first time one of them had kissed the other; Kyungsoo is fond of kissing Jongin's forehead or resting his mouth against the claim mark on his neck. But this is the first time Jongin has ever touched his lips to Kyungsoo's body, and his chest swells with the knowledge, with the memory of Kyungsoo's shock and blush.  
Really, Kyungsoo's surprised smile, bright and pleased, is something Jongin will never forget.  
He's maybe a little too loud when he shoves open the door to his parents' house, his father's echoing snore halting for a moment before it resumes. He hears his mother give a little sigh, and there's a rustle of fabric as she presumably turns over and returns to sleep.  
"Truly a subtle boy," his grandmother's voice muses from her usual spot in the corner of the common room on a pile of furs. Jongin winces.  
"Sorry," he whispers.  
"Something told me to stay up tonight," his grandmother says. "Maybe the moon told me, or maybe it was instinct." The bright silver of the moon glows in his grandmother's hair. "Come sit."  
Jongin walks forward, dropping to his knees in front of his grandmother. He doesn't give her a chance to show him any signs of submission. He's Second, but she's still wiser than he can ever hope to be.  
"It was a good run tonight," Jongin tells her. His grandmother smiles.  
"I haven't changed on the full moon in sun cycles," she says, glancing up at the moon. She looks so peaceful, most of her wrinkles smoothed out in the dim light. "Haven't been on a run for even longer. These old bones can't take it anymore." She nudges Jongin, winking at his slightly confused expression. "Wolfsbane has its uses, boy," she reminds him.  
"But it hurts," Jongin argues.  
His grandmother's agreeing nod is sage. "But a moment of pain is better than days of suffering severe aches," she says. "I'm too old." She grins, showing off her cracked tooth. "Eighty-two sun cycles is too many to be running and howling like a pup."  
"I'm not a pup," Jongin sniffs.  
"You'll always be a pup to me," his grandmother says. "Just an overgrown one." She ruffles Jongin's hair, and Jongin relaxes into her touch, biting on his lip to hide his grin when his grandmother mutters about him needing to cut his hair again. Jongin just shifts to sit more comfortably beside his grandmother.  
"Why are you here?" the old wolf asks after a few moments of silence. Jongin jerks up from nearly dozing off from the calm feeling of his grandmother's fingers running through his hair.  
"I wanted to talk to you," he answers with a slight hum to his voice.  
"Is everything alright?" his grandmother inquires, and Jongin shifts to stare at her out of the corner of his eye.  
"Does something have to be wrong for me to want to talk?"  
His grandmother chuckles; Jongin's pouts.  
"Maybe not wrong, but comfort is something you can ask for," his grandmother says, her voice washing over Jongin. It's low; the slight warble from her age is soothing. "You never talked to us after you became Second, and you never talked to us after losing your pup."  
Jongin winces. "I came when Kyung- Leader and I couldn't-"  
"Exactly," his grandmother interjects. "When you needed help, when something was wrong, that's when you came home." She smiles. "We're here for you rain or shine, Second." Jongin closes his eyes, ducking his head to hide his smile. "Talk to me," the old wolf requests. "Tell me what has been happening."  
And though Jongin suspects she already knows, he tells her. He talks about the pack and its strength, about the runs and how much fun they are to lead. He tells her about leading mating ceremonies and about Seulgi's early heat. He doesn't talk about Kyungsoo, and his grandmother doesn't urge him to.  
"Jongdae's pregnant," Jongin reveals. "Seungwan is practically walking on air these days."  
"I remember when my friends were starting families," his grandmother recounts with a nostalgic sigh. "I was so desperate to start too." She pats Jongin's cheek. "But your mother, she waited and waited. She also waited until she was midway through her twenties to get mated, and your father was there, waiting for her to be ready the whole time." His grandmother starts to thread her fingers through his hair again, and Jongin relaxes. "It wasn't until your mother was over thirty sun cycles that she decided she was ready to have a pup."  
Jongin narrows his eyes. "I know," he says.  
"But do you know why I'm telling you this?" his grandmother asks. Jongin purses his lips and shakes his head. His grandmother sighs. "Sometimes, boy, it's best to just wait."  
Jongin shakes his head. "I'm not exactly jumping to get pregnant again," Jongin assures her. He crosses his fingers behind his back. Despite his words, if something were to happen, if he were to become pregnant again, Jongin wouldn't be upset about it. Scared, yes; but not upset.  
Kyungsoo wants a family. Is it so bad of Jongin to want one of his own too?  
"I'm relieved to hear that," his grandmother says, and the skepticism in her voice, in her expression as she regards Jongin coolly, is obvious. "Just because you have suffered once, does not mean you will not suffer again."  
"I'm not going to lose another pup," Jongin nearly snaps, swallowing down a growl.  
"I don't think you would intentionally," his grandmother soothes. "But listen to me now, my son. There is a storm coming still. Wait until it passes, and then you will find peace."  
"Do you mean winter?" Jongin asks. "We were lucky last winter."  
"The winter, yes," his grandmother agrees. "The attack on the pack. Anything. A storm does not have to be rain and thunder, Second. You know this." Jongin swallows.  
"I know," he whispers. He's been listening to his grandmother's stories since he was born. He does know.  
"Come, give me your hands," his grandmother urges, reaching out for him. "Let me pray for you." Jongin fits his fingers between hers. The wrinkles on her knuckles are a comfort against the callouses on his own hands. His grandmother's eyes slip closed, and she prays.  
Her words are soothing, and Jongin keeps his eyes wide open to watch her speak, watches her eyes squeeze tighter shut with the intensity of her prayer. It doesn't matter that Jongin himself thinks she's talking to someone who doesn't exist; his grandmother believes in the moon goddess, and her praying for him is just another way she shows him love. The old wolf prays for Jongin's happiness and for his and Kyungsoo's success. She prays for Jongin's lost pup, asking that the moon goddess care for him or her as if the baby were her own. She prays for the safety of the pack, and she prays for Jongin's heart to be well.  
She prays he is protected from lightning, and that the moon goddess look on him with favor. Jongin only barely manages to stop himself from scoffing. Hasn't the moon goddess already shown her favor by leading him to be Second? He rolls his eyes, knowing his grandmother won't see.  
"Hear me, goddess," his grandmother requests, and she lets go of Jongin's hands, opening her eyes. For a moment, they almost appear to glow silver. "Be careful, Jongin," she says, her voice smoothed and rich. Jongin freezes. She used his given name. "What you wish is rarely what the goddess wills."  
Jongin can't breathe. He feels like he's looking at the high priestess' eyes on his grandmother's weathered face.  
"You used my name," he breathes, and he's not sure if he's surprised or warning his grandmother not to do it again. She will never have permission again to use his name, not as long as he's Second.  
His grandmother blinks. "Did I?" she says. Her eyes no longer seem to glow. "I must have been too caught up in my prayer. I apologize, Second." Jongin waves off her apology.  
"It's fine," he articulates slowly, eyebrows furrowed. "I was just... caught off guard."  
"Either way, Second," his grandmother stresses. "Just be warned, alright? The moon goddess is a tricky mistress. Why else would she demand we change forms at her strongest?"  
Jongin stands and bows slightly to his grandmother. "Yes," he says. "I know." He presses a hand to his stomach. His grandmother covers the pack of his hand with her palm.  
"You will find the will to resist, Second," she promises, "when the time is right."  
Jongin nods and swallows thickly. "I'm going to sleep here tonight."  
His grandmother settles back in her furs again. "Go on then," she says. "This house hasn't changed."  
"Goodnight, Grandma," Jongin whispers. "Thank you." He leans down and kisses his grandmother's forehead before he walks into his old room, flopping down on his furs. The silver moonlight trapped in his grandmother's eyes haunts him as he settles down, ready to dream. He doesn't believe in what his grandmother believes in, but he loves how much she believes in him. He twists his fingers in his furs, anchoring himself before a storm can come and sweep him away.  
~*~  
"Leader!"  
The shout rings across the glade, and Jongin quirks a grin as Kyungsoo snorts and startles out of his nap, paws twitching.  
"Hey, Kyungsoo," Jongin sing-songs from his furs. "Someone's looking for you." Kyungsoo gives him a yellow-eyed glare in the dim light of the cabin, and Jongin finishes stretching to reach over and flick the wolf's ear. Kyungsoo snaps his teeth in jest at Jongin's fingers, forcing himself up onto all four paws. He turns and smacks Jongin in the face with his tail, and Jongin gives it a harsh tug in response, cackling at Kyungsoo's yelp.  
"Leader!" rings out again, and this time, Jongin can hear the urgency, the desperation, laced in the tone. His good humor vanishes, and he jumps to his feet, grabbing a pair of Kyungsoo's pants and flinging them in his general direction.  
"Shit," Jongin grits out.  
"Leader," calls out again, and this time the voice is right outside the door to their cabin. "The other pack-!" Jongin recognizes Hoseok's voice. Kyungsoo's eyes go wide.  
"I sent him on patrol this morning," he tells Jongin, hurrying past him to get outside. Jongin follows behind him, bursting through the door.  
"What the hell is going on?" Kyungsoo snarls at Hoseok, and the other alpha wolf dips his head immediately, his shoulders heaving with his breathing. His face is flushed, sweat dripping down his forehead. Panic gleams in his wide eyes.  
"Patrol," he pants. "The pack. They-" He coughs, struggling to get more air into his lungs. "They're here," he says. "Hunting grounds. They want-" He sucks in another breath. "-to talk to you." He bows again. Kyungsoo snaps around to face Jongin, his eyebrows drawn down and mouth set in a grim line.  
"Another attack," he growls.  
Jongin is already pulling off his shirt, leaving it on the ground. He doesn't miss the way Kyungsoo's eyes flick down his torso, and he narrows his own eyes at him. "We knew this would happen," he says. "There's no way they'd make a claim on our territory and let it go after one loss."  
"They didn't say they wanted to fight," Hoseok tries, ever the optimist. "Just to talk to Leader."  
Kyungsoo's gaze doesn't waver from Jongin. "Talking didn't go to well last time," he says. His frown makes an almost perfect downward arch.  
"They came for a fight then," Jongin supplies. "They probably came for a fight now." Kyungsoo's face twists between worry and anger, view flicking between the scars on Jongin's neck and those on his side. "We don't have time to waste sitting around being indecisive," Jongin murmurs low for Kyungsoo's ears only. Kyungsoo's shoulders straighten.  
Kyungsoo nods and turns his attention to Hoseok. "Where?" he demands.  
"A few minutes' sprint," the wolf gets out. He's still breathing hard.  
"The clearing?" Jongin guesses, but Hoseok shakes his head.  
"Closer," he says, and Jongin's hands curl into fists. The clearing is already too close. Closer is deeper into his pack's territory than Jongin ever wants the neighboring pack to tread. Kyungsoo's hand settles on Jongin's lower back in sympathy. Jongin can feel Kyungsoo's rage in the way his hand trembles against his skin.  
"Who's out there right now?" Kyungsoo questions.  
"Junmyeon, Yoongi, Seulgi, and Seulgi's and my mentees," Hoseok recounts.  
"How many from the other pack?" Jongin asks.  
Hoseok wrinkles his nose. "Only three," he says. Jongin gives a skeptical hum.  
"Are there any more behind them?"  
Hoseok shakes his head, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "I circled back behind them to scare any other wolves out," he explains, "but I didn't see any others. Only the three of them."  
That information does not offer Jongin any comfort. "I don't trust that," he says.  
"I don't either," Kyungsoo agrees. Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's elbow.  
"Get First and go," he orders. "And a few more wolves. You need a good fighting force with you in case they're playing some sort of trick. We can't trust that there's really only three of them out there." Hoseok gives an enthusiastic nod in agreement.  
"They're all slightly skittish," he tells them. Kyungsoo's eyes narrow as he processes that. "They say they want to talk, but..."  
"But we know better," Kyungsoo acquiesces. "I will talk to them, but I don't believe for even a minute that that's all that will happen." He shrugs his arm out of Jongin's hold and grabs for Jongin's wrist instead. Hoseok scrambles to get behind Kyungsoo and Jongin, walking after them as Kyungsoo strides down the path that leads to the glade.  
Pack members look up from whatever they're doing when Kyungsoo and Jongin walk past. Their faces turn serious and concerned, sensing the unease. A few of the younger wolves flinch back from Kyungsoo, overly sensitive to his barely contained fury.  
"First!" he shouts. Jongin looks around for Seungwan along the edges of the glade, but he doesn't see her. Kyungsoo doesn't call for her again, and Jongin doesn't echo him. Unless she's gone hunting for Jongdae, she'll have heard. Kyungsoo's voice carries more strength than Jongin has ever heard in it.  
A shiver runs down his spine.  
Kyungsoo marches right up to the front of the rocks at the head of the glade, not bothering to climb them.  
"Leader?" Seungwan calls out, bursting forward from among the gathering wolves. The slight scent of juniper follows her as she walks forward. Jongin glances up towards the medicine hut in time to see Jongdae waddle out, his rounded belly appearing before he does. His hands rest on his stomach protectively, and Jongin is unprepared for the wave of jealousy that envelops him. Kyungsoo beckons Seungwan to come stand next to him, drawing Jongin's attention away from Jongdae.  
"The other pack," Kyungsoo says shortly.  
"Another attack," Seungwan seethes. Her gaze flicks worriedly to Jongdae. Her claws tap against her elbows in agitation.  
"Yes," Jongin confirms. He takes it upon himself to fill Seungwan in in hushed whispers, telling her who is out there and what's waiting for them. "You and Leader need to go and talk to them," he says. "Field any attack."  
"Okay," Seungwan agrees. "We just need to gather an attack party before we can-"  
"Wait," Kyungsoo cuts her off. He angles himself so that he stands directly in front of Jongin, taking all of his attention. Even though the pack is watching, even though they're waiting for the command to move, even though Seungwan can overhear anything that passes Jongin can't see them anymore. His focus is caught entirely by Kyungsoo.  
"I can't go without you," Kyungsoo whispers. "There's no one else I'd rather have by my side in a fight." Jongin's heart thuds in his chest. He wonders if Kyungsoo can hear it. Jongin crosses his arms over his chest.  
"You have to," he asserts. "They don't respect omegas; we found that out last time. My presence won't mean anything to them. They'll want to talk to you and First."  
"I don't care what they think," Kyungsoo says. "I know what you're capable of." Jongin's ears feel warm, but he shakes his head.  
"Let's not give them a chance to laugh, yeah?" Jongin tells him. He jerks his head in Seungwan's direction. "Just go with First." Kyungsoo's frown is stubborn, and Jongin frowns back at him. "Leader," he begins, inciting Kyungsoo’s title to remind him of who he is, what they are. They are the forefront of this pack, the head and the backbone. Kyungsoo's expression immediately softens. "Please."  
"Second," Kyungsoo breathes.  
"I'll be fine here," Jongin states. "I'm Second, you know?"  
"You're stubborn," Kyungsoo mutters, but he turns back to the pack, relenting to Jongin's request. Seungwan nudges Jongin, wiggling her eyebrows. Jongin scowls at her.  
"Our neighbors have decided to make another claim on our hunting grounds," Kyungsoo announces. His words are met with snarls and frustrated howls. "So far, we only know of three wolves on our territory, but we will not be taking any chances." The pack cheers their agreement. "I will lead a team out to meet the intruders," Kyungsoo declares, and wolves immediately buck up to go, raring to fight alongside their leader. "I want a mixed group. Alphas, betas, and omegas. Four of each. And another three wolves of any rank." Kyungsoo flashes Jongin a feral grin. "This pack does not respect omegas, but we will not cater to their beliefs. We know better."  
The roar that answers his claim is deafening. Namjoon and Yixing step forward immediately, and Minseok and Changmin offer their own fighting abilities. As more wolves gather, choosing amongst themselves who will go and who will stay, Jongin pulls Kyungsoo aside.  
"Keep the omegas back," he requests.  
"You don't trust their abilities?" Kyungsoo returns, eyebrow raised.  
"I trust them most," Jongin denies Kyungsoo's question. "If it comes to a fight- when it comes to a fight, they're the ones who will make the difference." Kyungsoo squeezes Jongin's shoulder.  
"I already knew that," he says, and Jongin coughs to have an excuse to look away from the fondness in Kyungsoo's expression.  
"I think your team is ready," Seungwan's voice cuts between the two of them. Kyungsoo gives her a sidelong glance. "I'll get them ready to go," she adds. She bounds over to the team of fifteen wolves, ordering them to shift. Jongdae and another two omegas step forward to gather up the clothes the attack team drops on the ground. Seungwan reaches for her mate, and Jongin looks away from the tender kiss Jongdae presses to her forehead. He grabs Kyungsoo's wrist.  
"Be safe," Jongin urges the alpha wolf. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jongdae tell Seungwan the same thing followed by a reminder that he loves her. The alpha female repeats the words, her hands over Jongdae's on the omega's stomach.  
"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Kyungsoo asks him, twisting his hand in Jongin's grip to run his thumb across the soft skin of Jongin's forearm. "I want you there, Jongin," he murmurs.  
"Want to put me in the line of danger?" Jongin snarks. "I see."  
"That's not what I mean," Kyungsoo refutes.  
"I'll be here when you get back," Jongin promises. "Waiting for your victorious return." Kyungsoo's lips quirk up in a half-smirk half-smile. "Someone has to protect the glade," he goes on. "You take your wolves, and I'll be fine here with the rest."  
Kyungsoo watches him for a long moment. "Just howl if-"  
"Same to you," Jongin says. "Come back," he orders. Alive, he doesn't say. Kyungsoo grabs him then, his arms tight around Jongin's shoulders. Jongin's arms fold naturally around Kyungsoo's waist in return, his face buried in Kyungsoo's neck. He trusts Kyungsoo's ability as a warrior, but in both previous fights with the other pack, they've been together.  
There's always a healthy element of fear before a battle.  
Kyungsoo draws back, gives Jongin one last long look, and strips out of his pants. Jongin folds them over this, watching the large, black wolf take the lead of the line of fighters. Seungwan steps into place behind him, her gray fur looking closer to silver in the sunlight. Kyungsoo barks at Hoseok to take the lead ahead of him, leading them back to the other pack's wolves who wish to 'talk.'  
Jongin watches them walk all the way out of the glade, the line of wolves disappearing beyond the trees, heading out to the west. He sees Yixing's tail disappear and sighs into the silence of the glade. The only sounds now are breathing and quiet footsteps, hushed murmurs breaking up the scent of uncertainty that's taking up the extra space left by those who've gone to meet the other pack.  
A touch on Jongin's shoulder startles him, and he jerks around to face Jongdae.  
"They're gonna be okay," Jongdae whispers, nodding in the direction Kyungsoo and Seungwan went. "Leader and Second in one party? The other pack better have brought out their best wolves or they won't make it back home."  
"Hoseok said they only brought three," Jongin whispers. "I'm more scared they're about to walk into an ambush." Jongdae stares at him, and Jongin blinks, rethinking what he just said. "Shit," Jongin breathes.  
Jongdae's nods solemnly. "Yeah," he agrees. "Shit."  
"How likely is it that we're the ones about to be ambushed?" Jongin asks his friend, and Jongdae's worry is clear in the slant of his eyebrows.  
"They definitely has us weakened," he muses. "If the glade is what they're after..." He trails out. Jongin clenches his fists.  
"Then they're coming here expecting only omegas," he says. Jongdae grins at that.  
"Like omegas can't rip their fucking throats out," he sneers. His cruel expression breaks into a laugh, and he pats his belly. "But I guess I can't be involved in that right now."  
"You're basically useless," Jongin agrees. He jostles Jongdae's shoulder.  
"Excuse you," Jongdae sniffs. "I'm trying to help you figure out that we're basically sitting ducks right now." He gestures to the rest of the pack. "Are you gonna tell them or what?"  
"Where's Chanyeol?" Jongin demands by way of answer. Jongdae shrugs.  
"I saw him bringing in food for his grandparents earlier," Jongdae answers. "But I didn't talk to him or anything. Why?"  
"I need speed," Jongin answers. It be easiest to alert everyone of potential danger with a howl, but if Jongin howls, Kyungsoo will come rushing back, and all of their safety could be in jeopardy.  
Jongdae pouts. "I'm the fastest wolf in this pack!" he whines.  
"You can't shift right now," Jongin snaps. "And I can't put you at risk. Your life isn't just yours."  
Jongdae scowls. "Let me help, Second," he pleads. "I'm pregnant, not paralyzed."  
Jongin sighs. He's right. "Okay," he concedes. "Just let me find Chanyeol, and then we'll-"  
"I'm here, Second," Chanyeol's deep voice answers before Jongin can finish speaking. His gaze is hard. "I overheard," he says, pointing vaguely towards where his . "If we're in danger here, then we need to get everyone who can't fight somewhere where those of us who can can protect them."  
"Can you go and gather everyone?" Jongin requests, and Chanyeol dips his head.  
"I will," he says. "But the glade doesn't provide much cover."  
"Bring them to the medicine hut," Jongdae says. "I'll be waiting there for everyone." Jongin stares at him. "What?" Jongdae defends. "I said I'm going to help, and by the moon, I will. You're Second, but this is my pack too."  
Jongin exhales. "Then," he begins, "will you also tell the priests what's happening and to make room?" Jongdae's face cracks into a wide grin.  
"Sure, Second," he says. "Definitely." He hurries off then, and Jongin grabs Chanyeol's arm before he can rush off as well.  
"Tell anyone who is able to fight to come to me," he orders. "And don't tire yourself out. I need you to fight too, if it comes to that."  
Chanyeol's eyes blaze. "I have no doubt we're about to be in a fight," he states, voice low. Jongin nods his head in solemn agreement.  
"Go," he tells Chanyeol. "Don't worry about anyone around the glade. I'll take care of it." Chanyeol strips his shirt over his head and bursts into wolf form, leaving behind the fabric of his pants.  
Jongin keeps his ears and eyes open for anything unusual as he hurries around to any wolves waiting around the glade, urging them to help the children and the elderly to the medicine hut to hide.  
"Everyone else needs to find places to hide around the hut," Jongin orders. "Some at the rocks and other scattered around the glade. If we are going to be attacked, we don't want our full power to be seen right away." It's something Minseok had always taught Jongin back when he was training for the tournament. "If they're overconfident, then we've already taken the advantage." When Chanyeol returns, a few dozen wolves behind him, Jongin relays the same orders, and Jongdae and Hyejin stand at the entrance to the medicine hut, promising those entering that they will be safe.  
Pride swells in Jongin's chest as he watches his pack work together to protect themselves. He's carrying a two-suns-of-age pup, the little boy's face buried in Jongin's neck.  
"Are we die?" the boy asks, his voice wobbling. Jongin pats his back, quieting him as he approaches the medicine hut.  
"No," he answers. "Be brave, and they'll be too scared to touch you. Can you do that for me?" The boy sniffs, pulling back. His chubby fingers pass over the scars on Jongin's neck.  
"Scars," he whispers, a bit of awe in his voice as he pokes at them. Jongin laughs.  
"Yes," he says.  
"You get more?" the pup asks. "In fight?"  
"We don't want to fight, kiddo," Jongin tells him. "But if we do, I'll be careful." The boy narrows his eyes before deciding Jongin's words are acceptable.  
"Jiseob," his mother appears through the door. "Stop bothering Second. Come here." Jiseob turns in Jongin's arms, reaching out for his mother. The omega wolf takes him, cradling him to her. "Thank you, Second," she murmurs to Jongin before she disappears inside. Jongdae and Hyejin step outside in her place.  
"Pups always love you," Jongdae laughs at him. Jongin shrugs.  
"Be careful or yours will like me more than you," he teases.  
"As if," Jongdae scoffs. "You're never gonna love my pups more than me." His good-natured smile turns a bit sad, and he leans in towards Jongin. "But I'm glad to know that if anything happened to me, you'd make sure they were well-loved in my stead."  
Hyejin smacks his arm. "Why are you talking like that?" she demands. "Who's going out there to fight anyway, omega?"  
Jongdae snorts. "You say that like you aren't one."  
"Just get inside so I can protect you properly," Jongin sighs at him. Jongdae cackles. Jongin grumbles at him.  
"Don't forget my fellow priests and I will protect everyone here too," Hyejin promises. "But we will stay hidden until you need us."  
"Thank you," Jongin tells her. He tugs off his pants and shoves them into Jongdae's hands, dropping down onto all fours. His shakes, orienting himself with his wolf form. Hyejin bows to Jongin and retreats into the medicine hut. Jongdae runs his fingers through Jongin's fur.  
"Don't die, yeah?" Jongdae murmurs, tugging at Jongin's ear. Jongin releases a little growl, snapping his jaws at Jongdae's hands. At this height, Jongdae's swollen belly is at eye level. Jongin noses at it, and Jongdae laughs, fingers buried in Jongin's scruff.  
"I'm gonna be fine," he addresses Jongin's worry. "I have another moon to go before this one's ready to greet the day." Jongin shows his teeth. "I'm going; I'm going." He pokes Jongin's nose and turns to enter the medicine hut.  
Stillness follows Jongdae's departure, the glade silent. Anticipation has a sharp tang on Jongin's tongue.  
He turns away from the hut, walking up to Chanyeol and Sehun where they stand in the middle of the glade. Jongin scans his surroundings, breathing slowly to calm his heartbeat. He needs to be able to hear clearly. Any noise could be the only warning they have before they're attacked.  
Jongin wishes fervently that the next sound he hears is Kyungsoo's triumphant howl.  
The wind blows, rustling the leaves, and Jongin can make out of the scuttle of rodent claws on the ground, the the brook babbling down along the southern edges of their camp. A bird caws in the distance, and a twig snaps underfoot just outside the treeline of the glade.  
Jongin's head snaps to his right. He whines low, commanding Sehun to shift and alerting both Chanyeol and his old training partner to the noise. His heart hammers in his chest, the roar of blood in his ears distracting. But nothing can draw his attention away from the bushes underneath the far trees on the northern side of the glade bulging out, wolves stepping out from the foliage.  
Jongin bares his teeth, snarling, explaining without words exactly how unwelcome this pack is. The wolves step forward, just three at first, and then more of them, bleeding from between the trees until Jongin, Chanyeol, and Sehun are surrounded. Jongin's hackles raise, his fur lifted across his back.  
There's no need for words. There's no need to give an order to wait. The other pack is here. The attack is upon them.  
Just howl if-  
Jongin does. He throws back his head and sings clear and loud to the sky.  
The other pack's wolves snarl, circling around Jongin and the other two omegas. Their sneers are mocking. Three omegas won't be much of a challenge, but that's not because the three of them can't more than hold their own in a fight.  
Jongin bares his teeth. These wolves are fools to attack them in the heart of their home; these wolves have no idea that in Jongin's pack, everyone is trained to protect. The first wolf that appeared walks with his head high, his tail straight. He's an alpha, and Jongin watches as the wolves with him regard him carefully for orders. So this is the Alpha himself, come to take Jongin's pack and land from him.  
Jongin takes one step forward to show his own place as Second. The Alpha's attention swivels to focus on Jongin alone, and the urge to fight, to tear through this wolf until his blood stains Jongin's paws, surges through Jongin. He barks once, and the wolves hidden around the edges of the glade, surge forward, attacking the wolves surrounding Jongin, Chanyeol, and Sehun from behind.  
Jongin locks eyes with the Beta, and they both dive forward, claws and teeth out and flashing. The Beta hits Jongin hard, startling a yelp from Jongin as he's thrown back into the ground. The Beta tackles him, diving for Jongin's neck, and Jongin twists. The Beta's teeth catch his shoulder, and Jongin snaps his own around the Beta's foreleg. The Beta yowls, letting go of Jongin's shoulder, giving him just enough to get to his paws underneath him. He leaps after the Beta, landing hard on his back with his claws dug deep into the wolf's skin. They roll with Jongin's momentum, and Jongin takes the opportunity to get his teeth in the Beta's neck.  
Another wolf bowls into Jongin from the side, knocking him clear of her Beta, and Jongin doesn't discriminate. He engages her instead, tearing through her ear with his teeth and growling in satisfaction when he sees Chanyeol slash a red line across the Beta's flank.  
Blood splatters across the grass in the glade. It feels like the whole of the neighboring pack's alphas and betas have come to attack them, and Jongin hopes Kyungsoo and his team aren't facing an ambush like this. Jongin gets his teeth in the back of his opponent's neck, biting down hard. The wolf beneath him goes limp, and Jongin doesn't bother to wait to see if she's playing dead or actually dead. He turns and launches himself on another wolf, leaving him bloodied and beaten before snarling at the Alpha again.  
The huge wolf, fur almost as dark as Kyungsoo's, meets Jongin with his teeth bared in a smirk. and Jongin barks at him, forcing his voice as rough as it can be. The Alpha's ears twitch back, and Jongin folds his own flat back against his head, his fur still fluffed out. He takes a step right, mirroring the Alpha, and they circle each other in the middle of a full out fight in the glade. Jongin doesn't watch his back; he doesn't need to. His pack will make sure he's safe.  
Hyejin's sandy form leaps over Jongin, and his heart pounds with pride. Even the priests have come out to fight. The sky is cloudless and blue, and the moon, almost full, is showing her face. The Alpha wolf snarls, and Jongin surges forward. He crashes into the Alpha, knocking them both to the ground. He tastes fur and grass and blood in his mouth, ignoring the burn of the Alpha's claws across his belly as they tussle. The Alpha wolf kicks out, and Jongin rolls away, pushing himself up. He pants hard, his sides heaving.  
A howl rings across the glade, and Jongin waits until the Alpha has looked up to follow the sound he recognizes. He hears it every full moon.  
Kyungsoo's howl.  
The alpha wolf stands at the crest of the glade, the team he'd taken with him gathered around him, all with their teeth bared and growls ringing low in their chests.  
The other pack's wolves freeze, howling and snarling. Kyungsoo barks, ordering his pack to stand down. Jongin stays where he is, watching the Alpha in case he decides to attack. His pack members stay still, and the other pack's eyes are focused behind Kyungsoo. The Leader of Jongin's pack howls again, and Jongin has to swallow back his return cry. The fight is not yet won, but Kyungsoo is singing a song of victory.  
Seungwan steps out from behind Kyungsoo, dragging a body behind her, bloodied scruff caught in her teeth, sandy fur almost died red with the amount of blood still seeping from open wounds. Blood is splashed along her sides, and Jongin wonders just how much of it is hers. Her front paws are completely soaked, and she stops in clear view of the other pack's Alpha.  
The snarls from the other pack turn to wails of mourning and growls of loathing. Seungwan snaps her teeth at one of the other pack's betas, standing over the body of his Beta.  
The Alpha roars, surging forward to attack Seungwan, and Jongin barks an order for all wolves present to stand down. The Alpha leaps forward, but it's not Seungwan he meets in the middle.  
Kyungsoo is there, his eyes flashing as he rears up on his hind paws to fight. Leader and Alpha collide, hackles raised and teeth bloodied as they tear into each other. A victory for Kyungsoo means the destruction of the other pack; a victory for the Alpha means Jongin's death, means death for his whole pack.  
Jongin's heart skips a beat when the Alpha gets a good grip on Kyungsoo's throat, but then the Alpha is reeling back, his ear shredded and seeping blood. Kyungsoo dives after him, and it almost feels like the sun has slowed in its path across the sky as the Alpha falls. Kyungsoo's steps on the Alpha's front elbow and closes his teeth around his foreleg. The clear snap of bone splinters in Jongin's ears, and the Alpha's resounding wail rises above the anxious whines from his pack.  
He snaps at them, warning them to stay back, and his moment of distraction is his end. The Alpha's eyes go wide and panicked, Kyungsoo's teeth in his neck, and Kyungsoo bites, drawing back. Blood splatters across Kyungsoo's face, and he does it again and again until the Alpha's gurgling turns to silence.  
Kyungsoo spins around, his teeth bared and stained, ready to face whoever may attack him next, but the other pack is frozen, looking between each other for instruction. In the glade, both their Alpha and Beta lay dead. A warning bark rings from one of Jongin's pack members, and the other pack turns and flees from the glade, tails tucked between their legs.  
Jongin's pack runs after them, barking and snarling, chasing them off their territory. He howls after them, Kyungsoo's voice joining his, the victory and warning in their song twining and rising together.  
They've won. Kyungsoo won. It might not be over. The other pack could still regroup, but they'll have to take time to recover. Wolves pour from the medicine den, pups running around cheering, mothers crying in relief for their safety. Some wolves drop to their knees, praising the moon goddess, thanking her for the leadership pair. Jongin sees his own grandmother praying, his parents and uncles beside her. They're a little scraped up too from their own fights, but they look fine. Alive.  
Jongin's grandmother catches his eye, and she falls down slowly on the grass, bowing to him, bowing to Kyungsoo. Around the glade, the rest of the pack present joins in, recognizing their Leader's power. Jongin walks up to Kyungsoo, ducking his head. Instead of showing his place as Leader, Kyungsoo leans down with him, brushing his nose along Jongin's neck and along the claim scars parting his fur.  
Jongin licks over Kyungsoo's ear in response, and he doesn't even mind the taste of blood. Kyungsoo is alive; the pack is alive.  
Jongin closes his eyes and shifts. The blood on the grass squishes between his toes, but he doesn't care. He opens his eyes to see Kyungsoo in human form across from him, the two of them standing face to face in the middle of the glade, dressed in nothing but battle scars and the blood of their opponents.  
"You're alive," Kyungsoo breathes, voice tremendously relieved.  
"I told you I wasn't going to die," Jongin responds in the same tone.  
"I followed your orders," Kyungsoo continues. "I didn't die either."  
"Yeah," Jongin murmurs. "You didn't." Kyungsoo takes a step closer to him, reaching out. His thumb brushes across Jongin's cheek, wiping away a happy tear. "We won," Jongin whispers.  
"We won," Kyungsoo echoes. "And without casualties." His thumb runs across Jongin's cheek, and Jongin's breath hitches. Kyungsoo's other arm circles his waist, and Jongin's hands fall into Kyungsoo's hair.  
They crash together, and Jongin doesn't even mind the iron flavor on Kyungsoo's tongue. He's sure it's on his own, still stained on his lips. Kyungsoo sighs against his mouth like he's been waiting for this, and Jongin revels in how tightly Kyungsoo holds him, pulling him in tighter. This kiss is victory, presented for everyone to see, and Kyungsoo kisses Jongin harder, taking all he has to offer and giving back twice as much.  
The pack cheers around them, and Jongin is breathing hard when he draws back.  
"We won," Kyungsoo says again, and Jongin breaks into a grin, his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders. Kyungsoo is smiling at him too, his eyes curved up. Like this, right now, he's every bit the Leader Jongin has ever wanted him to be.  
"Oi, Second," Jongdae's voice interrupts. Jongin looks over at him holding out two pairs of pants. "Put these on. Come on." Jongin laughs, taking the clothing from his friend and passing a pair to Kyungsoo.  
"We've got a lot of cleaning up to do," Jongin mutters, and Kyungsoo shrugs.  
"We'll get to it," he says. "But tonight," he turns to the pack, "we celebrate!" The cheers are thunderous, and in the distance, the resounding echoing howls of the rest of their pack reach them from across the territory.  
Jongin's face almost hurts from the force of his smile, and he glances over towards his family. He meets his grandmother's eyes, and he does not see any celebration there. Her eyes are shadowed and worried; her disapproval like another set of claws stuck in Jongin's chest. If he squints, her eyes look silver.  
Jongin looks away quickly, taking in the bodies of the wolves of the other pack, scattered around the glade. His grandmother's fear is unfounded; the remnants of the storm are lying here around them. This is the calm; this is what Jongin has been waiting for. His grandmother always wanted him and Kyungsoo to be a real pair; why would she reject their development now? Jongin allows the effort of sending out hunting parties and burying the corpses to distract him, and he delights in the way Kyungsoo smiles at him every time they pass each other.  
It feels like they're preparing to celebrate for two reasons tonight, and victory tastes even sweeter.  
~*~


	3. Chapter 3

~*~  
There is no noise throughout the rest of the month from the other pack, and fall comes in with red and orange and frost on the grass. The river runs colder, but it's not quite the time of sun cycle to need to wear furs around. The sun is still hot during the day, and Jongin doesn't expect to see snow for another two moons.  
Jongin picks dirt out from underneath his nails and flops back on the outcropping of rock at the head of the glade. The rock face on the ledge is sun-warmed, and Jongin tugs off his shirt to get that warmth directly against his pack.  
"You look like a cougar," Seungwan snorts, "sunning like that." Jongin cracks one eye open and squints at her.  
"It's nice," he says. "You should try it."  
"I'm a wolf," she scoffs. "Not a cat."  
Jongin props himself up on his elbows. "Just relax, yeah?" He tugs on her arm, pulling Seungwan to lay down beside him. "You deserve to relax. You've been on edge ever since the ambush."  
Seungwan sighs, head pillowed on her arms. "This is nice," she says.  
"Seriously," Jongin presses. "We haven't caught even a faded scent of the other pack in almost a moon."  
"Which I'm more than grateful for," Seungwan stresses. She rolls over onto her stomach, facing Jongin. Her expression is still tightly wound, the tension in her shoulders uneased. "I'm more worried about Jongdae."  
Jongin frowns. "Is he sick?"  
Seungwan shakes her chin, resting her chin on her arm. "I don't think so," she replies, finally relaxing just a bit. She sighs. "He hasn't been sleeping much lately. I guess he's nervous." She hums and cracks one eye open at Jongin. "I am too," she admits.  
"But you're excited," Jongin says. Something curls in his stomach, and he chooses to ignore it.  
"Yeah," Seungwan says. "I'm excited to meet him or her. I'm excited to have a family. I just-" She exhales hugely. "It could be any day now. I know I'm not ready." She laughs a little bit. "But my mother told me that you're never ready for your first pup. You just learn as you go along." She stretches out her arms, the muscles in her back flexing. "And my mother also said that those who think they're ready for a kid never are. So, I'm just gonna say I'm not ready."  
Jongin pushes himself up into a sitting position. "What am I even here for? You're giving yourself all the advice you needed."  
Seungwan shifts to sit too. "Who said I came for advice?" she jokes. "I just came to relax." Jongin snorts and shoves at her. Seungwan laughs loud and long, and she really does look relaxed.  
"As long as you're feeling good, First," he drawls and drops back to lounging on the ledge. He doesn't keep track of how long they sit there, watching the day pass with the lazy rustle of early autumn breezes. Jongin dozes off a few times, jerking awake to Seungwan trying to shove a fallen leaf up his nose.  
"You're a pup," Jongin grumbles at her.  
"You'e the one who told me to relax," she counters and promptly drops a handful of leaves on Jongin's chest. Jongin shouts, grabbing up his own handful and throwing them back at the alpha female.  
"Go bother Jongdae," Jongin whines, and Seungwan pouts at him.  
"Aren't we friends?" she says, echoing Jongin's whine. Her pout deepens into a concerned pout. "Jongdae told me not to bother him today."  
Jongin's eyes widen. "Oh," he breathes. Seungwan's eyebrows furrow.  
"What?" she demands. Jongin's eyes are still wide, almost burnng in the bright late afternoon sun.  
"It's today," he says.  
"Well it's certainly not last week all of a sudden," Seungwan sneers. Jongin sits up and grabs her arm.  
"No, you don't get it," he says. He dives into his explanation before Seungwan can voice her offense. "Most omegas choose to whelp alone without their mates around."  
Seungwan freezes. "What?" she whispers, blinking rapidly as if that will help her understand.  
"Stay here," Jongin orders, but he doesn't really expect Seungwan to listen. He jumps up from the ledge and scrabbles down the sides of the rock. He sprints for the medicine hut, nearly crashing into Hyejin when he dives inside.  
"Second?" she questions, alarm clear in her voice. "Are you alright?"  
"Is Jongdae here?" Jongin asks by way of answer. "He should be here." Hyejin lifts an eyebrow.  
"Not since two days ago," she responds. "We keep expecting him to come in here one of these days without First, but he just-" Hyejin stops talking. She looks up at Jongin. "Where is First right now?"  
"She's been with me all day," Jongin says. Hyejin's eyes go wide, and Jongin can practically see the sense of urgency come over her.  
"Yongsun," she shouts, jogging off down the hall leading towards the priests' chambers. She glances back at Jongin. "Wait here," she orders, and although Jongin outranks her, he listens. This is out of his realm of expertise. Hyejin disappears for only a few moments before she's jogging back, another three priestesses close behind her. All of them have bags slung over their shoulders, the scent of herbs wafting from them.  
"Yongsun, you're older sister was Jongdae's mentor. How well do you know him?" Hyejin is asking as they make their way over to Jongin.  
"Only well enough that I'm surprised he's not here if his pup is on the way," the beta answers. Her focus switches to Jongin. "Second, do you know where he lives?"  
"Seun- First is outside," Jongin says. He hesitates at the exit. "What if she follows?"  
"It probably doesn't matter at this point," one of the other priestesses says with a shrug. "Once the baby is born, he'll probably want her there."  
"Wheein, please," Yongsun hisses, a grin still bright on her face. "That's why Byulyi is here," she explains to Jongin, nudging the fourth priestess with her shoulder. "Alpha priestesses have their uses, I guess." Byulyi scowls at Yongsun who pokes her cheek.  
"Anyway," Hyejin starts, leading the way out of the medicine hut, "Can you lead us to where Jongdae lives, Second?" Jongin nods.  
"Follow me." He takes off at a brisk jog, and the four wolves follow him. Jongin doesn't listen to their conversation about birthing procedures; he doesn't need all the gritty details. He just needs to make sure Jongdae and his pup are okay.  
Jongin marches up to Jongdae and Seungwan's small cabin hidden a little ways from the glade. He doesn't bother to knock, shoving the door open and storming inside.  
"Jongdae!" he calls out, and a sharp, pained gasp answers him. Jongin's gaze snaps to the right where Jongdae is laying curled up on his furs. His face shines with sweat, and his fingers are clenched in his furs. His knuckles are white, and his lip appears to be almost bitten through. "Jongdae..." Jongin exhales, and he rushes to his friend's side, sliding onto his knees.  
"The pup," Jongdae starts, breathing labored and expression twisted in pain. "I tried to get to the-" He swallows hard against the pain. "The medicine hut. I tried but. I- I couldn't-" His eyes squeeze shut. "Nini...Second..."  
Jongin grabs Jongdae's hand, smoothing his fingers over Jongdae's knuckles. "I brought help," he whispers.  
"Jongdae," Hyejin says, and Jongdae's eyes flutter before he manages to focus on her. "Wheein, Yongsun, and I are going to help you, okay?" She motions for the other priestesses to come forward, and Jongdae glances back to see Byulyi never even came in.  
"She's guarding the door," Wheein explains when she catches him looking.  
"Okay, Jongdae," Yongsun says in a soothing voice. "Are you ready to greet your pup?" Jongdae squeezes Jongin's hand, and Jongin is pretty convinced his bones will shatter if Jongdae's grip tightens anymore.  
"Yes," he wheezes.  
"Okay," Yongsun continues. "Just follow my instructions. Can you do that?" On either side of her, Hyejin and Wheein are pulling things from their bags. Yongsun's fingers tug on the ties holding Jongdae's pants closed, and Jongin glances away, watching Jongdae's face.  
"Scared of an omega's birth canal?" Jongdae tries to tease, but his wincing in pain ruins the humor in it.  
"I have all the same parts, you brat," Jongin snarks. He brushes his fingers through Jongdae's hair. "You look really ugly right now."  
"Yeah?" Jongdae pants. "Let's see you try to look any better when this is - ow - you trying to - fuck!" Jongdae cuts out his words in favor of breathing hard through his nose. Jongin's fingers feel like they're about to snap.  
"Okay, Jongdae, hold on just a little longer," Wheein murmurs. "It's almost time."  
"Time has never moved so slowly," Jongdae groans. He tugs on Jongin's hand. "Don't let Seungwan in here, okay?"  
Jongin scrunches his nose. "I know," he says. "But she's not even here right-"  
"I can't let you in," Byulyi's voice interrupts from outside the cabin, and Seungwan's frustrated shout responds.  
"I knew she was here," Jongdae hisses. He tugs on Jongin's hand again. "Please don't let her in."  
"I'll go talk to her," Jongin promises. "Are you alright here?"  
"I have three priests and my own furs," Jongdae says as coolly as he can. "I'll be fine." Jongin gets up.  
"Come get me whenever he gives you the okay," he orders the priestesses, and they all dip their heads to him. Jongin makes to open the door to Jongdae and Seungwan's cabin, but Seungwan is right there, already trying to storm her way inside.  
"Wait!" Byulyi grits out, her grip on Seungwan slipping. Jongin launches himself out the door, tearing Seungwan out of Byulyi's arms and tackling her to the ground.  
"Second!" Seungwan screeches. "What the fuck-!"  
"Byulyi, please go in and make sure the others don't need anything," Jongin requests over Seungwan's enraged voice. Byulyi hesitates. "I got her," Jongin tells her. "Please go inside." Seungwan breathes hard, struggling to upheave Jongin's weight.  
"Jongdae's in there!" Seungwan snarls. Jongin tightens his hold on her, keeping her trapped on the ground.  
"I know!" he counters. "But let him do this alone like he wants. Your presence will just stress him out more."  
"He needs me!" Seungwan screams.  
"He needs you to trust him!" Jongin argues. Seungwan snaps at him, and Jongin snaps his teeth at her, just barely grazing her ear. The fight all but flees Seungwan's body, and she slumps back against Jongin. "The priests will keep him and your pup safe," he promises his First.  
"I'm the other parent!" Seungwan tries. "I should-"  
"I already told you omegas like to whelp alone," Jongin snaps. "Can you just listen to me? I'm an omega. I'm the omega in charge of the rest of them in this pack." Seungwan seethes, and Jongin just holds her until she's calm. He sympathizes with her; he's seen alphas and betas lose their minds anxiously waiting for their mates to give birth plenty of times, their nerves turning to uncontrolled aggression.  
Seungwan's fingers relax in the grass, and Jongin slowly lets her sit up. He keeps his hand tight around her wrist in case she jumps up and tries to get in again.  
"I'm just..." Seungwan inhales a shaky breath. "How didn't I know this is why he asked me to go? How long was he here in pain like this?" She presses the heels of her hands against her eyes, her lower lip trembling.  
"He's fine," Jongin tells her, dragging the alpha female into a hug. "He's going to be fine. They're going to be fine. Just wait."  
"I love him so much," Seungwan whispers against Jongin's shoulder. He pats her back.  
"He loves you too," he says. "But he looks pretty ugly right now anyway. You might accidentally fall out of love if you saw him."  
"Shut up," Seungwan graons. "This waiting is killing me."  
The sky has gone completely dark, the new moon providing no light, when Byulyi steps out of the cabin. "You can come in now," she says. Seungwan is on her feet in a flash.  
"Jongdae," she breathes, and she rushes forward, Jongin close behind her. First slows  
"Go on," Jongin enocurages her, and he pushes at her back until she takes that first step inside. He clearly hears her heart stutter in her chest, her breath stolen away.  
"Seungwan," Jongdae sing-songs. He sounds tired but happy. "Aren't you going to come here and greet your sons?" Jongin nearly bursts into a laugh at the jerky nod of Seungwan's head and the way she stumbles forward, all but collapsing in front of Jongdae.  
"S-sons," she stutters.  
"Twins," Jongdae muses. "Who would have guessed?"  
"Goddess, Jongdae," Seungwan breathes. "They're beautiful."  
"Aren't they?" he whispers, reverent.  
"Healthy too," Wheein chimes in.  
"And apparently well behaved," Hyejin adds, "but I wouldn't count on that lasting."  
"Crying means they're healthy though," Yongsun says, helping the other two gather up their equipment and clean up.  
"But don't hesitate to bring them in to the medicine hut if anything seems wrong," Byulyi orders. "Congratulations, new parents!" She smiles then; Jongin had almost wondered if she even could.  
"Congratuations!" the other three repeat.  
"Thank you for coming out here," Jongin says to them each in turn as they pass him. Seungwan echoes him and bows to them, but her eyes never leave her pups or her mate.  
"What do you want to name them?" Seungwan asks once the priestesses are gone. In this cabin right now, the world consists of only First and her mate and their pups. Jongin can't help but feel like an intruder on a private moment. The awful feeling in his stomach twists tighter and burs hotter. It's a feeling Jongin knows well: jealousy. This is what he should already have: a pup. He bites his lower lip.  
"I'm going to leave," he announces, standing. Jongdae looks up at him in surprise. His eyes are tired but bright.  
"Thank you, Second," he says, and then he's completely enraptured by his sons again. Jongin pats his friend's shoulder and squeezes Seungwan's.  
"Congratulations," he says again. "Take care of him."  
"All of them," Seungwan agrees, and Jongin dives out of their cabin before he has to witness the new parents kiss.  
~*~  
"I thought I might find you here," Kyungsoo's voice interrupts Jongin's staring contest with the river. The water hasn't stopped moving for even a second, the stars twinkling in its surface, and Jongin fancies he won the contest. He hasn't blinked. His eyes sting.  
"I thought I might be able to get lost here," Jongin says in return. "But I should have known you'd look here."  
"You didn't come back to the cabin this afternoon," Kyungsoo begins. He sits down next to Jongin as the water's edge. "I was worried."  
"Jongdae whelped his pups," Jongin answers, dangling a hand over the riverbank. The water is cool, but it's not yet too cold for swimming.  
"Pups?" Kyungsoo echoes.  
"Twin boys," Jongin elaborates. "An alpha and a beta."  
"I'm sure Seungwan is over the moon," Kyungsoo tries, voice lilting. Jongin just sighs, trying to hold back the jealousy sitting heavy in the pit of his stomach.  
"She couldn't take her eyes off of them or Jongdae," Jongin tells him. "It was really perfect."  
Kyungsoo's hand pauses its ministrations on Jongin's back. "Jongin," Kyungsoo murmurs, halting. "Don't close yourself off from-"  
"Let's take a swim," Jongin blurts out, standing abruptly. "I haven't had one in awhile." He doesn't wait for Kyungsoo's response, ridding himself of his clothes and leaving them in a messy pile on the river bank. He ignores the cold of the river and splashes in, keeping a firm grip on the rocks scattered through the current to keep himself from being carried downstream.  
Kyungsoo lets out a long sigh. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," he says. "Just tell me that instead of running away." Jongin chooses to splash water on his face and run his fingers through his hair instead of acknowledging Kyungsoo's request.  
"Are you coming in or not?" he calls. "The water's not that bad."  
Kyungsoo worries his lip, his fingers curled in the hem of his shirt. "Do you really want to swim or are you just changing the subje- Jongin!" Jongin laughs, loud and long, watching water drip down Kyungsoo's front, his hair hanging in his eyes. He draws back his arms to splash him again, and Kyungsoo bares his teeth. "Don't you fucking dare," he snarls, crouching, and Jongin dares.  
Kyungsoo dives into the water, tackling Jongin underneath the surface. They come up gasping for air, arms locked in a fierce fight to keep their heads above water. Jongin hooks an ankle around the back of Kyungsoo's leg and pulls, but he over anticipates Kyungsoo's resistance, and the two of them splash underneath the surface again. Jongin's spluttering when he comes back up, but still laughing as Kyungsoo growls at him. His back hits one of the boulders partially submerged in the river, and he shouts at the shock of cold against his back.  
"Pinned," Kyungsoo says, grabbing Jongin's wrists and holding them over his head. Jongin can feel the alpha wolf's chest heaving against his own. Kyungsoo's forearm is braced over Jongin's neck. "I think I win."  
Jongin raises an eyebrow. "Don't think so much," he warns, and he ignores the pressure against his windpipe and uses Kyungsoo's proximity against him, wrapping one leg around the backs of Kyungsoo's thighs and reeling him in. Jongin catches Kyungsoo's bottom lip between his teeth. Kyungsoo tenses, and then he relaxes, molding himself against Jongin. His touch softens from a fight to a caress, and he delves into Jongin's mouth, tongue flicking across the roof of Jongin's mouth.  
Jongin sucks on Kyungsoo's tongue in response, arching against him. Arousal floods his system, and Jongin gasps. Kyungsoo's arm snakes around his waist, holding him closer, and the current of the river couldn't hope to carry Jongin as far as the current of pleasure dancing in him.  
Kyungsoo moans against his lips, and his hand around Jongin's wrist releases, trailing down Jongin's arm and curling around the back of his neck. His fingers tangle in Jongin's hair, and he yanks his head back, dragging his mouth down Jongin's jaw to mouth at his neck.  
Jongin exhales, and his chest heaves. He feels like he can't get enough air into his lungs, and he can hear his blood rushing in his ears, made louder by the combined rushing of the river around them. It's been months since they've touched like this, and Jongin revels in the way Kyungsoo leans into his every touch, reacts as if this were the first time.  
In some ways, it is.  
"Kyungsoo," Jongin breathes with the intent to say something, to ask for something, to express anything, but all he can manage is another breathy "Kyungsoo."  
"I've got you," Kyungsoo murmurs, mouth brushing over Jongin's. "I've got- goddess, Jongin." Kyungsoo's sentence cracks into a moan, and Jongin grins, rolling his hips forward again and watching the way Kyungsoo's focus blurs, his mouth going slack. His fingers brush down Kyungsoo's chest, feeling the muscles contract under his touch.  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo whispers, and he draws back only slightly, watching Jongin's hand continue down his stomach and underneath the water. He traces out Kyungsoo's hip, following the curve of the bone down between his legs. "What are-?" Jongin wraps his fingers around Kyungsoo's cock, and Kyungsoo's words turn to nothing but a gasp.  
Jongin kisses Kyungsoo again, twisting his wrist. Kyungsoo jerks forward into his grip, and his hands slide down Jongin's back, fingers slipping between the seam of his ass. Jongin presses back against his touch.  
"We should get out of the water," he suggests, voice slow as he seeks more of Kyungsoo's touch. Kyungsoo freezes.  
"You..." he starts. Jongin whines, trying to draw Kyungsoo in close again. "You want me to touch you?"  
"Yes," Jongin answers immediately. He watches desire darken Kyungsoo's eyes. "Yes, I want you to touch me."  
"Even if-" Kyungsoo swallows. "Even after what happened..."  
"Yes," Jongin confirms. He wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's waist, pulling him flush against him. "How many times do you want me to say 'yes?'"  
"Until I'm sure you want me," Kyungsoo replies.  
"Yes," Jongin tells him. He kisses Kyungsoo's pulse point. "Yes." He grazes his teeth across the claim scars on Kyungsoo's shoulder. "Yes." His lips ghost down Kyungsoo's jaw. "Yes, I want you to have me," he whispers.  
Kyungsoo's voice is thick with disbelief when he responds. "You want me?"  
"I want a pup," Jongin murmurs. "Kyungsoo, please-"  
Kyungsoo goes rigid. "A pup?" He pulls his hands away from Jongin completely. "Jongin-" He chokes, but it's a mix of pleasure and disbelief as Jongin rubs himself against him again.  
"Kyungsoo, please," Jongin breathes. "Have me, come on. Fuck me." Kyungsoo is frozen. "I'm giving myself to you," Jongin says, hoping he sounds like an invitation Kyungsoo can't refuse. He pulls at Kyungsoo's hands, runs his own over the alpha wolf's body. "I'll give myself to you, so give me this one thing."  
"You don't want me," Kyungsoo answers.  
Jongin raises an eyebrow. "Yes, I do," he whispers. "I do want you-"  
"To touch you?" Kyungsoo cuts in. "To fuck you?"  
Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo's neck, pressing them chest to chest. "Yes," he approves, delighted.  
"So you can have a pup," Kyungsoo finishes, and the disappointment in his tone is too dull to miss. Jongin stops moving.  
"Kyungsoo," he begins. "It's been another half of a sun cycle since we last fucked. Isn't it high time we just-?"  
"No," Kyungsoo states. "Let go of me."  
Jongin mentally stumbles. "Wh-what?"  
"I said let go," Kyungsoo repeats, and Jongin's hold on him loosens out of shock more than actual desire to put distance between them.  
"You don't want me?" Jongin asks.  
"Does it even fucking matter if I do?" Kyungsoo demands. The water feels colder. "You don't want me! You want to use me to sate your desire for a pup."  
"I'm not using you," Jongin denies.  
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. "Then what exactly are you doing, Jongin?" he asks. "Because to me, it looks like you're trying to get my dick in you for another round of sex that doesn't mean anything to you."  
"It would mean something," Jongin says. "It would mean the beginning of our family, the beginning of new life." He grabs Kyungsoo's shoulders. "I was told not to kiss you until I meant it," he whispers. He presses his lips to Kyungsoo's once, twice, three times. "I mean it."  
Kyungsoo pulls back. "You don't mean it," he says. "You haven't even said you want me."  
"I do mean it," Jongin retorts.  
"Then tell me you want me," Kyungsoo mutters, dark and barely hopeful. He sounds crushed. "And tell me why."  
"I want you," Jongin murmurs, stepping in close to Kyungsoo again, "to want me. And I want you to take me right here, right now." He sucks on Kyungsoo's pulse. "Because I want a pup, and you want a family. And you're the only one who can make that happen. I'm letting you."  
Kyungsoo scoffs, and his disgust nearly masks his hurt. "You're letting me," he repeats. "Like it's some big sacrifice on your part."  
"I'm the one who has to carry a child in my womb for moons, not you," Jongin snaps covering his stomach with his hands. "You're not the one who has to hold himself in human form when the moon demands a change. You're not the one who has to sit through hours of agony because if you don't, you'll be a killer of innocents again."  
"When you actually want me, me the person, ask me again," Kyungsoo says. "Don't ask me to touch you just because you want a kid."  
"I'm offering you sex," Jongin tries. "I'm offering you a chance to have your way with me, and you're refusing."  
"Of course I am!" Kyungsoo snaps at him. "Of course I'm not saying 'yes' to using my mate like he's some sort of child's toy. You're not just someone to breed so you can raise my pups. You're also this pack's Second, and you deserve better."  
Jongin screams, grabbing for Kyungsoo's hands. "How can you say no when the person you love is offering himself to you?" he inquires, and Kyungsoo's eyes go wide.  
"What did you just say?"  
"You love me," Jongin declares. "You love me, don't you? I know you do. I know it! I know you love me! So please, please just-"  
"Just fuck you?" Kyungsoo sneers. He grabs Jongin's wrists, throws his hands away from his body, putting space between them. "Goddess, Jongin," he says, and suddenly Jongin's name sounds like a curse instead of prayer like it had been only moments ago. "If you know that I- how I feel, then how could you even think to ask this of me?"  
Jongin grabs for the rock behind him for balance. The current isn't any stronger, but he feels weaker. "Because you love me," he presses. "You love me, and you want me. I'm just giving you what you want."  
Kyungsoo stares at him, and Jongin stares back, shaking.  
"What I want isn't sex," Kyungsoo states, voice covered and dark.  
"But that's part of it, right?" Jongin tries. "Isn't it? So take it. Have me. Have what you want, so I can have what I want." He licks his lips, but his mouth is too dry. "Compromise. That's what relationships mean, Kyungsoo. Please." He's pleading. He's desperate. He's jealous. He's everything he's not supposed to be, and he's too caught up to let it go.  
Kyungsoo takes a long moment to reply, and when he does, his voice wavers. His eyes shine. "That's sick, Jongin," he says. "That's really sick. This is really sick." Kyungsoo's shoulders shake, and Jongin watches a single tear roll down Kyungsoo's face to drip off of his chin and race away with the current of the river when the alpha wolf squeezes his eyes shut. "Trying to... use my own emotions to manipulate me into disrespecting you as Second is really, really sick." His eyes snap open. "And how the fuck you even know that I- how I- how do you even know?"  
"I live with you!" Jongin blurts out. "I'm not stupid. I'm not just some omega. I have eyes. Ears. I listen."  
Kyungsoo's broken expression morphs into one of absolute anger. "You heard me," he accuses. "You heard me when we visited your family after you found out you were expecting. You heard me, and that's why you were so distant." He runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands.  
Jongin nods slowly. "Yes," he admits. "I heard you. I know- I've known about it for a long while. And it's..." He flounders for words that he doesn't have.  
"It's what, Jongin? What?" Kyungsoo shouts at him, demanding answers. Jongin refuses to flinch back, and he's grateful his human form can't press his ears back against his head. "Wrong of me?" Kyungsoo suggests. "It's not wrong of me to love my own mate."  
Anger in response to Kyungsoo's flares up in Jongin's gut. "I didn't say-!"  
"Let me tell you something," Kyungsoo continues before Jongin can get a word in edgewise. "Right now, I regret loving you. I regret it so much." Jongin can't help it: he flinches. It seems to spur Kyungsoo on. "I regret loving you because you obviously think it's fine if I love you but you don't love me because you'll get what you want." He bares his teeth. "Well, fuck that because I am not going to fucking touch you."  
Defeat weighs heavy on Jongin's shoulders, desire completely evaporated from him, but he fights still anyway because that's what he was taught to do. "Why not?" he growls.  
Kyungsoo scoffs unkindly. "Because I'm not going to disrespect you by, for all intents and purposes, breeding you when the whole purpose is just so you can have a pup of your own. How mindless do you think I am?"  
Jongin grabs Kyungsoo's forearm, holding him still before he can leave the river. "How is this disrespect?" he demands. "I want this. I want you to do this."  
"But if you don't want me?" Kyungsoo retorts. "If you don't want me then, fucking- do you know how much it hurts me that you don't want me."  
"Kyungsoo...."  
"You're not asking for me right now," Kyungsoo tells Jongin. "You're asking for my dick, and that's more than a little off-putting for me."  
Jongin grumbles back to him. "I'm giving myself to you."  
"You're giving me your body," Kyungsoo corrects. "You're not giving me you as you are. You're just giving me a piece, and..." Kyungsoo clears his throat and sighs. "I want the you who caught my attention even though he frustrated me to no end. I want the you who taught me how to be Leader. I don't want this physical husk of jealousy."  
"Do you even understand what I'm saying, Kyungsoo?" Jongin bursts out, shoving Kyungsoo's insults away with an actual shove to Kyungsoo's chest. "I'm just asking for a pup! This shouldn't be as difficult as you're making it. We are a mated pair. Having a pup is expected, and it's what I- what we- want-!"  
"Do you hear yourself, Jongin?" Kyungsoo roars.  
Jongin rounds on him. "Do you hear me?" he counters. "I lost my first pup! I should have one already. He would be a few months old now and calling me 'daddy,' and you would have a family like you told me you wanted."  
Kyungsoo's tone is nothing more than a sneer. "Like I wanted?" he echoes. "Do people related by blood suddenly create a family?" Jongin bites his lip. "No," Kyungsoo continues. "No, they don't. They're just people related by blood. Love and respect are what makes a family." He points a finger at Jongin. "And wasn't it you who told me you only wanted to have pups raised in a house built on love?"  
Jongin ducks his head, looking away. He had said that.  
"We're a mated pair, yes," Kyungsoo mutters. "But you and I- we're not together like that. We are not building a house of love like you talked about."  
Desperation is sour on Jongin's tongue. "But you love me!" he cries. "I know you do. Admit it." Kyungsoo is silent. "Admit it!"  
Kyungsoo exhales, and even the river seems to quiet with his low confession. "You're right," he says. "I love you. I love you more than you can bear to accept." He looks up and meets Jongin's eyes. "And because I love you, I'm not going to give you this and watch you ruin yourself over it again and again when you realize how badly you've hurt us both."  
Jongin's heart pounds in some strange mix of rage and flattery. He grits his teeth. "Maybe it hurts you, but it doesn't hurt me."  
"Fine," Kyungsoo grits out between clenched teeth. His cheeks are wet, and the river is not to blame. "If you want a pup so badly, figure out a way to impregnate yourself because I am not having any part in this."  
"You're losing your chance to have me," Jongin tries to sneer back, but the threat sounds hollow even to his own ears.  
When Kyungsoo speaks again, it's with an equally hollow, broken voice. "All I wanted was you, Jongin," he says, and he's not even bothering to hide his tears anymore. Jongin's chest aches. "And you'd rather exploit that knowledge to get what you want. You've gone too far tonight. Way too far."  
Jongin can't remember ever seeing Kyungsoo look at terribly broken as he does right now. Even when he'd lost their first pup, Kyungsoo's sadness had been different. Then it had been mourning, and now it's terrible, bone-deep tragedy. Good, Jongin thinks. He feels sick even as he thinks about how satisfying it is that Kyungsoo feels the same emptiness he does.  
"I don't want a pup just because you've decided you want a pup," Kyungsoo admits, and Jongin's lips curls. "I want one because we're ready to have a family together."  
"You told me you wanted a family again," Jongin presses. "I'm trying to give you that!"  
Kyungsoo shows his teeth. "You're trying to pacify your jealousy," he retorts. "Jongdae has his pups, and you're trying to catch up!"  
"I should have a pup already," Jongin shouts. The argument is turning over in circles, and Jongin knows he's wrong. He's so, so wrong. But he can't stop. "I wasn't prepared for the full moon, but I am now. I can do this; I can give you-"  
"Stop!" Kyungsoo pleads. Jongin can't. "Stop this, Jongin! You're not being fair to me, and you're not being fair to this pup you want so badly."  
"And you don't want one?" Jongin counters. "You were so excited when I was pregnant. You were just as devastated when I wasn't anymore. Don't tell me you don't want another chance!" Kyungsoo snarls, shoving away from Jongin and making for the river bank. The distance between them feels just as emotional as it is physical.  
"A kid isn't going to fix things," Kyungsoo tells him, pulling himself out of the water. "A kid won't be a fill any gaps between us. That pup will just be thrown into the middle of it to suffer." Jongin chases after him, staring up at Kyungsoo from the river bank.  
"You think you're being a hero, but you're just being a coward," Jongin snarls. The words are out of his mouth before he thinks them through, his emotions taking hold of his tongue. A beat of silence passes. Kyungsoo's shoulders tense, and his jaw clenches. Jongin holds his breath.  
"I'm done," Kyungsoo snaps. "I can't believe you're really being this stubborn."  
He probably deserved that, but fury rages through Jongin anyway. "I'm the one being stubborn?"  
"You're hurting me," Kyungsoo admits, and he doesn't bother to wipe at the tears running down his cheeks. "You're hurting me more than you know, and you're going to keep pushing until something breaks because that's how it was when we first were forced together, and I doubt it's changed." He turns, storming away from the river.  
"Fuck you," Jongin shouts after him. Kyungsoo turns, and his anger seems to glisten in the tears tracked on his face.  
"No, Jongin," he all but snarls. "Fuck you, and fuck your selfishness." He makes to walk away again, and this time, he doesn't look back when he speaks. "Don't come back to the cabin tonight."  
"I wouldn't have ever gone there if I'd had a choice!" Jongin screams back.  
"You know what?" Kyungsoo snarls. "Don't come back until you realize that you deserve better than what you're asking of me, and don't come back until you realize that I am allowed to protect myself from the pain you're intent on putting me in."  
Jongin watches Kyungsoo go, fists shaking at his sides. He runs through the conversation again and again, wishing he could have just pushed Kyungsoo harder, made him ache with emptiness the way Jongin does. He thinks it through, pressing on his own cracks until Kyungsoo's words come true, and he breaks, sobbing into the darkness. He shivers in the night air, the water on his skin cooling rather than drying. It's freezing, but Jongin feels too pitiful to shift into his wolf form. He wraps his arms around his knees and buries his face in the crook of his arm. Kyungsoo's words had burned him worse than his jealousy, and as he sits there, he thinks that maybe he's just too selfish. He doesn't want to give himself to Kyungsoo, but he wants Kyungsoo to give himself to him.  
He wants Kyungsoo to love him.  
If he thinks about why that is, his tears just come faster, shoulders shaking with the force of his cries. He doesn't know how long he cries for, but his body aches and his throat is raw and still the night persists. Jongin has fears and truths he doesn't want to look at, but Kyungsoo had forced him to look at his reality without the safety of fog to blur the images. The only one forcing Jongin into isolation is Jongin himself; the only one who doesn't see the potential for a happy future is Jongin.  
Because Jongin has chosen to trap himself in misery.  
"I'm sorry," he says to no one even if who he really needs to say it to is Kyungsoo. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He closes his eyes, bites his lip hard to try to keep himself from tears. "You don't- you don't deserve- you- and I- I said- I was- I'm sorry."  
Warm hands slide around Jongin's shoulders, welcoming arms folding around him and tugging him back against a firm chest. Kyungsoo's scent envelops him. Jongin startles, hiccuping.  
"Don't cry," Kyungsoo breathes against the shell of Jongin's ear, and Jongin forces himself not to make a sound even as another wave of tears drips down his cheeks. He turns, twisting in Kyungsoo's hold to bury his face in Kyungsoo's neck, sniffling.  
"I'm sorry," he cries. "I'm so, so sorry."  
Kyungsoo holds him tighter. "I know," he says. "I know."  
"I can't be Second all the time," Jongin says, still shaking with tears. "I'm just me, and I'm selfish and jealous. And I-"  
"I'm selfish too," Kyungsoo confesses. "A less selfish me wouldn't have slept with you on our anniversary moon, and a less selfish you wouldn't have asked me what you did." His voice wavers, and Jongin tightens his hold on him.  
"I'm not the Second that this pack thinks I am," Jongin confesses. "I'm never going to be perfect like that."  
"We have each other for a reason," Kyungsoo says. "We're more than just leaders. You're there to be my support, and I'm here to be yours."  
"I'm shit at that," Jongin remarks, bitter. "I made you cry."  
"And how many times have you cried because of me?" Kyungsoo asks. Jongin doesn't answer. "Exactly," Kyungsoo continues. "We're learning, but we have a lot to learn. And maybe we'll learn to be as strong as the pack thinks we are, and maybe we won't. Maybe we'll just have to fake it until even we believe it. But it will always be you and me, fighting together." His words are full of hope and promise. Jongin breathes in the salt on Kyungsoo's skin and hopes with him from the quiet corner of his heart that still believes everything will work out like his grandmother's stories in the end.  
They sit there until the sky lightens, pink streaking at the edges of the clouds. Jongin doesn't move from Kyungsoo's warmth, allows him to wipe the tears from his face as he watches the pink-hued gray above become yellow and bright blue. It's always darkest on the night of the new moon, but the dawn will come.  
It always does, and maybe this time, Jongin is ready to embrace it.  
~*~  
Despite Jongin's apology and Kyungsoo's forgiveness, a layer of awkwardness settles between them. Jongin starts spending less and less time at the cabin, preferring to spend the majority of his time in the fields helping with the harvest efforts. He sneaks into the cabin late at night and leaves early in the morning, doing his best to never see Kyungsoo open his mouth and breathe in preparation to say something. It's not that Jongin doesn't want to listen; he's just not sure that he can bear to sit through his own embarrassment.  
He visits his cousin and his mate, visits his grandmother, eats with his parents, plays with Jongdae's pups, does anything to put distance between himself and Kyungsoo.  
It doesn't take long until Seungwan gets fed up with Jongin hogging Jongdae and their pups all to himself and intervenes, choosing to work alongside Jongin in the fields instead of following Kyungsoo's request to lead a hunting party.  
"What happened?" Seungwan demands when she and Jongin have been immersed in gathering ears of corn from the stalks into baskets for nearly half a day.  
"When?" Jongin evades, looking around as if she's referring to some currently occurring event. Seungwan sighs.  
"You and Kyungsoo," she elaborates, snapping her fingers to draw Jongin's attention back to her. "Did you fight?"  
'Yes' is the proper response. "No?" Jongin says. Seungwan plucks an ear of corn from the next stalk and brandishes it at him.  
"Don't fuck with me," Seungwan threatens. "Something happened. You and Kyungsoo are both terribly poor at subtlety." Jongin clears his throat. Seungwan rolls her eyes and plops the ear of corn in her basket slung over her back. She grabs another one, continuing on down the line with Jongin following behind her. "Look," she starts, "you don't have to tell me what happened."  
"Then don't ask," Jongin mutters, yanking ears of corn free of the stalks.  
"Just tell me if he forgave you," Seungwan presses. Jongin freezes with his hand buried in the plant.  
"Why do you think he had to forgive me?" he asks. "It could be me who has to forgive him."  
Seungwan scoffs. "I've known Kyungsoo longer than you have, and I know how he thinks. He'd rather hurt himself than hurt you." Jongin scowls, and Seungwan lifts an eyebrow. "Unless he was provoked."  
"Yes," Jongin admits just to end the conversation. "He forgave me."  
Seungwan nods, pleased. "And did you forgive him?"  
Jongin shrugs. "Yeah," he says.  
"Did you or didn't you?" Seungwan presses. "Even if you started it, he participated. He should apologize."  
"He apologized," Jongin grits out. "And I forgave him."  
Seungwan snatches up another ear of corn and whaps Jongin with it. "Then stop" - another whack - "worrying" - another one - "about what was" - Jongin is going to bruise - "and worry about what is." She sets the corn in her basket and laughs at Jongin's scowl as he rubs his abused shoulder. "All I'm saying is that the pack is going to notice if you two keep this up much longer."  
It's Jongin's turn to sigh. Seungwan is a good First; she doesn't want to see the pack return to where it was a sun cycle ago when Jongin and Kyungsoo didn't even know how to run the pack. Honestly, Jongin doesn't want to return to that either.  
"Just go home for once," Seungwan orders. She's using her First voice. Jongin wants to speak back to her as Second, to tell her to be quiet, but they're of equal rank. Seungwan is speaking to Jongin as a concerned friend, anyway. "If nothing else, you'll sleep better in your own furs."  
"It's not that I haven't gone home at night-"  
"Sleeping after sunset and rising before dawn doesn't really count as going- did you just say home?"  
Jongin freezes. Jolts. Stills again. "I did," he says softly. "Yeah, I guess I did."  
Seungwan's grin is huge and borders on proud. "Go home, Jongin," she whispers, and Jongin immediately pictures the cabin. It sinks into his chest, the feeling of how much he misses the cabin, misses falling asleep to Kyungsoo's even breathing. That has become comfort for him, and comfort is a primary function of a home.  
Oh. Yet still...  
"I don't know if I should right now," he says.  
"You already said you both forgave each other," Seungwan states. Jongin looks at her helplessly. "I know it's awkward, but it's only going to get worse the longer you wait." She doesn't listen to any of Jongin's protests and glares at him until he stomps off towards the cabin. Out of spite, Jongin doesn't look back, forcing himself to keep walking until he's inside the cabin. He ignores Seungwan's footfalls following him the whole way and plops down on his furs.  
Kyungsoo went out with the hunting party this morning, and Jongin does not know when he'll return to the cabin. He considers sneaking out the back, but he has a feeling Seungwan would somehow find him and knock him upside the head until he returns to the cabin.  
Jongin crosses his arms and keeps his feet firmly on the wooden planks that make up the floor. He scratches his toes through the dirt that has made its way up through the cracks, unable to get comfortable. Anticipation and dread burn in the back of his throat; he'd like very much to still be out in the fields right now. Seungwan is just trying to help, doing her job as First, but Jongin - the part of Jongin that is separate from the role of Second - is not yet ready for this encounter.  
He clucks his tongue in his mouth repeatedly and taps his fingers on his arms, creating noise for the sake of making noise, filling the space with anything other than his nervous breathing.  
What is he going to say? What is there to say? Seungwan is right: they've already apologized. They sat for hours together after they exchanged apologies. It hadn't been awkward when they left the riverside that morning, so why is it awkward now?  
Jongin sits up straight, eyes focused towards the door, watching as Kyungsoo drags in his catch. Kyungsoo freezes too, staring back at Jongin.  
"You're back already," he says, halting. He continues, choosing his words carefully, "I didn't... I thought you might not be here, but I..." He worries his bottom lip. Jongin clears his throat.  
"Well, I don't have to be here," he starts, "but I think Seungwan might kill me if I leave, so..."  
"So," Kyungsoo copies. "So of course you're here." He smiles, and the expression is startlingly genuine. "I'm happy you are."  
"I-" Jongin starts. He exhales, and his shoulders and back relax. He draws his feet in to sit cross-legged. "I am too." He finds himself smiling a bit, and it feels real. It feels good. "There's something to be said for coming home."  
If Kyungsoo is surprised by Jongin's use of the word, he doesn't make any indication of it. If he's pleased, Jongin can't tell. His smile is still the same.  
The alpha wolf drags his catch over. Jongin frowns at the blood on the floor.  
"I'll clean it up," Kyungsoo promises. Jongin narrows his eyes at him; he's being playful. What had he been so worried about? "If you cook these," Kyungsoo requests, and Jongin agrees. Silence falls as the two of them get to work on their respective tasks, and the silence is too thin to be comfortable. It's not enough to break the tension stretched between the two of them, and maybe that's what Jongin has been worried about. He waits until he's pulled the meat from over the fire and is sitting across from Kyungsoo to voice his concern.  
"Kyungsoo," he says, half hoping Kyungsoo won't hear him.  
He does. "Yes?" he says, swallowing a mouthful of food.  
"It's just that- I mean about what happened-"  
Kyungsoo clears his throat and sets down his food. Jongin stops.  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo begins. His eyes are intense; he's serious. Jongin holds perfectly still. "I'm not mad."  
"But you sound mad," Jongin says before he can think it through. Kyungsoo's eyes narrow.  
"Do you want me to be?" he inquires, and Jongin wishes he would just pick up his food and keep eating so that his entire focus isn't concentrated on Jongin. He fidgets.  
"No, not at all," Jongin says. "We've have enough fights to last us a few more sun cycles, right?" He laughs weakly at his poor attempt at humor. Kyungsoo sighs.  
"I know what you're doing," Kyungsoo says. "Why you've been staying away."  
"Well, I-"  
"Just listen," Kyungsoo cuts in. "Please." Jongin waits, watching Kyungsoo before he dips his head in consent. "You have a tendency to roll things over in your head over and over again until you get so trapped in it that you can't pull yourself out. I saw you do it when we were first named to our positions, and I saw you do it after the pup." His eyes find Jongin's again, dark and pleading. "I don't want you to do that again."  
Jongin opens his mouth to respond, but any response is not forthcoming. He had done his best to tear Kyungsoo's heart out in his jealousy, and here Kyungsoo is, more worried for Jongin than himself. He remembers Seungwan's words from the fields: He'd rather hurt himself than you.  
"What are you saying?" Jongin finally settles on.  
Kyungsoo reaches for his hand, curling his fingers around Jongin's. "In case you didn't believe me all those nights ago, I forgive you."  
"I-" Jongin starts, but he still has nothing to say. Kyungsoo pats the back of his hand.  
"Just eat, yeah?" he says. "We can talk about it more later if we need to." Jongin follows Kyungsoo's direction simply because he has nothing else he can do at this point. He had been the one to start the conversation, but he had nothing to say. Being alone with Kyungsoo, however, doing something normal like eating a meal - that helps.  
When they've finished and buried the bones, Kyungsoo grabs Jongin's wrist before he can go back into the cabin.  
"Do you want to run?" he asks, jerking his head in the direction of the mountains. If Jongin were in wolf form, his tail would be wagging.  
"This seems to be a habit of ours," Jongin says. "Running when we're working things out between us." Kyungsoo only gives him a shrug in reply and lifts an eyebrow as if to ask if Jongin is declining. Jongin tugs his shirt off in answer, dropping it on the grass. "But why ruin a good thing?"  
"Why, indeed," Kyungsoo hums, stripping off his own shirt. “Will you stay home tonight?” he asks, and Jongin doesn’t miss the emphasis on the word home. So he had noticed; the knowledge warms Jongin’s skin.  
“Yeah,” he says. “I will.” Jongin falls down into his wolf form, and the layer of awkwardness that had settled between him and Kyungsoo of Jongin's accord seems to melt away as Kyungsoo trots up beside him, their shoulders brushing and fur mingling.  
Jongin catches Kyungsoo's eyes, and his indignant bark when Kyungsoo licks his muzzle before bounding off ahead bounces off the sky.  
~*~  
Jongin's knees are cold from the chill of the dirt as he kneels in the feels, Taehyung right beside him. He shivers, and he catches Taehyung shivering out of the corner of his eye.  
"Chilly?" he asks.  
"You know it is," Taehyung answers, nudging Jongin with his shoulder. "If Barley could pick itself, I'd let it." He looks up towards the sky. "Did you and Leader do anything wrong during the winter ceremony this time around? Feels like it's going to a nasty winter."  
Jongin shakes his head. "No, I think we did just fine," he snorts. "Last winter was so mild, we're probably due a rough one." He frowns. "It's already almost the end of this sun cycle anyway. It should be getting cold."  
"The leaves are all brown," Taehyung argues. "They're normally still red right now." Jongin purses his lips. He's not in control of the weather, and it doesn't make sense for the moon goddess to be either. The head priestess will curse the sun god if it gets much colder too early, and Jongin is not looking forward to sitting through that ritual dance if it happens. The conversation quiets for a few minutes, and they're shifting to work on the next row when Taehyung speaks next.  
"Seulgi is really on edge right now," Taehyung murmurs, carefully tugging barley from the ground. "Her early heat last winter really shook her."  
"She and Juhyeon haven't been at each other's throats this time around," Jongin says. "So if it does strike early, I'll be worried."  
"I think she'll be fine," Taehyung says. "Unless she stresses herself into any early heat. But that makes her the only one to blame." He wrinkles his nose. "She would be so mad." He glances around the fields. "There's going to be a lot more omegas in heat this winter," he states. "Jeongguk will definitely finally have his, and Sooyoung thinks Yerim might get hers."  
"Jeongguk's a late bloomer and Yerim's an early one," Jongin muses.  
"Not surprising at all, right?" Taehyung laughs. Jongin shakes his head with a snort.  
"No, not at all."  
"Personally," Taehyung adds, "I'm not looking forward to my heat."  
"If it gets super cold, heat is an almost welcome reprieve," Jongin offers. He couldn't have kept the sarcasm out of his tone if he'd tried. Taehyung wrinkles his nose.  
"Getting hard to stay warm is not my idea of a good time," he says, keeping his voice low so the pups working only a row over from them won't hear.  
"It's your first heat after being mated," Jongin whispers, dropping his voice to match Taehyung's. Taehyung nods sagely. "Have you and Hoseok already talked about it?"  
"Yeah," Taehyung admits. "He's not too happy with what I want, but he'll get over it."  
Jongin furrows his eyebrows. "Why would he be...?"  
"Unhappy?" Taehyung shrugs. "Maybe that's not quite the right word. Disappointed, maybe?" He waves a dismissive hand, nearly smacking Jongin in the nose with the stalk of barley he's holding. He probably did that on purpose. "I told him I don't want to spend my heat with him this sun cycle."  
Jongin coughs. "Why?"  
Taehyung shrugs, dropping stalk of barley into his basket. "It's easy to prevent pregnancy with herbs during the regular months, but during heat, all the ginger in the territory might not be enough to prevent it." Jongin nods, and Taehyung dips his head in his direction. "But you knew that. The thing is I'm just... I'm not sure I'm ready for a pup."  
Jongin's eyebrows draw together, and he straightens up. "But you love pups?"  
"Sure, other wolves' pups," Taehyung laughs. He looks at Jongin's surprise and laughs again. "But my own... I'm only nineteen sun cycles, Second. Hoseok is only twenty-one."  
"I'm twenty-two," Jongin says. "And I've already..." He doesn't finish his sentence. Taehyung grips his arm.  
"And maybe you're ready to try again," Taehyung offers. "Have you talked to Leader about your heat yet?" Jongin bites his lip. "I mean, do you know what you want to do for your heat?" That's a good question, one Jongin has spent a lot of time distracting himself from thinking about after he made a fool of himself only a few weeks ago when Jongdae had given birth to his pups. Even after the rather one-sided conversation with Kyungsoo only a few days ago, Jongin hadn't bothered to return his thoughts to the subject.  
"No," Jongin admits. Taehyung stays quiet, waiting. Jongin sighs. "I know I want to spend it with him, but I don't want him to misunderstand why."  
"Why?" Taehyung echoes. He raises an eyebrow. "There shouldn't be a 'why' about it. He's your mate, and if you want him to spend your heat with you, it's his choice what he does with that permission." He goes back to pulling up barley. "Just ask him."  
Jongin breathes. He wonders if everything could really be as simple as Taehyung makes it sound.  
"Just ask," Taehyung encourages again when high noon rolls around and Jongin's mother signals the release from field work for the day. "I don't want to see you in my home today unless you've talked to Leader." His voice is perfectly bright and threatening.  
"I don't feel like going over there anyway," Jongin sniffs. "Not if Hoseok is being prissy."  
"Yeah," Taehyung agrees. He winks. "I'll deal with him." He punches Jongin in the shoulder and snags his basket from him. "I'll take care of getting these in the cellars. You go."  
"You're awfully pushy," Jongin mutters. "You and First. Terrible people."  
"I am definitely your cousin," Taehyung says with a smile. Jongin growls. "Don't grumble. I'm saving you from the hard work." That's a lie; the hardest work of the day will be speaking to Kyungsoo.  
Jongin leaves the fields at a slow pace, dragging his feet behind him. He considers shifting and taking a run around the territory, considers going to the river, the creeks, the mountains, but before he can decide on any course of action, he's standing in the threshold of the cabin he shares with Kyungsoo, the alpha wolf holding the door open for him.  
"You're back," Kyungsoo starts, his eyes wide. The corners of his lips tilt up. "Hi."  
"Hi," Jongin echoes.  
"I thought you'd be at the fields longer," Kyungsoo says. "I was going to run."  
"I'll go with you?" Jongin offers. Wolf form means he can't talk; it's the perfect excuse. Kyungsoo's eyes narrow.  
"Did something happen?" he asks. Jongin shifts his eyes left, then right.  
"No?" he squeaks. Kyungsoo sighs, grabs his arm, and pulls him inside. "What are you doing?"  
"You're pretending to be a mouse right now," he says. "Why?"  
A mouse: scared, small and timid. Jongin scoffs. "What?" he demands. "Can't I go on a run with my mate and Leader?"  
"Sure," Kyungsoo says. "I'm just giving you the opportunity to say something if you need to."  
Jongin shakes his head. Kyungsoo doesn't move, waiting.  
"Umm," Jongin starts. "My heat is coming soon." Soon meaning another two months, but there's always the possibility that it comes early.  
"I won't touch you," Kyungsoo promises. Jongin shakes his head almost violently.  
"No," he blurts out. "That's not what I..." He coughs. "Not what I meant."  
"Then what do you mean?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin responds with swallowing and flexing his fingers, trying to gather the courage to just say what he wants. Still, Kyungsoo is patient. Jongin takes a deep breath and holds it in, thinking through what he wants to say. In his head, his words are an eloquent invitation, thoughtful and well-worded. Out loud, what he says is far more blunt.  
"I want you to spend my heat with me?" His tone lilts up at the end.  
Kyungsoo blinks and stares and blinks again. "What?" he says.  
"I, uh, I'm..." Jongin clears his throat. "I'm inviting you to spend my heat with me?"  
He doesn't know what he's expecting Kyungsoo to say, but watching the alpha wolf's face collapse, his expression turning dark and guarded, is forever a disappointing thing to see. Jongin forces himself to stay standing upright instead of drooping with his emotions.  
"It's just that," Jongin bursts into explanation before Kyungsoo can begin to question him, "I want it to be your decision." He speeds through his explanation before Kyungsoo can draw any conclusions. "I'm consenting, right now. I want you to spend my heat with me. Not for any reason other than the fact that I trust you, and I want you to be with me. You." He swallows, and his voice cracks with the force of his conviction. "I want you."  
Kyungsoo keeps staring, and Jongin is wildly uncomfortable. He feels more bare with his declaration than he has during actual sex. Something about this type of honestly is freeing, but it feels more like free falling than liberty.  
"What are you saying?" Kyungsoo asks. Annoyance flashes through Jongin at Kyungsoo's use of his own tactic.  
"I'm saying," he begins again, slower this time. "I'm saying I want you. You. Just you."  
Kyungsoo's frown is deep. "For a pup?" he asks. Jongin's thought halt, and bile rises in the back of his throat.  
"No!" he nearly shouts. "You. I said you. I meant you. I mean you."  
Kyungsoo blinks, and Jongin can actually see him thinking, testing Jongin's words for any lies. "Do you love me?" he questions.  
Jongin isn't about to break his honest streak now. "No," he says, apologetic. Kyungsoo glances down, and Jongin looks away before the disappointment can tear into his heart. "Not the way you love me," he explains. "But I'm working on it."  
Kyungsoo snorts. "On loving me?"  
"That's not- no," Jongin says. "I'm working on loving us. As a team. A pair." He clears his throat. "I rely on you; I accept you as my mate. I have no choice in the matter with those. But loving you is a choice I get to make for myself, and I... I don't want to make that decision brashly." He breathes and takes a step closer to Kyungsoo. "But loving us is another matter entirely, and we both deserve that." This time, it's Jongin reaching for Kyungsoo's wrists, and he presses the alpha wolf's hands to his chest, letting him feel the steady beat of his heart.  
The moment stretches out, Kyungsoo's gaze on his hands on Jongin's chest, and then he slowly brings his eyes back up to Jongin's face. There are tears in his eyes, but he doesn't look sad. He doesn't look broken.  
"You trust me," he breathes, and Jongin nods, holding Kyungsoo's gaze. Somehow, those words seem to hold a type of power that Jongin doesn't think love ever could. Kyungsoo grabs Jongin up in a hug, pulling him close against him. "Thank you," Kyungsoo whispers emphatically against Jongin's shoulder.  
He doesn't say whether or not he'll spend Jongin's heat with him, but Jongin isn't about to press the matter. That's up to Kyungsoo now, and he has until whenever Jongin's heat hits to decide what he wants to do.  
Fervently, Jongin hopes he chooses 'yes.'  
~*~  
When winter comes, it hits suddenly, harsh and unforgiving, crashing in midway through the last moon of the sun cycle, chasing away any remnants of fall in one fell swoop. The pack makes it through the first blizzard just fine, digging out the covers to the cellars to get to the stored crops for something to eat. The run during the last full moon of the sun cycle is a difficult trek across leagues of snow and ice, but still the pack runs. In wolf form, the cold does not touch them, and many wolves elect to stay in wolf form for days on end. Jongin doesn't blame them, but Second, he needs to be able to use his human voice to give orders.  
Even more importantly, he needs to be able to talk to Kyungsoo.  
The alpha wolf has been hovering closer and closer to Jongin these days, his presence a constant reminder that the new sun cycle has started, and an unscratchable itch burrows under Jongin's skin, simmering low in his body. Still, Kyungsoo says nothing to indicate he wants to spend Jongin's heat with him, but the those days are fast approaching.  
Jongin doesn't bring up the topic again. He busies himself with playing with pups in the snow and taking part in hunting parties, anything to distract himself from his impatient waiting for Kyungsoo's decision. Every time he's in Kyungsoo's company, the question sits heavy on the tip of his tongue, but he holds himself quiet, making up random stories and details whenever Kyungsoo asks him what he's thinking about.  
The winter only gets colder; Jongin and Kyungsoo do their best to never let the fire pit in their cabin burn out. The priests, too, try to keep the large bonfire in the middle of the glade lit, but the never-ending snowfall makes their efforts futile. The temperature drops again, and Jongin and Kyungsoo call a halt on any work for the day.  
"Fuck," Kyungsoo mutters, barging back into the cabin from helping get food from the stores to the medicine hut. Jongin runs in right behind him, shivering, but not nearly as frozen as Kyungsoo is. He has his oncoming heat to thank for that, but the discomfort that comes with it is not preferable to the cold. "It's way too cold out there for human skin." Kyungsoo plops down in front of the fire, holding out his hands to the heat.  
Jongin goes to his bedding and grabs one of his layers of furs, wrapping it around himself before going to sit next to Kyungsoo.  
"I'm going to shift and never shift back until summer," he grumbles, making room under the fur for Kyungsoo too.  
"You'll be hot in spring," Kyungsoo says.  
"Fine. Until spring," Jongin relents. Kyungsoo hums in agreement, and only the crackle of the fire breaks up the quiet in the cabin.  
Jongin watches the fire, his eyes drooping. He feels almost uncomfortably warm, heat fluttering in warning under his skin and wrapped in his furs. The warmth of the fire fans across his face, and Jongin's head drops to the side. He nearly startles out of his skin when his cheek makes contact with Kyungsoo's shoulder, but Kyungsoo doesn't move, doesn't flinch away. Slowly, Jongin relaxes, leaning against Kyungsoo, curled against his side.  
"You smell really good," Kyungsoo whispers. Jongin stiffens and glances up at him. Kyungsoo licks his lips. "Just an observation," he states. Still, Jongin can't fully relax again, his body suddenly awake. The compliment, Kyungsoo's acknowledgement of Jongin's heat, the interest he could be expressing - incites a completely different type of warmth in Jongin's chest.  
He's vaguely aware of Kyungsoo moving, collecting Jongin in his arms and lifting him gently from the floor. He tries to express his gratitude as Kyungsoo tucks him into his furs, but he's too far dozed off to be sure if his words come out clearly or as more of a mumble. He clearly remembers Kyungsoo's lips against the top of his head.  
"Have a good nap, Jongin."  
When Jongin wakes later that day, it's to the head priestess' voice outside the cabin, calling for Leader and Second. Her voice doesn't sound as smooth as it did during the winter ceremony, and Jongin feels some sort of pleasure that the cold leaves no one unaffected.  
"Let her in, Leader," Jongin says, forcing himself to sit up in the chill of the room, reaching for another shirt to pull over the one he's already wearing. There's a stain on the sleeve of this one, and he shoots Kyungsoo a glare.  
Kyungsoo gives him an almost apologetic shrug, pulling on pants over his shorts and going to open the cabin door.  
"Leader," the head priestess greets gratefully, stepping into the cabin with her shawl wrapped tightly around her, furs draped over her shoulders. She bows to Jongin. "Second."  
"Head priestess," Kyungsoo returns, and Jongin is grateful. He's not in the mood to deal with her on any given day, let alone a day as cold as this with his heat simmering low in his gut. "What brings you here?"  
"I've come on behalf of the pack," she says, settling down in front of the fire. Jongin bites back a curse, mentally begging her to not get too comfortable in his home. "The winter is growing colder, and it is only the beginning of the sun cycle. The worst of the storms is yet to come."  
Despite the heat of the fire, Jongin suddenly feels cold. Storms. His grandmother's warning crashes through him, and dread is more frozen than ice.  
"For now, we have enough in stores to make it through the winter," Kyungsoo states. "There have only been a few days too cold for the hunting parties to go out."  
"But if a few days turns into a few more days," the head priestess argues, "our stores will be low." Jongin frowns. The harvest was good this fall, but there was not an extreme surplus like the previous sun cycle. They have to be careful with their rations, yes, but the pack is not in as dire a situation as the head priestess makes it sound. He says this out loud, and Kyungsoo nods his agreement.  
"If we must, we can send a party to the south lands," he tells the head priestess. "But that is our concern." He gestures between himself and Jongin. "If you are low on medicine or tools, that is your concern. We can give you wolves to protect your priests on their journeys to replenish your supplies, if that is what you require."  
The head priestess ducks her head in thanks, but her shoulders are still stiff. "That is not my concern yet," she says, and her voice is pitched unnecessarily low. She sounds like she's trying to retain that same smooth quality that Jongin has always hated for the way it seems to slither down his spine.  
"Then what is?" he demands.  
"I wish to make an attempt at beseeching the moon to lessen the winter," the head priestess requests. "Perhaps we've angered her brother. She can argue on our behalf, but she will not do it if we - if I - don't ask."  
Kyungsoo glances at Jongin, and Jongin struggles not to roll his eyes. "Sometimes the winter will be hard," Kyungsoo speaks slowly, carefully. "Maybe it is a test from the moon goddess."  
"She would not kill her people," the head priestess argues.  
"She wouldn't want a pack who can't survive a little cold," Jongin returns. He places a hand on Kyungsoo's knee to assure him he's fine. "We should rely on our own strength a little. On each other." He squeezes Kyungsoo's knee.  
The head priestess' eyes appear to be more gray than silver. "We must do that anyway," she consents. "I cannot promise that the curse ritual will have as much effect as it may have in recent sun cycles."  
Jongin bites back a retort that it's only ever been a coincidence if the ritual works at the same time as Kyungsoo says, "Why is that, priestess?"  
The priestess ducks her head, and a few white-gray hairs fall from underneath her shawl. The shadows show the deep lines in her face. "I believe my time in the moon goddess' service is almost over," she whispers. She inhales, and Jongin can't believe it: the head priestess is crying. Jongin was almost convinced the woman doesn't have real emotions, only words of ritual and frustration. "I can feel it," the head priestess stresses. "Her power is leaving me. She will be choosing a new priestess to hold her favor soon."  
Jongin struggles with much difficulty to keep his eyes focused on the head priestess and not rolled up towards the roof of the cabin.  
"Is there a time when you will choose the next head priestess?" Kyungsoo inquires.  
"Or priest," the head priestess corrects. She adds, "No. The moon goddess will present the right wolf when she deems it the right time."  
Jongin pities whoever it is. The priests may choose their path in life, may choose to condemn themselves to the medicine hut, may choose to give up being allowed a mate in order to connect with the moon goddess more fully, but they are allowed to leave that life if the head priestess grants them that favor.  
The head priestess can never grant that for herself. She will hold her position until she passes on to walk with the stars.  
"You may do the ritual," Kyungsoo allows. "But if it involves Second, you will have to wait. His heat is beginning soon."  
"It does not," the head priestess promises. Her focus in entirely on Kyungsoo, and Jongin feels him stiffen under his touch at her unblinking stare. "It involves Leader."  
"I see." Kyungsoo grips Jongin's hand.  
"This is why I have come to ask permission," the head priestess explains. She turns her gaze to Jongin. "Leader has given his. Do you give yours?" Jongin startles. Kyungsoo is the highest ranked wolf in the pack, and yet she's asking his permission. His left eyebrow lifts.  
"Why do you need my permission?"  
"Your heat is nearly upon you," the head priestess explains. "Your mate must participate in the ritual for it to work, and the process takes two days. You are not giving me permission to do the ceremony. I already have that." Jongin bristles. "I am asking Second to give Leader permission to leave his side during his heat."  
Ah, yes. Jongin glances over at Kyungsoo, hoping for some sort of answer. If he wants out, this is his chance. Kyungsoo's expression betrays nothing. His hand holding Jongin's remains steady and still. Jongin closes his eyes.  
"If he wishes to participate, that is his choice," he permits. The head priestess's pleasure at his statement is obvious at the sudden upturn of her lips. Kyungsoo releases Jongin's hand.  
"I'll do it," he says. The head priestess thanks him, getting to her feet and adjusting her shawl and furs more tightly around her. She dips her head to Jongin and bows fully to Kyungsoo before she strides from the cabin. Jongin glares after her.  
"I hate her," he hisses.  
Kyungsoo shows Jongin his teeth in sympathy. "I know," he says. "She treats you like an omega."  
"I am an omega," Jongin mutters. Kyungsoo squeezes his hand tightly.  
"You know what I mean," he says.  
"Yes," Jongin agrees. He can't tell if the warmth in his body is from the oncoming heat or from Kyungsoo's words. He elects not to think about lest he trigger his heat right this moment with Kyungsoo sitting next to him. He knows Kyungsoo can smell it, but this isn't the first time Kyungsoo's been in Jongin's presence during his heat.  
This is, however, the first time he's been in Jongin's presence with permission to touch him if he so chooses. Jongin swallows.  
"I'm going to go run," Kyungsoo announces. He doesn't wait for Jongin to answer. He jumps to his feet and pulls off his clothing, bursting into wolf form. He hurls himself out the door, and Jongin grumbles as the cold comes filtering into the apartment. He gets up and goes to close the cabin door. He returns to his furs and tries not to feel abandoned and tries not to feel the burning of being pre-heat.  
Jongin falls into a rather restless sleep and wakes up sweating, his stomach nauseated and throat dry. It feels like being sick, but that's not it at all. The slick wet between his thighs tells another story: Jongin's heat has come fully into effect.  
He groans against his furs, and just the faint action of exhaling on an annoyed note alerts his to how sore his skin feels. The furs feel like too much gentle contact, and yet it's not enough. Jongin opens his eyes, his vision blurry. He blinks to clear it, but he's too fevered to focus on the details of the cabin even if he knows them by heart.  
His vision is not so blurred and his nose not so stuffed with his own scent that he can't take notice of Kyungsoo's absence from the cabin. Jongin bites hard on his lower lip, debating if he wants to touch himself, if he wants to brings himself to the orgasm his body is demanding. Jongin knows heat, knows that without his fingers inside himself any orgasm he achieves will be empty. Better to completely abstain and suffer the urge instead of prolonging the effects.  
Jongin growls randomly at himself throughout the day, clenching his fingers in his furs and holding as still as possible, trying to dissociate with the sensations in his body. He dozes off at one point and wakes to his hips rocking against his bedding, trying to get any relief he can.  
"Stop," Jongin snaps at himself, and he nearly bursts into tears from how much the ache hurts, permeating his thoughts so much that he can't ignore it no matter how much he wants to.  
His heart pounds in his chest, and he pants in time with it just to listen to something other than the silence.  
When Kyungsoo returns to the cabin that night, he takes one look at Jongin and turns around to leave.  
"You don't have to," Jongin calls after him. Just having Kyungsoo closer has satisfied something in Jongin, and finally he feels like his skin isn't trying to rearrange itself around his bones.  
"I do," Kyungsoo returns. He goes over to the water basin and brings a small bucket to Jongin's side. Jongin reaches for him, but Kyungsoo backs away immediately. "I'm sorry."  
Jongin tells himself that crying is absolutely ridiculous, but the moment the cabin door closes behind the wolf he calls mate, he bursts into tears, shaking with how much he wants and how much he hurts.  
Being caught in heat makes the days drag, the sun seeming to crawl across the sky and the moon taking longer than usual to do its nighttime dance. Jongin gives in on the second night of his heat, taking his cock in hand and stroking himself off. He doesn't touch anywhere on his body besides his cock, and he grimaces at the mere seconds it seems to take for his heat to come raging back.  
His sighs are caught between pained moans and frustrated sighs. In the distance, he can hear the pack gathering in the glade. The sun-cursing ceremony must be in progress. He smiles against his fist. That's where Kyungsoo is; he's not too far away. Jongin closes his eyes and forces himself into a vague sleep with the knowledge that his mate is still around, is still close enough that if Jongin really needed him he would be there.  
When Jongin opens his eyes next, he's humping his furs again, his knuckles white from clutching his furs. He shakes; he wants to come. He wants to be done with his heat, but he's got another few days to go before it will run its course.  
"Fuck." He shudders, trembling as he fights to hold himself still. A scent that's all too familiar, all too fresh, reaches Jongin's nose. His cheeks burn. "No."  
Kyungsoo's scent lingers in the cabin at all times, but what Jongin smells right now is not a lingering scent. Kyungsoo is here. Jongin's heat flares and he looks up with bleary eyes, trying to bring his vision into focus.  
Across the room, Jongin meets Kyungsoo's eyes. The alpha wolf's expression is drawn into one of worry and concern, but his eyes are dark. The obvious creasing in his pants giving away Jongin's effect on him. Jongin stares harder at Kyungsoo, hoping he sees the question, the permission there. Kyungsoo looks away and does not touch him.  
Jongin doesn't care anymore. He sobs.  
He brings his hand down to touch himself, one hand wrapped around his cock and the other tracing out the lines of his hipbones as he brings it around behind himself. He coats his fingers in his own slick and trades hands, touching his cock with the hand now slippery with his own wetness. He thinks Kyungsoo's eyes have become nothing but black, and it encourages him to push himself up on his knees, tugging on his cock and reaching back to press his fingers against his hole. His ass clenches at the sudden touch, and Jongin slips one finger inside, rubbing it against his walls and gritting his teeth as pleasure takes him over. He closes his eyes and lets himself feel, hopes he looks as enticing as he feels.

Kyungsoo watches him get off, and then with the waddle of a man aroused, he goes to fetch Jongin more water. When he turns to leave, Jongin sees his claim mark on Kyungsoo's skin has been covered in soot. His entire back is decorated with symbols of the moon, and Jongin growls in the direction of the sky.  
"He's mine," he snarls in the general direction of the moon. "Give him back."  
There's no response, only the rising chanting of the priests and priestesses as the sun-cursing ceremony continues.  
Jongin is barely conscious, too wrapped up in the pain of being too sensitive to touch himself but too aroused to ignore his body, to notice when the ceremony ends. His bites his furs, and the fur doesn't taste nearly as satisfying as the salt of Kyungsoo's skin might. He groans, tears springing hot to his eyes again. He might be drooling; he can't tell.  
He doesn't hear the cabin door open, but he does feel warm hands settle on his shoulders and pull him into a sitting position. His head rolls, and he whines in protest.  
"No," he sobs. "I need- I can't- don't-"  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo's voice comes, gentle and low, searing through Jongin and igniting the desire he's been trying without much success to suppress the past few days. Jongin's eyes snap open, and he grabs onto Kyungsoo's wrists.  
"You're here," he says. He tightens his grip on Kyungsoo, trying to keep himself upright. His hands shake. "Is the... ceremony over?"  
"The ritual, yeah," Kyungsoo tells him. He takes one of Jongin's hands and draws it to the scab over his heart, the line thin. He drags Jongin's fingertips over his scab, and Jongin nearly moans at the texture, desperate to feel anything that isn't his own aches.  
"You bled," Jongin speaks, his tongue slurring around the words. He wobbles, dizzy with his heat.  
"Nothing bad," Kyungsoo promises. "Allegedly my frozen blood will bring the moon goddess to sympathize with us, I think. I wasn't paying enough attention."  
"You have to," Jongin pants out. "The pack is... counting on you to... lead..." Is that what he was trying to say? Jongin is losing track of his words, too consumed by Kyungsoo's scent so close to him, his hands on his shoulders. The touch isn't sexual, but it's comforting. It's nice.  
"I couldn't listen to a word the head priestess said when I was too busy thinking about you," Kyungsoo says. "Worrying about you. Jongin, you look..." He doesn't finish his sentence. Jongin thinks he would prefer if Kyungsoo didn't say anything else and just kissed him. "You look awful. I wanted to be next to you. I wanted to take care of you."  
"You... wanted... but... you left," Jongin gasps. He's leaning forward towards Kyungsoo. When did he move to do that? "But you're here now." His eyes slip closed, and his mouth finds Kyungsoo's neck, tongue laving over the scars Jongin left there so many moons ago.  
"I'm here now," Kyungsoo echoes Jongin's words, and Jongin was right: the salt of Kyungsoo's skin tastes to much better than his furs. Kyungsoo's arm wraps around Jongin's back, steadying him, and his other hand settles along Jongin's jaw, drawing him up and into a kiss.  
His mouth is insistent, and his scent is heady. Jongin melts against him, grabbing onto Kyungsoo's shoulders as tightly as he can. Kyungsoo's touch burns against his back, and the sensation is both pleasant and terrible. Jongin is so sensitive; Jongin is so desperate.  
Kyungsoo carefully lays Jongin back against his furs, and Jongin draws his knees up to bracket Kyungsoo's hips. Kyungsoo licks into Jongin's mouth, and Jongin doesn't bother to quiet himself, grabbing at Kyungsoo's upper arms, feeling his muscles flex under his hands as Kyungsoo holds himself up over Jongin. He kisses Jongin deeply again, lips lingering. Jongin nibbles on his bottom lip.  
Kyungsoo draws back, and Jongin doesn't get a chance to whine his displeasure before Kyungsoo's mouth is trailing down his neck. He nips over his claim mark on Jongin's shoulder and keep going, leaving marks that fade quickly down Jongin's chest. His lips, teeth, and tongue trace out the lines of Jongin's stomach, and Jongin sucks in air, the simple pleasure of breathing cross with the pleasure of Kyungsoo's licking a stripe from his belly button to sternum.  
"I thought you weren't-" Jongin exhales, arching into Kyungsoo's mouth on his chest. "I thought you- you wouldn't- hah- come to me."  
Kyungsoo looks up from sucking a mark into the skin stretched over Jongin's ribs. His breath both tickles and arouses as he speaks. "I couldn't allow myself to until now," he murmurs. He kneads the muscles along Jongin's sides. "I had already agreed to participate in the sun-cursing ritual." He sucks lightly on Jongin's nipple, and he keens. His kisses back up Jongin chest and across his collarbone. "I knew," he breathes, "I couldn't allow myself to have you until that was over." He sucks on Jongin's pulse point, and Jongin tugs on his hair, drawing Kyungsoo up to his mouth.  
"Why?" he demands, voice shaking with the fire racing through his veins.  
"Because," Kyungsoo murmurs against his lips. "I knew once I started touching you-" His eyes are dark. "-I wouldn't be able to stop." His mouth crashes down then, kissing Jongin with a certain insatiable quality that has Jongin moaning against his lips, one hand twisted in Kyungsoo's hair and the other digging into the skin of his back. Kyungsoo sucks Jongin's tongue into his mouth and draws patterns down Jongin's sides, his touch tantalizing and gentle to the multitude of sensations in Jongin's body.  
Jongin groans, full and throaty, and Kyungsoo rocks down at the sound. The hard line pressed between Jongin's legs is unmistakeable, and Jongin lifts up, rubbing his own cock against Kyungsoo's.  
"Take off your pants," he orders, but it's almost a plea. He holds himself back from whining when Kyungsoo withdraws from him and instead sits up, grabbing the ties holding Kyungsoo's pants up. His nails tear through the fabric, and Kyungsoo helps him shoves his pants down and away. His body is beautiful cast in the orange glow from the fire, and Jongin noses along Kyungsoo's chest until he can gently kiss the scab on his chest.  
"Want you," he whispers. "I wasn't lying when I said it."  
"How should I...?" Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin just lays back.  
"I feel like... rough..." he begins, "but I'm so sensitive... I... I don't... just go slow?"  
Kyungsoo leans over him again and kisses him. "Trust me," he breathes with utmost sincerity.  
"I do," Jongin responds, and he's coerced into a moan almost immediately as Kyungsoo's fingers curl around his cock, stroking slowly in an upward motion. He releases Jongin and does it again, always up. Jongin rocks his hips up, trying to catch any downward motion. He's starting to really drip, and he's going to have the worst headache from dehydration when this is over.  
Kyungsoo releases Jongin's cock again, dragging just the tips of his fingers down. He draws fine lines over Jongin's closed birth canal, and Jongin whimpers. His slight noise draws out when Kyungsoo draws a circles around Jongin's rim and draws his fingers away coated in Jongin's slick.  
"I'm sorry," he says.  
"Why?" Jongin demands, reaching for Kyungsoo's hand and trying to bring it back to his hole.  
"I'm sorry you have to go through this," Kyungsoo elaborates, drawing maddening circles on Jongin's skin and pressing his fingers up against Jongin's entrance. "I'll be- just tell me if I-"  
"Oh, goddess, just do something," Jongin snaps, working his hips down to try to get Kyungsoo's fingers inside him. Kyungsoo leans down and nips at Jongin's hip, and Jongin yelps, jerking again. Kyungsoo slips one finger inside him, and Jongin's grabs his arm and twists his other hand in his furs. Kyungsoo is gentle. Kyungsoo is slow. Jongin's heat is raging, but still Kyungsoo doesn't let what Jongin's body is telling him he can take deter him from taking care of him so carefully.  
He doesn't rush, and Jongin is more grateful than he can express. It feels good this way, doesn't feel like too much at once.  
Still, Jongin wants Kyungsoo inside him, and he tells him this as Kyungsoo draws two fingers out of Jongin and throws his legs over his shoulders instead. He places Jongin's hands in his hair, and it doesn't take much more than that to convince Jongin to twist his fingers in Kyungsoo's hair and push his head down against him. The first press of Kyungsoo tongue is hot and wet and everything Jongin needs to feel an orgasm start to build low in his gut.  
"Fuck," he breathes, and Kyungsoo presses one finger in next to his tongue, opposite hand working over Jongin's cock. Jongin's body is soaring with sensation, and he can't tell what's up and what's down as his hips jerk, trying to get closer to Kyungsoo's face. Kyungsoo continues, licking over Jongin's rim and slipping in a second and third finger when he takes a break to bite lightly at the swell of Jongin's ass.  
"Fuck," Jongin curses at the roof, and his vision blurs, eyes squeezing shut as he's overtaken by his orgasm. It crashes through him, more satisfying than the few he'd put himself through before, but not enough to break his heat.  
It's going to take a lot of this to break this heat.  
Kyungsoo climbs back up Jongin's body, marking up his skin with his teeth as he goes. Jongin can taste his own slick on Kyungsoo's tongue when he delves into Jongin's mouth again, and Jongin almost aches to have Kyungsoo's cock sitting heavy on his tongue in return.  
There will be time for that. Right now, Kyungsoo's cock nudges at Jongin's entrance, and Jongin draws his legs back almost to his shoulders.  
"I'm okay," he whispers, and Kyungsoo kisses him and then his temple.  
"You're okay," Kyungsoo echoes, and Jongin doesn't know if he's reassuring Jongin or himself. He presses in, and the stretch is excellent - too much and not enough. Jongin flinches, and Kyungsoo pauses, grabbing Jongin's hand.  
"Okay," he whispers. "It's okay. Take your time." Jongin breathes, relaxing, and Kyungsoo slides in slow, slow, and slower until Jongin is dying from the anticipation and can no longer feel the pain of his heat, well distracted by the beginnings of Kyungsoo's knot against his rim.  
He exhales. Inhales. His body thrums. "I'm okay," he says. Kyungsoo draws back, still slow, and presses in again. Jongin clutches at his back, letting Kyungsoo kiss him all over, teeth against Kyungsoo's shoulder when he picks up speed and it's too much. Kyungsoo slow again, building up his pace even slower. And then it's so good, and Jongin wants more.  
They continue like this, careful of Jongin's heat, until Jongin is completely relaxed and pulling Kyungsoo closer into him, reveling in it. Kyungsoo picks up his pace and flicks his fingers over Jongin's nippples. Jongin copies the action on Kyungsoo, grinning at his staggered breathing. He scratches his nails down Kyungsoo's back and grips his ass, moaning openly. Kyungsoo holds him closer, wrapping his arms around him and nearly lifting Jongin's back from the furs as he fucks into him harder.  
His knot catches on Jongin's rim, and Jongin licks his lips.  
"It's okay," he pants, and Kyungsoo stops all motion, leaning down to kiss Jongin fully again. Jongin expects it when Kyungsoo tenses and pushes himself all the way inside, but that doesn't stop the sudden discomfort, the slight pain, that accompanies the stretch. He breathes, and Kyungsoo waits, watching him. Kyungsoo's pleasure is clear on his face, and Jongin traces out his features with his fingers as he waits for his body to adjust.  
"Okay," he says, and when Kyungsoo grinds into him next, he howls at the onslaught of pleasure that slams through him, startling his body into clenching around Kyungsoo dragging him in close. Jongin feels like he's on the edge of orgasm again, but he can't quite get there. It's not until Kyungsoo's snapping his hips with urgency, his groans echoing in Jongin's ears that Jongin has the presence of mind to reach down and wrap his hand around his own cock.  
Kyungsoo comes first, trapped inside Jongin, and Jongin barely thinks through the fact that he's going to be dripping with come and slick when Kyungsoo pulls out when his own orgasm draws up inside him. His toes curl and his stomach muscles clench. His hips jerk wildly as it overcomes him, and his mouth is open, eyes rolled back, letting his body ride it out. Kyungsoo groans against his neck, breath hot against his skin, further dampening it. Their sweat mingles together, and they fight hard just to breathe.  
"Again," Jongin demands. "Like that."  
"Give me a minute," Kyungsoo requests, still panting. To be fair, Jongin's chest is heaving too, his nipples brushing up against Kyungsoo's chest. "Just a minute." He kisses Jongin, and it's sloppy, but it's enough to get Jongin's body going again.  
The night passes with Kyungsoo and Jongin switching positions repeatedly, trying out anything that feels good. They collapse when they're tired and wake when Jongin feels too consumed by fire to breathe. Kyungsoo treats him gently the whole time, waiting to really snap his hips into Jongin until Jongin is begging him to, pleading to feel more of him.  
Jongin loses count of how many times Kyungsoo knots him, loses count of how many times it's Kyungsoo whimpering from over-sensitivity as Jongin grinds himself down on Kyungsoo's knot, trying to get off again.  
They don't leave the cabin, eating the dried meats Kyungsoo had stored away. Jongin's thoughts all circle back to Kyungsoo somehow, and his skin feels sticky with sweat. He wants this heat to end; he doesn't want this closeness he feels with Kyungsoo to stop.  
Finally, during the third sunset since Kyungsoo came to him, the third sunset after the sun-cursing ritual ended, Jongin's heat breaks. He shivers with cold, startling Kyungsoo out of his daze.  
"Jongin?" he asks.  
"It's over," Jongin tells him. "I stink." He sniffs Kyungsoo. "So do you."  
"Yeah well. Sweat and come and slick," Kyungsoo mutters, stretching his arms up over his head. His muscles flex, and Jongin looks away before he feels like asking Kyungsoo to fuck him again. They're both too tired for that.  
But Jongin wouldn't mind.  
"Let's wash up," Kyungsoo suggests, wobbling as he gets to his feet.  
"Let's not and say we did," Jongin grunts. "I can't walk."  
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, but his smile is so fond. "Come on," he says, offering his hand. Jongin takes it, and nearly crashes against Kyungsoo the second he's upright. Kyungsoo laughs at him, and Jongin punches his chest in response, taking his turn to laugh when Kyungsoo wheezes. They make their way over to the water basin, and although the water is cold, bits of ice floating in it, it feels amazing as Kyungsoo uses a rag to wipe Jongin down. He drags wet fingers through Jongin's hair, and helps him dunk his head in the basin. They'll need to dump out the water and get more tomorrow, but for now, Jongin is just happy to be clean. He takes the rag from Kyungsoo and with hands shaking from sheer exhaustion, returns the favor. They leave the rag floating in the basin, and Jongin wobbles, nearly tripping thrice as he makes his way back over to his furs.  
He stares down at them, wrinkling his nose.  
"These furs reek," Jongin complains. "It's too cold to wash them now." He frowns, refusing to lay down on the pile of furs. Kyungsoo just bathed him; he doesn't want to soil himself again. Kyungsoo comes back from washing out his own hair, lifting Jongin into his arms. Droplets of water land on Jongin's chest, and he curls in closer to Kyungsoo.  
"I don't think we'll both fit on my pallet," Kyungsoo says, looking over towards the furs where he sleeps.  
"There is another option," Jongin whispers. Kyungsoo's grip on him tightens, and Jongin looks up at him. "Kyungsoo?" he whispers. Kyungsoo watches him carefully.  
"Are you sure?" he asks. Jongin lifts his hand to Kyungsoo's jaw, drags his thumb over Kyungsoo's lower lip. Kyungsoo tilts his head into Jongin's palm.  
"I'm sure," Jongin says, and his heart pounds as Kyungsoo turns from the common room and towards the door that has stayed firmly shut and undisturbed since Minyoung and Hana left this cabin. He kicks the door open, and Jongin looks up from hiding his face in Kyungsoo's chest long enough to survey the room. Tapestries drawn with the history of their pack hang on the walls, keeping out any wind and barely allowing any light into the room. The center of the small space is layered with a huge pallet of furs, large enough for four wolves to sleep comfortably.  
"I'm sure," Jongin repeats, urging Kyungsoo forward. The alpha wolf carries Jongin to the center of the furs, laying him down there. Jongin doesn't ask him to stay; he doesn't have to. Kyungsoo lays down beside Jongin.  
"We'll wash the furs tomorrow," he promises.  
"Or the next day," Jongin murmurs. "I might sleep for the whole day."  
Kyungsoo mumbles his agreement against the top of Jongin's head. Jongin tilts his head up and catches Kyungsoo in another kiss. It's more of a touch of lips than a proper kiss, but they're both drained, energy completely run out.  
"Thank you for letting me stay," Kyungsoo tells him. Jongin's eyes have already closed, but he smiles at the alpha wolf. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Jongin's waist, pulling him back against his chest. Jongin shifts in Kyungsoo's hold, twisting to rest his head in the crook of Kyungsoo's shoulder. His legs still feel like reeds in the river, and Kyungsoo's hand drifts down to gently massage the skin of Jongin's outer thigh. It's like this that Jongin allows the utter exhaustion of spending days with his body set in over-sensitivity to overcome him.  
For the first time, Jongin and Kyungsoo fall asleep in the room designated for the mated leadership pair together.  
~*~  
The days following Jongin's heat see another attack from winter, and the head priestess blames it all on the arrival of a new priestess whom the moon has yet to reveal, claiming the cold will end when the priestess is found. The days get colder; the nights are almost unbearable.  
Prey is hard to come by.  
"The stores aren't going to be enough," Seungwan says, twisting her hands in front of her. The concern on her face is highlighted by the yellow fire-light, her expression mimicked by the five of them gathered around the fire pit in Kyungsoo and Jongin's cabin. "We're halfway through them, and we're not halfway through the winter." Changmin, next to her, nods sagely in agreement.  
"The sun-cursing ceremony did nothing," he spits. "We can't wait around for it to take effect. We might be dead by then."  
"Or driven mad by hunger," Jongin agrees, thinking of the neighboring pack. He wonders if any of them are still alive, how they are after the loss of both their Alpha and Beta.  
"We could expand," Seungwan offers.  
"We already have the richest hunting grounds," Kyungsoo argues. "The only place to go is north into the mountains, and that won't be any safer for the pack than what we have now."  
"But we could go the other way," Minseok suggests. His and Changmin's fingers are tangled together. "We've done it before." He gestures between himself and his mate. Changmin nods in agreement.  
"We could take a team to the south lands," Changmin agrees. "It would be a long trip. It's not an immediate solution."  
"But we're not in a dire situation," Kyungsoo muses. Seungwan's eyes narrow. "Yet," Kyungsoo amends. Jongin taps his fingers on the floor. He remembers about seven sun cycles ago when the winter had been almost as harsh as it is now. Minseok had left him and Sehun to train themselves for a month while he went on a hunting trip to the south lands. Changmin had gone too, and when Minseok had returned from the hunt and to training Jongin and Sehun, Changmin had started showing up at the small dirt clearing where they trained.  
"Changmin," Jongin starts. The alpha's attention snaps to him.  
"Yes, Second?"  
"Would you lead the team to the south lands?" Changmin dips his head to Jongin's question, bowing in submission.  
"Yes, Second," he says. "Will I be allowed to choose my own team?"  
"I request you take Minseok with you," Jongin answers, and he doesn't miss the way Minseok squeezes Changmin's hand. "And please take Yoongi and Chanyeol. How ever many other wolves you feel you need, you are allowed to take with you." Jongin glances at Kyungsoo, and he nods his head in agreement.  
"How many wolves do you think you'll need?" Seungwan asks. "In addition  
"A team of ten would be..." Minseok starts. He glances at Minseok.  
Changmin finishes for him, "Not quite enough. Fifteen wolves, including some older pups."  
"So it's ten in addition to us and three pups," Minseok elaborates. "Eight for us to choose once we factor in Yoongi and Chanyeol."  
"How long does this take?" Seungwan asks. She taps her foot impatiently. "Heat season is still ongoing, and there's gonna be more mouths to feed soon."  
Jongin groans. "Please don't tell me you got Jongdae pregnant again."  
"Fuck, no." Seungwan recoils. "He didn't even let me near him this last time." Changmin laughs.  
"You got two in one," he says. "Jongdae's the smart one."  
"How are the pups?" Minseok asks, and Jongin just kind of gapes as the conversation turns so easily from food shortage to puppies. Seungwan's face relaxes, fondness overtaking her features.  
"They're growing so fast," she whispers. "Jongdae said he would be bringing them over here."  
"I hope he's got them wrapped up in this weather," Changmin says, and Seungwan glares at him.  
"You don't even have pups," she says. "Don't act like you're the expert." Her tone is light-hearted, eyes twinkling, but still Jongin's heart shatters at the way Minseok's laugh doesn't brighten his eyes. As an alpha and beta pair, Changmin and Minseok will never have children of their own.  
"First," Kyungsoo interrupts before Minseok or Changmin can fire off a retort. "Why don't you go see if Jongdae is on his way?" It's phrased as a suggestion, but Seungwan dips her head and gets up immediately. An order is an order no matter how it's presented. Minseok gives Kyungsoo a grateful look, and Jongin grabs onto Kyungsoo's knee to steady himself. He's been so caught up in his own wants that he's stopped taking notice of what may be going on in the pack.  
He's been distant, but something about his comfort and trust in Kyungsoo makes him feel connected and whole again. He feels less like he's at war with himself.  
"I'm sorry," he says to his former mentor. Minseok waves it away.  
"I'm going to blame it on being a new parent and think nothing of it," he claims, but he still leans into Changmin's arm around his shoulders. Kyungsoo pats Jongin's hand on his knee.  
"When do you two want to leave?" He directs the question to Changmin, but it's Minseok who answers.  
"As soon as the party is gathered," he answers. "The snow isn't going to lesson. There's no reason to wait on the weather."  
"And it's best to be back well before the stores run dry," Changmin adds. "We'll be gone before the next full moon, I'd say." He glances up at the roof, thinking through something. "And I suppose we'll return in a month unless we have to travel further."  
"Take one of the sleds," Jongin suggests. "The pups you take can run it. We'll let this be their last test as pups." Kyungsoo squeezes Jongin's thigh, and Jongin tosses a grin his way.  
"Who are you thinking of taking?" Kyungsoo asks. Changmin and Minseok glance at each other, and Minseok shrugs at Changmin. The alpha wolf opens his mouth to respond.  
"Holy goddess, it's too cold for human skin," Jongdae's voice interrupts before Changmin can speak. He steps into the common room with one fur-wrapped bundle in his arms. Chanyeol steps in behind him, another fur-wrapped bundle in his arms. Seungwan hovers between the two of them, her gaze completely stolen by the gurgling babies in the two omegas' arms. The warm scent of milk reaches Jongin, and he doesn't miss the way Kyungsoo's eyes light up at the two pups waving their arms in the air.  
"Are they okay?" Seungwan asks, her hands on Jongdae's waist as she stands on tiptoe to peer down over Jongdae's shoulder at their alpha son. Jongdae turns his head and kisses her cheek, cackling at her blush.  
"They're fine," he promises her. "They're so bundled up, they didn't even know it's cold." The baby in his arms gurgles, and Seungwan leans down to kiss her son's forehead. The beta boy in Chanyeol's arms squeals, and Seungwan hurries over to him, taking the pup into her arms instead.  
"Thank you," she whispers to Chanyeol against her baby's forehead. The boy fusses until Seungwan offers him her finger to cling onto.  
"Anytime, First," Chanyeol promises. He brushes his fingers through the slight curls on the pup's head.  
"Chanyeol," Kyungsoo speaks, and Chanyeol dips his head to him immediately. Kyungsoo just nods towards Changmin and Minseok.  
Minseok stands. "We're going to lead a hunting expedition to the south lands," he explains. "Second has recommended you come along." That's a slight variation from the truth, but Jongin would rather Minseok not make it sound like Jongin is intentionally trying to put Chanyeol and Yoongi together. He's not; he just knows the two of them work well together. He needs a team that he knows will be successful to go on this expedition.  
"The stores..." Chanyeol whispers, frowning. Jongin frowns too.  
"They're getting low," Jongin tells him. "And winter-"  
"-Isn't going to end anytime soon," Chanyeol agrees. He straightens his shoulders. "I would be honored to go."  
Changmin bumps his fist against Chanyeol's shoulder. "It's not all that serious," he promises. "No Leader, no Second, no First... there's all kinds of trouble to get into." Minseok pinches Changmin's side in response to that, and Changmin's smile doesn't falter through his exaggerated wince.  
Kyungsoo growls, but the sound is more playful than threatening. Jongin snorts.  
"If that's the case," he says, "I'll just place myself on your roster. See how much trouble you get into then." Changmin actually pouts at that, and Chanyeol bursts into laughter at his  
"Sure, Second," Minseok says. "You can come. I haven't hunted with you in a while." Kyungsoo grabs Jongin's wrist, and Jongin looks back at him. The alpha wolf doesn't look displeased, just curious if this is what Jongin really wants to do.  
"I'll go if they need me," Jongin whispers, answering Kyungsoo's unspoken question.  
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Jongdae cuts through the conversation, and Jongin freezes, staring at his friend as he walks up to him, his pup still cradled in his arms. He's a beautiful baby, huge eyes and chubby cheeks. Jongin isn't jealous, though. Not anymore. He's happy for his friend; he's looking forward to when it's his turn.  
"Why not?" Jongin asks. "I'm a good hunter, and I know the south lands more than most of the pack. Minseok used to take Sehun and I there as part of our training exercises."  
"Second," Jongdae states, and his expression is wholly serious. "Are you really sure that's a good idea?" He stares at Jongin, and Jongin is still frozen as he watches Jongdae's gaze drop slowly from his own down to his own child's face.  
Jongin's blood runs cold. He's sure all the color has drained from his face. Jongdae leans in close, murmuring quietly under his breath so that only Jongin can hear him.  
"You smell like milk." His breath does nothing to warm the sudden cold Jongin feels.  
"I-" Jongin coughs. He looks at Kyungsoo. "Finish this here with them," he requests, gesturing at Chanyeol and Minseok and Changmin. "I'll just- I'll be back." He doesn't wait to answer the confusion about to burst from Kyungsoo's mouth; he doesn't wait for Jongdae to offer him any sort of reassurance. He shoves past Chanyeol, carefully skirting around Seungwan and Jongdae. He doesn't even bother to grab any furs to wrap around himself or to bind his feet in leather before he barrels out into the snow.  
“Jongin!” is shouted after him, but it’s not Kyungsoo’s voice yelling after him. Jongin doesn’t stop; he’s not under orders to. Seungwan calls after him again, but Jongin is too focused on getting to the medicine hut, finding Yongsun or Hyejin, to bother with her calls that it’s too cold to be out in the snow barefoot.  
It is too cold, but Jongin can’t shift. He can’t even think of his wolf form right now with the possibility that Jongdae is right. Maybe he caught the scent wrong; maybe he didn’t.  
He enters the heat of the medicine hut, the fires lit in every room carrying the faint trace of juniper through the air. Jongin’s dripping, his pants soaked and his feet red from the snow. He’s sure his eyes look just as wild.  
“Second,” the priest Jongin remembers from before the third test of the tournament greets him. He’s the one who had forced Jongin to drink wolfsbane. He nearly gags at the memory.  
“I need to find Hyejin,” Jongin says. The priest’s eyes flicker down Jongin’s form and back up to his face. “Where is she?”  
“With Wheein or Byulyi I’m sure,” the priest answers. He beckons for Jongin to step further into the medicine hut. “Follow me.” The scent of juniper only grows stronger the further into the hut Jongin follows the priest, but the smell is broken by the earthy tang of barley tea when the priest pulls back a heavy, leather hanging. Behind it, a room large enough for four people to sleep comfortably with a small fire lit in the middle, resides.  
Hyejin looks up first. “Second!” She smiles widely, and Jongin is startled into returning a smile of his own, nodding in turn to Yongsun, Wheein, and Byulyi when they dip their heads in acknowledgement of him, murmurs of “Second” leaving their lips. Hyejin’s smile slips.  
“What’s wrong?” she asks, and Byulyi looks like she’s trying to hold back a scoff.  
“Isn’t it obvious from the smell?”  
“Milk,” Wheein agrees.  
“Seems less like something that would be wrong and more like a cause for celebration,” Hyejin says. “It’s another chance!” Her eyes are bright, and she reaches up to take Jongin’s hand. “The moon goddess has blessed you.”  
Yongsun’s hand settles gently on Hyejin’s knee. She gives a shake of her head, and Hyejin stiffens, eyes wide and bewildered.  
“Sit down, Second,” Yongsun offers. Wheein immediately scurries to fix a cup of tea. “If you wish.”  
Jongin’s limbs feel heavy and clumsy, the weight of their confirmation sinking into his body. He collapses more than he sits, and Byulyi presses a comforting hand against the small of his back. Wheein hands him the cup of tea, and Jongin doesn’t say anything as he drinks it. The calm presence of the priestesses keeps Jongin calm in turn. When he’s finished drinking the tea, he clears his throat.  
“How do I stop the change?”  
Wheein looks confused, and Hyejin echoes her expression. “With willpower?” the former offers.  
“Determination?” Hyejin tries. Jongin shakes his head.  
“You’re asking if there’s an herb to cut off your connection to the moon,” Byulyi intones. Jongin’s head switches direction to nod instead.  
“Or my wolf,” he says. “It doesn’t matter just-” He sucks in a breath. “I had to swallow wolfsbane twice to kill my ability to shift, but… maybe if it were just a bit less, I could control it better.” Byulyi’s eyes are sad, and Yongsun wears a fully downturned frown.  
“Wolfsbane is poison,” Yongsun stresses. “A baby - unborn or not - wouldn’t survive even the smallest dose.” She waves her hand around to her fellow priestesses. “Even the four of us wouldn’t survive that. You were trained for sun cycles and blessed by the moon to be able to withstand one dose, let alone two.” She leans forward across Byulyi’s lap and grabs Jongin’s hand. “Willpower is what keeps you in your human form through the full moon.”  
“So there’s nothing?” Jongin tries again. “Nothing at all?”  
“Your mate,” Byulyi suggests. She taps Yongsun’s shoulder and tries to nudge her off of her lap. “Keep Leader next to you. That’s really the only thing that can keep your wolf calm enough to resist the moon song if you can’t do it on your own.”  
“It’s not a sign of weakness,” Wheein adds immediately. She flushes. “I mean, it’s-”  
“Wheein,” Byulyi says quietly, and Wheein stops talking. ‘Sorry’ she mouths.  
“I can give you some tea before you go,” Hyejin offers, standing. “Drink it before the full moon rises to help keep calm.”  
Jongin stands with her. “Thank you,” he says. Yongsun squeezes his hand and lets him go.  
“I’ll send Hyejin with the tea later,” she says, looking at Hyejin with purpose. The younger priestess nods, tugging on Wheein’s hair. The two of them scramble from their small room. “For now, go home to Leader.”  
Byulyi fixes him with encouraging but serious eyes. “You’re going to be okay,” she says. “We’re all excited for you.”  
Jongin barely even notices the juniper as he heads back through the medicine hut, keeping his head low so that the wolves who see him do not notice that he’s Second until he’s already too far past for them to greet him. He’s running before he’s even all the way out of the hut, and this time he sprints across the snow for the promise of the warmth of home and of Kyungsoo waiting anxiously for him to come back.  
He sinks knee-deep into the snow, struggling through the drifts until he’s throwing open the door to the cabin, panting as he stumbles inside. Kyungsoo is there, shoving the door closed behind him and catching Jongin before he collapses. He shakes in Kyungsoo’s arms, allowing the alpha wolf to pull him into the house, keeping him steady. The others are gone now, the echoes of their voices and scents stale.  
"Jongdae was right," Jongin gasps, trembling. He doesn't protest as Kyungsoo strips his snow-drenched clothes from his body, dragging him over to the fire to warm up. He doesn't really have the capacity to protest. “He was-”  
“What did he say?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin doesn’t look at him.  
“Can’t you smell it?” he asks. He feels Kyungsoo inhale, nose buried in Jongin’s hair. He stiffens.  
“You’re pregnant,” he whispers, voice slightly awed. He fingers quake against Jongin’s skin. “We-” He swallows. “You want this?” Jongin stays quiet. Kyungsoo pulls him into his lap, holding Jongin against him. He strokes his fingers through Jongin’s damp hair and wraps furs around them both, warming Jongin up from his trek through the snow.  
“I want this,” Kyungsoo admits, voice so quiet Jongin could almost lose it amongst the crackle of the flames. “Our pup.”  
Jongin finally turns from the glow of the flames to watch their reflection on Kyungsoo’s face instead. “You do?” he asks.  
“I told you I want a family,” Kyungsoo says. “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough when I said I wanted one with you.” Jongin heart stops. Jongin’s heart pounds in his chest. He’s smiling, but there are tears slipping down his cheeks. He presses his lips to Kyungsoo’s, hoping his mate can taste everything he wants to say in his mouth.  
"You'll stay with me this full moon?" Jongin asks when he draws back. His hands shake with the possibility that Kyungsoo could refuse.  
The alpha wolf's expression softens. "Of course," he whispers, taking Jongin's hands and lifting them to his mouth. His lips ghost over Jongin's knuckles, soothing him. "As long as you need me there." Jongin allows himself to collapse into Kyungsoo's arms, trepidation and anxiety pulling him down. "Hey," Kyungsoo murmurs, brushing his hand through Jongin's hair. "You're gonna be okay."  
"Yeah?" Jongin questions, almost bitter at the memory of last time he was told it would be okay.  
"Yes," Kyungsoo says, absolute.  
When the full moon does come, Kyungsoo makes good on his promise to stay, and he makes sure Jongin is okay, that everything goes right, that Jongin doesn't shift. He doesn't complain about Jongin pulling on his fur and screaming profanities into the scruff of his neck. He just stays and supports Jongin as best he can.  
The sun rises after the full moon like it always does, waking Jongin from his exhausted sleep. He's warm and trapped, and he looks down to see Kyungsoo's arms wrapped around him, their fingers linked and pressed protectively over Jongin's stomach.  
~*~  
Hoseok chooses to journey to the south lands to hunt in Changmin and Minseok's party, and Taehyung chooses to stave off his loneliness by vying for all of Jongin's time. There's not a lot to be done this time of sun cycle in this kind of weather; the pack is playing a waiting game for the hunting party to come back with sleds piled high with prey. The winter chill will be enough to preserve the meat until it can be roasted and dried at camp.  
The party has been gone for five weeks, and the pack prays for the swift return of the hunters. Despite everyone's best efforts, the stores are starting to get worryingly low. If Jongin could, he would cut his own rations almost completely, but he's not the only one in his body right now. Taehyung is making sure he eats his fill every day, acting more like a mother than a cousin.  
"Are you sure you didn't want your own pups?" Jongin snorts as Taehyung drops down to lounge beside him on his furs in the main room of the cabin. He settles a hand on Jongin's swelling belly, staring at the back of his own hand as if that will make the pup move.  
"Someone has to be available to watch yours while your busy with leadership things," Taehyung answers just as he always does. "I'm just here to make sure this kid is the most pampered pup in the pack." He grins at Jongin, face full of teeth and eye squinted. "Until I have my own, of course."  
"Of course," Jongin echoes. "Instead, you let your mate go on a hunting trip and not come back for weeks while you went through your heat alone."  
"It sucked," Taehyung whines. "But I'm not pregnant, so I can take care of you."  
"Ma is probably missing out of this chance," Jongin says. He pokes Taehyung's nose. "You've stolen it from her."  
"Auntie has enough to worry about," Taehyug states with a single nod of his head. He frowns at Jongin's stomach. "When is this pup going to kick?"  
"When he's not a sack of blood and skin," Jongin rolls his eyes.  
"Are you sure this is Leader's kid?" Taehyung teases. "Seems a little too un-mighty." Jongin knows he joking, but the implication that Jongin would betray the pack like that, betray Kyungsoo like that, be with anyone who isn't Kyungsoo, sends his stomach rolling. He smacks Taehyung upside the head.  
"No," he speaks. Taehyung hunches his shoulders in apology.  
"Come walk with me," Taehyung offers. He leaps up from Jongin's furs, heading across the cabin to grab the leather wrappings he'd dropped near the door earlier. He sits across from Jongin, beginning to bind his feet with the stiffened fabric.  
Jongin watches him for a moment before dropping back even deeper into his furs. "I'm pregnant," he argues. "I'm allowed to be lazy."  
"You're going to regret that," Taehyung reasons. He's definitely right. Jongin doesn't want to whelp this pup and then spend months having to completely relearn his body and gain his strength. Even just walking and stretching his legs will help. He points at his own leather bindings hanging from a knob on the cabin wall.  
"Fine," he relents. "Let's go on a walk." Taehyung all but skips over to the bindings and scurries around the room, gathering Jongin's warmest clothes. Taehyung could shift into wolf form to keep himself warm, but Jongin can't do that.  
He doesn't even want to think about his wolf form until his pup is born.  
Taehyung helps Jongin get into all of his fur-lined clothes and drapes a fur pelt over his shoulders. The fur tickles his neck and nose, but it's warm. Jongin is going to sweat.  
"You could shift," he tells Taehyung.  
"I said a walk, not a run," his cousin says. "So I'm going on a two-legged walk with a two-legged you." He wraps an arm around Jongin's waist, and Jongin copies him. They match their steps and trudge out into the snow. Conversation is light, easy, intersperced with chattering teeth and laughter as they make their way through the glade. Not many wolves are out right now; pups play in the snow drifts, their fur keeping away the chill.  
Taehyung is halfway through some story, recounting a recent venture into Jimin's cabin. Apparently, he'd stumbled across Jimin and Namjoon in the midst of making out. In Jimin's shock, he'd completely missed Namjoon's face, and Namjoon had spent a good moment making out with with Jimin's eye before he'd realized they'd been interrupted. Taehyung cackles, startling a few remaining birds from familiar trees.  
Jongin pauses, sobering from his good humor.  
"My parents' cabin is just over there," he says. Taehyung halts too.  
"Huh?" he says, blinking his way out of the mirthful memory. "Goddess," he swears. "I can't cry laughing out here. My tears will freeze to my face."  
"My parents' live just back there," Jongin repeats. "I haven't told them yet." He curls his arms around his stomach.  
"You're a terrible son," Taehyung chides. "In all honesty, they probably figured it out when you weren't there leading the last run." Jongin worries his bottom lip, and Taehyung continues, "And Seungwan and Jongdae were there to support Kyungsoo's solo lead, so your presence was very obviously missing."  
"Who watched Jongdae's pups?" Jongin asks. The babies are only a few months old. They can't be left alone for a short run during the day let alone the full moon.  
"Seulgi and Irene, I think," Taehyung reports. "Seulgi's got such great control on full moons. I idolize her."  
Me too, Jongin thinks blandly. "It's not like you don't," he says out loud. Taehyung waves him off.  
"I think Jimin wanted to watch them," Taehyung says. "You know he and Namjoon can't exactly produce their own pups. But that's probably for the best. Namjoon around pups is..." He trails out. He doesn't have to say more. "Anyway. Jongdae is crazy, but he's not insane enough to let those two around his kids alone."  
"I'll keep that in mind," Jongin says. He punches Taehyung's shoulder lightly. "If I make it to term with this one."  
"Hey," Taehyung drawls. "You made it through one. Only three more to go." He holds up his fist. "I'd hit you back, but you're pregnant." Jongin punches him again for good measure, harder this time. Taehyung takes it, laughing and leading the way to Jongin's parents' cabin.  
"I couldn't make it without Leader," Jongin admits quietly, standing outside the door. Taehyung turns to look at him instead of shoving the door open.  
"You really are hilariously oblivious, you know that?" He shakes his head and snorts. "Romance is just not in your field of vision."  
"Hey!" Jongin protests. "We're working it out, he and I."  
Taehyung rolls his eyes. "That alpha is so in love with you the squirrels know it."  
Jongin bristles. "I already know that-"  
"Do you really?" Taehyung cuts in. Jongin narrows his eyes. "Because it seems to me you might know that, but you don't feel it."  
"He knows I don't love him..." Jongin tries. Taehyung just stares at him for a long moment, and Jongin forces himself not to shift uncomfotably under his cousin's judgement.  
"You're a hopeless case, Second." he throws his arm around Jongin's neck. "Now, let's go see Grandma, yeah?" Taehyung jerks Jongin forward into his parents' cabin, all but throwing him through the door. Jongin is met with warmth and his mother's surprised face looking up at him from where she was tending the fire in the middle of the common room.  
"Second," she breathes, getting to her feet.  
"Hi, Ma," Jongin greets. His mother has got her hands in fingerless mittens and her feet still bound in leather. She's always hated the cold. Byulhee wals up to her son and nephew and gives each of them a once over. With thin fingers, she helps them both peel away their outer layers until Jongin is standing in just his shirt and pants, the swell of his stomach unmistakable.  
"My beautiful, beautiful son," Byulhee declares, and she wraps her arms around Jongin, her face buried in his chest. "I prayed you would get another chance. I prayed and prayed and here it is. Here you are." She presses a kiss to Jongin's cheek, drawing back and holding him by the shoulders. She gives him a once over and a nod of approval. "You look healthy." Jongin jerks his head at Taehyung.  
"Are you sure you don't mean chubby?" he asks. "That one keeps feeding me." Byulhee laughs and looks over at Taehyung.  
"Good boy," she praises. "Shove food down his throat if you have to." Taehyung flashes her a grin and a thumbs up; Jongin shows a pout and whines. Byulhee reaches over and smacks Jongin's cousin's arm. "But what were you thinking letting that silly mate of yours go off hunting while you were in heat?" Jongin swallows back the laugh at Taehyung suddenly cowering under Jongin's mother's glare.  
"Auntie!" he complains. "Papa already gave me an earful; be nice!"  
"Oh, please," Byulhee sneers. "I know my brother. He called you silly and went about the rest of his day." She tugs on Taehyung's ear. "You're just as stubborn as he is!"  
"Let it not be said that my two children don't have some shared qualities," Jongin's grandmother's voice interrupts the commotion. Taehyung grins at her even with his ear caught in Byulhee's grip.  
"Grandma," he sing-songs.  
"Hello, Taehyung, my child," Jongin's grandmother greets. Her smile isn't quite there with her words, and her eyes aren't as bright as they usually are. Jongin stiffens. His grandmother looks between her daughter and Taehyung. "My daughter, would you mind giving me a moment alone with my grandson?"  
Byulhee straightens up. "Of course, Mom," she agrees. She sweeps out of the common room and into her room she shares with Jongin's father. He can't sense Sungkeun here; he's probably out attempting to hunt for anything he can find. Taehyung doesn't move, and his grandmother switches her gaze to him.  
"My other grandson," she says. Taehyung gulps.  
"Yes," he says. "Sure thing, Grandma. I'll, uh, wait outside for you, Second." He hurries out of Jongin's family's cabin, only barely remembering to grab his coat and furs before he does.  
There's a moment of silence that follows Taehyung's exit, broken only by soft footfalls as Jongin's grandmother leads him back to her corner of the common room. The warmth of the fire is almost scorching here.  
"I suppose I should say 'congratulations,'" his grandmother begins. Jongin holds his hands against his stomach.  
"I thought maybe you'd offer me name suggestions," Jongin tries to joke. His grandmother's frown deepens.  
"I thought I told you to wait, boy," she says when she's settled deeper in her furs. Jongin sits beside the fire. The heat only fuels his disgust at his grandmother's implication that he's not ready for this pup or that he doesn't deserve it.  
That's not her call to make, but still Jongin holds the snarl off his face. "These things aren't always planned," he says.  
"There are herbs and foods and washes to keep yourself from becoming pregnant even during heat," his grandmother says. "You chose not to take anything."  
"Those don't always work," Jongin reminds her. "It could have happened anyway."  
"But at least then you would have tried to listen to my warning," his grandmother sniffs. "Wait until the storm has passed, I said."  
Jongin hands slip from his stomach for him to wrap his arms around himself instead, protecting both himself and his unborn pup. "If I spend my whole life waiting for a storm to pass, I'm never going to do anything," he argues. "Look outside right now: storms. Look at where we live: in the foothills of the mountains. It's always storming here. I can't spend forever waiting."  
His grandmother sighs. "This kind of storm cannot compare to the kind of storm I am speaking of," his grandmother says, She scoffs at the snowing outside.  
"Then what type of storm is it?" Jongin demands. He doesn't want to treat his grandmother like his subordinate, but the fact of the matter is, he's Second. "You're speaking in riddles, and it doesn't help me."  
"I can only tell you what the moon goddess tells me," his grandmother tells him, pushing herself to stand. He can't tell if it's disappointment or worry he sees in her eyes. "I only speak in riddles if that is what the goddess speaks to me."  
"I don't care what she says!" Jongin bursts out. "I haven't cared since the tournament started, and I don't care now! For once in all these suns of listening to you talk about perfect happy endings and never getting to have my own, I'm happy! And the moon goddess hasn't done a damn thing to make that happen." He stands too. He's not a tall wolf, but he towers over his grandmother. His lower lip trembles. "I'm happy!" He sees his grandmother raise a hand to slap him for his words against the moon goddess, and he makes no move to stop her.  
"Mom!" his own mother yells, rushing over to them and grabbing her mother's wrist. "What is going on?" Jongin doesn't make to answer Byulhee, and his grandmother falls silent, her hands falling from her daughter's grip to rest at her side once more.  
"I told you stories," she whispers. "And you chose to believe them better than my teachings about our goddess."  
"Mom, calm down," Byulhee tries.  
"You told me to follow my heart," Jongin exclaims. "I'm trying to do that, and now you-"  
"I am happy for you," his grandmother says before Jongin can make another accusation. "I am just worried." Her words rings hollow, echoing her disapproval.  
Jongin shakes. He dips his head in apology to his mother. "I'm sorry, Ma," he murmurs, hoping to keep how badly he wants to cry out of his voice. "I'll come back another time." He turns then and scrambles to get into his winter gear. As he leaves, he hears Byulhee complaining to his grandmother about ruining her time with her son, about upsetting Jongin when he's with child. Jongin is truly apologetic he didn't get to see his mother for longer or his father, but he can't even see straight through the rage right now.  
"Second," Taehyung calls as Jongin thunders past him. "Hey, Second!" He scrambles to catch up to Jongin.  
"What happened?" Taehyung asks. "Hey. Hey!"  
Jongin stops walking and swings around to face Taehyung. Taehyung stumbles to a halt. "Tell me the moon goddess wouldn't threaten a child's life."  
Taehyung's eyes are wide. "She wouldn't," he says. "She would never."  
"She can't," Jongin stresses, and suddenly the hysteria shatters through his own ears. "If she's a real god, she just can't!" Taehyung wraps his arms around Jongin, pulling him in close against him.  
"Whatever Grandma said," Taehyung soothes, "she's probably being dramatic. You know how she is about the moon goddess-"  
"She said-"  
"She says a lot of things," Taehyung interrupts. "But even she doesn't know the future." He whispers like it's some sort of conspiracy, "Sometimes old people don't know what they're saying."  
Any other day, and Jongin might have laughed with his cousin. Right now, Jongin just wants to go home and forget about the riddles and storms and his grandmother's apparent anger.  
"Leader must be back by now," Taehyung says. "Let's get you home." Jongin doesn't fight him, just allows himself to be led back to real comfort. To his cabin.  
To Kyungsoo.  
~*~  
Jongin, for all his excitement over being with child, hates how useless he feels when his stomach is doing its best to get in the way of everything. He can no longer rest his face on his knees when he gets tired in the middle of donning shirts and pants, and he can't flop down face first on his furs. His insides feel like they're about to ooze out of his pores. All he does these days is eat and take the occasional walk through the slowly melting snow. The pack now has an abundance of dried meat to eat since the return of the hunting party last month, and Jongin is getting fat, the lines of his face rounded. There is only one moon left before his pup is due, and for Jongin, the final full moon can't come fast enough.  
It also can't come slow enough.  
Pleasure weighs Jongin's shoulders down, and he sighs hugel into the flames of the fire pit in his and Kyungsoo's cabin. Only one moon left means his control over his human form will only be tested for one more night, but one more moon also means his child is almost here. Jongin's heart beats faster in both fear and anticipation. He presses his hands to his chest. His skin is softer these days, more sensitive. The cold feels colder, and Kyungsoo's touch feels warmer.  
Jongin taps his toes on the wood flooring, waiting for Yerim to come knocking on the door. Juhyeon had told Jongin she was ready to be given permission to begin her final rounds of training before she's seen as a fully-fledged wolf in the eyes of the pack. Jongin, as Second, has jurisdiction over all the omegas in the pack. He's the one who makes the final decision as to whether or not Yerim is ready.  
She's late though, and Jongin is uneasy. It's unlike her. High noon passed quite some time ago, and that's when he had asked Juhyeon to tell Yerim to come meet him in the cabin. Jongin's throat feels tight. Jeongguk and Sooyoung and gone with Changmin and Minseok on the hunting expedition and had come back welcomed as wolves by the pack instead of pups. Yerim grew up with them; she's always been a few sun cycles older than her age. With maturity like that, Juhyeon is probably right that the omega girl is ready.  
But she's not here to prove that to Jongin, and instead of that disproving to him her readiness, all it does is send dread twisting down his spine until Jongin's shoulders and neck ache with worry.  
He pushes himself to his feet and struggles to bind them in leather with his stomach acting as an inconvenient obstacle. Spring is approaching, but the snow still stubbornly coats the ground, the air still clinging to the cold. Jongin grabs his fur coat and shrugs it on, tying it closed as best he can around his swollen stomach. He opens the door, peering out and half expecting to see Yerim waiting there, her hair whipping around her head in the wind.  
No one greets him, and Jongin forgets the chill of the wind in his need to find the pup. He forges through the well-worn path in the snow that leads from the cabin to the glade and nearly trips when his toes tangle in the frozen long grasses trampled in the glade. He glances around, forcing his eyes to take in everything around him, ignoring his rising panic as best as he can.  
He spots Juhyeon talking to Seulgi's mentee, showing him how she can use her smaller size against the larger alpha boy. A few paces away, Seulgi stands with her arms crossed, observing the exchange. She barks warnings for her mentee as Juhyeon advances on him.  
"Juhyeon!" Jongin shouts, and the alpha female unfurls from her crouch immediately, turning to face in Jongin's direction. The boy tries to take a swing at her, using her distraction to his advantage, but Seulgi is already there, twisting his arm and forcing him to his knees. "Where's Yerim?" Jongin calls out, and Juhyeon's respectful expression turns to one of complete confusion. She glances towards Seulgi, but the omega can only shrug in response.  
"She should be with you, Second," Juhyeon answers. "Or did you forget that today she-"  
"I didn't forget," Jongin states. He twists his fingers together. "I was waiting for her, but she never came."  
"She never...?" Juhyeon sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, and Seulgi gives her mentee a fond kick, telling him to run along home before she comes up beside Juhyeon.  
"She left early this morning after you talked to her," Seulgi says, folding her hand into the crook of Juhyeon's elbow. "She can't have forgotten to go in between then and high noon."  
Juhyeon looks at Seulgi, and her eyes are shining with worry, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. Her skin is pale, the rosy flush from the exertion of a mock fight faded from her cheeks. "I did tell her to go see you," Juhyeon confirms. Her attention shifts to Jongin. "I told her yesterday and reminded her this morning. Seulgi was there."  
"You did tell her high noon, didn't you?" Jongin checks. Bile rises in the back of his throat.  
"I told her to go before high noon so she wouldn't be late," Juhyeon confirms. "She never... She didn't come?" Jongin shakes his head.  
"I haven't seen her," he says. "And I haven't caught even a scent of her since coming into the glade. There's nothing around the cabin either." Juhyeon glances around the edges of the glade as if Yerim will pop out and laugh at her successful prank. She freezes with her eyes focused north towards the mountains.  
"Oh no," she exhales, and Seulgi shakes her lightly.  
"What does that mean?" Jongin demands.  
"Speak, Juhyeon," Seulgi encourages, gentler than Jongin but just as urgent. If Jongin sees himself as Yerim's older brother, Seulgi would be her older sister. The two of them have watched out for her since she was a tiny two-sun-cycles-old pup trying to keep up with Sooyoung and Jeongguk.  
“She went running," Juhyeon whispers, eyes wide. Fear dilates her pupils. "She wanted to test herself one last time before she went to meet with you."  
"Where did she go running?" Jongin demands, and his heart is pounding almost too loudly for him to hear Juhyeon's answer. He knows what it is anyway.  
"A territory loop," Juhyeon answers slowly. "She said she was going to run the borders as fast as she-"  
"Shit," Jongin snarls. "We have neighbors who would do anything to steal our land, and she's out running the edges of it!" Juhyeon shakes her head, looking for all the world like she's trying to reject exactly why Yerim hasn't shown up to visit Jongin today. Jongin looks at Seulgi. "Go find Jongdae," he orders. "We need speed." He looks back at Juhyeon. "Go get Leader. Now." The two women nod and take off sprinting in opposite direction across the glade. Jongin watches them go, his body itching to run too.  
Yerim is out there somewhere, probably hurt, maybe even... Jongin doesn't want to consider that possibility, but it exists. She could be dead.  
"S-second?" an older voice reaches out to Jongin, and he turns. A wolf only a few sun cycles older than Jongin's mother, a beta named Rayeon, stands with timid posture only a few paces from him. Her features are achingly familiar, and Jongin's heart shatters even before the wolf opens her mouth to speak again. "Are you talking about my daughter?" she asks. her voice trembles. "My Yerim?"  
Jongin watches the woman's face crumble into tears as he gives one slow nod.  
"Oh," she says. "No...I haven't... my baby..." She gasps for breath, her body shaking.  
“Rayeon," Jongin begins. "We're going to send wolves out to find her-"  
"Where is my little girl?" Yerim's mother screams, grabbing onto Jongin's hands. The woman's legs falter beneath her, and Jongin squeezes her hands, encouraging her to stay standing.  
"We're going to find her," he promises.  
"Where is she?" Rayeon demands again, her voice shaking and breaking into terrified sobs.  
"I don't know," Jongin answers honestly. "But we're going to find her." Rayeon covers her mouth with one hand, the other fisted in the front of the cloak draped over her shoulders. The lines around her eyes deepen, and she crumbles to her knees, shoulder heaving with her silent screams. Jongin drops to his knees in front of her, opening his arms for the woman to fall into. She leans against his shoulder, crying, begging him to find her daughter, to bring her back alive. Jongin wishes he could go; he would already be running around the territory in search of Yerim if he could.  
"Second!" Jongdae calls out from the other side of the glade. Jongin isn't surprised at all to see him first: the fastest wolf in the pack, indeed. He races to Jongin's side, only slightly winded as he skids to a half beside him. He can't stand still, weight shifting from foot to food. "Seulgi told me-"  
"Start running," Jongin orders immediately. "Follow her trail around the territory. Howl once you find her." Jongdae nods, stripping out of his coat and shirt. Most of the weight he'd gained during pregnancy is already thinned in the harsh winter season. He wolf is just as small and wiry as always, lean muscles lending to his incredible speed. Jongdae bounds away, picking up speed until he seems to be nothing more than a blur disappearing into the trees.  
"He'll find her," Jongin assures Rayeon. He pats her back. Her sobs are loud against Jongin's neck. Yerim isn't lost yet, but he knows the pain of losing one's child. He hopes Rayeon has never suffered that pain. He hopes she won't have to learn how that feels today. He glances up towards the moon, wonders if anyone is there listening.  
It's easier to believe when hope is all he has.  
Still, there is no mysterious voice of the moon goddess talking to Jongin next, no mysterious silver woman soothing Rayeon from her fear. Seulgi and Juhyeon return, running to meet in the middle of the glade. Kyungsoo follows close behind Juhyeon, and his face is already set in understanding of the situation. He kneels in front of Jongin; he reaches out a hand to settle it on Jongin's shoulder.  
"I have to go," he says. "Will you be okay?"  
"Don't worry about me," Jongin says. "I'm fine." Kyungsoo's fingers drop from his shoulder to his stomach. "We're both fine," Jongin adds. Kyungsoo nods, reassured. He stands.  
"Juhyeon, Seulgi," he begins. "Go send out search parties on my orders. Anyone who can go. No one leaves the glade alone, understood?" The two women dip their heads.  
"I understand, Leader," Juhyeon says. Jongin doesn't miss the way Seulgi squeezes the alpha female's hand just before Juhyeon sprints away towards the lines of cabins hidden in the woods to call out wolves to search for her mentee. Seulgi bows to Kyungsoo.  
"I'll alert the medicine hut to be prepared for anything," she says. "And then I'll join Juhyeon."  
"Go," Kyungsoo says by way of agreement. He looks at Jongin then. "I'm going to find her," he promises, and Rayeon trembles in Jongin's arms, her sobs quieted for only a moment as she registers her Leader's promise.  
"Find her," she pleads. Kyungsoo's paws leave huge tracks in the snow, his wolf form barreling through the snow and towards the western borders.  
Jongin watches his mate disappear beyond the trees, and he's suddenly aware of just how cold it is out here in his human skin when Rayeon shivers. Jongin's teeth chatter.  
"Come," he urges, patting Rayeon's back to get her attention. "Let's get you some tea and wait together." Rayeon doesn't vocalize her agreement, but she does stand and help Jongin back to his feet. She leans against him, seeking comfort from her Second as they make their way towards the medicine hut. Seulgi darts from the hut just as they reach the entrance, and Byulyi and Yongsun are already there to take Rayeon away from Jongin, already murmuring prayers to the moon goddess as they go.  
Jongin is left alone in the entrance of the medicine to wait for one of the pack members to return with Yerim. Best case scenario, she somehow managed to get lost in the snow and will come back brightly smiling with her cheeks colored in embarrassment. Worst case, Jongin smells the blood before he sees the body.  
"She's fine," he tells himself, but even he is having a hard time believing that there's any way Yerim will be completely fine. The dread in his spine has made it to the pit of his stomach, twisting and turning until he's not sure how anyone can survive this agony. His eyes sting from the wind, but still Jongin will not pull away from the hut's doorway. He peers out into the white, waiting for Yerim to come prancing back home.  
Instead, when the sun is nearly set and the medicine hut is too hot with all the torches lit along the walls, Jongin smells blood before he sees the body.  
"No," he whispers to himself, pressing his fist to his mouth. "No this can't-" He catches Kyungsoo's scent, and he looks up where the forest crests down into the glade. Cradled in his mate's arms and naked and limp, is Yerim. Her head lolls back over the crook of Kyungsoo's elbow, and her arms swing in the air like broken branches. Blood is smeared all down Kyungsoo's torso, and it takes one brief moment of panic before Jongin understands that all of that blood is not Kyungsoo's. He can't see even a scratch on the alpha wolf. The panic comes back full force when he realizes that it's Yerim's blood soaking Kyungsoo's skin.  
He steps fully out from the medicine hut, and he only just steps out of the way in time for Jongdae to come speeding from the trees, hurtling into the medicine hut and howling an alert for an emergency patient.  
So Yerim's alive. If there's a need for the head priestess to come immediately, she's only barely hanging on, but she's alive. There's a chance she'll make it. Jongin just isn't sure how large that chance is. The omega girl's right leg dangles, twisted back the opposite direction from the way its supposed to face. Bone and muscle are visible, blood gushing from the open tears in her skin. Her face is so pale. She's lost so much blood.  
Kyungsoo can't get to the hut fast enough. The short stretch of the glade from him to the medicine hut seems to stretch on and on forever as Jongin watches him cross to the priests waiting to lead him to a pallet in one of the wards. Jongin holds his breath, and he can't look but he also can't look away from Yerim.  
"Yerim," he murmurs, terror gripping his chest. The priests take Yerim from Kyungsoo's arms the moment he's close enough, and Jongin collapses back against him, shaking as he watches them take Yerim away.  
"She's alive," Kyungsoo tells him. "But any longer, and she... she wouldn't be." He tilts Jongin's face up to look at him directly. "You probably saved her life."  
"You brought her back," Jongin argues.  
"Jongdae is the one who found her," Kyungsoo says. "Our neighbors found her and left her for dead like that. The scent of that pack was everywhere." Jongin doesn't bother to hold back the anguished snarl that rips from his throat. Attacking his pack is despicable, but attacking a pup is unforgivable. Jongin wants to march over there and tear all of their throats from their necks one by one just for laying one claw on Yerim. They deserve that much.  
"Jongin," Kyungsoo whispers against Jongin's temple. "Calm down. You need to stay calm. For Yerim's sake. For our pup." Jongin tries, but it's hard. Yerim is hovering between walking the earth and walking with stars, and Jongin is grateful for Kyungsoo's steady presence. The alpha wolf's heartbeat is too fast; it belays his own panic, his own need to know if Yerim will live. His hands are steady. "Let's go inside." Kyungsoo doesn't try to lead Jongin away from the medicine hut, instead directing him to settle on one of the logs carved in a bench in the entrance hall. He sits beside him, and Jongin never lets go of his hand.  
"I need to see her," Jongin says. "Her mother- she needs to- Rayeon needs to-"  
Footsteps come down the hall, and Jongin pauses, looking up at the familiar smell of one of the few priestesses he likes. "Rayeon is sleeping now," Hyejin says, giving a tense wave with her arrival. "We gave her a calming tea and poppy. She was going to make herself sick if we didn't."  
"Yerim will want to see her when she wakes," Jongin starts, making to stand. Kyungsoo pulls him back against him, keeping him sitting down.  
"If Yerim wakes," Hyejin says honestly. It's then that Jongin notices the blood splashed up her forearms and recognizes it as Yerim's blood. "She's... it's a miracle she's still breathing right now." She tries to offer Jongin a smile, but it falls short. "The head priestess is taking care of her personally. That's the best we can hope for." The priestess looks back towards the entrance to the ward she came from. "I should go back. I'll let you know when you can see her." She disappears back behind the heavy leather drapings covering each ward, and Jongin sits still, hoping she'll return any second and say Yerim is fine, say Jongin can go play with the kid.  
If she lives, he'll allow her to become a wolf in the pack. Surviving injuries like that is test enough.  
Jongin begins to doze off somewhere after the moon has come out to wash everything in silver, and he dimly registers Kyungsoo leaving to relieve everyone searching for Yerim from their duties, to thank them for their help. He doesn't miss Kyungsoo's kiss on the top of his head, and he does miss Kyungsoo's warmth once he's gone. He's shaken awake by a slim hand, cool and just washed with lavender to cut away the scent of blood. He blinks heavy eyes open to see Hyejin and Wheein standing over him.  
"Do you want to see her?" Wheein asks, and Jongin tries to stand faster than his pregnant body will allow him to. He nearly falls, but both priestesses grab him, steadying him. "This way," Wheein urges, leading him deeper into the medicine hut.  
The head priestess and another priest stand around Yerim's pallet, and Jongin can't get to the pup's side fast enough. She's covered in bandages, body completely still save for her shallow breathing. He chokes back a horrified cry.  
"She's going to live," the head priestess says. Jongin drops to kneel at Yerim's side, driven by his grief and weight of his doubt for the head priestess' words. He grabs for Yerim's hand. The priests all retreat one by one until it's just Jongin and the head priestess in the ward with Yerim. He's exhausted, but he can't sleep; he can't move away from Yerim when this pup whom he's always treated as his little sister could stop breathing at any moment. The head priestess can assure him all she wants that Yerim will live because the moon wills it, but Jongin will not be convinced. He won't be convinced until Yerim opens her eyes and smiles at him with all her teeth.  
"How is...?" Jongin tries to ask but trails out. He can see for himself. The blood soaked blankets underneath Yerim and the pale pallor of her skin belay more than any answer from the priestess could. She's fragile right now, and the wrappings on her leg go all the way up to her waist. "Will she be able to walk?" he asks instead. Right now, even being able to stand seems impossible.  
"She will never be able to fight again," the high priestess says, and she sounds horribly distraught, more emotion etched into her features than Jongin has ever seen before. "But she will walk."  
"Are you sure?" Jongin asks. Doubt holds him in its arms.  
"I am certain," the head priestess assures. "I have been waiting for this moment, though I wish the circumstances were not so gruesome." She lays her hand on Yerim's forehead, brushing back strands of hair. "This pup will be my successor."  
Anger flashes hot through Jongin, searing into his chest and loosening his tongue. "A sign you've been waiting for?" He rounds on the head priestess. "This is a sign? The moon goddess considers this a sign?"  
"The moon goddess shows her will in ways that make sense to her but do not always seem to be anything more than riddles or violence to us." The head priestess emphasizes her answer with a gesture at Yerim. Jongin shakes his head. His vision is tinged in red.  
"The moon goddess is sick if she thinks that mutilating a pup - nearly killing a pup! - is the best way to show whom she's chosen as her next priestess," Jongin hisses. He tightens his grip on Yerim's hand. "Get out."  
"Second, if she- if anything changes, I need to be here to-"  
"I'll howl if something happens," Jongin snarls. "I said 'get out.' Reflect on why we worship a goddess who does this." His tears are hot, angered. The head priestess in enraged at Jongin's choice of words for the moon goddess. Jongin doesn't care. All he cares about right now is Yerim being alive. The head priestess lingers, hovering another few moments longer before she finally retreats with a gentle reminder to just howl if Yerim needs her.  
If Jongin had his way, the head priestess would never touch Yerim again. But Jongin never does seem to get his way.  
Jongin's temples pound from the ceaseless crying, from the ceaseless worry, from the sharp tang of blood, and he can't feel his feet. His knees ache from kneeling, but still he does not stop holding onto Yerim's hand, fingers against her wrist to feel her pulse. It's there, steady under his touch. Jongin wipes his tears from his face.  
"Don't take her," he pleads with the moon goddess, and he wishes, for once, that the goddess were real and capable of granting his wish. "Please, please don't take her." He squeezes Yerim's hand and ducks his head with the force of his fervent wishing. The hand in his tightens around his fingers.  
Jongin looks up, relief flooding him at Yerim's barely opened eyes.  
"Second," she croaks, and Jongin ignores his body's protests, pushing himself up from his knees to sit on the side of Yerim's pallet.  
"Oh, thank fuck," Jongin says, swallowing thickly. His tears change from worried desperation to overwhelming relief, and he wipes at his face.  
"Where's my mom?" Yerim asks, her voice scratchy. Jongin adjusts her pillow under her head and pushes hair from her face. Her skin is sticky with sweat, but she's alive. She's alive.  
"She's sleeping," Jongin says. "She was so worried about you. We all were." He tugs gently on Yerim's hair. "They had to give her poppy to calm her down. It may be a few hours before she wakes up, but I don't really know."  
"I just want to see her as soon as I can," Yerim whispers, hoarse. Jongin nods.  
"As soon as she's awake," he promises. "You can keep sleeping too. You need your rest. You need to heal."  
"I'm done sleeping for just a moment, I guess," Yerim says, her voice breathy and tired. "My dream ended, and I had to wake up." Jongin runs his fingers through Yerim's hair until he's got it all gathered under her left ear. He slowly works the long mass of hair into a braid.  
"I'm just glad you're alive," he says. "For a moment there, I wasn't sure- Juhyeon wasn't sure- we all thought... anyway. You're alive. That's all I can ask for."  
Yerim smiles; the expression is exhausted and slightly pained, but it's genuine. "I wasn't going to die," she promises. "I was never in danger of death."  
Jongin stares at her in incredulity. "You were on the verge of bleeding out," he says. "You could have died. If Kyung- if Leader hadn't found you in time-"  
"I couldn't have died because I am going to become head priestess," Yerim whispers. "That is what I'm meant to do." The head priestess' words spin in Jongin's mind, now echoed in Yerim's voice.  
"No," Jongin argues. "No. You are to be whatever you want to be. You don't have to become anything just because the head priestess says that's how things are meant to be-"  
"The moon goddess told me," Yerim interjects softly. "I heard her in my sleep. She called out to me and told me that I am hers." She looks up at Jongin with bright eyes colored silver instead of deep brown. Jongin blames the glow of the moon making its way into the medicine hut. "I am supposed to be her priestess."  
"You don't have to-"  
"Yes, I do," Yerim says. "I've been called to do this." She snorts. "Besides, I won't be much of a warrior anymore." Her eyes are sad focused down on her carefully wrapped leg. "This is something I can do. I'll still be indispensable to the pack. To you."  
"You will always be indispensable to me, pup," Jongin tells her. He shifts to lay down beside Yerim, offering her comfort the way an older brother should. He doesn't want this - priesthood - for her, doesn't want her to be trapped in servitude to the moon, but she is her own wolf. She can make her own decisions. He would never take that from her. Yerim hums, snuggling carefully against Jongin's shoulder.  
"And this way," Yerim says, reaching out to touch Jongin's belly, "I'll be here when your pup is born. And the next one and the next one."  
"I'm holding you to that," Jongin whispers. "Your mom will wake soon. For now, sleep." He pokes Yerim's cheek gently and holds her until she drifts off to sleep again. She's not going to be the same Yerim she was this morning when she left, not physically. But her determination is still all there, and Jongin's heart aches. He doesn't move until Seulgi and Juhyeon walk in. Their hands are tightly linked, their mouths drawn into tight lines of tension.  
"Second," Juhyeon starts, "she's my responsibility. I'll watch her. You need to go rest."  
"I'm not sure how much rest I'll get tonight," Jongin murmurs with a dark chuckle. Still, he relents for the sake of the baby. "Watch her closely, okay?"  
"I won't even blink," Juhyeon promises. Seulgi leaves Juhyeon's side to help Jongin stand, her hand settled on the small of his back until he finds his balance. Juhyeon helps him wrap himself up in his coat again and drapes her own cloak across his shoulders. "Stay warm," she requests.  
"Leader sent us," Seulgi reveals. "He says he can't sleep until you return to the cabin."  
"I'm going," Jongin says, and he hopes it isn't too obvious how light he feels at hearing those words. "Thank you, Juhyeon. Seulgi." His fellow omega dips her head to him.  
"Good night, Second."  
Jongin walks to the entrance to this ward, looking back at Yerim one last time before he leaves. The girl is still sleeping, her features mostly relaxed. Beside her, Juhyeon sits with her arms wrapped around Seulgi's waist, Seulgi's fingers tangled with hers. Jongin still remembers them fighting each other, Seulgi working hard to prove herself a capable wolf in Juhyeon's eyes, and Juhyeon's struggle to prove to Seulgi how much of a wolf she knows Seulgi is. Not so long ago, the two wolves seemed to hate each other. Now, they seem to be on the path to a wonderful love.  
Jongin wonders if maybe Juhyeon and Seulgi aren't the only ones.  
He can't sleep until you return, Seulgi had said. Jongin wishes Yerim a restful sleep and a full recovery one last time and heads out into the night to find Kyungsoo waiting for him at the cabin.  
~*~  
Chapter 4: IV  
Notes:  
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)  
Chapter Text  
Jongin is awake when the sun rises the morning before the night of the full moon, arms wrapped around his stomach. He stares at the red sky, squints into the sun chasing the color away. There's only one day - only one morning and one afternoon - before the sun goes down. And once the sun goes down, the full moon will shine with full-bodied brilliance, singing loudly, calling out to Jongin to shift forms. Jongin will not listen to it. He's only a few days away from meeting his pup.  
The rustle of fabric and Kyungsoo's footsteps sound behind Jongin, and he waits until sleep warm hands slide underneath his own on his stomach, a chin resting on his shoulder.  
"Did you sleep at all?" Kyungsoo asks. Jongin shakes his head.  
"Couldn't," he whispers. He doesn't take his eyes off the sunrise. He could probably stand here all day and watch the sun's progression across the sky until it becomes the moon glowing bright overhead.  
"Jongin..." Kyungsoo murmurs, half a sigh of worry and half a whisper of understanding.  
"This is the last day before the last moon," Jongin says. "I'm too..." He waves his hands in front of him, searching for the right word to explain his anxiety, his excitement, and his fear.  
"Yeah," Kyungsoo says. His chest is warm against Jongin's back. His lips ghost over the scars on Jongin's neck. "I know." He taps his fingers on Jongin's belly. "I feel the same."  
"But you slept," Jongin points out. He can feel Kyungsoo's grin against his shoulder.  
"I did," he admits. "And you should too. The moon's not out right now." Jongin starts to shake his head, but Kyungsoo grabs his arms and turns him around to face him. For a moment Jongin is stunned into breathlessness, Kyungsoo’s determined features in the bright morning sunlight are prettier than the moon could ever hope to be.  
Jongin swallows. “I don’t want to sleep through the day and be caught unaware when the moon-”  
“I’ll wake you,” Kyungsoo promises. “Before the sunset even starts. You haven’t been sleeping well for days, Jongin.” Jongin lowers his eyes to Kyungsoo’s hands on his arms.  
“I…” He shakes his head instead of speaking, and Kyungsoo seems to understand, pulling him in close, hugging him as best he can with Jongin’s stomach between them.  
“Just sleep, yeah?” Kyungsoo urges. “Most likely the pup kicking will wake you before I even have a chance to.” Jongin snorts against Kyungsoo’s neck. He’s not wrong. If not the pup, the ache in his back is sure to drag him up from sleep, and the worry niggling in the back of his mind isn’t going to let him rest for long. “Just a nap?” Kyungsoo tries.  
“Okay,” Jongin acquiesces. “A nap.”  
“Good,” Kyungsoo says. His hand smoothes down Jongin’s back, warmth flooding through Jongin instead of the chill of the early spring air. He kisses the top of Jongin’s head, and Jongin relaxes. If he were a different wolf, one who isn’t Second, he thinks he might have whined at Kyungsoo to stay, but he is Second, and his mate is Leader. He can’t hide Kyungsoo away from the pack for his own comfort.  
Kyungsoo keeps his face pressed to Jongin’s head for a moment longer, inhaling, and Jongin tightens his grip on Kyungsoo for only a moment. There’s one more kiss left in Jongin’s hair, and Kyungsoo whispers his goodbye before stepping out into the chill. Jongin watches him go, worrying his bottom lip. The pup kicks, and Jongin grimaces.  
“He’s teaching you bad habits before you’re even born,” his mutters, rubbing a hand over his stomach. The pup kicks again, and Jongin can take a hint. He closes the cabin door and turns to settle down in his furs. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to sleep when his baby is obviously awake and excited, but he can at least rest.  
This close to whelping, Kyungsoo and Seungwan are doing their best to take over Jongin’s duties, only bothering him with issues entirely out of their jurisdiction. He’s ready for this pup to be born; he’s ready to return to full strength, to fully immerse himself in pack life again.  
He’s also ready to give Kyungsoo the family he’s wanted for close to two decades now. That means Jongin will be part of Kyungsoo’s family, but really, when he really thinks about that, it’s not so bad. There’s no one he trusts more than the alpha wolf.  
Jongin doesn’t have any awareness of falling asleep, but when his eyes open, it’s not to Kyungsoo’s hands on his shoulders or to the late-afternoon sun. The sky is burnt orange, fading dim to purple, barely creeping through cracks in the cabin walls along with a scent that Jongin has tasted alongside mouthfuls of fur and blood. It’s a scent he thought he may never catch again. Their neighbors were all but devastated in their attempts to take Jongin’s pack’s land; they shouldn’t have the strength to attack Jongin’s pack in their home anymore.  
The cabin door slams open. The wood splinters. Jongin’s heart lodges in his throat. The palest silver light of the rising moon spills into the cabin alongside the glow of sunset. Jongin scrambles to his feet, arms curled protectively around his stomach.  
“I thought I smelled milk,” is spoken alongside a sneer in the deep voice of a tall beta. “The mighty Second, pregnant.” He snorts. Jongin refuses to tremble. There’s no way Kyungsoo isn’t aware of what’s happening; there’s no way Kyungsoo isn’t on his way right now.  
Outlined by the dark mix of sun and moon, wolves of the other pack stand in human form, claws and teeth bared as they walk into the cabin. Jongin takes one step back. Any other day, any day when Jongin isn’t heavily pregnant, he wouldn’t fear. He knows he could fight them at full strength; he could most likely win. But he’s pregnant, and tonight is the full moon.  
Tonight is the night when wolves are at their strongest, and Jongin is supposed to remain calm and ignore his wolf form. If the other pack is determined to make another attempt on Jongin’s pack, this is the only night to do it.  
“You’re intruding,” Jongin informs them. “Get out of pack lands now, and I’ll ask my mate to spare you.”  
The first wolf who had spoken, the tall beta, barks out a laugh. “Spare us?” The fury twisting his features only looks deeper in the shadows. “Like you spared my mate?” Images of the small clearing where Seungwan had almost bled to death, where Jongin had ripped the throat of an alpha female out, soaking his paws in blood, flit through his memory.  
So this is revenge. It’s maybe suicide too, but that’s only if Kyungsoo - if anyone - shows up before this beta makes a move to kill Jongin. This other pack can’t defeat Jongin’s pack, but they can defeat him. He’s defenseless right now. He presses his hands harder against his belly.  
“She wouldn’t leave my pack’s land,” Jongin counters. “She threatened us. She declared the dispute. She asked for her death.” He’s stalling, but a pregnant omega versus two alphas and two betas, one of which is hell-bent on revenge, is an impossible odd.  
“Your Leader stood and watched you kill her,” the beta says. He grin is wide, and his teeth are sharp. “Let’s let him watch you die too. You and your pup.” Jongin’s eyes go wide. He darts left, trying to run, to get out of the cabin. He’s fast, but he’s not nearly fast enough. One alpha grabs his around the neck. He slams Jongin back against the cabin wall. His head cracks against the wood. His vision blurs. He can’t breathe; he doesn’t loosen his arms from protecting his unborn pup. The alpha’s claws prick the skin of Jongin’s neck, and Jongin chokes on a scream.  
“Leader,” he croaks through the pressure around his neck. “Lead-!” There’s not nearly enough sound for Kyungsoo to hear him. Jongin’s head feels light; his body feels heavy.  
“Listen to him,” the other beta present sneers. “Calling for his alpha.” He walks up to stand at his alpha pack mate’s side, arms crossed, peering down his nose at Jongin. “Wasn’t it you who said our pack has misunderstood omegas? Now look at you.” Jongin’s eyes flutter, but still he does his best to glare the alpha. The edges of his vision are darkening. He needs to breathe. He really needs to-  
“Weak and pregnant,” the alpha choking him snorts. “Just an omega.” Jongin spits in his face. The alpha rears back, face twisted in disgust. His grip loosens just enough, and Jongin lets his claws out, tearing through the alpha’s wrist. His index claw sinks deep, slicing all the way to the bone. The alpha cries out, a loud, pained howl. Jongin reaches for his other wrist. If he can tear through them both, the alpha will bleed out in seconds.  
The beta who had taunted Jongin grabs his arm, his claws sinking into his bicep. His other arm wraps around Jongin’s middle, claws aiming to tear through the skin of his stomach. Jongin covers his stomach with his free arm, and the beta’s claws dig into his forearm. Jongin grits his teeth against the pain, still gasping for breath. His neck aches, and his knees feel a mere second from buckling. The alpha Jongin had clawed is the one who collapses instead, gripping his profusely bleeding wrist. His face is white.  
Jongin snarls at him. “How embarrassing,” he coughs. “An alpha killed by a pregnant omega.” The alpha tries to snarl back, but his eyes roll back in his head. Jongin kicks out at him. His foot smashes weakly into the alpha’s cheek, but it’s enough to sprawl him out on the floor. “Do me a favor and die, won’t you?”  
The beta whose mate Jongin killed all those months ago rounds on him, pressing his claws against Jongin’s chest. He can’t tear through Jongin’s ribs to his chest, but he can surely feel the frantic, panicked beating of Jongin’s heart. His smile is furious. Jongin bares his teeth at him, and the beta grabs his jaw. The beta holding Jongin laughs at him, cruel in his ear.  
“You bitch,” the beta gripping Jongin’s chin snarls. “You really want to die, don’t you?” His fingers close around Jongin’s neck. “Come on,” he orders his pack mates. “Let’s go present this one’s alpha with his bitch’s execution.” Jongin tries to howl, tries to warn Kyungsoo and the rest of the pack, but the sound cuts out with the tightening of the hand around his throat.  
The beta with his claws buried in Jongin’s arms shoves Jongin forward, and the beta seeking revenge walks with his hand still curled around Jongin’s neck. The other alpha of the party pricks his claws against Jongin’s stomach, and Jongin is forced to comply just to protect the life of his child. He’s dragged from the cabin by these three, the alpha Jongin had attacked left to bleed out on the cabin floor.  
It’s not quite as cold as it used to be, but spring is never mild in the mountains. Jongin’s fingers and toes are numb within seconds, and he hisses as he stumbles over rocks and through the grass as he’s dragged to the glade. His own blood and the hands holding him are the only sources of warmth in the chill air.  
He looks around with wide eyes at the rest of the attack party creeping out behind the three wolves holding Jongin hostage. They were all waiting around the cabin, and Jongin is suddenly so grateful Kyungsoo had left him to sleep longer than he’d promised. If Kyungsoo had been there, these wolves would no doubt have not hesitated even a moment to kill Leader and Second, to take revenge for their Alpha and Beta.  
Jongin can accept death for himself if it means Kyungsoo lives.  
There’s only maybe twenty wolves from the other pack here in total, but they’ve got Jongin hostage. They’ve got more leverage than they probably know what to do with. Jongin glances up at the moon as the last of the sunset begins to fade from the sky.  
Please, he thinks. Snarls and warning barks rise up into the sky as they reach the glade, and the wind switches direction. Jongin wants to cry; he’s afraid for his pack. He’s afraid for what their neighbors might do to them with Jongin captured.  
“Leader!” The beta holding Jongin’s neck bellows as the drag Jongin over the crest of the glade. Jongin watches Kyungsoo turn, watches his focus close in on Jongin and the blood dripping from his arms. He watches him bare his teeth, his own claws showing.  
The moonsong echoes vaguely in the back of Jongin’s mind, and the terror in Kyungsoo’s eyes is obvious to him.  
Control, he urges himself, trying to take an even breath. Stay in control.  
“Release him,” Kyungsoo growls. Seungwan stands at Kyungsoo’s side, crouched and ready to barrel into an attack. Kyungsoo holds his arm out to his side, stopping her. The entire pack is already in the glade, preparing for the run. The faintest touch of relief warms Jongin. At least those who can’t fight are already hidden away inside their cabins or in the medicine hut, taking precautions from the call of moonsong.  
“Why the fuck would I do that?” the beta laughs. “I owe him a debt.” Kyungsoo takes a step forward, and the beta’s grip on Jongin’s throat tightens. Kyungsoo halts.  
“What debt?” Kyungsoo demands. The beta snarls in angered glee.  
“He killed my mate while you watched on, Leader,” he explains. “I figure I’ll kill him while you watch on. An eye for an eye. A life for a life.”  
Kyungsoo’s glare flicks from Jongin’s neck to his stomach. Jongin knows his thoughts. His life is worth two lives right now. Kyungsoo remains silent, and Jongin stares out at his pack. They seem to be collectively holding their breaths, waiting for Kyungsoo’s orders. Taehyung and Hoseok move carefully up to Kyungsoo’s side opposite of Seungwan and Jongdae.  
“Your goals are rather small,” Seungwan goads them. “A life for a life? That’s all you want?”  
“We want your hunting grounds too,” the alpha with his claws against the skin of Jongin’s belly adds. “That’s why this started. But now, we also want this pretty thing’s life.” Jongin can’t stop himself. He snarls, snapping his teeth at the alpha. The beta holding his arms drags his claws through the skin, digging deeper, and Jongin shouts at the pain.  
Kyungsoo grits his teeth, sinking into a crouch, and Jongin jerks his head to the right, a sharp message, a signal to tell Kyungsoo not to move.  
“I’ll hold him here, barely breathing and bleeding, until you give my pack what we want,” the beta choking Jongin warns. “Choose quickly. He can’t keep this up forever.” He shoves, and Jongin’s knees buckle. He crashes to his knees, pain splintering through his bones at the harsh contact. He hisses, shaking with the pain. He can feel the heat of his pack’s fury. Seungwan is whispering something under her breath, and Kyungsoo nods slightly.  
“You can’t hold him forever,” Kyungsoo says. He looks up at the moon. The moonsong is getting louder. Control, Jongin repeats to himself. He focuses on the pain of the claws buried in his skin to distract himself from the moonsong. He’s an omega; he can resist the shift. The ones holding him are two betas and and alpha, all male. They can’t resist the call of the moon. They’ll have to let him go, and that will be Jongin’s only chance to sprint free.  
But when the moon song reaches that point, these wolves holding him being unable to resist the change and leaving Jongin with a chance to escape will not be Jongin’s main concern. He meets Kyungsoo’s eyes. His mate is just as worried about Jongin’s own ability to maintain his human shape as Jongin is.  
“We will hold him for as long as it takes you to decide which matters more to you: the life of your mate and pup or your hunting grounds?”  
If Jongin could talk, if Jongin could breathe, he’d order Kyungsoo to choose the hunting grounds, to choose the vitality of the pack. Jongin isn’t worth more than the pack; Jongin is just one wolf. To Kyungsoo, however, Jongin has an inkling that that’s not the case.  
Wait, he mouths to Kyungsoo, to Seungwan. Both of them are watching him carefully. The moon. Soon. Kyungsoo’s mouth pulls down in a frown, but he gives a nod of his head.  
“The fuck are you saying to him, bitch?” the beta demands, and Jongin gives no reaction to his words. He flinches when the alpha’s claws draw sharp little lines over the skin of his belly. He can’t look down with the beta holding his neck like this, but he doesn’t need to look to know the alpha has broken his skin. Kyungsoo’s enraged growl verifies that for him.  
“Careful, Leader,” the alpha threatening Jongin’s pup’s life murmurs. He taps Jongin’s belly, and the veins in Kyungsoo’s neck stand out in his fury. “Make one wrong move, and your pretty omega slut dies.” He leans in next to his pack mate’s hand on Jongin’s neck, his teeth just barely scraping over the claim scars on Jongin’s shoulder.  
Jongin holds still. Everyone seems to hold still. Even the moon itself seems to be holding still, singing softly and taking its sweet time rising fully. The sky darkens slowly, the last of the orange chased from the sky. He doesn’t dare make a sound, unable to sing against the moon song for fear of the other pack taking that as cue to rip him to pieces. He turns his arms just slightly, tearing his arm just a bit more on the beta’s claws. The pain keeps his focus sharp, keeps the blood rushing in his ears loud enough to drown most of the moonsong out.  
He waits. He keeps his eyes on Kyungsoo and waits. The pack behind the Leader begins shifting, bodies moving from human to wolf form at the call of the moon. Kyungsoo closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, they glow the yellow of his wolf form. Kyungsoo falls down on four paws, pants shredded.  
The claws in Jongin’s arm loosen and retract, and the hand around his neck convulses once and lets go.  
The moon song is thunderous in volume. This is Jongin’s only chance.  
“This last attempt to save your dying pack,” he whispers, half a growl, “was futile. I hope you remember that.”  
“Bitch!” the beta screams, trying to lunge at Jongin, but the moon song catches him, and he trips, shifting. Jongin doesn’t wait even a second. He sprints forward as best he can towards Kyungsoo. Leader sees Jongin’s moment of freedom, and his howl, his order to attack, shatters the night. The pack surges forward, meeting the intruding wolves in battle. Jaws snap just behind Jongin’s head, and he trips, falling to his hands and knees. A rock digs into his hand, tearing through his palm. He turns over, long fangs of the beta wolf open and open to close over his face. Dark fur soars over Jongin, tackling the beta wolf.  
Kyungsoo’s fur is raised all along his back, his teeth bared and ears pinned. The beta fiights back, but Kyungsoo’s anger seems to have sharpened his senses, and his jaw snaps hard over the side of the beta’s skull. Blood splashes on the ground and on Jongin’s legs. The alpha and the other beta shove Jongin’s pack members away and surge towards Jongin. He tries to get up, to crawl, to protect himself somehow, but his torn arms buckle underneath him.  
“First!” Taehyung’s voice screams. Gray fur, one pelt dark and the other silver, brushes past Jongin on both sides, and Jongdae and Seungwan slam into Jongin’s would-be attackers. Seungwan fights more like Kyungsoo: brute strength and sharp, decisive attacks. Jongdae is fast, a blur of small attacks that overwhelm until his opponent is weakened and forced to succumb.  
“Second,” Taehyung’s voice is at Jongin’s side, his hands under his arms to lift him to his feet. “Let’s get you out of here.” Kyungsoo’s chest is bloodied, his claws tearing through the thick skin of the beta’s neck. Were he in human form, he’d be choking the beta now in retribution for what he’d done to Jongin.  
Taehyung hauls Jongin upright, and Hoseok, in wolf form, is at his other side. “Get on, get on,” Taehyung urges, helping Jongin clamber onto Hoseok’s back. Jongin twists his fingers in Hoseok’s fur, and the alpha wolf takes off running through the fight. Taehyung races beside them.  
Wolves of the other pack close in on them, and Jongin leans down, tightening his grip in Hoseok’s fur as the wolf runs faster. Juhyeon and Junmyeon race up beside them, tackling down two wolves before they can reach Jongin. Hoseok’s muscles stiffen under Jongin’s hand, and it’s a belated moment before Jongin realizes his claws are still out, digging into Hoseok’s skin beneath his fur.  
The next set of attackers come in three, and Yoongi leads Chanyeol and Seulgi out of the fray. They run alongside Hoseok, veering off to leap into battles of their own. Hoseok races out of the fight, hurtling back up the path to the cabin. Pawsteps fall in line behind them, gaining ground, and Jongin glances back in horror. There’s only Taehyung and Hoseok with him now, and Taehyung hasn’t even shifted forms.  
“Breathe, Second,” Taehyung soothes, panting around his words. “It’s just Yongsun and Hyejin.” He flashes the priestess a grin over his shoulder. “I asked them to come with us.” The two priestesses carry satchels in their jaws, their sides heaving as they run.  
The sounds of fighting don’t fade, amplified by the moon song as Hoseok reaches the cabin. The door still lies in splinters on the ground. He prowls into the center room where the fire pit has long burned out. Jongin wobbles, all but collapsing on the ground, the pain of his wounds and the pain of resisting the call of the moon song twisting together into sheer agony in his veins.  
His claws are still out, scratching at the wooden flooring.  
“Hoseok,” Taehyung orders. “Guard the door.”  
“There isn’t really a door,” Hyejin snarks, now standing in her human form. She pulls a loose dress from her satchel and tugs it on.  
“There isn’t a fire either,” Taehyung returns. “Why don’t you work on that?” Jongin grimaces. His claws ache, and his gums are sore. His wolf fur is so much warmer, so much more resistant to pain, and it’d be so easy to just shift.  
“Second, hey,” Taehyung calls out, kneeling at Jongin’s side. He takes Jongin’s hands in his, massaging his fingertips. “Breathe, come on. Just breathe. You’re okay.” The snarls outside say otherwise, and Jongin doesn’t miss the way Taehyung glances at Yongsun and gives her a curt nod. The priestess digs into her pack, pulling out herbs and potions.  
“What…” Jongin pants. “What is…” He groans, squeezing Taehyung’s fingers. His cousin doesn’t even flinch.  
“In case the fighting triggers you to shift,” Taehyung explains. “I thought that maybe-”  
“If you can’t control yourself, I’m going to cut your pup out of you,” Yongsun explains. Jongin’s heart stutters in his chest.  
“You’ll kill my pup before I can?” he demands. Rage blinds his vision and shatters his hold on himself, and his words become more growl than vocalized syllables. Taehyung pulls Jongin in against him, petting his hair.  
“Listen to me,” Taehyung urges. “Focus on my voice.” He begins humming, voice low and in dissonance with the moon song. Jongin clings to it, breathing hard through his nose.  
“If you shift, Second, your pup will not stand a chance,” Yongsun explains softly. Hyejin comes to sit at her fellow priestesses side, the light of the fire illuminating their worried faces.  
“If you think you’re going to shift, just tell us,” Hyejin encourages. “If your pup is out before you change forms, he or she may live.” She reaches out and touches Jongin’s knee. “No one in this pack wants to see you suffer again.” She bows her head, and Yongsun dips her head alongside her. Jongin grits his teeth, inhaling harshly through his nose.  
“Okay,” he says.  
“Let’s get his wounds cleaned,” Hyejin says to Yongsun, and the two of them begin to work instantly on cleaning any debris from the deep gouges in his arms and the shallow scrapes on his stomach. His arms will scar for sure; the poultice the priestesses press to the wounds before wrapping them stings, a burning sensation much like sitting too close to a fire. Sweat drips down Jongin’s temples, his bones aching to pop and break and reform into his wolf form. He closes his eyes, shutting out the silver glow of the moon. Taehyung’s singing blocks out the moon song, and Jongin clings to his cousin until the sound of fighting is no longer an undercurrent to his cousin’s tune.  
“It’s over,” Hyejin whispers. She stands. “I’m going to make sure no one needs help.” Yongsun waves her off, checking the ties on the linens wrapped around Jongin’s forearms.  
“Go,” she says, squeezing Jongin’s knee. “I’ve got Second.” She smiles. “He’s going to be just fine.” Maybe it’s their encouragement, maybe it’s Taehyung’s unfailing song, maybe it’s the challenge Jongin feels at these wolves who so easily maintain their human form in the face of the full moon, but he believes Yongsun.  
Howls rise up, singeing the air with the energy of victory, and Jongin groans. The sound of his pack singing, led by his mate’s low voice, makes him want to join in, but his human voice won’t produce the right sound.  
“Breathe,” he whispers to himself.  
Hoseok whimpers from the open doorframe, claws clicking restlessly over the splintered shards of the door.  
“Alpha,” Taehyung calls gently. “Come here.” Hoseok moves immediately from staring at the moon, desperate to join the back, to Taehyung’s side. Taehyung pats his paw, and Hoseok curls around Taehyung and Jongin. Taehyung pets his mate’s ears, keeping him calm and uninterested in howling with the rest of the pack. He keeps humming, and Jongin twists his fingers in Hoseok’s fur.  
“The moon song is quieting,” Yongsun murmurs. She leans forward and wipes sweat from Jongin’s face. “Leader will be here soon.”  
Kyungsoo. Jongin’s mouth shapes the syllables, but he doesn’t speak them out loud. His throat is so dry. His body aches so much, but the pain is fading from the urge to shift to the usual pains he’s suffered during pregnancy.  
“Are you going to be okay?” Yongsun asks. Jongin tries to swallow. The priestess sighs. “I’ll get you water.” She moves to the basin in the cabin, bringing back the small carved bowl filled to the bring with water. Jongin splutters around the first sip, but Yongsun is patient, slowly tipping the bowl until Jongin’s had his fill.  
“You can-” He breaks off to cough. Taehyung rubs his back. “You can go. I’ll be okay.”  
“Are you sure?” Taehyung asks him. “The full moon isn’t over yet. You could still-”  
“Leader will be here soon,” Jongin interjects. He gives Yongsun his best smile. It feels half like a grimace. “Go. Take care of the pack.” Yongsun bows to him. Her gaze shifts to Hoseok. “Howl if he needs me.” Hoseok barks his agreement, and Yongsun takes off, gathering her stuff into her satchel and running out to the pack.  
“I doubt there are many injuries,” Taehyung says. “There weren’t many of them, and they all looked so weak.” He sighs. “It was a desperate attempt. After this, there won’t be more than thirty wolves in the other pack.” His eyes are downcast. “They’ll probably all die.” Jongin bites his lower lip. He agrees completely. They deserve to die after what they’ve done to his pack, but many of them, the omegas especially, would have had nothing to do with the attacks. As much hate as Jongin feels, the innocents don’t deserve to starve to death. A fresh wave of desire to shift crashes through Jongin, and he bites harder on his lip, drawing blood. Taehyung starts humming again, and Jongin nearly crushes Taehyung’s hand in his gratitude and need to hold on to something.  
The moon song seems to continue forever, only dying when the first rays of morning light make their way into the cabin. The fire is starting to die, but the day already feels unseasonably warm.  
Jongin has nearly dozed off against his cousin’s chest when the clack of a paw entering the cabin jolts him awake. Kyungsoo, black fur reflecting the pale sunlight, steps over the threshold. He shifts as he walks over to Jongin, walking quicker until he’s sliding to his knees, pulling Jongin into his arms.  
“Are you okay?” he asks, voice pitched high and words quick.  
“I’m okay,” Jongin breathes. “Taehyung wouldn’t have let anything happen to me.”  
Kyungsoo quiets into a whisper. “I was so afraid.” Jongin tugs his hand away from Taehyung’s and tangles his fingers with Kyungsoo’s instead.  
“I’m okay,” he repeats. He presses Kyungsoo’s hand to his stomach. The pup is moving, sensing his father, but the movements are calmer now, not quite the painful kicking that had accompanied Jongin’s distress. “The pup is okay too.” Kyungsoo exhales and lifts Jongin’s hand to his lips. He kisses his knuckles and then the top of Jongin’s head. He brushes their tangled fingers over the scratch on Jongin’s shoulder from the other alpha’s teeth.  
“This had better not scar,” he mutters, tinged on a growl.  
“It doesn’t matter if it does,” Jongin tells him, tugging his hand to the scars imprinted on his neck. “I’ve got these.”  
“He’s dead anyway,” Kyungsoo says, baring his teeth. He blinks then, looking up suddenly at Taehyung and Hoseok. “I’ve got him,” he promises. Taehyung pushes himself to his feet. He dips his head, and Hoseok, still in wolf form, bares his neck in submission. Kyungsoo doesn’t give them any response; the dismissal is clear and understood.  
“Thank you,” Jongin says, and his cousin gives him a bright smile despite his exhaustion.  
“Anything for you, Second.” He winks and drapes himself over Hoseok’s back. “Carry me home, please.” Hoseok snorts but does as told, trotting out of the cabin and towards the glade. It’s a long moment before Kyungsoo speaks again, but his grip on Jongin remains tight, holding him like he might disappear any second.  
“Kyungsoo.” Jongin finally breaks the stillness. “I’m fine.”  
“Yeah, you told me that,” Kyungsoo responds, looking at him.  
“I’m not sure you believe me,” Jongin says, twisting slightly in Kyungsoo’s hold to get him to loosen his grip. Kyungsoo shakes his head. Jongin frowns. “Are you okay?”  
“No,” Kyungsoo answers immediately. “You almost died, Jongin. I’m definitely not okay.”  
“You will be?” Jongin prompts. Kyungsoo buries his face in Jongin’s hair.  
“Yes,” he speaks. “You’re okay, so I will be too.” He straightens up and sighs hugely. “I’m exhausted.” Kyungsoo reclines back against the pile of furs Jongin used to sleep in before they moved into the room they sleep in now. Jongin relaxes against him, and as the tension rushes from his body, weariness floods him in its place.  
“Yeah,” Jongin agrees. The floor isn’t particularly warm or comfortable, but right now, Jongin can’t bring himself to move. He frowns. “My back is going to hurt if we stay here,” he mutters. Kyungsoo grumbles something unintelligible, stubbornly leaning further into the furs. Jongin drops down with him, Kyungsoo’s arms around him pulling him back against the alpha wolf.  
“Just another minute,” Kyungsoo asks. “I’m trying to be thankful that you’re alive.”  
“Leader,” Jongin begins very seriously even as he plays absently with Kyungsoo’s fingers. “If it comes down to me or the pack, you have to choose the pack.” Kyungsoo stiffens.  
“You matter more to me than-” Kyungsoo cuts himself off, swallowing. “The pack would find a way to survive. If I give you up, you’re dead. You don’t get to come back from that.”  
“I know,” Jongin says. “But I- I’m only one wolf in this pack. So what if I’m Second? I’m just one part of a whole. Better to sacrifice me than everyone.”  
Kyungsoo’s voice is low, caught somewhere between fury and terror when he responds. “And what would you do if it were me?” Jongin opens his mouth to respond, and then he closes it. His mind says to choose the pack, but his heart is torn and conflicted. Kyungsoo sighs. “Come on,” he says, pushing Jongin up and slowly getting to his feet. He holds out a hand to Jongin. “Let’s go sleep. We don’t need to talk about this.”  
Jongin nods, gripping Kyungsoo’s hand and allowing the alpha wolf to pull him to his feet. Kyungsoo’s hand is warm on the small of his back, supporting him.  
“I’m getting really tired of barely being able to stand up,” he grumbles, pressing the door to their room open. Kyungsoo’s lips twitch.  
“You’re going to be in the middle of whelping and want to go back to this,” he teases, patting Jongin’s belly. Jongin snorts.  
“After this one is born, I get to go running,” he reminds Kyungsoo. “I get to be a wolf again. I can’t explain to you how much I miss it.”  
“You’ve whined about it almost every day since you found out you’re carrying,” Kyungsoo returns. “I think I have some idea.” He helps Jongin onto the large pallet of furs, dragging one of the woven blankets over them. He makes to pull Jongin back against his chest, but Jongin places a hand over his heartbeat to stop him.  
“I don’t want to forget to say this,” he says, yawning to finish his sentence. Kyungsoo yawns back at him. The sunlight is streaming in through the cracks in the cabin walls, but no matter how bright it shines, Jongin’s body will not stay awake.  
“What?” Kyungsoo asks softly. His eyes are closing too.  
“The other pack… we should absorb them,” Jongin whispers. Kyungsoo hums. “Did you hear me?” Jongin asks. “They’re not very many left, and they’re going to die if we don’t-”  
“What?” Kyungsoo asks again, sitting up. The blanket is thrown back from around Jongin, and he shivers. “They tried to kill you! We can’t just-”  
“Think about this,” Jongin requests, grabbing Kyungsoo’s wrist, stroking his thumb over his palm. “They don’t respect omegas at all. Every omega in that pack had no part in what happened. The pups are innocent. All of them… we can bring them to our back here. They just… the least we can do is give them a chance to live. They’ll die otherwise.” Kyungsoo squints at Jongin, his thoughts running laps around Jongin’s words clearly visible on his face.  
“They won’t come willingly,” he says finally.  
“They might,” Jongin says. “They might decide to leave for another territory. But we can offer sanctuary. We can offer them life.”  
“We barely have enough food right now for our own back,” Kyungsoo argues.  
“But we do have enough,” Jongin says. “And absorbing them means taking their land as well. Surely that will be enough to supplement what we lack.” He shrugs. “Otherwise, they’ll be taken in by another pack and introduce their vendetta to them.” Jongin takes Kyungsoo’s hand it presses it to his stomach again. “I don’t want our pup growing up in the midst of pack wars and territory disputes.”  
Kyungsoo’s expression softens. “You really do think of everything,” he murmurs with an incredulous shake of his head. Jongin raises an eyebrow.  
“I’m Second,” he says. “That’s my job.”  
“And I’m Leader,” Kyungsoo argues. “But between us, you’re the strongest wolf.”  
Jongin barks out a laugh then, the sound not nearly as boisterous as it would be were he not as tired as he is. “Strong?” he echoes. “I can barely make it through the full moon without shifting.”  
“But you do,” Kyungsoo asserts. “And you still have the capacity to think about foreign wolves and their needs.” He leans over Jongin then, hand against his jaw. He draws Jongin into a kiss, closed-mouthed but deep. Jongin’s eyes slip closed, and he allows himself to be kissed.  
“What would I be without you?” Kyungsoo breathes against Jongin’s lips, and Jongin would snark back, would tell him ‘dead’ or ‘impeached’ if he wasn’t already drifting off, clouds of sleep blurring his mind. “We’ll talk about this with Seungwan later,” Kyungsoo promises. He pulls the blanket back over them, tucking Jongin’s head under his chin.  
“A man is not meant to resist a goddess,” Kyungsoo whispers. “But you can and you did. I’m so proud of you.” Jongin grabs Kyungsoo’s hand under the blankets.  
“Thank you,” he breathes. Then, he sleeps.  
~*~  
Jongin is busy being lazy and lounging outside in the sun when it happens. He’s got furs wrapped around his shoulders, leaning against one of the boulders at the base of the rock formation. His round stomach makes climbing up to the ledge difficult, and getting back down isn’t even feasible. With the general feeling of being pushed out of his own body and the cramping and pain in his back, Jongin is caught in limbo, waiting and wanting to do nothing.  
The sun is bright today, and as long as the wind isn’t blowing, it’s quite warm. Jongin hopes the weather only keeps transitioning to summer from here. It’s been a long winter, and the whole pack is ready to be able to shift freely in and out of human form without worrying about the cold biting their human skin.  
The pack is taking advantage of the bright day, pups playing in the trodden grass, tails wagging and teeth bared. Seungwan and Jongdae walk with their boys bundled in furs, letting them see the sun. The pups’ fat fingers stick out of their tiny coats, arms waving in the air. One of the pups lets out shrill shriek, gums flashing. If Jongin thinks back to the days before he was put in Minseok’s care to train for the tournament, he’s assaulted with the memories of Jongdae screeching as they flashed around in the river.  
“Sieun,” Seungwan chides, kissing the babe’s forehead. Jongdae grins over at her, and Seungwan’s glare is softened by her own smile. “Your son,” she hisses. Jongdae just cuddles the pup in his arms closer to him, the little thing babbling away.  
“And yours,” he reminds her. Jongin rubs a hand over his own stomach. He hopes his pup gets the best of Kyungsoo and the best of himself, but more than that, he just wants his baby to be healthy.  
He spends the day watching the pack, watching Kyungsoo and his hunting party drag in their catch and head back out in the opposite direction to see if they can find more. A warm day like this means rabbits will be sticking their noses out of their holes, and the fattest of them will be slow and sleepy, easy catches.  
Kyungsoo flashes his teeth in Jongin’s direction. Jongin just waves him off. He's not in the mood for talking to anyone today. Observing quietly is fine, but Jongin needs to be able to walk away at any second. He's nervous; he's terrified.  
He's so excited.  
The first contraction is something he barely registers, a twinge of pain less intense than his pup attempting to break his ribs. The second contraction is not as gentle, and the third jolts him fully from his restful state. He tries to swallow back a groan, struggling to stand.  
It’s Jeongguk who notices first, skipping out of the way of Sooyoung’s heavy paw and prancing out of the play scuffle between Sooyoung, Jeongguk, and a few of the older pups. He tumbles into human form, tripping his way into his pants and bowing clumsily at Jongin, eyes worried and cheeks flushed from the play fight.  
“Second?” he asks, coming up beside Jongin and grasping his elbow, pulling him to his feet.  
“I’m fine,” Jongin tells him, but the words struggle to be convincing when Jongin himself is struggling to keep his balance and clenching his teeth. Jeongguk’s grip tightens almost imperceptibly. He can’t exactly tell Jongin that he’s not fine, but Jongin can see him thinking it. Sooyoung jogs up to them, her skirt swishing around her ankles.  
“Second,” she breathes. She reaches out to touch his stomach and then snatches her hand back. “I- do you-?”  
“I’m okay,” Jongin repeats. He is, at this moment, but given a few more, he won’t be.  
“We’ll help you to the medicine hut,” Sooyoung says. “Yerim already had a place prepared for this.” Jongin raises an eyebrow, and Sooyoung ducks her head in apology. “She’s just excited for you,” she whispers. She gestures between herself and Jeongguk. “We all are.”  
Another contraction, stronger this time, pulls Jongin’s body, and his knees nearly give out. He loops his arm over Joengguk’s shoulders and reaches for Sooyoung’s shoulders too. “Okay,” he says. “I’m trusting you two brats not to drop me.”  
Jeongguk grins. “I won’t drop you,” he promises.  
“He’ll probably drop you,” Sooyoung quips. Jeongguk sticks his tongue out at her. Their hands are steady on either side of Jongin’s waist, half-carrying him across the glade. They do not move with an expedited sense of urgency, the three of them looking like they’re just joking around. Jongin used to always hang around the two of them before he was Second, back when they were still pups. Hardly anyone gives them a second glance, but those that do break into grins. A heavily pregnant omega walking with two people, neither of whom are his mate, towards the medicine isn’t exactly a riddle to be unraveled.  
“Second is in labor,” reaches Jongin’s ears over the sound of his own blood pulsing through him. By the time they reach the medicine hut, whispers of the birth of Leader and Second’s first child are already circulating the glade.  
“Will you be okay?” Sooyoung asks, gripping Jongin’s wrist. Jeongguk pushes back the heavy leather hanging over the entrance to the medicine hut, and Jongin takes a deep breath before he lets go of Sooyoung’s shoulders and uses Jeongguk as leverage to pull himself into the hut.  
Hyejin appears almost immediately. “Second!” she gasps, eyes bright and wide. “Priestess! Byulyi! Wheein!” she calls out. “Yongsun! Second is here!” She lets Jongin lean his weight against her, pulling him out of Jeongguk’s grip. “I’ve got him, omega,” she says. “You can go.”  
“Second?” Jeongguk starts. “Are you going to be…” He trails out, bottom lip caught between his teeth.  
“Go play,” Jongin tells him. “I’m in good hands.” Next to him, Hyeran beams.  
“Good luck,” Jeongguk says, eyeing Jongin’s stomach with trepidation clear in his eyes. He whispers something about never getting pregnant before he darts out of the door. Jongin would laugh if he didn’t hurt so badly right now.  
“Are you good?” Hyejin asks. Jongin nods, but it’s a bold lie.  
“Maybe once this is over, yeah,” Jongin says.  
Hyejin is still grinning. “Come on then,” she says. “Let’s meet your pup.” She starts walking with Jongin, helping him forward. Wheein comes out to help, congratulating Jongin with her smile so big it scrunches her nose.  
“Don’t worry,” she encourages. They round a corner, and Jongin hopes they’re going to let him flop down on the next pallet they pass because otherwise he might just collapse to the floor. “There’s someone waiting for you.”  
Jongin nearly growls, and Hyejin squeezes his arm. “It’s not Leader,” she says. “Don’t worry. We’ve already told some of the priests to keep him out.”  
Relief floods Jongin. “Thank you,” he breathes. They enter a closed off corner of one of the wings in the hut, and Jongin almost doesn’t see Yerim for the pain starting to cloud his vision.  
“Second,” she greets. “I told you I’d be here when you have your pup.” She pats the furs spread out in a pallet, and Hyejin and Wheein help him settle down. “Head priestess said she didn’t want to come,” Yerim tells the others.  
“That’s okay,” Jongin pants. “I don’t want her here.”  
“Yeah,” Yerim says. “She said you’d say that.”  
“We can handle this,” Byulyi assures, and Yongsun’s nimble fingers tug at the ties on Jongin’s pants, pulling the linen down his legs.  
“Okay,” Jongin mutters, trying to swallow around a groan. “Okay.” With the contractions coming faster and harder, Jongin doesn’t even think about the fact that he’s naked in front of five priestesses, one of which he practically raised as his own sister. He splutters around some awful tea Wheein encourages him to drink, and he grips Hyejin’s fingers hard enough to break them.  
He barely registers Yerim’s fingers through his hair as she gives him instructions to breathe, to relax, to wait just a little bit longer.  
“Almost there,” Yongsun tells him. He manages to see her mouth at Wheein to give Jongin a little more tea. He only swallows half of it. Jongin has no concept of how much time has passed since this started. He’s ready for it to be over. He’d like to take the longest nap of all naps. This hurts. How long does an omega’s birth canal take to open, he wonders. He’s never asked. For a brief moment, he regrets wanting a pup.  
“Okay,” Yerim speaks up a bit later. “Here’s my hand too.” Jongin fumbles to grab her hand. “Push,” she directs, and Jongin listens. Yerim repeats the order, and Jongin has never known exhaustion like this, his blood pulsing in his ears and his hips aching from how Wheein and Byulyi have his knees drawn back.  
He might have passed out for a second. He might have forgotten to breathe. He hears the direction to push again. He grits his teeth. Yongsun’s eyebrows are drawn and focused. Jongin exhales.  
Shrill cries fill the space around them, and Hyejin is suddenly gone from Jongin’s side, hand slipping from his grip. Jongin watches her slice through the umbilical with her claws, watches Yongsun and Hyejin carefully wipe his pup clean and bundle the babe in soft linens. The child screams, little fists clenched and mouth wide.  
Jongin’s eyes sting. He can’t tell if it’s sweat or tears. Maybe both. His ears ring with crying and the priestesses giving each other directions. He blinks, trying to clear his vision. He can’t look away from the bundle in Yongsun’s arms.  
“Careful,” Yerim murmurs, helping Jongin sit up. “There’s still the afterbirth, but…” She hobbles out of the way, and Yongsun takes her place. The scent of new and young and his reaches Jongin, and he holds out his arms. Yongsun carefully hands the crying babe to Jongin, and he adjusts the pup carefully against his chest. Warmth spreads through him.  
“A boy,” Yongsun whispers. “A beta. Congratulations.”  
Jongin lets out a sob. He hadn’t even realized he was crying. His heart feels three times bigger. This is his son.  
This is his and Kyungsoo’s son.  
“Someone find Leader,” he whispers without looking up. His baby’s face is so red, eyes screwed shut and nose wrinkled up. He’s beautiful. Jongin is so utterly in love.  
“I’ll go,” Byulyi says. She rolls her eyes. “He’s probably trying to fight all the priests at once to get to you.”  
“Byulyi,” Wheein hisses. “That’s Leader you’re talking about.”  
“He’s still an alpha,” Byulyi says with a shrug. “He’s still stupid in love with his Second.” She walks out then, hair swinging over her shoulder.  
“I’ll go with her,” Yongsun announces. “Wheein. Hyejin. You know how to handle the rest?”  
“Yes,” Wheein stresses. “Just go.” Yongsun smiles at Jongin.  
“Congratulations again, Second,” she says, stepping out. Jongin barely glances at her to echo her goodbyes. He’s too busy memorizing his baby’s face.  
“He’s perfect,” Yerim whispers.  
“Healthy and loud,” Hyejin agrees. “Can you hand him to Yerim for a moment, Second?” Jongin wants to argue, wants to say no. Everything in his body is against letting his child out of his arms, but he complies, relaxing again and letting Wheein and Hyejin take care of working him through afterbirth and cleaning him up. The pup starts crying again, only calming when Jongin has him back in his arms. The baby rubs his cheek ever so slightly against Jongin’s chest, and Jongin lifts him in his hold, guiding the newborn to his nipple.  
He dimly registers Wheein saying something. Yerim laughs next to him.  
“He doesn’t even hear you right now,” she says. Hyejin and Wheein leave to fetch water, and Yerim sits at Jongin’s side quietly. Jongin half expects Kyungsoo to burst through the medicine hut loudly, but instead he only catches the scent of his mate and feels Yerim making to stand.  
“Second?” Kyungsoo’s voice reaches him, and Jongin looks up. Kyungsoo’s eyes are wide, worried, thrilled. “Are… is…” The alpha wolf’s jaw works. He looks like he might cry.  
“I’ll be outside if you need me,” Yerim murmurs. She limps out, dipping her head to Kyungsoo on her way. She looks back one more time at Jongin and the pup. Her soft whisper of congratulations is her statement of farewell.  
“Come meet your son,” Jongin whispers. His voice wobbles. He’s crying again. Kyungsoo stumbles forward, falling to his knees, kneeling beside the pallet of furs. He drops the satchel slung over his shoulder on the ground, reaching out calloused fingers to touch the feather-soft hair on the pup’s head.  
“Goddess,” he whispers. “A son.”  
“Yeah,” Jongin says. “Your son.”  
“He’s beautiful,” Kyungsoo murmurs.  
“Yeah,” Jongin repeats. He watches Kyungsoo watch their pup as he suckles.  
“Thank you,” Kyungsoo tells him. Jongin blinks. Kyungsoo gets up from his knees, sitting at Jongin’s side instead. He leans in, and Jongin lets himself be kissed. “Thank you,” Kyungsoo says again when he draws back. His fingers link with Jongin’s under the baby’s back.  
“I have no idea what to name him,” Jongin admits.  
“Well, I-” Kyungsoo starts. He purses his lips. “I don’t either.” That startles a laugh from Jongin.  
“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “We can name him later.”  
“Let your mother name him for all I care,” Kyungsoo says. “He’s healthy. He’s here.” His eyes shine. “Goddess, Jongin. He’s here.” Kyungsoo drops his head against Jongin’s shoulder, and his happy tears are warm on Jongin's skin. They sit there in silence for a moment, just the two of them and their pup, simply breathing in the reality that surrounds them.  
Wheein walks in with water, and the pup bursts into tears at the intrusion. Kyungsoo lifts the baby carefully into his hold, and his cries quiet. Wheein ducks out, apologies largely ignored by the new parents.  
“I got you something, puppy,” Kyungsoo whispers, and the baby stares at him with cloudy newborn eyes.  
“He knows your voice,” Jongin tells him. The pup gurgles. Kyungsoo’s pride and affection are visible in the strong lines of his shoulders, the soft curve of his lips. Kyungsoo passes the babe back to Jongin and twists to grab something from the satchel he'd brought. Bright, red fur sits folded in his hands, and Jongin bites his lip to try to smother his grin.  
“You can't put our pup in a fox pelt!” he tries. “He's a wolf!”  
“Shut up, Jongin,” Kyungsoo sniffs, unfurling the sewn fox pelt. “This was fucking difficult to catch.” He glances at Jongin, shifting his fingers through the pelt and fidgeting.  
“He won't be cold,” Jongin murmurs by way of accepting the gift. “He'll be the best dressed pup this pack has ever seen.” He beams at Kyungsoo, and the alpha wolf smiles too, pleased. “When did you catch-?”  
“When you told me you were pregnant,” Kyungsoo reveals. “I was so excited. I was so….I didn't know how, but I was determined for you to make it through the four moons. I caught this thinking maybe… maybe if I had it, maybe I would get to give it to my pup.” His smile is a little softer. He looks just as in love with the pup as Jongin is. “And here he is.”  
“Here he is,” Jongin agrees. Kyungsoo kisses the babe’s forehead and then Jongin’s. Happiness radiates warmth from where he sleeps in Jongin’s arms, wrapped in linens and fox fur.  
~*~  
“He looks nothing like you,” is the first thing out of Jongin’s mother’s mouth when she comes flying into the medicine hut, staring down at the sleeping baby in Jongin’s arms. Her smile is soft. “He’s beautiful.” Jongin couldn’t agree more.  
“Hey, Second,” his father greets, coming up behind Byulhee and squeezing her shoulders.  
“Hi, Pops,” Jongin returns.  
“How are you feeling?” Sungkeun asks, and Jongin would shrug if he wasn’t terrified of waking his pup.  
“I’m great,” he answers. It’s not a lie. His body is battered and exhausted, but happiness is warm. The fox fur wrapped around his child is soft. His gaze strays back to his son. His mother coos.  
“Look at them,” she whispers to her mate, leaning back against his chest. “Our son and grandson.” She pats Sungkeun’s hand on her shoulders. “Have you named him?”  
“No,” Jongin admits. He glances down. “I can’t seem to find anything that fits.” Byulhee hums. Her foot taps on the thatched flooring of the medicine hut.  
“I wonder…” she murmurs, and she switches mid-thought to say instead, “You’re grandmother will be here in just a moment. I just, as your parents, we wanted to visit you first.” She smiles, both at Jongin and the pup, and Jongin could probably burst into tears of happiness again if he weren’t so tired.  
Jongin’s father lowers himself to the edge of the pallet, sitting down gently. His hand trails down his mate’s arm, holding Byulhee’s hand tightly. “He really looks like Leader,” Sungkeun says. “But he has a mark in the same place you do.” He thumbs gently at the corner of Jongin’s baby’s mouth, pulling his hand away before the pup can suck on his thumb. “He’s healthy?”  
Jongin nods. “That’s all I wanted, really.”  
“Just think about how good of a hunter this one is going to be,” Sungkeun muses. He glances over his shoulder at Jongin’s mother. “We’ll be well taken care of in our old age by our grandchild.”  
Byulhee rolls her eyes. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, old man.” Sungkeun guffaws, and the baby in Jongin’s arms startles at the sudden noise, breaking out into shrill wailing.  
“Pops!” Jongin whines, wincing at the loud voice right next to his ear. His mother bursts out laughing too, leaning down and taking the pup from Jongin despite his protest.  
“It’s all in the bounce,” she informs him, beginning to rock the child, bouncing on the balls of her feet gently. It takes a good minute of her enduring Jongin’s skeptical expression before the babe quiets. Byulhee winks at Jongin. “I take it back. With a voice like that, he’s definitely your pup.”  
“There’s a noise I haven’t heard in about twenty suns,” Jongin’s grandmother adds, walking into the room. She tugs her fur cloak a little tighter around her, hobbling up to her daughter and peering over her shoulder at Jongin’s child. “There he is. Hello, beautiful puppy.” Jongin’s grandmother strokes her fingertips over the babe’s head and then offers them to him to grab. His chubby fist only barely makes it around her thin fingers. Jongin’s grandmother smiles softly. “Have you named him?”  
“He hasn’t,” Byulhee answers for Jongin. Her eyebrows draw down. “Even Leader didn’t have any suggestions? His late brother’s name or-?”  
“Nothing,” Jongin confirms. “Kyu- Leader mentioned that you might like to name him.”  
“What did I mention?” Kyungsoo enters, the long sleeves of his shirt tied around his waist. There are blood stains on his shirt from a recent kill. Jongin can tell by the smell. He still scowls at Kyungsoo for ruining another shirt.  
“That you thought about asking my ma for a name,” Jongin answers. He angles his face up to accept the kiss Kyungsoo leans down to press to his temple. Kyungsoo opens his eyes wide and looks at Byulhee.  
“I did say that,” he confirms. “I don’t- there’s nothing I want to name him, and Second is equally as useless in this matter.” Jongin pinches Kyungsoo’s thigh in retaliation for that remark.  
“Mom had another name for me,” Byulhee reveals slowly. Jongin’s grandmother curls her hand not occupied by the pup’s fingers around Byulhee’s upper arm. “If I were born male, she planned to name me Sanghun.” She looks almost hopeful. “Maybe you could…”  
“Sanghun,” Kyungsoo murmurs softly. He glances at Jongin.  
“Sure, just name the kid indirectly after my mother,” Jongin says with an annoyed huff, but he’s smiling. He likes it. Sanghun.  
“Is that okay?” Byulhee asks.  
“You can say no,” Sungkeun adds quickly.  
“Not going to say no.” Jongin glances at Kyungsoo before he continues, “I think it’s perfect.” Kyungsoo reaches out to Byulhee, and she passes the baby to him. Jongin leans over, strokes his son’s cheek.  
“Sanghun,” Kyungsoo whispers. “Hey, puppy.”  
A cough breaks the moment, cracking through the tenderness. Jongin looks up in time to see his grandmother roll her eyes.  
“Head priestess,” Jongin’s grandmother greets. “We weren’t planning to stay long.”  
“If Leader asks you to stay, there’s not much I can do about it,” the head priestess says with a wave of her hand. She walks up to Jongin’s grandmother. “Your eyes look a little silver, Gayoung.”  
Jongin’s grandmother shrugs and tugs on the head priestess’s shawl. Between friends, the gesture would be playful. Instead, animosity bleeds through the action. “Don’t talk about this here, hm?” She looks at Jongin and Kyungsoo and lastly at the pup in Kyungsoo’s arms. “Let them be happy.”  
“Come speak outside with me, then,” the head priestess offers, but it sounds more like an order. Jongin opens his mouth to refute the head priestess, but his mother snaps a finger to her lips. Jongin closes his mouth, watching his grandmother agree and leave the medicine hut.  
“What was that?” he hisses.  
“Your grandmother was going to become head priestess before head priestess took the position,” Byulhee whispers. She glances back with guilt written across her face. “Head priestess has always been jealous of mom’s connection with the moon goddess, but she… hates her for giving up such a prestigious position because she fell in love.”  
Jongin almost snorts. Almost says, ‘yeah, I wish I’d even had the chance to give up a prestigious position,’ but then he swallows the words as the realization slowly takes over him. He doesn’t wish that. Not anymore. He exhales, and beside him, tension bleeds from Kyungsoo’s shoulders. Jongin offers him the slightest quirk of his lips.  
“I probably shouldn’t say this, but,” Byulhee continues, lowering her voice even further, “head priestess has always said that my brother and I shouldn’t exist.” She trembles, and Sungkeun tightens his grip on her hand. “By extension, you shouldn’t exist either. The head priestess isn’t allowed to mate, and mom left that life in order to mate. It’s…”  
“Fucked up,” Sungkeun finishes. Byulhee glares at her mate. He shrugs. “What? It is.”  
“So that’s why she’s always been so awful to Jongin,” Kyungsoo murmurs. He kisses his son’s forehead. “She probably thinks Sanghun shouldn’t exist either.” Byulhee pauses, but then she nods her head in agreement.  
“Yes.”  
“I don’t care,” Kyungsoo proclaims. “She can think what she wants. It doesn’t change how good of a Second you are.” He’s speaking to Jongin directly now. “Doesn’t change the fact that we have this pup now.” If Jongin’s parents weren’t standing right there, he would kiss Kyungsoo.  
Fuck it, he decides, and leans over to kiss his mate smack on the mouth. Byulhee’s coos, and Jongin ignores his mother, letting Kyungsoo kiss him back while Sungkeun shoes the woman from this wing of the medicine hut.  
Still, the head priestesses appearance, her cryptic words to Jongin’s grandmother, have him holding on to this moment for as long as he can. He’s wary of her; he’s wary of anyone who doubts his and Kyungsoo’s happiness.  
They fought hard for this. For Kyungsoo, if no one else, Jongin wants this to last forever.  
~*~  
“He’s doing well,” Yerim comments, holding Sanghun close to her. She cradles his head and blows raspberries at him, grinning widely when the baby giggles. “He looks so much like Leader. It’s kind of stunning.”  
Jongin straightens up from wrapping his feet against the cold. The satchel Kyungsoo had brought the fox fur in sits full of medicines and teas for Jongin to take back to his cabin. The fox fur sits beside it, just waiting for Jongin to wrap his pup up in his first gift from his father.  
“Everyone says that,” Jongin says as if more people than the priests and his family had seen Sanghun.  
“Everyone has eyes,” Yerim replies. She nuzzles the babe’s head, breathing in his scent. “Obvious things are pretty hard to miss.” She eyes Jongin knowingly, Jongin frowns. “About Leader,” she hints.  
He loves me, Jongin thinks. He’s not about to say that outloud. That’s Kyungsoo’s truth to tell, not his. “We’ve kissed in front of the whole pack,” he says, mildly annoyed. “I think any secrets are out.”  
“Are they?” Yerim prompts. Jongin briefly considers telling her to not indirectly ask how often they have sex, but her eyes appear vaguely silver.  
“You’ve become cryptic,” he says. “You’re going to make a great head priestess.”  
“I said I would be,” Yerim answers, glowing at the sudden praise. “I kept my first promise already. I said I’d be here for you when you whelp you first child.” She kisses Sanghun’s forehead. “And here he is.”  
Jongin pulls two shirts over his head and pokes his stomach sadly. “Yeah. Took him long enough.”  
“If you’re trying to point out how fat you are right now, I’m not rising to the bait,” Yerim sniffs.  
“Brat,” Jongin returns. Yerim just smiles innocently.  
“Take your pup,” she orders. “And get out of here. There are other wolves about to whelp who need this space.”  
“Bossy.” Jongin drops the satchel over his shoulders and picks up the fox fur. “Set him here, would you?”  
Yerim scoffs. “And I’m the bossy one.” She sets Sanghun on the bed, cooing at him to keep him calm while Jongin wraps him up in the fox fur before gathering him up in his arms. “Wait, wait, wait,” Yerim says, and she hobbles over to her small bag of supplies, pulling out fabric dyed a deep blue. “I made this.” She holds it out to Jongin, and he takes it from her carefully, adjusting his pup against him. It’s a hat, just big enough to fit over Sanghun’s head and ears. The front is stitched with with an empty circle for the new moon, the symbol that had been Jongin’s during the tournament, the insignia of the beginning. “Do you like it?”  
Jongin smiles and holds out his arm, gesturing for Yerim to stand closer to him. He drags her into a one-armed hug and kisses her hair. “Thank you, kiddo,” he murmurs. Yerim beams.  
“Okay,” she says, clapping her hands together. “You can leave now.”  
Jongin snorts. “I’m leaving, priestess.” He mock bows to Yerim, and she returns with a real dip of her head. Jongin is proud of her, is proud of everything she will become. She’s as much a part of his family as his parents, his child, his Leader and mate.  
Jongin hovers only a minute at the entrance to the medicine hut, sighing at the weather for regressing to the winter cold before he steps out in it, doing his best to block the wind from Sanghun’s face. The pack members still out in the chill look up, waving and shouting congratulations at him. Jongin doesn’t bother to contain the smile of his face, mouthing his thanks to all of them.  
His cheeks are beginning to ache from the force of his smile and the bitter cold when he gets to the cabin, but he can’t help but smiling even wider when he sees Kyungsoo standing there waiting for him.  
“I thought you’d never come home,” Kyungsoo jokes. Jongin wrinkles his nose.  
“I’m not trying to raise my pup in the medicine hut.” He gently, so as not to jostle Sanghun, shoulders past Kyungsoo. The fire pit inside is lit, and the warmth of home seeps into Jongin’s skin. “I missed being here. Sleeping there is not relaxing with all the priests running around at all times of day and night.” The cabin door scrapes across the ground as Kyungsoo closes it.  
“I’ll take him,” Kyungsoo offers, holding out his arms for his son. Sanghun squirms and gives Kyungsoo a toothless smile. Kyungsoo looks so fond, so utterly in love, and the realization that this is same way he looks at Jongin burns in Jongin’s veins.  
The fierce, protective edge to Kyungsoo’s stance is something reserved for Sanghun, though, and it reminds Jongin that he’s free to shift to wolf form now. He’s free to be Second, to charge into battle at Kyungsoo’s side. He’s free to protect his child with his teeth and claws.  
“The other pack,” Jongin begins, dropping the satchel on the ground next to the water basin. He taps his fingers on the basin’s edge, reminding himself to not forget to make tea soon so that he has milk for his son. Right now, he wants to talk to Kyungsoo and then take a nap in his own furs in his own home. He looks at Kyungsoo’s patient expression. “They’re still out there. Now that Sanghun has been born, we can-”  
Kyungsoo frowns. Jongin stops talking. “You just gave birth,” the alpha wolf says. “It can wait.”  
It’s Jongin’s turn to frown. “Kyungsoo-”  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “We will take care of the other pack. We’re going to help them. But first, let’s just have this moment, here, right now. The three of us. Okay?”  
Jongin bites his lip. “Okay,” he agrees, but his easy acquiescence isn’t going to last long. The itch to do something is creeping under his skin. “Join me for a nap?” Kyungsoo nods and moves towards their room. Jongin collapses on the furs, and Kyungsoo lays Sanghun between them, tangling his fingers with Jongin’s.  
Jongin watches Kyungsoo drift off, watches his mate and son sleep for a long moment. He’s antsy and ready to move, ready to protect his pack, ready to protect his family. He’s ready to be Second in action as well as title, and the biggest reasons for that are sleeping peacefully in front of him.  
~*~  
Chanyeol’s fist is heavy, and the force of his huts rattles through Jongin’s body when he gets his arm up in time to block him.  
“Were you always this bad?” Chanyeol taunts, jumping over the sweep of Jongin’s leg. “Slow.”  
“You try having a pup,” Jongin growls back at him. He tries to keep himself calm, remind himself that this is just a friendly spar, but the months of carrying his son have taken some of his strength from him. Jongin is frustrated.  
Chanyeol appears vaguely dazed by the idea for a moment, and Jongin thrusts the heel of his hand into the center of Chanyeol’s rib cage. Chanyeol wheezes, stumbling back.  
“The fox does bite,” he hisses, readying his stance. Jongin grins. The inside of his cheek is bloody from an earlier hit to the side of his face. He locks at his teeth.  
“Be quick, be clever, pup,” he chants, and Chanyeol lunges forward, starting their spar again. Jongin is tired, but his stamina is already so much better than it was the first day Jongin asked Chanyeol to do this. He's pushing himself hard, getting ready to be ready for whatever may come the pack’s way.  
Chanyeol feigns a left attack, pivoting on his heel last minute to bring his fist in the from below. Jongin jerks his knee up. He knocks Chanyeol’s hand away and grabs the arm he had feigned with. Jongin drags Chanyeol forward, and his fellow omega trips. Jongin digs his elbow mercilessly into Chanyeol’s shoulder.  
Chanyeol hisses. “Fuck, okay.” Jongin releases Chanyeol, and the man stands, shaking out his shoulder.  
“Not quick enough,” Jongin singsongs like he hasn't spent most of the past couple weeks of sparring getting his ass beat into the dirt. It reminds him of when Minseok first started training him, first introduced him to the pain of taking a fist to the chest, the shoulder, the face.  
“You get cocky fast,” Chanyeol mumbles. He slides into his stance again. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Jongin has barely anytime to get himself into his block before Chanyeol is raining down attack after attack on him. Jongin twists and ducks, avoiding and parrying, countering when he can.  
Chanyeol is a good fighter. Chanyeol doesn't hold back, forcing Jongin’s muscles to remember how the dance of warriors works. Jongin’s back aches, but he ignores it in favor of the pleasure of sinking his fist into Chanyeol’s stomach. He relishes the pain of Chanyeol dragging him to the ground, and the spar becomes a little harsher, Jongin’s teeth in Chanyeol’s bicep.  
“Hey,” Chanyeol calls when Jongin scrambles out of his hold and kicks him away, pushing himself to his feet. Jongin whirls back to face him, breathing hard.  
He doesn't get his guard up in time. Chanyeol’s fist cracks against the side of Jongin’s face, and pain splinters through his bones.  
Jongin hits the ground on his knees, and Chanyeol scrambles to apologize. His arm is bleeding profusely, and the two of them look an absolute wreck. A laugh bubbles from Jongin’s chest.  
“Nice spar,” he relents. “You win.” Chanyeol snarls into his victory smile.  
“Leader is gonna kill me,” he says. Jongin shrugs. Kyungsoo had better not; Jongin can avenge his beauty himself. “I was owed a win at some point,” Chanyeol says. Jongin rolls his eyes.  
“My kid is gonna think I'm a monster,” he moans, pointing at his eye. Chanyeol laughs, huge and hearty, and the sound is joined by a laugh both obnoxious and familiar.  
“Then little Sanghun will learn the truth early,” Jongdae jokes, trotting up to them. He holds out a hand to help Jongin up and sticks out his tongue at Chanyeol’s pout to help him up too. “Ready to get your ass kicked in a race?”  
“No,” Jongin grumbles, but he is ready to run. He strips off his shirt and tosses it in Jongdae’s face. If he wants to be as fast as he was, Jongin can think of no better running partner than Jongdae.  
Jongdae cackles, dropping Jongin’s shirt on the ground alongside his own. “Too bad. Shift. Let's go.”  
The shift to wolf form is still easy. Jongin trots out of the glade after Jongdae, falls into step behind him. They run and run, Jongdae picking up the pace the further he goes. Already tired from fighting, Jongin has to push himself to not lag behind.  
He kind of wants to collapse and cry in gratitude when Jongdae pauses at the northern edges of pack lands. Jongdae’s tongue lolls out of his mouth, giving Jongin a wolf-fanged grin.  
Jongin sighs and flops to the ground. Jongdae barks at him, his tail wagging. Jongdae in human form would be on the ground laughing at Jongin. Jongin growls at him, the sound more wheeze than menacing. Jongdae licks Jongin’s ears, nudging his neck with his nose.  
It's comfort and encouragement. It's enough to get Jongin to stumble to his paws, digging his claws into the ground and arching his back in a stretch. Jongdae jostles his shoulder, and Jongin nips at his friend's nose, sprinting off towards the glade.  
Jongdae’s indignant yelp rings behind Jongin, but the mere momentary head start isn't enough to keep Jongin ahead of Jongdae in their race back to the glade.  
Jongdae runs alongside Jongin for a few long strides into the forest, and then he's practically soaring across the forest floor, legs moving at almost blinding speed. Jongin barks and chases after him even when the tip of Jongdae’s tail has disappeared into the shadows of the forest.  
The slight crest of hills that surround the glade comes into sight, and Jongin presses on, diving into the camp. Jongdae is waiting for him, tongue lolling out of his mouth to celebrate his spectacular defeat of the pack’s Second. Jongin doesn’t bother to stop running, choosing instead to barrel into Jongdae.  
The crash of their bodies rattles Jongin’s bones and raises the fur along his spine. Jongdae yelps, and Jongin snarls. He keeps his ears pricked, relaxed and happy. Jongdae snaps his teeth at Jongin’s shoulder, and Jongin snorts, stepping on Jongdae’s belly with his front paws. His friend squirms, whining, and Jongin prances away from the next swipe of Jongdae’s heavy paws. He skips too far, crashing into a wolf he recognizes as Hoseok as they tumble to the ground. A bright bark sounds behind Jongin, and he turns just in time to see Taehyung leap into the air, tackling both Jongin and his mate at the same time.  
Jongdae barks and jumps into to join the three way tussle. Jongin isn’t exactly sure how it happens, but the play fight soon expands from him and First’s mate and Jongin’s cousin and his mate to a glade-wide scuffle, all the young wolves joining in. There are no one on one spars; it’s every wolf for himself. Jongdae throws back his head and howls, and the wolves around him join in. Jongin stands in the middle of the song, turning himself around in a small circle and taking in the sight of his happy, healthy pack.  
The second the howling cuts out, the play fight resumes, and Jongin scrambles to get away, breathing hard as he dives out of the circle. He manages a mere three bounds until he’s forced to stop lest he tackle his own mate in human form.  
“Having fun?” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin shifts, standing up on human legs to face him.  
“Yes,” Jongin whispers, chest heaving. Kyungsoo holds out a pair of pants for Jongin, and he yanks them on.  
“I love seeing this,” Kyungsoo murmurs, eyes trained on the pack. Jongin isn’t entirely certain Kyungsoo meant for him to hear that, but he reaches over and grasps Kyungsoo’s wrist anyway.  
“Me too,” he agrees. Kyungsoo looks at him, and a thrill, something in addition to the adrenaline from the sparring, the racing, and the play fight thrums in Jongin’s veins. He tightens his grip on Kyungsoo’s wrist and wonders if Kyungsoo can feel this too.  
“Who fucked up your eye?” Kyungsoo asks, and the feeling freezes. Jongin snarls.  
“I’ll take care of him tomorrow,” he promises himself out loud, warning Kyungsoo to keep his leaderly paws out of this. He turns back to the play fight, watching the pack enjoy time together like puppies. Chanyeol gave him one black eye; Jongin will give him two.  
~*~  
“This kid is going to be fighting before he can walk if you keep on like this,” Kyungsoo greets him, snorting at the babe’s wide eyes watching Jongin rinse the sweat and dirt from his skin. Kyungsoo waits until Jongin has blinked the sweat from his eyes before handing the tiny pup to him. Jongin’s chest is still swollen with milk, and Sanghun whines against Jongin’s shoulder until Jongin adjusts him against his chest.  
“I can’t just sit around all day,” Jongin tells him. “I’ll go crazy.” He smirks. “Besides. Chanyeol had a few hits reserved just for him.” His knuckles still sting from connecting with Chanyeol’s face as hard as they did.  
“You’re making me dizzy, watching you,” Kyungsoo snorts. He runs his fingers through Sanghun’s fuzzy head of black hair. The corner of his lips quirk up when he thumbs over the bald spot at the back of the baby’s head.  
“The one who carried your child is still your Second,” Jongin reminds him. “I wouldn’t want the luxury of lounging around even if I had it.”  
Kyungsoo’s smile is proud, and the kiss he presses to Jongin’s forehead is even more so. “And that’s why you’re Second.” Jongin’s smile is closed lipped, his eyes serious behind the curve from his grin. He knows without Kyungsoo voicing his choice that they’ll leave for their neighbor’s pack in the morning. Jongin goes to sleep that night with his son sleeping belly down on his stomach.  
Kyungsoo and Jongin leave Sanghun with Jongin’s mother before the sun has risen a mere three days before the pup will see his first full moon. Seungwan and Jongdae are the only ones awake to wave them off, their fingers interlaced.  
“Be safe,” Jongdae says to Jongin. “I don’t want to end up with a third pup.” He says it lightly, jokingly, but the truth of real danger hides behind his words. Seungwan nudges him in warning, but Jongdae ignores his mate. He’s not wrong; were anything to happen to Jongin and Kyungsoo, Jongdae is the one to whom Jongin would entrust his child.  
“They’ll be fine,” she says. “As long as they’re careful.” Kyungsoo gives a serious nod in response, and Seungwan’s gaze shifts to Jongin and narrows.  
“I feel like you’re eyeing me right now, and I don’t know why,” Jongin speaks, teasing. Seungwan rolls her eyes. “I’m Second,” he reminds her.  
“Impossible,” Kyungsoo corrects him. He strips out of his shirt and hands it to Seungwan. “If we’re not back by sundown, I give you permission to take a party after us.” He looks at Jongdae. “If that happens, you’re not to come,” he orders to the omega. “As First’s mate, you’d be the replacement Second if all three of us were to-”  
“Stop,” Jongdae interrupts. “That’s not going to happen. You both will come back completely unscathed before the sun drops.” He leans over and kisses Seungwan’s mouth, squeezing her hand. “I’m going to go home before the boys wake.”  
“Okay,” she breathes. She sighs at Kyungsoo. “You have no tact sometimes,” she informs. “Don’t worry. The pack will be okay with just me for a day. Go.”  
Kyungsoo bows slightly to her, and Jongin pulls off his shirt. He doesn’t miss the way Kyungsoo’s eyes linger on his stomach and the scars from previous fights with their neighbors. Jongin unties his pants without preamble and reaches over to yank the ties on Kyungsoo’s pants open too.  
“Come on,” he says. “It’s not warm enough to stand out here in our skin.” He steps out of his pants and throws himself into his shift, taking off running towards the western border without looking back. He can feel Seungwan’s attention following him, her fervent wishes for his and Kyungsoo’s safety seeming to embed in his fur and wrap around him. Kyungsoo’s shoulder brushes Jongin’s, and Jongin lets his tongue loll out the side of his mouth, his ears pointed upwards, showing Kyungsoo just how pleased he is to be running alongside him.  
Kyungsoo shows his teeth, and that’s enough warning for Jongin to brace himself before Kyungsoo tackles him to the ground. They roll paws over tails through the woods, playing until the western border is too close for frolicking. Kyungsoo speeds ahead of Jongin, and Jongin falls into step behind him, matching Kyungsoo paw step for paw step.  
They slow to a trot and skirt around the clearing where too much blood had been lost, holding their heads and tails high the last few lengths of their territory until they’re standing on the border to the other pack’s lands. Kyungsoo glances back over his shoulder at Jongin, and Jongin lowers his ears against his head and crouches to signal he’s ready. Kyungsoo takes the first step into the other pack’s territory, paws as silent as falling snow. Jongin walks with him, alert for any sign of another wolf.  
The wind is slow, the cool air blowing against their faces, sending their scent back towards their home. Jongin sniffs the air, catching nothing but the vague scent of milk. Kyungsoo’s tail brushes Jongin’s shoulder, alerting him to a change in direction towards the stale smell of milk. The scent of the pack is largely faded, the woods around them not thickly drenched like Jongin had expected. Their neighbor’s must really be down to their last betas and alphas if their scent is so faint in areas they should be regularly patrolling.  
Jongin’s claws slide through the mud as he and Kyungsoo trudge steadily forward. Jongin’s ears are flat against his head. They haven’t seen any of the other’s pack’s wolves, and this does nothing to steady Jongin’s fight or flight instinct. He glances around behind him, making sure they’re not being followed. Kyungsoo’s tails brushes his shoulder again, this time offering comfort.  
They round a crag in the mountains of this pack’s territory, and a new scent crashes into Jongin’s nose. He recognizes this scent only by description, the stench of stale blood and drool. His grandmother’s tales called it wild fever, but the priests call it rabies.  
Jongin’s whines low in his throat, much too quiet for anyone but Kyungsoo to hear. Kyungsoo stiffen, glancing back at Jongin. Jongin sniffs the air exaggeratedly, and Kyungsoo breathes in, scrunching his nose at the rancid smell. Jongin shakes his head, showing his fear. He almost wishes he were in human form to explain to Kyungsoo, but he doesn’t dare shift into a more vulnerable body.  
Kyungsoo ducks back, letting Jongin take the lead. Jongin swallows hard and walks forward, steps slow and shaking. Kyungsoo waits only a few paces before he decides to walk side-by-side with Jongin instead. Jongin leans against him, appreciating his comfort. The trees ahead of them are thick, the bushes around them tangled with branches from other plants, creating a full barrier around the pack’s camp. Jongin drops to his belly, crawling forward until he just peer into the camp through the tightly woven branches.  
He clamps his jaw shut to quiet a horrified gasp. Kyungsoo’s warmth beside him is welcome and necessary. The alpha wolf looks at Jongin, and his own sadness swims in the yellow of his eyes. No pack deserves to end like this; no moon goddess should allow her children to suffer this way.  
Bodies of once strong wolves lay around the camp, untouched where they finally collapsed to die. Only a small corner of the camp remains active, about thirty wolves, a mix consisting largely of omegas and pups huddled together around a fire. Most of them have furs draped over their bodies, and the ribs of those who aren’t hunkered down under furs are clearly visible regardless of wolf or human form.  
The smell of the disease is synonymous with the scent of death.  
None of the wolves around the fire show signs of wild fever, only exhaustion and starvation. Of course they’re scared to eat anything with their food source potentially infected.  
Jongin draws away from the wall of branches, looking at Kyungsoo. They’ve seen everything they need to see, and Jongin wants to leave. He wants to return home and hug his son.  
The walk back toward the western border is quiet and solemn, and Jongin keeps swallowing back sad whimpers. Kyungsoo shifts well before they see the edges of their territory, ignoring how vulnerable he is out here. Jongin follows his example, and Kyungsoo wraps him in his arms. They stand in stunned silence, heartbeats racing.  
“They’re really dying,” Kyungsoo whispers. “I almost didn’t believe they could be after the attacks they pulled on us, but they really… there’s almost nothing left.”  
“Wild fever,” Jongin says. “Rabies. No matter how much I hate the alpha and betas who attacked us, I don’t wish that on them.”  
“So that’s what that was,” Kyungsoo murmurs. His shoulders are slumped. “Are they doomed?”  
It’d be easiest to say ‘yes’ to Kyungsoo’s question. It’d be easiest to walk back to the glade and pretend they never left for the other pack’s territory. Jongin’s heart hurts.  
“The ones still alive aren’t infected, I think,” he says. “They’re just starving and afraid to eat in case whatever they catch has the disease too.” He clenches his fists. “We can still… we can save them.”  
Kyungsoo’s expression is firm. “Do you want to?”  
If Jongin says no, he knows Kyungsoo won’t even acknowledge the existence of the other pack again. But saying no would be easy, and Jongin’s life hasn’t been easy since he won the position of Second.  
“Yes,” he answers, and he hopes he sounds more resolute than he feels. “Those omegas, they-” Jongin pauses and takes a breath to steady himself. “They deserve to raise their pups in a pack. They’re wolves just like any of us. They weren’t treated well in that pack, and they didn’t-”  
“Okay,” Kyungsoo cuts in. “I know. You don’t have to convince me. If that’s what you want to do, we’ll do it.” He brushes Jongin’s hair out of his eyes. “You’re going to have to braid your hair back soon if you don’t cut it.”  
“You sound like my grandmother,” Jongin grumbles.  
“If that’s a compliment-”  
“Just an observation,” Jongin defends. He feels lighter with the change in subject; he feels like rescuing the wolves from the other pack is absolutely the right choice if they can have a future like the one his pack has.  
“Shall we go home?” Kyungsoo offers. “Talk to First about this and warn the priests of our decision?” He gestures around them. “Instead of standing naked in enemy territory.”  
“You shifted first,” Jongin reminds. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and signals an order to shift back to wolf form. Jongin does, but he ignores the rules and walks beside Kyungsoo instead of in his paw prints behind him. A low groan of pain startles them, and Jongin bares his teeth in the direction of the noise, crouching low and crawling forward.  
His heart splinters into shards again at the sight of an old wolf staring up in broken longing at a patch of wolfsbane growing in the cracks of the rock ledge above where he stands. To keep his own pack safe from himself, this wolf would rather die by poison than risk spreading infection in asking them to kill him. Jongin shivers, and Kyungsoo next to him reflects the same horror Jongin feels twisting his guts.  
These wolves truly were a pack once before their territory could no longer support them. Jongin watches the old wolf struggle to reach the purple flower and watches him swallow it with shaking hands. Kyungsoo turns to stare at Jongin, and Jongin gives him a decisive nod, any doubt he’d had about his decision to offer the survivors of this pack sanctuary banished with this wolf’s sacrifice.  
He takes off running for the glade, Kyungsoo following close behind him. They have a son to kiss goodnight and a pack to prepare for the arrival of new members.  
~*~  
It’s stifling to sit in one of the smaller rooms in the medicine hut, waiting for the head priestess to arrive. Kyungsoo sits perfectly still, watching Jongin’s fingers tapping away on his knee. If he’s bothered, he does a good job of hiding, but Jongin thinks he’s probably doing it for Jongin’s sake. Contrary to the alpha wolf, Jongin is made of naught but raw agitation right now. He spent too many days cooped up in the medicine hut after the birth of their son, praying every day that the head priestess would continue to live her delusion that Jongin and his pup are not supposed to exist and therefore, leave them alone. Now, he’s back in the medicine hut seeking the old beta woman out.  
Across from Jongin, Seungwan has chewed the nails of two fingers on her left hand down the quick, and she’s about to start on the third when Kyungsoo snatches her hand away from her mouth and hisses, “Quit it.” Seungwan glares at him but obediently curls her hands into fists in the thick fabric of her skirt, taking to tapping her foot instead.  
“What’s taking her so long?” Seungwan mutters, staring towards the tapestry hung over the entrance to this room. The embroidery of the phases of the moon is beautiful, but it just reminds Jongin that the full moon is only two days away. If they want to get the other pack assimilated into theirs as quickly, there is nothing more effective than a pack run on the full moon.  
“It is whelping season,” Jongin answers diplomatically, but his voice is a little too tight. Seungwan rolls her eyes at him.  
“You’re not exactly the embodiment of patience,” she says. Jongin bares his teeth at her. “You’ve a pup to get back to, and I’ve got two. Neither of us have a lot of time to spare right now.”  
“It’s more like you’ve got three,” Jongin tells her. “Jongdae counts.” He tries to grin into his light joke, but it falters. Seungwan frowns, unimpressed. “Anyway, it’s not that I want to keep waiting for her,” Jongin asserts, “but more that I don’t want to have to see her at all.”  
“Head priestess is in charge of the health of the whole pack,” Kyungsoo reminds them both. “And I doubt she particularly wants to see any of us. Just wait quietly, please.” He squeezes Jongin’s hand. Jongin bites his bottom lip. Even as nicely as it was worded, that was an order. Seungwan dips her head.  
The wait for the head priestess to come see them after finishing helping the priests with the whelping wolves turns into a game of Jongin and Seungwan trying to annoy each other without Kyungsoo noticing. He keeps closing his eyes in annoyance and showing his teeth, so Jongin figures that means he and Seungwan are the losers, but at least they’re entertained.  
The tapestry is pulled back, and the three of them bolt into upright positions.  
“I apologize for keeping you here, Leader,” the head priestess greets. “First.” Jongin forces himself not to snarl at her blatant lack of address for him. He knows the reason now, and it’s more pathetic than frustrating. “May I?” The head priestess points at the floor, and Kyungsoo immediately moves a little closer to Jongin, putting as much space between himself and the head priestess as he can. Like this, his body is a shield for Jongin. Jongin holds the hem of the back of Kyungsoo’s shirt.  
“I’ve brought my protégé,” the head priestess reveals, settling herself on the floor. “She will take my position as soon as she is ready and able.”  
“Yerim, of course,” Seungwan says with a smile. “She can sit in.” The tapestry draws back again, and Yerim peers inside.  
“Hello, Leader, First, Second,” she greets, bowing her head to each.  
“Sit,” Kyungsoo orders not unkindly. “We have much to discuss.” Yerim does as commanded, and despite Jongin trying to smile encouragingly at her, she still sits rigid and nervous. He wants to hug her, to call her kiddo and calm her nerves, but now is not the time or place.  
“So tell me what you found on your expedition to the other pack,” the head priestess begins officially. Kyungsoo takes a breath.  
“A lot of death,” he answers. “Their woods are overhunted, and many members of the pack are dead from wild fever.”  
“Only the omegas are left, really,” Jongin adds. “But their pack put all its emphasis in the alphas and betas. The omegas are innocent.”  
The head priestess adjusts her shawl over her shoulders. “Innocent?”  
“They don’t have rights in their pack,” Seungwan confirms. “It’s safe to say they didn’t get the chance to say no to the attacks or voice an opposing opinion.” Head priestess hums in response to that. She glances at Yerim.  
“What do you think, Yerim?” she asks. “You’re an omega.”  
“Second is an omega too,” Yerim answers immediately. She looks at Jongin and then at her mentor. She flushes.  
“What do you think?” Jongin prompts.  
“I think…” Yerim clears her throat. “I think I want to know more about the pack.” Head priestess nods her head in approval, and Kyungsoo takes his cue to keep talking. He explains the state of the pack, the mere thirty wolves remaining. He talk about the dead wolves in their camp and the elderly wolf who chose to consume wolfsbane instead of letting his rabies spread to his pack members.  
“They’re a real pack,” Kyungsoo says. “They care for each other despite the lack of respect for omegas.”  
“Those omegas and those pups…” Yerim sighs. Her eyes are shining with tears tinged silver. “They’ve never lived in a loving pack like ours. They’ve never been free like we are.” She rubs her hands over her upper arms, adjusting her own shawl, a pale blue, up around her shoulders. She’s looking at Jongin when she says with the utmost decisive edge in her voice, “You’re planning to save them, right?”  
“Yes,” Jongin says. He meets the head priestess’ eyes. “I want to add to our pack. I don’t care what they’ve been through. We can do something about what happens next, and so we should.”  
Head priestess nods. “Healing instead of harming,” she says after a long moment. “This is something the moon goddess can reward.” She looks at each of them in turn. “We are all her children, after all.” Jongin glances at Kyungsoo. The alpha wolf squeezes his hand, reminding him to ignore the head priestess as much as he can.  
“We’re planning to leave today,” Seungwan says. “The full moon is in two nights, and a pack run will solidify their place in our pack and their territory as ours.”  
“That’s rather quick,” head priestess says.  
“If we wait another moon cycle, there won’t be a pack to save,” Seungwan presses.  
“Take a party and go then,” head priestess allows. “I won’t stop you.”  
“We need permission to take some of your priests and supplies with us,” Kyungsoo reveals. “If this were a simple hunting mission to outside lands, we wouldn’t ask. But these are potentially sick and wounded wolves. Only the priests can help them.” He laughs dryly. “I don’t know a thing about medicine, and I know these two don’t either.” He gestures at his First and Second, and Jongin tugs on his shirt.  
“How many?”  
“Hyejin, Yongsun, Wheein, Byulyi,” Jongin answers immediately. He knows them. He trusts them. The head priestess’ frown in response to that is deep.  
“Those are some of my most talented priestesses,” head priestess murmurs. “With so many wolves giving birth right now, I’m just unsure I can spare them.”  
“It’s only one day and a half,” Yerim whispers, leaning over the head priestesses shoulder. “If we can’t manage that long without them, we don’t deserve to be priests. Any of us.”  
“Yerim,” head priestess begins in a warning tone, but her protest quiets when she looks at Yerim’s face. Jongin doesn’t know what she sees there, but he thinks it might be the silver in Yerim’s eyes. “Go fetch those four as Second requested,” the head priestess says. “Hurry.” She turns her attention to the trifecta of leaders. “And who is going on this mission?”  
“Well, I’ve just gotten so good at staying safely in the glade…” Seungwan jokes bitterly.  
“Second and I are going to go,” Kyungsoo answers. “We went the first time and already know what to expect.”  
“I don’t want to disrespect them by sending an invitation to join the pack from Leader through another wolf,” Jongin adds.  
“And I refuse to appear to them as an alpha demanding their consent,” Kyungsoo says. “Second’s presence is crucial.”  
“And all the omegas I trained with before the tournament,” Jongin continues. “Warriors, just in case. But also omegas. I don’t want to accidentally overwhelm the other pack.”  
“That still might happen,” Seungwan whispers.  
“Unfortunately,” Kyungsoo agrees. He makes to stand, pulling Jongin up with him and offering Seungwan his hand. Only after she’s standing does he offer to help the head priestess to her feet. “If you wouldn’t mind helping your priestesses back anything they may need, that would be greatly appreciated.” He gives the head priestess a bow, and she returns one to him.  
“We leave at high noon,” Jongin tells her. The beta wolf sweeps from the room, the ends of her shawl trailing behind her.  
“She’s so… unlikeable,” Seungwan comments. Jongin rolls his eyes.  
“Tell me about it.”  
“We only have a few hours,” Kyungsoo says. “We still have a party to gather and prepare for what they’re about to see.”  
“A pup to kiss goodbye,” Seungwan adds. “Jongdae and I will be out there soon.” They split ways then, heading out of the medicine hut to find the omegas from the tournament.  
Jongin turns directly towards his parents’ cabin; Sanghun must be hungry by now.  
“Second!” Kyungsoo calls after him. Jongin pauses, turning back. Kyungsoo hurries up to him.  
“Tell Sanghun I love him,” he says. “We’re going to be fine, so…” So there’s no need to make a big fuss over them leaving. There’s no need to upset the kid when they’ll be back. Still, a whole day and a half away from Sanghun is longer than they’ve been away from him before.  
“I’ll tell him,” Jongin promises. “Just gonna make sure he knows I love him most.”  
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “I’ll meet you back here.” He squeezes Jongin’s waist, and Jongin side steps out of his hold, darting off in his original direction. He sees Jimin on his way, and gives him orders to go to the glade.  
“You too, Namjoon,” Jongin adds, and the other omega pokes his head out from behind a large oak. Jimin’s sheepish expression gives away all that they’d been doing out this deep in the woods. Namjoon salutes, his ears red.  
Jongin bursts into his parents’ home unceremoniously, and Sanghun’s shrill voice bursts out in tears at the sudden intrusion. Jongin’s mother sits up from the pile of furs she had been resting on with Jongin’s son.  
“Oh, good. You’re here,” she says by way of greeting. “He’s hungry.” Jongin tugs off his shirt and settles down beside his mother.  
“You’re hungry?” he asks Sanghun, tickling the pup’s stomach. The baby’s crying cracks into a peel of laughter, and Jongin takes the moment to lift Sanghun out of his mother’s arms and into his. He guides Sanghun’s to his chest with a gentle palm, and the baby does the rest, seeking out a nipple. He sighs as he drinks, and Jongin can’t believe he’s about to be gone from his son for over a day.  
“He’s not easy to keep quiet, this one,” Byulhee says. She winks. “Luckily, I have lots of experience with that.”  
“Ma!” Jongin protests.  
“What?” She leans over and kisses Jongin’s cheek. “You know I love you. And I love my grandson. But don’t think for even a second that I’m ever going to stop teasing you.” Jongin grumps, but the corners of his lips still twitch up.  
“You came running in here like a mouse from the eagle’s shadow,” Byulhee says after a moment. “Is everything okay?”  
Jongin clears his throat and adjusts Sanghun to his other side. “The other pack- you know that’s what we went to meet with head priestess about earlier?” Byulhee nods. “Well, we’re leaving today. We want to get back before the full moon.” Byulhee is still, watching Sanghun eat. Jongin breathes in. “So will you watch him for the next day? Day and a half?”  
“Of course I will,” Jongin’s mother says without hesitation. “There are other wolves who can feed him now, but…” She chews on her bottom lip.  
“We’re definitely coming back,” Jongin promises.  
“It’s not that,” Byulhee soothes. “It’s how much your grandmother keeps wandering outside recently. She keeps talking to the moon goddess, and it makes me nervous that something - I don’t know what - is coming.”  
Jongin blatantly rolls his eyes. “If it’s a storm, I don’t want to hear it.”  
“I know,” Byulhee murmurs. “I know.” She looks at Sanghun. “I’ll take care of my grandson, of course.”  
When Jongin leaves his parents’ house, kissing his mother and son goodbye, it’s with a vague feeling of dread clawing at his chest. His grandmother has been away a lot more recently, and Jongin hopes and prays that it isn’t because she’s ready to walk with stars. He’s not ready for her to leave.  
Jongin walks back into the glade to a party of omegas he knows well, a few pups taking this trip as their final transition from puphood to wolfhood, and Minseok and Changmin. Kyungsoo and Seungwan stand in front of them, Kyungsoo’s mouth moving in explanation of what they’re about to do.  
“If any omega here is pregnant, you are allowed to leave now, as we will be taking this journey in wolf form,” Kyungsoo says, and no one moves. The only scent of milk that Jongin notices in the group comes from himself.  
“We’re there to be a rescue,” Jongin speaks up from the back of the group. Heads turn to face him, and it’s still surreal that the majority of these wolves were once in line for the position that Jongin now holds. “If any of the wolves say they refuse to join, that’s their choice. And we need to respect it.” A murmur of agreement rings from the gathered wolves. They step to the side, Jongin walking up between them.  
“We’ve told them everything,” Kyungsoo whispers to him. “And just in case someone else comes in from the other side, Minseok and Changmin are coming too.”  
“You’re good here, First?” Jongin asks, speaking up for everyone. Seungwan snorts.  
“You’re taking my mate to foreign territory and leaving me to take care of the pack,” she begins dramatically and then smiles. “Just go. Come back home safe.”  
“Shift,” Kyungsoo commands the largely omega group, and everyone does, stripping out of cloaks and shirts and falling down on four paws, shaking out their fur. This far in the sun cycle, the sun is almost too warm, but the ground is still frozen. Kyungsoo turns, taking his position at the head of the party, and Jongin falls into step beside him.  
In a long line, omegas and pups troop out of the glade. Minseok and Changmin make up the rear, keeping the pups in the middle protected. Jongdae, behind Jongin, lets out the quietest whine that Jongin barely catches when they pass the clearing. In his mind’s eye, Jongin can still the puddle of blood that had surrounded First. He’s sure whatever Jongdae sees is much worse.  
Kyungsoo steps slow at they make their way out of the territory, giving the younger wolves time to place their paws in the prints those ahead of them leave behind. They pass close to the ridge where Jongin and Kyungsoo had watched the old wolf swallow the wolfsbane, and Jongin nips at Kyungsoo’s tail. Kyungsoo doesn’t react, but he does subtly shift his direction so that they won’t pass directly over the dead elder’s body.  
The silence as they approach the tangled barrier of branches that surrounds the other pack’s camp is worrisome. Kyungsoo shifts, and holds out a hand to keep the rest of the party in wolf form. Jongin steps in front of him as his shield.  
“I’ll go first,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “I’ll call when...when something happens.” He brushes his fingers through the fur on the back of Jongin’s neck, and Jongin leads Kyungsoo inside, brushing through the barrier.  
Wolf corpses still lay scattered across the camp, and the small corner of starving wolves is filled mostly with a few pups trying to play and others sleeping to avoid hunger pains. Some omegas huddle together, lips trembling.  
“How long will the moon goddess continue to leave us like this?” one of them asks, loud and angry, and another shushes her, pulling her against his chest. Kyungsoo taps Jongin’s shoulder, and Jongin barks. He lets his tongue hang out of his mouth and his tail wag.  
The wolves of the other pack jolt to their feet, baring their teeth immediately.  
“We’re not here to attack,” Kyungsoo announces. Standing up, the fabric of their clothing hanging from thin frames, the extremity of their starvation is even more obvious, elbows and ribs showing through shirts and cloaks.  
“To conquer?” one of the omegas asks, pulling a pup, presumably her son, close to her. “To let your alphas lay claim to us?” Jongin’s tail droops. “Do you think we aren’t capable of being a pack on our own?”  
“No-” Kyungsoo tries to say.  
“We’re not things!” the omega nearly screeches. “You can’t just have us!” Her chest heaves, and her son clings to her arm. “We’re wolves too!”  
Jongin whines, pressing close to Kyungsoo. His mate smooths his fingers over Jongin’s ears, and Jongin shakes his head at the feeling. The other pack notices this, and some of their expressions are curious at the trust between an alpha wolf and an omega wolf.  
“We do not intend to have you,” Kyungsoo speaks, keeping his head just barely bowed. With Jongin positioned in front of him, acting as the one to protect Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo appears to be the one in a place of submission. “Beside me is my mate. I have no reason to have any of you.” Jongin wags his tail again. “We are here only to offer you a place in our pack. My mate believes your lives are worth saving, and I agree with him.”  
“Why?” the same omega demands. “Why would a group of omegas and pups be worth anything to any pack if not for breeding? For raising our pups to kill under your orders?” Jongin takes that as his cue to shift.  
“I am an omega,” he announces. “And among the highest wolves in my pack. The way you all have been treated is not how my pack treats omegas. Or pups.” His gaze cuts to Kyungsoo. “I would never allow it.”  
“I wouldn’t either,” Kyungsoo agrees even if in matters of omegas and pups, Jongin’s orders stand over Kyungsoo’s.  
“Who are you?” the omega’s son demands, stepping out of her hold. His shoulders are relaxed even if his expression is twisted in distrust. These wolves are reachable; they want to be saved. Jongin resists the urge to nudge Kyungsoo, to alert him that this may work.  
“The pack the alpha and betas of your pack attacked for our hunting grounds,” Kyungsoo begins choosing his words carefully, “I am its Leader. This is my mate, its Second.”  
“Murderers,” a few pups whisper. One of them points at Jongin with his eyes wide.  
“The Second. That’s him. Murderer.”  
“You killed my dad!” the pup facing them screams, and his mother grabs for him, pulling him back againsst her and shushing him. “You killed my dad!” The pup cries, the sound bouncing through the trees and off the sky.  
“Yes,” Kyungsoo admits. The pup sniffles, and his face shadows in pure rage. “He attacked us, and we had no choice but to defend ourselves.” The pup screams at the top of his voice, his fangs showing, the sound nothing but grief. It tears through Jongin, to watch children and adults broken by agony and loss. Jongin wants to curl his hands into fists; he wants to argue. He wants to defend himself, but that would only augment the problem. He’s not a murderer; he’s a protector. He grabs for Kyungsoo’s hand.  
“We came because we know how the alphas of your pack treated you,” Jongin tells them. He turns around and calls for Hyejin and Wheein, Youngsun and Byulyi to come in. “We know you didn’t have any choice in the matter of them attacking our pack. We want to offer you sanctuary. A chance to thrive in a new pack.” The priestesses step through the barrier in wolf form, bags of medicine held in their jaws. They shift at the wave of Jongin’s hand.  
“Nothing else?” another omega asks, her voice scratchy and throat swollen in sickness. “Just sanctuary?”  
“Nothing else,” Kyungsoo promises. “We’ve chosen to forgive the actions of your old pack members. We’re all wolves here. Our brethren despite pack differences. To honor that, priestesses of the moon have come with us to treat those of you who are sick. We don’t wish to see anymore of you die.” The pup snarls at that, shoving away from his mother and marching towards the center of the camp clearing.  
“You wanted my dad dead! Say you’re sorry!” the pup screeches. “Say it! Say you’re sorry!” His face is red.  
“We didn’t come to apologize,” Kyungsoo refuses immediately. “That’s not why we came.”  
“Junho, that’s enough-” his mother starts, reaching for her son. The pup glares back at her and takes another step away from her.  
“Say you’re sorry!” he demands again. Kyungsoo crosses his arms, and Jongin can see his patience deteriorating. He can also see a pup who isn’t asking for someone to apologize for killing his father.  
“If anyone here should be apologizing, it is not-”  
“Leader,” Jongin snaps, and Kyungsoo stops. The other pack seems to hold its breath, wide-eyed stares following the interaction between alpha and omega, watching an omega give an alpha a command. Jongin takes a step towards the pup, and Kyungsoo grabs his elbow.  
“Second-”  
Jongin keeps walking, yanking his arm from Kyungsoo’s hold. He comes to a halt in front of the pup, watches the angry tears running down his face.  
“It’s hard to be sorry,” Jongin tells him. “Your dad attacked my pack. We had to protect ourselves. Do you understand that?”  
“I don’t care!” the pups shouts. “I just want my dad back!”  
“I know,” Jongin says, and he lowers himself to his knees slowly. Behind him, he can feel Kyungsoo’s stare, can hear the gasp of the four priestesses watching their Second humble himself before a pup. “It really hurts to lose someone.” He remembers his lost pup, remembers the few members of his pack who didn’t live through the attacks from this pack. “I’m not sorry for his death,” Jongin says after a long moment, “but I’m sorry you lost your dad. I’m sorry you won’t get to show him the wolf you grow up to be. I’m sorry you don’t have a dad to show your catches to, and I’m sorry you don’t have a dad to give you advice when you start looking for a mate.” Jongin looks up at the pup. He’s openly crying now, wiping furiously at his face, his lower lip trembling uncontrollably. “I think he’s probably sorry he won’t get to watch you grow up too.” The pup hiccups, and then his tears burst forth again. He falls to his knees across from Jongin, and Jongin opens his arms, lets the pup all but crawl into his lap as he cries out his grief. Jongin pets his hair and meets the pup’s mother’s eyes. She’s crying too. A glance at the other members of the pack reveals exactly how many of them are also crying.  
It also shows just how many of them are weak and sick.  
“Priestesses,” Jongin requests from where he kneels, “These wolves need medicine.”  
“Let’s get to work,” Byulyi orders, and the four of them split apart, walking forward with their supplies in hand.  
“Can I look at your throat?” Wheein requests of the scratchy-voiced wolf. She nods, and her permission for Wheein to touch her swollen throat breaks the pack’s fear of asking the others for help. A rise in noise as the pack begins talking to the priestesses, parents requesting medicine for their pups and complaints of hunger, fills the camp.  
The pup in Jongin’s arms sits up and returns to his mother at her urging. Kyungsoo is at Jongin’s side almost immediately, helping him stand.  
“That was amazing,” he whispers.  
“Pups are my jurisdiction, remember?”  
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at that, but the pride in them still warms Jongin’s skin. “I’ll go bring in the others,” he mentions, and Jongin watches him go, watches him call the rest of Jongin’s tournament mates into the camp. They all enter with expressions of disbelief, surveying the few number of wolves and the corpses scattered across the ground.  
“What is this?” Jongin hears. He turns. “You brought warriors here?” an older omega asks, his voice upset, his shoulders hunched.  
“Omegas,” Jongin corrects. “All of them.” He points at Changmin and Minseok. “Except those two.” He points at himself. “I’m an omega, too. In this pack, all wolves are trained to become hunters, fighters, field workers, anything. We’re free.” He tries to offer an encouraging smile. “They came to help.”  
There’s a tap on Jongin’s shoulder, and Jongdae is there, giving him a huge grin. The tiny teething marks on his chest give him away as an omega parent, and the older omega immediately seems to relax.  
“That’s right,” Jongdae speaks up. “So if there’s anything you need help with or… if you decide you want to come to our pack, anything you need carried over…?” He shrugs, pointing at himself.  
“Will you come see my daughter?” the omega asks. “She- her mate was, well, and she’s pregnant and scared and-”  
“Lead the way,” Jongdae says, offering his elbow to the middle-aged wolf.  
Jongin expects there to be another wolf from the other pack waiting to speak with him next, but everyone seems busy keeping the priestesses busy. He spins around to face Kyungsoo.  
“You should go talk to them all,” he says. “Invite them to join one by one. Let them know who you are.” Kyungsoo nods.  
“You too,” he says. “You’re the omega in charge.”  
“I will,” Jongin promises. He looks at Minseok and Changmin and the rest of the omegas he trained with all glancing around waiting for orders. “The rest of you go find ways to help,” he says. “If the priestesses need anything, or any of the pups…”  
Chanyeol steps out of the group. “I’m taking a small team hunting back on our lands,” he announces. “Anyone?”  
Taehyung and Yixing step out first, and Seulgi rolls her eyes and tosses her hair over her shoulder.  
Taemin is the next one to step forward, but he doesn’t join the gathering hunting party. “Second,” Taemin starts, dipping his head, “While the priestesses help the sick, we’re going to dig a grave for…” He waves his hand around the camp and then gestures to the rest of the omegas behind him. Jongin nods.  
“I’ll help with that,” Minseok offers. He elbows his mate. “Go hunt.”  
“Yes, beta,” Changmin agrees, pinching Minseok’s side. He walks over to Chanyeol and dips his head to him. “Lead us out of here, kid.”  
“That’s an alpha,” an omega being treated by Byulyi nearby whispers, staring after Changmin as he falls on all fours and follows Chanyeol out as second in line in the hunting party. The corners of Jongin’s lips quirk up.  
“Yes,” Byulyi replies. “So is Leader. All with mouse brains.” She scoffs. “They’re good wolves though.”  
“He bowed to an omega,” the omega continues. Byulyi laughs.  
“As he should.” She pats the omega’s arm as she finishes tying off a bangdage around an infected wound. “You’re done.”  
The omega thanks her profusely, and Jongin watches the next one sit, opening her mouth to show some cracked teeth. There aren’t many wolves, and Jongin is stunned as they all seem to come to life, the pups beginning to break away from their mothers to play.  
“Most of them I’ve talked to have said they want to come back with us,” Kyungsoo interrupts Jongin’s thoughts, and he grabs for his mate’s hand. “Come meet them.”  
“Sure,” Jongin agrees. “Let’s meet our new pack members.” He doesn’t expect it to be a complete joy to meet them, doesn’t expect to be swept into hugs of gratitude as he explains over and over how his pack works, how the members of the other pack are welcome and wanted. Junho’s mother is the first one to apologize to him, to explain how much she wishes she could have convinced her mate and the other wolves to not attack them.  
“You’ll never be disregarded like that again,” Jongin promises her.  
“My name is Min,” she tells him. She bows. “Second.”  
The sun fades from the sky before the wolves who wants to join are all packed, still fussing over pups and medicine. Jongin is exuberant but exhausted, and he’s so grateful when Kyungsoo announces they should all take a break now. The hunting party returns with an abundance of rabbit and an old buck. The starves wolves begin to cry in relief, and Jongin knows they made the right choice coming here.  
As the leader of the hunting party, Chanyeol takes the first bite. As old enemies and new pack, Kyungsoo and Jongin take the last.  
“I think some of us should head back,” Minseok says, walking up to Jongin after the meal as some of the others work on building a bonfire for the night. “To get space ready.”  
“You’re probably right,” Jongin agrees. “And tell First how many are coming.” Minseok nods.  
“Of course.” He looks around, does a quick head count. “Changmin and I will go, and Taemin and Taehyung mentioned they wanted to go back. Namjoon and Jimin too.”  
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Jongin laughs quietly. A little pup walks over to them, and Jongin recognizes him as one who had lost both of his parents at the very beginning of the territory dispute, an alpha father and female beta for a mother. He reaches for Minseok’s hand, and Minseok startles as the pup wraps his fingers around just two of Minseok’s.  
“Can...Can I come too?” the pup asks in the tiniest voice. He can’t be more than seven sun cycles. Minseok’s expression melts and he crouches down so he can look the little pup in the eyes.  
“Minseok?” Changmin calls over in curiosity. Minseok waves at him, urging him over.  
“Of course, kiddo,” Minseok says. “Of course you can.”  
“But I- can I-?” He sniffs, rubbing his nose with his hand. Changmin steps up behind Minseok. The pup stares up at him. “I want to… I want to go too.”  
“You can,” Changmin promises. “You can come with us.”  
“Really?” the pup asks. His voice wobbles.  
“Yes,” Minseok says instantly. “Yes. You can come with us.” His fingers are curled around the kid’s just as much as the kid has his fingers wrapped around Minseok’s, and Jongin isn’t unaware of how much Changmin and Minseok have always wanted a pup.  
Minseok looks at Jongin. Can I? he mouths.  
“Yes,” Jongin answers immediately. “Yes. Definitely.” Minseok’s smile is wide and crooked, and he shows it both to the pup and to his mate. Changmin helps Minseok to his feet and pulls the pup up into his arms. The kid wraps his tiny arms around Changmin’s neck almost immediately.  
“I got you,” he tells the kid. “What’s your name?”  
“Sleepy,” the pup murmurs.  
“Is that right?” Minseok asks. The pup buries his shy smile against Changmin’s shoulder.  
“Seongchan,” he whispers.  
“Seongchan,” Minseok replies. “I’m Minseok, and Changmin is holding you. You can call us that or… or whatever you like.”  
“Okay,” Seongchan says. His eyes droop closed. “I sleep.” With the pup secure in Changmin’s arms, the members of Jongin’s pack who want to gather up some things and leave. Jongin looks around for Kyungsoo and finds him sitting up talking to a few pups. Jongin wanders over that way, and as he approaches, he recognizes the words Kyungsoo is speaking as one of the one’s Jongin’s grandmother tells.  
He must have learned those for Sanghun.  
“...so the alpha prince fought through an entire pack, not stopping until every single one of them who had stolen his love away lay dead, the brush and bramble surrounding their camp laid to ruin. The prince rushed into the sun priestess’ den to find his love there, sleeping. He'd never looked more beautiful, the prince thought, and he kissed his omega awake with true love's first kiss."  
The pups gag and one of them, an alpha pup, yells, “ew!” at one of his friends puckering his lips at him. The pups squeal and laugh, and one of them crawls into Kyungsoo’s lap, demanding the rest.  
“The omega prince opens his eyes to his handsome alpha, and he knew that we was freed from his curse of sleep, that the sun priestess was defeated, and that he could finally be with his alpha forever,” Kyungsoo continues. The pup in his lap sighs and smiles at the happy ending. “There is feasting and celebration when they return to their pack, and their lives are happy for the rest of their days.” The pups clap, and Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder, meeting Jongin’s gaze. “We call that a happily, ever after."  
Jongin claps a few times, humoring Kyungsoo. When the alpha smiles at him, it’s breathtaking.  
“So that’s what you’ve been doing over at my parents’ cabin,” Jongin muses, rolling out a blanket near the fire for the two of them to share after Kyungsoo had sent all the pups to sleep.  
“I thought you’d be happy,” Kyungsoo says. He kisses Jongin’s shoulder over his claim marks. Jongin snorts.  
“I am happy,” he says. “Right now, we have a pup waiting for us and new wolves to bring to our pack. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”  
~*~  
Kyungsoo’s paws pound across the ground alongside Jongin’s, the light of the full moon guiding their path to the northern edges of the territory with the entirety of their pack running behind them. Even though the wolves behind them are technically a mix of new members and those who he’s known for sun cycles, Jongin doesn’t see any of them as less a part of the pack.  
Kyungsoo leads the way onto the rocks bordering the bottoms of the next rise of mountains, and Jongin bounds along behind him. The alpha wolf stops on a ledge and turns to face his pack. He throws back his head and howls, and Jongin throws back his own head and sings along with him only a little higher. Their low song is joined by dozens of voices singing in higher tones, filling the sky until the moon could burst with the sound of it.  
The ring of Kyungsoo’s howl in Jongin ears encourages Jongin to sing louder, and the rest of the back follows. There is a lot to sing about. In Kyungsoo’s song, Jongin can hear gratitude and affection, can hear the pride of a wolf who leads a powerful pack. Jongin sings of love for his son and gratitude for a Leader like Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo’s song changes to the colors of how he loves his pack, his son, and under that, Jongin can just make out the way in which Kyungsoo loves him too. Endlessly, is the only word to describe it.  
Kyungsoo leads the run home with the new pack members running beside him and Jongin flanked by the pups who had just become wolves in the eyes of the pack.  
The return to the glade used to be Jongin and Kyungsoo running through the glade from the back and up towards the cabin until they’re the last ones running, the rest returned home. Now, it’s them breaking through the tree line and racing for Jongin’s parents’ cabin, making a game out of beating Jongin’s parents there. Jongin’s grandmother stands at the door of the cabin with Sanghun bundled in her arms.  
“Two sun cycles,” she says when she sees them. Kyungsoo and Jongin shift, tugging on the pants they’d left outside the cabin earlier that day. “Two sun cycles of being Leader and Second. Two sun cycles of being mated. The moon goddess surely knows a thing or two.” It’s the most supportive thing Jongin’s grandmother has said to him directly in a while, and that’s the only reason he ignores the mention of the moon goddess.  
“We’re still figuring it out,” Kyungsoo says, taking Sanghun from Jongin’s grandmother’s arms. His grandmother smiles, showing off her cracked tooth.  
“You both are doing well,” she says. Jongin’s pauses. There’s a shadow in his grandmother’s expression. “I hope everything nothing happens to stop that.”  
“Storms, again, mom?” Byulhee’s voice interrupts. “The sky was beautifully clear today. How was Sanghun?” She and Sungkeun walk up to their own cabin. Jongin honestly doesn’t know what he would do without his mother.  
“Loud,” Jongin’s grandmother answers, clearly unhappy with the subject change but willing to agree to it.  
“As expected of my son’s child,” Sungkeun laughs. He wraps an arm around his mate’s waist. “Excuse us, Mom,” he says to his mother-in-moon. “We’ve had our run for the day. We’re going to bed.”  
“You two make me feel old,” Jongin’s grandmother grumbles. “Goodnight, Second and Leader.” She heads inside. Sungkeun and Byulhee following after her.  
“Homeward bound?” Jongin hints, and Kyungsoo gives a sigh.  
“Definitely.”  
Sanghun babbles and dozes during the walk home, and Jongin hovers close to Kyungsoo, watching his son’s face. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe this beautiful pup is his; it’s never hard to believe how in love with the pup Jongin is.  
“I feel bad we left him for over a day bringing over the new wolves,” Kyungsoo starts as they climb onto the huge pallet of furs, settling a sleeping Sanghun between them. “And then we left him again for the full moon.”  
“He’s only one moon old,” Jongin says, tugging a pelt up over them all. “I doubt he remembers much at this point.” He rubs his son’s belly. Sanghun kicks one foot in his sleep. “I’m not saying I like leaving him, but I think my parents’ and grandmother’s willingness to watch him is probably our saving grace right now.”  
Kyungsoo links his fingers with Jongin’s over Sanghun’s belly. His thumb is gentle against the side of Jongin’s hand.  
“I still want to spend every moment I can with him,” Kyungsoo says. “I want him to know his papa loves him.”  
Jongin lifts an eyebrow. “That’s what you want him to call you? Papa?”  
Kyungsoo shrugs. “That’s what my brother and I called my dad. It just...feels right.”  
“Cute,” Jongin says. “That’s cute.”  
Kyungsoo lets go of his hand and reaches over to shove Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin has to swallow his laugh so as not to wake his kid.  
“I’m definitely not going by Pops,” Jongin says. “I’d probably think he’s talking to my pops instead of me.”  
“What do you want to go by for our pups then?”  
Jongin stills. “Pups?” he questions.  
Kyungsoo flushes, coughing. “Well. I- I don’t know. Pup. Pups. I just… it doesn’t matter.”  
Jongin has to duck to hide his smile. In all honesty, he wouldn’t mind another pup, wouldn’t mind another few pups. To hear that Kyungsoo feels the same is nice. It’s comfortable.  
Jongin hums. “Maybe...Daddy?” he tries. “Yeah. I think so.”  
“Okay, Daddy,” Kyungsoo deadpans, and Jongin hides his face again, groaning.  
“You know, there was a good mood going there, and you murdered it.”  
This time, Kyungsoo laughs out loud, and it’s Jongin who’s left to quiet Sanghun’s screaming at being woken. He gives Kyungsoo the best glare he can manage, and it only makes Kyungsoo laugh harder. After that, Sanghun never really manages to get back to sleep, and Jongin nearly curses at the sun when light start streaming into the cabin. He feels like he hasn’t cuaght even a moment of sleep. Kyungsoo’s slightly red eyes show off just how tired he is too.  
“This is your fault,” Jongin reminds him before Kyungsoo heads out that morning to lead a hunting party.  
“I take it back,” Kyungsoo says. “One pup is plenty.”  
Jongin doesn’t believe him for even a moment. He suspects Kyungsoo didn’t mean what he said even the slightest bit.  
“Most of the day passes with Jongin catching up on sleep and Sanghun sleeping on his stomach until he gets hungry and nuzzles at Jongin’s chest.  
“Puppy,” Jongin groans in annoyance, forcing himself awake from his nap to adjust Sanghun so that he can eat. “You are far more work than the fields, do you know that?” Sanghun swallows loudly, and Jongin takes that as confirmation. Sanghun starts babbling when he’s full, spit bubbling at the corner of his mouth and his eyes wide open. Jongin grabs his discarded shirt to wipe the pup’s face and stands to hold Sanghun over his shoulder, patting the baby’s back. Sanghun’s little fist holds the fabric of Jongin’s shirt where he’d draped it over his shoulder in case the kid spits or drools.  
A knock on the cabin door startles Sanghun into burping. The baby’s shocked face at the noise has Jongin snorting into laughter.  
“Come in,” he calls. Of all the pack members, Minseok and Changmin walking in was definitely unexpected, but they’re not unwelcome at all. Seongchan walks quietly between them, holding tightly to their hands.  
“Minseok,” Jongin greets. “Why are you here?”  
“That’s a warm welcome,” Minseok snarks in the same tone he used back when he was pushing Jongin to train harder. “Second.”  
“I’m not going to pretend I don’t know you,” Jongin snorts. “Or Changmin.” He crouches down, Sanghun still in his arms, to Seongchan’s level. “Or you, Seongchan. How are you?” The boy blushes and buries his face against Changmin’s thigh.  
“Seongchan,” Changmin coaxes, running his fingers through the boy’s hair. “Don’t be shy. Say ‘hello.’” Seongchan shakes his head, still hiding his face.  
“Seongchan,” Minseok adds, a little firmer. The boy turns his head the slightest amount, peeking at Jongin through his bangs.  
“Hello,” he whispers quickly. His gaze flicks down to Sanghun sleeping in Jongin’s arms. “Hello, puppy.” He turns to hide again. Minseok sighs, and Changmin laughs.  
“We’ll get there,” he says, still petting the boy’s hair. “We actually brought him here to see Leader.”  
“He’s out hunting,” Jongin says, standing back up. “But he should be back around high noon? I have no idea what time it is. This one kept me up all night.”  
“It’s almost high noon,” Minseok supplies.  
“And you want to subject Seongchan to Leader?” Jongin asks for clarification, raising an eyebrow. “He’s kind of like a porcupine.” A slight giggle is muffled into the fabric of Changmin’s pants. Jongin’s lips quirk up. “Do you like porcupines, Seongchan?”  
“No!” Seongchan blurts out. “My mama said porcupines hurt! And Mom said you can’t get them out! And alpha Changmin said they’ll be stuck forever and ever!” He pulls away from Changmin’s leg and crosses his arms. “I don’t want porcupine whiskers,” he mutters.  
“Lucky for you,” Jongin says, getting down on his knees. “My mate is a very good porcupine. He won’t stick you with his quills.”  
“Your mate is a porcupine?” Seongchan all but screeches, and Sanghun’s eyes snap open. The pup sniffles, and Jongin doesn’t even have a chance to quiet him before Seongchan is already whispering hushing sounds. “Don’t cry, puppy,” he whispers. “Don’t cry.” He looks up at Jongin.  
“Who’s him’s name?”  
“This is Sanghun,” Jongin tells him.  
“What’s your name?”  
Jongin can’t remember the last time he was asked that question. “You can call me Second,” he says. It strikes Jongin then that all the new pups and the new wolves in the pack might never know the name Byulhee gave him at birth. The first time they learn of Jongin’s given name may be when he and Kyungsoo step down and are banished from the pack.  
“Second?” Seongchan sniffs. “That’s not a name.”  
“No,” Jongin agrees. “But that’s who I am.”  
“You’re not very scary,” Seongchan states. He crosses his arms. “You smell nice.” Jongin’s laugh is suitably confused. He glances at Minseok.  
“He told us about his former Alpha,” Minseok reveals. “He’s been having nightmares. We thought - hoped, really - that meeting Leader would show him that here is nothing like there.”  
“It’s only been two nights,” Jongin says. “This place is new. Your cabin is new to him.”  
“You haven't heard what he’s said,” Minseok argues, and Jongin swallows. He hasn’t. Minseok is right. Very rarely is Minseok wrong.  
“You do what you think best,” Jongin relents. He holds Sanghun carefully in one arm and reaches out to ruffle Seongchan’s hair. “Leader will be here soon.”  
“Can I hold your puppy?” Seongchan asks, hopeful eyes huge and bright.  
“He’s kind of heavy,” Jongin starts, unsure. Plenty of people besides Jongin and Kyungsoo have held Sanghun, but this tiny boy seems to be a bit too small, too fragile himself to hold Jongin’s son.  
“I’m strong!” Seongchan counters, and Minseok and Changmin just give Jongin twin shrugs.  
“Okay,” Jongin caves. He directs Seongchan to his furs. “Sit here. Put your arms like… this.” It’s difficult to get the kid to make the right shape with his arms when Jongin only has one hand available, but he manages to wrangle the pup into an acceptable position. “Ready?” Seongchan wiggles his fingers. Jongin holds his breath as he slowly passes his son to the young pup, holding his kid’s head until he’s absolutely certain Seongchan has him firmly held.  
Slowly, Jongin takes a step back, letting Seongchan hold Sanghun all on his own.  
“I don’t know if I could do that,” Minseok whispers to him. “If I had my own pup, you know?”  
“I’m panicking,” Jongin says honestly, giving Minseok a tight smile. Seongchan glances up at Changmin.  
“Alpha,” he calls softly. “Can you come here?”  
“Sure, pup.” Changmin moves to sit beside his adopted son and immediately reaches to take Sanghun from him. “Is he heavy?” Seongchan shows his teeth.  
“I’m not done holding him,” he says.  
“Okay,” Changmin murmurs. He pets Seongchan’s head. “You just tell us if your arms get tired, okay?” Seongchan nods absently, staring at Sanghun again.  
“I had a brother,” Seongchan whispers to Changmin. “He was so small like this.” Changmin doesn’t say anything; Jongin wouldn’t know to respond to that either. Minseok takes a step forward, walking stiffly over to sit on Seongchan’s other side. “So cute like this.” Seongchan leans down, noses at Sanghun’s little fists. “He didn’t have any fingers, so Mom didn’t like him.”  
“What happened?” Minseok asks, hushed like he doesn’t really want to ask.  
“I don’t know,” Seongchan says. “He wandered away and didn’t come back. That’s what Mama told me. I was sad.” When he’s older, Seongchan will probably understand what really happened to his brother, but for now, his explanation is fine. Jongin certainly isn’t about to tell a boy of no more than seven sun cycles that his parents chose to get rid of his brother, probably left him to the elements.  
Sanghun breaks into a peal of laughter, and the sadness of the moment shatters. Seongchan’s face brightens again. For the first time, Jongin notices the deep dimple set into his left cheek.  
The cabin door creaks open.  
“Nini-?”  
“Leader,” Jongin cuts him off quickly. Kyungsoo steps away from the hall to the door, and his vaguely confused expression turns into one of understanding when he sees Minseok and Changmin sitting in the main room with their adopted son.  
“Leader,” Changmin greets first. He’s echoed by his mate, and Kyungsoo waves away the both of them making to stand.  
“I wondered why you were so formal.” Kyungsoo’s hand is warm on the small of Jongin’s back; his breath tickles his ear. “You’re tense.”  
“My pup is being held by another pup,” Jongin whispers. “I’m a little… concerned.”  
Kyungsoo’s amusement shows in his fanged smile. “Second,” Kyungsoo soothes, smoothing his thumb over Jongin’s wrist. “He’s doing fine. He’s an omega pup. He’s got this on instinct.”  
“Those instincts haven’t grown in yet,” Jongin mutters through his teeth. Seongchan is so cute grinning at every sound Sanghun makes and imitating them back to the baby, laughing at the bubbles Sanghun makes with his spit and squealing for Minseok and Changmin to ‘look, look, look!’  
“Seongchan,” Minseok calls, drawing the pup’s attention. “Someone is here you need to meet.”  
Changmin carefully lifts Sanghun from his adopted pup’s arms, and Jongin hadn’t realized exctly how much he had tensed up until the tension has fled his body. Sanghun gurgles happily against Jongin’s neck.  
“Ba!” he warbles. “Ba, ba, ba!”  
“Hush, puppy,” Jongin laughs, petting the short hairs on his son’s head. His bald spot is still hilariously prominent, the skin of his scalp just as soft as his hair.  
Minseok urges Seongchan to stand up. “Seongchan,” he introduces, “this is Leader.”  
“That’s not a name either,” Seongchan says, gaze flicking between Jongin and Kyungsoo. His eyes seem to stay on Jongin longer, and then Jongin realizes it’s not him he’s looking at, but the baby in his arms.  
“No, but it is who I am,” Kyungsoo says, mirroring Jongin’s words. They spend too much time together, Jongin has decided.  
Changmin crouches down next to Seongchan. “Pup, this is the alpha in charge of our pack.”  
Despite Minseok’s warning of how violently Seongchan reacts to memories of his former pack’s Alpha, it’s still startling to watch Seongchan’s bright, curious face crumple in terror. He grabs for Changmin, ducking his head.  
“A-Alpha,” he starts. “I’m sorry. I was stupid. I’m sorry. Alpha, please don’t be angry. I didn’t-” The pup’s voice cracks, and his words slur together. He’s becoming hysterical, speaking faster and faster.  
“Hey, hey, hey, hey, shh, hey,” Kyungsoo says, getting down on his knees in front of the pup. “Hey, Seongchan, puppy, hey. It’s okay. Look at me.” Seongchan keeps his eyes stubbornly focused on the ground.  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry-”  
“Puppy,” Kyungsoo tries again, lifting a hand to Seongchan’s chin. “Look at me, please.” Maybe it was Kyungsoo saying ‘please,’ and maybe it was him physically encouraging Seongchan to lift his head, but the boy does look up, meeting Kyungsoo’s eyes for only a second before his gaze flicks away. “Why are you apologizing?”  
Seongchan is quiet.  
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Kyungsoo continues. “You - hey, listen - you are a pup still. I’m not your old Alpha. I’m your new Leader.” He holds out his arms, waiting.  
“You’re not going to punish me?” Seongchan asks, shoulders hunched as he tries to make himself as small as possible. He looks like he’s about to disappear into the sunbeams coming in through the cracks in the walls.  
“Not unless you do something that deserves a punishment,” Kyungsoo confirms. He smiles, and Jongin holds his breath so that it can’t be stolen away. “Come here, kiddo.” Slowly, tentative and timid, Seongchan lets go of Changmin and takes a step towards Kyungsoo. “It’s okay,” Kyungsoo promises him. Seongchan touches Kyungsoo’s fingers, his wrists, making his way slowly to his elbows.  
“Ba!” Sanghun trills, and Seongchan jumps, throwing his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck.  
“He’s loud, isn’t he?” Kyungsoo asks Seongchan. “My pup.”  
“He’s your puppy?” Seongchan points at Sanghun. Sanghun gurgles.  
“Yes,” Kyungsoo confirms. “Visit him anytime you want, okay?” Seongchan hugs Kyungsoo tight again.  
“Thank you!” he exclaims. “Thank you, thank you!” Minseok is all smiles, leaning against Changmin’s shoulder as they watch their adopted pup break out of his shell of fear.  
“Thank you, Leader,” Minseok says, helping Kyungsoo unwind Seongchan from his hug. Kyungsoo gets to his feet and pats Seongchan’s head.  
“Sure.”  
“We’ll leave then,” Changmin says. “It’s too nice out not to play.” He tickles Seongchan’s belly; the pup squeals and squirms, trying to run away. In Jongin’s arms, Sanghun’s eyes so wide, and he squeals too.  
Changmin and Minseok take Seongchan’s hands, and Jongin beams watching Seongchan beam up at them. Changmin and Minseok are good parents; Seongchan is lucky to have them  
“Wait,” Kyungsoo says suddenly, and the three departing wolves pause.  
“Leader?” Changmin prompts.  
Kyungsoo steps forward to Seongchan, encouraging the pup to bend his head forward. “What’s this?” Kyungsoo asks, pointing to a rash spreading across Seongchan’s neck and up into his hairline. Jongin’s blood goes cold.  
“Goddess,” Minseok breathes, lifting up Seongchan’s shirt to see the rash on his belly and back too. “Does this itch?” Seongchan’s lip trembles. “It’s okay,” Minseok says immediately. “You can tell me the truth.” Seongchan glances at Kyungsoo and then at Changmin. He looks down.  
“It hurts,” he whispers. He’s not pointing to the rash though. He’s touching his throat.  
“Take him to the medicine hut,” Jongin orders. Minseok’s eyebrows slant down. Kyungsoo spins to face him.  
“It might just be a cold-”  
“Or it might not,” Jongin snaps. “Take him. Now.”  
Minseok bristles. “He’s not your pup to decide-”  
“Yes, Second,” Changmin agrees, picking Seongchan up and holding him on his hip. He stares at his mate. “Let’s go.” Minseok’s shoulders slump, but he dutifully follows his mate out of the cabin. Kyungsoo and Jongin hold perfectly still until the creak and clang of the cabin door closing rings through the space.  
“What the fuck was that?” Kyungsoo demands.  
“He needs to get treated right away,” Jongin answers.  
“You’re not his guardian,” Kyungsoo counters. “You don’t get to make decisions like that, even if you’re Second.”  
“Taehyung had a rash just like that when we were pups,” Jongin argues. “I know that look. I know what it is.”  
“And what is that, oh mighty priest?” Kyungsoo asks, mocking. Jongin frowns.  
“Scratch fever,” he answers. “Rash. Sore throat. Soon, fever and headaches and blurring vision. I doubt the pup would have said anything. Who knows how long he’s been hiding it for?”  
“He’s a child.” Kyungsoo’s frown is still deep, but the lines of frustration have deepened to marks of worry. Jongin’s hands tremble, still holding his son tightly to him. “He can’t have been hiding it long. The rash probably only just started today.”  
Jongin isn’t a priest; Jongin is a trained warrior. He doesn’t have the answers to Kyungsoo’s questions concealed in statements.  
“I don’t know,” he says because it’s better than silence. He kisses his pup’s head. “Sanghun is only a moon old, Kyungsoo.”  
“Seongchan might not even be contagious! He wasn’t here long enough to-”  
“Do you know that?” Jongin demands. Kyungsoo’s silence burns in Jongin’s ears, and fear chills his throat. “We have to give Sanghun a bath,” Jongin murmurs finally, voice nothing more than a whisper. “And maybe pray he hasn’t caught scratch fever.” Prayer. Jongin closes his eyes. He hasn’t done that in a long time.  
Kyungsoo moves to the firepit, taking the flint and stone in his hands and striking. “I’ll warm the water,” he says. “But Jongin…” Jongin pauses in rocking Sanghun in his arms. “Don’t worry, okay? He’ll be okay. All of us. We’re going to be okay.”  
“Okay,” Jongin says, but he’s not sure he really means that. Judging by Kyungsoo’s sloped shoulders, he can sense Jongin’s doubt. The fire comes to life, and Kyungsoo goes to fetch the clean water basin, bringing it over to the fire and lifting it over the pit to warm it. The muscles in his shoulders and back shift under his skin, and Jongin wants so desperately to believe in Kyungsoo’s strength and conviction in his own words.  
Sanghun gurgles as they wash his skin, his fingers clenching in the water. Outside, the sky rumbles with the far-off sound of thunder.  
~*~  
“I thought I might see you here after Minseok came in cursing you yesterday,” Wheein says in lieu of a proper greeting. She dips her head, ushering Jongin inside, Kyungsoo in tow. “Leader.” Wheein greets him properly, dipping her head a little further.  
“Good morning, priestess,” Kyungsoo returns with the same level of formality. Jongin gives him an unimpressed stare, and Kyungsoo shrugs at him.  
“Where are the other girls?” Jongin asks, glancing around, half expecting Hyejin to jump out from behind on the tapestries.  
“Out checking on new pack members and the new pups,” Wheein says. “Yongsun is around here somewhere, helping a beta through her second time whelping.” She frowns. “She’ll probably be busy with that until the sun comes up tomorrow.”  
Jongin can only grimace in sympathy. He’s not going to forget the pain of childbirth any time soon. Kyungsoo’s fingers press against the small of Jongin’s back, easing the ache that comes with the memory. They follow Wheein deeper into the medicine hut. She pushes aside a pelt hung to hide a small room with a fire pit dug into the floor, a small basin of water set beside it to warm. It’s just large enough to hold a small child. The scent in the room is heady with the plants growing along the walls. Jongin recognizes a few of them: mint and basil, lavender in the corners.  
“I probably should ask why the pack’s leadership pair has come to visit, but I can probably make a guess,” Wheein says, ushering them inside. She pauses, waiting for permission to continue speaking. Jongin adjusts Sanghun in his arms.  
“What’s your guess?” he asks.  
Wheein’s smile is bright, but her eyes are a little too dim to match, focused on Sanghun. “The little omega pup Minseok and Changmin adopted came in last night with scratch fever,” Wheein begins. “Highly contagious, but not particularly dangerous. We gave him an herbal wash and sent them home for a day of rest.” She grimaces. “Seongchan is going to hate us for the tea we told him to drink. It’s really awful. Effective, however.”  
“So he’ll be okay?” Kyungsoo inquires. Wheein waves a hand.  
“Scratch fever is more uncomfortable than anything else,” she says. “As long as Seongchan’s fever doesn’t rise too much, he’ll be perfectly fine in a couple days.” She’s still watching Sanghun. “But I think what you really want to ask is whether or not your son will be okay.” She bites her bottom lip. She picks nervously as her nails. “That’s a tricky question.”  
As if on cue, Sanghun sniffles and lets out a sharp cry. Jongin begins immediately to comfort him, murmuring gently to him.  
“Did you feed him?” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin, were his hands not occupied with his pup, would have slapped Kyungsoo’s shoulder followed by his own head. In the rush to get to the medicine hut, he’d completely forgotten to check if the baby has any air trapped in his stomach.  
“Yes,” Jongin answers, curt. He tries to act casual as he adjusts his son over his shoulder and pats his back. He pointedly ignores Kyungsoo’s snicker, turning his attention back to Wheein. “Why is it tricky?”  
“Sanghun isn’t even two moon cycles old,” Wheein begins, “let alone a full sun cycle. Scratch fever isn’t deadly usually, and the exception to that rule lies in just-whelped pups.” She rubs her hands together. “If his fever gets too high, he could lose his hearing, his sight, his mobility…” She swallows. “His life.”  
“No,” Jongin says. “No, I can’t- that won’t happen.”  
Wheein looks wholly apologetic. “I don’t want that to happen, Second.” She moves to kneel beside the plants growing along the walls, plucking a few leaves from one and reaching for another. “No one in this pack wants that to happen. I doubt there’s been a birth more celebrated than Sanghun’s in suns. Maybe Seokjin’s before that, if my dad didn’t exaggerate.” Seokjin, as the youngest child of Minyoung and Hana, would have been a celebrated birth, especially with how advanced in age they were when he was conceived. That was the same sun cycle when Jongin was born.  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo murmurs beside him. He doesn’t say anything else, but his voice is enough to calm Jongin’s immediate fear. His hand slides from Jongin’s back to around his waist, supporting him.  
“Has Sanghun shown any signs of scratch fever?” Wheein asks, still fiddling with the plants. “Or anything else? If he did catch it from Seongchan, he probably won’t show any signs until tomorrow or the day after.” She stands and moves to the basin, crushing the herbs in her palms and scattering them over the water. The scent of sorrel is sharp and immediate, almost overwhelming beside the lavender in the room.  
“No,” Jongin confirms. “No rash. But if his throat hurts or anything, he can’t exactly tell us.”  
Wheein’s smile is wry. “He’ll be quiet if he’s really sick,” she says. “And if he does start crying and nothing will make him stop, it’s probably because his throat hurts worse and worse the more he cries.” The priestess leans over the basin and inhales. “Bring him here,” she directs.  
Jongin hesitates.  
“I’m not going to drown him,” Wheein laughs. “We’re going to give him a bath. This is essentially the bath we give to wolves who have scratch fever.”  
“Essentially?” Kyungsoo inquires.  
“It’s not as intense,” Wheein admits. “Sanghun’s too young. His skin is too sensitive. This is the best I can do.” She offers up a smile and her arms to take Sanghun from Jongin. “Besides, he’s not even sick yet. This is a preemptive measure.” Jongin has to take a deep breath before he allows Wheein to take his son from him, curling him carefully in her arms as she lowers him into the bath. The boy’s shoulders never submerge; he’s in no danger. Still, he cries, and Jongin’s heart clenches in his chest.  
“Wash everything in your cabin,” Wheein advises as she gently washes Sanghun’s hair. “Anything that Seongchan may have touched. That’s the most we can do now.” She lifts Sanghun from the bath, drying him and wrapping him in furs. “He’s going to be fine,” she promises. “The moon goddess won’t-” She stops.  
“Won’t what?” Jongin prompts.  
“Won’t test you again with the life of a pup,” Wheein finishes, voice small. “But I think it’s best I warn you that… that in a baby, the fever can set in quickly. He might go to sleep perfectly fine and wake up with a rash and a fever. He might… well. Just keep an eye on him, Second.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t know why I’m saying that. I know you will. So he’s going to be just fine with you to take care of him.” Jongin shakes, hands and legs trembling. He bites hard on his lip, swallowing hard on every curse he wishes to tell the moon goddess.  
“Right,” he manages.  
“I’ll take him,” Kyungsoo offers, holding out his arms for Wheein to hand over his son. Sanghun grabs onto Kyungsoo’s fingers, quieting the moment he’s in his father’s arms. “Than you. For this. For everything.”  
“We’ll all be praying,” Wheein promises.  
“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says again, and he leads the way out of the medicine hut. Jongin trips as he walks, keeping his eyes on his son.  
“She can’t take him from us,” Kyungsoo tells him, grabbing Jongin before he trips again on the walk up to their cabin. “Jongin. Hey. Jongin.”  
Jongin stops. He looks at the cabin only a few steps ahead of them. He turns back to stare at the medicine hut and then at the overcast sky.  
“Fucking storms!” he bursts out. “Why is it always storming?” His scream bursts off the sky, bouncing back to him, echoing in his own ears. Sanghun’s crying sounds next to him. “I’m so fucking tired of the rain!” Thunder rumbles in the distance. “Fuck you!” His body burns with fury. He doesn’t believe the moon goddess is real, and yet he hates her with every fiber of his being. He believes she’s real, but he doesn’t believe she cares about them anymore than they care about the dead leaves. Jongin doesn’t know what he thinks, but he does know that his son is the most valuable person in his life. He’s lost one pup- one he didn’t even get to meet. He’s allowed to overreact. Sanghun’s crying only twists Jongin’s pain deeper into his skin.  
“Stop it,” Kyungsoo orders, trying desperately to quiet Sanghun and Jongin both. “Stop. You’re upsetting him. You’re upsetting yourself. Sanghun isn’t even sick as far as we know. Don’t worry over nothing.”  
Jongin is still shaking. He doesn’t understand why Kyungsoo doesn’t understand his fear. He doesn’t understand how Kyungsoo can be so calm when they could wake up tomorrow to a sick son and nothing to save him but a few prayers. There’s too many questions. A drop of rain falls on Jongin’s cheek, a tear he won’t allow himself to cry.  
“Let’s go inside,” Kyungsoo says. “Or I’m going to before it rains. Come in when you’re calm.”  
“I’m- I need to run,” Jongin says. He doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo’s response, bursting out of his clothes and into wolf form. His paws carry him away from his mate and son, his family, away from the medicine hut and Wheein’s carefully selected words. He isn’t sure where he’s going, trusting his body to keep himself from slipping in the mud as the rain begins to fall in earnest.  
The sheer cliffs of the northwest borders of Jongin’s pack’s territory rise before him. Jongin hadn’t realized he’d run so far, hadn’t realized how hard he’s breathing. He pushes himself further, squinting into the rain, ignoring the crash of thunder around him as the storm rolls in. Jongin’s claws scrabble at the rocks, and he shifts mid-climb to wrap wet fingers around equally wet rocks, dragging himself up onto a ledge. The wind whips through his hair. He shivers, rain drenching his skin.  
He settles on a ledge, turning to look out at the trees covering his home.  
“Don’t take him,” he whispers, ducking his head. His fingers lace together. His body remembers how to pray even if his heart doesn’t. “Please, please, please.” His lip trembles. “You can’t- you can’t just- please.” The thunder shakes the rocks where Jongin sits, and his sobs wrack from his chest. “He’s my baby!” he shouts at the sky. “He’s my son. My son!” He’s going to fall if he keeps shaking this badly, but his fear and the cold of the rain cause shivers to run through him every other breath.  
Jongin can’t tell the difference between the rain and the tears on his face. They all feel the same to him. “I know I haven’t really believed,” he says, voice trembling. “I just do what I’ve been asked to, and I never asked anything back.” Is that true? Does it matter? “I became Second! I let go of my grandmother’s stories! I gave up on everything I wanted just to follow your will.” His nails slice through his palms with the force of the fists he makes. “I gave up the romance I wanted! I gave up the choices I could have had! I gave up my freedom!” He takes a deep breath that’s as much rain as it is air. He coughs hard, mixed with his crying.  
The thunder crashes, and Jongin nearly falls, rocked with the force of the down. The lightning screeches across the sky, lighting up the glade in the distance.  
“Can’t I just have this one thing?” Jongin screams to the clouds, and he begs his voice to break past them and reach the moon. “Let my son live,” he whispers. “Please let him live.” He closes his eyes, begging for the first time in his life. “I’ll do anything. Anything. I’ll be miserable. I’ll let him hate me. I’ll let the pack hate me. I’ll lose my own life if he just lives. Let my son live. Please. Please don’t…don’t let him get sick.”  
There’s a pause in the storm, the wind calming only a moment before it all roars back to life, hurtling through the trees and knocking dirt and pebbles lose from the rocky face of the mountain.  
“Please,” Jongin says again. “Don’t let him catch scratch fever.”  
The climb down to the grass and the walk home is slow and shaky, Jongin’s hand and legs still wobbling too much for him to walk in a straight line. He’s stopped crying by the time he reaches the cabin, and Kyungsoo is waiting for him with open arms and a fire crackling in the pit when he returns.  
“Are you calm?” Kyungsoo whispers, lips against Jongin’s temple.  
“It’s storming,” Jongin answers. Kyungsoo kisses his cheekbone.  
“Outside or inside?” he asks. Jongin has no response to that.  
“Where is Sanghun?”  
“Asleep,” Kyungsoo tells him. “In our room. Dry off first. I’ll wait for you.”  
When Jongin crawls under the furs, warm and dry, he curls himself against Kyungsoo’s back, watching over his mate’s shoulder as their son sleeps against Kyungsoo’s stomach. There’s no rash on his neck, and there’s no rattle to his breathing. He still smells like sorrel. The smell is a haze in Jongin’s mind, dragging him down to sleep.  
A few days pass, and no rash appears on Sanghun’s skin. His voice is just as loud as it ever was, his smiles just as bright. His eyes remain clear, and his appetite doesn’t falter. It’s going to be okay, Jongin wants to believe. Kyungsoo keeps telling him that, reminding him that nothing is wrong. Still, when Jongin’s parents stop by with his grandmother, Jongin doesn’t miss the quick prayer his grandmother murmurs over his son. The haunted look in her eyes in the same one Jongin has worn ever since he saw Seongchan’s rash. He doesn’t see any silver in his grandmother’s eyes, and he clings to that, calling her paranoid.  
“She’s old,” Kyungsoo reminds him. “She was going to be head priestess, but she’s not. And head priestess hasn’t said anything about storms. Don’t worry so much.”  
“I can’t help it,” Jongin says. “Once it’s been a week and nothing has happened, I’ll relax, but until then…” Kyungsoo just holds Jongin’s hand, silent comfort. Jongin squeezes Kyungsoo’s fingers. He wishes he could have some of Kyungsoo’s ability to hold onto tranquility. “Thank you.”  
Fear is a force with which to be reckoned, but Jongin won’t be fooled. His grandmother has told him too much about storms, and his life has taught him too much about the moon goddess. Jongin’s fear persists because everything is calm.  
~*~  
“I don’t think I’ve heard that boy even murmur in his sleep,” Byulhee comments, glancing over towards where Sanghun is sleeping cradled in furs. The firelight in his parents’ cabin glances off the fox fur, ruffled by Sanghun’s breathing. “He must really be Leader’s son too.” Sungkeun nudges her, and Byulhee laughs, going back to shredding rabbit meat with her claws.  
“He’s been quiet today,” Kyungsoo says, helping Jongin skin another rabbit, “but he probably just tired himself out last night. He wouldn’t stop talking.” Byulhee snorts.  
“Talking?” she repeats. “Or blubbering?”  
Sungkeun, taking the chunks of rabbit meat from the pile in front of Byulhee and skewering them, adds, “Crying, more like.” Kyungsoo shrugs and offers Jongin’s mother a sheepish smile.  
“Well…” he says, and that’s answer enough. Byulhee bursts out laughing, her nails sharp and teasing on the back of Jongin’s neck. He grimaces at the feel of the grizzle on her fingers.  
“Definitely still your pup, Second,” she says. Pride swells in Jongin’s chest as he shrugs his mother’s hand away. He looks over at Sanghun, looking as small and handsome as ever in his fox furs. That sleeping pup is his son. On his other side, Kyungsoo squeezes Jongin’s knee. Jongin swears he can feel Kyungsoo’s pride through the warmth of his fingers.  
“I think Second has been quieter lately too,” Kyungsoo says. “Staying up with Sanghun. I hear him talking to the kid every night.” His expression is fond.  
“He hasn’t been talking nearly as much,” Sungkeun agrees. “The only time this house is loud is when you’re around, son. Say something!”  
“Something,” Jongin remarks dryly. Sungkeun laughs.  
“Such tasteless humor!” he mocks. “You really are a parent now.” He lifts one skewer from in front of him and places it over the fire.  
“Stays up just staring at his pup?” Kyungsoo teases. “Definitely a parent.”  
“Don’t think I didn’t hear you talking to him before he was born,” Jongin retorts. He lowers his voice, imitating his mate. “Your dad is sleeping, but he loves you. I love you too.” Kyungsoo’s ears and neck are bright red, darkening the color of his claim marks.  
“Second,” he hisses, lunging towards Jongin with a playfully menacing grin.  
“Shit,” Jongin gasps, throwing himself backwards and to his feet. He shoves the rabbit he’d been skinning at Kyungsoo, and it smacks him in the face. Jongin trips with how hard he’s laughing as he scrambles to get away, and Kyungsoo’s arms wrap around his middle. They both crash to the ground. Only a few arm lengths away, Jongin’s parents howl with laughter. Sanghun wakes from his nap, alerting them of his awakening with his whimpering. Kyungsoo squeezes Jongin’s side, and Jongin jerks, trying to knee Kyungsoo in the stomach to get him off of him.  
“Your pops did the same thing when I was pregnant with you,” Byulhee wheezes. Jongin’s knee finds Kyungsoo’s gut, and he wheezes too. “I guess it’s just a father thing.”  
“It’s lame,” Jongin says to Kyungsoo even as his heart feels warm with affection. He scrambles out of Kyungsoo’s hold before the alpha wolf can pinch his side again.  
“There’s the noise I was missing,” Sungkeun whispers loudly to Jongin’s mother. Byulhee just shrugs.  
“He’s never been able to not be a disturbance for more than a few blinks of the eye,” she whispers back just as loudly. Jongin rolls his eyes, scooping his child into his arms.  
“Sh, puppy, shh,” he murmurs, kissing the top of Sanghun’s head. “We’re being too loud, aren’t we?” He hums, stroking Sanghun’s cheek.  
“You’re going to spoil that boy rotten,” Byulhee comments. She grabs the last skewer from her mate and fits the last few pieces of rabbit meat on it.  
“I plan to,” Jongin returns. He takes on a tone much like his grandmother used to use to tell him stories. “He’s going to be the most-loved pup across all the territories.” Sanghun sniffles, some of the fox fur tickling his lips. The beginning of a cry sticks at the back of his throat, and Jongin coos at him, brushing the fur away from his face and neck. A light pink mark on the baby’s skin catches Jongin’s eye.  
“Imagine if I had raised you like that,” Byulhee snorts. “This pack would definitely be different with a Second like that-”  
“Leader,” Jongin interrupts his mother, looking up at his mate. “Come look at this.” Byulhee quiets, and Sungkeun gets to his feet, standing as Kyungsoo walks over to where Jongin stands. “Here.” Jongin points at the faint mark on Sanghun’s skin.  
“What are you…no.” Kyungsoo’s question turns to defiant statement when he sees the beginnings of a rash. “We’ll take him for another bath,” he states. “He’s not-”  
“Is everything okay?” Sungkeun asks, and Jongin looks up to meet his father’s eyes.  
“A pup came to visit us in our cabin only four days ago,” he explains. “He had scratch fever, and I’ve been watching Sanghun for any signs, and-”  
“Let me see,” Sungkeun requests, holding out his arms. Jongin offers no protest, passing Sanghun to the pup’s grandmother. He pulls the fox fur back and points at the spot.  
“Am I seeing something or is that really… is that a rash?” Jongin asks. He reaches behind him, grabbing blindly for Kyungsoo’s hand to hold.  
“Byulhee,” Sungkeun says. “Come look at this. Remember when Taehyung…?”  
“Yes,” Byulhee murmurs, getting to her feet. She takes Jongin’s place. “His rash was all mottled. But he was maybe five sun cycles when he had it. The rash lasted longer than the sickness.” She tugs open the fox furs, and sure enough, the pink on Sanghun’s neck spreads down his shoulders. She frowns. “Take him to the medicine hut,” she instructs. “You’ve already been keeping an eye on him, and the herb bath they give should stop the infection from spreading much further.”  
Jongin’s heart thuds once. His stomach rests in the soles of his feet. He looks at his mother’s fingers on Sanghun’s irritated skin, the baby sniffling, nose wrinkled. He looks at Kyungsoo.  
“Let’s go now,” Kyungsoo murmurs. Jongin nods dimly.  
“We’ll bring some of the rabbit to your cabin,” Byulhee promises. “But take care of my grandson first.”  
“Thanks, Ma.” Jongin takes Sanghun from his father’s arms, adjusting the fox fur around him.  
“It’s just scratch fever,” Byulhee tells him. “Don’t worry too much. It’s not serious.” But Jongin remember’s Wheein’s words the first time they brought Sanghun to the medicine hut, remembers the dark expression in her eyes set onto a congenially smiling face. He and Kyungsoo hurry from Jongin’s family’s home to the medicine hut, dashing through the light drizzle of rain.  
Jongin hates the rainy season. It brings colds and floods and reminders that he and everyone around him are nothing but playthings for the moon goddess and the whims of nature’s cruelty.  
“Wheein!” Kyungsoo calls out. It takes only a moment for the priestess to appear, and her eyes go wide. Her mouth turns down in a frown.  
“Bring him here,” she orders, turning and hurrying deeper into the medicine hut towards the same room she had taken them to only a few days prior. This time, she sings as she bathes Sanghun, her voice clear and pretty, begging the moon goddess for mercy. Hyejin comes in humming along, and Wheein breaks in her song long enough to tell Hyejin what’s going on. Hyejin is already moving to gather more herbs the moment she sees Sanghun, frowning at the rash on his neck and shoulders.  
“Go get Yongsun too,” Wheein requests. “She’s the best at singing favor from the moon.” Hyejin nods, scurrying from the room to find her fellow priestess. Jongin stands holding tightly to Kyungsoo’s hand, watching Wheein scoop water over Sanghun’s head, carefully avoiding his eyes. Pits of herbs stick to his skin, and Hyejin returns with Yongsun and Byulyi to brush the herbs away with gentle fingers and gentler voices.  
When Yongsun sings over him, an old hymn that Jongin hasn’t heard since the early days of training for the tournament, familiar to him in his grandmother’s voice, Jongin can almost find his faith in the moon goddess again.  
Hyejin lifts Sanghun from the bath when the hymn of prayer ends, and Byulyi dries him. Wheein rubs a salve over his shoulders, its scent mild and soothing.  
“The infection has only just started to show effects, it seems,” Yongsun says. “Honestly, this rash should be clear by tomorrow since you came so early.” She grasps Jongin’s upper arm, offering him an encouraging smile. “You’re a good parent, Second. Your son is lucky to have you.” She returns to helping the other priestesses with preparing herbs for Jongin to take home with him to keep Sanghun healthy. “He’s going to be fine.” Her words when Kyungsoo and Jongin leave with their son sound over and over again in Jongin’s mind. “The moon goddess owes you. You’ve kept so many of us safe and saved others from another pack. Your son is safe with you and safe with her.”  
Jongin wants those words to comfort him, wants to believe them. He doesn’t. He can’t when Sanghun’s shoulders are red with infection. During the walk back to the cabin, Sanghun begins crying. His wails grow louder and louder even when Jongin rocks him gently and Kyungsoo’s allows the pup to hold his fingers, the two of them settled on their fur pallet in the cabin.  
“I love you, puppy,” Kyungsoo whispers, kissing his son's forehead. The wind swishes around the cabin walls, the air heavy with the threat of rain. “Don’t cry, hm?” Kyungsoo keeps talking to Sanghun, half of his sentences little murmured sounds instead of actual words. Jongin watches his son’s crying face, his skin red with his sobs. He bites his bottom lip.  
“Don’t cry,” Kyungsoo says again, and it takes a moment before Jongin realizes that Kyungsoo is no longer talking to Sanghun but to Jongin himself. Kyungsoo brushes a tear from Jongin’s cheek. “He’s okay, Jongin.” Sanghun finally begins to quiet, his eyes drooping shut and harsh cries interspersed with sniffled whimpers. He stops when he’s made himself too tired to keep going. “He’s sleeping.”  
Jongin doesn’t respond, unable to tear his gaze away from Sanghun’s face as his pallor returns to normal. The skin on his shoulders already seems less irritated.  
“He’s sleeping, Jongin,” Kyungsoo repeats. “You should sleep too.”  
“Yeah,” Jongin says. His own voice sounds distant in his ears. His relief, he hopes, is not premature. His vision blurs, his eyes slipping closed. “You too.” Kyungsoo hums, his fingers drumming along Jongin’s side, the rhythm of his touch luring Jongin to sleep.  
Everything is going to be okay, echoes in Jongin’s dreams, the words like an anthem lit by silver moonlight. Jongin’s heart pounds. Dreams turns to nightmares far too easily.  
~*~  
Jongin wakes to silence. The wind is still outside, the patter of the rain frozen. Kyungsoo’s fingers are clenched around the blankets, holding his breath in his dreams. Are they dreams or nightmares, Jongin wants to know. Between them, wrapped in furs, Sanghun’s skin is just a little too pale, a little too still.  
Jongin wakes to silence, and that’s how he knows his pleas have fallen on deaf ears. That’s how he knows his dreams were nightmares and all the hymns in the world cannot beseech a cruel goddess. The first sound that shatters the silence is Kyungsoo’s exhale; the second is Jongin’s heart shattering in his chest.  
He brings his fingers to his son’s neck, begging in his mind for there to be a flutter under his touch even though it’s futile. There’s nothing. There will always be nothing. For Jongin, it’s always a game of loss.  
Jongin screams.  
Kyungsoo startles awake, grabbing for Jongin, reaching for his shoulders, and still Jongin screams. There are no words to the sound, no pleading and no defiance of the truth. Raw grief filters from Jongin’s lungs and shatters the silence hanging over his dead son.  
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo hisses, frantic, fangs showing. “You’re going to wake-” Jongin pulls his son’s body into his arms, clutching him to him, eyes open but unseeing as he screams again. Sanghun is so tiny, so cold and unfeeling. He was supposed to be okay; they all had promised Jongin that he would be okay.  
Jongin should have known better.  
“Jongin!” Kyungsoo shouts, hands moving from Jongin’s shoulders to wrap around him.  
“Let go of me!” Jongin roars. He jerks out of Kyungsoo’s holds, scrambling to his feet, still pressing his son’s body to his chest. “Sanghun,” he gasps out, shaking. Breathing is impossible when his body feels turned inside out, when his blood is frozen in his veins. “Sanghun, my baby. My baby, my baby, no, no, no no no nononono.” Jongin’s knees buckle under him. He rocks forward, the ground under him unsteady, teetering. “No!”  
Kyungsoo doesn’t move, his face like stone. Jongin screams again. The whole pack can hear him; he has no doubt. He doesn’t care. If the pack can hear him, then the moon goddess can too. She should hear him. She should hear his grief and suffer the sound of it, but her suffering won’t equal even a small taste of Jongin’s.  
“Sanghun,” Jongin cries again and again between his pained screams. “Sanghun, my baby boy…” His voice cracks, and his tears are hot on his face. Jongin feels cold, frozen like his son’s body.  
“Sanghun,” Kyungsoo breathes amidst Jongin’s crying. He stumbles forward, falling to his knees in front of Jongin. His hands shake as he brings them up to cradle Sanghun’s head. “My son.” He inhales, his breath catching in his throat. “My son.” His mouth opens, and Jongin can see his mouth open, can feel the strength of his pain echoing in his own body, but he can’t hear him. His ears ring with his baby’s silence, and Kyungsoo’s screams reverberate against his own.  
“Fuck you,” he’s shouting, over and over again, face upturned towards the roof. The faint silver of the moonlight streaming in through the cabin walls crosses his face. Kyungsoo’s fangs are still sharp. “Fuck you, goddess. He was only one moon! A child!” He’s quiet for a long moment, pulling Jongin into his arms, their second lost child held securely between them.  
“Sanghun, my baby,” Jongin cries. “My baby, Kyungsoo. He’s my son! He can’t- he can’t- I can’t-” Jongin doesn’t manage to finish any of his sentences, and Kyungsoo doesn’t offer any words either. “I can’t breathe.”  
Maybe it’s only moments later, and maybe it’s closer to dawn when the door to the cabin is slammed open, Seungwan and Chanyeol barging inside, fangs and claws showing. It’s like Jongin isn’t inside his own body, watching from elsewhere as Seungwan takes stock of the situation, as Chanyeol clasps his hand over his mouth. It with cotton in his ears that Jongin hears Seungwan’s howl of mourning rise up, and the response of the pack seems to be coming from leagues away. They all sing the same song of loss, but none of them howl with the black grief that shreds Jongin’s heart.  
When the sun rises, the whole pack knows of Sanghun’s death. When the sun rises, Jongin’s grandmother kneels to take his baby’s body from him, whispering that the storm has come. When the sun rises, Jongin is still crying, his voice lost and his tears bloody. When the sun rises, Kyungsoo glares at it, cursing at it, telling it not to shine.  
There’s no reason for the sun to ever shine anymore. Sanghun is dead, and with him, Jongin’s will to face the coming days, Jongin’s will to see the storm pass. When the sun rises, Jongin closes his eyes and doesn’t see it.  
~*~  
“Show, glow, pretty moon. Sing your lullaby.  
Jongin’s feet drag behind him, and he stumbles along with the rest of the pack. Sharp stones cut his feet, but he can’t feel the pain of it through the numbness in his body and the pain in his heart.  
“Day will end. I’ll see you soon.”  
Jongin’s grandmother’s voice, the song rough through her tears, is the only thing keeping him from walking off the edges of the cliffs. Her singing guides him up the mountains. Jongin can look at nothing but the white linen in her hands, the cloth bundled tightly around the dead pup Jongin calls his son.  
“After the sun runs from the sky.”  
The glare of the sun off the rocks is blinding. Jongin’s eyes burn with the intensity of it, yet he does not look away from his baby cradled in his grandmother’s arms. On either side of her in two lines, flanking Jongin as well, priests walk with torches lit, the flames reeking of burning juniper. Beside Jongin, his eyes just as red and swollen, Kyungsoo walks with his hands curled into fists at his side. He would fight death itself if he could; Jongin would too.  
“La la la la hm, so sings the moon.”  
The hike to the pack’s burial grounds is long and winding. The pack meanders behind their leaders who follow, dazed, behind the wolf who could have been head priestess. Just behind Jongin’s grandmother, the head priestess walks with her head bowed, whispering along to Jongin’s grandmother's song. Yerim hobbles beside her, her tears much more open, her crying uninhibited. Jongin sees all of their brokenness, but they can heal. they can be repaired. Jongin is ruined.  
“La la la la hm, moon song she sings for you.  
The words of the song are familiar. They're nice. They bring glory to the moon goddess. Jongin wishes everything would stop. There is no glory and honor in him for a goddess who has taken not one but two children from him.  
The rocky path evens into a plateau, the wind blows ash and dirt across the ground. The grit stings Jongin’s skin. Kyungsoo’s fingers tap against his wrist, alerting Jongin to his grandmother gesturing for him to move over towards the blackened earth at the edge of the plateau. In silence, the priests move aside for the pack to walk forward. Seungwan comes up first, setting firewood against the bones of the last funeral pyre.  
“Goodbye,” she whispers. Jongdae is next, followed by the rest of the pack. Most of them say nothing; some of them whisper prayers. None of them feel what Jongin feels. Some wolves place their wood offering and leave; some return to stand with the pack, to offer support for their Leader and Second. The last people to place firewood are Jongin’s parents. Byulhee falls into Sungkeun’s arms as soon as they’ve finished. Her shoulders shake with silent sobs. The quiet is deafening.  
“Goddess,” Jongin’s grandmother says, head bowed in prayer. “Your servant, Gayoung, calls out to ask you watch Sanghun as he walks with the stars.” Her eyes are silver; hate boils in Jongin’s stomach. Jongin’s grandmother walks forward, placing Sanghun’s corpse, the last piece of the construction of the funeral pyre, on top. “Sweet puppy,” she whispers just loud enough for Jongin to hear, “Keep watch over your parents.” Jongin’s grandmother steps back, falling into line beside Jongin’s parents.  
The head priestess takes her place, holding up her hands to the sky. The wind blows her shawl clear away from her back, deep scars in specific patterns carved into her skin. Soon, those scars will be drawn onto Yerim’s back instead. There are no words to the ceremony, only the haunting slide of the head priestess’ singing voice. Hyejin, her face streaked with tears, offers her torch to Jongin and Kyungsoo.  
Jongin shakes his head. “No,” he whispers under his breath. Kyungsoo wraps his arm around Jongin’s waist and takes his hand. It’s not of his own volition that Jongin takes the torch, and it’s not his strength that holds it. To the pack, however, it appears as if Leader and Second, together, have lowered the torch and lit the funeral pyre. The roar of the fire starting covers Jongin’s whimper of pain. Kyungsoo releases Jongin’s hand and the torch and draws Jongin back against him, stepping back from the fire. Jongin can’t look away from the flames, watching them spread and burn through any dream that Sanghun is still alive.  
The priests, one by one, lower their torches to the base of the pyre and raise their voices too. The sound stretches beyond the edges of the plateau and bounces off the sky. The priests believe they’re singing Sanghun’s soul on its way to the stars, but Jongin can see it stuck in the flames, burning along with his body.  
“Goddess, goddess, goddess,” Jongin’s grandmother murmurs over and over again. “Oh, goddess.”  
The flames crack over and over again, ringing in Jongin’s ears until the sound seems to be a part of the song. It all flows together along with his breathing, and his eyes burn with tears. His body aches, consumed by pain. It would be so easy to step into the flames with his son, so burn to ash. Surely that can’t hurt worse than this.  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo whispers beside him. His voice is broken, the fire glancing off the tears on his cheeks. “Please, don’t move.” He catches Jongin’s eye. “Don’t even think about it.” He takes Jongin’s hand again, pulling it down from being outstretched towards the pyre, and Jongin hadn’t even noticed he’d moved.  
“It hurts,” Jongin says. He grips Kyungsoo’s hand, unable to let go. He cracks again, pressing his face against Kyungsoo’s hand and crying. Faint crescents show on Kyungsoo’s wrist from Jongin’s nails, but Kyungsoo doesn’t seem pained by it. The pain of loss spreads over his skin as much as it does Jongin’s, he’s sure.  
“I know,” Kyungsoo agrees. He rests his forehead against the top of Jongin’s head. His tears wet Jongin’s hair. Jongin wonders if Kyungsoo’s tears burn his eyes as much as Jongin’s do.  
The fire continues, burning until the majority of the pack has left and returned to the glade, burning until the priests have stopped singing, burning until the ashes of the firewood and ashes of the linens cannot be distinguished from the ashes of the body of Jongin’s son. The sun sinks, the sky orange and red, bleeding.  
“The moon rises,” the head priestess announces. “The moon goddess comes to take a lost soul into her arms and place him with the stars to walk forever.” She lowers her hands then. She pivots and faces Kyungsoo. “I’m sorry,” she says. She bows to both of them, and it’s the first apology, the first act of sincere emotion, that Jongin has ever felt from the head priestess. She leaves, and the priests follow her.  
“Second,” Jongin’s mother murmurs gently. “My son.” Her voice is raw from crying. Slowly, Jongin removes himself from Kyungsoo’s arms. His mother opens hers for him, his father right behind her, and Jongin goes, letting his parents hold him.  
“I’m sorry, son,” Sungkeun whispers. “I can’t… I don’t want to know how this feels. But I’m sorry.”  
“Thanks, Pops,” Jongin forces himself to say. His mother’s hands wipe at his cheeks. “Ma…” He sobs again, crouched to cry against his mother’s neck. She pets his hair and his back, letting him cry.  
“Just cry, baby,” she soothes. “Just cry, and come be Second when you’re ready.” Jongin nods because there’s nothing else he can do. He can feel Kyungsoo’s hand on the small of his back, and Jongin reaches back for him, tangling their fingers together. It doesn’t make the pain better, but it’s better than feeling alone.  
“Second,” Jongin’s grandmother says. Jongin looks up from his mother’s comfort, takes in the forlorn expression on his grandmother’s face. “The goddess-” Jongin can’t stop himself from flinching.  
“Mom,” Byulhee interrupts. “Don’t say anything. Please.”  
Jongin hadn’t realized exactly how empty he would feel without his family around him, but as they step back, saying their goodbyes and words of encouragement, Jongin feels like the turbulent wind makes up his insides. His stomach heaves, and Kyungsoo’s arm around him is the only thing keeping him steady. The breeze tosses the ashes of Jongin’s lost child across the mountain range.  
“Leader,” speaks a small voice from behind them, the tone sad and afraid. “Second?” Jongin takes a deep breath, wiping at his face. He turns.  
“Second,” Minseok speaks, his hand on Seongchan’s shoulder, Changmin holding his other hand. Seongchan sniffles. “I’m sorry for…” He waves his hand in the direction of the still burning funeral pyre.  
“Where is puppy?” Seongchan asks, looking between Kyungsoo and Jongin. Jongin closes his eyes.  
“He went on a walk,” Minseok answers quickly. “We talked about this, baby.”  
“But...but…” Seongchan says, and wrings his hands. “I...I thought we were on a walk too. I thought puppy would be here!” He blubbers a bit. The wind tugs the sleeves of his shirt, showing the fading rash of his scratch fever. Sadness is so easily overcome with rage.  
He would be if not for you, Jongin thinks, unbidden. Kyungsoo’s fingers are suddenly claws in his skin, and Jongin jerks, eyes wide.  
“Second,” Kyungsoo hisses. Over his own grief, anger and disappointment crease his features, and Jongin realizes a second too late that he had spoken out loud.  
“But it’s true,” he hears himself saying, and no, that’s not what he wants to say. That’s not what he’s supposed to say. Minseok’s shoulders are straight, his grip on Seongchan’s shoulder a tad too tight. Standing just behind him, Changmin is equally tense, his fury shown in his white-knuckled grip on Minseok’s hand, his nails lengthened into claws.  
“Watch your mouth,” Kyungsoo snaps. Seongchan jumps.  
“I…” Seongchan starts, words barely intelligible around the beginning of terrified sobs. “I didn’t lose puppy! I- I didn’t-”  
“Shh, pup, shh,” Kyungsoo soothes. His hands leave Jongin’s body, and Jongin feels cold. “Second is just upset right now. He misses puppy too.” Kyungsoo lowers himself to his knees, posture relaxed, tremors of his own tears held at bay. He cups Seongchan’s cheek and ruffles his hair. Even with the boy’s ingrained fear of Alphas, he calms considerably, nodding along with Kyungsoo’s words.  
“I miss him too,” he says.  
“He’s on a walk,” Kyungsoo continues. “Just in the stars. He can see you from here. He wants you to smile.” Jongin hates this; he hates watching this. It’s awful to see exactly how good of a father Kyungsoo would be with a growing pup. It’s horrible to remember how good he was with Sanghun, how much he loved that pup.  
“I will,” Seongchan promises. “I’ll do my best.” He offers a shaking smile with tearing eyes, and Kyungsoo pulls him into a hug, patting his back.  
“Good boy,” he praises. He stands, looking at Minseok and Changmin. “Take him home. I don’t think we’re ready to really talk to anyone today.”  
“It’s understandable,” Changmin says, but his frown is evident in his voice. Jongin hangs his head so he doesn’t have to see Minseok’s sadness. Even sun cycles removed from Minseok’s care, Jongin still doesn’t want to upset his former mentor, and blaming Minseok’s adopted son for his own son’s death accomplished exactly that. “I’m sorry again,” Changmin says. “We’re all sorry.” He dips his head. “Strength be with you, Second. Leader.”  
“And wisdom,” Minseok adds, scooping Seongchan up into his arms. The pup buries his face against Minseok’s neck, clutching at his shirt. Minseok’s words are kind, but the way he speaks them is not. Jongin winces. The three of them leave, Changmin speaking soflty to Minseok as they head down the mountain, quieting his anger. But Jongin cannot do that for Kyungsoo right now, regret and sorrow dug too deeply into his gut.  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo speaks the moment they’re alone, “I know it hurts. It really fucking hurts, but you can’t - you can’t - blame a pup for Sanghun. It wasn’t… It’s not anyone’s fault.”  
“I know,” Jongin says. He does know. He just doesn’t believe it in his heart. His heart is too shattered to believe in anything but loss. “I know, but it’s easier to just- if he hadn’t- if he’d never- Sanghun would still-” Jongin inhales and holds his breath. The ash and dirt in the air dry his tongue. He shakes. “I want to kick him out of the pack. I want to blame him. And I- I’m so- I’m furious. This isn’t- It’s not fair!” He’s screaming now, tears streaming down his cheeks again, salt water mixed with blood.  
“He’s not leaving the pack,” Kyungsoo states. “You don’t want him to leave. You’re just upset.”  
“Upset?” Jongin rages. “I’m not fucking upset. I’m heartbroken. I’m so broken. Don’t act like you aren’t!”  
“I am,” Kyungsoo agrees. “That’s my son’s body we just watched burn! Of course I’m fucking broken. But I’m not about to blame a child for the death of another. Seongchan wasn’t at fault, Jongin.”  
“I’m not saying he was! I was just… talking. I just- I don’t- fuck.” Jongin’s world spins. All he can smell is ash and dying fire. His knees buckle, and he crashes to the ground on hands and knees. He screams into the dirt. “Two pups!” Jongin wails. “Two of my children! What the fuck did I even fucking do to- my pups didn’t deserve this!” He digs his fingers into the rocky ground, doesn’t feel the pain of his nails splitting on the hard earth.  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, kneeling in front of him. He reaches for him, and Jongin flinches, speaking before he’s really registered the words.  
“Don’t touch me,” he hisses.  
Kyungsoo’s hand pauses, outstretched. “Being alone isn’t going to help,” he whispers. “This is your defense, isolating yourself. You always do this. Whenever you’re afraid or sad or angry, you run.” Kyungsoo’s shoulders shake, and Jongin doesn’t want to see him cry anymore. “You never consider that maybe staying here is better than running away.”  
That’s the last thing Jongin wants to hear. He doesn’t want to think about it. He needs to be away from this. He has to run. “What does it fucking matter?” Jongin spits. “My pups are dead. I’m as good as alone anyway.”  
“Do I not exist?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin has never heard him sound so small.  
He freezes. “You-”  
“You’re not alone, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says in the same tiny whisper. “I’m here. I’ve always been here.” It’s meant to be comfort, but the pain of loss and the pain of fear collide between the shattered shards of Jongin’s heart. He needs to go. He needs to be alone.  
“I have to go,” Jongin mutters, looking around wildly. “I have to-”  
Kyungsoo sighs. “Just go,” he says. “But when you don’t find what you’re looking for, come back. Because it’s right here.” He could mean himself; he could mean the pack. He could be talking about Jongin’s family; he could be talking about Jongin’s friends. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Sanghun is gone, and Jongin would give anything to see him again.  
He runs.  
He bursts through his clothes, taking his wolf form and sprinting down the trail from the plateau. He sets his eyes on the mountaintops he can see in the dim light of the last of the sunset and the glow of the moon and runs. He runs until he can’t breathe, until he’s not sure if he’s even in his pack’s territory anymore. He runs until his thoughts are spinning too much from lack of air for him to feel the pain that comes with them. His paws ache, and his muscles are sore.  
He keeps going. He can still remember Sanghun’s weight in his arms, can still remember how he sounds when he cries, when he laughs. He doesn’t want to remember; it’s easier to know nothing. So Jongin runs until his legs give out under him and he skids and trips into an abandoned bear den on this mountain he’s never seen before. He’s cold. He’s alone. His arms are empty, and no one is holding him.  
Isn’t this what he said he wanted? Nothingness?  
Before Jongin can answer that question, exhaustion overtakes him and blackness curls around the edges of his vision. He throws back his head and howls. His body sways, and when he collapses, he stays.  
~*~  
The rocks and sand of the mountains cut through the pads of Jongin’s paws and the hare he drags back to the cave is tough and stringy, more suited for harsh terrain than the plush grasses of the forest. He’d only barely managed to catch it, his nights of crying having drained the little energy he had after running all the way here. The flavor varies only a little from the fat rabbits Jongin is accustomed to, but it is enough to sate his hunger. A rabbit, however, can do nothing to quench his thirst. He’s away from his territory, away from the land he knows.  
The roar of the river calls to him, racing along the foothills of this mountain through the valley in his pack’s lands. As a pup, Jongin spent so much time running along the river banks. That’s the river where he and Kyungsoo fought. That’s the river where Jongin realized he didn’t want to be without Kyungsoo.  
So why, he asks himself, is he here on the edges of the elder packs’ lands instead of at home with his pack? Despite his own claims made in moments of crushing grief, Jongin is not made to be a lone wolf. Jongin is made to be with his pack, with his family. He took far too long to realize it, but Kyungsoo is his family. Kyungsoo is his family, and his family is hurting while Jongin runs from his own pain.  
It would be easy, and it would be smart, to just climb down the side of this mountain and return to him home. However, two days away from pack, alone, have left Jongin’s head spinning with exhaustion. Two days lost in the mountains, staring out towards the territory he has lived in his whole life have shaken Jongin’s strength, and he’s not sure he can make it home.  
Two days is not a great expanse of time, but it’s enough to remind Jongin that despite his grief, his son doesn’t need him anymore. His pack needs him. His family needs him.  
Kyungsoo needs him.  
He sits at the mouth of the abandoned bear den with the carcass of the hare lying abandoned by his side. His claws scratch on the pebbles as he extends and retracts them. He needs to go home; he’s ready to go home. His body just won’t cooperate.  
Jongin takes in a deep breath, and the sun sears his vision as he throws his head back and howls. The air vibrates with the sound, the mountain seeming to tremble with it. Jongin sings of his home, of his pain, of his loss. He hopes it carries, hopes his pack hears him even from leagues away. His howl is higher than he has ever howled for his pack, signalling his location.  
He trembles, and his voice falters and leaves. He breathes in again, but his vision swims. He falls to the side, breathing hard and hoping that soon his strength will come back. Willpower can accomplish a lot, but it can’t overcome a body that refuses to move. The sun dances across the horizon, and Jongin slips away, hoping he’ll open his eyes to the glade.  
When Jongin does wake again, it’s dark, only a few stars managing to peek through the clouds. He can’t see the moon at all, her face hidden in shame. At least, that’s what Jongin hopes.  
Lastly, he notes that it’s raining, fat drops of water falling on his paws and nose, the rest of his body protected from the downpour by the cave. Water. Jongin wags his tail. Water runs from the sky and aids in the roar of the river, and the cracks in the mountainside catch it all, creating a path of veins for Jongin to follow.  
He’s still so tired, but the air is cooler, cleansing. Any trail from Jongin’s sprint from the funeral plateau to here will be washed away with the rain, leaving Jongin stranded with no connection back to his pack. Now is the time to move. Jongin’s legs shake, and his paws skid and slip. He falls more than once, scraping his shoulders and belly. He presses on, pushing himself to keep going, to work through the blurring of his vision. He stops to try to drink water from the cracks in the earth, anything to keep the dehydration from besting him.  
Jongin isn’t walking in straight lines anymore, pacing back and forth accidentally as he tries to make his way down the mountainside. Some places are too steep to climb down, and Jongin howls at every one, roaring his frustration. He slips down one, and his paw twists painfully underneath him. He howls again.  
The rain falls in earnest, and Jongin stops just as the trees and the grass welcome him to the beginnings of the forest from the dry sides of the mountain. The mud is soothing on his cracked paws, and Jongin just wants to rest.  
He could have made this journey with Kyungsoo by his side, but alone it’s too much to face.  
He sways on his paws. He’s almost there.  
Brown fur prances from the thick of the woods, the particular shade unmistakeable as well as the graceful lope of the wolf’s gait. Taemin has his nose pressed to the ground, and he looks up when he clears the trees. He’s always been an outstanding tracker, and despite the rain, he’s made it this far. Jongin has no doubt he would have climbed all the way up the side of the mountain and found him passed out in the abandoned bear den if Jongin hadn’t been able to make himself move.  
He whines, and Taemin wags his tail, trotting up to Jongin and licking his neck and his ears. He licks the wounds on Jongin’s shoulders, and bows to him. He whines and points his nose in the direction of the glade. Jongin shakes his head, still swaying. His paws are heavy, and he lifts one only for it to fall right back where it had been before. Taemin whimpers, but his eyes are set and determined. He wants to bring Jongin home, and Jongin is going to let him because he wants to be home just as much.  
Taemin noses along Jongin’s flank, helping him up to his paws and moving immediately to stand at his side. Although his wolf form isn’t quite as broad as Jongin’s, he’s sturdy, a solid support for Jongin to lean against. He turns his head and pushes his nose against Jongin’s scruff, encouraging him to move.  
It’s slow going, but with Taemin there, offering his own strength to Jongin, Jongin’s vision is a little more steady. His paws are quite as heavy. He’s going home.  
Taemin doesn’t falter even once as they walk, his steps small but sure, giving Jongin time to carry most of his own weight. They cross through the tiny break in the trees where Jongin had hunted during the tournament, and Jongin sees Kyungsoo’s dark fur wandering through the trees in the cover of night before Kyungsoo sees him.  
Jongin barks, and Kyungsoo turns, his ears perking up. Jongin’s tongue lolls out of the side of his mouth. Kyungsoo’s fur melts into his skin, and he stands on two feet, his human expression a mixture of relief and worry.  
“Second!” Kyungsoo calls out, hurrying forward. Jongin pushes away from Taemin’s shoulder, stumbling forward towards Kyungsoo, forcing his body to shift to human form as he goes. He forgets to watch for tree roots, and his toes catch on one. He trips, and he’s in free fall for only a moment before Kyungsoo is there, catching him. “Second,” Kyungsoo breathes, holding Jongin close to him, kneeling on the ground. “I wasn’t sure you- I thought-”  
“I came home,” Jongin whispers. His voice is dry and cracks from the lack of use. “I thought I wouldn’t make it, but Taemin… I’m home.”  
Kyungsoo looks up at Taemin, still standing in wolf form. “Thank you,” he says. The sincerity of his words cannot be doubted. “Tell everyone out looking that Second has come home.” His grip on Jongin tightens, and Jongin is so glad he left the bear cave. This is where he belongs.  
Taemin’s ears press back and he dips his head in submission. He runs off, sniffing the air. He howls a location song, calling the search party to him.  
Kyungsoo strokes his fingers along Jongin’s side. “You’re back,” he murmurs, quiet, as if speaking the words aloud with make them untrue.  
“I don’t know why I left,” Jongin admits, struggling to sit up and face Kyungsoo properly. “I was so sad, and I couldn’t think. Still, I should have- I should have stayed here. With you.” Kyungsoo bends down and kisses Jongin’s forehead.  
“As long as you’re okay,” he says. He kisses the top of Jongin’s head and rests his forehead there, breathing in. “I missed you.” He says the words so low that Jongin’s unsure he was supposed to hear them. He grabs for Kyungsoo’s hand.  
“I missed you too,” he says. “I missed the pack. I missed home.” He can feel Kyungsoo’s smile buried in his hair, and he lets the moment extend, long and quiet. The rain chills his bare skin, but Kyungsoo is warm.  
“Let’s go home,” Kyungsoo says.  
“I don’t think my legs will let me,” Jongin admits, only partly joking. Kyungsoo snorts.  
“Get on my back,” he orders gently. He shifts before Jongin can say that he’ll be fine, presenting his back to Jongin just like he had when Jongin had twisted his ankle so many moons ago, when their dead neighboring pack had first attacked. His back is just as strong as it was then, but the strength of the trust that Jongin has in him is more firm than ever. Jongin twists his fingers in Kyungsoo’s fur and holds on, letting Kyungsoo carry him through the thick of the foliage, the dark of the forest. He treads through the quiet of the glade, the long grass brushing Jongin’s ankles. Jongin keeps his face buried in Kyungsoo’s fur until Kyungsoo is shouldering the door of the cabin open.  
The scent of home, of the fire pit burning and the water basin flavoured with mint, welcomes Jongin. He slides ungracefully from Kyungsoo’s back, nearly crashing to the floor and catching himself on a pile of furs in the common area of the cabin. Kyungsoo goes to close the cabin door and returns in human form.  
“I hate to admit this,” he begins, hesitant, eyeing Jongin carefully, “but I thought you would be gone much longer.”  
Jongin stares at the fire in shame. “I thought I wouldn’t come back,” he admits. “I wanted to get lost, but I couldn’t seem to leave this - the pack, this cabin - behind.” He taps his fingers on his knees. “I thought I could starve myself, but I still went hunting. I thought I would pass out without water and never wake up, but the rain came.” He exhales. “What I thought I wanted was never what I really wanted, it seems.” Kyungsoo nods along. He doesn’t say he knew that all along, but Jongin figures he did.  
“I’m just happy you came back,” he says. He reaches for Jongin’s hand and tangles their fingers together. Jongin’s lip trembles. He chooses to stay quiet, content to just hold Kyungsoo’s hand and breathe, calming himself. He might have dozed off for a moment, or time may have stood still.  
“I’m not going to do that again,” he states when he finds the energy, when he’s sure he’s not going to cry.  
Kyungsoo’s face twists into complete bewilderment. “Run away?” he asks.  
“That,” Jongin agrees, “but also… also, I’m never going through this pain again.” He forces himself to look Kyungsoo in the eye. “I’m not having another pup, Kyungsoo. I don’t want to lose another baby. I can’t.”  
Kyungsoo smoothes his thumb across Jongin’s knuckles. “I won’t ask you to,” he promises.  
“I’m sorry.” Jongin looks down at their joined hands, his fingers far thinner than Kyungsoo’s.  
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He squeezes Jongin’s hand. “It’s not- you’re not at fault.”  
Jongin shakes his head. “I… I know that. It’s hard to believe that, but I know it.” He turns their hands over and reaches down to take Kyungsoo’s other hand. “But that’s not… what I mean is, you told me you wanted a family, and I… I can’t do that for you. I’ve failed twice to give you that.” Jongin lowers his head.  
“Oh, Jongin,” Kyungsoo breathes, tugging one hand from Jongin’s grip to settle his fingers along Jongin’s jaw. He encourages Jongin to look up at him, waiting to speak until Jongin is looking at him again. Kyungsoo gaze, despite his sorrow, is warm. Once Jongin is looking at him, he can’t bring himself to even glance away from the emotion Kyungsoo feels for him expressed plainly on his face. “You are my family.”  
Something about those words take all the fight from Jongin, and he slumps forward, burying his face in Kyungsoo’s neck. His nose bumps against the raised scars of the imprints his teeth left in Kyungsoo’s skin so long ago.  
“You’re mine too,” he whispers. “Mine too.” Kyungsoo rubs his back, his touch more comforting than his words could ever be. Jongin thinks of all the times he has ordered Kyungsoo not to touch him, and he thinks he never again will give that command. Kyungsoo’s touch is safe; it’s home.  
“I don’t want to ask if you’re okay, because, obviously we… not right now,” Kyungsoo starts. He stumbles over his words, but Jongin knows what he means. “I mean, do you want to stay here or would you rather go to your parents’ cabin or...or something else?” He fidgets. “I can stay out here if you want to sleep in the other room or the other way around, just- is this okay?”  
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin cuts him off. He grips Kyungsoo’s wrist. “I didn’t come back because I wanted to be alone.” He offers Kyungsoo a mere quirk of his lips. He’s not ready to smile yet. “I’m going to be okay. I don’t know when, but I will.” Kyungsoo draws Jongin’s hand up to his lips and kisses his knuckles.  
“We’ll be okay,” he agrees. Jongin allows Kyungsoo to help him to his feet and guide him to their room. There’s no fire burning in here, but being home is more warmth than any fire can provide.  
“You should sleep,” Kyungsoo says, helping Jongin sit at the edge of the pallet of furs, “for as long as you want.”  
Jongin nods in agreement even though he doesn’t plan to sleep for any longer than he needs. He’s hurting still, the loss of his son will bring his heart ache for many moons. But Kyungsoo has continued to lead the pack in Jongin’s absence, and Jongin owes it to him to do the same, to show his strength as Second, as Kyungsoo’s support, as much as Kyungsoo has been his.  
“Okay,” he agrees.  
“Sleep well,” Kyungsoo murmurs, crawling onto his own side of the pallet. Jongin watches him for a moment.  
“Did you send Taemin to come find me?” he asks.  
Kyungsoo hesitates, facing away from Jongin. “I did,” he admits. “I had to know… I had to know that you were safe.” He turns to face Jongin. “I just lost my son. I couldn’t lose my mate too.” His voice lowers into a whisper. “That would kill me.”  
Jongin can understand that. He’s in the same position. He takes a breath. “Do you remember what you said to me a sun cycle ago?”  
Kyungsoo tilts his head to the side, his eyebrows knit together. “I’ve said a lot of things to you.” He grabs a shirt from the middle of the pallet - one of Jongin’s - and folds it. Jongin watches him, waiting. Kyungsoo sets the folded shirt on the ground. His claim marks look silver in the low light of the moon. The rain isn’t falling anymore, Jongin realizes belatedly. “You’ll have to be a little more specific.”  
“When Taehyung and Hoseok mated,” Jongin hints. “And Seungwan and Jongdae. We… we talked after the ceremony, and…” He trails off, glancing down at his lap and back to Kyungsoo.  
“Oh,” Kyungsoo says, sitting just as uncomfortably as Jongin feels. “Yeah. I remember.”  
“Then why… Taemin… why did you…?” Jongin swallows and adjusts himself on the edge of the pallet. He would like a shirt to fold too, just to give his hands something to do. He’s not sure he’s ready to ask what he wants to know, but he’s already started the conversation.  
“I needed to know that you were okay,” Kyungsoo answers slowly. “I just wanted Taemin to find you, but I told him not to let you see him.” He chooses his words carefully, clearing his throat. “You said you wanted to be alone, so.”  
Jongin frowns. “But you already know I didn’t really mean… I didn’t mean that. I just… it was easier to say that than anything else. I really-”  
“I know,” Kyungsoo interrupts. “But when you tell me things, I listen. You’re...you’re my mate, Jongin. You’re Second. I respect you and your wishes as much as I can.”  
“Even if I don’t really mean it?” Jongin presses, and Kyungsoo purses his lips.  
“Even then,” he assures.  
“I see,” Jongin says. His shoulders droop. He’s not even sure why he’s disappointed to hear that.  
“Listen,” Kyungsoo begins. “I didn’t lie to you. A sun cycle ago, when we talked about the Chase. I didn’t lie.” Jongin watches Kyungsoo, watches his hands curl into fists, watches him open his heart to Jongin when Jongin doesn’t deserve that. Kyungsoo visibly steadies himself. “You’re a good runner,” he praises. “With you, it would be an amazing Chase. But that’s just it. You would let me chase you. You… you’re ready to be chased.”  
The words are weighty, and they’re what drags Jongin down onto the pallet, thoughts turning over and over even as his body screams for rest. He’s going to be thinking about this for a long time. Kyungsoo admitted so long ago that he wants to chase Jongin, that he would chase Jongin if Jongin allowed him to. It’s the words that Kyungsoo speaks next that follow Jongin into his dreams.  
“You’re just not ready to be caught,” Kyungsoo whispers, and with a jolt, Jongin realizes he’s right. Omegas are fast for a reason; it’s their first line of defense against alphas and betas. It’s one thing to be chased; it’s something else entirely to run without the intention of running away.  
There are some things, reality and death, that Jongin can’t escape. He’ll always be Kyungsoo’s mate; he’ll always be Second. His two pups will always be dead. Jongin can’t run from any of that. He can run from the pain, and he can run from his fears. He can also choose to stand and fight. The Chase is more than just a chase.  
Jongin scoots closer to Kyungsoo, curling himself against Kyungsoo’s side. He steadies himself and kisses Kyungsoo’s shoulder. They’ve made it this far together, and they’re going to go farther.  
Many, many moons ago, Jongin’s grandmother had told him to follow his heart. Jongin kisses Kyungsoo’s claim mark. As soon as his heart heals, that’s exactly what he’s going to do.  
~*~  
The crops are growing well, the fields filled with song as the pack works in the bright morning light. Jongin had awoken with the sunrise, detangling himself from Kyungsoo’s arms and slipping out of the cabin before his mate had a chance to be disturbed from his sleep. Kyungsoo claimed that Jongin needed the rest most, but Jongin knows Kyungsoo. He knows he doesn’t sleep when he’s worried, and Jongin’s absence is the perfect excuse to make Kyungsoo worry.  
“Ma,” Jongin calls, heading into the center of the fields where the four crops meet. His mother looks up from sorting seeds, and her face splits into a smile, her eyes filling with tears.  
“Second,” she breathes. She pushes herself to her feet and runs at him, nearly bowling him over when she collides with his chest, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “You’re back. Are you okay?”  
Jongin ignores the question. He hopes his mother will understand. “I couldn’t stay away, I guess,” he says. He gestures to the fields. “Put me to work.” Byulhee crosses her arms.  
“You’re taking orders today?” she asks with a quirked eyebrow. Jongin shrugs.  
“You and uncle are the ones in charge of the fields,” he reminds her. “This is your domain. Tell me what you need done.” Byulhee frowns the slightest bit, and Jongin frowns with her. “What?” he questions.  
“I just… after everything…”  
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jongin says before his mother can bring the conversation around to the loss of his son. “Not right now.”  
“Okay,” Byulhee agrees easily enough. She offers Jongin a smile. “Then you can help Namjoon dig more trenches for watering the crops.” Jongin dips his head in agreement. His mother grabs his wrist before he can head off. “And you can come see your parents and grandmother after high noon. We were worried about you.”  
“I will,” Jongin promises. He owes them that much.  
“Get to work,” his mother orders, and Jongin jogs off across the fields, darting through the nearly knee-high corn stalks towards the shallow trenches. Namjoon is on his knees, digging, and down the line from him, Juhyeon and Seulgi are kneeling across from each other, seemingly making a competition out of who can dig the fastest.  
“Hey, Namjoon,” Jongin greets, and Namjoon’s eyes goes wide. He scrambles to get to his feet, dirt streaked across his cheek. “You don’t have to stop working.”  
“S-Second,” Namjoon coughs. He spits, scrunching his nose. “Dirt in my mouth,” he explains, lowering himself back to his knees. “Have orders for me or something?”  
Jongin shakes his head and drops to his knees across from Namjoon. “My ma told me to come help you, actually,” he says. “I’m just here to work.”  
“It’s been awhile since you’ve been out to the fields,” Namjoon comments, flicking dirt in Jongin’s direction.  
“I have a pack to take care of,” Jongin teases. “Can’t just work the fields.”  
“Big tough Second, I see,” Namjoon returns. Jongin lobs a handful of dirt at him, and they both laugh, the silence between them comfortable as they work. The day continues on, and Jongin’s shoulders and back ache with the work. The strips off his shirt at some point, sweating as the sun shines down on the fields. The skin of his shoulders starts looking pink only a half hour in, and sweat drips in his eyes.  
“How are you and Jimin?” Jongin asks just to have some sort of conversation to distract him the heat.  
Namjoon ducks his head, his smile sweet and cheeks pink. “Good,” he says. “I mean….yeah. We’re great. We’re together, and that’s really all I can ask for, you know?” Jongin nods along.  
“Are you going to Chase him?” he asks. “That’s what’s next, right?”  
Namjoon shrugs. “I don’t think so. I don’t think the Chase is for us.”  
“Because you’re both omegas?”  
“Because we don’t need it to validate what we have,” Namjoon corrects. “The Chase is just a public display of a private thing. The pack knows we’re together whether or not I chase him or he chases me.” He smiles, laughing a bit at some private memory Jongin isn’t privy to. “We spent long enough chasing each other that a Chase would just be boring, I think.”  
Jongin recalls Kyungsoo’s words from last night. You would make a great chase. There’s a lot behind that: Kyungsoo saying he wants to engage in the Chase with Jongin, that he knows it wouldn’t be easy to catch him. Jongin wonders how long Kyungsoo would chase him for; he wonders if maybe Kyungsoo hasn’t already been chasing him for sun cycles.  
“You didn’t get to do the Chase either,” Namjoon continues. “You and Leader.” He shoves his hands into the dirt again. “And no one thinks your mating is any less legitimate for it.”  
“That doesn’t mean some of us don’t want to do the Chase,” Juhyeon interrupts, standing over them both with her arms crossed.  
“Obviously,” Namjoon replies. “Or else it wouldn’t be a prevailing custom.“ To that, Juhyeon rolls her eyes and tosses her hair over her shoulder. She looks at Jongin expectantly.  
“Why did you come over here?” Jongin asks, pushing himself up to stand. He wipes his hands on his pants.  
“I,” Juhyeon begins, confident. She falters only a moment later. Jongin waits and quirks an eyebrow. “I want to ask your permission, Second,” she says softly. She clears her throat. She’s fidgeting, and Jongin doesn’t bother to curb the slow smile spreading across his face. He knows this anxious look, and Seulgi looking over at them curiously kills any doubt about what Juhyeon wants to ask.  
“Permission?” he prompts. Juhyeon’s blush starts at her cheeks and goes down to her chest.  
“I want to chase Seulgi,” she says. She keeps her head up. “I want to chase her, and I hope she lets me catch her.” She doesn’t approach this like Hoseok did or like Seungwan did or any of the other alphas and betas who have asked Jongin permission to engage in a chase ceremony. She doesn’t duck her head and submit to Jongin’s status. Instead, she glances back at Seulgi, now standing and waiting for her and turns her gaze back to Jongin. “Please,” she says.  
“Yes,” Jongin agrees. “Whenever Seulgi decides she’s ready, we’ll hold the ceremony.”  
“Thank you, Second,” Juhyeon breathes. She’s bows now. “Thank you.” She trots back over to Seulgi and greets her with a kiss. Seulgi shoves her into the muddy trench. Namjoon laughs, full-bodied, the display. Jongin thinks they’re going to get on just fine.  
“Think about it this way,” Namjoon adds. “If Jimin and I skip the Chase, then neither of us has to embarrass himself asking you if we have permission.” He laughs, and Jongin joins him. It feels good to laugh even if the joke isn’t that funny.  
Jongin’s mother’s howl arches over the fields just as he and Namjoon round the back corner of the corn field. The sun is blinding. High noon has come.  
Jongin hurries to the center of the fields to await his mother’s dismissal. He doesn’t wait for her to leave the fields, hurrying off the river to wash his hands and face. His hair is too long again, wet strands clinging to his neck.  
The path to his parents’ cabin from the river is still the same as it was before the tournament, but it feels new. Something about today makes everything feels new.  
“Second,” Jongin’s father calls to him in greeting when Jongin breaks through the trees. “Your mother says you ran off so quick from the fields, she thought you may have forgotten about us.”  
“Pops, come on.” Jongin holds up his hands. “I just didn’t want to show up covered in filth.”  
Sungkeun sighs. “You used to come home covered in blood from training. Do you really think we mind a little dirt?” Jongin opens his mouth to respond, but his father wraps him up in a hug before he can. “It's good to see you looking alive,” he says.  
“Yeah,” Jongin agrees. He kind of wants to joke about how much better being alive is, but then he thinks of Sanghun. It's too raw, too soon, for that type of humor.  
“Come inside,” Sungkeun says, an arm over his son’s shoulders. “Your mother is trying to put together a snack.” He drops his volume. “And probably to make sure my mother in moon doesn't say anything out of line.”  
“I do love my ma,” Jongin responds to that. If his grandmother is determined to talk about the moon goddess, it won't matter what Byulhee says to her. Jongin walks into the cabin with his father. “Ma?” he calls out.  
His mother steps in from the back entrance of the cabin, a clay pot of freshly-brewed barley tea in her hands. “Don't be a stranger, son of mine,” she calls. “Come in here.” She heads over to the furs piled up in the main room, and Jongin goes to join her.  
“Hello, grandma,” he says before his sits, dipping his head.  
“You look better,” she says, reaching over to squeeze his hand. “How are you?”  
“Being Second,” Jongin replies honestly if not a little cheekily. His grandmother pats his hands.  
“You're just the right wolf for the job,” his grandmother assures. She closes her eyes, tilting her face up towards the roof, and Jongin’s heart sinks. “The moon goddess chose right. For all the trials she's put you through, you can be assured you'll soon be rewarded.”  
“Mom,” Byulhee warns.  
“The health and prosperity of the pack is the only reward I seek,” Jongin says formally, a little stoic. He pulls his hand from underneath his grandmother’s. His grandma frowns.  
“You don't want pups?” she inquires. “My boy, you are going to be blessed. And you’re going to refuse such blessings?”  
“Mom,” Byulhee says again. Jongin shakes his head, and his mother sits back a little bit. She frowns.  
Jongin takes a breath and faces his grandmother. “Honestly, yes,” he tells her. “I don’t want anything from the moon goddess.”  
“Second,” his grandmother starts again. “I know she can be a difficult mistress. Her will is hard to determine and harder to understand. She’s a trickster. She likes to play games. But she is wise and will lead us to make the right choices.” She grabs Jongin’s wrists. “Please, my son, do not disregard her generosity.”  
“Please don’t touch me while you praise an undeserving goddess,” Jongin mutters, dark and dangerous. His grandmother’s eyes go wide. There’s no silver there. His grandmother begins to show her teeth. “Because if what you say is to be believed,” Jongin presses on, disregarding how he’s infuriating his grandmother, “then to the moon goddess, my children’s lives were not but games to teach me a lesson. They weren’t tests for me to pass. They were my children.” Sungkeun squeezes Jongin’s shoulder, and Jongin hadn’t even realized how badly he’s shaking.  
“Of course, Second,” Jongin’s grandmother tries to soothe. “She knows that.”  
“Does she?” Jongin snaps. He stands. “Because to me, it looks like she doesn’t give a fuck about my pups. All she cares about is whether or not I’m Second.”  
“Watch your mouth,” Jongin’s grandmother warns.  
Jongin ignores her warning. “No, I’m tired of letting you excuse the moon goddess because you love her. So you know what? I’m going to tell you exactly what I think of the moon goddess.” He meets his grandmother’s eyes and hopes his fury at this so-called goddess shows clear through his expression. “If she’s real, she’s a terrible goddess. She’s not benevolent. She wants to be praised but does hardly anything to warrant our devotion. But the truth is, I’m not even sure she exists.” The silver in his grandmother’s eyes is shadowed by the anger lining her face.  
“I knew this would happen,” Byulhee sighs. Sungkeun leaves Jongin’s side to wrap his arm around his mate instead.  
“It’s been a long time coming,” Sungkuen whispers to her. Byulhee just leans against his side.  
“The moon goddess is the center of the pack’s heart,” Jongin’s grandmother recites. “I raised you better than this. How dare you tell me all of us believe in something false?”  
“Because I’ve been too hurt over this religion of yours!” Jongin explodes. “So I give up. I fucking give up. I would rather die than see another pup of mine lost to the stars. I would have rather died than have lost Sanghun. But I’m here and my son is not, so I don’t care about whatever blessings the moon goddess has for me. What I care about is what I can see and touch. My family, my mate, my pack. I’m going to be Second because that’s what this pack needs. The moon goddess has nothing to do with it - with me - anymore.” There are tears in Jongin’s eyes, but they don’t feel like sadness. They feel like relief. Jongin’s grandmother stares at him, her knuckles white where she grips the blanket over her shoulders. Silence sits around them for a few long moments, and Jongin treasures each second without his grandmother speaking of the moon goddess.  
“You have to believe in something,” Jongin’s grandmother pleads. “And the moon goddess-”  
“I do believe in someone,” Jongin cuts her off. “I’m not stupid enough to try going at this world without having faith in someone.” He’s probably blushing now, but he opens his mouth and forces himself to continue. “I’m choosing to put my faith in someone who hasn’t ever let me down or ever given up on me.” Kyungsoo.  
His grandmother hums. “So there is someone beyond the moon goddess who can do that for you,” she says. “Our Leader, I suppose.” Jongin ignores the slight disbelief in her voice. She doesn’t know Kyungsoo the way Jongin knows Kyungsoo. She hasn’t seen first-hand how Kyungsoo has held Jongin’s hand, carried him when he needed to be carried, through everything they’ve had to face since they took up the mantle of leadership.  
“Grandma,” Jongin says, softer this time. “You tell amazing stories, but sometimes you tell them so well that it’s hard to remember that they’re just stories.” It takes his grandmother a second to understand all that Jongin means, his complete denouncement of the moon goddess, but when she does, she closes her eyes, frown deepening.  
“I’m devastated that you say this, Second,” his grandmother says finally.  
Jongin pushes his shoulders back. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but I’m glad I finally did.” He’s not glad that he has ruined his visit to his parents’ cabin with his outburst, but his grandmother had to have known what she was starting with her comments.  
“We’re your parents,” Sungkeun says before Jongin’s grandmother can say more in rebuttal of Jongin’s words. “You should be able to speak freely in front of us.”  
“If not here or with your mate, where would you be able to speak your mind?” Byulhee adds in agreement. “Now. I’ve made tea. Who wants some? Second?”  
“Actually, I’m going to leave,” Jongin announces. “Leader is waiting for me.”  
“Of course,” Sungkeun says. “I’ll walk you out.” He throws an arm over his son’s shoulders again, winking at Jongin. “The tension in there was killing me,” he admits once they’ve stepped out of the cabin.  
“Sorry.” Jongin means it. “I just… I had to say that.”  
Sungkeun waves away Jongin’s apology. “You’re free to say what you want. Sometimes my mother-in-moon is a little…” He trails out.  
“Overbearing,” Jongin finishes for him. His father laughs.  
“Exactly,” he agrees. He hugs Jongin again. “It was good to see you anyway, son.”  
“I’ll see you around,” Jongin promises, squeezing his father’s shoulders. He jogs off then, heading through the trees towards the glade. He feels lighter as he leaves. The expectations placed on him seem to be moved to a manageable level. He’s Second. He’s human. He’s wolf. He’s not a god, and there is no god helping him. He has his mate, and Kyungsoo is more help, more support, than the moon goddess has ever been. Under his title, Jongin is just Jongin.  
It’s Second who walks through the glade, but it’s Jongin who Kyungsoo greets with a wagging tail and a dead deer on the ground in front of their cabin.  
“Is this a welcome home gift?” Jongin asks his mate’s wolf form. Kyungsoo leans down and takes the first bite as the hunter, beginning the traditional meal. Jongin strips out of his clothes and shift, diving forward to take the second bite. Kyungsoo growls at him, teasing Jongin to get away. Jongin retorts by snapping his jaws with more force than necessary around the deer’s haunches, tearing away a chunk of meat too big for his mouth. Kyungsoo snorts, watching Jongin struggle with the oversized bite. The two of them can’t eat an entire deer by themselves, and when they’ve both had their fill, they drag the rest of it to the medicine hut for the priests to distribute to the their patients.  
Jongin collapses on a pile of furs in the main room when they get back to the cabin, letting out a groan. He shifts. “I’m too full to walk,” he whines.  
“You’re lazy,” Kyungsoo informs him, tugging on a pair of pants and throwing another pair in Jongin’s direction. Jongin eyes them distastefully.  
“I’m not putting those on,” he says. “That’s too much work. I was born naked anyway.”  
Kyungsoo just rolls his eyes. “Nothing I haven’t seen before anyway.”  
Jongin squawks, balling up the pants and hurling them at Kyungsoo’s face. “The fields!” Jongin yells. His face is burning. “The sun is brutal!” He pokes at his sunburn to emphasize.  
Kyungsoo tosses Jongin’s pants back at him. “Well, he is the brother of the moon goddess,” he jests. “Did you lead him to ruin the crops?”  
“Fuck off,” Jongin grumbles, kicking aimlessly at Kyungsoo’s legs whilst struggling to get his pants on. “The crops are great. The pack is great too, unless you managed to lose some of them in my absence?”  
Kyungsoo sneers. “You’re the only one who tries to get lost.”  
The words are said in jest, but still they cut a little to close to Jongin’s heart. “Hey. I came back.”  
Kyungsoo’s expression immediately softens into fondness, but his words are still sharp. “Yeah,” he whispers. “How unfortunate.” Jongin glares at him, and the second Kyungsoo’s gaze lowers, Jongin hurtles himself at him. His braced arms hit Kyungsoo’s chest, and they topple to the ground, laughing through the playflight. Kyungsoo bucks up, trying to throw Jongin off, but Jongin twists with Kyungsoo’s momentum, rolling them over twice. Kyungsoo snarls, his eyes still bright and his fangs not showing, and Jongin grabs his wrists, forcing him to lie still.  
“That was almost disappointing,” Jongin teases, leaning forward. “What an easy win.” He gloats, still leaning over Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo tries to push up, muscles flexing with Jongin’s weight holding him down. Jongin gives him the most smug expression, leaning down a little closer. “Is that really all you’ve got?” Evidently, Kyungsoo still has a few tricks, because the next thing Jongin knows, is Kyungsoo’s mouth is on his, and Jongin’s shock gives Kyungsoo just enough leverage to roll them over the other way.  
Kyungsoo stares down at Jongin, and Jongin stares up at him. He braces for Kyungsoo to say “I win,” but the words are not forthcoming. Instead, their staring contest stretches out further. Jongin inhales and exhales, and in that moment, he realizes that he's not uncomfortable, he's not upset that Kyungsoo kissed him.  
He really wouldn't mind another go of it.  
Kyungsoo kisses him again, a little harder, and Jongin reciprocates without hesitation, sliding his hands up into Kyungsoo’s hair. There’s no aim to this kiss, no rush. It’s pleasant; it’s nice to just enjoy Kyungsoo’s touch against his sides. Kyungsoo kisses him like he wants nothing more than to be close to Jongin, like he really had missed him.  
The void in Jongin’s chest seems a little smaller.  
“This is fun,” he says when Kyungsoo draws back, stroking his hand down Jongin’s side again. He flicks his hip.  
“Kissing?” he teases.  
“Being with you,” Jongin corrects. Kyungsoo stills, watching Jongin curiously.  
“The good news is you get me forever,” he says, taking his hand away from Jongin side to point at the imprint of Jongin’s teeth on his neck. Jongin doesn't really think about it. He just leans up and kisses Kyungsoo again. Kyungsoo ears go a little pink, and Jongin is pleased.  
“I talked to my grandma today,” Jongin says conversationally, sitting up. Kyungsoo tilts his head, a little frown tugging the corners of his mouth down.  
“Yeah? How'd that go?”  
Jongin shrugs. “She wasn't happy, as expected. But I feel better. It was...I needed to say what I said.” Kyungsoo nods along with that.  
“What did you tell her?”  
“That you're ugly,” Jongin jokes, wrinkling his nose. Kyungsoo punches his chest, and Jongin laughs harder.  
“And?”  
Jongin sobers. “I told her what I think of the moon goddess. I told her I don't want more pups. I told her...I told her a lot.” He doesn’t tell Kyungsoo how highly he praised him in front of his family; he’s not sure he’s ready to open his still-broken heart so fully.  
“You had a lot to say,” Kyungsoo says. “I'm proud of you.”  
“I told her I'm Second,” Jongin adds. “I'm not a pawn of the moon goddess. I'm my own wolf.”  
Kyungsoo shakes his head, laughing under his breath. “Not even a goddess can control you,” he says. “No one can stop you from doing what you want.”  
Jongin braces himself. “As it turns out,” he begins, meeting Kyungsoo’s eyes, “it just takes the right wolf.” In a repeat of Kyungsoo gesture earlier, Jongin takes Kyungsoo hand and places it on the claim marks on his own shoulder. Kyungsoo stares at him and taps the scars of his teeth there.  
“I see,” he says. He gets up on his knees and takes his time watching Jongin’s face. Jongin doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but evidently, he find it, leaning forward to kiss Jongin’s forehead. He holds himself there, lips against Jongin skin, and in that moment, Jongin’s world feels complete.  
In that moment, his heart doesn’t hurt.  
~*~  
Standing high up in the mountains that border pack lands on the same plateau where Jongin laid his son to rest brings back painful memories of loss. The sensation isn’t as sharp, the four sun cycles that have passed since then have given him time to mourn and time to heal. He’ll never not miss Sanghun; he’ll never not love him. But he has so many more reasons to keep moving forward than to stay stuck in a spiral of sadness. He has Kyungsoo, growing stronger, more powerful alongside Jongin. With their strength, the pack flourishes, unable to be defeated by the coldest of winters or the harshest of attacks from neighboring packs.  
The wind up on the plateau as the pack members set firewood over the bones of the last pyre, the ceremony well-known and simple, is just as strong as it has been for every funeral Jongin has ever attended. The sky is clear today, the path to the stars unobstructed by clouds. Today’s funeral is not one of mourning. It is not to send away the young souls of pups or warriors killed in battle. This is a funeral of celebration: the release of an old wolf who has lived a full life to the stars to dance and watch over the pack eternally.  
Jongin and Kyungsoo step forward to set the last wood offering on the pyre and retreat for Yerim to step in front of the whole pack as the head priestess and master of ceremony. Yerim’s voice soars to the sky, the notes sweet and gentle, silver eyes flashing in the bright sunlight. Jongin almost fears the wind will lift her petite form from the mountain and carry her away with it, but the head priestess stands firm. Yerim stops her singing, stepping back for Jongin’s mother to take her place at the head of the pyre. Her brother stands at her side, helping her hold her torch.  
“I, Byulhee, send my mother to walk with the stars,” Jongin’s mother announces. Her hair, all gray now but still as beautiful as ever, whips around her in the wind. “I ask the moon goddess to lift her up, to let her tell her stories in the stars so that they will always be remembered.” She and Jongin’s uncle together lower the torch to the funeral pyre. His skin is like leather next to Byulhee’s, worn from age and the sun.  
The priests lower their torches to the pyre, and Yerim begins to sing again. She wears her shawl tied in her hair, the markings of the moon goddess scarred into her shoulders plainly visible for all to see. She makes a fine head priestess, beautiful and fierce at twenty suns of age. Her voice seems to have the wings of the eagles, lifting Jongin’s grandmother’s soul beyond the blue of the daytime sky, the other priests singing along with her.  
“Are you sad?” Kyungsoo whispers his question under the singing, his fingers loose around Jongin’s wrist.  
“Maybe a little,” Jongin murmurs back to him. “But she was almost ninety sun cycles and she barely moved anymore. It was time.” The flames curl around his grandmother’s body, the linen smoking. “It’s not as sad when someone who has lived their whole life goes to walk with the stars. It’s more of a celebration.”  
Kyungsoo offers him a small smile and pulls Jongin in close to him. “You’re so wise, sometimes.”  
“Only sometimes,” Jongin replies. He pinches Kyungsoo’s arm. “I’m only twenty-seven.” Kyungsoo snorts.  
“You’re still a pup, really.”  
To that, Jongin just offers him a smile and slides his arm around Kyungsoo’s waist. The voices of the priests surround them, led by their head priestess.  
“How long are we going to stay?” Kyungsoo asks.  
“She was my grandmother,” Jongin answers. “We should probably stay until the end.” Around them, much of the pack is already walking away after paying their respects. At Jongin’s grandmother’s funeral, those staying to watch her soul’s departure are mostly friends and family. The only people with tears in their eyes are Byulhee and Beom, but even their tears are not aching of sadness. They are simply saying goodbye.  
When Beom steps back from the pyre, his mate comforts him immediately, and Taehyung is there to give his father a hug, leaving Hoseok to hold their first child, battling against the wind to keep her furs wrapped tight around her.  
Hajin is the most beautiful pup Jongin has ever seen, carrying both of her parents’ strikingly attractive features. She’s going to break all of her suitors’ hearts one day if Taehyung doesn’t break them first. Jongin recognizes the tension in Taehyung’s shoulders anytime another pup so much as glances at Hajin as a protective streak wider than their growing territory. He’s happy for his cousin and his mate. After waiting four sun cycles, waiting until they were both a little older and wiser, their bond as mates strong and resilient, they deserve to have their beautiful pup.  
Hoseok pats the slight swell of Taehyung’s belly when he returns to his side. Jongin smiles to himself. He hopes his cousin’s next pup is just as beautiful; he has no doubt that will be the case. He also has no doubt the two of them will keep having pups until they have their own small pack. Taehyung has always loved children, and there’s plenty of room in his heart for a plethora of them.  
“You’re not even paying attention,” Kyungsoo whines, drawing Jongin’s attention away from his cousin. Jongin nudges him with his elbow.  
“I’m just watching everything,” he argues. “It’s kind of overwhelming.”  
“The smell of smoke is what’s overwhelming,” Kyungsoo drawls.  
“You can go,” Jongin tells him. “I’ll never hear the end of it from Ma if I leave, but you can use some leaderly excuse. It’s fine.”  
Kyungsoo tangles his fingers with Jongin’s. “I’d rather stay with you,” he says.  
“You’re a sap.” Jongin sticks out his tongue and instantly regrets it. The flavor of smoke makes his eyes water, and he buries his face in Kyungsoo’s shoulder to cough it out. Kyungsoo rubs his back, stifling his own chuckles with a cough of his own.  
A slight shriek and a bit of earth stinging Jongin’s bare calves brings him to look up, and he has to bury his laugh in Kyungsoo’s shoulder, disguising it as another cough.  
On Kyungsoo’s other side, Seungwan has her two rambunctious five-sun-cycles-of-age boys held firmly by the shoulders. She crouches down, and Jongin can just imagine her warning them to behave. The beta boy has a handful of dirt still, giving away himself as the one who threw the dirt even as he points and blames it on his alpha brother. Seungwan rolls her eyes, doling out punishments and standing. Jongdae shows her a bright smile, rocking their two-suns-of-age daughter in his arms. She appears to be almost asleep, drooling her on her father’s shoulder, legs curled against him. She tugs his ear every so often to beg for attention sleepily, and Jongdae indulges her with kisses all over face until she’s dozing off again.  
Yerim finishes her song, and the priests all quiet. Without a word, they all make their way off the plateau and down the mountainside, following Yerim on the way back towards the glade. WIth Yerim in charge, the medicine hut isn’t quite as threatening. It’s nice to have someone who believes his life is not a mistake in charge of saving his life nowadays. The head priestess before Yerim died a mere sun cycle and a half ago, but already Jongin feels safer, fully confident in Yerim’s ability.  
“Seriously, you keep spacing out,” Kyungsoo interrupts Jongin’s thoughts. “Are you even paying attention to this funeral?”  
“I’m just people watching,” Jongin hisses. “There's a lot to see.” The fire has reduced his grandmother's corpse to mostly ash now, and even his parents and uncles will leave soon.  
“The head priestess has left,” Kyungsoo says. “So I'm leaving too.”  
“I told you you could forever ago,” Jongin reminds. “Just go. I’m going to say goodbye.”  
“You make me look like a bad Leader if I'm not with you,” Kyungsoo grumbles. Jongin pretends to toss his hair over his shoulder.  
“It's part of my charm.” He takes Kyungsoo’s hand and tugs, leading him up to his uncles first and then his parents, offering them his support both as their Second and as part of their family. He kisses his mother’s cheek and hugs her close to him, promising that his grandmother is happy to be in the stars alongside the moon goddess.  
He turns to face the pyre. “Goodbye, Grandma,” he whispers. His heart clenches painfully once. He will miss her, but she was ready to leave the earth. Despite their arguments, Jongin will always remember her as a pillar of support for him. “I hope the stars are just as beautiful as you believed.”  
“Keep watch over us,” Kyungsoo requests. He squeezes Jongin fingers, and they turn together to make their way back to the glade, to the rest of the pack.  
“I can barely remember pack life without being in charge of it,” Kyungsoo confesses randomly during their hike down the mountain.  
“You really are getting old,” Jongin teases, tugging on Kyungsoo’s still-black hair. “Your memory is already slipping.” Kyungsoo slaps his hand away.  
“At least I age well,” he counters. “You just keep getting more annoying.” Jongin grins and hopes his fondness for Kyungsoo doesn't show too much. With every passing sun cycle, his mate is more weathered, more scarred. Jongin’s trust in him is stronger than the mountains, stronger than the current of the river after the rain.  
Jongdae says he devastatingly handsome. Jongin refuses to give him the satisfaction of agreeing.  
“Do you want to go on a run?” he asks, tugging on the waistband of Kyungsoo’s pants. “Around the southern creeks and to the river?”  
“I'll win,” Kyungsoo threatens.  
“You could never catch me,” Jongin challenges. He takes off first, shifting mid-stride. Kyungsoo never does manage to catch him, the two of them meeting in a tussle when Jongin turns around and leaps onto Kyungsoo’s back. The leaves and dirt get trapped in their fur and ears. Jongin breaks away from the fight, racing off again towards the river.  
Kyungsoo barks and keeps chasing him, always a few paces or more behind. Someday, Jongin will slow just enough for Kyungsoo to catch him.  
~*~  
“I’m getting too old for this,” Jongin groans from his position kneeling in front of the bonfire. The beating of the drums of the fourteenth winter ceremony for which he and Kyungsoo have brought offerings vibrates through his body. Just over the roar of the flames, he can hear Seungwan walking amongst the pack members, praying with them, well-practiced in the words and mannerisms of this ceremony after leading it so many times. Jongin’s knees ache.  
“We do this every sun cycle,” Kyungsoo says back to him. “You should be used to it.” The red fox fur over his shoulders gleams in the firelight. Jongin is sweating under the white rabbit furs sewn together. This sun cycle, the weather is still hot even with winter right around the corner. Kneeling in front of a fire with furs draped over his back is the epitome of unpleasant.  
“My knees hurt,” Jongin whines. The singing of the priests around the glade covers his voice. He whimpers dramatically.  
“You really are an old man,” Kyungsoo tells him. His fingers sneak from under the fox furs to poke at Jongin’s knuckles. He tucks his hands into his humble praying position again quickly, and Jongin turns his head to smirk at Kyungsoo. He’s got a little gray streaked at his temples, and he’s just as handsome as ever at thirty-five sun cycles of age.  
“Just a bitter old man,” Jongin agrees. “Are you staying to dance after the ceremony ends?”  
“Do you want to?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin’s smirk stretches into an unfaltering smile.  
“I’m kind of in the mood for a dance, yeah,” he says. Kyungsoo chuckles low.  
“Sure, Second,” he promises. “We can dance.”  
Seungwan’s footsteps coming up behind them quiet their conversation, and they quickly return to looking like they’ve been faithfully praying for the pack the whole time. The rhythm of the drums races.  
“The pack has spoken,” Seungwan recites. “May the moon goddess hear.” The priests’ singing cuts out and the drums stop beating with a final resounding thump. Jongin curses in his head as his body protests while he unfolds himself from his crouched position, standing up as Second next to Leader and First. In unison, they bow.  
Yerim steps forward, hands held towards the sky. “The ceremony is complete,” she calls out, and the pack cheers as the drums sound again, this time a lighter, happier rhythm. “Let us dance!”  
The pack members break from their kneeling positions, grabbing friends and family and spinning them around. Laughter and cheers, a few wolves singing, echo through the glade alongside the drumbeats. Jongin beams watching them.  
“Fourteen winter ceremonies,” Seungwan says, gesturing towards the pack, “and seeing that never gets old.” Just as she finishes speaking, her daughter, Seungwan’s spitting image, screams, running through the fray of dancing wolves to get away from the spider dangling from her brother’s hand. The other twin follows close behind, hollering. “I should go take care of that,” she sighs.  
“Where’s Jongdae?”  
Seungwan just shrugs. “I haven’t seen him all day. Which is a real pain considering I was getting ready for this and had to watch my pups. At least the twins are old enough to go on runs with the other pups now.”  
Jongin stares at Seungwan for a long minute. “What?” she demands.  
“You haven’t seen Jongdae all day,” Jongin repeats her words. “Isn’t this his fourth month?”  
“Come to think of it,” Kyungsoo adds, scanning the crowd, “I don’t see Hyejin or Yongsun among the priests.”  
Seungwan’s eyes go wide. She grits her teeth and curls her hands into fists. “That damn omega,” she spits. There’s no real malice to her words, her eyes shifting towards the medicine hut and then to her screaming pups.  
“Yeah, we suck,” Jongin agrees. He puts a hand on Seungwan’s shoulder. “Kyungsoo and I will get your kids home and to sleep if you want to go meet your new pup.”  
Seungwan relaxes, throwing her arms around Jongin in gratitude. “Thanks,” she says. “I’m naming this one after you.” Kyungsoo groans.  
“Please don’t,” he pleads, teasing. “We don’t need two Jongins in this pack.” Seungwan salutes and sprints off towards the medicine hut.  
“Three pregnancies and she still hasn’t figured it out,” Jongin snorts. He grabs Kyungsoo’s hand. “Come on. I’m gonna help Jongdae’s princess find some worms to put down her brother’s shirt.” Kyungsoo slaps a hand to his forehead.  
“That really doesn’t help the situation,” he grumbles. Jongin cackles, taking off in pursuit of his best friend’s kids and ignoring his mate shouting after him.  
It’s not easy to get the three of them to settle down enough to sleep, but once they’re out, they’re out. The twins’ toes twitch with their dreams, and Jongin brushes his fingers through Jongdae’s daughter’s hair.  
“Sleep well, puppies,” he whispers, getting up from their fur pallets and heading back out to the main area of First’s cabin. Jongdae’s parents are there with Kyungsoo, bowing to him.  
“Sleeping?” Kyungsoo asks when he sees Jongin. He nods.  
“They’re exhausted,” he confirms. He looks to Jongdae’s parents. “I can go hunt for them in the morning, if-”  
“Please don’t trouble yourself, Second,” Jongdae’s mother says, grasping Jongin’s hand. “My mate isn’t so old yet he can’t catch a rabbit or two.”  
Jongin dips his head to the older wolves and bids them goodnight. Kyungsoo takes Jongin’s hand as they walk back across the glade towards their cabin. The glade is a mess of ceremonial rocks and scorch marks from the torches, the grass trampled from the entirety of the pack kneeling on it.  
“Cleaning up after the ceremony is the worst part,” Kyungsoo speaks Jongin’s thoughts.  
“I don’t even want to think about it,” Jongin tells him. “I’m too tired.” That doesn’t stop him from urging Kyungsoo into a foot race back to the cabin, the two of them collapsing on their pallet together, laughing like twelve-sun-cycles-of-age pups. “You smell like soot.”  
“So you do,” Kyungsoo says. He adjusts to lay on his side, looking at Jongin with his head pillowed on his arm. “You’ve got some on your cheek.”  
Jongin rolls to face Kyungsoo, laying on his side too. “Does it look cute?” he asks. Kyungsoo reaches out and swipes at the smudge with his thumb, rubbing it deeper into Jongin’s skin.  
“No,” Kyungsoo deadpans. Jongin pouts, and Kyungsoo sighs. “Aren't you too old for that?”  
Jongin just pouts harder. Kyungsoo pinches his side and smoothes his fingers over the slight mark from his nails. Absently, he watches his hand trail up and down Jongin’s side. Jongin watches his face, watches his emotions play out across his features.  
He moves in a little closer to Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo’s hand settles fully on his waist.  
“What are you thinking about?” Jongin breathes more than he voices.  
“A lot,” Kyungsoo answers.  
“That’s specific,” Jongin says. Kyungsoo taps his fingers along Jongin’s ribs.  
“I’m thinking about the winter ceremony,” Kyungsoo murmurs, his eyes following the path his fingers take on Jongin’s spin. “Will this winter be hard? Will this winter be easy? Will any omegas enter early heat? Will anyone try to use the winter season to invade our territory?”  
Jongin scoffs at the last one. “We’ve fought in territory disputes in more sun cycles than we haven’t,” Jongin reminds him. “I don’t think we have to worry about that. Our territory is twice as big as it was when we were first named Leader and Second.” He presses two fingers against Kyungsoo’s chest over his heart. “The pack is almost twice as populated. The other packs would be fool to try to take us on.”  
“If only other packs would stop underestimating you,” Kyungsoo muses with a wicked smirk. “They might actually have a chance.”  
Jongin bares his teeth. “They’ll never win.”  
“I know,” Kyungsoo says. “You would never lose.”  
Jongin hums, relaxing under Kyungsoo’s touch. “We’re owed a harsh winter after how mild last winter was,” he whispers, eyes downcast. Kyungsoo gives him a small murmur of agreement, still stroking his fingers softly over Jongin’s skin. “Is that really all you were thinking about?”  
Kyungsoo pauses in his ministrations. “No,” he says honestly. He looks a little uncomfortable and Jongin flattens his hand on Kyungsoo’s chest, waiting, offering him silent encouragement to continue. Kyungsoo breathes. “Jongdae giving birth tonight,” he admits, “and getting his pups to bed… it got me thinking.” Jongin stiffens.  
“Kyungsoo,” he starts, bile rising in his throat at the thought of carrying a pup again, of losing a pup again. “I don’t want-”  
“I don’t mean that,” Kyungsoo clarifies immediately, squeezing Jongin’s side. “That’s not really possible anyway with the medication you’re taking, and that’s okay. I have you. You’re enough for me.” Jongin grumbles at him even as he preens under Kyungsoo’s sweet words. Ever since they lost their son to scratch fever, Jongin has taken careful precautions to avoid pregnancy. His scent has a permanent ginger scent to it from the herbs he drinks in his tea and rubs into his skin. The method isn’t perfect for preventing pregnancy, but he’s over a decade into using it without a hiccup.  
“So the pups then,” Jongin cues. “What were you saying?”  
Kyungsoo starts up tapping his fingers along Jongin’ side again. “Tonight, with Jongdae giving birth, it made me think about how that pup missed the sun cycles of the moon goddess by only a few months and one sun,” Kyungsoo says. “It reminded me that any of the pups born after this coming sun cycle ends could be our replacements.”  
“Oh,” Jongin murmurs. “You’re right.” He chews his bottom lip, not meeting Kyungsoo’s eyes, just watching his belly as his mate breathes. Neither of them, despite their teasing, are old wolves, but in twenty-five sun cycles, they will be old wolves. They’ll be sixty suns-of-age and meeting the next Leader and First. They’ll be sixty suns and watching the new First and Yerim lead the tournament that will determine the next Second.  
They’ll be sixty suns and given leave from the pack.  
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin begins in the breathiest of whispers, dragging his gaze back up Kyungsoo’s body to meet his eyes. “When we leave here, after the five sun cycle exile, will we be coming back?” Kyungsoo doesn’t answer Jongin’s question. When Jongin and Kyungsoo had reached their fifth sun as Leader and Second, they had anticipated anticipated Minyoung and Hana’s return for only a few days, but no trace of them beyond two howls in the distance during one full moon run was ever found. The two of them hadn’t come back, and Jongin can understand why. “I don’t want to come back.”  
Kyungsoo nods. Jongin figures he probably feels the same. “I’ll go where you go,” Kyungsoo promises. His words lift Jongin’s heart, lightening the mood in their cabin.  
“You're going to chase me?” Jongin teases with an eyebrow raised. Kyungsoo just hums in response, sliding his arm around Jongin’s back to pull him in against him. His skin is warm against Jongin’s, and Jongin’s hand goes naturally to slide through his mate’s hair. When Kyungsoo kisses Jongin, Jongin meets him, hand on the back of Kyungsoo’s neck. He breathes through his nose and kisses Kyungsoo deeper, throwing a leg over his waist. Kyungsoo’s hand moves from Jongin’s back to his ass, pulling him flush against him. Jongin sighs a little into their kiss, pulling Kyungsoo as close to him as he can.  
It’s a little ridiculous how, after so many sun cycles together, Jongin’s body responds so easily to Kyungsoo touch, how readily he understands Kyungsoo’s intentions. There are touches that are meant for reveling in simply being in each other’s presence, and there are times, like now, when Jongin can smell just how much Kyungsoo desires him.  
“I want you,” Kyungsoo breathes. Jongin, even after how many times he’s heard those words, felt Kyungsoo’s lips move against his skin to spell out his love for him, preens at the compliment. Kyungsoo fits his teeth over the scars on Jongin’s shoulder, biting down gently. Jongin shivers, warmth pooling in his belly. When he and Kyungsoo were first mated, Jongin never thought he would come to even like sharing his body with Kyungsoo. That was a foolish belief; sex with someone he trusts is good. Sex with Kyungsoo is great.  
“I’m not about to say you can’t have me,” he whispers. Kyungsoo pulls back, looking at Jongin’s face. His gaze traces out the lines of Jongin’s shoulders and follows down his chest to the scars laced across his skin from battle wounds long-healed. He stops at the waistband of Jongin’s pants, fingers tangling in the ties.  
“You’re beautiful,” he praises.  
“You’re still a sap,” Jongin tells him. He’s smiling though, unable to really kiss Kyungsoo properly with his grin firmly in place, but he tries. “Take off my pants,” he orders. Kyungsoo pulls the ties on his pants, and Jongin gets off the pallet to strip his pants down his legs. He leans over Kyungsoo to take off his too, leaving them crumpled on the floor next to their discarded ceremonial furs.  
Kyungsoo holds out his hands, and Jongin crawls over him, sitting astride Kyungsoo’s hips. Kyungsoo’s hands are firm on Jongin’s waist, and Jongin rocks down, hissing as Kyungsoo’s half-hard cock brushes against his own. He snakes a hand down between them, stroking Kyungsoo first and then himself, working his hand over his own cock until Kyungsoo’s fingers sliding down between Jongin’s ass cheeks are slipping through his slick.  
“I never really cared for the smell of ginger,” Kyungsoo tells him, working one fingertip inside of Jongin, “but now I’m a bit addicted.” He slides his finger in up to the knuckle, and Jongin pants, taking both of their cocks in hand and laughing at the moan the action startles out of Kyungsoo.  
“You know how sometimes you tell me to just shut up?” Jongin asks. He rocks his hips back, fucking himself down on one of Kyungsoo’s fingers and thrust up into his own fist. The friction between himself and Kyungsoo is a bit dry, aided only by a little sweat. Kyungsoo nods, his eyes looking a little dazed as he watches Jongin. Jongin leans down, mouth hovering just over Kyungsoo’s. “Just shut up.” He kisses Kyungsoo, licking into his mouth, throwing away how sweet Kyungsoo likes to be to him in favor of feeling more of his mate against him. He circles his hips faster, his slick beginning to run down the insides of his thighs. Kyungsoo presses another finger into him, and Jongin releases their cocks long enough to wipe his hand along his thigh, gathering some of his own slick to ease the slide of his hand.  
Kyungsoo’s fingers inside him feel so good, his other hands squeezing Jongin’s ass cheek, kneading the muscle. Jongin groans, wrapping his fingers around Kyungsoo’s cock again. His own throbs against his belly, but he doesn’t touch it, working his hand over Kyungsoo until the beginning of his knot has just started to swell.  
“Stop,” Kyungsoo pants, pulling his hands away from Jongin to prop himself up on his elbows. He breathes hard, staring between them. “Fuck. Can I-?” He makes to roll them over, but Jongin drops his weight, holding Kyungsoo on his back.  
“I’ll take care of us,” he promises. He kisses Kyungsoo again, hands against Kyungsoo’s chest, easing him back down against the furs. Kyungsoo’s hands slide up Jongin’s thighs and back down. Jongin reaches between them and eases himself down onto Kyungsoo’s cock, leaning his head back and sighing at the sensation. “Okay,” he says, lifting up slow and dropping down just as slowly. The slide is easy; the feeling is amazing. “Okay.”  
This time, when he lifts his hips, he keeps his focus on Kyungsoo’s face. He fucks down hard, his body thrumming with the feeling, and Kyungsoo’s lips part, the tiniest groan escaping him. Jongin laughs breathlessly, using his leverage on Kyungsoo’s chest to ride him hard enough to really feel it and not fast enough to speed them towards orgasm.  
His mouth is open, sighs and moans of pleasure falling from his lips with every drop of his hips. Kyungsoo rubs circles over Jongin’s hip bone with one hand, and the other trails between his legs to wrap around Jongin’s cock, thumb pressed to the underside.  
Jongin smacks Kyungsoo’s hand away. “Don’t touch me,” he orders. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows, expression caught between about-to-come and confused. “I want to come in your mouth.” Kyungsoo groans, planting his feet on the furs behind Jongin and rutting up into him. Jongin falls forward with the force of it, wrapping his arms under Kyungsoo’s back and holding his shoulders, listing to Kyungsoo breath hard in his ear. The alpha’s knot catches on his rim, and Jongin whines, trying to grind back on it, to get it inside him.  
“Can I knot you?” Kyungsoo asks.  
“Please,” Jongin replies.  
“It’s gonna be awhile before I can suck you off,” Kyungsoo warns.  
“That’s okay,” Jongin says. “Come on, Kyungsoo. Knot me.”  
Kyungsoo thrusts hard a few more times, and Jongin falls to the side, taking Kyungsoo with him. They roll over, and on his knees, Kyungsoo has twice as much power to rut his knot into Jongin, pressing deeper until he can’t pull out. Jongin winces, and Kyungsoo kisses his face to apologize. He circles his hips, and any discomfort is forgotten. Jongin’s insides feel warm with another rush of slick, and Kyungsoo slips all the way in.  
“Fuck,” he whispers, and his closes his teeth over Jongin’s claim marks as he comes, body shaking and hips jerking with the force of it. Jongin whispers insults to him as he comes down from the first wave of his orgasm, petting his hair and rubbing his back. Kyungsoo bites his shoulder a little harder.  
“You’re obnoxious,” he says, voice still shaking. Jongin just coos and clenches around Kyungsoo. His mate shouts, body spasming. Jongin can feel more come inside him, and he laughs in his head at his younger self who was disgusted by this feeling. He’s drawn from his thoughts by Kyungsoo kissing up his neck and nipping at his jaw before he kisses Jongin’s mouth again.  
Jongin’s cock is still hard between them, and Kyungsoo reaches down, giving it a few short strokes. Jongin yelps, and he could come easily if Kyungsoo would just keep doing that.  
Kyungsoo grins. “Can’t come yet,” he reminds Jongin. “You’re gonna get what you wanted.”  
“Sometimes I regret the things I say,” Jongin tells him. Kyungsoo just laughs and kisses him again. Jongin tenses his muscles, and Kyungsoo groans into his mouth, shaking with oversensitivity. They’re definitely making Kyungsoo’s body maintain his knot longer than usual with this behavior, Kyungsoo teasing Jongin to keep him hard and Jongin’s body reacting to keep stimulating Kyungsoo.  
“There’s going to be come all over these furs when you pull out,” Jongin warns as soon as he feels Kyungsoo’s softening.  
“We’ll wash them tomorrow,” he promises. He draws back a little bit, testing how far his knot has shrunk. Jongin moans with the slight movement. “You need to relax if I’m ever going to get you off.”  
“I’ve been hard for so long, I think I’m about to explode,” Jongin counters. He tries to relax, grimacing at Kyungsoo’s come dripping out of him when Kyungsoo finally pulls out. “Fuck!” he swears loudly when Kyungsoo immediately presses three fingers back into him and rubs his thumb ever so lightly over his closed birth canal. He licks a stripe up Jongin’s cock and kisses the tip of him before closing his mouth around him. It doesn’t take much, a few bobs of Kyungsoo’s head and his fingers fucking into him, and Jongin can already feel his orgasm tightening up his muscles. He clenches around Kyungsoo’s fingers and taps his shoulder in warning. His eyes roll back as he comes, voice high and faltering. His hips lift off the furs, and his hands scramble to push himself away from Kyungsoo’s touch. “Fuck,” he breathes again. “Ah, please.”  
Kyungsoo lets go of him obediently, looking up at Jongin and licking his lips. Jongin swears again and then notices the gray morning light beginning to steam into the cabin.  
“It’s already morning,” he laughs with a snort of disbelief, sitting up gingerly. “We didn’t get any sleep.”  
“Good luck in the fields,” Kyungsoo says, dragging a hand down his face. Some of Jongin’s come still shines at the corner of his mouth. His fingers are still wet with his slick.  
“I’m going to be so sore,” Jongin complains. He brightens. “Want to go take a bath in the river first?”  
“As long as we walk,” Kyungsoo agrees. “I’m too tired to run.”  
“You’re old,” Jongin tells him. Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s chin and pulls him into a kiss.  
“We’re old together,” he corrects. Kyungsoo gets off the pallet and picks up their pants. “Let’s go wash.” Jongin eyes their furs and the patch of slick and come there. “Later,” Kyungsoo says. “There’s always later.” Jongin agrees, pulls on his pants, and takes Kyungsoo’s hand, walking to the river before the rest of the pack wakes, enjoying their morning together.  
~*~  
Kyungsoo’s lips on Jongin’s claim marks never fail to send desire spiraling through him, and he leans back, knees on either side of Kyungsoo's, his back to his mate’s chest.  
“Fuck,” Kyungsoo breathes, and Jongin presses his ass back. Kyungsoo’s burgeoning knot slides along the seem of Jongin’s birth canal, and Jongin shivers at the feeling. Kyungsoo’s thighs are wet with Jongin’s slick.  
Outside, the snow comes up to Jongin’s waist. Inside, Jongin’s heat has him panting, rolling his hips over and over, working to get Kyungsoo inside him without the aid of his hands.  
“Are you wasting time for any particular reason?” Jongin says, voice edging toward a moan. Kyungsoo’s hands slide around Jongin ribs to his chest, flicking his fingers over Jongin’s nipples. He presses his hands into the muscle of Jongin’s chest, and Jongin groans. “In a few suns I’m not going to have heats anymore,” he warns. “Don’t waste this.”  
Kyungsoo snorts. “You’ve got at least ten more sun cycles before that,” Kyungsoo grunts. “You’re only thirty-seven.” He thrusts up, and the tip of his cock presses into Jongin. Jongin’s hole flutters.  
“Fuck,” it’s Jongin’s turn to say. He wants Kyungsoo inside him so badly. His body aches for it. “Do that again. In me.”  
Kyungsoo doesn’t comply. Instead, he shoves Jongin’s shoulders, making him fall forward onto hands and knees. His hands squeeze Jongin’s thighs and ass, and then his tongue runs over Jongin’s hole.  
Jongin gasps, burying his hands in his forearms. “I hate you.” Kyungsoo just laughs and slides his tongue into Jongin. He’s good; it feels so good. Jongin rocks back against Kyungsoo’s face, trying to get more of Kyungsoo’s tongue inside of him. Kyungsoo licks up Jongin’s slick, and slips his tongue inside again. Jongin moans, the feeling of arousal buzzing through him strong and steady.  
With a jolt, he’s realizes that the feeling, while there, while strong, isn’t urgent. It doesn’t have that extra push to it that a heat does. This just feels like sex, not heat sex, and there’s only one thing that stops a heat in its tracks. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not an alpha’s knot.  
“No,” Jongin whispers. “He stills.”  
Kyungsoo nips gently at the curve of Jongin’s ass. “What’s wrong?” He smoothes his fingers over the bite mark.  
“It’s over,” Jongin says. He shakes. He can’t believe this.  
“What?” Kyungsoo asks. He pulls away from Jongin, moving to sit so he can see Jongin’s face, wiping the slick off his own.  
“My heat stopped,” Jongin explains. Kyungsoo looks as bewildered as Jongin feels.  
“How?” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows slant down in confusion. “This is only the second day.”  
Jongin’s hands are trembling. He’s breathing, but he’s not sure he’s getting air into his lungs. “Can you smell it?” he demands.  
Kyungsoo tilts his head to the side. “Your heat? Yeah. It’s all over my face right now.”  
“No!” Jongin blurts out, ignoring Kyungsoo’s attempt at humor. “Milk! Can you smell it?”  
Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Jongin, I don’t understand. What are you saying?”  
Jongin growls, frustrated, and pushes himself to his feet. “My heat is over,” he emphasizes, going to the wash basin. He splashes water up his arms and over his legs and down his back, washing away the scent of sex and heat. “And it ended suddenly,” he continues. His voice is pitched higher, and his throat is tight. “There’s only one reason that happens! It’s the very purpose of why omegas have heats at all!”  
Kyungsoo goes rigid, understanding dawning with a vague cross of horror and excitement on his face. “What are you saying?” he inquires, voice almost too soft for Jongin to hear. Jongin marches over to the front door and throws it open. The frigid winter wind blows inside, clearing out the smell of sex and arousal.  
“Can you smell milk?” Jongin demands again, hurrying over to Kyungsoo and dropping to his knees in front of him. With slow, barely shaking fingers, Kyungsoo reaches out. His hand curls around the nape of Jongin’s neck and draws him in close to him. His nose brushes along Jongin’s claim mark and over his collarbone. He inhales deeply.  
“Yes,” he confirms. “I can smell it.” He looks at Jongin, holds his shoulders. Jongin is shaking. The ground seems to be sliding out from under his knees.  
He’s pregnant.  
He’s going to have a pup.  
He’s terrified.  
“No,” he says, shaking his head. His vision spots and his stomach churns. He’s going to pass out. He’s going to throw up. “No, this can’t- Kyungsoo, I can’t- oh, goddess…” He can’t breathe. He chokes on his own words. His throat closes with the panic, his heart beating too fast, his mouth too dry. “Kyungsoo…” He’s shaking so badly his bones are going to come right out of his skin.  
Kyungsoo grabs Jongin, pulling him into his lap, rocking him side to side. “Shh,” he soothes. His fingers rake through Jongin’s hair, pulling it away from his face and neck. His voice sounds like it’s echoing from the mountains instead of whispering right by Jongin’s ear. “Jongin. Hey. Shh. Listen to me. Breathe, okay? Breathe. Breathe with me.” Jongin tries to listen to Kyungsoo’s steady words, to match his breathing, but it’s hard when the one thing he fears above all else is suddenly possible again.  
Loss.  
“Breathe,” Kyungsoo says again on his exhale. He inhales. “Breathe.” A long sigh follows, and Jongin forces himself to do as Kyungsoo instructs. Kyungsoo pulls carefully at Jongin’s fingers, and Jongin opens his eyes to see his fingers locked together, his wolf’s claws out and digging into the skin of the backs of his hands. “Breathe,” Kyungsoo says again. “Jongin.” He repeats Jongin’s name a few times, and it’s good. It gives Jongin something to focus on. The syllables of his own name and Kyungsoo’s voice, his careful touch, lift Jongin out of his spiral of panic until his chest doesn’t ache for lack of air.  
Kyungsoo hugs Jongin tightly, nosing along his hairline. Jongin sinks against his mate’s chest, curling his arms around himself, around the life inside him.  
“I can’t,” he breathes. “I don’t know if I can do this.” Despite having far more control over his body during the full moon than his younger self, there’s still the fact that he’s older, just a few sun cycles past when mated couples usually have pups.  
Kyungsoo simply shushes him again, holding Jongin close to him. “You don’t have to do this,” he says, and Jongin can feel Kyungsoo’s flinch at his own words. He recoils, pushing away from Kyungsoo..  
“I can’t,” Jongin says again. “I can’t do this, but I really… I really can’t do that.”. His stomach heaves at the mere suggestion that he intentionally take a child's life. His child's life.  
“Then what are we - are you - going to do?” Kyungsoo draws circles on Jongin’s back. Jongin focuses on that, on his touch, and keeps quiet for a long time, trying to control his breathing and his heart. He thinks, and he grabs one of Kyungsoo’s hands, holding it to his stomach alongside his own. The air seems to hum with Kyungsoo’s concern and Jongin’s nerves, but neither of them make a sound. Jongin calms from the initial shock and slips his fingers between Kyungsoo’s.  
“What else can I do?” he asks, rhetorical, and his voice comes out steady and clear. “We’re growing our family again.” His frown doesn’t quite turn down, caught between excitement and worry.  
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo begins. He clears his throat. “Jongin, I know we’ve… argued about this, but us with pups or without pups… it doesn’t change how I feel about you.” Jongin just turns his head to look at Kyungsoo, and his mate lifts a hand to carefully wipe under Jongin’s eyes.  
“If I lose a third pup…” Jongin’s eyes burn. His lip trembles. “I’ve already lost two. Two pieces of my heart. A third will definitely kill me.”  
Kyungsoo takes Jongin’s face between both of his hands, his palms gentle against his jaw even with his rough callouses. “Listen to me,” he murmurs. His gaze is intense, consuming, and Jongin can’t look away. “We’re not going to lose this one. It’s going to be fine.”  
“You can’t know that,” Jongin whispers, trying to shake his head. Kyungsoo holds him steady, keeping his focus on him.  
“Yes, I can,” he insists. The firelight reflects off his dark irises. Jongin doesn’t ask why, but he doesn’t need to. Kyungsoo has long learned to understand Jongin’s silence. “I do know. I know because I’ve seen the type of leader you are. I’ve seen how much you care. I’ve seen you save this pack over and over again at the cost of your own safety, and I’ve seen you carry us through thick and thin with the strength of your own heart.” He swallows. “Jongin, after Sanghun...I- I renounced the moon goddess.” Jongin nods stiffly with Kyungsoo’s hands still holding his face.  
“I know,” he breathes.  
“But I didn’t...I diidn’t give up faith,” Kyungsoo tells him, and a dozen birds seem to take wing in Jongin’s chest. He’s heard these words from his own mouth so many moon ago. He brings his hands up to grasps Kyungsoo’s wrists. “I believe in you,” Kyungsoo states, countenance firm. “I have nothing but the utmost faith in your abilities as Second, as a wolf, and as you.”  
Tears slip down Jongin’s cheeks, and he can’t even pinpoint why he’s crying or if his tears are happy or afraid. “Why?”  
“Because I’m in love with you.”  
The whole world, the sun and the stars and the wind, seems to freeze, centering around Kyungsoo’s confession. It’s not like Jongin hasn’t know for sun cycles that Kyungsoo loves him, and it’s not like Kyungsoo hasn’t done things throughout their time together to prove his affection. But this time is the first time Kyungsoo has spoken his heart out loud with the intent of showing it to Jongin.  
“I’m so very much in love with you, and I can’t lose you,” Kyungsoo continues. He arches up, kisses the corner of Jongin’s mouth. “So this pup is going to live, because already I love him just as much.”  
A laugh bursts from Jongin’s lips, the sound wrapped up in a sob. “Really?” he asks. His hands slide from Kyungsoo’s wrists to his hands, tangling their fingers together between them. He leans his forehead against Kyungsoo’s, and the last of his panic subsides.  
“Really,” Kyungsoo promises. He drops a kiss on Jongin’s lips. “Now don’t cry. We’re going to have a pup.”  
“We’re going to have a pup,” Jongin echoes, but he does still cry. His tears are happiness mixed with salt slipping down his cheeks and coating the edges of his smile. Kyungsoo loves him, and Kyungsoo believes in him. This may not be one of the stories his grandmother used to tell, but this story is their story, and it’s one Jongin made for himself. Kyungsoo isn’t the perfect alpha charming, but he’s perfect for Jongin.  
He has been for almost as long as Jongin can remember.  
Jongin’s fear shudders in face of the wolf who holds Jongin in his arms and tells him repeatedly that he loves him.  
~*~  
When Jongin wakes on the first day of spring, his instincts scream at him to get away from Kyungsoo and to be alone; his mind tells him to get to the medicine hut before the pain of his contractions becomes too much.  
His heart reaches for Kyungsoo who has stood through his side through war and through famine.  
His grandmother always did tell him to follow his heart.  
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin whispers, reaching across their fur pallet to grab his mate’s arm, shaking him. “Kyungsoo.”  
Kyungsoo grumbles a bit and snorts in his sleep. The morning sunlight shows off the gray streaked at his temples. A contraction, nothing too painful but definitely there, pulls at Jongin’s insides, and he grips Kyungsoo’s arm tighter.  
“Kyungsoo!” he says, louder, more urgently. He shakes his mate and kicks his ankle. “Wake the fuck up!” Kyungsoo’s eyes open blearily, squinting through a sunbeam over his face. “Kyungsoo!”  
Kyungsoo jolts. “What’s going- are you okay?” His gaze lands on Jongin and drags from his face to his stomach. “Is the pup okay?”  
“It’s the fourth month,” Jongin reminds him, cradling both hands under his belly. He waits for Kyungsoo to really wake up and understand what he’s saying. It takes a moment, but understanding lights Kyungsoo’s face into a brilliant smile.  
“Today?” he asks, and Jongin wants to roll his eyes and punch him. “O, goddess. Today.” He hopes his expression reads ‘you’re a dolt,’ but another contraction pulls his features into a wince.  
“Help me up,” he orders instead, and Kyungsoo scrambles to do as instructed, nearly tripping as he works to get his shirt and pants on.  
“Can you walk?” he asks. “Do I need to-”  
“You’re not going to fucking carry me,” Jongin snaps. “Just help me stand up. I’ve got to get to the medicine hut.”  
“We’re having a pup,” Kyungsoo says, pulling Jongin to standing. He makes to wrap his arm around Jongin’s waist, but Jongin slaps his hand away. He sort of regrets waking Kyungsoo and not slipping out of the cabin like most omegas, but then he trips over his own feet. Kyungsoo catches him, holding him upright and steady.  
“Yeah, and he’s not keen on waiting,” Jongin groans. “Let’s go.”  
“Wait.” Kyungsoo is gone from Jongin’s side for only a moment, a frantic rustle following his departure, and Jongin seriously considers just collapsing on the furs and ordering Kyungsoo to bring Yongsun and Hyejin here. Kyungsoo’s warmth returns quickly. In his hands, a tiny coat made of fox fur is folded neatly. Jongin’s heart skips a beat.  
“That’s-”  
“For our child,” Kyungsoo says. “I think, if Sanghun were still alive, he’d want his baby brother to have it.”  
Jongin blames the pain of his contractions for his tears. Kyungsoo’s eyes seem to shine similarly, a little nervous, the rest excitement. Joy buzzes between them. They’ve faced a lot; they’ve survived even more. This, this moment, should not be tainted by fear and pain of the past.  
This is now. This a new day.  
Kyungsoo’s hand hover awkwardly around Jongin’s back and shoulders, warned off making contact. Jongin keeps going back and forth between wanting to be alone to give birth and needing Kyungsoo support him.  
He wants Kyungsoo to be the first one to hold their child.  
The two of them probably look quite the sight, Jongin waddling through the glade glaring at Kyungsoo while the alpha wolf hangs around his shoulder, but no one is out to see them during the first days of morning sun.  
It’s Yerim who greets them at the entrance to the medicine hut, and it’s Yerim who stand on the opposite side of Jongin from Kyungsoo, holding tea to his lips and directing him to drink. She smoothes her fingers through his hair and encourages him to break Kyungsoo’s fingers with his grip as Yongsun and Hyejin, accompanied by Wheein and Byulyi, prepare for Jongin to whelp.  
“Everything is happening really fast,” Byulyi remarks, bringing in cloth to wipe off the baby.  
“His birth canal is almost open enough,” Wheein says, holding back one of Jongin’s knees.  
“When did your contractions start?” Hyejin asks, standing at Jongin’s other knee.  
“Sometime in the middle of the night,” Jongin groans. He squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand and feels vaguely mollified at Kyungsoo’s slightly pained whisper of “fuck.”  
“Really fast,” Byulyi repeats herself.  
“Is that bad?” Kyungsoo asks, curling his other hand around Jongin’s wrist.  
“Your pup is ready to see the world,” Yerim answers. She leans over, coming into Jongin’s line of vision. “You’ve had a very easy pregnancy, Second, and now an easy birth. You really are blessed.” Jongin just clenches his teeth and inhales harshly through his nose.  
“Okay,” Yongsun murmurs, looking up at Jongin. “Are you ready?” Jongin doesn’t really give an answer, closing his eyes and awaiting directions to push. Yongsun inhales. “Push.”  
Jongin tries his best to ignore the pain and to let his body follow orders, listening to Yongsun’s voice and dimly registering Yerim whispering encouraging words to him. Kyungsoo doesn’t say much, but he does hold Jongin’s hand tighter, both hands around one of Jongin’s.  
“Breathe,” Yongsun is saying. “Now push. Come on.” Despite them talking about how fast everything is going, despite his body’s readiness to whelp, it feels like a whole day has come and gone before Jongin hears Yongsun giving orders to the other priestesses. “Almost,” she tells Jongin. “Just a bit more. Come on, Second.” Jongin really only has a little bit more to give, but it’s enough.  
“Goddess,” Kyungsoo breathes, and a quiet sniffle turns into a halting whimper before it’s a full-blown newborn cry.  
It’s the most beautiful sound Jongin has ever heard.  
Jongin’s chest heaves, his body aching. He lets his legs fall and his shoulders relax.  
“Give him to…” he gasps, stopping to suck in another breathe. “Leader. Let Leader hold him.”  
“Her,” Hyejin corrects, helping Byulyi to wrap the baby in linens. Jongin would sit up if he could. “You have a daughter,” she emphasizes. “Congratulations.”  
“A daughter,” Kyungsoo breathes, curling the baby in his arms. He sits down a little hard on the pallet where Jongin lies, and Jongin’s heart is in his throat. She’s red-faced, tiny features scrunched up and nose wrinkled. A little tuft of dark hair peeks out under the tiny cap on her head. She’s absolutely beautiful.  
“The perfect alpha tribute to the moon goddess,” Wheein whispers. “Congratulations, Leader.” She bows. “Second.”  
Jongin’s heart swells, and Yerim helps him to adjust on the fur pallet, sitting up just enough to keep his eyes on his daughter in Kyungsoo’s arms. The small room in the medicine hut is mostly quiet save for Yerim’s slight humming. The afterbirth passes with Jongin barely able to pay attention to the priestesses, too wrapped up in staring at his baby pup. The priestesses clean up, and offer their congratulations again one by one, leaving the room.  
“You’ve waited so long for this,” Yerim says, standing and letting go of Jongin’s hand finally. She adjusts her shawl, covering her long hair. “And born during the sun cycles of the moon goddess… this pack is truly lucky.” Yerim hugs Jongin then, her grip tight, reminescent of the days when Jongin used to braid her hair and goad her into playing pranks on Sooyoung and Joengguk. Everything is so different now, but different is bad. Sometimes, it’s rather wonderful.  
“Thank you, Yerim,” Jongin says in the privacy of this room. Yerim’s eyes brim with tears.  
“I never hear that name anymore,” she says.  
“You’ll always be Yerim to me,” Jongin assures. Yerim kisses his cheek and then Kyungsoo’s.  
“Congratulations,” she says, bowing. “Feel free to stay here for a few days to recuperate.” She takes her leave then, leaving Jongin and Kyungsoo alone with their daughter. Jongin’s so in love with her already, and one look at Kyungsoo’s face tells him he feels the exact same way.  
“I never thought we would be here again,” Kyungsoo confesses. “I really...even when you were pregnant, it somehow felt like a dream.” Tears slip down his cheeks. “I’m so glad it’s not a dream.” Jongin squeezes Kyungsoo’s knee. He understands. The pup starts to cry, and Jongin holds out his arms for her.  
“She’s hungry,” he says, and his heart feels like it might burst the moment Kyungsoo settles her weight in Jongin’s arms. “You’re perfect, puppy,” Jongin tells her. He looks back up at Kyungsoo. “She’s going to have to participate in the tournaments.” He tries to frown, but he’s too happy to finally be holding his daughter that he can’t. “I wish… I wouldn’t wish what we went through on any wolf.”  
“She’s our daughter,” Kyungsoo murmurs, watching the pup nuzzle her face against Jongin’s chest in search of food. She latches onto a nipple, suckling greedily. “She’ll be fine. I’m not worried.”  
“I think you worry more than you say you do.” Jongin gives Kyungsoo a meaningful look, and his mate just shrugs.  
“What should we name her?” he asks. Jongin has given this a lot of thought, but now that the question is being asked, now that the answer is a bit more pressing with the baby here and healthy, he can only hope Kyungsoo agrees with his choice.  
“I like Sangmi,” Jongin answers softly.  
“Sangmi,” Kyungsoo echoes. He smiles, the expression fond and tender. “I think her brother would have liked that too.”  
“You’re going to make me cry,” Jongin warns, his nose already tingling with oncoming tears. Kyungsoo laughs slightly. He’s been crying silently this whole time.  
“Well, if you cry, let them be happy tears,” Kyungsoo says. “We have a beautiful, healthy daughter and a beautiful, healthy pack waiting to meet her.” Jongin bites his bottom lip and nods, overwhelmed, and his tears, when they fall, are happy tears. For them to have this pup now, so late in Jongin’s pup-bearing sun cycles and despite his careful precautions to not become pregnant, the timing must be perfect for them. He really does feel blessed.  
“I’m tired,” Jongin murmurs as his tears dry. Kyungsoo snorts and mutters something about that being obvious, laying down beside Jongin, their pup carefully held between them.  
“I love you, puppy,” Kyungsoo whispers to Sangmi. He leans over her to kiss Jongin’s forehead. “I love you, Jongin.” Jongin just smiles, warm and whole. In ten sun cycles, this little baby will have to go off to train to become the best alpha she can be, but Jongin and Kyungsoo, as the leadership pair, are lucky that they will be able to visit her away training under Seungwan’s guidance as First.  
Jongin thinks they’ve always deserved this happiness; the world was just too cruel to give it to them.  
Sangmi sniffles, starting to fuss, and Jongin scoops her into his arms. Kyungsoo, in turn, holds Jongin, adjusting them so that Jongin is tucked back against his chest, their legs tangled together. Both of their arms reach around Sangmi’s tiny form, protecting her.  
“Once upon a time,” Kyungsoo begins, and Sangmi’s whimpers die down to the tiniest of sniffles as her father speaks words she doesn’t yet understand. The sound is soothing, and Jongin mouths along with the words of the tale of the omega who was cursed to sleep and imprisoned by the sun goddess, dreaming of his alpha lover coming to rescue him.  
Jongin forces himself to stay awake through the whole story, wanting the ending words of the tale to be the same for him and Kyungsoo too.  
“The omega prince opens his eyes to his handsome alpha, and he knew that we was freed from his curse of sleep, that the sun priestess was defeated, and that he could finally be with his alpha forever. There is feasting and celebration when they return to their pack, and their lives are happy for the rest of their days. Happily, ever after." Kyungsoo finishes the tale with a kiss pressed to Jongin’s shoulder blade. He breathes against Jongin’s skin, holding onto him and his daughter. “Is that one still your favorite?”  
Jongin hums and gives a slight nod, pleased. “Which one is your favorite?”  
Kyungsoo noses at Jongin’s claim mark and gives an exaggerated hum of his own, pretending to think. He rubs his thumb gently against Sunmi’s arm, her little fist clenched tightly around his pinky finger. “The one about the Second who didn’t want to Second but was the only one who could be Second,” he answers finally. “The one about the stubborn Second who led his pack bravely despite the greatest losses and encouraged his alpha to be the best Leader he could be.”  
Jongin snorts into laughter and twists his neck to look back at Kyungsoo. “I think I’ve heard that one,” he says. “What’s it called?”  
Kyungsoo leans in and kisses Jongin deeply, holding them there, suspended in that moment before he breathes his answer against Jongin’s lips.  
“Warrior Beauty.”  
~*~  
The morning is chill, the clear sky bright and blue as the sun climbs slowly up over the horizon. Jongin has known this day would come since he first took up the position of Second, and now, after forty sun cycles of being Second, the day when he steps down and passes along his title has come.  
Today, Jongin and Kyungsoo will leave the pack, exiled for five sun cycles, to ensure the new Leader and Second take full control of the pack. Today will be the last time they see these lands. Even when the five sun cycles are over, they won’t be coming back. Jongin holds Kyungsoo’s hand, his skin just as wrinkled and calloused as Jongin’s is.  
The pack murmurs in excitement as Yerim walks around the rocks at the head of the glade with two young wolves behind her. Jongin knows the alpha of the pair; she’s the very same alpha he raised and loves with all his heart. Beside her, not very tall but very broad, the winner of the tournament, the omega boy Jongin had spoken to only one evening prior, offering him encouragement, holds his hand over the claim marks now bitten into his skin.  
Sangmi wears her claim marks proudly, and she does her best to stand tall in front of the pack. She and her Second come to stand in front of Jongin and Kyungsoo, Yerim standing between the two couples.  
“Blessings upon us all gathered here,” Yerim begins, eyes silver. “Might I first introduce to the pack your new Leader.”  
Sangmi takes a step forward, and the pack goes into a loud roar of celebration. They all know the daughter of their former Leader and Second. They trust her instantly. Jongin is so, so proud.  
The male beta Sangmi had chosen as her First comes to stand beside her, and together, the three of them look ready to fight the sun itself. They’re going to be fine. Jongin just knows it.  
“The ranks of leadership in our pack are complete,” the head priestess announces. "Our Leader, First, and Second all stand here ready to take full control." She turns to face Kyungsoo and Jongin, and it’s only then that Jongin can see how much she’s going to miss them. "Do you entrust your pack to these three who have proven themselves before the sight of the moon?"  
Jongin speaks up first, reaching out to grasp the shoulder of the new Second, the one now bound to his daughter for the rest of their lives. “I remove myself from my position as Second,” he says. “I place my pack in your hands, Second.” It tastes to strange to speak that title and address someone else with it. Jongin faces his pack for the last time. “I am called Jongin, and I will be addressed as such until I die.” These words are so easy to speak. Jongin is ready to leave.  
“I, too, remove myself from my position as Leader,” Kyungsoo speaks beside Jongin. “I will not respond to that title, but rather to my name, Kyungsoo.” He dips his head to Sangmi. “I entrust this pack to our new Second, our new First, and our new Leader.” He bows to the three of them, and the pack follows, all heads bent.  
“Leader, First, and Second,” Yerim addresses them. “You may ascend to watch your pack.” In his mind, Jongin remembers watching Seungwan take the first step up the rocks at the head of the glade, following behind her blissfully unaware of what was to come. Sangmi stands in front of her Second and First, staring out across the glade.  
This is it. Jongin is no longer Second in title, but he will always be Kyungsoo’s Second until the day he goes to walk with the stars.  
The head priestess clears her throat and looks to Jongin and Kyungsoo. She doesn’t dip her head to them; she no longer has to. “As per the rules that have been set so many cycles of the moon ago, Jongin and Kyungsoo must leave the pack for a minimum of five sun cycles to ensure the transfer of power from their reign to our new Leader and Second. After that time, you are both welcome to return.” Yerim pauses, and Jongin thinks he sees her fighting back tears. “Who says the final goodbyes?”  
“I do,” Sangmi says from above them. She turns and scrambles down the rocks. “I will walk my parents to the northern border.”  
Yerim nods her consent, and First and Second stay up on the rocks, watching as intently as the rest of the pack as their new Leader takes her parents’ hands and leads Kyungsoo and Jongin out of the glade. Yerim begins to sing, her voice rising over the hush of the pack, and the other priests join in the song.  
The words of their tune are ones of loss and farewell, but the song in Jongin’s heart as they leave is one that longs for the first sight of freedom. He squeezes his daughter’s hand, and the walk to the edges of their territory is mostly silent, the three of them simply breathing in their last time to be together.  
The quiet of the woods buzzes with the restless energy of the Jongin’s former pack as they wait for their new Leader to return to them. The mountains loom over them, offering a new kind of silence, and Jongin craves it.  
Sangmi comes to a halt at the borderlines of the northern sides of the territory. Jongin reaches out, settling a hand on his daughter’s arm. His skin, rough and scarred, spotted from sun cycles in the fields, looks so strange next to Sangmi’s. New, smooth, and young - she’s a beautifully strong alpha. Jongin feels safe leaving his pack to her, but that does not stop him from wishing that this heavy burden, this rough story, could lie on anyone’s shoulders but his daughter’s.  
“Baby girl,” Jongin murmurs, stroking his thumb across his daughter’s cheek before her tears can fall. “My beautiful, beautiful baby girl.”  
Sangmi is trying not to break; Jongin recognizes it in the tension in her neck and shoulders, just like her alpha father. Forty sun cycles as Leader and Second have led to this moment: passing the mantle of Leader to their daughter.  
“It’s okay to cry, Sangmi,” Kyungsoo whispers. “We won’t tell.” Sangmi glances between Kyungsoo and Jongin, and her lower lip trembles. Jongin opens his arms for her.  
“Daddy,” she cries, throwing herself against Jongin’s chest. “I don’t want you to leave.” Kyungsoo’s arms wrap around them both, hiding Sangmi from the wind and danger for the last time.  
“We don’t want to leave you either, baby,” Kyungsoo soothes. The “but we have to” goes unspoken. This is the end of their time with their pack. A new Leader has come to take their place, a new Second and First to stand at her sides. Sangmi sniffles, and Jongin and Kyungsoo stand there patiently, holding their daughter until she’s calm.  
She’s ready.  
“You’re not coming back, are you,” she states more than she asks.  
“No,” Jongin confirms. “I’m sorry.”  
“I’m scared,” Sangmi admits. “I don’t know how-”  
“You’ll learn,” Kyungsoo tells her. “Trust your Second. He knows this pack. He’ll help you. Trust your friends and listen to your First. They want to all succeed with you.” He takes Sangmi’s hand. “And don’t be afraid, baby girl. You were born for this. There is no one else who could do better.”  
“Don’t hesitate to ask for help,” Jongin advises. “Seungwan is a wise wolf. She’ll be happy to help.” He kisses his daughter’s cheek and her forehead.  
“Okay,” Sangmi promises. “Bye, daddy.”  
“I love you, Sangmi,” Jongin murmurs, wrapping her up in his arms again. He kisses her hair. “Don’t forget that.” Sangmi nods, wiping at her eyes.  
“Bye, Pa,” Sangmi says to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo pulls her in close to himself, burying his face in his daughter’s hair for a long moment.  
“My daughter,” Kyungsoo breathes. He sounds so proud, but under that, immeasurably sorrowful. Jongin reaches for his mate’s hand, tangling their fingers together. The two of them take a step back, crossing over the border of their territory into no man’s land.  
“Goodbye, Leader,” Jongin encourages.  
“Bye,” Sangmi whispers.  
Kyungsoo and Jongin walk away then, heading into the mountains towards the territories of the elder packs. They walk until they can barely make out their former territory, until they hear the celebratory shouting of their old pack. As they walk, Jongin’s shoulders feel lighter, his skin warmer, his countenance younger.  
He’s free. He and Kyungsoo are finally free.  
Jongin looks over at his mate, the father of his daughter, the one who stood as strong and might as an oak through the past forty sun cycles. Kyungsoo, too, looks lighter. Even with his gray hair and lined face, he’s stunning. He’s still the most handsome alpha Jongin could have ever had by his side.  
“She’ll be fine,” Kyungsoo says suddenly. “Seungwan will make sure of it.” Jongin nods.  
“I know.”  
“And her First is a strong beta,” Kyungsoo continues. “He’ll watch over her and her Second.” He smiles faintly. “Besides, Sangmi’s Second is guaranteed to do a good job. He reminds me of someone.”  
Jongin nudges Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Who?”  
“You.”  
Jongin drags Kyungsoo in against him and kisses him hard, licking into his mouth and enjoying the taste of freedom on his lips.  
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin begins. “Do you remember what you said to me so many sun cycles ago?”  
“I remember everything,” Kyungsoo promises. His smile turns sheepish. “But you may need to narrow it down.”  
Jongin takes two steps back from Kyungsoo in the opposite direction of their former pack lands, heading deeper in the mountains. “You said I was only ready to run,” Jongin reminds. He holds Kyungsoo’s gaze. “Kyungsoo. I’m going to run.”  
“I’ll follow you anywhere,” Kyungsoo pledges without hesitation. “You can run as long as you want, and I’ll always run after you.” Jongin’s lips quirk up.  
“And this time,” he requests, “I want you to catch me.”  
He doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo’s answer; he already knows what it will be. Jongin turns and bursts into his wolf form, taking off across the mountain pass, running with Kyungsoo following hard on his heels. The sun shines overhead, tearing through the morning mist as Jongin’s leads their Chase.  
In the valley of two peaks, Kyungsoo leaps and tackles Jongin to the ground, his teeth against his neck, ghosting over the scars that part Jongin’s fur and mark him as his. Kyungsoo throws back his head and howls in triumph, and Jongin gets up to sit beside him and sing in harmony.  
And so it was, that after a long many sun cycles, the alpha and omega were free of the moon goddess and free of the trials that had plagued them since that fateful day when they met. And so it was that the alpha loved his omega and the omega loved his alpha with sincerity learned from sun after sun of standing at each other’s sides.  
And so it was that they lived happily, ever after.


End file.
